Speaker 1: Most people are stressed because stress is usually measured, but
Speaker 1: how much you feel you control events versus events control you.
Speaker 1: Smartest people usually are terrible investors. The smartest people want
Speaker 1: to know everything before they decide. Not deciding is the
Speaker 1: worst decision.
Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome back to on Purpose, the place you
Speaker 2: come to become, the happier, healthier, and more healed, where
Speaker 2: you come to listen, learn and grow. Today's guest is
Speaker 2: not only one of your favorites, he's one of mine.
Speaker 2: I had the fortune of growing up to his tapes
Speaker 2: and books playing in my life in my house thanks
Speaker 2: to my dad since I was a young boy, and
Speaker 2: I truly believe it transformed my mindset from day one.
Speaker 2: I was fortunate enough to have that for years, and
Speaker 2: a few years ago I got to interview the man himself.
Speaker 2: The interview went viral, It broke so many records across
Speaker 2: audio and video, and today I have him back in
Speaker 2: the studio. I'm speaking about the one, the only, Tony Robbins,
Speaker 2: Number one New York Times best selling author, entrepreneur, and
Speaker 2: the nation's leading life and business strategist. Over the last
Speaker 2: four decades, Tony is empowered more than one hundred million
Speaker 2: people across one hundred and ninety five countries through his books,
Speaker 2: seminars and coaching. He's leading the one hundred billion Meals
Speaker 2: challenge to help end hunger worldwide. This January, he'll host
Speaker 2: the Time to Rise Summit, a free virtual event which
Speaker 2: I want you to sign up for, bringing together people
Speaker 2: ready to transform their lives and businesses. We're going to
Speaker 2: put the link all over this.
Speaker 3: Make sure you.
Speaker 2: Go and subscribe and sign up and don't miss out.
Speaker 2: Please welcome to On Purpose, Tony Robbins, Tony, it's great
Speaker 2: to be back.
Speaker 1: Who with this. It's quite an introduction. Jay almost embarrassed
Speaker 1: by the way you have to live it.
Speaker 3: You have to live it.
Speaker 1: So it touches me when I hold are you thirty eight?
Speaker 3: Thirty eight?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, so many thirty eight comes in. I've been
Speaker 1: listening to you for twenty five years or twenty years
Speaker 1: or something like, how old are you? I've been around
Speaker 1: that long? Good. No, it's a pleasure to be with you,
Speaker 1: and I really love what you do. Your introduction and
Speaker 1: you didn't mentioned, but I want to mention his intention
Speaker 1: for all of you listening was that his guests, whoever
Speaker 1: they are, that their message will be received and people
Speaker 1: go deeper in their understanding of that person and also
Speaker 1: their careful that person and vice versa. And I think
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful intent. The whole on Purpose podcast bringing
Speaker 1: happiness and joy and healing is it's my mission as well.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to be with you. Well.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for leading the way and paving
Speaker 2: the way for so many of us and continuing to
Speaker 2: be such a great torch bearer for so many, Tony,
Speaker 2: I want to start with you. Know, with you, there's
Speaker 2: so many things we can talk about, and you've been
Speaker 2: doing this work for decades. I feel like your ability
Speaker 2: to learn what's the root of things is second to none.
Speaker 3: It's so powerful for you to know.
Speaker 2: And I feel today since even when you started, people
Speaker 2: are still stuck. The thing I hear the most is
Speaker 2: I'm stuck in a relationship, I'm stuck in a dead
Speaker 2: end job, I'm stuck in life and I feel like
Speaker 2: I can't move. I don't know what I need to do.
Speaker 2: What's the first thing people need to do if they
Speaker 2: feel stuck.
Speaker 1: They've got to make some decisions, right, I mean? And
Speaker 1: what stops feel make decisions? You and I to what
Speaker 1: is this fear people are afraid of making the wrong
Speaker 1: decision for you to not being perfect, fear of the
Speaker 1: consequences of their decisions. But let's chunk it up a
Speaker 1: little bit. What do people really want? We started out
Speaker 1: we were all here created by something. I like God
Speaker 1: is the term. Some people like the universe. I'm not
Speaker 1: here to argue with that whatsoever. But we have to
Speaker 1: agree that something created us, and that's something gave us choices,
Speaker 1: and choices are how we co create are basically our lives.
Speaker 1: It's not your conditions, it's your decisions, the term and
Speaker 1: the quality of your life. I had pretty rough conditions
Speaker 1: growing up, to say least, but I turn those into
Speaker 1: good conditions because of a mindset, because of certain psychology,
Speaker 1: I gets to certain decisions and if you think of it,
Speaker 1: your life. Most people are stressed because they stress is
Speaker 1: usually measured. But how much you feel you control events
Speaker 1: versus events control you. The more you feel events are
Speaker 1: controlling you, the more overwhelm you feel, the more stress,
Speaker 1: the more anxiety, the more fear. And we live in
Speaker 1: a culture where mental health is that record lows in
Speaker 1: terms of quality and happiness and joy and fulfillment and
Speaker 1: anxiety or through the roof. And it's not because the
Speaker 1: world is so much more stressful. It's because the way
Speaker 1: we process the world, we have more information coming at
Speaker 1: us than any time in history. Obviously we're drowning and information.
Speaker 1: We're starving for wisdom. But in order to go from
Speaker 1: being stressed and not we understand that the I think
Speaker 1: the single most important tool is decision making, because I
Speaker 1: think that's been the skill that took me from you know,
Speaker 1: barely surviving in a family that had tremendous pain and
Speaker 1: tremendous angst was to be the nicest, waring to say,
Speaker 1: and no finances and four different fathers and a lot
Speaker 1: of physical and emotional abuse to being able to serve
Speaker 1: literally hundreds of millions, billions of people. It's been decisions
Speaker 1: along the way. So if you look at your own life, yours, mine,
Speaker 1: anyone's life, anyone listening or watching, you have to be
Speaker 1: honest and say, I'm a creator and if I don't
Speaker 1: like what I have, I've gotten here by the decisions
Speaker 1: that have created that. And look, there's lots of little
Speaker 1: decisions wake all day long. And I know you talk
Speaker 1: about decisions. I'm writing a whole book on it right now.
Speaker 1: And most people, well, you know, don't understand that most
Speaker 1: decisions are easy to change, right, you know, I think
Speaker 1: I think you give an example. I give the example
Speaker 1: of Bezos as well as Amazon and type two decisions,
Speaker 1: the ones you can change are easily Type one are significant, right,
Speaker 1: They're going to be hard to change. Focusing on those
Speaker 1: big decisions is really important in life. But I think
Speaker 1: most people they're afraid. And then the second thing is
Speaker 1: they think they don't have enough information, which is really
Speaker 1: just fear again, because you know, I wrote an entire
Speaker 1: book where I interviewed fifty of the most incredible financial
Speaker 1: people in the world. All people started with nothing became billionaires,
Speaker 1: the best investors in history, the Ray Values, the carl Icons,
Speaker 1: the warm Buffets. And one of things I learned over
Speaker 1: and over again from them is the smartest people usually
Speaker 1: are terrible investors. And it's not going to be Yeah,
Speaker 1: And they said, because the smartest people want to know
Speaker 1: everything before they decide, and if you wait till you
Speaker 1: know everything, the opportunity's gone. And that's true not just
Speaker 1: in finance, I think that's true in life. Yes, right,
Speaker 1: we wait till we have absolute certainty. There's no absolute
Speaker 1: certainy in life. The only absolute certainty is faith. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, how do you drive down a street but
Speaker 1: nothing but a line separating you from crazies coming driving
Speaker 1: at you at sixty five miles an hour, And every
Speaker 1: single day, in every country in the world and every
Speaker 1: city in the world, someone will cross that line and
Speaker 1: kill someone because they were drunk, because they fall asleep,
Speaker 1: because they're texting. And yet how do you get out
Speaker 1: there every day without fear? And do it? You use
Speaker 1: a gift that God gave us. It's called faith. It's
Speaker 1: not what you learn faith. I'm not talking about a religion.
Speaker 1: I'm talking to the capacity to see beyond the present
Speaker 1: moment and have a sense of certainty. Right, And so
Speaker 1: why do you do it? Because the alternative is to
Speaker 1: live at home and do nothing, go back to the
Speaker 1: COVID days and be trapped. Right. We know what that
Speaker 1: did to people psychologically, emotionally because they felt completely at
Speaker 1: the effect of things. So the fastest way to change
Speaker 1: your life is start making some real decisions. And I
Speaker 1: know it's hard initially. The other part is it's just
Speaker 1: that the more you make decisions, the more decision making
Speaker 1: muscles you get you know what I mean, It's like,
Speaker 1: well you barely Some people have weak decision making muscles.
Speaker 1: They You've ever been to a dinner with somebody or
Speaker 1: a group of people, and there's always one person that's
Speaker 1: hanging on to the last moment, still can't decide. You
Speaker 1: seeither way to wait, just trying to be nice. You
Speaker 1: can see him kind of losing my right, it's like,
Speaker 1: just freaking decide, help this lady out right, And they
Speaker 1: finally decide, Well, that's the habit of a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and they can't make this anyone to eat for dinner tonight?
Speaker 1: How they make a life decision? Right? So the first
Speaker 1: step is to make some maybe he make some small
Speaker 1: ones that you can do and get some momentum. But
Speaker 1: the more decisions you make, the faster it gets. I
Speaker 1: think the whole idea that I have to make the
Speaker 1: right decision is the is the wrong way to look
Speaker 1: at it. My whole view has been not deciding is
Speaker 1: the worst decision. Right. I need to consciously decide if
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like things are affecting me,
Speaker 1: if I'm going to shape my world, I'll make a decision.
Speaker 1: And if I'm wrong. I'll find out quicker. I give
Speaker 1: you a real life example. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: remember a General Schwartzkough. I got to know him pretty well.
Speaker 1: Those are younger probably don't remember his name. But the
Speaker 1: first war that was done over, you know, whether I ran,
Speaker 1: I guess basically with Iraq. Rather he ran the Allied forces.
Speaker 1: And he's a brilliant guy, and he was very powerful.
Speaker 1: He could talk to guys that were from the barrio
Speaker 1: and he could talk to guys from Princeton incredibly well.
Speaker 1: And I really lovely human being. But I asked him
Speaker 1: what the most important skill was of a leader and
Speaker 1: he said decision making, which I agreed with obviously. And
Speaker 1: I said, well, what do you think he's making decisions?
Speaker 1: And he said, I'll tell you a story. So he
Speaker 1: told me the story. I tell you the short version
Speaker 1: of it briefly. When he was a private, he represented
Speaker 1: a general, and the Pentagon had worked for almost I think,
Speaker 1: he said, more than a decade and a half analyzing
Speaker 1: this strategic decision they had to make. And there are
Speaker 1: people on both sides, and they argued in on both
Speaker 1: sides fully, so strongly, that no one made a decision
Speaker 1: for over ten years, and they knew they had to
Speaker 1: make the decision. If they didn't make it now, it
Speaker 1: could cost the country our security. It's a big decision.
Speaker 1: And so he, being the private organized the team that
Speaker 1: had to read all these volumes of materials so they
Speaker 1: could summarize it so the general have the information. And
Speaker 1: he said, then the meeting got pushed up and even
Speaker 1: with a group of eight people, they could not gather
Speaker 1: all the information and fully summarize it. Meanwhile, the generals
Speaker 1: called overseas during this time when he should have been prepping.
Speaker 1: It wasn't his fault, but he had a deal in it.
Speaker 1: Flew back the night before they're loading up with all
Speaker 1: this information. He didn't get back till ten o'clock at night.
Speaker 1: The meeting was eight in the morning. Right most important
Speaker 1: decision in the Pentagon's history was how it was framed,
Speaker 1: he said. He came in the meeting, he said, give
Speaker 1: me your arguments. One person stood up for twenty minutes
Speaker 1: and gave this full blown argument. This is the direction
Speaker 1: to go, all right, give me your argument. Twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: full blast their argument. He said, okay, do this, and
Speaker 1: he all saluted and he walked down the room and
Speaker 1: he said, Schwartzkof said, he's a private nun general right
Speaker 1: at that time, right, he said, I don't know what
Speaker 1: the hell to do. He couldn't possibly know all this information,
Speaker 1: He couldn't possibly know what to do in this situation.
Speaker 1: And he was totally stressed by it. And so he
Speaker 1: worked up enough courage to knock on the General's door
Speaker 1: and said, General, permission to speak freely. He said, ease,
Speaker 1: at ease, he goes, General, I've worked on this for
Speaker 1: four weeks with eight people. I said, you weren't even
Speaker 1: here last night. This is one of the most important decisions. Ever,
Speaker 1: how could I know you'd an if all the information,
Speaker 1: how could you possibly make that decision? He said, young man,
Speaker 1: because the decision need to be made, And he said,
Speaker 1: on both sides are equally strong. So I picked the
Speaker 1: one I believe is right. If I'm wrong, we'll find
Speaker 1: out quicker. It won't take a dictator, you know, ten
Speaker 1: years to mind out. And if I'm right, we'll continue.
Speaker 1: If I'm wrong, we'll make a shift. And he said it.
Speaker 1: He said it just was outside of his world, was
Speaker 1: so simple. And then he told me one other one
Speaker 1: that I thought was really good. He said he was
Speaker 1: leaving one time, and he left him as a private
Speaker 1: in charge of things. He said, you're in charge, you
Speaker 1: make these decisions, you do these things. He said, general, General,
Speaker 1: how do I know what to do? He said, rule thirteen?
Speaker 1: He goes rule thirteen. Sir, he's starting out the door,
Speaker 1: and he says, what's rule thirteen? Conn figure out what
Speaker 1: rule thirteen was? When put in command? Take charge? He goes, Okay,
Speaker 1: he goes, but but how do I make the right decision? Goes?
Speaker 1: Rule fourteen? Goes rule fourteen? Sir? What's rule fourteen? Do
Speaker 1: what's right? And those simple approaches I think can guide us.
Speaker 1: And I really believe decision making is the most important thing.
Speaker 1: So if you don't like your body, change it. If
Speaker 1: you like your relationship, change it. Maybe change you first,
Speaker 1: otherwise you'll trade people and have the same problems. Right,
Speaker 1: you know you don't like your career, change it. But
Speaker 1: it for things to get better. We got to get
Speaker 1: better for things to change. My teacher gym aroone say,
Speaker 1: you got to change, right, But it all begins with
Speaker 1: a decision. So maybe start with small decisions or maybe
Speaker 1: attack a big one. Because when you do you get momentum.
Speaker 1: And by the way, it's only a decision if you
Speaker 1: act on it immediately. And so I have a rule
Speaker 1: that's like anytime I set a goal, anytime I make
Speaker 1: a decision, I make sure that within a few minutes
Speaker 1: of making it, I do something that commits me to
Speaker 1: follow through. Because here's the other problem. Have you ever
Speaker 1: done this? You ever made a decision then not follow through? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Why because I was Maybe because I made a decision
Speaker 2: and I was uneasy about it afterwards, or there was
Speaker 2: some fear that crept in or I didn't I didn't
Speaker 2: have a plan to execute it on it properly.
Speaker 1: All those are the typical answers to you're it's spot
Speaker 1: on in your experience. But the biggest reason is people
Speaker 1: think decision is a one step process, and I found
Speaker 1: it's three. Right, you can decide in the moment. The
Speaker 1: reason I make that commitment that when I'm in the moment,
Speaker 1: I do something that commits me. When I leave that moment,
Speaker 1: you get in state, you get inspired enough, or you
Speaker 1: get pissed off enough, something moves you and say, none
Speaker 1: of the day, not an hour, I'm changing this, right,
Speaker 1: But then when you leave that moment and you get
Speaker 1: caught up with some meeting or something with your family,
Speaker 1: or something in your social media, email or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Gradually you're in a different state. And then you don't
Speaker 1: fall through and what you're set is true. Something else
Speaker 1: comes up that you weren't prepared for. Right So a
Speaker 1: real decision, the word decision comes from decision in Latin
Speaker 1: rings means to cut off from When you cut off
Speaker 1: any other possibility except what you committed to, you will
Speaker 1: find the way. It's always told people, if you want
Speaker 1: to take the island, burn your boats. As long as
Speaker 1: your brain has a way out, it'll go back. And
Speaker 1: it's amazing what you'll do when there's no option to
Speaker 1: go back. Most of my career has been because I
Speaker 1: had no net. You know where its screen, Williams, and
Speaker 1: I got to turn around right now. She can't get
Speaker 1: on her sister died. She can't get in on the USO.
Speaker 1: But she can't get on stand up, she can't get
Speaker 1: up to do anything. Everybody knows I'm working with her.
Speaker 1: I don't get her up. All thing's over, I get
Speaker 1: her up. I turn the president around. I do whatever
Speaker 1: I've got to do, no matter who it was with
Speaker 1: no net you find a way. So I think the
Speaker 1: biggest thing is once you decide you want to go
Speaker 1: to the second step is commit In fact, I hear
Speaker 1: women say this to me all the time. I know
Speaker 1: you have a large female audience. They'll say, you know,
Speaker 1: men don't commit, and I said, has he even decided?
Speaker 1: Because they are different steps. Women jump to commitment very quickly.
Speaker 1: Men not as quickly, right, and so deciding is like
Speaker 1: a war. Sometimes you know, I figure it out. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've decided, but then commitment. If I ask your audience
Speaker 1: to ask them, what's the difference, let me ask you
Speaker 1: what's the difference in deciding committing to you?
Speaker 2: I feel like, decide is I know it's direction I
Speaker 2: want to do. Go in commitment is I want to
Speaker 2: stay in that direction for a long period of time.
Speaker 1: Yes, you just added with exactly what it is. A
Speaker 1: commitment takes it into the few. Decision is the moment,
Speaker 1: and that moment can change, which is why so many
Speaker 1: people make a decision legitimately and don't follow through. That's
Speaker 1: why you need to take action immediately that commits you
Speaker 1: to follow through, meaning book the meeting, enroll in the class,
Speaker 1: you know, call the person and set it up organized
Speaker 1: so you can have that conversation you haven't wanted to
Speaker 1: have and put it on the calendar so that there's
Speaker 1: momentum going out of it. But then committing. Deciding is
Speaker 1: really rough. Committing is not that rough. It's just creating
Speaker 1: enough compelling reasons to follow through, even though it might
Speaker 1: be tough right now. But there's a third step, and
Speaker 1: after you decide and commit, there's resolve. What's dimsting decide
Speaker 1: and commit and resolve for you, what's the emotional difference?
Speaker 2: Resolve to me, at least from the way I'm hearing
Speaker 2: it is just in your own experience. Yeah, there's a
Speaker 2: sense of I feel a sense of confidence that I
Speaker 2: made the right decision, so I can recommit and reconnect.
Speaker 2: Or I get a sense of now's the time to pivot,
Speaker 2: and so there's a resolution of am I continue down
Speaker 2: this road or we're gonna pivot?
Speaker 3: Yes, at least how I hear.
Speaker 1: I understand complete you're valuating with something new came. But
Speaker 1: to me, resolve is whatever you did in that moment,
Speaker 1: it's done right right. I know. Jim Runt had told
Speaker 1: me one time that he was speaking about resolve to
Speaker 1: this audience of young people, and I think it was
Speaker 1: like a nine year old girl. He said, who's got definition? Resolve?
Speaker 1: And this young girl stood up and she said, I
Speaker 1: think it's promising yourself you will never give up.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 1: It was a beautiful example. When you resolve, you're at peace.
Speaker 1: Deciding is like a war, right, committing choir's energy and
Speaker 1: take you into the future. As you describe and then resolve,
Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's like it's done. It's done in me.
Speaker 1: It may not be done in the world, but it's
Speaker 1: done in me. Now I'll find the way or I'll
Speaker 1: make the way, and there's no uncertainty, there's no fear,
Speaker 1: there's no anxiety, there's no it's like when you get
Speaker 1: to that psychological emotional place, that's the place and what
Speaker 1: you get results. If you look at an athlete, athletes
Speaker 1: are perfect examples this. I'm sure you've seen a time
Speaker 1: where you watch an athlete walk up to shoot a
Speaker 1: free thrower, let's say, a kick her football, and you
Speaker 1: think it's going to miss it, yeah, and then they do.
Speaker 1: How did you know they're going to miss it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Physiology, the where their head was, where their eyes were.
Speaker 1: Yes, you could see in their state a lack of
Speaker 1: certainty when someone when you see, like you know, something
Speaker 1: like Lebron take the ball to go straight in and
Speaker 1: go over some top of somebody's head and put it through.
Speaker 1: There is not He didn't just decide, he didn't just commit.
Speaker 1: He has resolved that every ounce of his where it's
Speaker 1: going to go.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right, So I think, just to summarize, I think there
Speaker 1: isn't a more important skilled than decision making. And if
Speaker 1: you're not good at all, you got to start making
Speaker 1: some decisions. What would you my question would be, instead
Speaker 1: of just listening yesterday, if nothing else came out of this,
Speaker 1: what's one little decision you could make that would increase
Speaker 1: the quality of your life that honestly you know you
Speaker 1: should make. Maybe even putting it off because it's inconvenient,
Speaker 1: you've got lots of other stressful things in your life,
Speaker 1: or you're not really comfortable. But if you really committed
Speaker 1: and you follow through, you just decided, commit it and
Speaker 1: follow through right resolved, where would you be a year
Speaker 1: from now? What would your life be like? And I
Speaker 1: would take a little decision and what action would you
Speaker 1: take today? Make that decision now and then if you're bold,
Speaker 1: what's a big decision, what's a tough decision, what's the
Speaker 1: decision you've been putting off? Or you know and you
Speaker 1: got it's right, But you know, it might be about
Speaker 1: a relationship, you know, it might be about how you're
Speaker 1: dealing with your kids. It might be around your career
Speaker 1: or your business or your finances. But that's how life
Speaker 1: gets better. That's how you start treating life as opposed
Speaker 1: to being a manager of circumstance. And I think when
Speaker 1: people are maintaining, when they're managing their circumstances, when they're surviving,
Speaker 1: they're miserable. Like we are made to grow and we're
Speaker 1: made to give. When we grow, we have more to give.
Speaker 1: And so I think decision making is the pathway one
Speaker 1: of them, certainly to getting there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so powerful listening to you talk about it,
Speaker 2: because I feel a lot of us. The second mistake
Speaker 2: we make is that after we make a decision, we
Speaker 2: hope that that decision solved everything. So it's like you
Speaker 2: make one decision and then you're like, all right, well
Speaker 2: I quit my job or I left that person, or
Speaker 2: I got a new job, and that should solve it.
Speaker 2: And the reality is what you're saying is no. Decision
Speaker 2: making is a continual process. It asked up in time
Speaker 2: and time again. You don't get to make one decision.
Speaker 2: Your life is sold.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Life is made up of lots of little and big
Speaker 2: decisions along the way.
Speaker 1: You know what the biggest problem is that people have
Speaker 1: They think they're not supposed to have them. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: problems are a sign of life. I remember I interviewed
Speaker 1: who was the name Norman Vincent Peelee Dr Peel, who
Speaker 1: wrote the original power Puzzle thinking book when I was
Speaker 1: thirty two. He was ninety two, and he invited me,
Speaker 1: because my career was growing, invited me up to Toronto
Speaker 1: to meet him at an event he was doing. So
Speaker 1: I came backstage and I spent about an hour in advance,
Speaker 1: and I remember asking. I said to you know, I'm curious.
Speaker 1: I said, why is still doing these events? He goes, well, Tony,
Speaker 1: there's still a few negative people around here at ninety two.
Speaker 1: I said, what's the most think about? Ninety two? He's
Speaker 1: men's horse and carriage to rockets, right, you know, nothing
Speaker 1: to computers, right. Just the changes in his lifetime were
Speaker 1: just unbelievable and I said, what do you think is
Speaker 1: the most important thing people need to understand? And he
Speaker 1: said the power of problems. And I said what do
Speaker 1: you mean by that? He goes, well, the only people
Speaker 1: out problems are in cemeteries. And I said, I think
Speaker 1: I heard that. Some we said, I'm nineteen forty seven.
Speaker 1: I said that, he said, but they never finished my quote.
Speaker 1: I said, the only people out problems are in cemeteries.
Speaker 1: So if you don't have any of you bitter, goun
Speaker 1: on knees and pray for some. Because he said problems
Speaker 1: are a sign of life. And when I find his problems,
Speaker 1: call us. He said. He was sitting one time at
Speaker 1: this dais. He was at a speaking to ass and
Speaker 1: was like a luncheon and beside him was the heavyweight
Speaker 1: champion of the world and he was back in the forties, right,
Speaker 1: And he said that he looked at his name was
Speaker 1: Jeene Tunny. He's a pretty famous guy. And he said, Gean,
Speaker 1: how do you get muscles like that? And Jean said,
Speaker 1: do you really want to know? You just asking? And
Speaker 1: he said and he told me in his head, he goes,
Speaker 1: I was thinking, I was just asking. Now I really
Speaker 1: want to know, Because he were so intense about it,
Speaker 1: he says, no, I really want to know. He goes
Speaker 1: every day. I push against unbelievable resistance, and that's what
Speaker 1: sculpts these muscles. That's how you build muscle. And he said,
Speaker 1: I thought about a long time afterwards, and he said,
Speaker 1: I think that's how we developed spiritually. We push against problems,
Speaker 1: and that's what sculpts our souls. And so I think
Speaker 1: to think you shouldn't have problems. You can call them challenges.
Speaker 1: It feels better. But this part of life is part
Speaker 1: of the journey, and solving them makes you bigger and
Speaker 1: more alive, more spiritually developed, more human, more caring. You know,
Speaker 1: pain and suffering. You don't have to suffer long, but
Speaker 1: we're all going to experience some of it, right, But
Speaker 1: decision making is how we get out of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you're so right, because one of the biggest
Speaker 2: challenges today is overthinking.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Right, We're exposed to more information, or so we think.
Speaker 2: And I was reading a study that was saying we
Speaker 2: now consume seventy two gigabytes of data per day.
Speaker 1: How much we have truly consumed absorb?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like face to buy it. Yeah, and you
Speaker 2: think like, that's a lot. I remember when you were
Speaker 2: lucky enough to get one gigabyte on your iPhone and
Speaker 2: number talking about seventy two gigabytes coming at you.
Speaker 3: So decision making is.
Speaker 2: The kind of arrow that cuts through that, because that's
Speaker 2: the only way to get out of overthinking. And so
Speaker 2: if someone's spiraling, if they actually listened to you and said, hey,
Speaker 2: if I just make one decision off of this, that
Speaker 2: would actually create a shift for them.
Speaker 1: I can tell you too. It's too long in a
Speaker 1: conversation like this to describe in detail, but I can
Speaker 1: give you how I make important decisions.
Speaker 3: Please.
Speaker 1: I have a six step process, and if people want
Speaker 1: to jot it down, I call it oc EMR. Those
Speaker 1: are the trigger letters for what I do, ohc EMR.
Speaker 1: And I developed this years ago because I only had
Speaker 1: one business. Now I'm fortunate enough I have one hundred
Speaker 1: and fourteen companies. We do over ten billion dollars in business,
Speaker 1: and I have no business background, all decision making learning skills,
Speaker 1: et cetera. But way back then, when I had a
Speaker 1: small business, these decisions were just it was tough. They
Speaker 1: were important decisions. They felt like it were life and
Speaker 1: death decisions. For the business, and I knew that, you
Speaker 1: know how smart I am, you're better with a group
Speaker 1: of people around you because even if you have more information,
Speaker 1: they have another perspective, you know. And so I was
Speaker 1: trying to find a decision making model, and I thought, well,
Speaker 1: all decision making is really value clarification, like what's most
Speaker 1: important to you? Like what you decide with someone else
Speaker 1: side may be different, but maybe right, because it's about
Speaker 1: what do you value most? Right? So I thought I
Speaker 1: should start with decision making, not by all the emotion
Speaker 1: that I may have of either anxiety or fear or
Speaker 1: excitement or passion. Either one can lead you astray. It's like,
Speaker 1: what do I want? What's the outcome? That's the first
Speaker 1: Oh outcome? So I get people and by the way
Speaker 1: I tell people, do not do this in your head.
Speaker 1: The reason people get overwhelmed as they ask multiple questions
Speaker 1: too fast to answer that it's like, what am I
Speaker 1: going to do? I don't know what to do? What
Speaker 1: if she says this? What if he did that? But
Speaker 1: what if it doesn't do that? And you're asking twenty
Speaker 1: questions and you don't have the processing power to answer them,
Speaker 1: You're just going to overwhelm slow it down, one thing
Speaker 1: at a time, right, But start not with what you're
Speaker 1: afraid of, start with what you want, because that's how
Speaker 1: the human nervous system is designed. It's designed to make
Speaker 1: things happen, to create. So if you become a creator,
Speaker 1: you start with the wom So, what are your outcomes?
Speaker 1: And this is the reason it's hard to make decisions
Speaker 1: for most people is they have multiple outcomes trying to
Speaker 1: get from the same decision. Right. They want to make
Speaker 1: everybody happy, and they want to make a million dollars
Speaker 1: and they want to have more free time, and you know,
Speaker 1: all simultaneously. So you have to say, which of those
Speaker 1: things is the most important to you? Is it the
Speaker 1: free time, is the family time? Is that they make
Speaker 1: more money? I'm sorry, what's most important for you? Right?
Speaker 1: So I have people write down their outcomes, and they're
Speaker 1: usually multi if they're having a hard times because there's
Speaker 1: multiple outcomes. And I also say, don't ever do this
Speaker 1: in your head, because you can't manage all your head
Speaker 1: pictures worth a thousand words. So you write down the
Speaker 1: outcomes and then you put them in order, and then
Speaker 1: you put the why because the why is what matters,
Speaker 1: Like what is the reason. What's the emotion mind this?
Speaker 1: What is it? I'm even though I say this is
Speaker 1: what I want, what I want out of this? What's
Speaker 1: it going to give me? It's going to give me joy.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be happiness, fulfillment, spiritual development. What is it? Right? So,
Speaker 1: now when you're crystal clear what you want and the
Speaker 1: order you want it in, and that's critical, what's number one?
Speaker 1: You got to be rigorous. Now you can make decisions
Speaker 1: by going into second h What's what are your options?
Speaker 1: And I always tell people one option is no option.
Speaker 1: Two options is dilemma. You need at least three choices
Speaker 1: to be a choice, right and so, and when you
Speaker 1: get to three, usually find this four or five. Now,
Speaker 1: you may not like them all, but you shouldn't lie
Speaker 1: to yourself and say this is the only option that'll
Speaker 1: stress you out, or these two in the option you
Speaker 1: get stuck in a dilemma. So I write out all
Speaker 1: the options. Then I go toc is consequences, which is
Speaker 1: what you're doing the decisions for what's the upside and
Speaker 1: the downside of each of these decisions. To the best
Speaker 1: of my knowledge, the upside could be this and this
Speaker 1: now couldst be that and that I've confided the first half. Okay,
Speaker 1: now you know what exactly you want, you know what
Speaker 1: your options are, and you know upsides and downsides of each.
Speaker 1: So now we're gonna go into the last three stage.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna evaluate, mitigate, and resolve e Evaluate. Now I'm
Speaker 1: gonna evaluate what's the probability of those consequences, because you
Speaker 1: might have something that's like, oh my god, if this happens,
Speaker 1: the worst thing on earth, but the probability is next
Speaker 1: to zero, and you're all stressed out. Unless you evaluate probability,
Speaker 1: you're wasting your time. You might have some go oh
Speaker 1: my god, if this works out, it's gonna be the
Speaker 1: greatest thing in the history of the world, but the
Speaker 1: likely it of happening is zero. Right, You can't let
Speaker 1: those dreams get you. So you start to see by
Speaker 1: evaluating what's there, and then the last two steps are fast.
Speaker 1: It's mitigation. Mitigation means Okay, I've seen what I want,
Speaker 1: I know my options, I know the upside there, I
Speaker 1: know what's probable. Now could I take something from this
Speaker 1: option and mix it with this one? Is there a
Speaker 1: way to mitigate the downsides? And almost always there are,
Speaker 1: and at this stage, your brain gets really creative because
Speaker 1: it's not in fear or uncertainty or anxiety, because you're
Speaker 1: not in your head. It's right in front of you.
Speaker 1: And the last part is resolve. And I gave you
Speaker 1: a million stories. It was too late to do, but
Speaker 1: I can just tell you I've made personally four hundred
Speaker 1: million dollars in one decision I made from this. Personally,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to give you economic piece. What the spiritual
Speaker 1: emotional value has been on things is priceless, and I
Speaker 1: can honestly tell you by using the system. And I'm
Speaker 1: writing this book right now called The Power of Decision
Speaker 1: because I want people to have that skill, and I
Speaker 1: show them everybody bezos decision making skills. I teach people
Speaker 1: everybody's format, but those are my format for doing it,
Speaker 1: and I found it to be incredibly valuable, especially when
Speaker 1: you had resolve, you know, to it, not just a
Speaker 1: side to the process. So I hope that's helpful for people.
Speaker 2: That's a great system. That's the best way i've heard
Speaker 2: it explained. I really appreciate that model because I think
Speaker 2: too much of what decisions making is based on today
Speaker 2: is if you really want something and you go after it,
Speaker 2: and you organize and you have a plan, you'll get there.
Speaker 3: And it's like you.
Speaker 2: Didn't evaluate the probability, if you didn't look at it
Speaker 2: from a systematic point of view, or the other side
Speaker 2: of it is like, all right, you made a decision.
Speaker 2: You get some good insight, get some good advice, get
Speaker 2: some good mentorship. You pivot, you pivot. But the point
Speaker 2: is you can save yourself so much time.
Speaker 1: You got it by.
Speaker 2: Doing what you just share huge amounts of time, huge
Speaker 2: amounts of time, money, and energy. I was going to
Speaker 2: ask you, Tony, you have such a systematic brain, like
Speaker 2: when I've learned from you listen to you, everything is
Speaker 2: so process oriented, which I love. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: you have this deep faith, this deep spirituality, and you
Speaker 2: brought it out there. You said, I'm ad four hundred
Speaker 2: million dollars, and at the same time, the emotional and
Speaker 2: spiritual benefits.
Speaker 3: Prices are off the charts.
Speaker 2: Talk to me genuinely, because I think today we all
Speaker 2: hear about oh you can manifest this and you can
Speaker 2: get that and this. I feel like you have a
Speaker 2: really pragmatic and process driven approach to both. How does faith,
Speaker 2: how does energy? How does spirituality correlate with a very systematic,
Speaker 2: process driven approach.
Speaker 1: That's a great question. No one's really asked me that question.
Speaker 1: That's nice. It's a reflection of your qualities as well,
Speaker 1: which I think you look at both sides as well
Speaker 1: as I do. I think there's nothing more important spirits soul.
Speaker 1: There's nothing more important than your spiritual development. Anything else
Speaker 1: is a joke. And yet maybe the best I described
Speaker 1: is think of about it as East and West, right,
Speaker 1: we both have experiences of both. I go to Indy
Speaker 1: at least once a year on average, and I've been
Speaker 1: going since I was in my twenties because I was
Speaker 1: fascinated by the cultural differences. And as a gross generalization,
Speaker 1: the East is more about internal development. If you go
Speaker 1: to a place like Varanasi, which is one of the
Speaker 1: oldest cities on the planet, you know, thirty eight hundred
Speaker 1: years old, they have fires that have been burning for
Speaker 1: thirty eight straight years NonStop, and for people don't know it.
Speaker 1: In that culture. You know, everyone has different perceptions of
Speaker 1: God or belief of what God is, but in that
Speaker 1: particular culture, it doesn't matter what kind of Hindu you are.
Speaker 1: If there's some believe you should give up all your clothing,
Speaker 1: everything but your clothes. Some people believe it's studying the Vedas.
Speaker 1: Some people believe it's through yoga. Different ways to get
Speaker 1: to God. Million different ways, and there's more than three
Speaker 1: hundred million different gods, your own personal god in that culture, right,
Speaker 1: very different. But they have a belief there that if
Speaker 1: you die in Varanasi, it's the only thing I've unified,
Speaker 1: then you don't come back because the belief is a reincarnation.
Speaker 1: So they want to you know, not come back, which
Speaker 1: would be nirvana, right, And they burn these fires and
Speaker 1: when someone dies, they try to get to Varanasi no
Speaker 1: matter what they do, because they believe that they die there,
Speaker 1: they won't come back. And the city is filled. You've
Speaker 1: been there, haven't you? Yeah, fill the people that are
Speaker 1: dying and joyous. I can't remember. We went to Mother
Speaker 1: Teresa's facility and there's a woman there that was tiny,
Speaker 1: little lady, and she was like in her nineties and
Speaker 1: I was talking with her. She broken English there and
Speaker 1: she was mad as hell. She was dying. She was mad.
Speaker 1: They scooped her off the streets and they're helping her.
Speaker 1: She came here to die because this was her really
Speaker 1: pissed off, right, and then most Americans have you know,
Speaker 1: they burned the bodies. I watched him burn the bodies
Speaker 1: on this boat, and I'll never forget the first time
Speaker 1: I did this. And I watched this little boy who's
Speaker 1: flipping this look like stick or twig, and it was
Speaker 1: his grandfather's leg. No one is crying, no one is sad.
Speaker 1: They believe that the body is the t shirt. You
Speaker 1: burn it and it goes away. So the spiritual side
Speaker 1: life has all that is seen there and that yet
Speaker 1: people live in squalor. You come to America and people
Speaker 1: get stressed about they didn't get the special burger on
Speaker 1: the sauce on their burger, right. And you see people
Speaker 1: that live with tremendous economic opportunity who spoil it and
Speaker 1: don't take advantage of it. And people have tremendous second
Speaker 1: opportunity when they're not fulfilled in their relationships. They're not
Speaker 1: who's to say they're not spiritually developed but looks on
Speaker 1: the outside, but the way they treat people, they're not
Speaker 1: spiritually developed. And so I don't believe you have to
Speaker 1: pick one to the other. I believe that they go together.
Speaker 1: I've always believe when I originally was learning, you know,
Speaker 1: constantly listening to albums that's hold I Am, and cassette
Speaker 1: tapes and reel the reels that's hold I Am. Eight
Speaker 1: tracks of various professors, speakers. I was just immersing myself
Speaker 1: in things. I noticed almost everybody specialized in either how
Speaker 1: I can look at his philosophy or strategy. Right. Philosophy
Speaker 1: is critical, It determines the quality of your life. It
Speaker 1: terms whether you're happy or not happy, fulfilled or not fulfilled.
Speaker 1: Strategy is how how do you get it done? And
Speaker 1: strategy is critical because you could save a decade with
Speaker 1: the right strategy in business, in your personal life with
Speaker 1: your body the wrong strategy, and you're going to be ill, right,
Speaker 1: And so early on I decided you need both, So
Speaker 1: I teach both. And I don't think that's anything but intelligence.
Speaker 1: You know to do both. So that's how I look
Speaker 1: at it. But if you think, like what creates, you
Speaker 1: know when you look I try to look at what
Speaker 1: does everybody want? And we're all different, and I think
Speaker 1: the best example I can give is that people want
Speaker 1: an extraordinary quality of life. But that definition is different
Speaker 1: for everybody, like some people's idea of an extraordinary life
Speaker 1: is you know, three beautiful children and a husband or
Speaker 1: wife that they adore. Some people's is to write poetry
Speaker 1: or write music, or to build a farm or garden.
Speaker 1: Some people's as a grow a business. Everyone has completely
Speaker 1: different eyes to what that is. I don't pretend that
Speaker 1: my life should be your life. I'm the example for you,
Speaker 1: but I'm an example of how you can take what
Speaker 1: you believe you want to create and make it real
Speaker 1: by a combination and enjoy it. Because how many you
Speaker 1: know have achieved and they want and then said is
Speaker 1: this that all there is? Because they have the right philosophy,
Speaker 1: or they were trying to achieve something they thought would
Speaker 1: meet a need for significance and they missed love, you know,
Speaker 1: the more important pieces of life. So I believe that
Speaker 1: there's two primary skills to have an extraordiny quality life,
Speaker 1: which I would define is life on your terms. So
Speaker 1: the first one is the science of achievement. That's a skill.
Speaker 1: So when I wrote my financial books and I braking
Speaker 1: three of them, I never intended that, But after two
Speaker 1: thousand and I was so angry because I worked with
Speaker 1: Paul Tuder Jones, one of the top ten traders in
Speaker 1: the history of the world, and I knew this was coming.
Speaker 1: I try to warn people, and only few number of
Speaker 1: people almost destroyed the world economy, right, and then we
Speaker 1: punish them by giving them more of our money. This
Speaker 1: is the most crazy thing. So I don't have a
Speaker 1: lot of power, but I have the power to convene.
Speaker 1: And so I brought together fifty of the best financial
Speaker 1: people in the world and kind of dug into their
Speaker 1: brains and figured out what's the common pattern. They're all different,
Speaker 1: that it made them go from nothing financially to financially free.
Speaker 1: And I want to show people that's still doable, because
Speaker 1: I think most especially young people, they don't think that's possible,
Speaker 1: and they're wrong. The systems rigged, is what everybody says.
Speaker 1: It is rigged to some extent, but it's still totally winnable.
Speaker 1: Life isn't always fair, but it's still magnificent, right, you
Speaker 1: can still make it magnificent. So the skill sets, it's
Speaker 1: like it's a science. If you do certain things, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have too much month at the end of the money,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have stress. If you use certain other things financially,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be free. That's a science. Your body is
Speaker 1: a science. Every one of us is slightly different. But
Speaker 1: there's certain patterns that if you violate them, you're gonna
Speaker 1: have illness, you're gonna have disease. Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 1: If you surround yourself or apply them, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: a high level of energy, a high level of health.
Speaker 1: That skill is the one that most human beings in
Speaker 1: the Western world are pursuing. They want to achieve more,
Speaker 1: and the whole focus is let's get more, and we're
Speaker 1: a consumer culture. And so as a result, a lot
Speaker 1: of people do that and they're still unhappy. Right. That's
Speaker 1: because the second skill is more important and is not
Speaker 1: promoted in on Western culture very much. And that is
Speaker 1: the art of fulfillment. And notice that I said art,
Speaker 1: not science, because what fulfills you and I consider you
Speaker 1: a dear friend, and what fulfills your best friend, and
Speaker 1: what fulfills your kids maybe really different. Even though you
Speaker 1: love each other and you're part of the same family,
Speaker 1: so to speak, we're all unique in that way. It's
Speaker 1: like what does God love? Go to a forest and
Speaker 1: take a look around. Everything's different. It's ultimate levels of
Speaker 1: variety of shapes and directions. It's not supposed to be
Speaker 1: one thing. I think that's the biggest challenge in our culture.
Speaker 1: We've experienced all this, you know, this pain and these
Speaker 1: shootings and so forth, about people who want to shoot
Speaker 1: other people because they believe something different than them. Man,
Speaker 1: what we've really lost it when we can't have a
Speaker 1: conversation anymore, or we can't learn to agree to disagree,
Speaker 1: you know, that's part of You can love somebody and
Speaker 1: still disagree with them. I know in Congress, I have
Speaker 1: friends who were, you know, worked at the vice president
Speaker 1: level and worked at the presidential level, and worked in
Speaker 1: Congress and Senate, and they would fight, like hell, three
Speaker 1: or four decades ago and they go have a beer together.
Speaker 1: Now they don't even talk to each other. It's a
Speaker 1: crazy thing. But my point is fulfillment is an art,
Speaker 1: and fulfillment is as different as you and I are.
Speaker 1: There are no laws to fulfillment, but there are some principles,
Speaker 1: and one is growth. If you're going to be fulfilled,
Speaker 1: got to grow. In fact, the whole self care mentality
Speaker 1: we have, which I think was important. It was like
Speaker 1: the antidote to the what they just call it the
Speaker 1: hustle culture, and people always stress. You know what, they're stressed.
Speaker 1: They're hustling just to make money. There's no meaning. When
Speaker 1: there's no mean, You're gonna work your ass off and
Speaker 1: be so fulfilled if it's meaningful to you, if you're
Speaker 1: doing it for a higher purpose than just money. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you shouldn't have money. You should. It's part
Speaker 1: of a master skill of being alive and take care
Speaker 1: of your family. But if that's the only thing you're
Speaker 1: doing it for, you're going to stress out and burn out.
Speaker 1: I mean, stress comes to making things more important they
Speaker 1: really is. Failure comes to making things less important than
Speaker 1: they really are. It's an art, right, But the fulfillment
Speaker 1: side is finding what it is that allows you to grow,
Speaker 1: because when you grow, you feel alive. I always tell people.
Speaker 1: People ask me all the time, they say, what is
Speaker 1: it that makes people happy? You travel the world and
Speaker 1: millions of people is what's the common happiness? And I
Speaker 1: say progress, Progress equals happiness. When you're making progress, you're
Speaker 1: happy even when you achieve it. Like, can you think
Speaker 1: of a goal you've achieved that you're really proud of
Speaker 1: and then afterwards thought, is this all there? Is no,
Speaker 1: oh good, I'm so god. But you are more purposeful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, podcast Like I think that's because that's because you
Speaker 2: know it's about progress.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, no, no, I'm agreeing with you. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had the goal where you achieved it and you're
Speaker 1: out of your mind? Like out of your mind and good?
Speaker 1: Like you celebratory?
Speaker 3: Probably not either?
Speaker 1: Interesting? Yeah, well, most people have had some celebrations. And
Speaker 1: when they celebrate that, what I always ask people is
Speaker 1: you're really celebratory. It was great, you achieved it. You're
Speaker 1: proud of yourself. Great, And I say how long do
Speaker 1: that feeling last? And I say to the last six years? No,
Speaker 1: six months, six weeks, six days, six hours. Most people
Speaker 1: somewhere between six days, six hours and six weeks max.
Speaker 1: Because you know why, why does it go away? Because
Speaker 1: we're not made just to achieve goals. We're made to grow.
Speaker 1: We're made to become more because when we grow, we
Speaker 1: make progress, we have something to give, we have more
Speaker 1: to give. So it's like everything in the world either
Speaker 1: grows or it dies. If your relationship's not growing, don't
Speaker 1: be us yourself, it's dying. If your business is not growing,
Speaker 1: it's dying. If you're not growing, some part of you
Speaker 1: is dying inside. So but I found that when people
Speaker 1: really grow, they're happy and then they want to share
Speaker 1: and they have something worth sharing. Right, So, if you
Speaker 1: look at somebody like Robin Williams, I mean Robin Williams,
Speaker 1: I think was one of the gifts of our country
Speaker 1: to the world. You know, he made people laugh all
Speaker 1: over the earth. He came here to Hollywood where you
Speaker 1: are right now, and he had almost no resources except creativity.
Speaker 1: And he said, I'm going to start my own TV show.
Speaker 1: Everybody says that, nobody does it. He did it. Then
Speaker 1: he said, okay, I want to know the storm own
Speaker 1: TV show. I want to make it the number one
Speaker 1: show at least five countries. He did it in nine. Right.
Speaker 1: Then he said, I don't want to do TV anymore.
Speaker 1: I want to make movies that's more dramatic, and he did.
Speaker 1: Then he said, I want to win an Academy Award
Speaker 1: for not being funny, a dramatic Academy Award, and he won.
Speaker 1: He said, I want a family that totally loves me,
Speaker 1: and I love me. He did it. He said, I
Speaker 1: want to have more money than I ever spent, and
Speaker 1: he did it. And he hung himself in his own home.
Speaker 1: How to explain that now People say had Louis bodies
Speaker 1: in his brain, but he had used alcohol and cocaine
Speaker 1: and drugs his entire life, staying hyped up. He worked
Speaker 1: to make everybody is happy except himself. So I really
Speaker 1: believe that success without fulfillment's the ultimate failure. And you
Speaker 1: do not have to separate them because if what you're
Speaker 1: doing is designed to try and serve something more than yourself,
Speaker 1: you're not going to be stressed. I mean, when you're
Speaker 1: trying to serve your kids, or you're trying to serve
Speaker 1: your community or your country. When there's something you care
Speaker 1: about more than yourself, there's an energy that you have.
Speaker 1: All suffering comes focus on the self. And I ironically
Speaker 1: again I started to mention self care. I'm not being
Speaker 1: derogatory towards self care because I think it's important to
Speaker 1: take care yourself so he can take care of others
Speaker 1: and take care of yourself. But it's become the new
Speaker 1: it's the new hustle culture. Self care means you're doing
Speaker 1: something directing your mind, so and spirit to become more,
Speaker 1: not just checking out right, and so many people are
Speaker 1: doing it now. And I think that's a huge reason why.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw. I looked it up
Speaker 1: the other day. I was actually brought it. I want
Speaker 1: to make sure that the right numbers that blew my mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sixty one percent of gen Z has been diagnosed with
Speaker 1: anxiety disorder, sixty one percent of a generation, fifty four
Speaker 1: percent of gen Z women report diagnosed mental health conditions
Speaker 1: by American Psychological Association. Thirty four percent of gen Z
Speaker 1: are currently taking prescription medication, and there's been one hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty nine percent increase in the trajectory use of
Speaker 1: antidepress and among teenage girls since the pandemic. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's like there's something wrong here. This mental health crisis
Speaker 1: is because we think we should do less and we're
Speaker 1: going to be happier. There was a study done right
Speaker 1: in the middle of COVID by a woman run an
Speaker 1: article in New York Times, and she took people who
Speaker 1: are miserable and angry and sad and said, We're going
Speaker 1: to do a time management course for you for nine weeks,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to ask that you do more during
Speaker 1: these nine weeks, and at the end of nine weeks,
Speaker 1: just by feeling control of their lives right twenty percent
Speaker 1: increase in life satisfaction eighteen percent increase in productivity by
Speaker 1: doing five times more than what they were doing when
Speaker 1: they kept Because the problem with pulling back and taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself when it's the extreme side not what
Speaker 1: you or I would do. I know you have the
Speaker 1: meds thing you talk about, right and turns of meditating
Speaker 1: and eating well and diet and sleep righters that with
Speaker 1: the ones you couldn't agree more with you on that,
Speaker 1: But when people make it like just letting go and
Speaker 1: doing nothing, I mean, I am found the value of that.
Speaker 1: But the weaker we get, the harder it gets. It
Speaker 1: doesn't like you don't hit a bottom and now you're okay.
Speaker 1: You just get weaker and weaker, and now little things
Speaker 1: are stressful. It's just like the decision making. The more
Speaker 1: you don't make decisions, the more anxiety you have. The
Speaker 1: more you start making decisions, the stronger you feel. You
Speaker 1: feel like you're in control of your life. And all
Speaker 1: it takes is a few good ones for you to
Speaker 1: start getting momentum. So I think those two skills are
Speaker 1: the key to great life. Master the science of achievements.
Speaker 1: You can study how people did it get the same
Speaker 1: thing with your body or your emotions, or your relationships
Speaker 1: or your finances. But then when it comes to fulfillment,
Speaker 1: you have to discover what will help you to grow
Speaker 1: and what will help you to give more and what
Speaker 1: taps you. I oh, you have. One final example is
Speaker 1: this humorus to me. Steve Wynn is a good friend
Speaker 1: of mine who built most of Las Vegas about halfway
Speaker 1: Vegas beautiful favorite hotels, Yes, beautiful, beautiful old man and
Speaker 1: Steve quite a philanthropist, great human being, good front of mine.
Speaker 1: So we both have vacation homes in Sun Valley, idahoes
Speaker 1: for the snow. And I arrived one morning and one
Speaker 1: night the night before and I got there like two
Speaker 1: or three in the morning, and the phone rings at
Speaker 1: eight am, I mean, a four or five hours sleep.
Speaker 1: Who could possibly be calling me this home? Right? It's
Speaker 1: Steve Tony. It's my birthday. I want you to come
Speaker 1: over today, I said, Steve. I know, but it's eight fifteen,
Speaker 1: eight thirty in the morning. I just got here. He goes, listen,
Speaker 1: I got this new piece of art, he said. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I've coveted this piece of art for the last thirteen years.
Speaker 1: He said, I outbid everybody at Aesophabes and literally they
Speaker 1: delivered it late last night for my birthday. You must
Speaker 1: come and see this painting. I was all right, Steve.
Speaker 1: I had one question. How much should I set you back?
Speaker 1: Eighty six point nine million dollars? Eighty seven million dollars,
Speaker 1: So I said, Steve, screw lunch, I'm coming for breakfast.
Speaker 1: I got to see what an eighty seven million dollar
Speaker 1: painting looks like. And I'm picturing God crashing through the clouds,
Speaker 1: some Renaissance image and everything else. I get there and
Speaker 1: he takes me in the room and he goes see and
Speaker 1: I look at it, and I understand what it is.
Speaker 1: It's a roth Go. But it's an orange square. If
Speaker 1: you've ever seen a roth Quot's and it's literally an
Speaker 1: orange square, orange and red square. And I said, Steve,
Speaker 1: they missed a few spots because this isn't filled in right.
Speaker 1: He got a little man and I said, this is
Speaker 1: a wroth Go. I said, I know what it is.
Speaker 1: He goes yeah, But I said, Steve, I said, give
Speaker 1: me one hundred dollars worth of red paint. Give me
Speaker 1: a piece of paper, give me twenty minutes. I think
Speaker 1: I can do this again. It stirred him up a
Speaker 1: little bit. You know, he knews I was teasing him.
Speaker 1: He goes, tony, you understand he committed suicide. Started telling
Speaker 1: me the whole story of the guy. I said, well,
Speaker 1: for suicide, it should be as blood for eighty seven
Speaker 1: million dollars. I mean, come on, right, But the reason
Speaker 1: I tell this story is he can barely see, but
Speaker 1: he can. I'm almost an orgasm looking at that because
Speaker 1: he finds meaning in everything, like he knows what every
Speaker 1: stroke means. I'm to look at icy orange square. I'm unsophisticated.
Speaker 1: So what makes you feel fulfilled depends on what you
Speaker 1: focus on. And you people say, why do you do that?
Speaker 1: He should have given that money away. He's given millions
Speaker 1: and millions and millions of hundreds of millions of dollars away.
Speaker 1: That's just everybody's judgment. I think you should figure out
Speaker 1: what it is that fulfills you, because if you don't
Speaker 1: find fulfillment, you're going to be miserable. More stress comes
Speaker 1: because you're not fulfilled. It's not because you're not achieving,
Speaker 1: it's because you're not making progress on what matters to you.
Speaker 1: It's because you feel that the effective events versus your
Speaker 1: affecting events.
Speaker 2: So many breakthroughs there that I just want to flag
Speaker 2: for people that I think are huge. The first point
Speaker 2: being this breakdown of the signs of achievement and the
Speaker 2: art of fulfillment. It's so important because I think today
Speaker 2: what people are getting confused is that they think if
Speaker 2: they're more fulfilled, they'll be better at the science.
Speaker 3: No, and that doesn't work that when you.
Speaker 1: Won't stay fulfilled either because their idea fulfillment is what
Speaker 1: feels good in the moment, But what feels good in
Speaker 1: the moment is what feels good long term. What feels
Speaker 1: good long term is when you grow. Yes, then and
Speaker 1: when you give the two things that make us feel
Speaker 1: life is growing and giving yes, and you grow so
Speaker 1: you have something to.
Speaker 2: Give yes, and then saying back the other way, the
Speaker 2: signs of achievement won't make you more fulfilled, which you
Speaker 2: made one big breakthrough. Second one is what you just said. Now,
Speaker 2: this idea that self care is promoting, this idea that
Speaker 2: we all want more comfort, Yes, that we should all
Speaker 2: have more comfort in life. And if we have more
Speaker 2: comfort in life, then we'll be happier, and you're completely
Speaker 2: kind of uprooting that and going well. Actually, the discomfort
Speaker 2: makes you experience progress, which equals happiness. That's great because
Speaker 2: that's the algorithm that we want to be a part of.
Speaker 2: And that's the hard choice, because the hard choice is
Speaker 2: choosing the discomfort, choosing the discipline, choosing the decision that
Speaker 2: may feel hard but is right.
Speaker 1: But the one that's the hardest one is regret. Not
Speaker 1: making the decision almost always leads to regret. If you
Speaker 1: make a decision that's wrong, you can change it and
Speaker 1: make another one. Even those type one decisions you know
Speaker 1: that Jeff Bezos talks about, most of them are still
Speaker 1: possible to change. This just takes a lot, so it's
Speaker 1: always possible to shift. What's what will screw your life
Speaker 1: up is not deciding, is living on the fence because
Speaker 1: the brain does not do well with uncertainty. Right, Well,
Speaker 1: that's one of the human needs is the need for certainty.
Speaker 1: And the fastest way to certainty is just make some
Speaker 1: decisions and act on them and discover what's real. So
Speaker 1: I appreciate your meta comments about that because I think
Speaker 1: I think it's really important to master both skills. I
Speaker 1: know so many people have achieve so much and they're
Speaker 1: so unfulfilled, and there's so many people that are trying
Speaker 1: for fulfillment and they, you know, never last. It's just
Speaker 1: like you got to think about it. Everything in life
Speaker 1: is calling us to grow. And if you want to
Speaker 1: know what doesn't work, the pop psychology of self care
Speaker 1: is not working any more than the hustle culture did.
Speaker 1: They're both extremes, right, Life's a balance, right, and if
Speaker 1: you want to see what the results are, look at
Speaker 1: the medication, then you know. And millennials are known as
Speaker 1: the our X, not the extra generation, the our X generation, right,
Speaker 1: So it's like that is not solving it. To feel good,
Speaker 1: not feeling good because part of what gives you drive
Speaker 1: it either destroys you or drives you. You have to
Speaker 1: make those choices, and most of us will not let
Speaker 1: it destroy us if we don't medicate ourselves. If we don't,
Speaker 1: we find a way to push through. But if if
Speaker 1: you don't have to, people go for comfort. And comfort
Speaker 1: will never make you proud, comfort will make you strong.
Speaker 1: Comfort will not allow you to inspire your kids, or
Speaker 1: your community or your friends. But there's a greater thing
Speaker 1: than comfort. That comes from fulfillment by pushing through what
Speaker 1: And here's the other part is, like I hear the word,
Speaker 1: the other pop culture element drives me crazy. Self esteem. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know any self esteem because when I was
Speaker 1: a child, people said these horrible things to me. And
Speaker 1: how convenient you only remember the horrible things they said
Speaker 1: to you, Right, they said lots of things. But the
Speaker 1: truth of the matter is what people said to you
Speaker 1: makes no means whatsoever as to whether you feel like
Speaker 1: you have high self esteem or not. Self esteem is
Speaker 1: earned by yourself. With yourself. Someone can tell your whole
Speaker 1: life you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're so smart, and you
Speaker 1: can fear you're not right. I mean people like that
Speaker 1: all the time, right, And they have all this anxiety
Speaker 1: because they call they're the best in the world and
Speaker 1: they find out they're not. The parents over blew who
Speaker 1: they were at that stage. They didn't teach them to
Speaker 1: develop it, or to push through or develop the muscle
Speaker 1: that would make them the best in the world of
Speaker 1: what they do. On the other hand, you can be
Speaker 1: told by people you're a piece of worthless, piece of junk.
Speaker 1: You'll never be this, You're a piece of that, and
Speaker 1: that person can say screw you all show you I am.
Speaker 1: So what people have said has zero impact on your
Speaker 1: self esteem, and telling people they're great or not great
Speaker 1: does not change it. Teaching them to have grit, teaching
Speaker 1: them to push through. The way you develop esteem for
Speaker 1: yourself as by doing difficult things that you know are right.
Speaker 1: When you do something and you know it's right, even
Speaker 1: though it's difficult, You're esteem for yourself grows and no
Speaker 1: one can take that way. You then take away money
Speaker 1: or material things. No one can take away who I've
Speaker 1: become as a man and my path, or you as
Speaker 1: a man, or anyone else as a woman. And I
Speaker 1: think it's really important to not if you want to
Speaker 1: feel good about yourself, it's not by relaxing, Don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong on it. I know how to relax, so
Speaker 1: you know, to take time. And I have beautiful family,
Speaker 1: have five kids and five grandkids, so I certainly have
Speaker 1: to be able to do that. And one of my
Speaker 1: kids is thanks to COVID, I have a fifty one
Speaker 1: year old daughter and I have a four year old daughter,
Speaker 1: so I have quite a spread at sixty. When I'm
Speaker 1: going to be sixty six, pretty soon, so I to
Speaker 1: give you a sense. So my life is full, but
Speaker 1: it still has to have growth in it. It still
Speaker 1: has to have progress, and that's what makes it fulfilling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the difference between growth and hustle? Meaning well, yes,
Speaker 2: exactly a hustle. I'm just doing it to try to
Speaker 2: make money if I'm busting my tail. But man, I
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing on you know? It is this
Speaker 2: I always people. I measure people's lives again, have to
Speaker 2: give a zero's ten score on their body, not compared
Speaker 2: to someone else, like your idea have a ten. When
Speaker 2: I was twenty, I thought washboard abs was a ten
Speaker 2: and I had them and my back hurt, you know,
Speaker 2: I mean I was out of balance right and everything
Speaker 2: else to screw it up big biceps and the week
Speaker 2: in other areas. Then, so I asked people, where are
Speaker 2: zier to ten in your life today? Based on what
Speaker 2: you want for your life? Is it energy?
Speaker 1: What it is? Where user to ten in the level
Speaker 1: of me an emotion? Because if you don't measure something,
Speaker 1: you can't manage it. I'm give it zero to ten
Speaker 1: and a little description. Give me zero to ten where
Speaker 1: you are in your relationships and the most important one
Speaker 1: your intimate relationships, because friendships are easy, right, you know,
Speaker 1: where's that? And if you don't have one, that's zero
Speaker 1: and you want to see that. So it pushes you
Speaker 1: right where are you in? You know your And this
Speaker 1: is the one that led me to it is your
Speaker 1: work or is it for you career? Or is it
Speaker 1: you know, a calling or a mission? And I already
Speaker 1: know who people are based on which word they pick.
Speaker 1: If it's work, it's work. If it's a career, they
Speaker 1: work at it and they pretty fulfill that. But if
Speaker 1: it's mission, like I know you and I are both called,
Speaker 1: I don't have to do this another day of my life.
Speaker 1: I do it because it's my mission, it's my purpose.
Speaker 1: I believe it's what I'm made for. There is no
Speaker 1: amount of work that can wear you down when it's
Speaker 1: mission zero. And if you haven't found that, I caution
Speaker 1: against one other thing. If I may love, you've stirred
Speaker 1: me up with some different questions. Yeah, it's good. I
Speaker 1: think it's important to understand a lot of people are
Speaker 1: trying to find their purpose. What's my purpose? What's this
Speaker 1: big purpose? Who said you had one? Who said you
Speaker 1: had one? For a lifetime. If you write down a
Speaker 1: purpose statement as long mission statement, it sounds real good
Speaker 1: and you read it, it's never going to cover all
Speaker 1: of who you are a way for you know, I
Speaker 1: have a different purpose when I'm sitting down with my daughter,
Speaker 1: my youngest daughter, than I am with my oldest I
Speaker 1: have a different sense of purpose and what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: and this business is for that. I have a different
Speaker 1: purpose in our conversation today. Purpose that is what gives
Speaker 1: life meaning. But you don't have to have one giant
Speaker 1: purpose that you're struggling to find. Life will evolve. And
Speaker 1: if you just keep moving forward in a purposeful manner,
Speaker 1: like whatever you do there's some meaning to it, then
Speaker 1: I think you're going to find you are much more fulfilled.
Speaker 1: And those measurements, by the way, I would do them
Speaker 1: on your finances, and I do it them on the
Speaker 1: spiritual side of life, not religious, but like religio means celebration.
Speaker 1: Most people in religion don't have a lot of celebration anymore, right,
Speaker 1: just a bunch of rules. So it's like, okay, I
Speaker 1: divide it is between how much are you celebrating life?
Speaker 1: Because isn't this an unbelievable gift that we're sitting here
Speaker 1: reaving this heart's beating. We don't have to work at it,
Speaker 1: that we're the skin's working, That we can have a conversation,
Speaker 1: that we can feel, that we live, that we can
Speaker 1: have our children. That's a miracle. We forget what a
Speaker 1: miracle does, just to be alive. Right, So are you
Speaker 1: celebrating and then are you contributing? Because celebration without contribution
Speaker 1: doesn't last, you know, And so I say, measure those things.
Speaker 1: But to answer your question specifically, I think it's critical
Speaker 1: that you understand stress comes from having activity without purpose.
Speaker 1: Is the drain on your emotional well being?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's and that's what we're struggling with. That
Speaker 3: makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just mentioned that you have a child who's
Speaker 2: fifty one years old.
Speaker 3: One that's four and a half.
Speaker 1: I don't I want to call her a child. Now
Speaker 1: you would appreciate that, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have a daughter. You have a daughter.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, you said you have a daughter who's fifty
Speaker 2: one years old, and you probably still see as a
Speaker 2: child in some ways.
Speaker 3: I assume I don't know.
Speaker 2: My mom, Mom's always my mom can't stop seeing me
Speaker 2: as a child. But yes, you have a daughter who's
Speaker 2: fifty one years old. You have a daughter who's four
Speaker 2: and a half years old. Talk to me about what
Speaker 2: being a dad at that age was like and in
Speaker 2: your twenties. Yes, to what being a dad in your
Speaker 2: sixties looks like like? What is what's different? What are
Speaker 2: the different challenges, what are the different lessons?
Speaker 1: It's my favorite stage of life is the stage of life.
Speaker 1: I would say that first for everyone listening. You know,
Speaker 1: I look at life and seasons. You know, it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm a big believer that the three skills we need
Speaker 1: to teach our kids or ourselves, especially in a world
Speaker 1: that the next five to ten years will have more
Speaker 1: change than any time in human history. Between nanotechnology and
Speaker 1: AI and you know, robotics and everything else. The world
Speaker 1: is going to change like never before. So how do
Speaker 1: you have an advantage there? You have to master three skills.
Speaker 1: Have to matter, pattern recognition, so that you're not fearful.
Speaker 1: A lot of fears because you think this is the
Speaker 1: only time that has happened politically, Oh well, never been
Speaker 1: this way. It's bullshit. I can show you stuff that
Speaker 1: makes Republicans and Democrats look nice to each other from
Speaker 1: the past. You know when you recognize a pattern, you go, Okay,
Speaker 1: this has happened before, and seasons are one of those patterns, right,
Speaker 1: and then you're not fearful. And then the second part
Speaker 1: it's not random. The second skill is mastering really pattern utilization.
Speaker 1: That's what gives you power in your life. Because now
Speaker 1: a baby can't get out of this room until they
Speaker 1: recognize almost all rooms have an exit and if I
Speaker 1: look around there, it's shaped a certain way and there's
Speaker 1: a handle that if a push pollar, I can get
Speaker 1: out of here. If you don't, you're trapped. So powdered
Speaker 1: recognition is power at a little level, get out of
Speaker 1: the room. At a big level, if you look at
Speaker 1: somebody that's great in business, like how do I have
Speaker 1: all these companies? I couldn't even run one company but
Speaker 1: five employees. I was trying to do a million dollars
Speaker 1: in business sie it wasn't hitting it, and I was
Speaker 1: stressed out of my mind to now have one hundred
Speaker 1: and fourteen companies doing ten billion. The difference is pattern recognition.
Speaker 1: It's like understanding and then learning how to use those
Speaker 1: patterns in those situations. So if you're good in business,
Speaker 1: there's certain patterns. If you're good at investing, there's certain patterns.
Speaker 1: If you've got good mental health, there's certain patterns. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're physically well, there's certain patterns. If you know
Speaker 1: somebody's a good dancer, they recognize how to use patterns
Speaker 1: to produce a specific result. Spielberg has made movies for
Speaker 1: forty years. He knows if I'm moving slowly like this.
Speaker 1: He knows if I go fast, what will happen if
Speaker 1: I pull back? If I bring the music up here.
Speaker 1: So anyone you know that you probably respect and like
Speaker 1: Don's just recognized patterns. They got great at using them.
Speaker 1: But the third level for me is pattern you know
Speaker 1: were a creation? Well you really. It's like if you've
Speaker 1: played music, you did it usually by playing someone else's music,
Speaker 1: Big Beethovenbak, whoever. You did. You live someone else's patterns,
Speaker 1: and you did that long enough you could use it,
Speaker 1: and then one day you start to come through. You
Speaker 1: start to become a creator. Right, we stand on the
Speaker 1: shoulders of the people before us. And so those three
Speaker 1: skills are how you can compete or do well. And
Speaker 1: I want that for my fifty one year old, and
Speaker 1: I want my four year old having said that, you
Speaker 1: don't recognize as many patterns when you're twenty five. That's
Speaker 1: your question, right, And I'm proud of the father I was.
Speaker 1: I mean, I got married with my first marriage to
Speaker 1: a woman that was twelve years my senior, and she'd
Speaker 1: been married twice before me. She had kids from both husbands,
Speaker 1: and she moved in with me, and she was so unhappy,
Speaker 1: and I was like, bring them here, and I adopted
Speaker 1: all those kids. So, if you can imagine, I was
Speaker 1: twenty four, just turning twenty five years old, I had
Speaker 1: a seventeen year old son and eleven year old daughter,
Speaker 1: a five year old and then shortly after a blood
Speaker 1: child of my own coming on board. And so I
Speaker 1: was out to change the world and I had to
Speaker 1: learn how to manage my life and who I was.
Speaker 1: And these kids. I fell totally in love with them,
Speaker 1: and the joy of my life today. And that marriage
Speaker 1: lasted fourteen years, and when they grew up, I really
Speaker 1: I was there for the kids, honestly, more than anything else.
Speaker 1: We weren't the right match for each other. We're still
Speaker 1: good friends, and I'm mar and my wife now, who
Speaker 1: I've been together twenty five years. The greatest gift of
Speaker 1: my life. But my wife didn't think we could have kids,
Speaker 1: and the doctor told a point blank we couldn't. So
Speaker 1: we end up doing it with a surrogate and it
Speaker 1: was COVID, and I'm normally going on road two undred
Speaker 1: and twenty five days in a year, two hundred days
Speaker 1: in a year. With COVID, they shut down every arena
Speaker 1: in the world, and we went from doing fifteen thousand
Speaker 1: people to them saying I could put one hundred people
Speaker 1: in the arena. So we pivoted and I'm started doing
Speaker 1: digital seminars. We did the biggest ones in the world,
Speaker 1: one point three million people for three days, you know,
Speaker 1: and really made it an experience. It was amazing. So
Speaker 1: there was time so we got our daughter. But the
Speaker 1: answer question specifically, I think in my twenties and thirties,
Speaker 1: I was still trying to figure out completely who I was,
Speaker 1: and all I knew is I want these kids to
Speaker 1: be loved. I want them to know that they're not
Speaker 1: here to demand from life. Life is expecting something from you,
Speaker 1: and that if you're here to be a contributor, you'll
Speaker 1: always be happy. And I really accomplished that. I'm proud
Speaker 1: of all my kids are all contributors. They're all contribute time, energy, money,
Speaker 1: resources to help people who are not as well off
Speaker 1: as they are. They're all great parents, and they're all
Speaker 1: just good people. But with my daughter today, it's you know,
Speaker 1: A had her at sixty one, so certainly not what
Speaker 1: I plan for. It brought more joy to mean anything else,
Speaker 1: because you know so much more, You have so much
Speaker 1: more wisdom to share. You have more time to just
Speaker 1: experience things versus when you're running trying to make it
Speaker 1: all happen. And I think someone like yourself at thirty eight,
Speaker 1: and we talked off the air here that at some
Speaker 1: point you'll probably have children. I think in that thirty eight,
Speaker 1: thirty nine, and forty you have more wisdom to because
Speaker 1: you're still you know who you are now to a
Speaker 1: great extent. You'll continue to evolved, continue especially you. I'm
Speaker 1: continuing to evolve, right, But I think there's just more
Speaker 1: to give at that stage. But I also would tell
Speaker 1: anybody that I wouldn't if someone would told me. If
Speaker 1: you think of zero to twenty one as being a
Speaker 1: pattern of seasons, like when I say pattern recognition, the
Speaker 1: pattern that has changed humanity the most. The first recognized
Speaker 1: pattern that we changed and started to use with seasons.
Speaker 1: Until then we were one hunter gatherers and starving to
Speaker 1: death unless we could find the right food. Total stress,
Speaker 1: way more stress than we have today. Right, But then
Speaker 1: what happened We realized, Wow, there are these seasons and
Speaker 1: if I plant in the spring, I protect it during
Speaker 1: the summer, I get to reap in the fall, have
Speaker 1: enough four winter, I can do the whole thing again. Well,
Speaker 1: if you do the right thing at the wrong time,
Speaker 1: you get nothing. It doesn't matter how hard you work.
Speaker 1: So I'm a big believer in looking at what season
Speaker 1: you are in your life. Great, what season you are
Speaker 1: in history? Right? What season I'm in with my family,
Speaker 1: And so I think a zero twenty one is springtime.
Speaker 1: Everything grows in springtime. It's easy growthing springtime. If you
Speaker 1: start a business in springtime, you think you're a genius.
Speaker 1: You're a genius. You're just in the right season. Right.
Speaker 1: But then summer comes and things are tested, and God
Speaker 1: or the universe, whatever you want to call it, has
Speaker 1: made it so we have an easy time and then
Speaker 1: we have a tough time to test this to make
Speaker 1: us grout an easy time of rewards and a tough time,
Speaker 1: so summer. Think of it as like twenty two to
Speaker 1: forty two, roughly zero to twenty one, you're taking care
Speaker 1: of I had a childhood that was a little tough,
Speaker 1: but I was thirteen or fourteen. I had to work
Speaker 1: to sport the family. But I still I didn't have
Speaker 1: to make all the money for the food. Someone else
Speaker 1: housing me. Someone else has taken care of me. At
Speaker 1: that stage of life, you're taking in information twenty two
Speaker 1: to forty two. Now you go test it right now,
Speaker 1: you go say, well, I was toddled to stuff for
Speaker 1: little I believe you know. And in the early stages
Speaker 1: of that season, you think you're invincible. You think you're
Speaker 1: going to be a multi billionaire president United States and
Speaker 1: have one hundred relationships simultaneously and everyone will be happy.
Speaker 1: And by the time you're thirty two or three or
Speaker 1: something like that, you start going, I'm not a billionaire,
Speaker 1: I'm not the present United States, and I can't even
Speaker 1: one person happy in the relationship. What the hell is
Speaker 1: going on here? And that's usually when people start to
Speaker 1: look out for people like you and I who are
Speaker 1: looking for some wisdom about how to live life in
Speaker 1: a way that's happy and fulfilling and growing and expanding
Speaker 1: because they know they're not invincible. That stage, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: if you're in that twenty two to forty two, it
Speaker 1: is the most painful stage across all studies, most unhappy stage.
Speaker 1: If you're happy right now, that is awesome, and anyone
Speaker 1: can be, but most aren't fully happy at that stage.
Speaker 1: It's the most trying stage. It's the testing time. And
Speaker 1: if you didn't grow during spring and take care of
Speaker 1: us soil summer, then you won't reap in the fall.
Speaker 1: You're going to weep. But if you grew in both
Speaker 1: those stages, now you go to the third stage. That's
Speaker 1: you know, basically forty three to sixty three, And both
Speaker 1: these numbers are round right. Some people are early, some
Speaker 1: people are late. But in that stage of life, you've
Speaker 1: accumulated enough skill and knowledge. If you've grown, you know
Speaker 1: the people. I'm sure you're already experiencing it now. Like
Speaker 1: I was in Greece and I got stuck. I'm fortunate
Speaker 1: enough to have a private plane and I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: fly to Germany, and I want to drop my family
Speaker 1: in Italy so I can have a good time and
Speaker 1: they you know, we had a two weeks in advance.
Speaker 1: They told us what the times to be, and then
Speaker 1: they changed the times in said I couldn't get out
Speaker 1: til after my seminar started with thirteen thousand people in
Speaker 1: fifty four countries, right, and I'm like and they were
Speaker 1: removable and so like, okay, my only option is find
Speaker 1: some other way to get to Athens and fly it
Speaker 1: somewhere else. And it's like, no, you know, at this
Speaker 1: stage of my life, there are very many people in
Speaker 1: the planet who do I know that knows, you know,
Speaker 1: the Prime Minister of Greece, so last Jot GBD, Tony
Speaker 1: Robin as soon as he knows it. It gave me
Speaker 1: a list like Mark many off of Salesforce and my
Speaker 1: dearest friends, the human Freadors. Peter Daman is one of
Speaker 1: my partners in business. He's you know, he's from Greece
Speaker 1: and he knows. And with the whole list, there's like
Speaker 1: nine of them. So I called three of them, and
Speaker 1: you know, the poor Prime Minister. I got about nine
Speaker 1: calls and next thing I know, no problem. They moved
Speaker 1: the time and everything else. There is a stage of
Speaker 1: life that if you've done your job and a contribute
Speaker 1: enough to society that you know most of the players,
Speaker 1: or you know most of the people in the industry,
Speaker 1: and you have you've got relationships that are twenty years
Speaker 1: long or maybe thirty years long, and the talent pool
Speaker 1: is not lasting. There's only so many people that keep growing,
Speaker 1: and so you usually know those people and have a
Speaker 1: role in that. So that stage is where most people have.
Speaker 1: That stage that we can think of as autumn as
Speaker 1: the falls, the reward stage. That's when most people earn
Speaker 1: the most. That's when most people tend to grow the most.
Speaker 1: That's when you start to really become a leader in
Speaker 1: that stage obviously can happen earlier. And then sixty four
Speaker 1: to eighty four to one hundred and four to one
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty four, which is the oldest living humans,
Speaker 1: is the winter stage, which is there's a gradual a
Speaker 1: client in the body no matter what you do at
Speaker 1: some stage, and you have to make sure you keep
Speaker 1: your mental facilities up. But it's also the most magnificent
Speaker 1: stage because you can make not only a phone call
Speaker 1: to get your plane out, but you are able you
Speaker 1: have thirty I have forty year relationships. Now I've got
Speaker 1: five kids, and five brand kids. You know, I've got
Speaker 1: people that I love with my soul that I would
Speaker 1: do anything more, do anything for me. I don't know
Speaker 1: many things in the life. I feel closer to God
Speaker 1: in the universe than I've ever felt in my life.
Speaker 1: I feel like my life is such a blessing. If
Speaker 1: my life ended tomorrow, would be the most blessed man
Speaker 1: on earth. I like to continue contributing, but that's not it.
Speaker 1: That's not in my hands. Whenever I go, it will
Speaker 1: be the right time. So it's just like I want
Speaker 1: people to know, and all the studies, by the way,
Speaker 1: show if you stay healthy, this stage I'm talking about
Speaker 1: is the most fulfilling stage. And it's a stage where
Speaker 1: you get to become, you know, an elder statesman, and
Speaker 1: you're not trying to prove to somebody who the hell
Speaker 1: you are. You know, you don't play the social media game.
Speaker 1: You know who the hell you are. If people know
Speaker 1: you like people know you're a good person. But if
Speaker 1: they don't, you don't really care, right, you just go
Speaker 1: deliver what you're here to deliver and do what you're
Speaker 1: going to do. So those stages of life I think
Speaker 1: are useful because we're all different, but there's a racetrack
Speaker 1: to life, and you're not there yet, but there's a
Speaker 1: stage in your life when your brain will go there
Speaker 1: may be more days behind me than ahead of me.
Speaker 1: That's usually midlife, whatever age that is in people's heads.
Speaker 1: It's different for everybody, and there's a beauty. There's a
Speaker 1: massive increase of the beauty of life. When you begin
Speaker 1: to realize it's a limited racetrack. You value every moment,
Speaker 1: every relationship, every experience you have even more. And I'm
Speaker 1: at a stage of life where I have so many
Speaker 1: friends that are twenty years my senior. I have a
Speaker 1: lot of friends in their eighties and friends my ages
Speaker 1: that have passed away just in recent years. And it
Speaker 1: just reminds you that it's a limited racetrack. But I
Speaker 1: think that's valuable. I remember I read a Ray Kurzwell
Speaker 1: sent me one time. Ray Kurswell is a brilliant futurist,
Speaker 1: one of the smartest in the world right and one
Speaker 1: day he sent me this little story he goes try
Speaker 1: and I think that you appreciate this. It was a
Speaker 1: write up about a story from a TV show that
Speaker 1: was done years ago, and in the TV show which
Speaker 1: has a little twist. It's about a man who is
Speaker 1: a gambler and he goes to heaven. In his diety
Speaker 1: of heaven is staying at the Wynn Hotel in the
Speaker 1: Presidential Suite, right or the Encore, the Presidential Suite, and
Speaker 1: he wakes up in heaven. He wakes up at the
Speaker 1: top of the encore and he opens his closet. There's
Speaker 1: all these suits and outfits, and he opens the drawers
Speaker 1: and there's cash, and there's jewelry and watches and all
Speaker 1: these things. And he goes downstairs and every woman notices him,
Speaker 1: and he goes and he's blackjack. You win twenty one,
Speaker 1: you win, you win, you know, And all of a
Speaker 1: sudden he's playing craps. You win, you win, you win,
Speaker 1: and he's like lit up like a Christmas tree. And
Speaker 1: he goes home that night with more than one person
Speaker 1: and he thinks it's the greatest experience of his life.
Speaker 1: And he wakes up the next day and does the
Speaker 1: whole thing again, and the next day and does the
Speaker 1: whole thing again. The next day, does the whole thing again.
Speaker 1: After threehe this he's sitting at the table, he's playing blackjack,
Speaker 1: and goes twenty one. You win, He goes, of course
Speaker 1: they win. I always win. He's getting angry. He goes,
Speaker 1: there's something wrong here. He goes, I want to speak
Speaker 1: to the head angel. There's something wrong here. And so
Speaker 1: the head angel comes over. He looks like gy Lombardi
Speaker 1: in this tuxedo and says, can I help you, sir?
Speaker 1: He says yes, He goes, I win every single time.
Speaker 1: He goes, there's a mistake here. I don't belong in heaven.
Speaker 1: I'm not the kind of guy that should be in heaven.
Speaker 1: And the angel looks at him and said, who said
Speaker 1: you're in heaven? If we always got everything we wanted,
Speaker 1: if time was unlimited, would you value life as much?
Speaker 1: So I'm here to make sure we make every moment
Speaker 1: matter with meaning and with love. It's beautiful.
Speaker 3: I love that story, Love that story.
Speaker 2: And I mean, you've dedicated so much to this and
Speaker 2: you keep doing it. Time to Rise Summit. Time to
Speaker 2: Rise is coming up at the end of this month. Yes,
Speaker 2: and it's another opportunity for people to get better at
Speaker 2: making decisions, to decide, to commit to act, to resolve,
Speaker 2: to have that energy. Everything we've been talking about today.
Speaker 1: Plus there's something about the calendar. That's so funny. It's
Speaker 1: totally arbitrary. But in New Year is like a new life.
Speaker 1: It's like a fresh start, and we all need a
Speaker 1: fresh start. But the problem is most people set a
Speaker 1: bunch of New Year's resolutions and you know, ninety percent
Speaker 1: they don't fall through on them. So this is about, hey,
Speaker 1: let's figure out what you really want, what's getting the way,
Speaker 1: what's the plan. It's only three hours a day, so
Speaker 1: think of it like a great movie, only you're in
Speaker 1: it and you're actually changing your life three days in
Speaker 1: a row. So it's January twenty nine through the thirty first,
Speaker 1: and you can go. You can attend from anywhere on Earth.
Speaker 1: We had one point three million people last year, ten
Speaker 1: from one hundred and ninety three countries, every country on
Speaker 1: Earth that exists at least that the UN recognizes. And
Speaker 1: it's an experience I probaished, we'll forget. Plus there's a
Speaker 1: community of people and there's zero charge. It's not like
Speaker 1: partial pay or there's zero charge. Once a year. I
Speaker 1: do this just to give back to people all over
Speaker 1: the Earth, and it's really really dynamic, and people create
Speaker 1: incredible changes and they share them with the community on Facebook.
Speaker 1: I look forward to it every year, so I hope
Speaker 1: people will join us. And then the other thing, I
Speaker 1: hope you'll join me for that because it's an immersion
Speaker 1: and it's the beginning of the year and you set
Speaker 1: yourself up to win and meet some great people. But
Speaker 1: then also I've actually now created with partnership with Paramount,
Speaker 1: where I'm doing the Tony Robins Network, which we've just launched,
Speaker 1: and it will be all over the world. They're going
Speaker 1: to actually translate it in every language. We'll I've use AI,
Speaker 1: so I'll be speaking with my own voice in there.
Speaker 1: It's amazing technology we have today, but it's literally twenty
Speaker 1: four to seven channel of nothing. But we've got, you know,
Speaker 1: dozens of programs we develop on how to improve your body,
Speaker 1: your emotions, your relationships, your finances, and there's no charge
Speaker 1: for it at all, so anybody can dip in and
Speaker 1: have an experience there as well.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's fantastic.
Speaker 2: I Mean, what I love about Time to Rise is
Speaker 2: that that few days, those two to three vers that
Speaker 2: people will spend with you, it will create a shift.
Speaker 2: There's no quest because we all need those moments where
Speaker 2: we just immerse where we get absorbed, we get focused
Speaker 2: because some of us maybe we'll do ten minutes of
Speaker 2: thinking about our life here and thirty minutes over there,
Speaker 2: and maybe you'll spend an hour if you're lucky. But
Speaker 2: to have three days of three hours each, yes, it's colossal.
Speaker 2: What could happen in your life?
Speaker 1: And I really believe in immersion. The reason I do
Speaker 1: live events and they're usually twelve hours a day to
Speaker 1: give you an idea, and people won't set for a
Speaker 1: three hour movie. You We'll go twelve hours and say
Speaker 1: the greatest experience in my life is immersion is the
Speaker 1: way to learn. Like if you're going to learn a language,
Speaker 1: and you learn a little bit at a time, most
Speaker 1: people have learned in high school, college, they don't speak
Speaker 1: the language years later. But if I dropped you in
Speaker 1: Rome for ninety days with no teacher and I pick
Speaker 1: you up, you're going to be speaking because you're seeing it, feeling,
Speaker 1: experiencing it. So three hours isn't quite that level immersion,
Speaker 1: but it's enough to really create momentum, make some real choices,
Speaker 1: and really change your life for the better. And it
Speaker 1: being my privilege to serve anyone who wants to join
Speaker 1: us and again, there's no charge for it.
Speaker 2: Last question, Tony before we end you you mentioned there
Speaker 2: that and you've talked about in your seminars. I've seen
Speaker 2: you talk about it, your relationship with God the universe. Yes,
Speaker 2: And I wanted to ask you about that because I
Speaker 2: think we often refer to a relationship with God a
Speaker 2: relationship with the universe. What does a relationship with God
Speaker 2: and the universe look like? How does one nurture that?
Speaker 1: Does that? More of what it feels like to me
Speaker 1: than what it looks like. It feels like I feel
Speaker 1: like I've been guided in my life because I've asked
Speaker 1: for guidance, and I believe I've been created. I think
Speaker 1: we're all created for different purposes. And my own personal belief,
Speaker 1: which may be wrong, is that I'm here to make
Speaker 1: things better. I mean, I wear the facility baseball caps
Speaker 1: all the time just for fun. But if you read
Speaker 1: them on the side, it says be a blessing and
Speaker 1: you'll be blessed is what it says underneath. And that's
Speaker 1: my whole philosophy of life. Be a blessing. And I
Speaker 1: think I know one of my sons, Josh, I remember
Speaker 1: when he became a Christian of a Christian faith personally,
Speaker 1: but I'm quite broad in my approach. I'm not restrictive
Speaker 1: of my thinking, and I don't believe VeryE should be
Speaker 1: what I believe to believe. In other words, if you
Speaker 1: have a spiritual belief, I help you follow it, because
Speaker 1: whatever it is, if you don't follow it, you're probably
Speaker 1: not gonna be happy. And I'm not a proselytator of
Speaker 1: people to have to be or think a certain way.
Speaker 1: But I remember my son. He became Christian, and when people,
Speaker 1: you know, find God in whatever way they find it,
Speaker 1: they often think no one else has that it's only
Speaker 1: their way, you know. And he became very, very rules
Speaker 1: driven about this is how it is and that's how
Speaker 1: it is. I was quite concerned, but rather than trying
Speaker 1: to push him to be a certain way, I told
Speaker 1: my wife Sage. I said, honey, we were in Fiji,
Speaker 1: and I said, you know, I've got a few days.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm going to go on a fast for
Speaker 1: the next four days, maybe five, four or five days,
Speaker 1: just drink juice, and I'm gonna read the whole Bible
Speaker 1: from cover to cover. And I said, because I've never
Speaker 1: read it that way, I've never done total immersion like
Speaker 1: I talked about. And I read the whole Bible and
Speaker 1: literally about eighteen hours a day, and I was struck
Speaker 1: at the end by an overall pattern. So I went
Speaker 1: to my son. He's been very devout and very right, wrong, good, bad,
Speaker 1: And anytime you make things extreme, I think it creates problems, right,
Speaker 1: And I didn't try and make them wrong in the way.
Speaker 1: And I said, God's this, and God means ass and this,
Speaker 1: this is what Christ did and this is how it is.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, Josh, I said, just I have
Speaker 1: one question for you. I said, I just read the
Speaker 1: entire Bible from cover to cover, and his jaw dropped open.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm dead serious, and sages of the major
Speaker 1: goes he did it. I said, one thing that comes
Speaker 1: out of me. I read the Old Testament and God
Speaker 1: seems like a selfish bastard who's mean and vindictive. And
Speaker 1: I read the New Testament and God seems incredibly loving
Speaker 1: and supportive of all. So I said, if that's true,
Speaker 1: does God grow? And there's this long pause. He felt
Speaker 1: like he was being trapped, you know, like you're trying
Speaker 1: to trap me. And I said, I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: trap you. I'm asking an honest question. I mean, everything
Speaker 1: universe either grows or dies. So does God grow? If
Speaker 1: the Bible is a real reflection of God. And there
Speaker 1: are many other books that are reflection of being inspired
Speaker 1: by the divine, but let's say that's the book. Does
Speaker 1: God grow? Because it sure looks like it in the book,
Speaker 1: you know, and if that's true. Only the reason I'm
Speaker 1: bringing that up is, I know what you're fearing is
Speaker 1: that you can't have absolute certainty about how things are,
Speaker 1: which is what everybody wants, but you could have faith.
Speaker 1: And I said, he goes, well, God knows everything. God
Speaker 1: knows what you're gonna do before you're can do how
Speaker 1: it's going to be. And he gave me this rattle
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, I believe all that, But the
Speaker 1: question is does God grow? And he couldn't give me
Speaker 1: an answer either way because he felt like he was
Speaker 1: being trapped in it. But eventually he loosened up and
Speaker 1: I could say today is much more balanced, you know,
Speaker 1: in that Area's not trying to make everybody else believe
Speaker 1: that he believes. But I think I think the universe grows.
Speaker 1: I think God grows and I think it's our job
Speaker 1: to grow. And I think that when I look at
Speaker 1: the spiritual side of life, the relationship I have is
Speaker 1: one that's more emotional than visual. I feel like when
Speaker 1: I get up to serve, God comes through me. When
Speaker 1: God when I stand When someone stands up and I say,
Speaker 1: it's a date with destiny, You've been a date with destiny.
Speaker 1: You never know who's gonna stand up. They could say,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm suicidal, or they could say, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm considered killing myself and my five kids. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've had that come up. I could say I've made
Speaker 1: four hudred million dollars and I'm depressed, and people want
Speaker 1: to slap them because you never know what somebody's gonna say.
Speaker 1: But the minute they stand up inside me, it's already done.
Speaker 1: Not because I'm so smart, because I know they stood
Speaker 1: up in this moment. I believe because this is all
Speaker 1: by design and the right answers will come through me,
Speaker 1: and they do. I mean, I've never lost the suicide
Speaker 1: Knock on wood in you know, forty eight years, and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure people have seen. Some people may
Speaker 1: have seen I'm not your Guru on Netflix. It's a piece,
Speaker 1: but you see it in You see people six years later,
Speaker 1: like the woman that was there, that was suicidal, that
Speaker 1: was in that cult where they made you have sex
Speaker 1: with the adults, and she's got out. She's now a psychologist.
Speaker 1: She's rescued all these other kids. She doesn't have an
Speaker 1: ounce of depression or suicidal thoughts. You know, Stanford did
Speaker 1: a study that shows that. So I guess what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say is that the spiritual side of life
Speaker 1: is critical. But when I said to my son, is this,
Speaker 1: I said, I want everyone's relationship to be God if
Speaker 1: I had a choice, which I don't. But if I
Speaker 1: had a choice, it should be as unique as your signature.
Speaker 1: Why should everybody copying everybody else. You should have an
Speaker 1: individual relationship with God. So I said, I really appreciate
Speaker 1: if you read the Bible, or you read any great
Speaker 1: spiritual book a personal Christian. But read any of them
Speaker 1: and let God speak to you. Don't just take it
Speaker 1: from another man or woman standing on a stage telling
Speaker 1: you what to believe. I would help believe my events.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to tell you how to be. Who
Speaker 1: the hell would I be to do that. I'm not
Speaker 1: sharing with you insights and tools and strategies that can
Speaker 1: help you guide yourself to whoever you want to be,
Speaker 1: and hopefully to ask you who do you want to
Speaker 1: be in this lifetime? Because in the end, what you
Speaker 1: get is not going to make you happy. Who are
Speaker 1: you going to become that's going to make you happy
Speaker 1: or sad? So I think it's an individual decision, and
Speaker 1: I think it evolves for people over time. But I
Speaker 1: think it's one of the most important things because for
Speaker 1: those who believe there's nothing, you know, nihilistic but this
Speaker 1: moment or this body, I think that's a big mistake.
Speaker 1: It's like saying Whibster's Dictionary as results of an explosion
Speaker 1: a print factory, it all came together perfectly in balance.
Speaker 1: I just don't buy that, even logically. And I think
Speaker 1: you're missing out on life if you don't think there's
Speaker 1: something more than you and also something more to serve
Speaker 1: than you. And that gives me personally a great sense
Speaker 1: of meaning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Tony, thank you for your work, your tools, your insights,
Speaker 2: your life.
Speaker 3: Appreciate service. Thank you for your time and energy today.
Speaker 1: Thank you for all that you do. I appreciate it
Speaker 1: so much.
Speaker 3: I'm so grateful. For our friendship. Honestly, it's been true.
Speaker 2: It's been a real gift, and I want to push
Speaker 2: people to Time to Rise Summit dot com. Time to
Speaker 2: Rise Summit dot com. That's where you can subscribe. Remember
Speaker 2: you can sign up for absolutely free to join the
Speaker 2: Time to Rise Summit. Can be a part of it.
Speaker 2: With all of the seminars, the insights, three hours a day.
Speaker 2: It's very rare that we get to do a podcast
Speaker 2: and I get to direct you to something which will
Speaker 2: exactly solve what we've been talking about today. We get
Speaker 2: to do that, get to give you this summit as
Speaker 2: a gift. It's absolutely free that Tony's doing with him
Speaker 2: and his friends Time to risesummit dot com. Please go
Speaker 2: do yourself a favor. It's a gift, it's free. Start
Speaker 2: your year off right, get into that great season in
Speaker 2: the first quarter of this year, and remember I'm forever
Speaker 2: in your corner and always rooting for you.
Speaker 1: Tony.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Thank you, Brodie, Thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If
Speaker 2: you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant
Speaker 2: on why discomfort is the key to growth and the
Speaker 2: strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you
Speaker 2: want to be more and achieve more this year, go
Speaker 2: check it out right now.
Speaker 1: You set a goal today, you achieve it in six months,
Speaker 1: and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief.
Speaker 1: There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of
Speaker 1: expected it, and you would have been disappointed if it
Speaker 1: didn't happen.