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Speaker 1: Sudden changes like lightning fashion across the sky. Sudden changes

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Speaker 1: like the boristrous sound of thunder, Rolling sudden changes like

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Speaker 1: the sound of the engine of a train barreling down

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Speaker 1: the track. Sudden changes like an airplane lifting off the

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Speaker 1: ground and to the air. Sudden changes never present themselves

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Speaker 1: with warnings. They do not always make announcements. They give

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Speaker 1: you a chance to prepare for them, whether they are

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Speaker 1: good changes or bad changes, or great changes or mediocre changes,

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Speaker 1: or microscopic changes, or massive changes so big that your

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Speaker 1: legs can barely stretch far enough to enter into them.

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Speaker 1: But we all will face sudden changes. I'm sorry to

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Speaker 1: tell you that there will be times that you will

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Speaker 1: stand over gravesides of that you love. I'm sorry to

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Speaker 1: tell you that you will be in the waiting room

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Speaker 1: of hospitals and smell the smell that only hospitals produce,

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Speaker 1: waiting on the phone to ring to find out whether

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Speaker 1: the surgery was effective or not. I'm sorry to tell

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Speaker 1: you that you can go from being the CEO to

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Speaker 1: being unemployed. I'm sorry to tell you that the son

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Speaker 1: you poured everything you had into may walk away and

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Speaker 1: spit in your face. I'm sorry to tell you that

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Speaker 1: the father and mother who had you could let you

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Speaker 1: down completely, but they're still your mother and father. I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry to tell you that life is full of sudden

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Speaker 1: changes and unexpected twist and turns, like getting on six

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Speaker 1: flags and taking a ride and not knowing where it's

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Speaker 1: going to lead and when it's going to drop and

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Speaker 1: how far it's going to drop before you see up

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Speaker 1: in motion again, That the topography of life is filled

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Speaker 1: with fluctuations and movements and things that we are not

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Speaker 1: expecting and that we didn't prepare for and that we

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Speaker 1: didn't know how to deal with. I'm sorry, but it's true.

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Speaker 1: The only thing that is definite about life is change.

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Speaker 1: There are some things that hit us Suddenly. You come

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Speaker 1: home and your husband has packed his clothes and left.

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Speaker 1: You come home and your wife has decided she's better single.

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Speaker 1: You go to work and find out that you've been

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Speaker 1: laid off no notice, no warning, no farewell speech, no

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Speaker 1: flowers to suddenly you have gone from employed to unemployed.

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Speaker 1: I don't care whether you worked in the janitor's cause

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Speaker 1: that or in c sweet. If you didn't have time

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Speaker 1: to prepare, to say, to adjust, to get ready for it,

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Speaker 1: sudden changes can throw off the equilibrium of your entire life.

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Speaker 1: Your wife leaves you, the equilibrium goes out of your life.

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Speaker 1: Your child dies, the equilibrium goes out of your life.

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Speaker 1: Your career, not your job, your career. You thought you

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Speaker 1: had a career, and all of a sudden, they shut

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Speaker 1: down the stores everywhere, and the equilibrium goes out of

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Speaker 1: your life. The house note can't be paid, the insurance

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Speaker 1: can't be paid, You have to put the property up

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Speaker 1: for sale. You have to drop the price because you're

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Speaker 1: in trouble, and the equilibrium goes out of your life.

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Speaker 1: Your appetite goes out of your life, your ability and

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Speaker 1: agility to be able to act as if nothing is wrong,

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Speaker 1: because God forbid that anybody knows that we have a problem.

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Speaker 1: We are more concerned about our image than our reality.

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Speaker 1: We are more concerned about our reputation than we are

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Speaker 1: the realization of what we need to do to make

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Speaker 1: things get better in our lives. Trying to convince our friends,

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Speaker 1: how are you? I'm fine, but I'm sepastic, and I'm

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Speaker 1: jerking and i'm moving, and still it's more important to

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Speaker 1: me that I impress you with my calmness than I

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Speaker 1: do with my progress. Don't believe spring, it will turn

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Speaker 1: into summer. Don't believe summer because it's going to change

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Speaker 1: into autumn. Don't believe autumn because autumn is going to

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Speaker 1: turn into winter. It's going to keep changing. And the

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Speaker 1: only thing that stable has got to be you that

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Speaker 1: has the flexibility, that has the ampdextrious ability to adjust

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Speaker 1: to situations, that has the proclivity to be able to

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Speaker 1: change with.

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Speaker 2: The times and the currents and.

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Speaker 1: The seasons and still keep your identity and not lose

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Speaker 1: yourself to what you see around you. This podcast is

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Speaker 1: not trying to show you how to stop the change.

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Speaker 2: Is here to tell you.

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Speaker 1: How to not let the change stop you, because if

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Speaker 1: you're not careful, it will stop you. And if you

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Speaker 1: are not ready, it will shake you to your core

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Speaker 1: and knock you down to your knees, and it will

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Speaker 1: knock you to your knees while your children are watching

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Speaker 1: to see how you handle sudden changes. I'm sorry to

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Speaker 1: tell you this that you're not just mom and dad

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Speaker 1: or CEO or CEO or executive. You are a living, walking, talking,

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Speaker 1: squawking model of how do you handle things when they

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Speaker 1: go crazy? And how do you handle things when they

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Speaker 1: are great, And how do you handle things when they

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Speaker 1: are amazing? How do you deal with it on the

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Speaker 1: inside when the brain and pound sudden, unfamiliar changes, The

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Speaker 1: kind of changes that are traumatic, traumatic events, emotional events,

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Speaker 1: The kinds of changes that cause you to cry when

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Speaker 1: nobody's looking.

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Speaker 2: The kinds of changes.

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Speaker 1: That makes food lose its scent and its taste, and

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Speaker 1: fruit lose its essence. The kind of shocking news that

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Speaker 1: makes you wonder about everything and everybody and if you'll

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Speaker 1: ever be able to trust anybody with your heart again.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry to tell you. There will be major disruptions,

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Speaker 1: major aggravations, major obstacles that stand up in your face

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Speaker 1: and dare you to take another step, and dare you

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Speaker 1: to move forward? And dare you to hold your head up,

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Speaker 1: and dare you to keep going, and dare you to

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Speaker 1: keep breathing, and dare you to fight on it sets

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Speaker 1: off a rapid physiological response was designed for survival. I

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Speaker 1: may not just in your head, but in your body.

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Speaker 1: There was an old song that you say, someone left

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Speaker 1: my cake out in the rain, and I don't think

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Speaker 1: I can take it because it took too long to

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Speaker 1: bake it. And I may not ever have this recipe again.

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Speaker 1: That last line is the scariest line I ever heard.

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Speaker 1: I may not ever have this recipe. I may not

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Speaker 1: ever have this opportunity. I may not ever have this person.

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Speaker 1: I may not ever have this responsibility. I may not

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Speaker 1: have this chance ever again. I know what it's like

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Speaker 1: to have that may not feeling, because November twenty fourth

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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four, while standing up in front of

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Speaker 1: a crowd speaking like I'm speaking to you now, I

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Speaker 1: sat down to talk to them summarize what I had

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Speaker 1: been teaching that day, and all of a sudden, I

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Speaker 1: just kind of went to sleep. Little did I know

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Speaker 1: I was having a massive heart attack in front of

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Speaker 1: the world.

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Speaker 3: He is an internationally known preacher based here in Dallas.

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Speaker 3: This morning, during a nine am Sunday service, Bishop td

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Speaker 3: Jakes of the Potter's House, so for the health incident

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Speaker 3: during a morning prayer the Potter's House was streamy live

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Speaker 3: services one Sunday when Bishop Jake's froze mid sentence, it

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Speaker 3: started shaking. Now in the last hour we have heard

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Speaker 3: and seen from Bishop td Jakes after that still undefined

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Speaker 3: health incident that was seen all around the world.

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Speaker 4: During his Sunday sermon.

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Speaker 1: Didn't know what it was, but almost massive heart attack,

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Speaker 1: he said, five minutes later, I'd have been dead of

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Speaker 1: a rival.

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Speaker 5: This is where Bishop td Jake suffered that medical incident

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Speaker 5: while on stage.

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Speaker 4: Now the video of the incident is going viral.

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Speaker 1: I mean, not even in private, not even in a

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Speaker 1: corner by yourself, in front of the world. I'm having

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Speaker 1: a massive heart attack and one half of my heart

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Speaker 1: has actually stopped working all together. And the whole church

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Speaker 1: is upset, and everybody's in tears, and everybody's worried, and

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Speaker 1: everybody's in an uproar, and all of a sudden I'm

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Speaker 1: dealing with sudden changes. I know what it is to

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Speaker 1: find a sudden change. I'm stubborn. When I finally came

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Speaker 1: to myself and realized that people were all around me,

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Speaker 1: and they were praying and they were crying and they

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Speaker 1: were worrying. And my sister was in one ear and

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Speaker 1: my wife was in the other ear, and my son

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Speaker 1: was telling me don't leave him, and all of this

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I had all of their emotions

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Speaker 1: on top of my emotions swirling around in my head,

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Speaker 1: and I had to deal with the possibility that I

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Speaker 1: may not ever have this recipe again. You first heard

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Speaker 1: about what had happened to me, because you've seen me preaching, teaching,

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Speaker 1: run across the aisle, cross over pews, and stand on

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Speaker 1: my head and do all kinds of stuff. When you

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Speaker 1: first heard about it, what went through.

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Speaker 5: Your last So, Uh, the physician side kicks in and

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Speaker 5: we start like a computer taking off. The differential diagnoses

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Speaker 5: what makes a person a faith and Uh, there are

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Speaker 5: a lot of things we talk about singable episodes, such

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Speaker 5: something that causes a certain shock. You can have something

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Speaker 5: called a bagel response. But when I talked to doctor Wagner,

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Speaker 5: my first concern was that you'd had a stroke.

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Speaker 4: I was concerned that you had a stroke.

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Speaker 5: And when blood flow is cut off, whether it be

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Speaker 5: to the brain or to the heart, seconds matter.

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Speaker 4: And so in my mind when I hear that.

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Speaker 5: I slip over a kind of a mental pick trouble,

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Speaker 5: an hour glass and the sand is coming down and trauma.

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Speaker 4: We call it the golden hour trauma.

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Speaker 5: I know when a bleeding patient comes in, I have

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Speaker 5: a set window to stop that bleeding.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 5: We say all bleeding stops eventually, And I always tell

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Speaker 5: my residence either we stopped it, or the body stops it,

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Speaker 5: it's not good. So I was concerned that you were

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Speaker 5: having a lack of blood flow to the brain. And

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Speaker 5: I didn't know whether it was a hypertensive stroke where

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Speaker 5: a blood vestable had ruptured, or whether a blood.

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Speaker 4: Clock had had had cut up.

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Speaker 5: But I knew that if you had a stroke, we

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Speaker 5: had to get thrombo khanyes or strepto kydes in the clockbuster,

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Speaker 5: we call.

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Speaker 4: It immediately to restore blood flow. And so when.

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Speaker 5: I met you and we talked, and you recognize me,

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Speaker 5: so I knew that you were cognitive. And so if

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Speaker 5: you recall, and you may not remember, the first thing

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Speaker 5: I did was I had already moved Heaven and the

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Speaker 5: Earth's at in the emergency room, and we cleared everything,

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Speaker 5: and we.

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Speaker 4: Took you to the cat scam.

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Speaker 5: Yes, and I sat there and watched the images roll off.

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Speaker 5: And while we were getting everything set up, we were

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Speaker 5: also doing ekg's And so while the cat scam was

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Speaker 5: giving us information that EKG alerted us that you had

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Speaker 5: an abnormal EKG and signs of myo cardio a schemia,

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Speaker 5: no blood flow to the heart.

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Speaker 1: It's dangerous to live in your tomorrow or you're yesterday,

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Speaker 1: at the expense of losing this present moment. All of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, I realized the only thing that mattered was now,

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Speaker 1: Because tomorrow could all be gone and yesterday can never

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Speaker 1: be changed. The only thing I have is this present moment,

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Speaker 1: this now, this tear, this trembling hand that had gripped

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Speaker 1: the mic so hard that it would not let it go,

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Speaker 1: and this heart that had stopped beating, and these emotions

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Speaker 1: that were coming at me like hailstorms on a rooftop,

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Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, I realized that my life

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Speaker 1: had suddenly changed. No warning, no dream, no vision, no card,

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Speaker 1: no call, No. I had just done it. Ekg I'd

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Speaker 1: come back perfectly. I had done a full physical I

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Speaker 1: was fine. According to all the gadgets and machines and

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Speaker 1: what have you, I was absolutely fine. But according to

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Speaker 1: my heart, I was dying. Someone left my cake out

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Speaker 1: in the rain, and I don't think that I can

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Speaker 1: take it because it took too long to bake it.

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Speaker 1: And at sixty eight years old, I may not ever

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Speaker 1: have this recipe again, whether I fred or not, really,

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Speaker 1: because I lived a great life, an amazing life in advance,

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Speaker 1: whether I concern totally. But I was concerned for the

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Speaker 1: people I serve and the people I love, and the

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Speaker 1: people who loved me, and how they would react someone

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Speaker 1: left my cake out.

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Speaker 2: In the rain.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you're driving down the road, or maybe you're on

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Speaker 1: a treadmill, or maybe you're on a bicycle, and deep

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Speaker 1: down inside, though your legs are moving and your face

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Speaker 1: is sweating, deep down in the back of your mind,

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Speaker 1: your body.

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Speaker 2: Is keeping score.

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Speaker 1: On an attack that came against you physically, financially, emotionally,

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Speaker 1: or spiritually, that brought you to a place that you

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Speaker 1: had to confront the possibility that someone's left my cake

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Speaker 1: out in the rain. I console myself as they put

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Speaker 1: me from wheelchair to COT, from COT to ambulance, from

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Speaker 1: ambulance to emergency room, from emergency room to ICU, from

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Speaker 1: ICU rush right into surgery. I said, I may not

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Speaker 1: have it again, but then again I might. I might

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Speaker 1: be half dead, but that means I'm half alive. I

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Speaker 1: may be working with half a heart, but the other

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Speaker 1: heart half is still working. And it was then at

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Speaker 1: that moment I learned it it's not what you lose

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Speaker 1: that matters, it's how you work with.

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Speaker 2: What you have. Left.

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Speaker 1: Now, you can either spend the rest of your day,

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Speaker 1: the rest of your life, crying over what you lost,

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Speaker 1: worried about what you lost, worried about who didn't stay,

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Speaker 1: worried about who walked away, or you can look at

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Speaker 1: who stayed, what you have left, what you are building,

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Speaker 1: what is working, and take what's left and make it right.

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Speaker 1: I want to challenge you today because it is so

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Speaker 1: difficult to allow what's left to become so volumeus that

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Speaker 1: you forget what's right. What's possible to take what's wrong

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Speaker 1: and make it so big that you forget what you

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Speaker 1: have left and what can still be done. It is

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Speaker 1: so easy to become so engrossed and who betrayed you,

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Speaker 1: who forsook you, who left you, who hurt you, that

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Speaker 1: you don't even begin to realize who stayed, who prayed,

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Speaker 1: who operated, who labored to make things okay. I left

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Speaker 1: the hospital three and a half days later with not

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Speaker 1: a stitch in my chest, not a rip in my

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Speaker 1: rib cage. Normally they would take the heart out and

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Speaker 1: shock it and clear the passageways and put it back in,

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Speaker 1: and I would be all scarred up. I left there

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Speaker 1: with a band aid on my wrists, because a heart attack,

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Speaker 1: as big and as serious and as difficult as it was,

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Speaker 1: it was not the end. Watch out for false endings.

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Speaker 1: Don't call it over just because it looks bad. It

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Speaker 1: could be possible that a sudden change is just a

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Speaker 1: gateway to your next great amazing, thirst squenching, life changing, mind, renewing,

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Speaker 1: heart regulating Your next achievement is on the other side

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Speaker 1: of your sudden change. So either you see it as

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Speaker 1: a wall and you run into it and bump your nose,

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Speaker 1: or you see it as a door and you push

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Speaker 1: past it to see what is that thing on the

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Speaker 1: other side. It must be something amazing to make it

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Speaker 1: possible for me to push through to see why the

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Speaker 1: obstacle is placed in front of the opportunity. Wherever there

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Speaker 1: is an opportunity, there will be obstacles. Tough times they

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Speaker 1: don't last, but tough people they do. Which one are

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Speaker 1: You lost a child before me and after me? That

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Speaker 1: means I was born in between two dead babies, and

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Speaker 1: I survived and I lived. The trauma from having lost

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Speaker 1: a baby before and after caused her to cling to

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Speaker 1: me in a way that most mothers wouldn't cling to

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Speaker 1: a child. Because she now discovers the vulnerability that there

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Speaker 1: can be sudden change, and that sudden change creates sudden

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Speaker 1: anxiety and a deeper appreciation, and a fretfulness and sometimes

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Speaker 1: a worry as to what do I need to do

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Speaker 1: to make sure that everything turns out all right? It

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Speaker 1: causes us to need help with things. It caused her

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Speaker 1: to need help with things. It caused her to handle

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Speaker 1: me differently because all of a sudden, her vulnerability has

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Speaker 1: been pierced by the death of the first child named Marionette.

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Speaker 1: And now she's holding on to me for dear life,

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Speaker 1: and the child after me is lost and holding on

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Speaker 1: to it. What are you holding on to just because

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Speaker 1: you're afraid of los it because you've had losses in

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Speaker 1: the past. And how does that affect how you deal

300
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 1: with circumstances situations? How does it affect how you handle people?

301
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 1: How does it affect how you handle relationships? How does

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00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: it affect how you date? How does it affect how

303
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 1: you interact with staff? How does it affect you on

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00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,359
Speaker 1: the inside, not just when you're at work, but when

305
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 1: you lay down at night, when you're driving to work.

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00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 1: How many scores is the body keeping as you're dealing

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Speaker 1: with these ghosts that are gone but not gone, these

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00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,199
Speaker 1: feelings that are there but not there, This anxiety that

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Speaker 1: exists in your life and nobody can see it, and

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00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 1: nobody knows it, and we don't talk about it, and

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00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: yet we have to deal with the effects of it

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00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: because we all have sudden changes. Sudden changes just come

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Speaker 1: without warning. It doesn't ring the doorbell, it doesn't walk

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Speaker 1: up the steps, It doesn't need itself up to you.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't walk its way up to you. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: You just look up and it's standing in your living

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Speaker 1: room and you're in a crisis, or the house burned down,

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Speaker 1: or you're in a flood or the fires in California,

319
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: or you're in a crisis, and everybody's moved to the roof.

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Speaker 1: Sudden changes come into your life in the loss of

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Speaker 1: a child or the loss of a loved one, or

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Speaker 1: the loss of a spouse, or the loss of an opportunity,

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden you're holding on to whatever

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Speaker 1: you can find to hold on to. In her case,

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00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 1: it was me, and she was holding on to me

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Speaker 1: for dear life because of the child she lost before

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Speaker 1: and the child she lost afterwards. What have you lost instead?

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00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 1: Of just telling me what you have gained, Let's start

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00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 1: thinking about what you have lost and the impact of

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Speaker 1: that loss on what you have left, and how it

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Speaker 1: changes how you value, how you handle, how you deal with,

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Speaker 1: how you portray, how you connect, how you appreciate what

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Speaker 1: you have left. Because I guarantee you, if you go bankrupt,

334
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: it's going to affect how you handle money. If you

335
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: lose your car, it's going to affect how you handle

336
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: your car payments. If you lose your house, it's going

337
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: to affect your willingness to even try to get another

338
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: mortgage to get up on your feet again. All of

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00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: these decisions are altered and moving and spasting because there's

340
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: been a sudden change, and there's been a shattering of

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00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,439
Speaker 1: how you do things. There's been a breaking away of

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00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 1: how you do things, and all of a sudden you

343
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 1: may need to stop a while and find your center,

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00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: to begin to center yourself and calm yourself and gradually

345
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: let the message soak into your heart and into your spirit.

346
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Speaker 1: I'm going to be okay in spite of the change.

347
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: When you know that you're going to be okay in

348
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Speaker 1: spite of the change, it changes your reflex, your confidence,

349
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: your stability, your maturity, your wisdom begins to develop, and

350
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you begin to understand that life

351
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Speaker 1: is not a certainty. It's not guaranteed that everything is

352
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Speaker 1: going to fall into place all the time order for

353
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 1: it to be. It's not guaranteed that everything is going

354
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 1: to fall into place as you had imagined it. When

355
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: I was about ten years old, about nineteen sixty seven,

356
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: I found out my father had kidney failure. Now, my

357
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: father was the Hulk. He was the houg He could

358
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 1: have played the Hulk in the movie. Big, broad shoulders,

359
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:23,439
Speaker 1: big chest, chested, barreling chest, biceps, triceps, He was huge,

360
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 1: hunk of a man. I literally have seen my father

361
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Speaker 1: pick up the backhand of a car and said it

362
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Speaker 1: on the road.

363
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Speaker 2: He was a he man.

364
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Speaker 1: He was all of that. He was strong, and all

365
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: of a sudden, my father gets kidney failure. He didn't

366
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Speaker 1: know that his high pretension was out of control. He

367
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: didn't go to the doctor like he should. He didn't

368
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: take care of himself, and he lost not just his kidneys,

369
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Speaker 1: he lost his normal. And anytime you lose your normal,

370
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: there's gonna be peripheral damage that breaks out in your life.

371
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 1: Because we so desperately need certainty and it is so

372
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: hard to find because certainty. In order to have absolute certainty,

373
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 1: you have to be able to control not only yourself,

374
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: but the behavior of others, the weather, the circumstances, the economy.

375
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: There's so many things to handle that you have to

376
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 1: stop and say, wait a minute. I can't handle all

377
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: of that. I can only handle how I react to it.

378
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you something. As a son, at about

379
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: ten years old, I did not react very well to

380
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: my superhero having kidney failure, and I had to learn

381
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: how to run a kidney machine while my friends were

382
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: learning how to ride a bicycle. By the time I

383
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 1: was sixteen years old, my father was dead, and that

384
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 1: was a sudden change. It is grief for him, absolutely,

385
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 1: but it was also grief for me, and I am

386
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 1: wondering if my life will ever be the same. I

387
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: am grieving over the questions I didn't get answered. I'm

388
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: grieving over the the relationships. We didn't get to have,

389
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 1: the games, we didn't get to go to the concerts.

390
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: He didn't get to attend the thoughts and father son

391
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: conversations that I hope that we would have. Now they

392
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 1: are going down into the grave with his casket, and

393
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: we're not just burying him, We're bearing everything.

394
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 2: I had in mind.

395
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: It was things like this that led to my mother

396
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 1: having Alzheimer's. School teacher ended up the Equal Employment Opportunities

397
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 1: representative for the state of West Virginia, ended up walking

398
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 1: down the street looking for a car she left in

399
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 1: the parking lot and forgotten where it was. First we

400
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: passed it, all we played it. Awfu was simple. She

401
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: had other things on her mind, and then it became

402
00:25:55,240 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 1: so obvious that we could not ignore it. Her body

403
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: kept score. One of fourteen other siblings, raised in Alabama

404
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: with an uncle that had run for his life to

405
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: flee being killed in the night, did all kinds of

406
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: school work that started when she was four years old,

407
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: and graduated from high school at fifteen, went on to

408
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 1: college at Tuskegee and did four years of college in

409
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 1: three with two majors. She had been amazing and done

410
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 1: amazing things, and did her student teaching, and traveled around

411
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: the world, been to Germany, did all kinds of wonderful things.

412
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: But all the while she was doing them, her body

413
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 1: was keeping schore. She had five children, three of them lived.

414
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 1: She survived that she endured it, but her body was

415
00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: keeping score. Her husband had kidney failure, and she drove

416
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 1: him twice a week back and forth to Cleveland, about

417
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: five hours away, and still kept her job and kept

418
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: everything going at the same time. And she did it

419
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: like batwoman, She did it like superwoman. She did it

420
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: like she had roller skates on her feet. She did it,

421
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 1: but her body was keeping score. And the score was

422
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: written in Alzheimer's and the Alzheimer's was written in the

423
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: audacity of the loss of memory, of a mind so

424
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: massive and a heart so broken that little by little

425
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: she started to fade away. I don't know what your

426
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: story is, and I don't know what you've been through,

427
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you've experienced loss in your life,

428
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,199
Speaker 1: But if you live long enough, you will experience some

429
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: loss in your life. When you experience that loss in

430
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 1: your life, how you manage it, how you respond to it,

431
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: and for God's sake, don't bury it and try to

432
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: act like you're okay, and try to be the hero

433
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: for everybody, and put on your cape and your boots

434
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 1: and run out there and stand out on the roof

435
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 1: and see if you can fly, because you can't fly.

436
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 1: You're not Superman after all. You have to stop and

437
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 1: deal with it and confront it and face it and

438
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: feel it and heal it so that you can be

439
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: the person that you need to be because you never

440
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:34,679
Speaker 1: saw this coming. Is there anybody who's listening at me

441
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: right now who's dealing with something that was so traumatic,

442
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: so painful, so difficult, so overwhelming, so vulnerable that it

443
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 1: has hit you in such a way that you are

444
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 1: not sure of yourself or your environment, or your friends

445
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: or your people, and you are not sure that you

446
00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: will ever be the same again. The reason I'm talking

447
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: to you through this podcast is to navigate you through

448
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: the current and the trouble water that it fluctuates in

449
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: our lives. And we find ourselves in situations that we

450
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: can't easily talk about or don't even have the language

451
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: to articulate because we are feeling with sudden changes. People

452
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: ask you how are you doing today, and you say fine,

453
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: because you know they don't really want to hear how

454
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: you are really doing today. You know it's too complicated

455
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: for them, you know it's too difficult for them, and

456
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: so you just say to them, I'm fine, but deep

457
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: down inside you're not okay. So through ministry, through podcasts,

458
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: through books, through counseling, through therapy, and a myriad of

459
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: other things, support, friends, somebody you can trust in your life,

460
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: you begin to work your way toward normal. You begin

461
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: to get yourself to a place that you are not

462
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: spastic on the floor. If you don't do that, you'll

463
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 1: be spastic in the bottom of of a liquor bottle.

464
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: You'll be spastic in the bottom of a drugs case.

465
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: You'll be spastic in the bottom of some forbidden, self

466
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: destructive habit that you are doing to anesthetize the pain

467
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: that you won't deal with. Because, as the doctor said

468
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: so clearly, the body always keeps score, not always the mind,

469
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: not always the emotions. Just because you got emotionally better

470
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you got physically better. Doesn't mean that the

471
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: cortison is gone down and the swelling has left, and

472
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: your joints are back to normal. And after a while,

473
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 1: what started out on your heart ends up in your

474
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: heart and affects your body and affects your knees, and

475
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, what started out as a small

476
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: thing confined to a small, relatively small space in your

477
00:30:55,400 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: thought life is affecting every area of or life. Today

478
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: we're talking about sudden changes. Have you had any. By

479
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: the time I had gotten a little older, I had

480
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: opened a small church in a storefront. I started out

481
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: with only seven members. I think that God had given

482
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: me an opportunity to help other people. But here's the secret.

483
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: Most people who are in the business of helping other

484
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: people start out with helping themselves, and with the overflow

485
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: of the current of ministering, healing, counseling themselves, they begin

486
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: to look for answers for other people. It is the

487
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: trauma that starts in the life of the counselor and

488
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: the physician that causes them to persevere through the classes

489
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: and take the courses and ask the right questions and

490
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: have the passion on the inside to make sure that

491
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: things get better, to make sure that things are acclimated

492
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: in such a way, to make sure that somebody cares

493
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: for them. Because every time you care for someone who

494
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: is shattered, you are caring for yourself. You have to

495
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 1: have gone through some things. I started out in a

496
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: little church with only seven members, but that didn't bother me.

497
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to be big. I was trying to

498
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: be better. I was trying to be there for other

499
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: people going through things like I had gone through, so

500
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: that I could help them to deal with sudden changes.

501
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: It wasn't just the change of having a storefront church.

502
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: I had nothing to compare it with only seven members.

503
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: Before that, I had none. What the real problem was is,

504
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: little by little, it was eating into the finances I

505
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 1: was making working on another job. I was pouring everything

506
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: into the church. So the lights went out and the

507
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 1: phone went out, and I was on a downward trajectory

508
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: to nothingness and not sure if I could get back

509
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: up again. I remember catching the bus and getting on

510
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: the bus and saying to myself, I'm going downtown to

511
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: Big Appalachian Park Company not to cut my power off.

512
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 1: And they smiled and said, we're sorry, there's nothing we

513
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: can do for you. And I walked out of the

514
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 1: store with visible tears running down my face because I

515
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: was at my wits end. If I'm talking to somebody

516
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: today who's ever been in that situation, whether it was

517
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 1: for a high dollar amount or a low dollar amount,

518
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: and you've gotten to the breaking point, and you're standing

519
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: on the edge of a cliff and you are starting

520
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 1: to wonder if you will ever be well, and what

521
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: do you say to your wife when you get home,

522
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: and how do you bring your kids into the house.

523
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 1: We came home with the children and the house was dark,

524
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: and we decided to play a game who could get

525
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 1: to the bed first without stumping their toe. We didn't

526
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: want them to know that the power was off, so

527
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: we turned it into a game. But while they giggled

528
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: in their bed, we worried in Orange because we were

529
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 1: dealing with a sudden change. That as long as I

530
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: had my job before the plant had shut down, I

531
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: was in pretty good shape. They didn't want us they

532
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: we're about to shut down. They didn't want us that

533
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: we were in the middle of a paradigm shift. They

534
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: didn't tell us that the industry age was giving away

535
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: to the information age and that the plants all over

536
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: West Virginia were shutting down. No, they didn't go into

537
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: that kind of detail. They told us you were laid off,

538
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 1: and the whole world shook up under my feet. You

539
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 1: have to understand that I am encouraging my little seven members,

540
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 1: while deep down inside I was discouraged myself. And the

541
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: body always keep score. Years later, I made the decision

542
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: while the crazy, the tempestuous decision to leave what was

543
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: already a difficult situation and starting to get better. It

544
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: was starting to get better, It was starting to improve,

545
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 1: it was starting to change. I moved to Dallas, Texas

546
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: with fifty families to start what would become the Potter's

547
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: House that ended up with thirty thousand members, which was

548
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: mind boggling.

549
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 2: And now I'm stressed.

550
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: The other way. I know what it is to be

551
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 1: stressed for not having enough. I know what it is

552
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: to be stressed at a funeral. I know what it

553
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 1: is to be stressed at a graveside. I know what

554
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: it is to be stressed dealing with bills. I know

555
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: what it is to be stressed with not enough. But

556
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: now I'm stressed with too much. And suddenly I realized

557
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: stress doesn't always mean Anxiety doesn't always come from nervousness,

558
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: doesn't always come from things going bad. It can also

559
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: come from things going right. The fear that it won't last,

560
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: the fear that you're not good enough, the fear that

561
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 1: you can't handle it, the fear of imposter syndrome. I'm

562
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: not sure it's not worse than the fear of losing.

563
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: The fear that comes with gain mean also makes you

564
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: doubt yourself, makes you wonder do you belong in the

565
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: room you just got in, and all of a sudden

566
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 1: you're dealing with sudden change. One moment, I'm in a

567
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 1: food line, one moment, I'm getting stamps, one moment we're

568
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: getting wick, and the next moment I'm exploding with people

569
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: and books and movies and films and doing all of

570
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: these amazing things. But it really didn't feel as good

571
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: as I thought it would feel, because success doesn't feel

572
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: like you think success would feel like, not when it

573
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 1: comes on the back of anxiety and the back of losing,

574
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:46,919
Speaker 1: and the back of wondering will this last. And that's

575
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: not just to fool about a job or a vocation.

576
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:54,359
Speaker 1: It's true about a relationship. After several failed relationships, you

577
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: enter into the new relationship, maybe one foot at a time,

578
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,720
Speaker 1: holding back a little bit of yourself because you wonder

579
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: will this last. You meet a new friend. You've got

580
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: a friendship and you're starting to confide in each other

581
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: and talk to each other, but you wonder will this last.

582
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: There's as much anxiety to the far North as there

583
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: is to the far South, there's an anxiety of wondering

584
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 1: do I have what it takes to deal with what

585
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 1: I got to deal with, And then to have fifty

586
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: families counting on you on top of your own family

587
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: counting on you. We are weighted down not only by

588
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 1: the pressure that we place on ourselves, but the pressure

589
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 1: of those who believe in us. Though it is well intentioned,

590
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 1: can also create great anxiety because suddenly they're counting on

591
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: you to make something happen that you talk real big about,

592
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 1: but you're not sure that you can actually make it happen.

593
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 1: And if you don't make it happen, not only do

594
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: you endanger your family In my case, I endangered fifty

595
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: other families in the process. So good is not as

596
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: good as you thought it was. The great it's not

597
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 1: as great a feeling as she thought it would be.

598
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 1: And managing resources is not as wonderful as you thought

599
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: it would be because you had pierced the veil of

600
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: understanding that this could all go away. And what do

601
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: I do if the change that's good makes another change

602
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: that's bad. What do you do when fall turns to winter?

603
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: What do you do when sunshine turns to rain? What

604
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: do you do if pleasure turns to pain? What do

605
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 1: you do if everything that you have dreamed of turns

606
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: into a nightmare and you have to start all over again.

607
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 1: These are the feelings and the anxieties and the proclivities

608
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: that exist in people who are dealing with sudden changes,

609
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: and how do you cope with those sudden changes? I

610
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: believe in number one, you have to have dare devil

611
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 1: friends who surround yourself with people who are used to

612
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: living on the edge, who understand that it's okay to

613
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 1: be on the edge, that just because you're on the

614
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: edge doesn't mean that you've fallen off the cliff. You

615
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 1: got to be with risk takers. You got to be

616
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: with people who have experienced at taking a chance. Don't

617
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: get around a bunch of people who are naysayers and

618
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: doubters and fearful, because if whatever you feed will live,

619
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: you need to be around people that are feeding you

620
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: with ideas and faith and feeding you with the reality

621
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 1: that it's okay to make a mistake, and it's okay

622
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 1: for things to drop, and it's okay for things to fluctuate.

623
00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 1: If the stock market fluctuates, if the government fluctuates, if

624
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: relationship fluctuates. Whatever you're building is going to fluctuate, but

625
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: do not allow the fluctuate to indicate to you that

626
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: you have suddenly lost what you had. Just because you

627
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: hit a bump in the road doesn't mean that the

628
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 1: car has stopped. When the brain encounter sudden unfamiliar changes,

629
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: such as a traumatic event, shocking news, or a major disruption,

630
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 1: it has to figure out it works to figure out

631
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: how to solve the problem. Our brains are the first

632
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: computer hard drive computers that were ever invented by God

633
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 1: to kind of figure out how to work this out

634
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: and how to resolve it. And it is so desperate

635
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: to fix it that if it cannot find an answer

636
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 1: to the problem, it will create an illusion to give

637
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: you a false answer rather than to leave you with

638
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: a blank page. Here's a breakdown on how the brain

639
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 1: and the body react. We keep trying to separate them

640
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: like they're two different species, like they don't go together,

641
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 1: like they're Laurel and Hearty, But know they are inexplicably

642
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,240
Speaker 1: connected one to the other, and what affects one affects

643
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 1: the other. If the body is not well, it will

644
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 1: eventually affect the brain. And if the brain is not well,

645
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: it will affect the body. The perception of threat begins

646
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: to affect your sensory input downloading information. Your whole body tendses,

647
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 1: your palms begin to sweat, your breathing changes because of

648
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 1: the perception of threat. Not the attack of threat, but

649
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 1: the perception, the very idea of it, the very fear

650
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: of it, the very feel of the possibility that you

651
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 1: may not make it out of this, That something is

652
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: lurking over your head and over your mind and over

653
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: your spirit, like a cloud or dark cloud that's following

654
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: you down the highway. That is the perception of threat

655
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: that moves from your brain down into your body, and

656
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 1: you can exactly see it, but you can feel it,

657
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: and the feeling is so strong that it won't stay

658
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 1: in your head. It ignites the fight or fight action

659
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 1: down inside of all of us. The sympathetic nervous system

660
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,240
Speaker 1: that responds to the circumstance to get ready for something

661
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: you weren't ready for, to give you the adrenaline that's

662
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 1: necessary for you to be able to do what you

663
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 1: need to do, to give you the hormonal flood that

664
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: has been on reserve in your body, the HPA access

665
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 1: activation that has been on a whole waiting for such

666
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: a time as this. Oh, yes, you turn into somebody else.

667
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,280
Speaker 1: You turn into somebody that you have never seen before.

668
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: You turn into somebody that your family doesn't know you

669
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: could turn into. Because you are at war. Even though

670
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 1: you do not always see the enemy that you are

671
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:53,400
Speaker 1: at war against, your mind, your brain, your mentality all

672
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: announces to you that you are going through a cognitive

673
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: explosion and impact. Your prefrontal cortex tells you something is

674
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: up and you've got to do something about it, and

675
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: you've got to find a way to return to a baseline,

676
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 1: to a calmplace, to a pair of sympathetic nervous system

677
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: that lines out differently than it does under war, under conflict,

678
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: under absurdity. In summary, sudden unfamiliar changes trigger a cascade

679
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: of survival mechanisms in the brain. Because we were made

680
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: to survive. We were created to endure, We were created

681
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 1: to adapt. We were created to adapt climate changes, weather changes,

682
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 1: circumstantial changes. We were created to survive. Just like the

683
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: monkeys that I ran into on the rock of Gibraltar,

684
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: and we got on the top of the mountain and

685
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 1: we noticed that there were monkeys everywhere, all on the

686
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: cars and jumping from window to window to window. But

687
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 1: the strange thing we didn't notice at first is that

688
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:12,319
Speaker 1: the monkeys were born without tails. The God began to

689
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,399
Speaker 1: tell us that when the monkeys first came to the mountaintop,

690
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: they were born with tails, but when the mountaintop turned

691
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 1: to ice and it got cold, their tail was the

692
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:25,879
Speaker 1: first thing to freeze. And eventually, after several generations, they

693
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: started being born without the tail because they had frozen

694
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 1: their tail off. If the monkey could adapt to the

695
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: ice and the coal and still survive and still have

696
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 1: children and still have offsprings, you can survive whatever you

697
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: are facing right now. You're a migdal of sounds, the

698
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 1: alarm to yourself that says, do not go down without

699
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: a fight. You are Adrenaline gets somebody ready to act, to move,

700
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 1: to do whatever it's got to do. You get strength

701
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: you didn't know you had. You got energy that you

702
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: never experienced at other times and other moments in your life.

703
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: Your quarters all help sustain alertness so that you are

704
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: listening better, looking better, gazing further, a more attentive, more

705
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: alert to what's going on around you because you are aware,

706
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: like a deer walking through the forest, and all of

707
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 1: a sudden it senses or smells a lion, and all

708
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: of a sudden it looks up, and it starts looking

709
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 1: all around because its alertness has been alerted to the

710
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 1: fact that there is danger nearby. And an entirely different

711
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: reaction takes over the animal, and it drops down into

712
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: a position of movement, a fight or flight, getting ready

713
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: to move because it knows it is in the presence

714
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 1: of danger. And we live and work and breathe and

715
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 1: function in the presence of danger. We move in the

716
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 1: presence of danger. We give birth in the presence of danger.

717
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 1: We raise our children in the presence of danger. We

718
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 1: start businesses in the presence of danger. We teach class

719
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 1: in the presence of danger. The fear of rejection, the

720
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: fear of isolation, the fear of losing the job, the

721
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: fear of going bankrupt, the fear of losing the opportunity,

722
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: the fear of being laughed that we do it all

723
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: in front of all of these spectators. Oh, we don't

724
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: do it at all. And we sit back and say,

725
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: I would have, I could have, I should have, I

726
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 1: ought to have done I didn't do it. Thank God,

727
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 1: we have the aid of our prefrontal cortex. Our activity drops,

728
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 1: making thoughtful decisions harder, and all of a sudden, we

729
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 1: have to begin to try to neutralize ourselves and bring

730
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: back balance. Balance is the thing that we need. Eventually,

731
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: the brain works to re established balance and the best

732
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 1: of circumstances, we calm down. Our breathing goes down, our

733
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: pulse rate goes down, our blood pressure goes down, our

734
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 1: mind begins to function more normally, so that we are

735
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: prepared to make more sound and absolute and powerful and

736
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 1: forceful and impactful decisions because we have dealt with the

737
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: chronic circumstances in such a way that we realize that

738
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: if the circumstance does not change, I will change for

739
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: the circumstance. But I refuse to let the circumstance change me,

740
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: because if it changes me, it can lead to anxiety,

741
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 1: memory issues, burnout, depression, dis ease. It doesn't really hit

742
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,760
Speaker 1: you till you say it slow. If you say disease,

743
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,839
Speaker 1: you don't get it. But if you slow it down

744
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: and say dis ease, you realize that the root of

745
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 1: every disease is dis ease. Doctor Bessel van der Cooke

746
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: wrote a book worth reading, The Body keeps score, not

747
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 1: just the mind, but the body keeps scoring. I want

748
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 1: to show you what I mean when I say that

749
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: you feel it in your mind, but you experience it

750
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 1: in your body as well. And even though you escaped it,

751
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 1: even though you survived, and even though you went to

752
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: work tomorrow, and even though you smiled at people, and

753
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 1: even though you got the kids lunch ready, that doesn't

754
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: mean you're okay. Because the body keeps score. And the

755
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,720
Speaker 1: fact that the body keeps score, Bethel van der Koork

756
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: says to us, the body keeping score doesn't mean that

757
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 1: you're okay. It's just storing it in your joints and yourselves,

758
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, you're experiencing swelling in your

759
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 1: journks and your organ and your body from all of

760
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 1: that cortosol that's been collected on the inside that you

761
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: have suppressed. So suppressing how you feel is not healing

762
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: how you feel because you have had a sudden change.

763
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 1: And anytime you have a sudden change, it leaves you

764
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 1: in a turmoil where you're trying to figure out, what

765
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: do I need to do to fix, to adjust, to

766
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 1: straighten things out, to get things together. Because we have

767
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 1: a tendency to think that we always need to do

768
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 1: something and that if we do the right thing, the

769
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,839
Speaker 1: right thing will happen. But you can do the right thing,

770
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: and that doesn't guarantee that the right thing will happen,

771
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: because there are all these other variables going on around us.

772
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 1: We can steer the ship perfectly, but we cannot control

773
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: the storm that the ship has to sail in, and

774
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 1: we have to deal with all of that. And if

775
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: we don't deal with it, Doctor van der Kolk is

776
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: absolutely right. The body does keep score. You may not

777
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: look at the score. You may not pay attention to it.

778
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 1: You may ignore it. You may choose to act as

779
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: if you don't see it. You may act like it's

780
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 1: not important and that it doesn't matter. But the body,

781
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 1: it keeps goore. It clocks the arteries and the veins,

782
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: It swells the joints and the tissues. It leads to

783
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: diseases like Alzheimer's. It affects you in ways that are unimaginable.

784
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 1: And it is a collection of all the things you

785
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: didn't get back into balance and get rid of. Work

786
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: it out, run it out, talk it out, pray it out,

787
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 1: whatever you got to do to get it out. You've

788
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 1: got to get it out because all that stays around

789
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: inside of you and lingers is keeping score, and the

790
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: score will eventually come back and meet you at the

791
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: worst possible time in your life, and you won't be

792
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: ready for what is about to happen. So there you

793
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: are in a situation with no one to tell. Your

794
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 1: lips are sealed, your eyes are closed. It's three o'clock

795
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: in the morning, and everybody's sleep but you. Because if

796
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 1: you're like me, one of the first things to pass

797
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: away is sleep. Sleep passes away when you have no

798
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 1: plan for tomorrow. Sleep passes away when you're not sure

799
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 1: that the plan you have.

800
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:23,359
Speaker 2: Will work.

801
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,760
Speaker 1: Sleep passes away when you find yourself in a dilemma

802
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 1: of a lifetime and no one to even talk to

803
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: about it. Because you must feel You must appear brave,

804
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 1: you must appear absolutely, you must appear certain, and you

805
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 1: can't let people know that you are overwhelmed. Sleep begins

806
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 1: to dissipate. Indigestion is affected, how your body digests food,

807
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 1: how you perceive and hear people, how you snape at

808
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 1: the dog and yell at the cat, And find yourself

809
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 1: in a situation that you are out of character. On

810
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 1: this very step, I endured my first and hopefully only

811
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: massive heart attack, out of nowhere, out of the blue.

812
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what it was. I can't even

813
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 1: describe it to you fully what it was. All I

814
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: know is that I was sitting in that very chair

815
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: right there. My body was, but everything else in me

816
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 1: was in a quiet place. I was wrapped in a

817
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 1: cocoon of grace and kindness and quietness and peace and tranquility.

818
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 1: I was safe in the arms of my creator while

819
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:48,760
Speaker 1: my body was slumped over in the chair. You talking

820
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 1: about change. The reason I want to talk about my

821
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 1: next chapter, and the reason I want to talk about

822
00:52:56,920 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 1: sudden changes is often your next is in the urgency

823
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:07,800
Speaker 1: of now something you didn't see coming, something you weren't

824
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 1: prayed for, something you didn't take a class in, something

825
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 1: that you didn't hear anybody lecture on, and boom, there

826
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: it is. And you either let it break you or

827
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 1: you stand up to it and break it. And by

828
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 1: the grace of God and the prayers of people and

829
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 1: the technology that was around me, I went home with

830
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 1: a band aid on my wrists and nothing more. And

831
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 1: you can survive to every sudden change that comes in

832
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 1: your life, good or bad, up or down, right or wrong,

833
00:53:56,080 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 1: north or south. You can survive every chance that comes

834
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 1: in your life if you have the agility, the adaptable

835
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:15,320
Speaker 1: agility to stop being so stubborn and saying I gotta

836
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 1: be mean no matter what. That's not true. The monkeys

837
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 1: changed on the mountain tops, the cave men changed in

838
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:28,800
Speaker 1: the cave. The people that were raised in the African deserts,

839
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 1: they changed to fit the climate they were in. People

840
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: change all the time with wheelchairs and one arm and

841
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: no arms and no legs. Don't stand there and tell

842
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 1: me you gotta be who you gotta be.

843
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 2: No, no, no.

844
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 1: If you need to adapt to survive, then adapt adaptability

845
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 1: is refusing to lose your inner sanctuary because of your

846
00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 1: outer circumstances. Adaptability means I may have to go about

847
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: it differently, but go about it I will, I can,

848
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 1: and I must. As I talk to you today, I

849
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,720
Speaker 1: talk to you from the perspective of my next chapter.

850
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 1: I want you to go after your next chapter. I

851
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 1: want you to build what you're trying to build, and

852
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:22,879
Speaker 1: do what you're trying to do, and collaborate and coordinate

853
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 1: and illustrate and demonstrate and do all the amazing things

854
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: that you were meant to do, but be careful. Be

855
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 1: careful because in the process of doing all of that,

856
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 1: there will be sudden changes, and your schedule will become

857
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: so hectic that you're taking care of everybody else but you,

858
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 1: and you'll look around and there are no gauges to

859
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 1: tell you that your gas is low, that your oil

860
00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 1: is dry, that your power is too many until it

861
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: is too late. You must listen carefully at your body

862
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 1: because the doctor was right. Oh yeah, he was right.

863
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:19,240
Speaker 1: The body always keeps scoring. And no matter how bright

864
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: you are, rich you are poor you are, or beautiful

865
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 1: or smart, or how much hair you have, or how

866
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 1: much giftings you have, it's still keeping score. So how

867
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 1: do I release it? I'm glad you asked. There's a

868
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: lot of ways to release it, and you've got to

869
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: use them all, whether it's exercise or reading or crossword

870
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 1: puzzles or puzzles for the head or puzzles for the body.

871
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:52,800
Speaker 1: To understand that the pain is not isolated to your brain,

872
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 1: that it gets down in your body, and if you

873
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 1: can get it out of your body, it will flood

874
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 1: out of you. While you're on the trie meal. It'll

875
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: flood out of you while you're moving your feet, it

876
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 1: will flood out of you while you're in the swimming pool.

877
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:09,280
Speaker 1: That you have got to make sure that your body

878
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:13,319
Speaker 1: is as active as your pain, that your body is

879
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 1: as active as the demands that come on your life.

880
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 2: That you are.

881
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 1: Eating the kinds of food that nourishes you for all

882
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:24,120
Speaker 1: the things you have to deal with day after day

883
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 1: and moment after moment, that you are eating the kinds

884
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 1: of food that replenish the body, replenish the soul, change

885
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: your mood, and change your attitude. Did you know that

886
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 1: your diet can change your attitude? That you have at

887
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: least a few friends in your life with whom you

888
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: do not have to pretend or impress, that you can

889
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 1: openly share your frustrations and aggravation and they will think

890
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: no less of you when it's over than they did

891
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 1: when it started. That that's one of the ways that

892
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 1: you can begin to cure and heal yourself. That you

893
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 1: can count your blessings and not your burdens and rehearsing yourself.

894
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 2: It's amazing to me.

895
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 1: How loud your burdens scream, and how your blessings whisper,

896
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:17,240
Speaker 1: make your blessing scream so loud until you cannot hear

897
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 1: the burdens beneath them, and little by little you will silence, silence,

898
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 1: silence everything that you lay down with every night. Take

899
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: the last few hours, finally, and use the last few

900
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:37,760
Speaker 1: hours before you go to bed to clear your head,

901
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 1: or write down your plans, or set aside your agenda,

902
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 1: or do like I do and listen at comedy and

903
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 1: make yourself laugh yourself to sleep so that you don't

904
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:56,400
Speaker 1: go to bed in fight mod, in fight mode, in

905
00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 1: flight mode, in fear mode, stress mode, that you begin

906
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 1: to understand that sudden change doesn't have to be sudden death,

907
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 1: that the loss of a loved one doesn't mean that

908
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:16,920
Speaker 1: you have to lose yourself, That you can be sad

909
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 1: and grieve and be unhappy and shed tears and still

910
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: wipe your face and pick up your briefcase and do

911
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 1: what you've got to do. That you can have moments

912
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:34,600
Speaker 1: of great triumph and great tragedy, and that you don't

913
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 1: have to walk away from your triumph because you're guilty

914
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: over your tragedy. That you can use what works to

915
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 1: strengthen what doesn't work. Changes will come and changes will go.

916
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 1: Trouble will come and trouble will go. Hard times will come,

917
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 1: and hard times will go. The only thing that remains

918
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:08,439
Speaker 1: is tough people. Tough doesn't mean that you didn't cry.

919
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 1: Tough doesn't mean that you don't get frustrated. Tough doesn't

920
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: mean that you have the answer to every question. Tough

921
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: means that you will not allow the things around you

922
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: to change the things within you. Tough means I demand

923
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 1: that I remain a loving person even when people have

924
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 1: not been lovely toward me. Strong means that I'm able

925
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 1: to resist the temptation to get down on your level

926
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 1: in order to fight you off For me. It means

927
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 1: that I have the power to resist the temptation to

928
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 1: turn into funt you don't want me to be, just

929
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 1: to prove to you that I can fight on your level.

930
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:58,680
Speaker 1: It means that I'm strong enough to maintain my dignity

931
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 1: while you throw agony all in front of me, and

932
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:08,640
Speaker 1: I'll still stand though the wind blows and the lightning

933
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 1: flashes and the thunder rolls. I'll still stand until the

934
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 1: changes cease, and the wind calms down, and the billows

935
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 1: stop rolling and the waves dissipate. I'll still be standing

936
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 1: on this boat. Oh yes, we'll I'll rock this boat.

937
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 1: I'll still be standing contributing to my generation in one

938
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 1: form or another. I'll still be standing as me because

939
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 1: sudden changes.

940
01:01:58,560 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 2: Will not.

941
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:01,440
Speaker 1: Will not.

942
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 2: Change me.

943
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 1: If I could get into a time machine and go

944
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 1: back through some space module and turn back the hands

945
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 1: of time, and go and talk to that little boy

946
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:19,360
Speaker 1: who wondered if he would ever be anything other than

947
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:25,640
Speaker 1: worried and intimidated and stressed out and afraid and feeling

948
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: like he was an impostor, and that he would never

949
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 1: achieve anything. If I could go back and talk to

950
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 1: him and tell him that he would travel around the

951
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 1: world and sit with princes and kings and presidents. If

952
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 1: I could go back and tell him that he would

953
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: stand in the gateway of opportunities that few men and

954
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,520
Speaker 1: or black men have ever stood in in all of

955
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 1: their lives. If I could go back and tell him

956
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:57,800
Speaker 1: that he would speak at some of the largest conferences

957
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 1: in the world, that he would speak to me millions

958
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 1: of people, that he would do it with his knees

959
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 1: knock it, that he would do it with his knees

960
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:11,040
Speaker 1: shaking up against each other, that he would do it scared,

961
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,320
Speaker 1: but he would do it, that he would be afrid

962
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:16,080
Speaker 1: and still do it. If I could just go back

963
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 1: and tell that little boy that he had something, that

964
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 1: he was worth, something that he could be, something that

965
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,439
Speaker 1: he could do, something that he could reach, something, If

966
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: I could go back in time, I would tell him

967
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: who he was. Because a acorn doesn't look like an

968
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:40,120
Speaker 1: oak tree, and an apple seed doesn't look like an apple,

969
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 1: and an orange seed doesn't look like an orange, and

970
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 1: a watermelon seed does not look like a watermelon. Do

971
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:51,919
Speaker 1: not judge in seed form what only time will take

972
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 1: to produce the fruit of what you really are. That's

973
01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:01,520
Speaker 1: what I would tell that young man.

974
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 6: Hey, everybody, I want to take this time to thank

975
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 6: you for watching the Next Chapter podcast. If this conversation

976
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:16,080
Speaker 6: inspired you, helped you reflect on an idea, or spark

977
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 6: something new inside of you, make sure to like, comment,

978
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 6: and subscribe so you don't miss future episodes. Remember, life

979
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 6: isn't about how you begin, it's about how you finished strong,

980
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:37,080
Speaker 6: So start your next chapter with us right here.

981
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 2: Every week