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Speaker 1: I don't care if you're baby six feet in the dirt,

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Speaker 1: leave me alone.

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Speaker 2: God, that seems a little bit extreme, especially for a

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Speaker 2: small little child.

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Speaker 1: You know, just a smidgeon, you know.

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Speaker 2: I mean they talk about like how you know, have

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Speaker 2: you ever heard like that back to the earth kind

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Speaker 2: of thing for children where it's like, oh, like all

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Speaker 2: these kids, they're all on their computers and their houses.

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Speaker 2: You gotta get them in the dirt, you know, have

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Speaker 2: them really play in the mud. I don't think this

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Speaker 2: is what they mean.

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Speaker 1: This is this is not what they were talking about.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it does accomplish the same thing.

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Speaker 1: You know. I mean, they're both in the dirt.

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Speaker 2: They're both in the dirt, So iPads anymore.

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Speaker 1: I like how, I like how our podcast has slowly

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Speaker 1: just evolved to dead baby jokes. And this is just

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Speaker 1: this is just where we're at, guys. This is it all.

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Speaker 1: It all comes back to dead baby jokes. It all

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Speaker 1: comes back. Yeah, it all comes back.

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Speaker 2: It's the source of all good things. That's hey, stem cells,

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Speaker 2: stem cells.

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Speaker 1: That one took me a second. Me and my sister

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Speaker 1: in law, Daisy, have been friends since high school fifteen

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Speaker 1: years ago. Old. Just kidding, just kidding, wow'd you? Why'd

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Speaker 1: you bust bust the casket door open to write this story?

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Speaker 2: God? One foot in the grave?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Put you won't put you six feet.

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Speaker 2: In the dirt. Yeah, you're about to be there, bury

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Speaker 2: it with your baby.

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Speaker 1: I started dating her brother Dan when we were all

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Speaker 1: in college. Oh wow, some cross family pollination. I see you.

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Speaker 1: Daisy married her husband, Matt, sometime after I'm married Dan,

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Speaker 1: ten years ago. So op's not just best friends, like

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Speaker 1: this is a dating a brother marrying the brother. Super

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Speaker 1: best friends, super best friend. Matt and Daisy wanted a

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Speaker 1: baby and started trying right after they got married, but

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Speaker 1: they were having a lot of trouble.

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Speaker 2: Right really quick. If you love your friends so much

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Speaker 2: that you end up hooking up with their sibling, does

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Speaker 2: that mean that you really just want to hook up

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Speaker 2: with your friend?

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Speaker 1: They share the same DNA? Am I wrong?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What what am I wrong? What? What's the difference between them?

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Speaker 1: They have the same DNA encod There's no difference. There's

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Speaker 1: literally no difference. You know, you just you know, swapped

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Speaker 1: through genders of constructs. It is, it is just flip

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Speaker 1: a coin. There's no difference. Each day, there's no difference

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Speaker 1: there's threesome possible. Take the step on a step we

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Speaker 1: speaking of three three some this weekend. Uh. Matt Sam

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Speaker 1: continues on on his on his raging tirade of fuck

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Speaker 1: boys summer. Tune in, tune in tomorrow to see who

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Speaker 1: he fucked. Not just kidding, We're not we're not dropping names.

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Speaker 2: We're not dropping name yet. I'm not kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're fucking intelligent. That's big difference, big, big, big, big, big, big,

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Speaker 1: big big difference.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's keep going.

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Speaker 1: Let's keep going. Are you sure? I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: a great topic. You know, we can spend a little

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Speaker 1: more time you maybe we'll unpack it the yeah, okay sure.

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Speaker 1: Matt and wanted a baby and started trying right after marriage.

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Speaker 1: But they were having a lot of trouble. I am

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Speaker 1: talking multiple failed ivfs, multiple late term miscarriages, shit, one

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Speaker 1: of which was a stillbirth. Oh God, those poor people.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot of a lot of artache. This struggle

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Speaker 1: went on for seven years. For seven years. I have

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Speaker 1: helped her immensely through everything, financially and emotionally. Matt her

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Speaker 1: husband is unsympathetic. Sometimes he behaves as if it's a

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Speaker 1: bad batch of cookies.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Now, baby ain't a cookie, Okay.

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Speaker 2: I mean they're both. They're both funds in the oven.

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Speaker 2: Cookies in the oven, I.

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Speaker 1: Love out every single every single time, like someone in

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Speaker 1: Ranstort does something crazy. Sam's like, but let's hear the mouth.

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Speaker 1: Let's let's just let's play it out just for a

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Speaker 1: second over.

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Speaker 2: Here, a little bit advocate. Cookies need time in the

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Speaker 2: oven to rise and develop. Children need time in the womb,

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Speaker 2: a human oven. H they're both sweet developed, both sweet,

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Speaker 2: they both love like sure, I'm sure. Yeah, they both

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Speaker 2: are fairly multiple, right, Like if you have a soft

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Speaker 2: like like all right, both right out of the womb

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Speaker 2: soft spots. Right, you can put a cookie, you can

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Speaker 2: just like poke and it has a dimple. Same with

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Speaker 2: a baby skull. You can make the baby's head in

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Speaker 2: the shape of a cookie. Yes you could, that's what

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Speaker 2: you wanted to do. Yeah, you know there's like whole

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Speaker 2: like societies that like wrap the baby heads so you

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Speaker 2: have cone heads. You gonna have a baby conehead.

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Speaker 1: Argument, Well played, Samuel.

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Speaker 2: See cos and babies are the same.

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Speaker 1: We now understand the other perspective, and Matt will immediately

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Speaker 1: try to guilt her into trying again, like right after

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Speaker 1: they go through it, he'll just like another round.

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Speaker 2: He's like this batch of cookies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gonna take a little more time then cookies

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Speaker 1: cooling to get it back on, Okay, Matt Jesus. So

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Speaker 1: it's always up to me and Dan and what he says, like.

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Speaker 2: To try again, Are they just me and they're they're oh,

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Speaker 2: are they trying like another set of IVF or they're

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Speaker 2: just like.

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Speaker 1: I think it's the whole thing because it's like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I imagine if it multiple rounds, like it seems like

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Speaker 1: she probably can't have it without.

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Speaker 2: Don't you need like some time to like emotionally recover though,

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Speaker 2: Well that's what when you're bacon cookie is like, you

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Speaker 2: gotta you gotta leave some time between matches.

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Speaker 1: Let's play out the scenario here. You've just you've just

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Speaker 1: not birthed your your your ex child after seven years.

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Speaker 1: Why not get back into it? You know, as Andrew

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Speaker 1: Tate would say, you know stamina, You know stamina. As

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Speaker 1: Andrew Tate would say, women are simply baby deposit machines.

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Speaker 2: And you know I would, John and I have pledged

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Speaker 2: an oath to start living by Andrew Tate. I mean

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Speaker 2: Andrew Tate is more asserts that Auto Trump, Kim Kardashian

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Speaker 2: and Joe Biden.

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Speaker 1: Guys, we've we've done this. This is our society. Look,

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Speaker 1: I've done this to ourselves. Like that's insane, that's what.

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Speaker 1: That's insane.

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Speaker 2: Andrew Tate everywhere a man everywhere, at least on like

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Speaker 2: the male side.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, females, yeah yeah, you got your true crime. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: you girls.

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Speaker 2: Know about Andrew.

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Speaker 1: What we really need to do is create a true

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Speaker 1: time documentary about Andrew Tape. Then he will be the

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Speaker 1: most searched person on planet Earth.

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Speaker 2: I want a female Andrew Tate, and then I want

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Speaker 2: them to meet up and have a baby together. But

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Speaker 2: there's like seven years of it not actually commencing. And

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Speaker 2: then Andrew Tates like hey, cookies and that he does

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Speaker 2: a whole podcast episode about how babies are just like cookies.

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Speaker 1: Men are worthless. All men are worthless? Are balls? If

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Speaker 1: I could just have a ball sack, why would I

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Speaker 1: need a man? Okay, dude, female andw Tate. Honestly, there

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Speaker 1: we go see it. You know, you're just a ball.

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Speaker 1: I look at I look at a man. It's just

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Speaker 1: a ball. Sack. To me, it's just a ball. I

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Speaker 1: don't need you to have a have a baby. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I could do it all myself. Feelings. Your balls

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Speaker 1: also have feelings.

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Speaker 2: I want the female and tape now I feel like desperately. Well, okay,

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Speaker 2: like I I feel like it would be nice because

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Speaker 2: then then at least like it's a balance.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, have a fucking balance in the universe. We don't

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Speaker 1: need a birth like a bunch of new incels. I

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Speaker 1: already have too many. The rising in cell generation is

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Speaker 1: dude enough steam on their own, but bro and j

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Speaker 1: tates like giving them even more. It's not good. So

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Speaker 1: it was always up to me and my husband Dan

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Speaker 1: to take care of her after these ordeals. Despite many

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Speaker 1: talks from me and Dan, she remained married to him

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Speaker 1: and kept trying again and again and again.

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Speaker 2: At a certain point, you got to realize, I'm just

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Speaker 2: not good at bacon cookies. Maybe I'm not up for

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Speaker 2: the person.

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Speaker 1: I need to close my bakery down. We need to know,

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Speaker 1: start knitting.

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Speaker 2: Admitting, maybe underwater basket weaving something like that. Maybe maybe

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Speaker 2: or like okay, like I'm a really bad baker, but

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Speaker 2: maybe I can take my money and invest in a bakery.

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Speaker 2: I'm not the one making the actual cookies exactly, but

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Speaker 2: I'm caring for the cookies. Buy a baker, you know, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: buy a baker and then off carea cookies.

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Speaker 1: Yea. You know.

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Speaker 2: There's options, there's options.

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Speaker 1: We have had many offers to leave a state sized

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Speaker 1: country for a better job, but didn't because we were

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Speaker 1: scared to leave her alone. So Opie and her husband

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Speaker 1: are getting these great job offers. They're not trapped per se,

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Speaker 1: but they're kind of going their own stuff to help

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Speaker 1: care for her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they feel trapped a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Man. Three years ago, I got pregnant. We broke the

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Speaker 1: news gently to Daisy one day. She got real quiet

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Speaker 1: and then asked us to leave. Later, she sent me

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Speaker 1: an email saying she doesn't want to see me or

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Speaker 1: Dan anymore and that it is all just too much.

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Speaker 1: We tried to console her, but it didn't work, so

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Speaker 1: we gave her Man that is that's rough. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do because it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: not like it's like when you've wanted a batch of

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Speaker 1: cookies for so long and you're super hungry and you

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Speaker 1: just haven't been able to figure out the recipe. Then

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Speaker 1: first try your sister creates that batch of cookies, cookies,

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Speaker 1: and like, hey, look at these cookies. They're so warm,

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Speaker 1: they smell so good. But not ah, you can't eat

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Speaker 1: any I think that that that, uh, that metaphor perfectly

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Speaker 1: illustrates the most in the emotional distress. I think so.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a perfu. It's a perfect example. Guys,

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Speaker 1: there's there's no other emotional complexities happening here.

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Speaker 2: This is cookies, this is the coka. It's that simple.

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Speaker 2: I would like to compare everything. I would like to

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Speaker 2: pare it. Compare every single situation now to cookies. Inflation,

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Speaker 2: you got too much sugar.

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Speaker 1: Pull it out all we need vegan some vegan cookie,

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Speaker 1: actually some date based cookies. You know it's infused.

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Speaker 2: Your cookie, yeah, with some ingredients.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. You know it's everything is a cookie.

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Speaker 2: Cookie.

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Speaker 1: Coming to a podcast near you where we describe everything

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Speaker 1: but a cookie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be a great baking show.

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Speaker 1: That really would. Two weeks before I was supposed to

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Speaker 1: give birth, Dan passed away in an accident.

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Speaker 2: Wait, Dan is in the husband of the sister, oh

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Speaker 2: P's husband, Oh oh Pie's husband.

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Speaker 1: Oh Pie's husband passes away in an accident.

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Speaker 2: That's like when like you have two beakers.

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Speaker 1: It's like when you have That's like when you have

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Speaker 1: two ovens and one of them stops working, so you

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Speaker 1: have to you have to pull it out of the bakery,

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Speaker 1: and you know, wait a few years before you start

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Speaker 1: looking at new ovens. That's exactly what that is.

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Speaker 2: This is really sad. Yes, that is really sad. God,

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Speaker 2: really sad.

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Speaker 1: I don't have any family except for Dan and Daisy.

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Speaker 1: And Daisy refuse to attend the funeral because because she

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Speaker 1: will have to see me.

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Speaker 2: That's because she's having a baby.

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Speaker 1: That's that seems a bit extreme. I mean, I get

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Speaker 1: not wanting to be around her constantly, but the funeral,

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Speaker 1: but also like your sister, that was her brother who

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Speaker 1: passed away.

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Speaker 2: Wait where Opie's husband died. Opie's husband died. The husband

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Speaker 2: is related to her best friend Daisy. So Daisy is

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Speaker 2: the one that kept trying to have a baby didn't work.

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Speaker 2: But uh ohp is not related to Daisy, No, just sister.

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Speaker 2: But also she did come to her own brother's funeral exactly.

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Speaker 2: That's my thing is like, also, are you vaccine for

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Speaker 2: monkey pox? Is there a vaccination for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like I think you can only get

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Speaker 1: it if you're you're gay. Actually, wow, bro James James,

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Speaker 1: My my friend got it. Society is is really a

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Speaker 1: piece of work.

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Speaker 2: I think, get some monkey pocks. I'm no a vaccine, not.

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Speaker 1: I need to get monkey pox. Pause.

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Speaker 2: My mom just texted me and said, LA is a

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Speaker 2: monkey pox hotspot. She said, please keep your pecker firmly

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Speaker 2: protected from monkey pox.

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Speaker 1: What are you trying to say? Please keep your pressure?

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Speaker 1: Oh goodness, gracious, no clapping cheeks for you, mister. The

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Speaker 1: day before the funeral, I called her and begged her

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Speaker 1: to come. I didn't think that I would be able

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Speaker 1: to get through that without her. She hung up on

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Speaker 1: me and didn't attend the service.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's I don't know.

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Speaker 2: That's all because he's having a baby.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I definitely understand not wanting to Like

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Speaker 1: if she saw her every day, that could get wearing.

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Speaker 2: But your brother died, like, come on, like be supportive.

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Speaker 1: Soon after that, I gave birth and I decided to

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Speaker 1: move to another state. I cut off all contact with

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Speaker 1: Daisy and started fresh. Now me and my daughter are

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Speaker 1: very happy and we are enjoying a comfortable life.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So I'm I'm very glad that it worked out for

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Speaker 1: op Like, yeah, seems you know, she probably took one

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Speaker 1: of those good job offers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it's like it's like you, you know, one of

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Speaker 1: your bakers dies. You know, you're worried about the cookies

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Speaker 1: being Okay, they come out of the oven, still good,

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Speaker 1: still edible. You ship them off to another state, they

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Speaker 1: get maybe a couple of Whole Foods over there. Thing like,

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Speaker 1: life is good. I'm literally so lost in the cookie

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Speaker 1: matrix right now. There's there's no way, there's no way.

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Speaker 2: No way, there's no way way out of the cookie matrix.

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Speaker 1: Now. Daisy did attempt to contact me once I moved away,

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Speaker 1: but I ignored her. Two weeks ago, she called from

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Speaker 1: an unknown number and said she desperately wanted to talk

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Speaker 1: to me. Turns out she finally did get pregnant and

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Speaker 1: had a baby boy, who passed away five days after

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Speaker 1: being born. In the NICU Jesus Christ, Matt is also

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Speaker 1: leaving her and screwed her over because of the prenup.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, dude, this is just this is terrible.

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Speaker 1: Beyond insanity. She's basically broke and homeless days after losing

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Speaker 1: a child. I just said, okay, and then she asked,

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Speaker 1: are you really not going to say anything? You're really

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Speaker 1: not going to help? I pretty much said, I don't

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Speaker 1: care about you. I don't care about your life, I

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Speaker 1: don't care about Matt, I don't care that your baby

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Speaker 1: passed away. Just leave me and my daughter alone, and

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Speaker 1: then hung up.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Why God, that's intense.

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Speaker 1: Since then, she has been sending me multiple emails and

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Speaker 1: voicemails stating how offul I am, and how heartless I am,

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Speaker 1: and how much Dan would be disappointed. I continue to

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Speaker 1: just ignore everything. So am I the ahle uh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean and some in someone like like

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Speaker 2: it's like you know, you're you're doing an eye for

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Speaker 2: an eye, right exactly, Like they're both an a hole. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like you're both you're both kind of being everyone's an

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Speaker 2: a hole here, Like she just went through something horrific,

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Speaker 2: yeah right, and you were going through something really hard.

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Speaker 2: She wasn't there for you, and so you don't necessarily

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Speaker 2: owe her anything. But like, if you were going to

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Speaker 2: be the best version of yourself, I can't imagine leaving

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Speaker 2: her completely just like you know, like that that's your

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Speaker 2: husband's sister.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like they were friends even before she met

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Speaker 1: her husband.

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Speaker 2: So it's like that seems a little cruel.

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Speaker 1: That's it seems cool and then but you know, Daisy

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Speaker 1: definitely was the ahole for not supporting not going through that.

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Speaker 1: That was you know, that's look, that's an insane ordeal

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Speaker 1: to go through. But you know, not supporting your your

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Speaker 1: sister whose husband just died and going to your own

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Speaker 1: and not going to your own brother's funeral, Like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, man, this is I think everybody sucks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think everyone sucks there.

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Speaker 1: It is