WEBVTT - In My (Walmart) Projects: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

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<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever.

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<v Speaker 2>So who lives in a pineapple under the sea? That

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<v Speaker 2>Nigga SpongeBob? There it is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen,

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

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<v Speaker 3>The podcast where we dived deep, deep into the pockets

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<v Speaker 3>of black conspiracy.

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<v Speaker 2>Theories and we finally work to prove the theories that

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<v Speaker 2>you the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Stay off the damn wedn for this one.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, don't put that green veil over your eyes. Brothers

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<v Speaker 3>and sisters, Come on now.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm Langston Kerman and I'm awake.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm David Borie and I'm too awake.

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<v Speaker 2>I ain't never slept.

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<v Speaker 3>I was born standing up.

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<v Speaker 2>My mother's pussy is ruined.

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<v Speaker 3>I came out first like a water slide.

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<v Speaker 2>What a disgusting It's really because I imagine you said we

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<v Speaker 2>as you came out, there a celebratory quality to it.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, Black and Miles was already with we.

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<v Speaker 2>We got an email from a person and I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know how this person came out of their mother's vagina,

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<v Speaker 2>but but I do know that they sent a somewhat

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<v Speaker 2>provocative email to us.

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<v Speaker 3>Definitely, definitely.

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<v Speaker 2>And before we get into this, it is worth noting

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<v Speaker 2>that we also received quite a few emails from people

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<v Speaker 2>who were rather upset, I'd say at our our takes

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<v Speaker 2>on OJ, that that OJ and Chloe Kardashian's relationship, their lineage.

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<v Speaker 2>They they're calling to question whether or not we had

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<v Speaker 2>the right instinct to say that OJ probably is not

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<v Speaker 2>Chloe's biological daughter.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's who cares you, guys. I don't even remember

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<v Speaker 3>what was said.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I there there were people saying that that, uh,

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<v Speaker 2>somebody wrote that that there was a fair amount of

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<v Speaker 2>evidence that which they don't ever add any of the evidence.

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<v Speaker 2>They just say there is evidence that they were swingers,

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<v Speaker 2>that the the Simpson family and the Kardashian family were swingers,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's how OJ busted his first nut inside of uh,

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<v Speaker 2>what's her name, Chris, leading.

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<v Speaker 3>To what's her name? All right?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean I don't know, leading leading to Chloe

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<v Speaker 2>being the the baby that that happened.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>There were also in the that same message they talk

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<v Speaker 2>about how Bruce was there, and they do refer to

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<v Speaker 2>Bruce specifically. They're never acknowledging Caitlyn at any point in

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<v Speaker 2>this message, But they say that that Bruce was there

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<v Speaker 2>hanging out. I guess the timeline for them makes perfect sense,

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<v Speaker 2>that that Caitlyn and and OJ and Chris and Robert

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<v Speaker 2>were all just mushing into each other, and so Chloe

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<v Speaker 2>was born.

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<v Speaker 3>And to that, I say, yeah, maybe I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know these You don't know these s.

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<v Speaker 2>Paul C. Blaze, Sure, yeah, I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>I know OJ was fucking at least.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, OJ was fucking. I don't put it past any

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<v Speaker 2>of them to have had orgies and all kinds of

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<v Speaker 2>weird sexual escapades together.

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<v Speaker 3>I just don't when rich.

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<v Speaker 2>I just wish that that anybody who's upset with us

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<v Speaker 2>would would just send us footage. I'd love to see

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<v Speaker 2>the Ojai X tape you are so confident exists.

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<v Speaker 3>That would be crazy, because I bet you even if

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<v Speaker 3>this age, if he dropped, it would probably immediately be

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<v Speaker 3>the best celebrity sex tape.

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<v Speaker 2>You think.

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<v Speaker 3>So he's so athletic.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh, I feel the exact opposite.

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<v Speaker 3>You think it would be a bad You think it

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<v Speaker 3>would just be like the whole Cogan one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think he has bad knees, and I think that,

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<v Speaker 2>uh that like he there's a reason that he keeps

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<v Speaker 2>sort of picking these like goofy ass white women interesting.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think it's because, like, I can't pleasure I

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<v Speaker 2>can't pleasure a big, old, thick black lady anymore. I

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<v Speaker 2>gotta I gotta go with what I know. I gotta

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<v Speaker 2>go with what's easy.

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<v Speaker 3>They do say a lot of times that it's core

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<v Speaker 3>that's a self esteem issue. Maybe maybe all right, all right,

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<v Speaker 3>yeah he ruined it in his playing years.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, his knees are or what took him out of

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<v Speaker 2>the league, right, Like, if I'm understanding correctly, that was

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<v Speaker 2>his big downfall.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know too much about. That's way before both

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<v Speaker 3>of our times.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, Yeah, I wasn't. I I'm not a football fan

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<v Speaker 2>now I'm definitely not doing my like football history.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this is the most I've ever heard you reference,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, the great.

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<v Speaker 2>I just know that the motherfucker's knees were bad and

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<v Speaker 2>people made fun of them all the time in stand up.

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<v Speaker 3>That is true. A lot of my knowledge of old

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<v Speaker 3>sports and things come from a comic view. I found

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<v Speaker 3>out about most of the details of the trial.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, listen, everything I know about the Clinton Oh my

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<v Speaker 2>god that it came from death comedy.

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<v Speaker 3>Came from j.

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<v Speaker 1>Man.

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<v Speaker 3>I was if I was around it that time, I

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<v Speaker 3>would have ate though, I come on, I would have

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<v Speaker 3>had a crazy OJ bit. It would have it would

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<v Speaker 3>have gone places you didn't. It would have started with

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<v Speaker 3>Kato Kalin. It would have been nuts. Bro.

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<v Speaker 2>I get so mad that that we didn't come up

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<v Speaker 2>in an era where like, uh, you could just have

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<v Speaker 2>a signature bit, do you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 3>Chucky ducky quack quat, come on.

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<v Speaker 2>Baby, like it would have what There's so many comedians

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<v Speaker 2>who we just know because they did one joke that

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<v Speaker 2>everybody was like, yep, that's it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, just the one give him a movie.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And god damn it.

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<v Speaker 3>I only know the one Chris Tucker bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the give me money man.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's your damn hands up Robin his mom or whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know else.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know that is in the Michael Jackson impression.

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<v Speaker 2>That is like the other part of that five minutes and.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's it, which is another bit that would kill.

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<v Speaker 3>There's nobody now you can impersonate dancing that would kill

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<v Speaker 3>is hard. It's just going on stage and doing a

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<v Speaker 3>Michael Jackson. Come on, man, it got him to a

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<v Speaker 3>Michael Jackson video.

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<v Speaker 2>He did a fucking Michael. He became friends with Michael

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<v Speaker 2>Jackson because he did a pretty good Michael Jackson exactly.

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<v Speaker 3>And meanwhile, we're out here talking about all kinds of people.

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<v Speaker 3>Chris Brown responses to my dms.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, man, to be fair.

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<v Speaker 3>The VI's about him being a monster. But that doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>funk about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're not we're not advocating for Chris Brown, but

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<v Speaker 2>we would like him to reply at some point.

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<v Speaker 3>Some type of an acknowledgment. Do you and then we'll

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<v Speaker 3>get on because we got to get to this. Did

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<v Speaker 3>you ever you have a blue check mark? Right? I do.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>It's gonna be an elitist conversation when.

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<v Speaker 2>All you are, you planey's out there. You sit this

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<v Speaker 2>one out. This is this is for kings only.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, turn it down when adults are talking. That's because

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<v Speaker 3>that's what the blue check boks are.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, big old, grown up, big grown ass men and women.

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<v Speaker 3>When you first got the blue check mark, because you've

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<v Speaker 3>had it.

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<v Speaker 2>For a while, right, yeah, a couple of years.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, when you first got it, did you ever try

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<v Speaker 3>to like slide into a DM that you couldn't have before.

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<v Speaker 2>I did not because I'm married.

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<v Speaker 3>And no no, no no no no no no no

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<v Speaker 3>not sexual.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you mean just can I like pull a conversation? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that that I previously could not have had. I'm sure

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<v Speaker 2>I've done that. No, no, no. I think for the

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<v Speaker 2>most part, people don't really want to talk to you

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<v Speaker 2>unless you actually have something that you can they can

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<v Speaker 2>get out of you, or that you can offer them.

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<v Speaker 2>And it don't matter if that check mark is there. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>I do think, and this actually makes it hurt more.

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<v Speaker 2>I do think the blue check mark makes them check

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<v Speaker 2>it faster.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's what I was banking on. But I was awesome, man,

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<v Speaker 3>I got.

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<v Speaker 2>Sometimes some blue check mark motherfuckers will send me ship

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<v Speaker 2>and I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I'm listening, and then

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<v Speaker 2>I'll read him and be like I'm not replying to.

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<v Speaker 3>No I got. I was all drunk one time, and

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<v Speaker 3>uh I was. Olivia says, you don't need a blue

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<v Speaker 3>check walk to talk to Dennis Graham.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, winky smiley face, she said.

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<v Speaker 3>Afterwards, you just SE's pushed up to your chin in

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<v Speaker 3>the picture.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Sorry, sorry, Harry. Yeah, you need a peach emoji

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<v Speaker 2>in your name. Your wife's doing business with Dennis Graham

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<v Speaker 2>and she ain't coming home tonight.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, that's a tailors all the time. Anyways, The point

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<v Speaker 3>is I tried to ask Killer Mike if we could

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<v Speaker 3>go to the strip club one time.

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<v Speaker 2>WHOA yeah, and nothing airball air ball fuck.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, bro, I've been confused for you sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>that nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I hope my wish for you is that that

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<v Speaker 2>something big happens this year that makes him have to

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<v Speaker 2>revisit that DM. And he he just says yes, he

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<v Speaker 2>just says absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>I want him to have to come to me though.

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<v Speaker 3>I want him to now have gone because I did

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<v Speaker 3>something great and now he's DM and me on right,

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<v Speaker 3>And then he sees it and he's like, oh shit, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>why don't we just both invest in the Blue Fame

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<v Speaker 3>Flame and become like co owners And then you know,

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<v Speaker 3>we go to A and E and we pitched that

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<v Speaker 3>reality show and that's kind of our platform going forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh hell yeah. It's sort of like Ryan Ryan Reynolds

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<v Speaker 2>and and oh boy friend, it's always Sonny by a

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<v Speaker 2>soccer team, but that's a strip club.

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<v Speaker 3>But we buy a bad one. They're like, this one's

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<v Speaker 3>got about to get kicked out of the league.

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<v Speaker 2>Not under my watch.

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<v Speaker 3>No, like the town needs it, this town, little Rock

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<v Speaker 3>needs this trip.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah yeah. And it's like a really serious documentary

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<v Speaker 2>about like the recession then the struggle of this community

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<v Speaker 2>and y'all are saving it through just just pussy popping.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, yeah, and other expansions they had never thought of. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 3>get a chef of.

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<v Speaker 2>Some sort in there, come on wings potatoes, wing guy,

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<v Speaker 2>best wing guy in Alabama.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, yeah, but we're like, hey, how much to

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<v Speaker 3>met you to move to ak you know, yeah, that

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<v Speaker 3>type of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, Because the Arkansas wing community has been depleted, they

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<v Speaker 2>moved elsewhere where the economy is more booming, where the

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<v Speaker 2>opportunities are greater.

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<v Speaker 3>And that was also based on a lot of people

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<v Speaker 3>don't know that after the chicken wing shortage, there was

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<v Speaker 3>a great migration of sorts. Mm yeah, yeah, a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of these wing guys left the South because there just

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't working, was drying up.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's wings in them their hills and they had

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<v Speaker 2>this man to go where where the where the wings

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<v Speaker 2>were plentiful.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just a baby, you know what. I mean, give

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<v Speaker 3>me my pickaxe and my helment. I'm gonna go these wings.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh man, Well, I was like this, we've never uh,

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<v Speaker 4>we've never not started this long.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like this is the length of an episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we've we've talked far past what we should and

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<v Speaker 2>we haven't read a single moment of this email yet.

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<v Speaker 2>But that said, we got an email from a person

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<v Speaker 2>named j Q. JQ sent us an email. They said,

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<v Speaker 2>what's up, Lengthston and David. I love the pod. I

0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:53.760
<v Speaker 2>got another conspiracy for you, jqy some week. That means

0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 2>we've we've either read one of your conspiracies or you

0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.520
<v Speaker 2>send them often and we ignore every single one of them.

0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:08.480
<v Speaker 2>Either way, thank you for sending Yeah Sorr. He said,

0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:10.960
<v Speaker 2>you may have seen the viral video of the CEO

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:14.240
<v Speaker 2>threatening a recession to get people to go back to work.

0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:17.120
<v Speaker 2>In addition to that, I've also heard the big box

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:22.480
<v Speaker 2>corporations like Amazon, Walmart, etc. Are working to build communities

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:27.320
<v Speaker 2>quote unquote near their factories slash distribution centers where they

0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:31.480
<v Speaker 2>will eventually offer their employees quote unquote housing, which is

0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:33.920
<v Speaker 2>why you see a lot of homes recently bought up

0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:37.200
<v Speaker 2>by big corporations. This will seem like a good deal

0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:41.120
<v Speaker 2>to many. However, in this model, individuals won't own anything,

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.320
<v Speaker 2>and your employer will control your life. This is also

0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.080
<v Speaker 2>connected to the fact that they and we know who

0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:51.480
<v Speaker 2>they are, haven't tried to fix the educational system because

0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:55.120
<v Speaker 2>a less educated population means they are at a higher

0:13:55.200 --> 0:14:00.160
<v Speaker 2>risk of being exploited by said companies. Then they wrote Jerry, So,

0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:03.120
<v Speaker 2>I guess Jerry is jq's name. I don't know. There's

0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:04.880
<v Speaker 2>a lot of names happening and this shit.

0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:06.240
<v Speaker 3>I'd have gone with JQ too.

0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:08.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, don't tell people your name is Jerry Man.

0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:14.959
<v Speaker 3>It's me, baby, Jerry. You know Jerry. You know me, baby,

0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:22.360
<v Speaker 3>It's Jerry. Ah. As far as to this conspiracy, yeah,

0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:26.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm I believe it wholeheartedly. I hate thee As someone who,

0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 3>besides comedy, was always I had a firm separation between

0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:33.960
<v Speaker 3>work and home life. I never wanting to fucking hang

0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.960
<v Speaker 3>out with these losers. I think that that's a dangerous

0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:40.720
<v Speaker 3>precedent to allow your company. It feels so close to

0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.920
<v Speaker 3>like when the railroad offered script you know what I mean.

0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.040
<v Speaker 3>It feels like it feels like a very similar system

0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.520
<v Speaker 3>in which Okay, well, now if Walmart owns this whole

0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.360
<v Speaker 3>neighborhood that I live in. I probably shop at a Walmart.

0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 3>And if I shop at a Walmart, yeah I couldn't

0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:58.560
<v Speaker 3>pay cash, But what if they give me these Walmart

0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.360
<v Speaker 3>Bucks instead? Just be because it's a system. And then

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:05.320
<v Speaker 3>it becomes this thing where like you're ultimately reliant on

0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:10.360
<v Speaker 3>this truly soulless entity, this thing that has operates to

0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:13.480
<v Speaker 3>no morals to take care of you, and I think

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:17.200
<v Speaker 3>it's horrible. Yeah, it's pretty awful, President, It's pretty fucked

0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:17.680
<v Speaker 3>up shit.

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.720
<v Speaker 2>And it doesn't feel as much like a conspiracy as

0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I think is being presented. This feels largely this is

0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:31.360
<v Speaker 2>a true thing. Right, these these Amazon and Walmart and

0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 2>all these big companies are trying to sort of build

0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 2>like these worker housing units. And subsequently, to your point,

0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 2>it does mean that they do control your entire life

0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:46.120
<v Speaker 2>in ways that they are both acknowledging and not acknowledging.

0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:51.400
<v Speaker 2>Like I recently got a prescription for a medication your

0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 2>boys got psoriasis, and I'm not ashamed of that.

0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:55.880
<v Speaker 3>Really good?

0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh thanks man? Yeah, I have to inject myself every

0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:00.480
<v Speaker 2>three months.

0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:05.239
<v Speaker 3>No, you, let's just get you asteroid.

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:10.360
<v Speaker 2>Otherwise I turn into a lizard man, all right, But

0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.680
<v Speaker 2>that said, one of the things, like the the the

0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:18.320
<v Speaker 2>drug itself is insanely expensive, but if you sign up

0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:22.320
<v Speaker 2>for like these weird like incentives and like build a

0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:26.840
<v Speaker 2>relationship with this second company kind of thing, you can

0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 2>get the drug for essentially free. Like I don't pay

0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:33.200
<v Speaker 2>shit for this psoriasis medication. But what I also have

0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:37.160
<v Speaker 2>to accept in doing that, in building that relationship is

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.400
<v Speaker 2>anything that they sort of like decide to use with

0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:45.600
<v Speaker 2>my information and agree to like fucking emails from them,

0:16:46.000 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 2>agree to phone calls from them. I have to agree

0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.240
<v Speaker 2>to all kinds of relationships that I didn't fucking want.

0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:54.000
<v Speaker 2>I just want to be able to inject myself with

0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 2>the medication and move on with my life. And I

0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:00.080
<v Speaker 2>think this is sort of a more advanced version of that,

0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 2>right that, like, yes, you are potentially getting housing, but

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:07.680
<v Speaker 2>how much of your life is consumed by this product,

0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.280
<v Speaker 2>this corporation, this entity.

0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:13.679
<v Speaker 3>And not only are to me Once again, it's just

0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:17.440
<v Speaker 3>just so crazy because not only are you moving into

0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.960
<v Speaker 3>housing owned by your company, that also means your entire

0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 3>neighborhood is people who you work with. And if we

0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:29.320
<v Speaker 3>all remember from trying to get high at work, these

0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:32.400
<v Speaker 3>dudes are snitching. Yeah, so yeah, I don't want you.

0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to live next door. What the you

0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.680
<v Speaker 3>don't need to see who comes to my house? None

0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:38.240
<v Speaker 3>of that shit.

0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:41.400
<v Speaker 2>And then I imagine there's gonna be a level of

0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.320
<v Speaker 2>like corporate policing that happens as it, you know what

0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:44.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean.

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:46.280
<v Speaker 3>Like you don't think these dudes are snitching.

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 2>But even worse, who's to say that those corporations don't

0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.000
<v Speaker 2>then get to put cameras in the houses or like

0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:57.439
<v Speaker 2>fucking in the neighborhood to essentially say that this is

0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:02.480
<v Speaker 2>a way of ensuring that their employees are following corporate rules.

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:08.280
<v Speaker 3>Exactly, because now all your extracurriculars are run by the

0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:11.679
<v Speaker 3>fucking like you know what I mean, if it's a neighborhood.

0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.639
<v Speaker 3>Now the gym, it's not a twenty four hour finish,

0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:17.120
<v Speaker 3>it's a Walmart gym, because why not? So now they

0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:20.200
<v Speaker 3>know when you're at the gym and the movie theater

0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:24.320
<v Speaker 3>and the titty barrowing by David Borrian and Michael whatever

0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:25.119
<v Speaker 3>his real name is.

0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it's still killer. I think it's Michael Killer.

0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:34.240
<v Speaker 3>Michael Killer. But like but no, I mean, it just

0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.800
<v Speaker 3>becomes a thing of like how much do you want

0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:38.520
<v Speaker 3>to let them in? And I do die on that

0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:40.320
<v Speaker 3>hill where I'm not trying to do any of that.

0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:42.200
<v Speaker 3>I reject all cookies.

0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:44.120
<v Speaker 2>I like that.

0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I reject all cookies. I don't. I don't care

0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:49.639
<v Speaker 3>how good the amateur video that brought me to the

0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:54.600
<v Speaker 3>website looks.

0:18:56.359 --> 0:19:00.359
<v Speaker 2>I guess I'm beating off to that preview. Make it

0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.600
<v Speaker 2>all the way through the video, y'all, yeah, over.

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:04.879
<v Speaker 3>Your mouth over it it starts to play.

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's it's a very scary idea, I would I

0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.920
<v Speaker 2>think especially scary is I'm not exactly sure what can

0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.960
<v Speaker 2>be done about it, right, Like these corporations are not

0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:23.320
<v Speaker 2>getting smaller despite our awareness of sort of the fuck

0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:24.720
<v Speaker 2>ship that they're trying to pull.

0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:27.280
<v Speaker 3>I think it's up to individuals too. It's just like

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:31.159
<v Speaker 3>we gotta chill. I hate that at the end it

0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:34.159
<v Speaker 3>gets all preat cheap. But it's like it's up to

0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:40.520
<v Speaker 3>individuals and we gotta stop stop personalizing all these corporations

0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:45.800
<v Speaker 3>that are only doing things to just advertise for us,

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.560
<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean, Like we people have personal relationships.

0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:53.280
<v Speaker 3>You will hear people say I love Blencioga.

0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Why what do they do for you?

0:19:56.640 --> 0:20:00.760
<v Speaker 3>If nothing ever, nor will they ever. Don't like so

0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:05.640
<v Speaker 3>to love these things and have these loyalties or like corporations,

0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:07.640
<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean. I love working for Nike

0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:12.960
<v Speaker 3>or whatever. That shit's like it becomes it's it's insidious,

0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:14.639
<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean, And it's it feels like

0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:17.280
<v Speaker 3>it's it's like getting bigger and bigger.

0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And we talked about this briefly before the podcast

0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:25.160
<v Speaker 2>started that in reading this email, it doesn't not remind

0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:27.400
<v Speaker 2>me a little bit of like what we talked about

0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:32.000
<v Speaker 2>or are experiencing. As it relates to the WGA strike

0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:35.240
<v Speaker 2>and the SAG strike. There was that article that went

0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:40.880
<v Speaker 2>viral where this unnamed studio executive essentially said their plan

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:44.680
<v Speaker 2>was to let writers starve. That like they would ride

0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:48.280
<v Speaker 2>this thing out until writers lost their homes, starved whatever

0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:50.920
<v Speaker 2>it's to get them back to work. And what ended

0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:54.520
<v Speaker 2>up becoming sort of revealed inside of like the months

0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:57.040
<v Speaker 2>and months of waiting was that some of that was

0:20:57.200 --> 0:21:00.720
<v Speaker 2>just propaganda. It was just a corporation being like, Yo,

0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.960
<v Speaker 2>if we threaten to let them starve, we can convince

0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:06.720
<v Speaker 2>them to get back to work faster, or we can

0:21:06.760 --> 0:21:10.560
<v Speaker 2>get them off of this sort of train of self advocacy,

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:14.280
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of it is that, right, Like, it's

0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:17.360
<v Speaker 2>not that they wouldn't let us starve, but it is

0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:21.439
<v Speaker 2>just sort of big, powerful people throwing their weight around

0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:24.800
<v Speaker 2>and trying to scare us into making choices that are

0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:29.000
<v Speaker 2>worse for our lives than we actually deserve. And it

0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.119
<v Speaker 2>is our responsibility, I think, to your point, to be

0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:35.520
<v Speaker 2>able to stand our ground and say, like, yo, as

0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:39.719
<v Speaker 2>bad as I need housing, as bad as I need,

0:21:40.240 --> 0:21:44.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, resources, I can't give my entire life over

0:21:44.320 --> 0:21:47.720
<v Speaker 2>to a corporation that does not give a fuck about me.

0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:51.520
<v Speaker 3>Yep. If a corporation is offering you something or help,

0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:54.879
<v Speaker 3>offering some help to you, it's always in your worst interest.

0:21:55.520 --> 0:22:00.360
<v Speaker 3>They are never helping. It's never good. It's never it's

0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:03.160
<v Speaker 3>never like OK. And if they're making some shit easier,

0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:05.240
<v Speaker 3>it's for sure not good.

0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:06.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:22:06.080 --> 0:22:07.840
<v Speaker 3>And you just got it, like you gotta have that

0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:09.040
<v Speaker 3>in your head, you know what I mean.

0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:11.320
<v Speaker 2>Listen, I don't care if it's I don't care if

0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:15.640
<v Speaker 2>it's June Skittles. Don't give a fuck about your gay ass, exactly.

0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:19.000
<v Speaker 2>I know they say they do.

0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:22.080
<v Speaker 3>There's the rainbow. They didn't market research to get to.

0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:26.520
<v Speaker 2>That they don't care about you, and it's great that,

0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:29.399
<v Speaker 2>you know. Sometimes they change the colors and we can

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:32.320
<v Speaker 2>all enjoy a different flavor skittle. But come on right.

0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:35.119
<v Speaker 3>Except for Tuesday. For Tuesdays down at the Blue Flame

0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:39.080
<v Speaker 3>Strip Club in Atlanta, Georgia, Blue Flame, we'll keep the

0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:39.840
<v Speaker 3>light on for you.

0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:45.280
<v Speaker 2>I like that you just steal a different corporations tagline.

0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:47.919
<v Speaker 3>You're like, fuck it, Yeah, that's what I said. I

0:22:47.960 --> 0:22:49.720
<v Speaker 3>find no flag, I have no masters.

0:22:52.680 --> 0:22:57.119
<v Speaker 2>Well, Jerry JQ, whatever you prefer to be called, I

0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:00.960
<v Speaker 2>pray to God it's not Jerry. But but I hope

0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:05.879
<v Speaker 2>that this sort of answers your question, your conspiracy. We

0:23:06.000 --> 0:23:09.800
<v Speaker 2>don't trust corporations, and this sounds very much like some

0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:13.960
<v Speaker 2>evil shit that Daddy Bezos and the bad boys at

0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Walmart would cook up. I know, I don't have anything

0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:22.560
<v Speaker 2>else you did, okayhud fuck it. You want to tell

0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:24.359
<v Speaker 2>the people where they can find you and what cool

0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:25.320
<v Speaker 2>shit you have going on?

0:23:25.440 --> 0:23:29.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, come on out to see me. Instagram Cool guy

0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:34.280
<v Speaker 3>jokes eighty seven. My tour dates are at Bring David

0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:38.280
<v Speaker 3>Aplate dot com. Got like another month or so on tour.

0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:41.720
<v Speaker 3>We're doing all the fun cities. So I still am

0:23:41.760 --> 0:23:45.280
<v Speaker 3>going to be at this Friday. I'm going to be

0:23:45.359 --> 0:23:49.080
<v Speaker 3>in Indianapolis at the White Rabbit Cabaret Saturday. I'm going

0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:52.400
<v Speaker 3>to be in Cincinnati Sunday. I'm going to be in Morgantown,

0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:56.960
<v Speaker 3>West Virginia next Thursday. I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio, Friday,

0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:04.760
<v Speaker 3>October sixth, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvaniatober seventh, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October twelfth, Springfield, Missouri,

0:24:05.080 --> 0:24:11.680
<v Speaker 3>October thirteenth, Saint Louis, Missouri, October twenty first, New York

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:17.720
<v Speaker 3>City October twenty second, Damn Worcestern, Massachusetts. October twenty fifth,

0:24:17.800 --> 0:24:21.679
<v Speaker 3>Kansas City, Missouri, October twenty sixth, Who Falls, South Dakota

0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:25.760
<v Speaker 3>in October twenty seventh and twenty eighth, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come

0:24:25.800 --> 0:24:29.280
<v Speaker 3>out my hours going crazy. I'm writing a new a

0:24:29.280 --> 0:24:31.960
<v Speaker 3>lot of new shit, and come out so you can

0:24:32.280 --> 0:24:36.119
<v Speaker 3>see that I'm good and buy some clothes because afterwards,

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:42.159
<v Speaker 3>ultimately no one will care that that was long. That

0:24:42.240 --> 0:24:42.920
<v Speaker 3>was a long one.

0:24:43.400 --> 0:24:47.120
<v Speaker 2>Look, man, you're gonna have to rest after this because

0:24:47.160 --> 0:24:50.359
<v Speaker 2>that's a lot of fucking places you gotta be.

0:24:50.560 --> 0:24:52.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, we already did that other tour.

0:24:53.040 --> 0:24:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't sleep no more, damn well. I have substantially

0:24:57.880 --> 0:25:00.680
<v Speaker 2>less dates to tell you about, but you can find

0:25:00.680 --> 0:25:03.600
<v Speaker 2>me at Langston Kerman on Instagram. I would love for

0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:07.480
<v Speaker 2>you to follow me there. And if you live in

0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:11.920
<v Speaker 2>New Westminster, British Columbia, that's Canada, bitch, come on out

0:25:12.320 --> 0:25:15.960
<v Speaker 2>October thirteenth and fourteenth to the House of Comedy. If

0:25:16.000 --> 0:25:19.200
<v Speaker 2>you are in Wilmington, North Carolina, I'd love to see

0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:22.120
<v Speaker 2>you October twentieth and twenty first at the Dead Crow

0:25:22.240 --> 0:25:26.359
<v Speaker 2>Comedy Room, Burlington, Vermont. I'll be at Vermont Comedy Club

0:25:26.680 --> 0:25:31.359
<v Speaker 2>November tenth and eleventh, and then finally November seventeenth and eighteenth,

0:25:31.440 --> 0:25:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I'll be at Hyenas Comedy Nightclub in Dallas, Texas. I

0:25:36.480 --> 0:25:39.480
<v Speaker 2>look forward to fucking around with all of y'all out there,

0:25:39.520 --> 0:25:41.560
<v Speaker 2>And as always, if you want to send us your

0:25:41.600 --> 0:25:45.440
<v Speaker 2>own drops, your own conspiracies. If you want to advocate

0:25:45.520 --> 0:25:48.080
<v Speaker 2>for the corporations that we have been shitting on on

0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:51.440
<v Speaker 2>this podcast, you can send it all to Mymama pod

0:25:51.440 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 2>at gmail dot com. We probably won't listen to your advocacy,

0:25:55.560 --> 0:25:58.000
<v Speaker 2>but boy would be funny if you go. Hey, actually

0:25:58.440 --> 0:26:04.600
<v Speaker 2>I think that Walmart is night and you're why Bill

0:26:04.680 --> 0:26:09.280
<v Speaker 2>Inciaga save my father from his cancer. So there, Send

0:26:09.320 --> 0:26:11.240
<v Speaker 2>it all to my mama pot at gmail dot com.

0:26:11.240 --> 0:26:13.600
<v Speaker 2>We would love to hear from you, and and follow

0:26:13.680 --> 0:26:16.640
<v Speaker 2>us on YouTube, subscribe, do the whole thing. We haven't

0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:18.880
<v Speaker 2>said that in a while, largely, I think because we're

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<v Speaker 2>both anxious about reaching a certain subscription number and fucking

0:26:24.400 --> 0:26:28.080
<v Speaker 2>having to learn to do nunchucks and and harmonica. But

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<v Speaker 2>follow and subscribe on YouTube, and that's that's the whole shebang. Bye, bitch,

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<v Speaker 2>motherfucking mini Yoursel.

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<v Speaker 1>Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Yoursel. Motherfucking Mini Yourself Mini Episode,

0:26:53.560 --> 0:26:55.120
<v Speaker 1>motherfucking Mini ever Sel