1 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephan 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: never told your prediction if iHeart radio and welcome to 3 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 1: another Monday Mini or what I'm gonna call Samantha's crisis 4 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: or maybe not. Okay, do you like that? Ah? Yeah, yeah, 5 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna leave you hanging it though so recently, Annie, 6 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: you know this because you were around. I just I 7 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:40,239 Speaker 1: need to go get my eyes checked because I need contacts. 8 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: And we've had a lot of conversations about the fact 9 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: that if the apocalypse happens, I'm screwed because I can't see, 10 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 1: Like I really probably have one of the worst like stigmatisms. 11 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 1: I've been told repeatedly by my eye doctors like yoh yeah, yeah, 12 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: oh yeah, it's kind of bad, or you really have it. 13 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need faces when you tell me 14 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: what's wrong with my eyes, but whatever, Because when I 15 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: don't have contacts or glasses on, everything is a bright 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: blur um. It's petrifying. I can't believe I didn't have 17 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 1: glasses until I was fourteen, Like it was like that 18 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: think it took that long for me to get them 19 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: orging fifteen because my eyes are atrocious when it comes 20 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: to all the things that I need to do to 21 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: be able to see, and because of the level of 22 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 1: my stigmatism, my contacts I'll go out of whack, so 23 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: it's a whole thing. So it was interesting. So I 24 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: went for this eye appointment and it was my first 25 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: woman doctor like woman um optometrists, which it is rare 26 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: because I think I've had the past ten times it's 27 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: all been all been men and usually are typically older man. 28 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,119 Speaker 1: I did have one young Asian dude. Well this time 29 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: I had one young Asian woman and I was like, oh, hey, 30 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: how are you have all these things? So I got 31 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: my eyes checked, went for the exam. She stops to 32 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: the point she's like, m either there's something wrong with 33 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: this test or your eyesight has got so badly. I've 34 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: never seen this kind of jump except for only in children. 35 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: And she's like and it's as She's like, it's not 36 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: you know, I'm not gonna say it never happened, but 37 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,239 Speaker 1: this is very rare. We need to do a couple 38 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: of things. So my what should have been like forty 39 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: five minute tests went into being like two hours long 40 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: because I had to get my eyes dilated, which is horrible, 41 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: horrible because I was like, I'm blind, I can't see anything, 42 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: or I can see too much. I don't know. And 43 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: it turned out that it was a thing because she 44 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: was saying that I must be watched looking at the 45 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: screen so much that it's really affected my eyes to 46 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: the point that it was a huge It almost doubled 47 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: the prescription of what I had. And when she did 48 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: the original test, she was like, actually, your prescription is 49 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: lower than what they prescribed you previously, and that might 50 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: be part of your strain as well, but your screen 51 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: time you need to really monitor that because it really 52 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: is affecting your eyesight. Which I was like, oh, and 53 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: I asked you what could it be because we were 54 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: all working from home. Is it getting worse? She's like no. 55 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, to be at all, it might 56 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: be like nope, and then she went on to say, 57 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: you know, with your age, it's probably time to talk 58 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: about readers, and I'm like, son of so I kind 59 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,119 Speaker 1: of sat there, you know, I'm like, you know what, 60 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: I accept that I am in my early forties and 61 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: that this is a thing that I need. And yes, 62 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: I have noticed that when I'm focusing on something like 63 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: a book or you know, looking something on my phone. 64 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: I am doing what my mother and father do, which 65 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: is to like try to focus the phone and then 66 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: out to see what I am looking at. So I 67 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: had a moment of an existential crisis between the whole 68 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: your eyesight is progressing like a child to you need readers. 69 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: I just had this moment, was like, oh God, I'm 70 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: getting older. My eyes were super puffy. So I feel 71 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: like I'm starting to look my age. And even though 72 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: I should not feel any way about this, because there's 73 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: so many I still don't fill my age. So it's 74 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: not necessarily that I'm scared of growing older. It's more 75 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: so that I am trying to equate how I feel 76 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: to my age. So yeah, so to me, I can't 77 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 1: quite grasp the fact that I am my early forties 78 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: because I am nowhere near where my mother was in 79 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: her forties, right, And there's so many things that does 80 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: not see And we've talked about this. I think we 81 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 1: talked about this in the very first episode. I was 82 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: introducing myself and that trying to figure out if I'm 83 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: all of these things? Am I an adult? Am I feminist? 84 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: With all these things that doesn't seem to hit the 85 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: nail on the head for me when it comes to 86 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: when I'm thinking and then having moments of like, okay, 87 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,159 Speaker 1: so I need to look at what readers look like. 88 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: And I was like, can I just buy them at 89 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: the drug store because she was gonna write a whole prescription. 90 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, that's her. Fine, you don't need that 91 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 1: high You're gonna be on the lowest. She's like, eventually 92 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: you will have to and so all those eventually, and 93 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I don't need these eventulis. 94 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: I did ask if I could get correct the surgery. 95 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: She was like maybe. So that was That was a 96 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: fun conversation, but it did have me thinking, because you know, 97 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: you start thinking about where you are in life, what 98 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: does this look like? Moving on? And I'm doing so 99 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 1: many new things. I'm really honing into trying to learn 100 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: Korean to the point that it starting to sound familiar, 101 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: but like trying to learn a language, and again, my 102 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: situation is completely different because I'm relearning. I guess you 103 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: could say, but it feels odd because I'm like, do 104 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: I have the capability to learn as easily as I 105 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: did as a kid? You know, all these things because 106 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: I learned English within six months, and I learned it 107 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: to the point that I could understand and communicate with everyone, 108 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: which is also why I lost my knowledge of Korean 109 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: because I was so I was submerged into English. So 110 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: all of these things, I'm like, oh my god, age, 111 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: what has happened? Opening I feel like I am finally 112 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: coming to a point that I feel responsible because I 113 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 1: am actually being paid adult living money and I'm doing 114 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: adult things like buying a house. But that's the only 115 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: adult thing. I mean, when it comes down to it, 116 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: is managing my credit, sure, and understanding the importance, trying 117 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,359 Speaker 1: to figure out this retirement thing, Sure, trying to figure 118 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: out the taxes things. Okay, there's so many things that 119 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, these are adult things, but I still 120 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: feel like I'm so new at this. And then as 121 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: I'm sitting here questioning all of these things, of course, 122 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: an article comes out about how millennials in midlife crisis 123 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: and middle age has become a completely different thing than 124 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: what you once knew. So there was a Times article 125 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: that came out titled Millennials are hitting a middle age 126 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: and it doesn't look like what we were promised. So 127 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: she's talking about a book that was written in two 128 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: thousand early two thousands. Who is predicting that by the 129 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: time we the millennials came into middle age and there 130 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: would be no more like midlife crisis situation because we 131 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: would become more rich and more stable, and we would 132 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: have growth and all of these things, and that the 133 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: economic social status would be closer together, which is not true, 134 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: which has been the opposite of all of that. And 135 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: there's been so many conversations about what does that look 136 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: like for us, and what does that mean for the 137 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: late millennials, which I am at So I'm right at 138 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: the cusp, so I'm at the edge of woul I 139 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: would be a millennial slash a gen xer. So it 140 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 1: kind of it's corner when you would say it. But 141 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: I think, you know, I've accepted the fact that I'm like, ah, 142 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: technically i think I'm the elder millennial, which I still 143 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: hate that terms of thinking late millennial, and we are 144 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: coming to that point. And she had a lot of 145 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: interesting conversations, including maybe in not calling our sells the 146 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: middle age anymore because it just doesn't feel appropriate in 147 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: that when my mother was going to quote middle age, 148 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: she had four children, one who was already married, if 149 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: not two, So like it just fills off, right, They've 150 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 1: had and then my mom and dad had the job, 151 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: but my mom actually was a stay at home mom, 152 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: or my dad had the job. They had a house, 153 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: they owned several properties. All of these things, they were 154 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: taking care of their grandparents. In different conversations, and that 155 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: is not where I'm at. Unfortunately, none of my grandparents 156 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: who are alive today. So it does make me sad, 157 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: but that's not a thing that we do. I moved 158 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: away from home, which was not what they did typically. 159 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: So they are like, okay, let's let's call the middle 160 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: age something else. And these were some of the suggestions, 161 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: and I really liked them. Peak survival mode. And I 162 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: think that's referencing which we will come back to, is 163 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: that the millennials have gone through every type of chaos 164 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: I think there could have been, starting with like the 165 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: two thousand and eight crash, and then September eleventh, the 166 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: Iraqi War. Then you're going into all the other things, 167 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: the pandemic, all of this. So like we've been through 168 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: some things. We have seen some things like the column buying, shooting, 169 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: all of these things have really just I don't know 170 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,439 Speaker 1: if it's grown or we were just now more aware 171 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,719 Speaker 1: of it, but you know, we we we've again been 172 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: through some crisis. Then there's a late young adult because 173 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: one person who was quoted on here said, physically, yes, 174 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: I am middle age, but economically I'm in my twenties. 175 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: And I feel like that's a little on point because 176 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: we are not hitting the same salary bracket. Until three 177 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 1: years ago, which I would have been in my late thirties, 178 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: I was still making less than thirty eight thousand dollars 179 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 1: a year, and that was with a full time job, 180 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 1: and that was with the fact that I still had 181 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: a roommate again around at thirty six, so that just 182 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: it doesn't it didn't equate to that. And of course 183 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: I was also single, so that's a whole different conversation. 184 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: And then another another person put the early halfway you 185 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: know what, Okay, okay, that's that's good. That's good. But 186 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: I think, like I found it interesting because yes, I 187 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 1: do not know can we title these things midlife crisis 188 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: technically because we don't have the same like suburban wife 189 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 1: trying to change her life around or middle aged dude 190 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: who decides to go with younger people to make himself 191 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: feel younger. We feel young. I think that's kind of 192 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: the complication here is I feel like I'm still a child, 193 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: even though I may not look like it physically and 194 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: or I may not actually move like it physically. So 195 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: biologically yes, mindset and no, does that make sense? It does. 196 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: I've shared the story on here and this is when 197 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: I don't know, four or five years ago, our wonderful 198 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: coworker Tamika, we were at an office event and she 199 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,199 Speaker 1: called me an adult and I burst out laughing, like 200 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: on instincts, and yes, I am an adult. But it 201 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: just felt strange because I don't feel I don't know, 202 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: because I live an apartment by myself, which is great, 203 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: like I'm able to afford it, but I have like 204 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: a messy cosplay closet, like I just have. And it's 205 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: not to say you can't do that as an adult, 206 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: but it feels like I haven't entered the stage of yeah, 207 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: what my parents had, or like those goalposts that we 208 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: were taught you would have, and I'm not even really 209 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: close to a lot of them. Like that feels like I, 210 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: like I joke about it, but some days and I'd 211 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: be in my eighties before I'm even and hopefully I 212 00:11:56,160 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: haven't slipped in the shower that it's a concerned I've 213 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: had that concerned. My shower very slippery, and I'm like, oh, 214 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 1: we're all gonna die. But yeah, I agree with you, 215 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 1: Like that's the thing. It's like I've hit one mile 216 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: marker buying a home, and I felt like that was 217 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,559 Speaker 1: pushed onto me because of the point of rent getting 218 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: so high and being unreasonable. But it's not necessarily because 219 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: I wanted to or I desire to. Again, I we 220 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: don't necessarily want children, so that's not a thing for me. 221 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily want marriage. I love where we're at. 222 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: I love my partner very much, and I feel like 223 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: we've gotten to a good point in our relationship and 224 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: we are really good at well, we've gotten better at communicating, 225 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: you know, we've gotten really good at cohabitating. So I 226 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: feel like all of that is well. But that does 227 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: not mean I want to move in any direction outside 228 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: of that. I still don't really necessarily see the point 229 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: outside of you know, legal reasons. So suddenly that's not 230 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: the point. Then why are we doing this? Maybe it's 231 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: because again I'm a little childish and don't think I'm 232 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: ready for that either. Again, like that's in the back 233 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: of my head. In the article that I was talking 234 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: about with The New York Times, it says many people 235 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: said they couldn't be having a midlife crisis because there's 236 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: no bourgeois numbness to rebelligance. Rather than longing for adventure 237 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: and release, they craved a sense of safety and calmness, 238 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 1: which they felt up they had never known. And I 239 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 1: feel like that's true. Like I do want to travel, 240 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: but I also don't want to leave my house because 241 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: I'm afraid of everything out there. There's this level of 242 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 1: like everything's going wrong in the world, so I just 243 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: want to be safe. And I think that's very true 244 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: my mom. I don't think my mom and dad never 245 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 1: went to room in crisis. If they did, I don't 246 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: think that has a time. So I don't know if 247 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: they would tell you that that existed for them either, 248 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: because it does feel like that was more of a privileged, 249 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: upper middle class way of life, like it wasn't for everyone. 250 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: If you live to work, if you live to take 251 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: care of your children, that's all you could focus on, 252 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: so that was not a thing. So I absolutely feel 253 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 1: like it's not necessarily like a very big wash of 254 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: like this it was and it was so stable then 255 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 1: it wasn't. It was not necessarily that. But it does 256 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: feel like I'm aging differently. I don't necessarily mean physically, 257 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: but mentally. I don't feel like I'm anywhere near what 258 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,040 Speaker 1: my parents were obviously, or anywhere near what was the 259 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: expectation for me at this age. I don't hate it, 260 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: but yeah, it's all about being just stable at this point. Yeah, 261 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it's a it's a big disconnect, and there's 262 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: a lot we could talk about because when nineteen ninety 263 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 1: one is when you know, like cable news launched, and 264 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: then we're exposed to like everything around the world, and 265 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: then the Internet comes around, and then we're exposed to that, 266 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: and you you and I were kind of growing up 267 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 1: with that, and then yes, there's nine eleven and all 268 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: like the pandemic and all of these things. But also, 269 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: like I was just reading a book the other day 270 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: about you know, if you take on like wage sagnation. 271 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: We've been working. It's because a lot of times that 272 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: we'll read articles like they just don't want to work. 273 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: You know, a lot of us are working, but where 274 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 1: there's just been no like wage increase. There there's rise 275 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: and student debt, like every like renting is more expensive. 276 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 1: There's been all of these things where we can't find 277 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: the stability that we want. And I do think it's 278 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: interesting because for me, like I love traveling, I love 279 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: doing all these things, and now I'm just like I 280 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: just want to feel like I have a place, like 281 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 1: I do want to still do that stuff, whereas like 282 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: my mom, I'm watching her who never got to do 283 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: that stuff because she had kids and talking about like, 284 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: you know, I'd like to go do this. So I 285 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: do think there's like a disconnect both in generations but 286 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: also in what we were taught and told we should 287 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: have done by this middle age point and where we 288 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: feel we are mentally because of all of these things 289 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 1: that have happened in our lifetimes, right right, Yeah, I 290 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: just which feels so odd. No, it does, it does. 291 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: But I think like there is sort of a and 292 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 1: this is me speaking extipporaneously, so I could be wrong, 293 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: but I feel like that for me, at least, there 294 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: is a I'm exposed to all of this stuff and 295 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: I feel like I can't change anything about it, and 296 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: I can't change like in my situation, but in the 297 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: world as well. I mean, you're talking about things like 298 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 1: climate change. I like, literally the other day I was thinking, 299 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll be around to see that, 300 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: which is terrified, but it's that's like what is in 301 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 1: the back of our heads, and so I think that 302 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 1: there can be this mental retreat of I'm gonna watch 303 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: Star Wars again. I've seen it a hundred times, but 304 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: that's what I'm going to do. And so it feels 305 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 1: like you're being quote childish or not an adult because 306 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 1: you can't handle these things point in reality, like being 307 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 1: faced with all of that stuff all of the time 308 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 1: and feeling this lack of stability and not feeling like 309 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: you have like a great financial situation, and not feeling 310 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:10,480 Speaker 1: like you can feel safe. And yeah, that's not to 311 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: say that our parents didn't struggle with those but we've 312 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:16,159 Speaker 1: just been exposed to it forever, and so I get it. 313 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,880 Speaker 1: Totally makes sense to me that, you know, we all 314 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 1: have a lot of us have these retreats that do 315 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: feel quote childish that we've been told or quote childish, 316 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 1: when in reality, we're just trying to cope. Were just 317 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,959 Speaker 1: trying to cope well, you know, and then that's how 318 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 1: an article they say, what used to stand out about 319 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 1: midlife is that people tended to have a sense of 320 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: power over their own circumstances in midlife, the sense of 321 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,880 Speaker 1: control is an important component of health and well being. 322 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: Even when previous generations had many life stressors, that feeling 323 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: of control balanced them out. But for millennials, unfortunately, that 324 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 1: is exactly what might be changing. We feel we have 325 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 1: lost any semblance of control. And again it might have 326 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,360 Speaker 1: everything to do with the back and forth of generations, 327 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: which seems that I know it used to be a thing, 328 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: and I've thought it was a joke, but it feels 329 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 1: even heavier now, like whether or not it's gen Z 330 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:13,199 Speaker 1: versus millennials, or millennials versus boomers, or boomers versus gen zers, 331 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 1: with millennials being the hype people behind you know, all 332 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: these things, it feels like such a bigger divide in 333 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 1: that in trying to see who can one up on 334 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 1: what is wrong? Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I do 335 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:32,120 Speaker 1: think I think that there is this kind of idea 336 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:36,719 Speaker 1: among people, especially boomers who did kind of you know, 337 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 1: went to school, especially like white, pretty privileged boomers who 338 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,160 Speaker 1: went to school, got the job, worked hard, we're able 339 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: to retire that, Well, why can't you do that? I 340 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 1: did that, right, But things have changed or haven't changed 341 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: in terms of like wages, So it's I think there 342 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: is kind of that, well I did it. I don't 343 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: understand why you're struggling so hard, because I like times 344 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: were hard for me, but I made it work. And 345 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 1: I do think that changing with people who you know, 346 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: take the time to look into what's going on right now. 347 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: But I do think that's a big part of this 348 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,919 Speaker 1: conversation of sort of this, well it worked for me, 349 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: I don't understand. Yeah, yeah, and it is. That's a 350 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: good point in that because we have to talk about 351 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: Social Security, that is the prime example on it is 352 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 1: depleted and we know this doesn't exist for us, but 353 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: we're still paying out ye knowing it's going to be depleted. 354 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: Same thing as the fact that the taxes and then 355 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,239 Speaker 1: like the wages have not increased, but we're working so 356 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: much more because everything else has increased. The price of 357 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: living has increased, the cost of living has increased, the 358 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: cost of interest and housing has increased. There's nothing that 359 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 1: exists today that was the same then, except for the 360 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: wages part, and that is absurd. Even the quality, even 361 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 1: the qualifications to get these jobs have changed without anyone 362 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 1: helping those people to get that kind of education, right 363 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:17,400 Speaker 1: called different conversations the times are quolle, that's a really 364 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 1: great job, and just making sure that they talk to people. 365 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,679 Speaker 1: And this is something that they wrote about it I 366 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,439 Speaker 1: thought was really interesting. Is how does life filter you 367 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: right now? And I feel like they've said it perfectly. 368 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: And this is a forty year old woman saying, I 369 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 1: keep feeling like my life is about to get started, 370 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: much like how I felt at twenty. Even though I'm forty, 371 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:42,439 Speaker 1: my life didn't start honestly to this new potential quote unquote, 372 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: which I feel like it's going to go away at 373 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 1: any moment. Until I started this job, like being able 374 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 1: to have this freedom to do this job, but then 375 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: being paid at least more so on the bracket of yes, 376 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,360 Speaker 1: this is what you deserve, because we're still not there, 377 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 1: like the disparity in our pay. Don't get me wrong, 378 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: We're not complaining, but there's disparity and pay in this 379 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: industry as well. Is it much better than what I 380 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:09,880 Speaker 1: was getting? Yeah, But I feel like I'm coming into 381 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 1: the point that I am actually able to live right 382 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: to some of the extent that I had hoped for, 383 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: and that's just paying able to pay bills and then 384 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: also being able to go out to eat with friends, 385 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 1: which was not a thing. Another quote was this person saying, 386 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 1: I don't feel established in life. What I feel is 387 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: a loss of potential. And I don't know if that's 388 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: just just millennials. I feel like boomers may say that too, 389 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,400 Speaker 1: and gen xers may say that too, because they gen 390 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 1: xers whole different conversation. It felt like they had to 391 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 1: really really submit to the boomer generation of making their 392 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: parents proud. Does that make sense? Not that we don't 393 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: want to do that as millennials, but there was something too, 394 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: like those who like went through their like menial jobs 395 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 1: to put their because to college. That's the beginning of that, 396 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: I feel like, and that that I don't know that 397 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,240 Speaker 1: would be us, but it does feel like that again, 398 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: like I feel like I've lost I loved what I did, 399 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 1: but there's so much more that which I could have done. Yeah, yeah, 400 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 1: I mean honestly, this is like we could have a 401 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 1: huge conversation about it, because we haven't even talked about 402 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,120 Speaker 1: you know, there's also been medical advancement, so a lot 403 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,679 Speaker 1: of millennials are paying for their parents. You're still alive, 404 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: You're still alive, you know. Yeah, it's great, but it's 405 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: like again, like things haven't and then that's also a 406 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: time suck, Like it's just so much stuff that hasn't 407 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: shifted where it needs to. And some of it is 408 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: a lot of it is economics and having that ability 409 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:47,119 Speaker 1: to have the midlife crisis, and a lot of it 410 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,119 Speaker 1: is also just like technology changes ideology because I know 411 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 1: plenty of people who yet are like, you know, I 412 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 1: don't want the white picket fences and all the things 413 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 1: that my parents did. Point um. So it's a lot 414 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 1: of shifting things Oregon, things that should be shifting in 415 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: or not. So it's a big conversation for sure. Yeah, 416 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: and then this last quote was a little on the 417 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: nose for me. Something happens in your mid thirties to 418 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: early forties when you don't have kids. It's sort of 419 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 1: a lift off from the aging timeline. And I think 420 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: that's so true. When I see friends with kids, which 421 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: I love their kids, they're so cute and all of 422 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 1: those things, I do feel like we're in two different 423 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: age brackets. It's true that it does feel that way, 424 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,640 Speaker 1: doesn't It so like they had this level of maturity 425 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 1: that I don't understand. And I'm not necessarily envious, right, 426 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 1: but to a sort of extent, I'm like, oh, that 427 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,200 Speaker 1: is adorable and I love that. But yeah, it feels 428 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: like this is adulthood. Having kids is a true adulthood 429 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 1: that I'm not ready for that, right, And I mean, 430 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: I think that's that's something we have been fed for 431 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: a long time, is that you gotta have kids, you 432 00:23:55,320 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: gotta provide for somebody. And but you're not helping me 433 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:05,200 Speaker 1: with any programs or anything. So not really nothing, no 434 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 1: thank you. I mean it is it is if you. 435 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: One thing I've learned is typically there is a way 436 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: to make it work. You may be sacrificing something, but 437 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: you can make it work. And it might not be pretty, 438 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 1: whether it's time with your family, whether it's being able 439 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 1: to raise your children yourself, whether it's any of those things, 440 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 1: having to stay in a mayor you don't want to 441 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: for those kids. And not that that's always happened, but 442 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: you know that people do make it work and they 443 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: do survive. My parents did survive having three kids plus 444 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: me later on, and having one job and trying to 445 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 1: do all these things. They were able to do it. Again, 446 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: circumstances were different from today. I could not imagine what 447 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 1: that would look like, as things have shifted so quickly 448 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: in economics and in finances in general. But they didn't 449 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: make it. And I think that's the conversation, like, you 450 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: can do this. You think you might not be able to. 451 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 1: She shouldn't have to, but you can. And that's a 452 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 1: bigger in it self conversation. But also again, like I 453 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: was talking about my parents, they could not afford to 454 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: have a midlife crisis. And in the same report they 455 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: talk about the fact that, yeah, people wanted to pretend 456 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 1: in report like this was a common thing and when 457 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: actually only ten to twenty percent of the people ever 458 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 1: experienced a midlife crisis, even in the heightened time where 459 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 1: it was thought that it was always a thing. And 460 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: I find that fascinating. But yeah, so I'm having a 461 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 1: moment of like coming back to like, Okay, I'm getting old, 462 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 1: but I don't feel like I'm getting old. Where is 463 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: all the wisdom and all the graciousness of aging gracefully 464 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: to add to my aging physically I haven't found it 465 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 1: yet and everything is blurry, so I need to go 466 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: find my readers that I'm not I don't have yet. 467 00:25:53,560 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 1: But I wonder if a lot of that was I 468 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: don't know. I wonder if a lot of that was 469 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: a myth that we kind of observed as kids, Like 470 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,800 Speaker 1: our parents had it together at that age, that's what 471 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 1: I'll be. But really they were like, oh gosh, yeah, 472 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: I mean I think my parents, Yeah, our parents would 473 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,159 Speaker 1: my parents specifically would be like, we don't know how 474 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 1: we did it, but we did it and we had support. 475 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,919 Speaker 1: Of course, they're very religious too, so they put in 476 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: faith in there. But like, yeah, it's it's an interesting 477 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: conversation your responsibilities, what was appropriate, what isn't your expectations? 478 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 1: And yeah, we've definitely changed those as millennials and hopefully 479 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 1: for the better, and the gen Zers are doing even 480 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: more so. So beautiful, you do your thing. But it's 481 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,160 Speaker 1: it's it's a moment of like, oh god, yeah, this 482 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,399 Speaker 1: is odd we are coming into I feel like we 483 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: are a whole separate generation that has really shifted things. 484 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 1: Maybe not because I'm being very one sided in this, 485 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: but it does. It feels like this big conversations like 486 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 1: it's not what it used to be and the shift 487 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 1: has really started here, right, Yes, and I do think 488 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 1: there's also the conversation of you know, not wanting it 489 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,160 Speaker 1: as much, but also can't afford it anymore. So there's 490 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,440 Speaker 1: a lot a lot going on. And I love that 491 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 1: it was all triggered by your eye appointment, Damn doctor 492 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 1: Lee and my leaders. I love inspiration comes from anywhere. Ye. Yes, well, 493 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:35,479 Speaker 1: thank you for sharing, Savantha. We would love to hear 494 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: from you listeners about this. I'm sure you have plenty 495 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: of thoughts. You can email us at steffieia mom Stuff 496 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter 497 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: at mostuf podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff 498 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 1: I've Never Told You. Oh, also YouTube. Thanks as always too, 499 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:57,399 Speaker 1: our superproducer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Yes, 500 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,159 Speaker 1: thank you so very much, thank you, thank you, thank you, 501 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,920 Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Steph, I Never Told 502 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: You's the protection of My Heart Radio from more podcast 503 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: from my Heart Radio, you can check out the I 504 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: Heart Radio app Apple podcast wherever you listen to your 505 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 1: favorite shows.