WEBVTT - We may have a problem (not a pity story) 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.200 The interesting thing about what you're saying about sharing and 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:07.400 that that popularity is the the rise of the selfie. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.480 The human in me desires to talk to them and 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.560 to engage with them, But a lot of times I'm 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:17.639 not treated as that human. I am not giving a 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:19.360 pity story here. This is not what this is about. 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:22.959 It's just it's an observation that sometimes people I'm the 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:37.839 object of their selfie. Welcome back to the podcast, episode 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:41.400 one oh five. One of my favorite guests, Chad, is back. Pastor. 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:48.800 Chad celebrity Pastor. Don't say that because the celebrity something 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:50.920 goes wrong for them. I'm kidding. I said that for 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:53.720 a reason. I'll tell you a minute. But we also 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:57.440 have your brand new podcast that's launching you created. We 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.440 don't know, we don't have a launch date when we 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:01.200 come out. We're to take a break after we do 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:04.360 a couple questions, and I want you to tell everybody 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:07.080 the details on that and when they might find it, 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.000 how they might find it. Perfect and you're a celebrity 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:11.840 because of that. It hasn't even come out yet, you're 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:16.680 already a celebrity. There you go. Podcast. In all seriousness, 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.160 this podcast is about answering your questions. We answer your 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:24.360 questions that you write you email to Grangersmith podcast at 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:27.800 gmail dot com. Could be about any subject. They have 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:31.880 as of late gotten pretty deep, and I personally like 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:34.600 to engage in the deeper questions. What's interesting is I 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:38.160 also get a lot these days that says they want 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:42.240 you to help answer the question specifically, pastor Chad, I 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.160 need this. Sometimes it says it right in the subject 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:47.400 line pastor Chad, I need I need your help, and 0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:50.720 so that makes it even more fun that you're here. Cool. 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:53.560 I want to start with this first question and you'll 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:56.559 see what my joke was. That subject line is why 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:00.080 do we idolize celebrities? I don't no kidding, but that 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:03.440 was an interesting question. It says, Hey, Grangdeer, I met 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:06.360 you at Bristol this last weekend, and again I want 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.240 to reiterate the positive Christian influencer having in country music. 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:12.960 I'm currently reading a book called Wanting, and it is 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:18.400 about the mimetic parentheses imitation desire that we have as humans. 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.960 The author talks about the many ways that we imitate 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.520 people and I can't help but think of the literal 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:27.000 interpretation of this with celebrities. I think that you have 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:29.960 some insight on this as being a celebrity yourself. Why 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:31.400 is it that we jump up and down to get 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:34.120 an autograph or celebrity or stand in line to get 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:37.440 a selfie? Why do we listen to celebrities political or 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:40.839 social opinions when we've never even met them? What makes 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:43.640 their voice such an influence? This isn't meant to be 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:46.760 a religious question, but more worldly. I have a strong 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:49.040 group of christ follower of friends that I listen to 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:51.360 and seek their guidance. But that said, I love your 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:53.919 music and many other country musicians, and so now I'm 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.680 wondering why a little more deeply. This is a long question, 0:02:57.720 --> 0:02:59.240 and I doubt you could read the whole thing on 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:03.799 the air. Love your feedback gratefully, Josh. Thank you, Josh. 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:05.799 It's a great question, unique question. I don't think we've 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.480 got anything like this before on the podcast. And I 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:13.000 think there are very few people that would use the 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:19.000 word mimetic desire right, the idea of imitating. So yeah, 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.600 this is he There's so many layers to what he 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:26.600 talks about there, but it's true. We I mean, I 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:32.320 can remember when I was a little kid and way 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:36.800 up in small town Montana. It was a big deal 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:40.520 that we had Marcus Allen running back for the Raiders 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:44.960 was coming to our town. And the line that formed 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:48.040 in the mall. That's a place if you're under a 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.640 certain age, that's where you used to go and buy things. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.600 I don't know if they have malls anymore, I'm not sure, 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.600 but we stood in line forever for him to use 0:03:57.640 --> 0:04:02.000 a sharpie and make his signal sure on a photo. Yeah, 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:05.480 I still have that photo. They still have that autograph. 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:09.240 And it's like, why was that such a big deal? 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.920 And it was funny because I really didn't know a 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:14.920 lot about Marcus Allen. It wasn't like I was a 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.360 Marcus Allen fan. But when I learned who he was, 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.440 that he was in the NFL, and all of a 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:26.040 sudden he had more like stock. Yeah, it's crazy. I 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.039 used to go to Texas Ranger games when I was 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.120 a little kid, and I'd wait in a parking lot 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.600 at the end for the baseball players to come out, 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:34.680 and I'd just have a baseball and a pen ready, 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.920 and I didn't care who it was, and I just 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.719 wanted one of them to sign it. And usually it 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:42.960 was a guy I didn't even know which It's kind 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:45.960 of goes to what you're saying. Just their stock goes 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.520 up because they're part of that team. And I'll bet 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.120 you it's because, like if I think about my own 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:57.280 desires in that, it's because if I am somehow uniquely 0:04:57.320 --> 0:05:01.600 associated with that person who has kind of this high 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:08.480 you know, popularity or notoriety, then and I'm associated with him, 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.960 then my stock will go up. Because what's the first 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:13.360 thing I do when I get an autograph? I can't wait. 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:15.320 I have people in mind that I'm going to tell, 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:17.880 and I say, dude, guess what I got so and 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.040 so signature? Even if you go into my office. When 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:22.839 I was a little kid, I wrote a letter to 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.640 a football player and he wrote back. Now, he could 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:28.840 have been a stamp or something, but I've always believed 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:31.120 it was his autograph, and I have it in my 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:34.480 office and it's there, and I want people to say, 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:37.920 WHOA you have so and so soon, you know, because 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.640 there's this desire I have, maybe it makes me more 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:46.000 important valuable. I mean, I think it gets into some 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:53.039 of those just core human desires of identity purpose, meaning 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:57.240 that is so right, and I think to speak to 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.640 that that we've come to it. I think that probably 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:04.240 has perpetuated tenfold in the modern world, especially with social media, 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:08.320 because I know that we had celebrities in the old days, 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:10.680 you know, the you know, hundreds of years ago. I 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:14.559 know that there were celebrities, but I don't think that 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.040 there was nearly as many as there are now because 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:21.880 of social media world. Probably starting with TV was probably 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:24.000 that when you could see their face, that was the 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:27.240 that was what really kicked off celebrities, like in the fifties, 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:30.760 but even since the fifties, I think were tenfold that 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:35.640 And the interesting thing about what you're saying about sharing 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.920 in that that popularity is the the rise of the selfie, 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:44.200 because that proves even more more than an autograph. It 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:47.960 proves I was there right with those present, and I 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:51.640 could show you. And and that's what I see from 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:54.320 the from the other side of the aisle here, what 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:55.880 I see is when people come up in a meet 0:06:55.920 --> 0:07:00.599 and greet, I desire the human, the human in me 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:05.359 desires to talk to them and to engage with them 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:09.080 and to have a conversation of some sorts with another human. 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:12.520 But a lot of times I'm not treated as that human. 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.200 I am not giving a pity story here. This is 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.600 not what this is about. It's just it's an observation 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:21.440 that sometimes people I'm the object of their selfie and 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:25.080 they're not there. They're on a mission to come and 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:27.520 get and grab that selfie, and then they're on a 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.240 mission to leave to send it out to all their friends. 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:35.360 So there is an absence of true knowing or experience 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:40.520 that could happen human to human. Yes, because their goal 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:44.560 is something else. I need this instance to occur and 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:48.600 record it so that my stock goes up, Yes, somewhere else. 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:50.360 And when we go out sometimes I'll go out to 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.440 the crowd to sing a song and people will flock 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:57.120 to the to where we are, not to get closer 0:07:57.320 --> 0:08:00.560 or to get a better view. They're trying to get 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:05.360 a selfie maliciously so that they could instantly leave and 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:08.600 go and have proof that they were there. It's a 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:14.680 strange thing now that first we got to address you know, 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:18.160 the word idolize at all is. You know, we're gonna 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.720 we hate that word idol by all sense. And I 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.400 know that you said, Josh that you didn't want this 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:29.480 to be a necessarily religious question, but we're we're we're 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:35.480 called to flee from idols, and so being a celebrity, 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:38.600 I don't think you it's necessarily bad if you look 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:42.640 at it more of in terms of mentor or or 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:44.800 someone that you could you could look up to for 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.880 out of respect. And I think there's a different way 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:51.719 than than to use it the word idol. And I 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:56.040 don't think joshun in a bad way. It was Nietzsche 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:57.800 that said. I think it was Nietzsche that said the 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:02.600 human heart is an idle factor, like that we constantly 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:09.680 we can't help but exalt things, stuff people like we 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:16.280 are just disposed that way, like naturally disposed to produce worship, 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:22.320 exaltation of something, things like giving priority, allegiance, time, attention, 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:27.640 money to stuff to somebody. And so that's I mean, 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.160 that's an interesting question. I think that's what that's why 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:34.120 there's something in the way that we exist as humans 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.320 and as as a Christ follower. I would say that's 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:42.040 part of the design. And it's just a it's now, 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:44.560 it's it's fallen or it's a broken thing in the 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:46.480 way that we do that with all kinds of things 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:50.240 that are unworthy of it instead of the one true 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:53.280 thing that is worthy of it. Yeah, he is worthy 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:54.920 of it. Right once again, I'm going to go I'm 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:56.600 going to dive into religion one more time. I know 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:58.520 that that's that's what you said you didn't want to do. 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:01.959 But this is, this is so fascinating. But in the 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:05.400 Book of James, in the Bible, there's this really weird 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:11.160 little section that's just almost almost out of the blue, 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:13.480 and its information that we didn't know in any other 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.559 part of the Bible, and it's sitting right there in 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:19.080 the Book of James. And it says that I'm sorry, Jude, 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:20.360 I don't know why I said, James. In the Book 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:26.960 of Jude, it says that the angel Gabriel, so Gabriel 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:33.520 disputed with Satan over the body of Moses after he died. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:38.840 And I always thought that is so weird, like, why 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.640 is it in the Book of Jude, Why is that? 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:44.199 Why is he talking about the angel Gabriel disputing with 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:48.200 Satan about the body of Moses. And then one day 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:53.000 I had a pastor tell me that the modern belief 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:58.360 on that is that if if Satan got the body 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.840 of Moses, he could have given it back to the 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:05.480 people of Israel and they would have had the body 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:09.960 to bury and carry his bones and worship the body 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:13.480 of Moses because he was their profit, he was their savior. 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:15.400 You know that if a lot of these people were 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:17.600 ignorant to the fact of what even happened, and they 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.840 would have taken the body and they would have worshiped it, 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:23.360 and it would have become an idol to them. And 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:26.439 so that's an it. I mean, it's certainly not outside 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:28.800 of the realm of what likely would have happened. Yeah, 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:32.480 that's not that is that is speculation what I've just said. 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:36.839 But it's very interesting to think about what that what 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:40.320 that meant. And it's interesting in his question he he 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:46.480 does identify that somehow we're willing to give credibility to 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:50.240 somebody who has a celebrity status or some sort of 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:56.079 popularity to their opinions about all kinds of things, which 0:11:56.160 --> 0:12:00.760 product we should. I mean, it's just a fascinating studying 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:07.520 sociology and I would love because I've got you here right, 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:13.200 a celebrity by definition. What is it like on that side? 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.720 Are you do you ever feel like you're expected to 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:21.280 have opinions about things and that you're expected to share those, 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:25.160 or that you feel some obligation, because there are in 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:27.840 the realm of celebrity, there are some that you just 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:30.400 never hear from, you don't know where they stand on 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:35.400 certain things. And then there's some that won't like yeah, 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.560 they won't stop sharing their opinions and all kinds of 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:42.200 So from that side, what does that feel like? Do 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:45.640 you feel pressures to share or is there a hesitancy 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:50.680 to share because of what I don't know? Yes, yes 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:55.760 and yes yes. So for instance, for me, I just 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.720 kind of from day one, I decided, you know, I'm 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:02.800 not going to get political, and I've said that. I 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:06.280 said it in this way that that most people could 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:10.679 follow me for five minutes and go, okay, I got 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:14.480 a good I got a good feeling where this guy leads, right, 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:17.640 But I don't have to. I don't have to get 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:20.359 up with a megaphone and start shouting it from the rooftops. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.840 I don't have a political science degree. I don't have 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:27.440 a law degree. And that's kind of where it is 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:29.880 for me. I don't I don't feel like my voice 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:35.840 politically should be heard louder than anybody else's because I 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:42.440 don't have a reason to. Sometimes sometimes celebrities will run 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.720 in groups that other people can't run in so they're 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:50.520 hear conversations. Maybe they meet some of the politicians personally 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.240 and so they get a personal attachment. So I could 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:59.000 see that. But I met I did meet George W. 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:03.680 Only president I've met. I met George W and through 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:10.800 several encounters with him. The personal encounters really elevated my 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:14.880 opinion of him. Meaning what I saw on TV was 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:18.760 one person. But when I met him, I really liked 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.280 him even more. I liked him, I'll be honest. I 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.720 liked him before, but I really liked him after I 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.120 met him. I just thought, you could just tell this 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:31.960 guy is he cares? He cares. But I never shouted 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:33.920 that from the rooftops. I didn't think it was important 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:36.440 after me to go, don't you talk about about George W. 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.280 I've met him, and I love him. I've never felt 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:41.920 that need. But the reason I'm kind of setting it 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.240 up this way is because I think the gospel is different. 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.720 I think the gospel I don't think politics are is 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:54.080 life and death. I'm not called to preach politics or 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:58.720 anything else in that realm, but the gospel, I feel like. 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.440 I did not feel like I know that the calling 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:05.840 of the gospel is it's much different. So that's why 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:10.640 I do bring religion into my platform. Yeah, it's interesting 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:17.240 that you're able to make that kind of difference or 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:21.200 be able to separate out that line, because I think 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:25.600 people listening to this might there might be people that go, well, 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:29.840 you do use your platform to talk about your faith, 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:34.160 which you would argue is a part of who you are, 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:40.200 whereas your political position and I may make people mad, 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.240 is not a part of your identity. It's not, and 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.840 that's it shouldn't get them to fighting words for some people, 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:52.360 But shouldn't you would identify that it's not, whereas your 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:57.240 relationship with Christ is. I remember this would have been well, 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:03.360 this is a while ago, sixteen seventeen years ago. I 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:08.160 was just graduated or college. I was in a small 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:13.920 church in New Bronfles, Texas, and that morning we had 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.520 a guest pastor come in and he can't he was 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:21.480 a missionary in the Philippines. He came and preached and 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.480 at the end of the service, he invites his son 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.960 forward and asked if we a is a very small congregation. 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:33.280 I mean we're talking maybe thirty forty people gathered in 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:37.520 this elementary school gym, and at the end of the service, 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.120 he says, Hey, I would like to invite my son 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.560 to come up because and for you guys to be 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.320 in prayer for him. He's a junior in high school 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:50.400 and he we think the Lord's going to do something 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:55.600 and give him a platform through football, and so Tim, 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.560 would you come on up, Bud, And he brings Tim 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.680 Tebow to the front and we all gather around and 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.040 we start praying for this high school kid named Tim. 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:07.359 And it's just amazing to be on that side of 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:11.760 it because from the beginning his goal was not to 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:17.000 necessarily have fame and fortune. It was he was a 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:22.840 follower of Jesus and he was going to use that 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:28.080 avenue through which to glorify God, powerful, powerful, amazing man. 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:31.960 That's amazing, which is can be true for anybody, Yeah, 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.560 have any occupation. That should be the way we look 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:38.640 at it as a platform. Josh, awesome question. That brought 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:44.119 up a lot of sorry, a lot of I'm sorry. 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.119 I'm gonna I'm gonna read off some of these subjects 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:50.520 lines for you. Here we have how to teach the 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:53.240 Gospel to an unbeliever. We have in laws seem to 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:57.760 hate me. Why he says he's lost. We have a 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:02.720 podcast question, we have a speech question. Help with my 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:06.919 relationship family issues. Any of those stand out to you, 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:09.800 Let's jump into in laws. I think it was the 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.920 second one you mentioned in law's hate me? In laws 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.080 hate me? Hey Grandeur, I love your podcast and I 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.919 love your YouTube channel, says I have a problem. My 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:24.760 fiance's dad is struggling with his son and I getting 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:28.119 married soon. He keeps saying he doesn't like to share 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:30.760 my fiance and I don't love him as much as 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:34.040 he loves him, and I never will. My fiance is 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:36.240 the oldest of three. He has a brother who's twenty 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:38.840 one and a sister who is eighteen. My fiance and 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:42.199 I are both twenty four. I cannot get over the 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:44.480 fact that his dad treats me like I'm not welcomed 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:47.320 into the family, all because I'm marrying his son and 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:50.600 quote stealing him away. He gives me dirty looks when 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:53.440 I'm around, and he ignores me. What do I do? 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:58.400 All right? I need to understand that I heard you correctly. 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:06.679 There is a young lady. Yes, she is engaged to 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.720 a young man. Her name She did not tell me 0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:11.679 to stay anonymous. I'm gonna say her name is Sierra. 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:18.280 So Sierra has a fiance. Fiance's dad yes, gives her 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:23.200 the evil eye yes, and doesn't welcome her because she 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:27.359 is stealing away the son from the dad, which is 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:31.280 typically a story. You hear the mother in law for sure, 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:35.679 not the father in law, right, or you hear it 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:39.480 from the father in law if it's the daughter. Yeah, 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:43.880 that's being taken away. Yeah, it's very interesting. That's an 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:48.919 interesting dynamic. I have more questions, and I think I 0:19:48.960 --> 0:19:53.160 do have answers, But sometimes you could explain the way 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:59.720 the mother in law situation, you could explain away when 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:02.359 you see you see a mother in law not wanting 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:07.080 to give her son away to another girl, usually you 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.040 could trace that back to the husband of the mother 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:14.600 in law, the father that never honored her, that was 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:19.520 not present either physically or emotionally, spiritually, just not present 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:24.920 and left her to get all of her needs and 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:28.360 wants and loves from the son. Right. So the son 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:33.120 was providing the mother with what she needed from a man, 0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:36.720 and she can't stand to lose that to another woman. 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:40.760 It's almost like cheating. So this is a flip, complete 0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:46.040 flip flop of that story. Yeah, you're right, this is 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:49.520 this is We built this podcast based on us kind 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:51.480 of sitting in a room together. We're having a conversation, 0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:53.879 and so it makes it hard when we can't bounce 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:58.720 a couple more questions back to you, Sierra. But we'll 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:03.000 start with this. We'll start with you're asking what do 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:08.480 I do communication? This is a conversation with you and him. 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:12.960 It has to happen soon. And I would say it's 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:15.640 like a you know, a coffee shop environment, or maybe 0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:18.720 he likes a certain restaurant, and you just go without 0:21:18.760 --> 0:21:22.399 your fiance, without anyone else. You just go with the 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:28.520 future father in law, and you be vulnerable. You'd be loving, 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:33.399 you be patient with him, you'd be just completely honest 0:21:33.400 --> 0:21:36.520 to the situation without making him feel like he's wrong 0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:40.560 or making him feel like he has misguided ideas about you. 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:43.239 And you've got to prove that you're actually good and 0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:46.760 you do. You will love him, You know that, none 0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:52.679 of that. It's just it's all about I am so 0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:57.760 honored to be a future part of this family. And 0:21:58.080 --> 0:22:01.119 I just respect you as a father, and you have 0:22:01.960 --> 0:22:06.560 raised the man that I love. You've raised my husband, 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:10.320 and I will forever be grateful for the father that 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:14.000 raised my future husband, that we will then make a 0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:15.959 family one day, and I just I wanted to take 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:17.359 you to dinner, and I just wanted to take you 0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:20.360 to your favorite chicken fried steak place and just then 0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:21.800 just tell you from the bottom of my heart. I 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:23.000 wanted to look you in the eye and just tell 0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:26.280 you from the bottom of my heart that this is 0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:29.000 not lost on me what this day means, and what 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:31.560 it means to be part of your family and to 0:22:32.040 --> 0:22:36.000 make to make your son happy and to give him 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:38.359 everything he's ever wanted from a wife, and to honor 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:40.960 him and just just shower him with that kind of 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:45.840 a conversation. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you've articulated 0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:50.520 a fear he has is that you're taking his son 0:22:50.640 --> 0:22:55.879 away rather than him seeing the addition of a daughter 0:22:56.560 --> 0:22:59.480 into the family. Yes, So, is there a way that, 0:23:00.400 --> 0:23:05.320 similar to what Granger said, adding an experience or something 0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:09.800 to where you want them to clearly understand you you 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:13.399 have no intention to extract him from the family, but 0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:16.880 every desire to be involved in and alongside of him. 0:23:17.520 --> 0:23:19.680 Is there a way that you could even maybe invite 0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:23.719 you know, your fiance's mom and dad just the parents 0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:26.360 over for dinner, and that you get to host them 0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:29.840 and maybe create some regularity around them being a part 0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:33.280 of it, involved in this next step in their son's 0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:36.199 life on a regular bit. I don't know, but I 0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:41.480 think that's something around that the fear of losing versus 0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:45.040 the reality of adding or components there. I love that. 0:23:45.040 --> 0:23:47.720 That's such a great point, you know, just just making 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:50.320 him recognize that this is a this is an addition. 0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:54.200 You are now a new daughter of his. Yeah, and 0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:56.920 you you understand that, you see, you see the joy 0:23:56.960 --> 0:24:01.159 in that, and you can't wait to show him what 0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:03.800 that's going to add to his life. Chad brought up 0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:06.240 a good point that you made the mother. The mother 0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:08.880 should be involved in this dinner at some point too. 0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:10.439 I don't know if that'd be weird if it was 0:24:10.480 --> 0:24:13.439 just the dad. I like the idea of a dinner, 0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:17.359 but but at some level, I think it's important to 0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:20.080 not have your fiance involved in this because I think 0:24:20.080 --> 0:24:21.960 he would kind of jump into the conversation and it 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:24.320 might it might go a different direction, and you just 0:24:24.400 --> 0:24:27.360 kind of want to keep it focused and and this 0:24:27.440 --> 0:24:30.040 might and that that might not do anything. That first 0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:33.840 dinner might just be planning a seed and this might 0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:38.560 take years to unfold. And I'm sorry that that this 0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:42.520 is a tough situation for you. Don't don't let it 0:24:42.560 --> 0:24:45.960