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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My mother took a thirty thousand dollars loan under my

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Speaker 2: name without my knowledge. Now they refuse to pay for it.

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Speaker 2: I knew my mom had her eye on a pontoon

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Speaker 2: boat for the last year. Oh it's the pontoon boat.

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Speaker 3: Start as pondtoon boats, they always break up family.

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Speaker 2: She and my dad retired in twenty twenty two, and

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Speaker 2: while they aren't swimming in money, they weren't hurting for

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Speaker 2: it much either, or so I thought.

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Speaker 3: They certainly won't be swimming in money because they'll be

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Speaker 3: floating on it.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user credit Help scammed

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Speaker 2: on the r slash Okay Storytime suburty. They bought a

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Speaker 2: boat in February for a little over thirty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: I didn't think much of it since they always rented

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Speaker 2: a pontoon boat two to three times a year and

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Speaker 2: didn't appear to have money issues. At the start of July,

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Speaker 2: I began getting my ducks in a row to buy

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Speaker 2: a house. When I applied for a pre approval, I

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Speaker 2: found out my credit score was barely over six hundreds

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Speaker 2: and I had an extra thirty thousand dollars in debt.

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Speaker 2: I had no idea about you need to check your

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Speaker 2: bank account more. My friend even worse, it was ninety

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Speaker 2: plus days late. I told the lender the account wasn't mine,

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Speaker 2: and he said my identity had probably been stolen, but

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Speaker 2: it was probably someone close to me, as the money

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Speaker 2: would have had to go to a bank account with

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Speaker 2: my name on it. I shared a bank account with

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Speaker 2: my ex fiance and asked the bank to look into it.

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Speaker 2: They said the account had been closed a couple of

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Speaker 2: years ago when we broke up, and no attempts to

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Speaker 2: send money to it or take money from it have

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Speaker 2: been made since. I filed a dispute with the company

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Speaker 2: and the credit agencies as it was obvious to me

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Speaker 2: I had been hacked or my identity had been stolen.

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Speaker 2: About a week ago, I got a notice from the

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Speaker 2: company to my apartment, first I had ever heard from them,

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Speaker 2: saying they were going to charge off the account if

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Speaker 2: payment wasn't made. I requested more information from them, and

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Speaker 2: they linked me to their fraud department. They were able

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Speaker 2: to tell me where the money was sent to a

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Speaker 2: bank account from when I was a miner that I

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Speaker 2: shared with my mom.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 2: When I called that bank, they confirmed there was activity

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Speaker 2: on the account, and the statement showed the loan coming

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Speaker 2: in and almost all of the money being transferred into

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Speaker 2: what looks like my mom's account at the same bank.

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Speaker 2: I haven't used that bank in more than a decade.

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Speaker 2: I called my mom and asked her about it, and she,

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Speaker 2: after a long pause, said that's how they bought the boat.

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Speaker 2: They made one payment on the account and realized they

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Speaker 2: probably couldn't afford the monthly payment for the next five years.

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Speaker 2: When I asked why they hadn't told me, she said

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Speaker 2: it was because they figured I would say no, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they were right, probably, and that they had worked hard

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Speaker 2: in their lives and wanted to enjoy retirement. It ended

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Speaker 2: with them saying the boat couldn't be repossessed because it

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Speaker 2: was a personal loan. My mom suggested declaring bankruptcy. I

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Speaker 2: told them I was going to the police.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: My mom said not to do that because they wouldn't

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Speaker 2: take it seriously. What when I told her I was

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Speaker 2: going to do it anyway. She hinted that she might

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Speaker 2: have to call DCFS on me with my two year

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Speaker 2: old burdened themselves on a hot pan. Earlier this year,

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Speaker 2: simple Er visit and was told accidents happen. He's fine

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Speaker 2: regarding an unsafe home, So I guess that's child Services. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm still going to the police because declaring

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Speaker 2: bankruptcy would make it impossible to buy a house. I

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Speaker 2: just need a de event and looking for any advice

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Speaker 2: copying this for every identity theft situation I see on here,

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Speaker 2: since it seems to happen a lot where you know

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Speaker 2: who the person is who stole your identity. This is

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Speaker 2: all information you can find in this sub and others.

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Speaker 2: Step one, call the police. You are the victim of

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Speaker 2: identity theft, plain and simple. It doesn't matter who did

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Speaker 2: it or what your relationship is to them. They broke

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Speaker 2: the law and now they have to face the consequences.

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Speaker 2: Number two freeze your credit. You want to make sure

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Speaker 2: it doesn't happen again. Take the proactive route of freezing

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Speaker 2: your credit. Three, Monitor and track your credit. You need

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Speaker 2: to be alerted if anyone tries opening a line of

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Speaker 2: credit in your name. This gives you a way to

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Speaker 2: do it for free, and it shows your credit score number. Four.

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Speaker 2: Warn anyone else who might be a victim, including family

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Speaker 2: members or anyone else whose Social Security number might be

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Speaker 2: compromised by the thief. Five. Take the police report to

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Speaker 2: the credit bureaus. Give them the report number when you

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Speaker 2: dispute all of the accounts. Most of the time that

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Speaker 2: will be enough for them to take the accounts off

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Speaker 2: of your credit. It's on the creditors themselves to prove

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Speaker 2: the accounts are legitimately yours, and the bureaus aren't going

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Speaker 2: to get in the middle of it. A police report

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Speaker 2: goes a long way in clearing up your credit. Don't

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Speaker 2: take identity theft lying down, even if it's someone close

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Speaker 2: to you. If you let them get away with it,

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Speaker 2: get ready for five to ten years of bad credit

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Speaker 2: collection agencies coming after you in lawsuits. Your mom one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent committed familial identity theft, and now she's trying

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Speaker 2: to scare you into not reporting her. Don't let her

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Speaker 2: scare you. Dcfs or the same thing in other states

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Speaker 2: are typically only going to take action if there is

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Speaker 2: a clear cut sign of abuse. It sounds like a

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Speaker 2: minor burn months ago is nothing. The er staff is right.

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Speaker 2: Accidents happen. Anyone can make an online report on anyone

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Speaker 2: for anything. When it comes to DCFS, it literally means

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Speaker 2: nothing unless it's a legitimate report, and even then, the

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Speaker 2: sad state of many of these state services mean even

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Speaker 2: real reports of abuse often slip through the cracks. I

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Speaker 2: would look into a restraining order if she tries it, though,

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Speaker 2: don't declare bankruptcy. Whatever you do, just make the police

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Speaker 2: report and give that information to the company that gave

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Speaker 2: them the loan and the credit b heroes. They'll take

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Speaker 2: care of the rest. Comment her numero dos. She stole

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Speaker 2: thirty thousand dollars, potentially ruined your financial future for seven years,

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Speaker 2: threatened to put your child in a situation where they

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Speaker 2: could be taken and put in foster care for effing

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Speaker 2: pontoon boat. I filed my police report the same day

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Speaker 2: as my first post. The officer and I talked for

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Speaker 2: probably twenty minutes, and I printed out a statement from

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Speaker 2: the bank. I spoke with a detective a couple days

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Speaker 2: later for another twenty minutes. Fast forward about two and

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Speaker 2: a half weeks and my dad called saying my mom

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Speaker 2: had been arrested. What happened there? What happened to there? Father?

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Speaker 2: He said, an officer and a detective showed up at

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Speaker 2: their house asking to speak with her. When she went

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Speaker 2: onto the porch, they grabbed her and arrested her. Oh man, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's what you wanted. Whoooy. The detective, the same one

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Speaker 2: I talked to, explained they had a warrant. My mom

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Speaker 2: has never been in trouble with the law in her life,

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Speaker 2: and she got arrested on a felony. They tried talking

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Speaker 2: to her and she immediately requested a lawyer. They stopped

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Speaker 2: asking questions, but didn't let her see a lawyer right away.

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Speaker 2: My dad was furious, but the detective told him to

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Speaker 2: have a lawyer go down to the county jail in

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Speaker 2: the morning before she went to the judge the next morning. Apparently,

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Speaker 2: she and the lawyer talked and she was released in

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Speaker 2: the afternoon with a new court date. About a week later,

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Speaker 2: I get a call from DCFS requesting to meet with

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Speaker 2: me about my son. I had nothing to hide, so

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Speaker 2: I agreed to this ridiculous request. We spoke for about

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Speaker 2: half an hour at my apartment and I explained the situation.

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Speaker 2: She seemed understanding and told me that there are no

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Speaker 2: obvious issues. She just had to follow up on a report.

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Speaker 2: I'll say if I'm ever in trouble, I'm hiring her lawyer.

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Speaker 2: The case was dismissed at her next court date in

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Speaker 2: late September. The detective called me the next day and

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Speaker 2: explained the state attorney believed that they wouldn't be able

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Speaker 2: to prove beyond a reasonable doubt she intentionally stole my identity.

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Speaker 2: He said. He figured it was a BS reason because

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Speaker 2: he had documents from the bank and loan company. He

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Speaker 2: said the state attorney drops a lot of cases, even

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Speaker 2: open and shut ones, especially when it's not violent and

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Speaker 2: they have a hired attorney. She never made a statement

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Speaker 2: other than her attorney telling the detective she didn't do it.

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Speaker 2: He also said the loan company might go after my

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Speaker 2: mom in a lawsuit. By the way, we want you

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Speaker 2: all coming after us every weekday three pm when we

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Speaker 2: go live on YouTube, on Facebook, on TikTok, on Twitch,

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Speaker 2: just tap our profile and you can join us. And

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Speaker 2: if you're watching this in the future, we maybe be

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Speaker 2: live right now, literally right now, you can go check

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Speaker 2: when justice fails, right.

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Speaker 3: You must become a vigilante.

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Speaker 2: You got to take the boat back. Take the boat.

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Speaker 2: Take the boat. It's your boat.

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Speaker 5: That's literally your boat. She bought it with your money.

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Speaker 5: You're never gonna have a bouse, so you might as

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Speaker 5: well get that boat.

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Speaker 2: Declare bankruptcy. Live on the boat. Live on the boat.

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Speaker 2: Turn the pontoon boat into a house boat. You know what.

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Speaker 5: I've been on a really nice in London. They have

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Speaker 5: the river, they have a bunch of like boats and

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Speaker 5: stuff along it, and there was this really nice houseboat

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Speaker 5: that you could just kind of go in because it

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Speaker 5: was like a.

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Speaker 2: Did you break into someone's house boat? Is that what

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Speaker 2: you're realizing right now? In real time? You're like, they

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Speaker 2: had this nice boat that I just walked in and

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Speaker 2: kind of looked around. They had pictures of a family

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Speaker 2: up on the on the table, and it's like there

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Speaker 2: was a fire going some old dude, the water was running.

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Speaker 2: It was like very immersive. It really felt like someone

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Speaker 2: I think I just looked in the window. I think

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Speaker 2: that's that.

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Speaker 6: Okay.

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Speaker 2: What brings me back here is that a couple weeks ago,

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Speaker 2: the account dropped from my credit Even better, though, I

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Speaker 2: got a letter from DCFS yesterday saying the allegation against

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Speaker 2: me was unfounded. I am never talking to my piece

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Speaker 2: of trash mom again. Thank you everyone who gave me

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Speaker 2: advice and hope in my first post. It just sucks

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Speaker 2: that she's probably going to end up with a free

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Speaker 2: boat out of it, unless the loan company sues her,

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Speaker 2: which I hope they do. First comment is send the

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Speaker 2: loan company the address where the boat is kept with

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Speaker 2: a photo. Comment number two, I'm glad you took advice

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Speaker 2: and did the right thing, and glad things worked out

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Speaker 2: for you except for your parents being horrible. To give

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Speaker 2: a bit of context to the DA I've posted this

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Speaker 2: year before, but I'm not a lawyer, but I've worked

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Speaker 2: professionally with prosecution on a bunch of cases. In going

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Speaker 2: through an entire trial is crazy expensive and time consuming,

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Speaker 2: Like six figures in three years is not an uncommon cost.

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Speaker 2: My guess on why this kind of thing just doesn't

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Speaker 2: get prosecuted is because there's basically no chance of recidivism.

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Speaker 2: It's a crime of opportunity where she has a very

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Speaker 2: limited opportunity, and it's not likely to deter others from

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Speaker 2: doing this if they make an example of a couple people,

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Speaker 2: so there's no real legal benefit in spending the time

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Speaker 2: and money to prosecute. The loan company probably will sewer,

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Speaker 2: but that shouldn't really make you feel better. The loan

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Speaker 2: company issued a loan in your name based on her signature,

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Speaker 2: which they can now prove is her signature, so they

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Speaker 2: must have known they were issuing an a legal loan

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Speaker 2: at the time. If anything, I kind of wish they

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Speaker 2: couldn't recover, because, unlike other random parents, other loan companies

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Speaker 2: are likely to stop doing this if enough of them

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Speaker 2: have huge losses from issuing these loans. UH Commentar three.

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Speaker 2: Have a lawyer send a cease and assist letter stating,

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Speaker 2: since you took out a loan in my name and

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Speaker 2: then called in DCFS, you are no longer able to

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Speaker 2: contact me or my child. Attach a copy of the

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Speaker 2: loan papers and DCFS report, and if she tries to

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Speaker 2: look after that, look into a restraining.

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Speaker 3: Order and that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: WHOA, yeah it is? How'd you know? I would hope

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Speaker 2: he's getting a little bit out of it, but he's

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Speaker 2: gone no contact and if she continues to she was

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Speaker 2: trying to bring his kid into it. She was trying

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Speaker 2: to make like child CPA like reports it would ben

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Speaker 2: or unfound it was. She's a nightmare. Yeah, but there

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Speaker 2: is better off it out her. Yeah, unfortunately. But that

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Speaker 2: is the end of that story. It is the end

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Speaker 2: of that story.

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Speaker 5: I caught my cousin's fiance cheating on her years ago.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to attend their wedding.

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Speaker 2: I mean, why would you?

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Speaker 3: Why would you attend something that you know is good

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Speaker 3: to fail.

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Speaker 5: My cousin twenty nine female and I twenty nine female

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Speaker 5: were basically sisters growing up. Since we both had all

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Speaker 5: brothers and were three months apart. We had a special

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Speaker 5: bond and she would always joke about being each other's

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Speaker 5: mates of honor one day. We stayed close through childhood,

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Speaker 5: high school, and even into college, despite the fact that

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Speaker 5: I moved across country. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 5: Fun Chocolate thirteen eighty nine on the Okay Storytime Separate

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Speaker 5: It So for contact, her family owned a second house

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Speaker 5: right up the street from my home, and that's why

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Speaker 5: it was so easy to introduce her to my friends.

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Speaker 5: Over the years, this was never an issue until I

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Speaker 5: accidentally introduced her to her now fiance. Fast forward to

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Speaker 5: the summer after our freshman year of college, I moved

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Speaker 5: back home for them, and she decided to spend the

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Speaker 5: summer at her family's home in my neighborhood. We were

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Speaker 5: both nineteen at the time, but had good enough fake id's,

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Speaker 5: which we'd used to get into our neighborhood bars. One night,

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Speaker 5: we decided to go out and meet some of my friends,

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Speaker 5: who my cousin had never met. When we got to

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Speaker 5: the bar, my friends were with a group of boys

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Speaker 5: who I sort of knew, one of whom is my

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Speaker 5: cousin's now fiance let's.

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Speaker 2: Call him Dean.

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Speaker 5: Dean was dating one of my friends let's call her Shae,

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Speaker 5: but I could tell that my cousin liked him. I

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Speaker 5: got them flirting a few times, but didn't think much

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Speaker 5: of it since she knew that Dean was taken. My

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Speaker 5: sophomore year of college started at the end of August,

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Speaker 5: and I left my hometown for summer, while my cousin

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Speaker 5: didn't have to go back to college for another few weeks,

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Speaker 5: so she stayed. About two months after school started, I

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Speaker 5: got a text from Shae saying that my cousin had

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Speaker 5: stolen Dean from her and they had been hooking up

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Speaker 5: for weeks. Needless to say, the friendship between Shae and

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Speaker 5: my cousin ended. Dean and my cousin became official, and

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Speaker 5: she stopped hanging out with everyone I introduced her to.

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Speaker 5: Fast forward again one year later into my cousin's relationship

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Speaker 5: with My relationship with Shae.

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Speaker 3: Was strained at best.

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Speaker 5: One night, I got a text from Shay claiming that

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Speaker 5: Dean had been spicy texting her while he was away

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Speaker 5: on business.

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Speaker 2: oOoOO spicy business.

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Speaker 5: Dean was saying things to her like I wish you

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Speaker 5: were with me right now, and I can't wait to

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Speaker 5: see you unclothed, and even sent pictures of his unmentionables.

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Speaker 5: Shaye wanted me to tell my cousin Honestly, freaking Shae

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Speaker 5: is like an angel because she got for like her.

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Speaker 5: Opie's cousin stole Dean from Shay, and Shae is like,

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Speaker 5: you know what he's sending me pictures? I want her

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Speaker 5: to know. I told Shae I wouldn't confront my cousin

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Speaker 5: unless I had proof, since it's a huge accusation. After

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Speaker 5: which I had the unfortunate experience of seeing screenshots of

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Speaker 5: my cousin's now fiance's unmentionables. It was gross, and based

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Speaker 5: off how cocky he sounded in his messages, I could

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Speaker 5: tell it was definitely not the first time this happened.

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Speaker 5: I decided to tell my cousin and called her. I

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Speaker 5: made sure she was alone. Dean was still on his

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Speaker 5: business trip before telling her that he had been spicy

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Speaker 5: texting Shay since it was years ago. I can't remember

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Speaker 5: for Adam, but I remember assuming she would break up

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Speaker 5: with Dean. She cried, but I could tell she was

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Speaker 5: already ready to forgive him. He didn't even apologize and

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Speaker 5: made it seem like this wasn't the first time this happened.

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Speaker 5: I told my cousin because I thought it was the

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Speaker 5: right thing to do, but I was wrong. It has

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Speaker 5: totally ruined our relationship. It's now eight years later and

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Speaker 5: we've barely spoken. My cousin and Dean are getting married

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Speaker 5: in September two. I've never told anyone what happened, except

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Speaker 5: for my mom, who I know has kept the secret,

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Speaker 5: and she sent out her wedding invitations. I was shocked

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Speaker 5: to have been invited, but not shocked to have not

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Speaker 5: received a plus one. My boyfriend twenty eight mail and

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Speaker 5: I have been dating over a year, so I wanted

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Speaker 5: to bring him, assuming we could let bygones be bygones.

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Speaker 5: I rsbpdys and requested a plus one via her wedding

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Speaker 5: website as instructed on the invite. She never responded. A

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Speaker 5: month ago, I went to a bridal shower, after which

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Speaker 5: I found out her mom surprised her by inviting me. AKA,

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Speaker 5: my cousin didn't want me there. I'd be lying if

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Speaker 5: I said meeting her maid of honor, who she'd always

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Speaker 5: joked would be me, didn't break my heart into a

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Speaker 5: million pieces. My cousin ignored me the entire time, even

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Speaker 5: though I had flown across the country to be there.

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Speaker 5: After the party, about twenty of my family members headed

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Speaker 5: back to her family's house in my neighborhood for the

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Speaker 5: first time. An hour she came up to me to say,

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Speaker 5: tell me about this man and your life, in the

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Speaker 5: nudious voice you could ever imagine, right in front of

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Speaker 5: my parents. I answered politely, even though it pained me,

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00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,720
Speaker 5: but was quickly saved by my uncle interrupting with more

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Speaker 5: wine to poor pretending to slip away to the bathroom.

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Speaker 5: I irish goodbye to the party about ten minutes later,

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Speaker 5: two days ago, I received the official invitation to the wedding,

340
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,880
Speaker 5: no plus one. At her shower, I stood right next

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Speaker 5: to her friends when they were gossiping about who they

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Speaker 5: were going to bring as their dates, so I know

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Speaker 5: that not giving me a plus one to her wedding

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Speaker 5: was intentional. She knows I have a boyfriend. She asked

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Speaker 5: me about him. My boyfriend wouldn't care if I went

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00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,560
Speaker 5: to the wedding without him. But that's not the point.

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Speaker 5: It's the principal. For years, I had been taking the

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Speaker 5: high road, staying in touch with her parents, being nice

349
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,520
Speaker 5: to wear at family parties, and even try to apologize

350
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,280
Speaker 5: more than once despite doing nothing wrong. In my opinion,

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Speaker 5: I think the problem is that she doesn't want anyone

352
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Speaker 5: in the family to know about this because she's ashamed

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00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 5: that she's still like stayed with this guy who continues

354
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,560
Speaker 5: to cheat on her. After almost a decade of being

355
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,120
Speaker 5: mercilessly bullied by her for trying to be a good

356
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Speaker 5: friend and tell her that Dean was being untrustworthy, I

357
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,880
Speaker 5: feel so beat down. She didn't want me at a

358
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Speaker 5: bridal shower, and she clearly doesn't want me at her wedding.

359
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,520
Speaker 5: It feels like she's been making it so hard to

360
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 5: be there for her, just so I will slip up

361
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 5: and give her a reason to actually aid me instead

362
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Speaker 5: of choosing to cut me off because I know that

363
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Speaker 5: her future husband is a cheater. By the way, we

364
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,760
Speaker 5: would never cut you off. If you join us live

365
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,000
Speaker 5: every weekday at three PMPST on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok,

366
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Speaker 5: just tap her profile.

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Speaker 2: That's right, Just give it a tap. If you're watching

368
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,600
Speaker 2: this in the future, we could be live right now.

369
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 2: Go check.

370
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,360
Speaker 3: There's a little bit left. Stop talking her.

371
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,640
Speaker 2: I take it at this point a little bit. It

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Speaker 2: depends on how petty you're feeling at the moment where

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Speaker 2: I'm at right now. And this is not to say

374
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Speaker 2: that this is the right thing to do or the

375
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Speaker 2: wrong thing to do. It's just from where I'm sitting

376
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,120
Speaker 2: in this exact moment, my pettiness levels are telling me, yes,

377
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 2: to tell a lot of people at the wedding about that,

378
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,400
Speaker 2: not even a lot. Be tactical about it. Tell the

379
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 2: right people at the wedding. That's going to make her

380
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,600
Speaker 2: the most annoyed. And that's me feeling petty right now.

381
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Speaker 2: Is that the right thing to do?

382
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 3: No, probably not, and then if you're feeling not petty.

383
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, Sophie will give you the answer to that. Maybe

384
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 2: you just don't go over the wedding, have a night

385
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,720
Speaker 2: in with your boyfriend, and don't tactically. I don't even

386
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,880
Speaker 2: know if ruin is the right word, because she already

387
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,320
Speaker 2: knows that her husband it's already undermined.

388
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:35,000
Speaker 3: That's true.

389
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,960
Speaker 2: I think now you're just trying to be like, I'm

390
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 2: just a truth teller. What is that people want to say?

391
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 2: I just say I'm a teller of truths.

392
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Speaker 3: I'm a truth.

393
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,160
Speaker 2: That man sent me a picture of his unmentionable The.

394
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Speaker 5: Idea of flying across the country to watch a marriage

395
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 5: that a I obviously don't support b is between a

396
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,320
Speaker 5: bride that hates me and the shadiest man I've ever

397
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,840
Speaker 5: met and see ruined one of my most cherished relationships

398
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,920
Speaker 5: is an absolute nightmare. All my aunts slash cousins are married,

399
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 5: and all of the other girls there will have dates.

400
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,920
Speaker 5: I will feel so alone and embarrassed without my boyfriend,

401
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 5: which is what she wants. If I don't go, it

402
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 5: will truly be the end of our relationship, but I

403
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 5: would finally be standing up for myself This feels like

404
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 5: a boundary I need to set because no one deserves

405
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,880
Speaker 5: to be treated the way she treats me. So am

406
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 5: I the ale for not going to my cousin's wedding? No, no,

407
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,439
Speaker 5: don't gonna say name doesn't deserve you.

408
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,720
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm missing out on if you had

409
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 2: gone to the wedding and had been a problem. Yeah,

410
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,680
Speaker 2: you know eight years ago that this guy was sending

411
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,080
Speaker 2: pictures of his unmentionables, and get over it? When do

412
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,679
Speaker 2: you do it? My mother in law is manipulative, so

413
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 2: we prohibited her from seeing our child. Get prohibited prohibited ahibition.

414
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,120
Speaker 2: My twenty five male wife w twenty five female what's

415
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:50,200
Speaker 2: her name? Wendy?

416
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Speaker 3: Wendy.

417
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,879
Speaker 2: Wendy and I started dating in college, dated for a

418
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 2: couple of years before getting married, and have now been

419
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,480
Speaker 2: married for almost four years. We have one one child

420
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 2: who's six months old. AM my wife and I work,

421
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 2: so after Wendy's maternity leave ended, we had to look

422
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 2: for different daycare facilities. By the way, this comes from

423
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,080
Speaker 2: user be insane thirty two on the r slash Okay,

424
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,560
Speaker 2: storytime separated. Oh go, So the one we chose did

425
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 2: not start accepting new babies until mid August, and Wendy

426
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 2: had to go back to work mid June. From mid

427
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 2: June until mid August, we had my mom, my younger

428
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:30,639
Speaker 2: sister college age, and Wendy's mom watch Maddie on different

429
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,280
Speaker 2: days of the week. My family lives an hour away,

430
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,440
Speaker 2: so my mom came over, so my mom came once

431
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 2: a week, and my sister, who's the only one we paid,

432
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 2: came twice a week. My mother in law, Wendy's mom,

433
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,640
Speaker 2: lives fifteen minutes away, and she watched Maddie twice a week.

434
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 2: Since we were dating. Mother in law has had extreme

435
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,160
Speaker 2: trouble with controlling her temper, her tongue, and her actions

436
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,920
Speaker 2: A pause temper, tongue and actions pause. Uh. There are

437
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 2: times when I was having dinner with Wendy and her

438
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,120
Speaker 2: family and Wendy and I had to leave as Wendy's

439
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 2: mom was screaming, throwing things, slamming doors, and even involving

440
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,199
Speaker 2: me and asking if I agreed with her. She's like

441
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,399
Speaker 2: it was just like what do you think? He's like,

442
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 2: I don't know, Sue, do you have to say about this? O? Pee?

443
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 2: Don't you agree with me? Don't you?

444
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 5: Yes?

445
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I do please, of course, please don't don't

446
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 2: h hit me.

447
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 4: Please.

448
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 2: Since we got married, this has declined and we don't

449
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 2: see her every week. However, since Maddie was born, things

450
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 2: have escalated. We had several many arguments with our mother

451
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 2: in law over the summer, as mother in law is

452
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,400
Speaker 2: very opinionated and does not know how to keep things

453
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 2: to herself, a great quality in any person. You don't

454
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 2: want that. Uh. When confronted about unsolicited advice, her response was, literally,

455
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 2: so what am I supposed to do if I don't

456
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 2: agree with y'all? Just shut up and not voice these opinions? Yes, yeah,

457
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 2: literally yes? Please nailed it? Yes, please one go. You're

458
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 2: so smart. Once daycare started, our plan was to send

459
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 2: Maddie to daycare Monday through Friday. We did not want

460
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 2: Maddie to be watched by family for three main reasons.

461
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 2: Number One, daycare is consistent as long as Mattie doesn't

462
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 2: get sick. If daycare workers get sick, they have subs.

463
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,719
Speaker 2: If mother in law or my mother gets sick, there

464
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 2: are no subs. Two, my family cannot commit to watching

465
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 2: her every day for the next year, and mother in

466
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 2: law has a history of being unable to control her

467
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: anger and tongue. Three. Mother in law has more than

468
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: once given us a couple days notice that she was

469
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 2: unable to watch Maddie on a day she was supposed

470
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,360
Speaker 2: to watch, which is another reason we value daycare's consistency. However,

471
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 2: over the course of several weeks, mother in law hounded

472
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 2: and argued with Wendy, saying it was quote unwise to

473
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 2: pay for daycare when she was available and willing to

474
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,120
Speaker 2: watch Maddie all week.

475
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 5: But she's crazy, so actually it is wise.

476
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it would be unwise to leave our

477
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:55,639
Speaker 2: baby with you, the crash bang smash person.

478
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 3: The throw everything around them person.

479
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 2: Yes. We finally agreed though, to let mother in law

480
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: watch Maddie on Thursdays and Fridays and send Maddie to

481
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 2: daycare Monday through Wednesday. This would both save us money

482
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 2: and get the mother in law off of our back,

483
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 2: or so we thought. Uh oh. Flash forward to this

484
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 2: past weekend. Maddie has been sick and unable to attend

485
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 2: daycare for the past week and is also unable to

486
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 2: attend daycare this current week. Mother in law watched Maddie

487
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 2: every day last week, and there weren't really any issues.

488
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 2: Thank god, she did her job. Good good. Mother in

489
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,199
Speaker 2: law called Wendy over the phone and ask if we

490
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 2: would want her to continue watching Maddie Monday through Friday

491
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 2: and pull Maddie from daycare. Wendy told her mother that

492
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 2: we would be sending Maddie back to daycare as soon

493
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 2: as Maddie was cleared by the doctor, as we liked

494
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 2: the stability as long as Maddie isn't sick that we

495
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:46,919
Speaker 2: get from daycare.

496
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 5: So you get like socialization. There are a lot of benefits,

497
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 5: you know.

498
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's good for the child. This

499
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 2: is when it all hit the fan. Mother in law

500
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 2: became irate and started yelling at Wendy over the phone,

501
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 2: criticizing our parenting decisions and saying that the real reason

502
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 2: we wouldn't let mother in law watch Mattie five days

503
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: a week is because we were punishing her or punishing

504
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: who crazy the mother in law? Yeah, you're oh, you

505
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 2: don't have to babysit. You're punishing me by not making

506
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 2: me babiesit your child all week. Wendy assured her mom

507
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 2: that we were not punishing her and that it was

508
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 2: for logical slash common sense. Reasons why we wanted Maddie

509
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: in daycare, as even this upcoming week, mother in law

510
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 2: had stated she was unable to help with Maddie for

511
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 2: at least one day. Mother in law then yelled at Wendy, stating,

512
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 2: and I quote, you're doing Maddie a disservice by not

513
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 2: letting me watch her.

514
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 5: Moving forwards that again, there's gonna be days where she

515
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:45,120
Speaker 5: can't help out.

516
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just how it works.

517
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 5: There's gotta be days where she's probably busy, or she

518
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 5: has a doctor's appointment, and.

519
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 2: Then who watches Maddie, and then who watches Maddie exactly.

520
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 2: Wendy then became angry with her mom and told her

521
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 2: it was none of her business. What decisions we make

522
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 2: regarding Maddie as we are the parents. Yes, yeah, put

523
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 2: trip it down. Mother in law replied, oh, yes, it

524
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 2: is my business. I'm the grandmother. There are laws that

525
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 2: give me rights to Maddie even if you don't like it.

526
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 2: So now she's like threatening to steal this kid. What

527
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 2: what laws give the grandparents? There are still there yet? Then? Yeah,

528
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: there are laws that gives me rights to Maddie even

529
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: if you don't like it. And This was the icing

530
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 2: on the cake, and Wendy hung up on mother in

531
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 2: law good After we discussed what Wendy's mom had said

532
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 2: to her, I was furious. Firstly, in my opinion, it

533
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,919
Speaker 2: is way out of line to criticize the decisions I

534
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 2: and my wife make regarding raising our child. If we're

535
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: doing something that will cause harm to our baby, even

536
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 2: then do not criticize us. But if it's not that bad,

537
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 2: do not say we are doing our child to disservice. Secondly,

538
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 2: making vague threats and saying that you, as a grandparent

539
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: have rights that trump our rights as parents. Yeah, no. Together,

540
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 2: my wife and I decided that mother in law would

541
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 2: not be allowed to see Mattie at all this week.

542
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,959
Speaker 2: There are no rights such as mother in law referenced

543
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 2: in our state. We looked she would never get to

544
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: see Maddie again. Honestly, I want to say never again now,

545
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 2: but to try to not have Mattie grow up with

546
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 2: estranged grandparents, and to be gracious, we're giving her one

547
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 2: more chance. When we informed our mother in law of this,

548
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 2: she called and said she wanted to speak to both

549
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 2: my wife and I over the phone. In tears, she

550
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 2: asked why we were doing this and if it was

551
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 2: something she said, we said, yes, this is a punishment

552
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 2: this time, Yes, and exactly because she said we were

553
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 2: doing Mattie a disservice and her comments about laws. Mother

554
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: in law vehemanly denied saying anything close to what she said,

555
00:24:55,640 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 2: swearing she didn't even know what the word disservice meant.

556
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 5: So funny, she was like, you are doing Maddie a

557
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 5: disservice by not letting me watch her. And then they're like, hey,

558
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 5: it was because you made those comments about us doing

559
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 5: a disservice to Maddie, And she was like, I didn't

560
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 5: even know what that word meant.

561
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 2: She stayed up, said disservice. Who I don't even know

562
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 2: the meaning of the word, never.

563
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: Even heard about that word before.

564
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 2: What are you talking about, asterus.

565
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 5: Me using a big word like disservice, couldn't possibly.

566
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 2: That would be a disservice to people with the large vocabularies.

567
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 2: She also said she hadn't mentioned laws or rights. Mother

568
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: in law talked on the phone for over an hour,

569
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 2: swearing she didn't say any of what we said she

570
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 2: said and that either we misunderstood her earlier comments or

571
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 2: we misheard.

572
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 3: Her, or she's like, or maybe I didn't know what

573
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 3: I was saying.

574
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I blacked out. I'm just a baby.

575
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 3: I'm used a baby.

576
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 2: I don't know anything. I'm just a little baby. I

577
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 2: don't know nothing. We neither misheard nor misunderstood her. Even now,

578
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 2: days later, mother in law swears that she didn't say

579
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 2: anything negative and is telling people that she only offered

580
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,479
Speaker 2: to watch Maddie and we flew off the hand ladder

581
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 2: just out of nowhere, completely out of left field. Oh,

582
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 2: I don't even know the meaning of what. I don't

583
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 2: even know what that means.

584
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

585
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 2: At this point, the mother in law is either a

586
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 2: a pathological liar or b as a serious and undiagnosed

587
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 2: mental health issue. Growing up, Wendy thought her mom might

588
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 2: be bipolar due to her extreme mood swings and unprompted

589
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 2: by Wendy, I have also made that observation to my

590
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 2: wife before. In both of these scenarios, we do not

591
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 2: want mother in law watching Maddie alone anymore, and we

592
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 2: are seeing if we can get Maddie enrolled in daycare

593
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 2: on Thursdays and Fridays, in addition to Monday through Wednesday.

594
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 2: Are these measures? Are these measures too drastic? Is threatening? Limited?

595
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 2: No contact too much? My wife and I are sick

596
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 2: of her comments and manipulation, but we are wondering if

597
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 2: we are the a holes in this specific situation, and

598
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: there isn't edit.

599
00:26:58,320 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 3: No, you guys are not the a holes.

600
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: That's your kid.

601
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 5: She was being a crazy lady, and she was disrespecting

602
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,199
Speaker 5: your parenting and also you. It wasn't even like you

603
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 5: did anything to begin with that. You were just saying, oh, no,

604
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 5: we don't need you to babysit this week. We're gonna

605
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 5: she's gonna keep going a daycare. And then she got

606
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,479
Speaker 5: all freaked out about it, and you're like, okay, well

607
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 5: now you're never gonna babysit our kid.

608
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: It had to have come from an emotional place.

609
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 3: It's just like my child, Why you're doing a.

610
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 2: Deservice too fasts. I want her to love me and

611
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 2: I'm going to make a good and.

612
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 3: Trying to get her to call me mama.

613
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been trying to get her to call me mother.

614
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: So here comes an edit.

615
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 4: Woo.

616
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 2: This got more replies than I thought. Thank you to

617
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 2: everyone who took the time to read and offer advice.

618
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: My wife and I talked again this morning, and it

619
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 2: looks like we've got a few hard decisions to make.

620
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 2: First of all, by not allowing mother in law to

621
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 2: watch Maddie unsupervised at all moving forwards, this isn't easy

622
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: for either of us, especially for Wendy. However, we could

623
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 2: never forgive ourselves if something happened to Maddie, so mother

624
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 2: in law won't be a childcare option anymore. I feel pathetic, cowardly,

625
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 2: and like I'm a failure of a father forever allowing

626
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 2: mother in law to watch Maddie in the first place.

627
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 5: I don't I don't think you'll do everything wrong. I mean, yeah,

628
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 5: I would hope. Usually people hope that you can trust

629
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 5: a grandparent or your parents enough to watch your kids,

630
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 5: and nothing not that you know. I think it's a

631
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 5: good decision to not let her watch them in the future.

632
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 5: But nothing happened, yeah, so it's not like you have

633
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 5: anything to be guilty about there.

634
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 2: I cannot blame Wendy for not saying no, as mother

635
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,239
Speaker 2: in law is her mom, whom she loves, even if

636
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 2: she was emotionally or mentally abusive towards her, and she

637
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: doesn't want to think the worst of her, but as

638
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 2: Maddie's dad, I should have stepped up. Better late than never,

639
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 2: I guess. And by the way, it is never too

640
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 2: late to join us, except for when it is when

641
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 2: we are live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.

642
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,719
Speaker 2: But if you miss us one profile, so you can

643
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 2: just join the next and you know what it's it

644
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 2: really never is too long because you can just like

645
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 2: watch the stream after it finish. Yeah, you can watch

646
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: the stream.

647
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 3: It wouldn't be live, but you could go back.

648
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 2: So yes, I think you're totally not in use.

649
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 5: I think you made all of the correct decisions. I

650
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 5: think your baby's fine, and your baby will be fine.

651
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 5: Your baby's gonna thrive, baby's gonna thrive, your baby's gonna

652
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 5: become the ruler of the world.

653
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 2: Social butterfly or that just let's leave it at social Butterfly.

654
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: A couple other things to add that were brought up

655
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 2: in the comments. Maddie's daycare does not allow anyone aside

656
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: from the parents who signed the enrollment forms to pick

657
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 2: up children unless they're given a written permission, and the

658
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: parents need to communicate this ahead of time. We do

659
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: not live in a jurisdiction where grandparents' rights are a thing.

660
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: The only thing resembling grandparent rights or laws would be

661
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: if a parent lost custody due to abuse slash substance

662
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: abuse or something similar. Basically, we would need to be

663
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:55,719
Speaker 2: put in prison for that to happen. We do have

664
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: a will and they are not on it.

665
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 7: The end.

666
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: Whoa that is the final note? Why would you want

667
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: them on the wheel? I guess I guess you should

668
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: be right, maybe not less they took him off. I

669
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: don't know who's to say, who's to say, but you

670
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 2: should definitely not have that lady watching you kid all

671
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 2: the time. He knows she seems a little.

672
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 5: She's just very self centered, like she wants to watch

673
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 5: the kid for her own reasons and because she thinks

674
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 5: it's you know, it's a punishment to not let her

675
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 5: do it, and it's all about her, even when she

676
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 5: should be taking care of a child.

677
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, she has the energy. Is like, I'm gonna make

678
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 2: this kid perfect. Yeah, I'm gonna make this kid the best,

679
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 2: the best, you Wendy best, getting the biz best, kidding

680
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 2: the whole world. We're gonna make a million dollars off

681
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 2: in this little kid. This kid is in my investment. Hey,

682
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: it's Sam, your og host. Here.

683
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

684
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

685
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 4: My fiance lied about speaking Koreean fluently, my family husband.

686
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 3: Insulting him for years.

687
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 6: Wow.

688
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 4: Original post June ninth, twenty sixteen. I've been with Jimmy

689
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 4: for three years now. We first met in college and

690
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 4: we pretty much instantly hit it off. I'm full Korean

691
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 4: while he's half Korean, even though he doesn't look like

692
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 4: it at all. I was slightly disappointed when I found

693
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 4: out that he didn't speak Korean.

694
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 2: Pretty much.

695
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 4: Everyone in my family speaks it, so more than anything,

696
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 4: I thought it would be an issue, but it wasn't.

697
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Understands zero zero four

698
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 4: on the r slash Okay storytime Separated. He told me

699
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 4: that he didn't know it, but he was studying it,

700
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 4: which I thought was a nice gesture. He met my

701
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 4: parents for the first time, and they speak English but

702
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 4: prefer not to speak it much. My parents complained to

703
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 4: me pretty much the entire night, and even bad mouthed

704
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 4: him quite a bit because of his actions and not understanding.

705
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 4: I didn't know at the time, but I really defended

706
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 4: and although most dinners of my parents' house were them

707
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 4: being fake nice to him, I tried my best to

708
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 4: stick up for him. The first time my parents met

709
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 4: his dad and his sister, they spoke very poorly of them.

710
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 3: It was downright insulting.

711
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 4: His dad had some pretty rude and weird behavior that

712
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 4: was frowned upon. I would always talk with my parents

713
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 4: on the phone while we lived on campus, often on

714
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 4: the speakerphone, and Jimmy would kind of play dumb even

715
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 4: with my friends. Many of them were very rude to him.

716
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 4: After I told him that he didn't understand it, he

717
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 4: proposed to me at our favorite park three months ago

718
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 4: in Korean and I was blown away by it.

719
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 3: Oh that's really cute too, That's so cute.

720
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 4: I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world.

721
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,719
Speaker 4: I cried for joy and happily accepted. I was so

722
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 4: proud of him. Fast forward to last week. One of

723
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 4: Jimmy's old time friends had returned from his assignment overseas

724
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 4: and met us for dinner.

725
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 3: Really nice, respectable guy. So he starts talking.

726
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 4: And just full blown starts speaking in Korean to Jimmy

727
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 4: and I'm taken aback.

728
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 3: Oh, he doesn't know much. He's still learning.

729
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 4: The guy scratches his head and goes, Jimmy is the

730
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 4: guy who helped teach me Korean. What are you talking about?

731
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 4: And at first I didn't know what to think. I

732
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 4: was relieved and excited that Jimmy actually knew it, But

733
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 4: the more I thought about it, the more angry I became.

734
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 4: When I confronted him about why he didn't tell me sooner,

735
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 4: he said that when his mother passed on his eighteenth birthday,

736
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 4: he stopped speaking all together and just started telling me

737
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 4: people that he didn't understand it.

738
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 3: He said that it reminds him of her.

739
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 4: Which is understandable, but I don't know if I can

740
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 4: accept something like that.

741
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 3: When I told my.

742
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 4: Parents, my dad was overjoyed, while my mother had a

743
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 4: panic to look on herself as she recalled all the

744
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 4: nasty things they said about him and his family in

745
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 4: front of them. My dad seemed to brush it off

746
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 4: and fully understood Jimmy's reasoning for not speaking at anymore.

747
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 4: But I don't know if I can be so forgiven.

748
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 4: I feel like he's been secretly spying on me for

749
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 4: the past three years. He lied to me about it,

750
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 4: even my friends. He treated everyone so.

751
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 3: Kindly, even though they all at some point talked bad

752
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 3: about him.

753
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 4: I don't know if he's noble and romantic, or if

754
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 4: he's just been using it to his advantage. Our relationship

755
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 4: is otherwise perfect, and it seems like such a silly,

756
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 4: minor detail to get upset over.

757
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: But I don't know.

758
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 4: Any outside perspective or input. Am I in the wrong

759
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 4: for not letting this go so lightly? I think he

760
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 4: should have told me way sooner, and there is an update.

761
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 4: But what do we think so far?

762
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 6: Little sus, Little Sus, he has a bad memory attached

763
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 6: to speaking right.

764
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I understand that.

765
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 4: I kind of think that Op is probably maybe subconsciously

766
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 4: upset because she's had to like stand up for him

767
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,399
Speaker 4: for so long, and like she's been in so many

768
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 4: uncomfortable situations where like people were so offended by him

769
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 4: not speaking Korean, and then.

770
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 3: She's like, well, what the heck?

771
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 4: I could have just been like spared all of that

772
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 4: uncomfort and like vouching for you when everyone else was

773
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 4: against you, and you just speak it this whole time.

774
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 3: YEA, that would be frustrating.

775
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 4: I would June sixteenth, twenty sixteen, one week later.

776
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,399
Speaker 3: First, I want to say that.

777
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 4: I admit I was totally wrong for trying to make

778
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 4: this about me, and I realized my parents and my friends,

779
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 4: as well as myself were all horrible people, which I

780
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 4: agree with. I spoke with Jimmy the same day I

781
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 4: posted a thread. I actually invited him over to my parents'

782
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 4: place for dinner, but before that I stopped by his parents'

783
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 4: house to apologize to him, his dads, and his younger

784
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,760
Speaker 4: sister for everything. Because I felt so embarrassed and horrible.

785
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 3: I apologize profusely to his dad, who did nothing but laugh.

786
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 4: His dad was beyond understanding and actually spoke Korean quite

787
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 4: while I'm he actually laughed, saying that he understands why my.

788
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 3: Parents were the way they were.

789
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 4: He even told me about the story of when he

790
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 4: first met Jimmy's mom's parents in Korea and how much

791
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:10,760
Speaker 4: she warned him about their behavior.

792
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 3: He said that she explained it.

793
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 4: To him and he understood and was able to respect

794
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 4: where their concerns were coming from in terms of wanting

795
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 4: to preserve their language and all the heritage. He told

796
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 4: me it started off rocky, but they shut up so

797
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 4: fast when he surprised them and spoke it fluently. He

798
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 4: said his relationship with her parents is now stronger than ever,

799
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 4: especially since she passed away, and he calls them twice

800
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 4: a week just to chat. He said that when he

801
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 4: heard that I stuck up for Jimmy, he was proud

802
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,720
Speaker 4: of me, even though he never said anything. Jimmy's sister,

803
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 4: she's only twelve, but is super sweet and mature for age.

804
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 4: She said that when Jimmy started dating me, it was

805
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 4: the day that he started teaching and talking to her

806
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 4: and Korean again.

807
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 3: Oh, that's interesting, That's.

808
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 4: Actually really sweet. It was really precious the way she

809
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 4: described it. His dad teaches and talks to her as well, but.

810
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: She really likes it when Jimmy does it.

811
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 4: As for Jimmy and I, we've been working together to

812
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 4: resolve our can munication issues and we've spent a lot

813
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 4: of time talking all about us. I admitted all my

814
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 4: concerns and he addressed them one by one and told

815
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 4: me exactly what I needed to hear. He apologized for

816
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 4: keeping it from me for so long and told me

817
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 4: that he didn't do it maliciously. He just didn't want

818
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 4: to associate Korean with the negativity that my parents and

819
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 4: friends brought, which I find is extremely understandable. He said

820
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 4: he regarded the language as something pure that him and

821
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 4: his mother often shared together, and that he didn't want

822
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 4: to engage in with my parents and friends. He admitted

823
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 4: that it probably sounded silly, but I understood him on

824
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 4: an emotional level. He told me about how close him

825
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 4: and his mom were. We had never talked about this

826
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,760
Speaker 4: in depth before, and I cried like a little baby

827
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 4: because I could tell how much he'd loved and missed her.

828
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 3: Oh that's really sweet.

829
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: He told me that she always teas and warned him

830
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 4: about the complications of marrying a full blood Korean while

831
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 4: he was a teenager, and he didn't really truly understand

832
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 4: until he met my parents and friends. I even found

833
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 4: out that Jimmy was born and lived in Korea for

834
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 4: twelve years.

835
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,879
Speaker 3: I feel like our relationship is stronger than ever.

836
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 4: My doubts and worries are gone, and we're going to

837
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 4: be a lot more open.

838
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 3: With each other.

839
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 4: I'm ashamed I ever tried to doubt him. He has

840
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,439
Speaker 4: been speaking Korean to me a lot more exclusively since

841
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 4: I've apologized to him most probably wouldn't understand, but he

842
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 4: took me to see his mother's grave, and it was

843
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 4: probably one of the most touching moments I've ever had

844
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 4: with him. I'm kneeling beside him, listening as he told

845
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,760
Speaker 4: her about me, basically how he knew he had found

846
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 4: the person he would want to make new memories with,

847
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 4: and how he would have to go back on a promise.

848
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,240
Speaker 4: I don't think I ever cried so much in my life.

849
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,720
Speaker 4: I couldn't even stop. We had dinner with my parents

850
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 4: on Tuesday, and Jimmy spoke to them in Korean for

851
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 4: the first time.

852
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: My parents apologized for their tongue.

853
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 4: I think I didn't make it as clear as I

854
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 4: should in my original post, but after I defended him,

855
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 4: they cut back significantly.

856
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 2: Let's go that's okay.

857
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 4: Jimmy apologized for their years of disappointment, teasing them for

858
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 4: their original concerns. He told them a little about his mom,

859
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 4: and when he told them his mother's made a name,

860
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 4: my father's eyes lit up. He didn't really go into detail,

861
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 4: but he think he might have known of her family.

862
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,280
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Wow, that's really cool.

863
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 2: World.

864
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, it made him extremely chatty and open. I've never

865
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 4: seen my father so excited to talk to someone before

866
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 4: in my life.

867
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 3: By the way, we're always so excited to see you.

868
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 3: Join us live every weekday at.

869
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 4: Three pm PSD on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, whatever, Just tap

870
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 4: a profile.

871
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 2: TV tap tap.

872
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 6: I love this.

873
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:19,919
Speaker 2: How do they know each other?

874
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 6: I want to know that part.

875
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to know too.

876
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 2: It's so malicious. Is it sweet?

877
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 6: Is it?

878
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 3: I'm sure it's sweet.

879
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:29,399
Speaker 4: Or honestly, maybe they just know of her, like they

880
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 4: just grew up in the same town or something like that,

881
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 4: they didn't really know each other.

882
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 3: But the wh Yeah, I would just like see them

883
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 3: here and here, you know.

884
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 4: Jimmy also brought up that his family is planning a

885
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 4: trip to Korea this summer, and he offered to pay

886
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 4: for all of us to.

887
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 2: Come with them. Oh gosh, and he's got bank.

888
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 4: My parents haven't been back in years, and they happily

889
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 4: accepted his offer. Jimmy is so wonderful. Really, I'm lucky

890
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 4: to have him and I'll never let him go. Thank

891
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 4: you for the advice. And there's a little edit. Jimmy's

892
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 4: apology to my parents for year's of disappointment was in

893
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 4: a joking manner, not something sincere.

894
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 3: It was meant as a joke.

895
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 4: And everyone laughed about it, sort of like breaking the

896
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 4: ice or easing the tension in the room.

897
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 3: But there are some relevant comments on this story.

898
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 4: Fix Alert game Blizz says, this is all fine and good,

899
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 4: but still your parents and friends who talked crap are

900
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 4: pretty bad. Luckily, your fiance is actually Korean enough and

901
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 4: we don't need to belittle him to his face. Opie says,

902
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 4: my parents and friends are very bad for talking crap

903
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 4: in Korean when they thought he couldn't understand. I realized

904
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 4: the magnitude of their actions, and I even told Jimmy

905
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 4: that if he wanted us or just himself to go

906
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 4: low or no contact with them, then I would be

907
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 4: totally supportive and understanding of it. I think my first

908
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 4: point exaggerated the number of times they did. Then after

909
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 4: I defended him the first time, they cut back significantly.

910
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 4: If Jimmy is willing and able to forgive them, then

911
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 4: I'm just going to leave it at that. No point

912
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 4: in me forcing an issue that he doesn't seem concerned over.

913
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 4: He's a much better person than in myself for sure,

914
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 4: because I would hold it against them but Jimmy values

915
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 4: family bonds quite highly, and he wants to have a

916
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 4: relationship with my parents, and he wants me to keep

917
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,720
Speaker 4: a good relationship with them as well as for my friends.

918
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 3: I'll be cutting many of them out of my life.

919
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 4: Donnie poo Nani says, I'm sorry, but I have to ask,

920
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 4: how is Jimmy so forgiving of your parents? It seems

921
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 4: like they were being downright crap bags to him for

922
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,919
Speaker 4: absolutely no reason. Is that the custom or something? Don't

923
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 4: speak our language, we'll just talk crap.

924
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: Behind your back.

925
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: Oh, he says.

926
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 4: I'm surprised Jimmy could forgive your parents, But he's a

927
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 4: better man than I am. I'm just a little upset

928
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 4: of my own culture's exclusivity superiority complex.

929
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 3: It's just so annoying at times.

930
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 4: I feel the same way, And honestly, Jimmy is one

931
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 4: of a kind I feel like in terms of forgiveness.

932
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 4: But after talking to him about his mom and family,

933
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 4: I realized that he regards his family very highly and

934
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 4: doesn't believe in cutting ties over insulting behavior.

935
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 3: He told me that his grandparents are.

936
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 4: Guilty of this superiority exclusivity complex, and that my parents

937
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 4: seem to have had. All I can say is that

938
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 4: we'll try our best to break this cycle, at least

939
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 4: with our direct families, and I'll teach my further kids

940
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 4: the importance of respect, regardless of appearance, or race or tongue.

941
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 3: And that is the end.

942
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: Why here we go? I love that.

943
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was really sweet.

944
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 6: I was sweet.

945
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:05,439
Speaker 2: What a good guy.

946
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 6: Yeah for you for stand.

947
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 2: Up for me.

948
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 4: That really is like, good on Jimmy it for putting

949
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 4: up with all that stuff.

950
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 3: But I guess if he understands it. Some some people

951
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 3: are just like that.

952
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 6: That's you know, that's story. That was really sweet. My

953
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 6: girlfriend was cursing in front of the kids at dinner.

954
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 6: Now she thinks everyone hates her. What the f I

955
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 6: thirty seven male told my girlfriend thirty four female while

956
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 6: my family was giving her bad looks, And now I'm

957
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 6: on tweak two of drama because of it? Is this salusible?

958
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 6: I am having a hard time right now because my girlfriend,

959
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 6: whom I love, has decided that my whole family hates her,

960
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 6: and I'm also against her because of what happened when

961
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 6: my brother and his family visited. By the way, this

962
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 6: comes from girl Dad four on the r slash Okay

963
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,319
Speaker 6: story Tom Selbredd So for a little backstory, we have

964
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 6: been dating for a little over a year. I'm a

965
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 6: solo parent. Mother is deceased of two amazing little girls,

966
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 6: six and almost nine. She has three great kids. It's

967
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,240
Speaker 6: fifteen female, fourteen mal and nine female. My brother also

968
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,840
Speaker 6: has three kids combined eight and comes to visit about

969
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 6: once or twice a year for four to five days.

970
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 6: My mom lives very close to me and I see

971
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 6: her almost daily. She helps me with so many things

972
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 6: and has really been my rock through difficult times becoming

973
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 6: a full time single dad, and I also work full

974
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 6: time as a professional engineer. It's also important to say

975
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 6: that during this her kids were on a trip with

976
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 6: their grandmother for two weeks and she stayed home to work. Recently,

977
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 6: my brother visited and we had dinner at my mom's house.

978
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 6: During the dinner, my girlfriend was cussing a lot in

979
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 6: front of the kids and everyone. She is definitely a cursor,

980
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 6: but it's never been an issue for me, and to me,

981
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 6: it doesn't seem out of the ordinary. Just loudly saying

982
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 6: f and crap at dinner table with all the kids present,

983
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 6: and my mom's natural reaction was to give her a

984
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 6: dirty look. She took this as an insul and quickly

985
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 6: left after dinner without barely saying goodbye. I tried to

986
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 6: play it off, but it wasn't hard to see it

987
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 6: wasn't normal. She's usually the one who hugs everyone before

988
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 6: she leaves, etc. The next day, after she slept over,

989
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 6: she said she wanted to spend the whole day with us,

990
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 6: and we had a bunch of activities planned. She just

991
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 6: needed to go home and get pretty fast forward the

992
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,280
Speaker 6: whole day, and she texted me through the day saying

993
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 6: I'll be there soon, but we didn't see her.

994
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 2: Until about four o'clock.

995
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 6: It was a little awkward for me, as I told

996
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,879
Speaker 6: everyone she was coming in the morning. After my brother left,

997
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 6: we talked about it and I told her I didn't

998
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 6: like her saying something and not following through. I would

999
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 6: have been fine just for her to spend the day

1000
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 6: doing whatever she wanted and meeting up for dinner or

1001
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 6: not at all. I just really dislike it when I'm

1002
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 6: told one thing and she does another.

1003
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 2: Agreed.

1004
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 6: I expressed that to her, and it's so begun, she said,

1005
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 6: I compare her to my ex reason why I'm sensitive

1006
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 6: to the i'll see you soon thing, and my mom

1007
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 6: was comparing her to my ex and I was being

1008
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 6: unreasonable for wanting her there every second. In Eric quotes,

1009
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 6: I do want her there, but also understand sometimes first

1010
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 6: introductions are better little by little. And she was high anxiety,

1011
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,720
Speaker 6: so it's all good. I told her exactly that before

1012
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 6: and after, but I stuck to not wanting to be

1013
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 6: strong along. Next, she said my mom was giving her

1014
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 6: a bunch of dirty looks, So I told her, likely

1015
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 6: why because she was dropping F bombs at the table. Well,

1016
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 6: I might as well have said that everyone I know

1017
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 6: and myself hate her as a person and want her

1018
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 6: to be a robot. The exact phrasing is, I'm not

1019
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 6: gonna censor myself with the.

1020
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 7: F Dude, I don't know the comparisons of the exes.

1021
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 7: That's a big red flag. The fact that she's getting

1022
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 7: upset that, like I should have censored myself. Just don't

1023
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 7: say it in front of kids, like there's some time

1024
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 7: and a place for things.

1025
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 6: This led to a bunch of arguing, not yelling, but

1026
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 6: just talking. If I only got to the point I

1027
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,359
Speaker 6: was about to just throw the talent, and she backed off.

1028
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 6: I will go into detail, but I said, I respect

1029
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 6: her feelings, but she she has to respect mine too,

1030
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 6: and just because someone didn't like her word choice doesn't

1031
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 6: mean they hate her. My mom loves her, by the way.

1032
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 6: She also said she won't change for anyone, and if

1033
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 6: I have a problem with it, it's my problem.

1034
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:12,760
Speaker 7: Okay.

1035
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 6: She quickly backed off after I basically repeated back to

1036
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 6: her what she said. No, my daughter's birthday is tomorrow.

1037
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 6: I also coach her basketball team, so we won't be

1038
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 6: able to do birthday dinner until late. So I said

1039
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 6: I would just take her out to a restaurant and

1040
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 6: we could celebrate more the next day, Halloween. My girlfriend

1041
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 6: said she wanted to cook and she would make dinner happen,

1042
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 6: but she didn't want my mom to help cook or

1043
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 6: be around. I told her, I'm not going to play

1044
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 6: referee and she just needs to talk to my mom

1045
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 6: if she feels like this. Still, I just want the

1046
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 6: birthday girl to have a nice dinner. We had the

1047
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 6: party this weekend. My mom is totally oblivious to all this.

1048
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 2: I should add.

1049
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 6: Now she's mad again, saying I'm not respecting her boundaries

1050
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 6: and feelings. I am saying she isn't considering the birthday

1051
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 6: girl and just it's my fault. She needs to feel

1052
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 6: like crap and she wants to not only cancel cooking

1053
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 6: for the birthday girl, but Halloween as well.

1054
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 7: Okay, I can't curse and I can't represent myself and

1055
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 7: be obnoxious, So if that's gonna happen, I'm gonna yone

1056
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 7: everyone's day.

1057
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 2: I do break up.

1058
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 6: I'm emotionally exhausted by this now, and in my mind,

1059
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 6: what should have been simple communication that needs to happen

1060
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 6: for a strong relationship is now just as spiraled out

1061
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 6: of control. Is just now has spiraled out of control.

1062
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 6: I do feel she's making everything about herself and being selfish.

1063
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 6: But what if I told her, I might as well

1064
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 6: tell her she is fugly, smells and everyone ates her.

1065
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 7: I wouldn't add a field to this fire. I would

1066
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 7: just leave the fire.

1067
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 2: Be am I the a hole.

1068
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 6: I really do love her and starting imagining her futures together.

1069
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 6: I was even thinking about her and her three kids

1070
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 6: can move in with us in the future.

1071
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 2: Edit.

1072
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 6: A lot of people were asking Timeline, my ex wife

1073
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 6: abandoned me with an eighteen year old month and a

1074
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 6: four year old about five years ago. Additional edit then

1075
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 6: passed about eighteen months after that. When we were legally divorced.

1076
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 6: We interdew kids after dating six months. I had a

1077
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 6: relationship before her that lasted six months and ended anticably,

1078
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 6: but I never talked to her. She cusses and sometimes

1079
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 6: in inappropriate situations, but in this instance was just over

1080
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 6: the top. Our first year was basically great. That's why

1081
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 6: I fell in love with her. We had few arguments,

1082
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 6: but I'm not a very argument of person, and I've

1083
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 6: never yelled or get super angry. When we went on

1084
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 6: a romantic getaway, snowboard hiked, kayaked, camped, boating, all sort

1085
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,240
Speaker 6: of great times with and without kids. This all honestly

1086
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 6: came out of left field. But maybe I missed some signs.

1087
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 6: It's hard to see red flags wearing rose colored glasses.

1088
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 6: I see the overwhelming sentiment, and I am having a

1089
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 6: lot of thinking to do. I stood my ground today

1090
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 6: and just said we will be doing our own thing

1091
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 6: for the birthday dinner with just my little family and grandmother.

1092
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,280
Speaker 6: She did not take it well and started to escalate

1093
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 6: to the point she almost blew the whole relationship up,

1094
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 6: but back down when she realized I was going to

1095
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 6: let that happen. We argued and I talked over tag

1096
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 6: and it's now down to her saying I eft everything up.

1097
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 6: I said we needed to talk this out in person

1098
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 6: this weekend. I don't think we'll do Halloween together tomorrow

1099
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 6: night either. I think I need to go very low

1100
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 6: contact with the kids until further notice. Basically, he needs

1101
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 6: to figure this out first with.

1102
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 7: Her and then he can like, oh, one hundred percent,

1103
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 7: that's smart. I was gonna say, op Opie's doing all

1104
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 7: they can to just make this as easy as possible

1105
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 7: and just like have like an actual conversation. Yeah, and

1106
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 7: any time it's just like it seems like his words

1107
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 7: are just affecting her immediately.

1108
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 6: I want to update everyone and also think the community.

1109
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 6: I took some of your advice and stood my ground

1110
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 6: on pretty much everything. I set boundaries around my daughter's

1111
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 6: birthday dinner, which went great. She did stop by the

1112
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 6: restaurant for a few minutes and give her some balloons.

1113
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 6: She tried to clarify for me that it's not that

1114
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 6: she didn't want my mom around, she didn't want to

1115
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,240
Speaker 6: be alone with her cooking, which is bs either way.

1116
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 6: In my opinion, and I told her that that type

1117
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 6: of request was going to be a deal breaker for me.

1118
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 6: We met and talked honestly. We both said we do

1119
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 6: love each other, and I explain these behaviors were simply

1120
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 6: not okay good. She apologized and basically we made up.

1121
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 6: We also did go trigger treating together on Halloween. It

1122
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 6: was good times good. A week goes by and we

1123
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 6: see each other once and it was pretty good, but

1124
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 6: she seems weird about going to my house. Now, okay,

1125
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,839
Speaker 6: well we'll go to yours, no biggie, or go out

1126
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 6: to lunch. It gets to Saturday and we had made

1127
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 6: loose plans to go out dinner and drinks together, and

1128
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 6: I decide to cancel. I was exhausted and was an

1129
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,800
Speaker 6: idiot the night before and stayed up really late talking

1130
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 6: on the phone to my college roommate I talked to

1131
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 6: once or.

1132
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:38,760
Speaker 2: Twice a year. Whiskey was involved.

1133
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 6: I apologized profusely and said, I am an idiot, but

1134
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 6: I can tell something is off. The next day, try

1135
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 6: to make it up to her and tell her we

1136
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 6: can go do anything with the kids or no kids.

1137
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 6: Tuesday again, I try to get us together as in

1138
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 6: last Tuesday, so it begins. She doesn't want to see me,

1139
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 6: and everything in the relationship has been all about me

1140
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 6: and to my benefit. I apologize more. But when I think, wtf,

1141
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 6: I have done everything for this woman, and we do

1142
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 6: her place and plans at least half of the time.

1143
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 6: I remember some of your comments, I just flat out

1144
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 6: said that's bullcrap. Multiple very long texts later, I have

1145
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 6: spelled it out for her why I think it's bull crap,

1146
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 6: and also sped out to her all of her terrible behavior.

1147
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 6: I started remembering red flags I ignored and basically laid

1148
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 6: it all on the table. She immediately apologized profusely, and

1149
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 6: she said she was terrible. She never does anything right.

1150
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 6: I deserve better. I feel like this is manipulation. I

1151
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 6: texted back simply said I needed to sleep on it.

1152
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,799
Speaker 6: I woke up Wednesday morning and called her and broke up.

1153
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 2: Oh wow, we're done.

1154
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 7: She's using her I don't know. It's like she's just

1155
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 7: regognizing it. Yep, she's weaponizing it, and she's trying to

1156
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 7: make you like to stay and you know, make you

1157
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 7: feel worse. I don't know.

1158
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 6: I sent another long message about all my reasons as well,

1159
00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 6: she says she's heartbroken, apologies, reality sets, and I am done.

1160
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 6: That's pretty much it. I'm pretty much sad about it.

1161
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 6: First year was amazing. I really thought I found the

1162
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,840
Speaker 6: one time to pick up the pieces and apologize to

1163
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 6: my daughters for picking the wrong one. I will keep

1164
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 6: in touch with her kids if they want. They are

1165
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 6: great kids. Her son does a bunch of yard work

1166
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 6: for me, and her oldest daughter is a great babysitter.

1167
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 6: I pay them both pretty good when they do too.

1168
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 6: Probably done dating for a while, Time to focus on

1169
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,800
Speaker 6: myself and our little family.

1170
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 2: Edit.

1171
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 6: I see a lot of people really dragging mine now x.

1172
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 6: Her drama was too much for me, for sure, but

1173
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,880
Speaker 6: to call her some sort of mental case with a

1174
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 6: hidden agenda to control me is a bit much. I

1175
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 6: have lived through someone who had a legit personality disorder,

1176
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 6: and this was not it. She's just anxious and insecure,

1177
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 6: and that brings out the drama. What she was doing

1178
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,760
Speaker 6: was manipulative, but I honestly think it was not coming

1179
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 6: from a place of malice. She just needs to maybe

1180
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 6: go to some therapy and deal with her unresolved past emotions.

1181
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 6: She learned these behaviors were okay from someone else, and

1182
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 6: it's okay for you to join us live every weekday

1183
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:04,320
Speaker 6: at three PMPST.

1184
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 2: Just tap our profile.

1185
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 7: Good on OP. He understands the situation and he knows

1186
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,959
Speaker 7: what's best for him and his family. But he also

1187
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 7: was like, listen, I appreciate the kids and pretty straightforward.

1188
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 7: It's like a simple, clean breakup. And he's also like

1189
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 7: kind of defending viet now X, like don't muddy her name. Yes,

1190
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 7: I get it. It was crappy, but you know, what's

1191
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 7: done is done.

1192
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 6: She is a good mom and provides for her kids

1193
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 6: and had a long toxic marriage to a control freak.

1194
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 6: She's not calling me names or blowing up my phone

1195
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:31,640
Speaker 6: or any of that. I am not going to block her.

1196
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 6: We will cross paths. My oldest daughter will be in

1197
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 6: her youngest daughter's class in middle school. Do people really

1198
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,879
Speaker 6: just go all scorts earth after every failed relationship? That's

1199
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 6: just sad. No one is perfect. Everyone has tendencies to

1200
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 6: do selfish things. Thanks for those of you giving constructive

1201
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 6: feedback and you're so welcome.

1202
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 7: I like that.

1203
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 2: That was good.

1204
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 7: I like what he said at the very end there,

1205
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 7: like we can be cordial, We could be adults like

1206
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 7: I want everything to be okay and our families are

1207
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 7: still good. It's just maybe a relationship isn't what's best

1208
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 7: for us.

1209
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 6: But what's best for you is this next story we're

1210
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 6: going to read to your sweet little ears.

1211
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 7: Love it.

1212
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John he Ogos here.

1213
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1214
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 1: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1215
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 2: My girlfriend is obsessed with taking care of animals. I

1216
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 2: feel neglected.

1217
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 7: I don't know if he Maybe you're the animal.

1218
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 2: I'm trying to keep this as anonymous as possible. Here

1219
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 2: we go. My girlfriend loves animals. She's a legal secretary

1220
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 2: as her job, and also works as a small animals

1221
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 2: specialist on the side. She's worked as a small animal

1222
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 2: specialist for four years and after getting her quote real job,

1223
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 2: decided to keep her other job for fun. At home.

1224
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 2: We have two dogs and two cats. All are her pets.

1225
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user too many Pets

1226
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 2: on the r slash okay stories I'm sub Reddit. Her

1227
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 2: jobs are highly demanding, and when she isn't working, she's

1228
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 2: in the den organizing huge dog adoption events. Every four

1229
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 2: or five months. She manages to bring about sixty dogs

1230
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 2: up from put down shelters around the United States and

1231
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 2: finds every dog a home.

1232
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,720
Speaker 7: Okay, I already already side with her.

1233
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 2: And I think that's a cool thing she does. She

1234
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 2: literally stays up up until three am, planning flights and

1235
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 2: managing people to get the dogs securely to the holding center,

1236
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera, and then wakes up at six

1237
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 2: am and goes to work until five pm, and then

1238
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 2: goes to her other job until ten pm and comes

1239
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 2: home and repeats the process. On her days off, she's

1240
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:17,240
Speaker 2: taking her dogs to the park or going on hikes.

1241
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:20,280
Speaker 2: She lavishes her pets with new beds and the best food,

1242
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 2: and when she's working, she has the dogs go to daycare.

1243
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 2: As you can see, her days are filled with animals,

1244
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 2: and I feel like I'm not even a part of

1245
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 2: this relationship. When she isn't with animals, she's reading or

1246
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 2: doing her own thing. We've been out to dinner maybe

1247
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 2: twice in the past month. She isn't distant or rude.

1248
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 2: She always lets me in on what she's doing and

1249
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 2: asks if I want to help, or asks if I

1250
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 2: want to go to the park with her or on

1251
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 2: a hike, but I don't want to because it's always

1252
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 2: about the animals and not me. Last night, before we

1253
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:48,479
Speaker 2: went to bed, she said she was thinking about getting

1254
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 2: a tree frog to put in the den because she

1255
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 2: really likes the calming presence they give off. I just

1256
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 2: think that is the straw that broke the camel's back,

1257
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 2: because I told her that's insane. Buddy, do you just

1258
00:54:58,640 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 2: hate animals?

1259
00:54:59,560 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 4: Bro?

1260
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Look, there are people who are nature people,

1261
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 2: there's people who are not. If you're not a nature person,

1262
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 2: and you, I guess, just despise other living creatures that

1263
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 2: take the attention away from you, don't be in a

1264
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 2: relationship with somebody who loves animals. I told her that

1265
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: I'm tired of all the animal stuff she's involved in.

1266
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 2: I told her she needs to grow up, and I

1267
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 2: told her absolutely no to the tree frog idea. At first,

1268
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 2: she was quiet, but then she said something about how

1269
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: animals are her passion and what she does isn't stupid,

1270
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 2: and she'll never get tired of animals, and that I

1271
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 2: have my own hobbies too that she doesn't think are

1272
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 2: stupid and childish. She then said that tree frogs are

1273
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 2: close to nothing maintenance wise, and they're just pretty. Then

1274
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 2: she started getting upset and cried and left the room,

1275
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 2: and when I woke up, I found her asleep on

1276
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 2: the living room floor with the dogs. It's not like

1277
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 2: we're being overrun with animals, but the amount of them

1278
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:50,720
Speaker 2: in my life is aggravating. She even brings random lizards

1279
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:52,959
Speaker 2: home and nurses them back to health. Isn't this all

1280
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 2: a little insane?

1281
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 7: No, dude, this is like so sweet.

1282
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're insane, but your lack of

1283
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 2: empathy makes me think you could be as so bro

1284
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 2: She's always loved animals, but now that she makes a

1285
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 2: substantial amount of money, she does more than ever. I

1286
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 2: don't get it. Now she wants another animal to fall

1287
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 2: over and spend hundreds of dollars on each week. No,

1288
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 2: I guess I'm just venting. For the most part, I

1289
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 2: feel bad for the way she feels, but I still

1290
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 2: think the time she invests in animals is insane, and

1291
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 2: since she's in a relationship with me, she should act

1292
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 2: like it.

1293
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 7: If there's only one reason, I would be like, oh, okay,

1294
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,239
Speaker 7: the girlfriends isn't saying? Is I like the animals are

1295
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,319
Speaker 7: not doing well? Or like she's doing a poor job

1296
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:28,280
Speaker 7: at it, unless.

1297
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 2: She's like stealing them from people, or she's just.

1298
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 7: Doing bad stuff, and it sounds like she's doing nothing

1299
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 7: but not Joel work.

1300
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 2: Sounds like this is. She's extremely passionate about it, and

1301
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 2: she loves it. She loves animals. The only people who

1302
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 2: are gonna be on your side are people who hate animals,

1303
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 2: like you. Apparently from simple logistics, why would you tell

1304
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:44,919
Speaker 2: her to grow up? She is a grown up, and yes,

1305
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 2: animals are her hobby. She makes time for her hobby.

1306
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 2: I think you're just resentful because you aren't spending time

1307
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 2: with her. She has a right to be upset with

1308
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 2: what you said. Why don't you sit her down and

1309
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 2: just explain you think her hobby is great, but it's

1310
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 2: time consuming. You would like to spend more time with

1311
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:01,360
Speaker 2: her and do other things besides doing something animal related.

1312
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:04,399
Speaker 2: Think of some activities you both haven't experienced and not

1313
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 2: related to your hobbies. Create a hobby you both can

1314
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 2: do that way, you can set some time aside for

1315
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 2: it every week. Ope, heavily downhill. I love that I

1316
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,680
Speaker 2: told her to grow up because she's spending thousands of

1317
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 2: dollars on dogs to fly them from to and fro

1318
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 2: when she could be using that money on homeless children.

1319
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 2: I mean, if she was that determined to donate or

1320
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 2: give away her money, maybe that's what she should be doing.

1321
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 2: And there's no hope. This guy has no hope. I've

1322
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 2: no hope, this guy curse the darkness. I was with

1323
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 2: you up until this statement. Who the heck are you

1324
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 2: to decide what charities are important? There are millions of

1325
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,440
Speaker 2: charities in the United States. Is every single one that

1326
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 2: you don't agree with wrong? Are you the only person

1327
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 2: in the world who gets to decide what's important? Your

1328
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 2: basic issue with your girlfriend is that she doesn't have

1329
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 2: enough time for you, which is a perfectly rationable reason

1330
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 2: to break up. But to try to tear down her

1331
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 2: work that she's so passionate about just makes you look

1332
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: like an immature.

1333
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 7: Butthole, big butthole, big stinky butthole. Also, it's her frickin money,

1334
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 7: whatever she wants with it, fluffy bunny butts.

1335
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 2: Oh yes, then you'd be riding about how your girlfriend

1336
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 2: is to focused on homeless children and still doesn't pay

1337
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 2: attention to you.

1338
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 5: Facts.

1339
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 7: Facts, that's funny.

1340
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: Why should my girlfriend obsessed with homeless children? Instead of me.

1341
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: I think she might be obsessed with all these animals

1342
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 2: because you suw she likes helping people.

1343
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 7: What do you do? It sounds like you don't do anything.

1344
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 2: Op replies No, I see the point in donating money

1345
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 2: to homeless children and actually doing something about it is

1346
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 2: even cooler. I honestly don't understand why she needs to

1347
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 2: dedicate so much time to animals. After reading comment after

1348
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 2: comment about how I didn't support my girlfriend or care

1349
00:58:28,960 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 2: about her passions, I started to see where I was wrong.

1350
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Oh yeah, you were just stumbling around in

1351
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 2: the dark. I do care about her passions. I personally

1352
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 2: am burnt out of animal care. I should have communicated

1353
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 2: that better besides blowing up on her. I still, no

1354
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 2: matter how many protesting comments I get, will never understand

1355
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 2: why she donates so much money to jest animals and

1356
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 2: not anything else. That was why I told her to

1357
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 2: grow up that and I think her passion for animals

1358
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 2: is childish, sort of in the way that kids love

1359
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 2: fairies or mermaids.

1360
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 7: Hey guess what, those aren't real, dudes, those aren't real.

1361
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 7: You know you are actually such a joke right now?

1362
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 2: Ope, you're completely uninsed right.

1363
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 7: I love how you're writing this, like you think I

1364
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 7: know what I'm doing here. This is right, and everyone's

1365
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 7: gonna decide with me.

1366
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a phase that she never grew

1367
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 2: out of. I love dogs, too, but her deep love

1368
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 2: of animals is something I looked over because she always

1369
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 2: had good jobs and she is very pretty. I think

1370
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 2: a lot of people were misguided in calling me a

1371
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 2: d bag simply because I missed spending time with my girlfriend. No,

1372
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 2: I'm not jealous of lizards. I think it's absurd to

1373
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 2: come home and find her bandaging up some lizard's foot,

1374
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 2: or open my fridge to find a tub of meal

1375
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 2: worms to give said lizard. I've always always loved how

1376
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 2: dedicated she was to things. No, you didn't, No, you

1377
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 2: don't know, you don't, you don't, You really don't. You're lying.

1378
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 2: Whatever she's doing, she's giving one hundred percent. I just

1379
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 2: wish she directed that passion to things that really really matter.

1380
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,439
Speaker 2: Helping animals is nice and all, but it's not really

1381
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 2: changing the world. However, I am still deeply in love

1382
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 2: with the beautiful, sensitive, loving girl I met five years ago,

1383
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 2: and all the comments made it clear that I was

1384
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 2: being rude to her. So I wrote her up an

1385
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 2: apology letter and went to the nearest pet score to

1386
00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:59,680
Speaker 2: get her a tree from I got the tank and

1387
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 2: land and even crickets. I set up the whole tank

1388
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 2: in the den where she wanted it and named the

1389
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 2: tree frog Jinx. I thought my apology and me buying

1390
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 2: the tree frog would help her see I care and

1391
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 2: that her passions are cool anyway. I waited for Jessica

1392
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 2: to get home, and finally, when she did, I told

1393
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 2: her to go look in the den. She seemed upset

1394
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 2: still and said, thank you for the tree frog. I

1395
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 2: actually bought one before I got off work and had

1396
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 2: a friend set up the tank for me. It's in

1397
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 2: my car. I'm gonna go get it. Thank you. She

1398
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 2: brought the tank in and asked if we could talk

1399
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 2: for a little bit in our room because she had

1400
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 2: some things on her mind. She said she didn't want

1401
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: to jump to conclusions, but our relationship wasn't heading in

1402
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,840
Speaker 2: the direction she wanted, and maybe I should find someone

1403
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,120
Speaker 2: more suited to what I like, maybe a more quieter,

1404
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 2: less busy life. I explained to her that I love

1405
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 2: her deeply, I just want her to tone down her

1406
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 2: animal life, and she said she can't because it's not

1407
01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 2: only her passion, but all the money she makes from

1408
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 2: being an animal specialist goes to the animals for adoption,

1409
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 2: vet care, housing, and money to the people who foster

1410
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 2: the animals. When she can't, she said, if she toned

1411
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 2: anything back, she would be losing a huge part of

1412
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 2: her and I thought she was being extreme. I told

1413
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 2: her I loved her and if that's her choice, She said,

1414
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 2: she loved me too, but my action showed I can't

1415
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 2: and won't support her. She then referred to many times

1416
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 2: in our past when I refused to show up to

1417
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 2: her adoption events, and most memorable for her was when

1418
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 2: I wasn't there when she was accepting an award. It

1419
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 2: all became very clear that she didn't want to be

1420
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:22,200
Speaker 2: with me anymore, and once again she was choosing animals

1421
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 2: over me. She literally had sources side up all the

1422
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 2: times you didn't show up for her. That meant something

1423
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 2: to her. You actually don't care about Jessica. Is that

1424
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 2: blowing your mind right now? You don't care about your

1425
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:40,880
Speaker 2: girlfriend because you want to literally change her into someone

1426
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,920
Speaker 2: she's not. I accepted it and told her to live

1427
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 2: her life as she pleases. I told her that I

1428
01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 2: thought she should give money to homeless children too, and

1429
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 2: she said, sure, but do you know any organizations I

1430
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,920
Speaker 2: could help with? But I didn't have any suggestions, and

1431
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 2: I was already angry and felt like she was giving

1432
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 2: me a slap to my face. Yeah, because you literally

1433
01:01:58,040 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 2: have anything but.

1434
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 7: That comment your own face. Do you keep up, dude?

1435
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 2: You have to?

1436
01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 7: Oh man, this guy needs a real evaluation.

1437
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 2: She said that I was missing the point. We ended

1438
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 2: the conversation shortly after that, with us splitting up and

1439
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 2: her saying there are things in life that I don't

1440
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 2: understand and she can't make me understand, and it's just

1441
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 2: as frustrating for the both of us. I agree with

1442
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 2: her about the frustration part. But you know who knows

1443
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 2: definitely knows everything boo us, which is why you should

1444
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 2: join us whenever we go live on Facebook, on YouTube,

1445
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 2: on Twitch, on TikTok every weekday at three pm PSD.

1446
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:30,439
Speaker 2: All you gotta do is tap our profile out, tap

1447
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 2: it in. She said that I can spend as much

1448
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 2: time as needed to clear my head, and I'm allowed

1449
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:36,680
Speaker 2: to stay here until I find a new place to

1450
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,280
Speaker 2: live in. Unfortunately, the house is hers, and life is

1451
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 2: going to be weird to adjust to alone. But she's

1452
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 2: right that it will be less busy and more quiet,

1453
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:46,080
Speaker 2: which I'm excited and looking forward to. I'm also happy

1454
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 2: about not having to share my home with a tree frog,

1455
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 2: her two dogs and two cats and whatever other critters

1456
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 2: she brings home for the night. More top comments. Oh crap,

1457
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,560
Speaker 2: it's not even your house. I thought it was at

1458
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: least shared. You tried to tell an animal lover who

1459
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 2: helps more than not to get another animal in her

1460
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:05,400
Speaker 2: own home. You're a special kind of stupid and from

1461
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 2: soft corn pop? Did you seriously just compare caring for

1462
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:11,479
Speaker 2: real life animals to mythical creatures? Yeah, d you are

1463
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 2: so dense that if you were dropped in an ocean,

1464
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,560
Speaker 2: you would sink right to the bottom. And I'm proud

1465
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 2: of her. I love dogs too, but her deep love

1466
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 2: of animals is something I looked over because she always

1467
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 2: had good jobs and she's very pretty. That they're quoting

1468
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:26,200
Speaker 2: back op So on top of being a moron, you

1469
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:28,600
Speaker 2: are also a shallow d bag. And that's the end

1470
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 2: of that story.

1471
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 7: That's crazy, because wow, the entire story of you, we

1472
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 7: had it. I was like I'm cited. Like from that title,

1473
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:36,600
Speaker 7: I'm siding with the girlfriend.

1474
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 2: You are fully hopeless.

1475
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:39,960
Speaker 7: That's crazy. I like how you were fighting the internet too,

1476
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:40,800
Speaker 7: like the Internet's wrong.

1477
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 2: Okay, straight into the sun for you.

1478
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 7: But guess what, that's the end of that story.