WEBVTT - Go through the motions

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that it is okay to just go

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<v Speaker 1>through the motions, often doing something we don't really feel

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<v Speaker 1>like we'll change how we're feeling. No need to worry

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<v Speaker 1>about being a fake. Everyone fakes things from time to time,

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<v Speaker 1>but sticking with stuff is how anything big happens. Today's tip,

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<v Speaker 1>like some others this week, is inspired by Tara Schuster's

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<v Speaker 1>book By Yourself, The Lilies and Other Rituals to Fix

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<v Speaker 1>your Life from someone who's been there. Tara writes that

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<v Speaker 1>at a particular low moment in time, a friend named

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<v Speaker 1>Eliza told her to try writing a daily gratitude list.

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<v Speaker 1>Tara hated this idea. She was sure it wouldn't work,

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<v Speaker 1>and so, partially to prove my point that Eliza was wrong,

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<v Speaker 1>and partially because I was at a low point where

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<v Speaker 1>I was willing to try anything, I decided to test

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<v Speaker 1>her ridiculous idea. I seethed through a smile. I made

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<v Speaker 1>an agreement with myself. I'd write a morning gratitude list

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<v Speaker 1>every day for a month, and when it didn't work,

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<v Speaker 1>I could say something condescending to Eliza and feel self

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<v Speaker 1>righteous and sure enough. Tara notes her lists from that

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<v Speaker 1>time include such illuminating thoughts as this is such a

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<v Speaker 1>waste of time and you're not grateful for any of this, liar,

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<v Speaker 1>And she wasn't. She didn't really feel much gratitude at all,

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<v Speaker 1>but she forced herself to just keep doing it, and

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<v Speaker 1>slowly it helped her start pulling herself out of her punk.

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<v Speaker 1>I have now been writing a daily gratitude list for

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<v Speaker 1>nine years, she says. Every morning, as a part of

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<v Speaker 1>my journaling, I write down ten things I am grateful for.

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<v Speaker 1>If I can't come up with something, I fake it,

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<v Speaker 1>write down something silly and don't worry too much about it.

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<v Speaker 1>It adds up over time. The practice of writing thirty

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand eight fifty things I am grateful for has

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<v Speaker 1>made me aware of just how lucky I am. As

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<v Speaker 1>she says, I am pretty sure I just faked gratitude

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<v Speaker 1>until I became truly grateful. And you know what, that's

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<v Speaker 1>totally fine. It's fine for many things in life. This

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<v Speaker 1>is Laura talking here. The phrase going through the motions

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<v Speaker 1>has a negative connotation. Someone is doing something that they

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<v Speaker 1>don't really feel, But so what. There is nothing wrong

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<v Speaker 1>with doing something good and that you know will be helpful,

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<v Speaker 1>even if you don't really feel like it. Maybe you

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<v Speaker 1>are angry at your partner, but you decide to act

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<v Speaker 1>loving and courteous anyway, and shockingly, the other person responds

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<v Speaker 1>lovingly to you being loving and starts to repair things.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you don't feel like exercising, but you just go

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<v Speaker 1>for a walk because you said you would every day

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<v Speaker 1>with a colleague who is trying to get in shape,

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<v Speaker 1>and sure enough, you feel better afterwards. Maybe you don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel particularly gung ho about religion at the moment, but

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<v Speaker 1>your family expects you to go to your house of worship.

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<v Speaker 1>You do, and you feel better after the service. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>not anymore like you believe anything, but you feel more

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<v Speaker 1>connected to your community, and that can be fine on

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<v Speaker 1>its own. We can't feel perfectly motivated and authentic all

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<v Speaker 1>the time, but when we keep with the practices of

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<v Speaker 1>a positive life, often are feelings catch up with our actions.

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<v Speaker 1>Act the way you want to feel, and eventually you

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<v Speaker 1>might feel that way, and maybe even if not, you

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<v Speaker 1>are better off. Then if you don't do the positive actions,

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<v Speaker 1>they keep you invested in life. So go through the motions.

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<v Speaker 1>Tara went through the motions of writing her list, and

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<v Speaker 1>she did over thirty plus entries. Feel grateful. It makes sense.

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<v Speaker 1>The practice creates its own momentum. In the meantime. This

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<v Speaker 1>is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

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<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,

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<v Speaker 1>then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me

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<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

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<v Speaker 1>dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

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<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the I

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<v Speaker 1>heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite show. Wall I Ain't Get