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Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Just the two of us. We can make it with

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Speaker 2: jah Tra Yeah fine, okay, well this feels so weird.

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Speaker 2: I know, it's like a a pregnant hole is missing

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Speaker 2: right here so far.

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Speaker 1: I know, comes closer, literally, come to you, tiny, come

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Speaker 1: a little closer.

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Speaker 2: I'm so used to.

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Speaker 1: Hanging off the end like I do at night in

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Speaker 1: the bed.

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Speaker 2: You why do you hang off a minute?

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Speaker 1: I don't like to be touched when I'm sleeping, Like

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Speaker 1: you can touch.

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Speaker 2: Man then Catherine ladies and gentleman's.

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Speaker 1: Sleeping, and he gets closer and closer and closer. The

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Speaker 1: dog gets closer and closer, and so I have to

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Speaker 1: I'm basically off of my king size bed.

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Speaker 2: You don't like being touched when you sleep?

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Speaker 1: Do you?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Who can sleep with someone touching them?

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Speaker 2: I can.

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Speaker 1: That sounds about right.

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Speaker 2: No, I mean I like my space when I sleep. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: But I also like in the middle of the night,

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Speaker 2: like sometimes like he'll like start rubbing my head, or

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Speaker 2: he'll like grab my hand like and we'll like fall

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Speaker 2: asleep like oh like like he'll grab my hand and

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Speaker 2: then we like but it's like that's sweet in like

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Speaker 2: the middle of the night. Oh yeah, like when when

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Speaker 2: we toss our turn or something. We're both tossing her

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Speaker 2: and turners.

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Speaker 1: So you're like half asleep tossing and turning, and you

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Speaker 1: are aware enough to grab and hold hands.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it's kind of cute, right, I mean it's kind

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Speaker 2: of cute.

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Speaker 1: Definitely nothing I've ever done. It's so cute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know I haven't done that before.

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Speaker 1: Like, I just don't think i'd even be aware enough.

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Speaker 2: To, Like, I think it's just like, Hi, good, I know.

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Speaker 1: That's sweet. Hey, things she learned that.

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Speaker 2: You didn't know, but you didn't know that you were

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Speaker 2: bracing for, Like just.

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Speaker 1: Literally this much of my bed between the dot he

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Speaker 1: sleeps between me.

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Speaker 2: How do you let your dog sleep in your bed?

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Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with her, but she sleeps literally between me

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Speaker 1: in your bed between my life.

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Speaker 2: Do you let sleep on the couch?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: He only she only likes my bed. She doesn't get

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Speaker 1: on the couch.

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Speaker 2: That doesn't like gross you out.

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Speaker 1: I mean I have to wash the sheets and stuff

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Speaker 1: like real often.

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Speaker 2: I just for some reason. I mean I used to

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Speaker 2: be the persons. No, no, I used to be the

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Speaker 2: person too, And I think a lot of people will

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Speaker 2: agree with you way more than me one thousand percent.

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Speaker 2: And I know that, but like once I had kids kids,

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Speaker 2: like a dog just became a dog. You're not in

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Speaker 2: my space. Get away from me, Like I don't want

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Speaker 2: you on my bed, I don't want you on my

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Speaker 2: couch like you stink.

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Speaker 1: Yeah no, I don't disagree with all of that in general.

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Speaker 2: Like I love Leo, love love him. I think he's

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Speaker 2: an amazing dog. Lauren trained him, beautiful dog, he's a

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Speaker 2: great dog. But you're not getting in my bed and

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Speaker 2: we're not snuggling, like I don't want a dog dog

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Speaker 2: snuggling with me, and rather, and again, I don't like

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Speaker 2: falling asleep snuggling either. I like the random in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the night like touch base, but like yeah,

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Speaker 2: like we'll snuggle then roll over. I'm fine with that.

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Speaker 2: But when it comes to a dog, like I used

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Speaker 2: to have my Boston Terrier and Sophie too. Mia and

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Speaker 2: Sophie would snuggle in between my legs. Now that was

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Speaker 2: like twenties, Yeah, but I could not. Maybe like when

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Speaker 2: the kids are out of my house and it's like

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Speaker 2: my only baby, but I'm like I want to be

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Speaker 2: left alone.

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Speaker 1: So I do too, and I was the same way.

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Speaker 1: But when I started having baby fever after Ramsey is

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Speaker 1: when I got rosy. So she's the only one. So

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Speaker 1: she was like my newborn, like my baby, and that

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Speaker 1: treated her that way. And now she literally has to

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Speaker 1: be up between my legs before we go to sleep.

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Speaker 1: Any other dog, no, like Ranger doesn't. He'll get up

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Speaker 1: on the bed sometimes will let him, like when he

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Speaker 1: falls asleep at first. But like the puppy, you know

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Speaker 1: in the crate, the big dog. I got a lot

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Speaker 1: of animals, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, I couldn't imagine. Yeah, I mean Alan's dog Alba

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Speaker 2: is here Shooberman like. But some people have their big

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Speaker 2: dogs like that sleep in bed and I'm like, this

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Speaker 2: is like my only time to myself, like get out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but like me and Rosie going there like by ourselves.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't need anything like everyone else in my life.

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Speaker 2: But I kind of do get that piece where it's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know when the kids are gone or when the kids,

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Speaker 2: like when you get that they're getting older, baby fever,

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Speaker 2: you're kind of like, all right, you want to mother something, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and like have it be your baby.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where that's why we'll get there eventually.

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Speaker 2: Make fine that.

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Speaker 1: I mean he doesn't love it, but no, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: really have a choice now. And like at one night,

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Speaker 1: you know, because Rangers kind of had a harder time

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Speaker 1: going to sleep at night. I mean like just put

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Speaker 1: him in the bed. He's like absolutely not, Like there's

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Speaker 1: no way we're doing two dogs in the bed.

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Speaker 2: Like okay, no, how do you have like fucks with

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Speaker 2: the dogs?

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Speaker 1: She goes in the crate too, Like, so she sleeps

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Speaker 1: really well in the crate too, so she'll go in

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Speaker 1: the crate. So she goes in the crate and then

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Speaker 1: we put her up on the bed or sometimes she

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Speaker 1: she gets a little like she freaks out a little

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Speaker 1: there for the Yeah, yeah, she freaks out a little bit,

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Speaker 1: like what.

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Speaker 2: Are you doing about that?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I just couldn't have a dog staring me in the eye.

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Speaker 1: Well that is uncomfortable. The cry and put the blanket

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Speaker 1: over it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how this came up or how we

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Speaker 1: got there.

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Speaker 2: Well, we always find a topic we do. So it's interesting, Well,

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Speaker 2: did we talk.

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Speaker 1: About why we're why we're alone?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: No, KB is having contractions. She texted and she was like,

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Speaker 2: no dilation, but we she's contracting, so she is on

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Speaker 2: Baby Baby Baby Watch good. Yeah, but we are very excited.

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Speaker 2: We miss KB obviously, but we're excited because we have

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Speaker 2: Shreihely coming on the show in a little in a

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Speaker 2: little bit, so we'll get her on. But I do

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Speaker 2: want to say thank you to everyone who have shown

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Speaker 2: love for not only the engagement but the book too,

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Speaker 2: Like it's been it's been so great. It's also been

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Speaker 2: really fun to block people because the people that have

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Speaker 2: just been I mean, here's I was gonna get a

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Speaker 2: handful and that's okay, but like it's just been like

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Speaker 2: I don't take any offense to any of it good

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Speaker 2: or I'm just like it's so easy now just to

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Speaker 2: be like boo blah. But no, I think I've only

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Speaker 2: you know, normally where when I focused where I would

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Speaker 2: always focus on the negative, I focus on the positive

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Speaker 2: of like the things people were saying, and that has

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Speaker 2: been that's been nice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like you've gotten a lot, a lot

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Speaker 1: of love and I'm very.

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Speaker 2: I'm very sweet and I really appreciate it and I'm

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Speaker 2: just like, yeah, with the engagement side of things, and

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Speaker 2: then the you know, with the book, like it's just

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Speaker 2: just feels I appreciate it, so thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm really glad to let me say that, like because

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Speaker 1: a lot of times when you have announcements or new

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Speaker 1: things and people want to attack and people like it

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Speaker 1: can kind of get you down, you know, and like

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Speaker 1: you you've been great from what I've seen, Like I haven't.

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Speaker 1: You've just been awesome.

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Speaker 2: I've laughed at the comments. Wow, like I just and

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Speaker 2: then I'm like block because I don't need you to

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Speaker 2: Well what's so funny though about some of these people

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Speaker 2: like well, okay, so like on the engagement side, it's

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Speaker 2: like I can't wait for her to be the victim

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Speaker 2: of number four or you know what I mean, just

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Speaker 2: like of like whatever, like whatever fine, or just being

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Speaker 2: like mean. But then I'll go I'm like I wonder

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Speaker 2: if they have messaged me before, and then I go

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Speaker 2: to like the message like oh my god, I love

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Speaker 2: you and like that looks so cool, or like like

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Speaker 2: they're so nice.

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Speaker 1: They're probably just trying to get attention no matter how

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Speaker 1: they do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was just like, well, block, but and

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Speaker 2: then some were like you know, mean always I'm like, oh, block,

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Speaker 2: Like yeah, because I just don't need your like negative energy.

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Speaker 2: And then on the book side, someone was just like,

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Speaker 2: she's like she just found love now she's writing about it.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, where did you not read that? I said,

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Speaker 2: this does not involve my new relationship whatsoever. People don't

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Speaker 2: I say like one sentence because I went back and revised,

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Speaker 2: like one day, I hope to find love. It's like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I said like something about like finding love,

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Speaker 2: like one sentence.

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Speaker 1: People don't pay attention. They really don't.

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Speaker 2: But I was just like, okay, whatever, bye, Well let's

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Speaker 2: get schriy helium. Let's take a break.

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Speaker 3: Hey, h hello, Darleene. It's so good to see you both.

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Speaker 2: I know it's been a minute. Our middle pregnant mama,

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Speaker 2: she's about to have a baby, so we you know,

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Speaker 2: want any day now. So she's she's on maternity leave

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Speaker 2: from Wine down. Oh rats, woman, you got me and Kat?

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Speaker 2: How you been?

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Speaker 3: Oh so good?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to talk about this topic with you

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Speaker 3: because the last we talked, I think I told you

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Speaker 3: that I was just going to date my face off

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Speaker 3: and that I thought that the guy that I was

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Speaker 3: with was my one, but then he wasn't right.

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Speaker 2: And how long were you guys together for when, Like,

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Speaker 2: how long did you guys date for? It was like,

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Speaker 2: what was a seven years? So did I make that up?

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Speaker 3: We had known each other since twenty nineteen, so it

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Speaker 3: was like several years, but we didn't date that whole time, right,

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Speaker 3: And I told you I thought he was it, yes,

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Speaker 3: and then we broke up. But he is it, as

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Speaker 3: it turns out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Wait, so let's go back. So you met in

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Speaker 2: nineteen and then you dated for how long until you

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Speaker 2: guys called it off?

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Speaker 3: Well, we did it for like a minute, and then

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Speaker 3: we got back together and dated for six months. Okay,

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Speaker 3: but we've been friends for like three years.

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Speaker 2: Right? What made you think he was the in the beginning?

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Speaker 2: And then what made you guys break it off?

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Speaker 3: He knew I was the one in the beginning, but

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Speaker 3: I didn't why. And then I thought after that six

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Speaker 3: months that he was it. But you know when when

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Speaker 3: you know someone is your soulmate and there's there's like

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Speaker 3: this deep, unbelievable connection, but there's stuff that they've still

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Speaker 3: got to do. There was still growing to do. I

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Speaker 3: had big therapy and work to do that first time

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Speaker 3: that I met him, and then he took his turn

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Speaker 3: and now we're amazing.

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Speaker 2: So okay, So then you had the work too, like

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Speaker 2: so you realize you still needed stuff to do. And

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Speaker 2: then you guys were kind of like, wait a minute,

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Speaker 2: like let's try this again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And then I broke up with him again.

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Speaker 2: Why did you meet up with him? Tell me more?

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Speaker 3: Why? Because I think he had work to do? You

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Speaker 3: know the story of twin flames, you know when you

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Speaker 3: when they say too. So many of us are being

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Speaker 3: reconnected in this lifetime and I can't wait to hear

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Speaker 3: about yours because we have we have this rule to

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Speaker 3: play for each other where we really wake each other up.

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Speaker 3: We advance each other and help each other learn. And

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Speaker 3: that sometimes looks like coming together and then moving apart,

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Speaker 3: and then coming back together and moving apart to do

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Speaker 3: the work. But I feel like we've done that core

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Speaker 3: work now so we can be together in a really

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Speaker 3: healthy way.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: And that's something I so thought we'd talk about today,

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Speaker 3: because it's that first healthy relationship after all the unhealthy ones, right.

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Speaker 2: And I will say too on that piece, like when

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Speaker 2: I look at my fiance now, I don't think we

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Speaker 2: would have been right, Oh, I know, we wouldn't have

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Speaker 2: been right for each other any years before that, like

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Speaker 2: I would have met him even before my ex him

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Speaker 2: and I both would have been not good for each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I still have so much of myself to do.

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Speaker 2: He had stuff of his stuff to do. So it's

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Speaker 2: like we would have not been We would have had

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Speaker 2: a great romance and it would have been fun, but

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Speaker 2: I would have somehow sabotaged it with my own past stuff.

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Speaker 2: He would have had his own stuff, his you know,

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Speaker 2: whatever it was, and so it would have never I

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Speaker 2: don't think it would have ever worked until Like that's

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Speaker 2: where I'm like, the timing of things is interesting, but

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Speaker 2: I would But then I go to Catherine's point where

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Speaker 2: it's like, you guys, I feel like like when you

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Speaker 2: hear the word soulmate, like do you think Nick's your soulmate?

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Speaker 2: And also like do you have do you then go

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Speaker 2: in and out of the seasons too because of like

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Speaker 2: the challenges and ups and downs in your marriage?

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Speaker 1: That makes sense, Yeah, that's a very interesting question. You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't use the word soulmate that often, but I

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Speaker 1: definitely he's definitely my person.

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Speaker 2: But what's the difference then for you?

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Speaker 1: I guess it's the same I don't know. I just

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Speaker 1: don't use that term often.

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Speaker 3: Is it true?

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Speaker 2: Like dramatic a little bit? I mean, so I get it,

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Speaker 2: but like.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, but it also is like yes

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Speaker 1: we're yes we're soulmates or where are people? But it

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Speaker 1: takes a lot of work, and it's been a lot

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Speaker 1: and yes, I think there's been seasons of like, yes,

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Speaker 1: he feels like my person, Oh my gosh, now we're

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Speaker 1: not great. Yes, you know, I think there's been a

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Speaker 1: lot of that ups and downs, and I just think

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Speaker 1: that that's you have to continue to do work. I

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Speaker 1: guess as part of that.

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Speaker 2: Well, because you guys didn't because they married young, so

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Speaker 2: like they didn't get the chance to do their own

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Speaker 2: work before then they got together and then both like

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Speaker 2: super healthy. So it's the people that didn't do that work.

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Speaker 2: It's like I could see going because I mean, shoot,

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Speaker 2: when I was married to my ex, I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: don't think you're I don't think he's my person. Yeah

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like I'm gonna keep fighting

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Speaker 2: for this, but like this isn't how it's supposed to look,

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Speaker 2: this is how I'm supposed to feel, Like this is

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Speaker 2: my needs aren't getting met. His needs aren't getting met

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Speaker 2: like and.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I guess that's interesting because then I wasn't so

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Speaker 1: sure if he was my person because we got married

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Speaker 1: so young, and then we did it's safe, we were

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Speaker 1: going to get divorced. And then that's when we were

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Speaker 1: doing our work and realizing, wait, we are meant to

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Speaker 1: be together. I don't know, it's just interesting, but it

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Speaker 1: took that for us to see it, right, you know,

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Speaker 1: at least for me to see.

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Speaker 2: It almost like sure, you like with your thing, then

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Speaker 2: like you guys taking that break, going, oh, we just

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Speaker 2: had to do some deep work work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And I remember talking to you all the way back, Gwen.

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Speaker 3: Are we both willing to do the work? You know,

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Speaker 3: because it's not that you have to leave each other

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Speaker 3: to do work. It happened to be true for us

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Speaker 3: in those moments. But I think ideally you come together

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Speaker 3: in relationship to work on yourselves together. It's what relationship does.

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Speaker 3: I lived in an ashram when I was twenty five,

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Speaker 3: and I asked.

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Speaker 2: I should know what that is, but is that what

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Speaker 2: is that?

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Speaker 3: It's like living with a spiritual teacher. It's okay, sterary, okay,

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Speaker 3: And I said, I wanted to be come a swammy.

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Speaker 3: I'm like twenty eight. I thought that would be the

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Speaker 3: path to growth. What's a swaman, they said, Like a

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Speaker 3: swammy is like a priest or a nun. Okay, you know.

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Speaker 3: And I had grown up in the Catholic Church, and

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Speaker 3: I know you're in your faith so beautifully it's whatever

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Speaker 3: path works to have you find the answers that you're

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Speaker 3: here to answer, you know. And I remember saying them,

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Speaker 3: I want to devote myself to the study. And they said,

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Speaker 3: this is not the fast path. Meditating in a cave

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Speaker 3: and doing what we do is not the fast path.

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Speaker 3: You go get married and have children. That's the one

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Speaker 3: because it really has us grow so much. It has

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Speaker 3: us it's like the final level of growth to be

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Speaker 3: in relationship.

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Speaker 2: And I'll say this too, to add to that, is

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Speaker 2: like there's I'm not saying that you and your guy

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Speaker 2: and mean Alan are not going to have like we're

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Speaker 2: going to have our issues. Things will come up from

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Speaker 2: our past, but it's how we would have handled things

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Speaker 2: in the past that would be different how we handle

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Speaker 2: them now. Right, So like where I would go like

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Speaker 2: to just be like sabotaging, I can now go Okay,

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Speaker 2: like let's have the sit down. Let's have it, and

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Speaker 2: I might not do it perfectly right the conversation, but

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Speaker 2: it's it still looks different, like there's still going to

350
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Speaker 2: be conflict in relationships. It's not to say that like

351
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Speaker 2: just because we've met at the right time, we're going

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Speaker 2: to be perfect. Like nothing has come up as of yet,

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Speaker 2: like we've been able to really communicate great and have

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Speaker 2: great conversations. But years down the line, you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: sure things will come up. Like that's just the like

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Speaker 2: that's marriage, that's relationships. It's fighting for you know, it's

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Speaker 2: being under the same roof.

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Speaker 5: It's hard, yeah, and it's good news if that stuff's

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Speaker 5: coming up, yeah, because then that means that you're healing

360
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 5: things and these things are ready to come up, you know,

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Speaker 5: if you have the skills to hold it and the awareness,

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Speaker 5: which I feel you do.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 2: I just like something that I said to him, because

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Speaker 2: you know, he like he's a big fix to process things,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't want to hold in anything back.

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Speaker 2: So if you have like resentment and like let's talk

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Speaker 2: about this, like what are your feelings? And I think

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Speaker 2: you know he comes from more of like you don't

370
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Speaker 2: share feelings, and so it's very new for him to

371
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Speaker 2: like sit down and like have those discussions with me.

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Speaker 2: But it's also I'm like, we need to do that,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I'm like, I know what resentment does.

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Speaker 2: It kills a relationship. So it's like I don't want

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Speaker 2: that does. So I'm like, if anything is coming up

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Speaker 2: right now, like I saw you get a little frustrated,

377
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Speaker 2: would you like to talk about it because I don't

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Speaker 2: want you to hold anything in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which is so interesting because I used to be

380
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Speaker 1: the person that held it in and now that I'm

381
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Speaker 1: trying to do better, I'm like, well, I'm just feeling well.

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Speaker 1: He almost doesn't even know what to do with that, Like,

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Speaker 1: are you mad? I'm not mad. I just want to

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Speaker 1: talk about it. I just want to get that out there.

385
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Speaker 1: And he's like what, Like, it's just you know, you

386
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,480
Speaker 1: can change and you can get to a point to

387
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Speaker 1: where you do want to talk about your feelings and

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Speaker 1: it not be you fight a fight, Yes, which is

389
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Speaker 1: hard sometimes, but yeah, you definitely can get to be.

390
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Speaker 2: So then where do you struggle then?

391
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Speaker 1: Too?

392
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 2: Shure like on this new path with your your one.

393
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Speaker 3: You know, it's so wild and I mean, we all

394
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Speaker 3: know there's not necessarily a one, you see.

395
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Speaker 2: I disagree. I think he's my one, like and you do.

396
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Speaker 2: I do. I think I think there's the I think

397
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Speaker 2: there's seasons of people, but I don't think those are

398
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Speaker 2: the ones. Like I don't think you get a one

399
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:17,240
Speaker 2: each season or however many seasons. I think the one stays,

400
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,000
Speaker 2: the one is like the one that you were like

401
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 2: destined to be with all along.

402
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:31,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like there are potential more ones. That's

403
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 3: my take on it. You know that there's this unbelievable

404
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 3: limitless ability for us to love and grow. And but

405
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,879
Speaker 3: I love this because I think where I'm with you

406
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Speaker 3: right now, as I feel like mine is so my

407
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 3: the male version of me. We are so right for

408
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:54,600
Speaker 3: each other. It's absolutely unarguable. So where though the challenges

409
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,159
Speaker 3: come up are I think it was so amazing to

410
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Speaker 3: me to see my old patterns come up in the

411
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 3: way that you're talking about too, when we've had trauma

412
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Speaker 3: and we've had relationships in the past that had our

413
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 3: nervous system be so dysregulated, so up in fight or flight,

414
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 3: and the triggers that are there, you know, are ours

415
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:22,560
Speaker 3: to work on. But it's our partner's love and generosity,

416
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 3: you know, to know about them and to tread lightly

417
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 3: so that we can heal. And I think it was

418
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Speaker 3: amazing to see how much of the old fears came

419
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Speaker 3: up for a review with him. I remember walking through

420
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Speaker 3: the kitchen one day and just saying, are you okay?

421
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 3: Like I could sense, you know, I'm so hyper sensitive

422
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 3: like we are when we've gone through abusive relationships, And

423
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Speaker 3: he just took me in his hands and he said,

424
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Speaker 3: I just need you to know I'm pretty much always okay,

425
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,880
Speaker 3: and if I'm not, I'll tell you. You know, it

426
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 3: was like this finding new ways to find safety, to

427
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 3: relax into this kind of a relationship was really work.

428
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Speaker 2: Yeah, what would you say to the girls that like

429
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,959
Speaker 2: are afraid of you know, they've they've gone through the trauma,

430
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 2: they've had the mistrust, and the ones that are like

431
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,479
Speaker 2: I don't want to I'm afraid to put my heart

432
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Speaker 2: back out there because I don't want to get hurt.

433
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: Like I know my reasons in my you know what

434
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Speaker 2: I would say to that, But I'm just curious, like

435
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,159
Speaker 2: from your more therapeutic side of like what to do

436
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 2: in that situation where you're like, I don't want to

437
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 2: get bamboozled again. I I don't want to be embarrassing,

438
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 2: and I don't want to be fooled again. I've been

439
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 2: fooled so many times.

440
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, it's such a real challenge and I think

441
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 3: so common. You know that we want to protect our

442
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: heart and build up walls around it, and you can

443
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 3: see people over lifetimes have just built so many walls.

444
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 3: And I would always say making a choice from fear

445
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 3: is never the right choice. We can't make decisions from fear,

446
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 3: and that is a fear based decision. You know, I'm

447
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:08,439
Speaker 3: going to avoid and I think there will always be hurt,

448
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 3: So it's making peace with life is full of that.

449
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 3: And this was a big lesson for me over the

450
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 3: years and all my working with people. You know, I've

451
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 3: never met anybody really amazing who hasn't been through a

452
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 3: ton of pain. And the lessons and the transformations that

453
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 3: we go through, what our souls are here to experience,

454
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 3: really have to come with pain. I think trauma and

455
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 3: pain are coded into our childhoods for a reason, and

456
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:42,640
Speaker 3: so to make peace with that means that you will

457
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 3: be able to know the deepest love. You know you

458
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 3: and I've talked about the needs before, and these needs

459
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 3: for certainty and uncertainty. If somebody is really really fighting

460
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 3: for certainty, they're never going to have the epical, you know,

461
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: because big fat love is messy and it's it's vulnerable,

462
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 3: and like we're both talking about, you have to bring

463
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 3: your heart out, talk about it, talk about the things

464
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 3: that you're holding in there, and that's that's hard. If

465
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 3: you're really wired for safety and certainty in ways that

466
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,400
Speaker 3: would have you never really know the depth about love.

467
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 3: So I think it's just being clear about the decision

468
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 3: you're making. If you don't want to ever get hurt again,

469
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 3: you put a lid on that, then you put a

470
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 3: lid on love too.

471
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 2: That just seems so sad to me too, Like I

472
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 2: don't I don't want to be the girl that's like, okay,

473
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 2: just because I've failed, but I've also like I've tried

474
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 2: and I've loved and it's like I didn't want certain

475
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 2: things to end and like you, but it's like I

476
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 2: would hate to be like, all right, well I don't

477
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 2: want to try again.

478
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 1: Like that just is like, well, it's interesting. I was

479
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 1: just thinking about the beginning of this relationship. I can

480
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: remember having a conversation with you because it was like,

481
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 1: I want to not put boundaries up essentially and not

482
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 1: be afraid not but like you were struggling with it

483
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: at first because you were scared. Yeah, but you don't

484
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: put those walls up where that's very different from people.

485
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 1: You think about it and you you struggle with it,

486
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 1: but then it's like, you know what, I'm just going

487
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 1: to dive in and if I get hurt, I get hurt,

488
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 1: you know, and a lot of people I wouldn't be

489
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: able to do that. I mean, I'm queen of walls.

490
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 1: But like that's why I think this relationship could work

491
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 1: so well for you, because you were like, I'm scared,

492
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: but I'm just going to jump in.

493
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 2: Because I could have missed out on like such a

494
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 2: great love. Ye if I didn't absolutely go for it

495
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 2: and really try and like bring my best version to myself.

496
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: If he doesn't want to show up the best version,

497
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 2: well that's on him. I'm going to show up the

498
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: best version that I can be. And you know it's

499
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 2: still not anymore. But like it was scary, you know, going, Well,

500
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,919
Speaker 2: I hope I hope he's who he says he was,

501
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: because I've you know, I've just been before like not

502
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 2: the truth, but I gotta I gotta just I gotta

503
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 2: believe in my gut that I know a little better

504
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 2: this time. And if not, well.

505
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh and if the end is yeah, if the

506
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 3: end game is to know great of if that's what

507
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: you ultimately want and there's fear in the way, then

508
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 3: that's where we get help. You know why I had

509
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 3: to take that time to do em d rart work,

510
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: you know, or healing or we have these talks, we

511
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 3: have each other to sort through those fears. I'm just

512
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,199
Speaker 3: I'm not a fan of letting things stand in the

513
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: way of me and what I want.

514
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a I know. I don't want to quote

515
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 2: her because I I don't I don't want the headline

516
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 2: of it. But she's a reality star and she basically

517
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: was like I paraphrasing, like I've been hurt so many times,

518
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: I will never love someone again. And I was like

519
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 2: that's sad because I'm like they shouldn't get the last

520
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 2: Like you deserve to be loved, you deserve to try,

521
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 2: and like, yeah, it might not work out, but like

522
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,239
Speaker 2: I promise you once you get healthier, like you're going

523
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 2: to pick healthier if not, like, well you know, at

524
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 2: least you know and move on and think I just

525
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: feel like it's that.

526
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 3: Don't you think it's why we're here though, I mean

527
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 3: to love. It's one of the main purposes I think

528
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 3: of being a human being.

529
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's not like you don't have to like

530
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: and I'm not saying like being a relationship is like whatever,

531
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 2: like I found happiness with that blah, Like yes, one,

532
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,880
Speaker 2: And I still think you shouldn't hold yourself back from

533
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 2: trying in a relationship just because you've been hurt. I get

534
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 2: being scared. I totally understand, Like I get it, And yeah,

535
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 2: you shouldn't like you shouldn't like it's just you know,

536
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 2: like you said, we're here to love and we deserve

537
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 2: to be love and to love.

538
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 3: Yes. In the Book of Joy that Dalai Lama wrote

539
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 3: about and Desmond Tutu is incredible book about how many

540
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 3: horrors they've been through, I mean just horrors.

541
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 2: I'm a horse.

542
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 4: What oh okay those two or is it just me?

543
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 2: Did you hear that too? Yeah? You never know what the.

544
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 3: Horrors of being exiled from your country or being held

545
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 3: in jailed, or being threatened to die. You know, all

546
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 3: those things are actually what taught them joy, that those

547
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 3: were the doorways to knowing great love and joy. So

548
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 3: I think that's just what gets misunderstood, you know in

549
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 3: this crazy ride that we're on.

550
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, and I I you find out more too,

551
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 2: like from those relationships, like the worst some of the

552
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: worst relationships that I've been in, the lessons that I'm like,

553
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 2: oh man, like really they become such teaching moments too,

554
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 2: to like what you don't want. So I'm almost sometimes

555
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: grateful for them.

556
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and not even just in love and

557
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 1: everything in life. I mean, like you make mistakes, that's

558
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 1: how you learn from them. It's just like kids, you know,

559
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: growing up. They make a mistake, they're going to learn

560
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 1: from that, They're not going to do it next time.

561
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like how we're wired.

562
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, how is your it's even with things like does

563
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 2: your ex husband like the guy?

564
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, completely great. You know, we're we're still great friends

565
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 3: and he's actually finally in a relationship too. So it's

566
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 3: such an amazing thing, you know, just to see how

567
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 3: far we've come.

568
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: Isn't that so great?

569
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 3: Oh? God? You know that's what I'd love for people

570
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 3: to know is if you are listening and you're in

571
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 3: that place where it just feels like there's no way out,

572
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 3: you know, where you and I both have been through

573
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 3: so much. You know, there is I think something to

574
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 3: this world that is kind of a natural and perfect

575
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 3: order towards goodness, towards growth, you know, and if you

576
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 3: just keeps showing up. I mean, we just kept having

577
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,719
Speaker 3: all the talks, and we just keep showing up for

578
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 3: the kids and knowing that we're in this to you know,

579
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: be a modern family, like I alway said I didn't

580
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 3: want to have the broken family, like a really cool

581
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 3: modern family. Then that's that guiding light that ultimately brought

582
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 3: us here. And it's not without its ups and downs,

583
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 3: you know, at all. Like kids go through their different

584
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 3: phases and it pulls on us as parents in all

585
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 3: kinds of different ways. And I'm moving in now, so

586
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 3: we're changing like the whole structure of.

587
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 2: The wait, moving in the house, moving in with.

588
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 3: Your with my man and does he have to Yeah,

589
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 3: but we're older kids, you know. His are twenty seven,

590
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 3: twenty nine and mine are eighteen and twenty. So it's

591
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: a a whole different phase.

592
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: Sure.

593
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. How are your kids doing with all of it?

594
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: Oh, it's great, Like they're everything's great, Like they love Alan,

595
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 2: Alan and Max. I mean Alan and Alan and uh

596
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 2: Alan and yeah, Alan and MYX have a great relationship.

597
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, everything is good, you know. I mean,

598
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 2: and we have been able to Max and I've been

599
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 2: able to have when stuff does come up, we're like, hey,

600
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 2: can we kind of talk this out? And you know,

601
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 2: we still have our moments where you know, we get frustrated,

602
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: and but we're able to communicate in such a better

603
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 2: way now. So that's been nice. And it's just we've

604
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: had more respect out of our marriage than in our marriage.

605
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 3: That's a good hallmark that says you are you made

606
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 3: the right choice. Yeah, we're better as co parents, better

607
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 3: as friends than married. Yeah.

608
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I have a book coming out and I

609
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 2: talk about that just kind of like that, never thinking

610
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 2: we'd ever get to that other side of like and

611
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: there's still going to be things that obviously come up.

612
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: There's deep resentments and stuff like that, but then also

613
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: it's like how to how I let go of a

614
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 2: lot of those things and like, you know, can just

615
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: kind of look at them as you know, the father

616
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 2: of my kids and not hold that stuff because I'm like,

617
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 2: I don't want to be walking around with I feel

618
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: like this year just shifted me and like I don't

619
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 2: want I don't want any bad energy. I just don't

620
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: want it. I don't want I don't want it. I

621
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: don't want hatred, I don't want like heaviness, just too

622
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,479
Speaker 2: like too short. We talk about this all time, like

623
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 2: it's I feel like a broken record saying it, but

624
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 2: it is. Life is just too damn short to like

625
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 2: hold onto any negative energy or put it out there.

626
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 2: I don't like it, That's what I'm like. I mean,

627
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 2: I even rewent through my book being like I don't

628
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: need to put that in there anymore. I don't need

629
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 2: like you know, it's not necessary. I don't need to

630
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 2: write about that, you know, about my exer about you know,

631
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 2: don't need it. So it's like I don't want, I

632
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 2: don't want, I don't want any.

633
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 3: I remember telling you years ago that all it takes

634
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 3: is one person to choose the highest choose take the

635
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 3: higher road, however you want to say it, but it

636
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 3: takes one person to shift a relationship, and you did

637
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 3: that right now too, just holding out to stay in

638
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 3: that higher vibration.

639
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we could do the meeting, like I know,

640
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 2: friends that are divorced that meet at you know, a

641
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 2: certain drop off at And we got there at one

642
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: point almost where it was like Katherine was like, you know,

643
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: you got to set a better boundary because it was ugly,

644
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 2: you know, and then like all right, fine, we're mean

645
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 2: net whole foods at this time, you know, like it

646
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: was about to get there, and then it was like,

647
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: you know, as time. But then it's like read about

648
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 2: it in the next chapter.

649
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: Good place.

650
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 3: I so excited for this.

651
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean it's just like it it's you know,

652
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 2: but sometimes and there's still people like we've been able

653
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 2: to at least kind of hang our hats going, like

654
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: we've done a decent job of like even though there

655
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: was hurt, that we can co parent. And I think

656
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,239
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's like kids are

657
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 2: number at the top, you know. Yeah, so if it's

658
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 2: going to make my kid happy to have his dad

659
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 2: here for his birthday party, I'm gonna invite him over,

660
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: you know, put my stuff aside. But yeah, so it's good,

661
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: we're good, We're fine. I mean, he's yeah, I I uh, yeah,

662
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 2: I fived him today when he took up when he

663
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 2: dropped off Jolie from the Dennis later as I kissed

664
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 2: my fiance, like it's good.

665
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 3: Did it bring up anything for him that you're getting married?

666
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 3: You know what?

667
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 2: I said this on the last show when when he

668
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 2: found out, well, when we told him whatever Jolie I did,

669
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 2: he was like, after everything, I've after everything I did.

670
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: You deserve like such happiness in love and and you know,

671
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: of all people, you deserve it. And so yeah, it

672
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 2: was great, amazing, Yeah, healing is that it was beautiful. Yeah,

673
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 2: it was really really really nice, like his acknowledgment and

674
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: then his like, well wished is like that seemed so genuine.

675
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 2: So I was like that was cool.

676
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh you're showing up everybody. What's possible? Lady?

677
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 2: Well, hey, who knows like in about you know what

678
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: I mean? But yeah, yeah, but I mean like you

679
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 2: never you know, it's like as long as but you

680
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 2: just keep every day, You're like, let's just be you know,

681
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 2: be positive, be be good, happy.

682
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 1: Literally it's stay by day.

683
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because I mean anything can set up.

684
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 3: You know, did you and Alan put together a vision

685
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 3: for what it is that you're creating, do you do?

686
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 3: You both have kind of a shared vision for what

687
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: the marriage is going to be, the life that you're creating.

688
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 2: So no, we haven't like really sat down. But for us,

689
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: it's like just love and respect. Love, respect and trust

690
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 2: are like the the main three things. It's like respect

691
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 2: is like our number one thing, and like we respect

692
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 2: each other so much. And from that respect, like I

693
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 2: trust him, and the love is is we know how

694
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: special it is, and so we're also like we don't.

695
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: I don't ever want to be in a moment where

696
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't trust him, but I don't. I

697
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 2: don't even I don't fear that one one ounce of

698
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: my body fears that, Like how he loves and respects me,

699
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 2: I trust him.

700
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 3: So everything stems from there.

701
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: So I think that's just like the the love and

702
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 2: respect is at the top, which is also a very

703
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 2: good book too. Yeah, they say men want respect, women

704
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 2: want love. Yeah, it's yeah.

705
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 3: So I remember I did a workshop once with David Data,

706
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 3: and he teaches sacred relationship and the practice of intimacy,

707
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 3: and he's an incredible teacher, and he had us do

708
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 3: this practice where you choose a partner a woman and

709
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 3: a man sitting in front of each other and say,

710
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 3: looking into the other person's eyes, over and over and

711
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 3: over again, the two things that men and women want

712
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 3: to hear the most, and that's masculine identified feminine identified.

713
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 3: It's not a gender thing, but to say over and

714
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 3: over and over again to a man, I trust you,

715
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 3: I respect you, I trust you, I respect you, I

716
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 3: trust you, I respect you. I watched this man in

717
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 3: front of me collapse into tears. It was so profound.

718
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 3: And the reverse was you're beautiful. I love you. You're beautiful,

719
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 3: I love you, And I mean, well, it is true.

720
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 3: Those are the things that are, at the end of

721
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 3: the day, so vital to keeping us feeling alive and appreciated.

722
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 2: You know what is nikto for you that you like feel.

723
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I mean I've never questioned for a second

724
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:43,919
Speaker 1: that he loves me ever, Yeah, honestly, but I think

725
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: the thing that I have. It's funny what was coming

726
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: up for me when she was saying that, I was like, man,

727
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 1: I bet sometimes I don't come off like I respect him,

728
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: not a lot, but like sometimes you know, like not

729
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: the trust thing we have, trust, like he knows I

730
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: trust him and place, you know, no issues there, But

731
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 1: I think the respect thing is the harder thing for us.

732
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 2: Interesting, I could.

733
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: See, like the way I say some things, or the

734
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: way I you know it, control the kids or you know,

735
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: like things like that, I could see where as a

736
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 1: man could see that as not respecting, like their ability

737
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: to parent, or their ability to make a decision or

738
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: you know whatever. I don't mean it in that way,

739
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: but I can see where that would come off.

740
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 2: Do you think it's because of like the direct way

741
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 2: that you're saying it, or I think.

742
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: The way I say things sometimes, which I've gotten a

743
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: lot better at, but also just like the controlling factor,

744
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 1: like in the like family, like we're going to do

745
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 1: this and he's like, you know, he's starting to kind

746
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: of I mean after what fourteen years, but like hey,

747
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: like you know, let me make this decision, let me

748
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 1: do this, and like, you know, I don't know, it's

749
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: just it's interesting. But I mean he's I mean, he

750
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 1: always shows me that he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful.

751
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: I've never questioned that tree.

752
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 2: What do you think to that?

753
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 3: I think this is where it gets interesting. Why I

754
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 3: asked you about your vision and for the relationship, because

755
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: when you have those shared values, then it's how do

756
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 3: you get down into the to the cope you know,

757
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 3: to the co parenting, to the doing of the things

758
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 3: you know with those values in mind that it gets

759
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: down into how you do your life, you know. And

760
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 3: I think I think it's it's tricky because I always say,

761
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 3: the more you want to give, the more you need.

762
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: And so if you want to give a lot of

763
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 3: trust and respect, then you have to talk about what

764
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 3: you need. What's the exchange? You know, what fills you up?

765
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: What has you be in your most true self, you know,

766
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,399
Speaker 3: your most resourced self to be able to give those

767
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 3: things to him? You know what? What what has you

768
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 3: respect him?

769
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 1: Well?

770
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 2: End the question? Then do you do you respect him? Oh?

771
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely I can. I just know my

772
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 1: personality and at times I can look back and be

773
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: like I could see where that didn't sound like I

774
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 1: respect him. Does that make sense?

775
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 2: Do you go then and tell him that I do?

776
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: Now? I am better at that time now I was

777
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 1: not before. And I think that was a lot of

778
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: our problem. And it's just interesting because I really hadn't

779
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: truly thought about it that much as like a respect

780
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: thing like even like like just even just random things

781
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 1: like with business stuff, like he may mention something. I'm like, well,

782
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 1: you maybe you should have done this, or you should

783
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 1: have done that, or you should and I can see

784
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 1: that triggers him. And I think that comes from like, Okay,

785
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 1: you're not like respecting my job and what I'm doing,

786
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,879
Speaker 1: and you know, and so I've noticed that creep back

787
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: in a little bit and then I try to like

788
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 1: stop myself, like no, no, but that was a great,

789
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: great job or you know whatever, just trying to like

790
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: not criticize it.

791
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 3: But you know, and that I know, and we can

792
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 3: criticize because you know, when we get criticized, weaks changed.

793
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 3: But when you criticize a guy, he just wants to

794
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 3: go away, right, you know, it creates distance. It's very

795
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 3: different the way criticism lands on us. Yeah, and what

796
00:38:55,320 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 3: it does. So but in those moments where you catch yourself,

797
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 3: this is where I think it's so great because there's

798
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 3: also a good reason that you are saying that. There's

799
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 3: a reason that you feel like you want to say

800
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 3: a thing like the need for control you said, or

801
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 3: there's maybe fear popping up, or you want to contribute

802
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 3: and you want to help, but it's not what he needs.

803
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,959
Speaker 3: And so to check in and say, oh man, what's

804
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,320
Speaker 3: just going on for me there? Or what I'm feeling

805
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 3: right now is stress and it's like a way that

806
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 3: I'm dealing with the stress to try to manage you

807
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 3: like you're one of my kids.

808
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 1: So true. So sorry, literally nailed all of it right there. Yep, sorry,

809
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: you're not one of my children.

810
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know, but I think just

811
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 2: like I'm being not humble in the moment, but like

812
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 2: you are humbling them and be like I'm sorry you're

813
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 2: not Like it's like because then he's like, oh, that's

814
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: where you just stepped in. You're just in that role,

815
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 2: and so then you just categorize them in that area.

816
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 2: And it's like if you say in that moment too,

817
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 2: I think that'd be like so helpful.

818
00:39:58,920 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

819
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Interesting, Can I offer one little tidbit?

820
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:05,280
Speaker 1: Sure?

821
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: So I was talking to Nick.

822
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: No no no no no no no.

823
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 2: I like Nick is a close friend, Like I like

824
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: Nick and I have a great.

825
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 1: Actually he said, no, no.

826
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 2: No, no, no no no. I just think this is

827
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: like such a good like such a good thing to

828
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 2: add going into what you guys are about to do Okay,

829
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 2: So I we were talking about he was leaving right,

830
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: so he was like cat on vacation. I was like, Oh,

831
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 2: she's the best. And he's just like, no, she has

832
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 2: to have she has to do something.

833
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I like to be busy.

834
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: You like to be busy and have an activity every

835
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: single day. I go, Cat, I was like, no way,

836
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 2: she's like He's like, oh no, She's different when it

837
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 2: comes to like the kid vacation. I was like really.

838
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 2: I was like, man, she's like awesome to like vacation

839
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 2: with him, like play cards and we chill, like because

840
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,399
Speaker 2: I don't have kids her. But he's like, no, she's

841
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 2: like she always has to have like a plan or

842
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 2: like an adventure thing to do. So I'd be curious

843
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 2: what it would be like to try this on and

844
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 2: so maybe one of the days go hey, Nick, what

845
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: would you like to do today? And or like and

846
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 2: don't plan anything and just and if it's just they

847
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: just want to whatever and just for one day out

848
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 2: of the seven days, just don't have a plan and

849
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 2: just relax.

850
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: Okay. I mean I don't have a plan every day, but.

851
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. As right, or no, is

852
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 2: this terrible? Is this terrible advisue? It's great, It's great,

853
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 2: just like you like almost can surprise him in a way.

854
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: He's gonna know.

855
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 4: No, I don't think you will after vacation when he

856
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 4: listens to the podcast, but whatever, you can try it

857
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 4: on and be like I tried it.

858
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 3: It would be such a gift to him. Yeah, it would,

859
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,840
Speaker 3: because you know, to give him his version of the

860
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 3: vacation for a day is just yeah, what a gift.

861
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 3: But you know what beyond what a gift it is

862
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 3: to him, I kind of want to know what that

863
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 3: would give you, to be able to just relax.

864
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: Can I answer for because I'm almost thinking she's just

865
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 2: gonna say stress. Yeah, I don't think you can do it.

866
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 2: I don't and I don't mean it out of like

867
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 2: not love, but I'm just like, I think it's gonna

868
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 2: stress you out more, just not have something to do

869
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 2: for each of the children.

870
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: If it's just me, I am like the queen of relaxing,

871
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: Like I could binge, watch Netflix and like have no issues.

872
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: But when you get the kids involved and it's mom

873
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: mom mo mo mo, mom mom, I find it just

874
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 1: much easier to have activities. That's all it really is.

875
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: I can chill now. I don't love just like sunbathing

876
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,879
Speaker 1: all day long if you haven't picked up on that

877
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: by on the beach, because I cannot just sit there

878
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: and lay there in the sun all day long.

879
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 2: Right, But maybe that's just what they wanted to do

880
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: and go down those fun little slides.

881
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: Oh we'reon'll be going down the fun little.

882
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? For like in not doing

883
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 2: something that day and just letting Nick take it over

884
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 2: because it can be you don't need to carry every

885
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: day of planning. Moms take it on as their thing. True,

886
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 2: let him have a day and he again then in

887
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 2: a way thinks he's like cool, you.

888
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 3: Know what I mean?

889
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 1: All Right, fine, I'll give him one day to plan.

890
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 1: I will report back and let.

891
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 3: Y'all know how.

892
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 2: She will report that.

893
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 3: Let's refine it, though, because I think there's this thing

894
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 3: called making a deal that I love where it's not

895
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 3: a compromise and it's not like, oh, you're now going

896
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 3: to have to be stressed all day and it's going

897
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 3: to be really hard in taxing on you because then

898
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 3: there'll be fallout from there. Right that it's okay in

899
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 3: order to give you that this is what I need.

900
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 3: You know, it's a little bit of like back and

901
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 3: forth until you know, you get spaw time to you know,

902
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 3: decompress from it, or there's somebody else, you know, the

903
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 3: kid daycare, you know at this hotel that takes over.

904
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: But there's got to be a way that you make

905
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 3: this that really serves you both.

906
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's speaking my language. Okay, I can do this. Yeah,

907
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,399
Speaker 1: I'm not saying the game.

908
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 2: This is what I heard. This is not what I said.

909
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 2: I want you to recovery.

910
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: There's no plan for today except for you get.

911
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 3: The kids all day.

912
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was not what I was going for. Oh sure,

913
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 2: where can our listeners again find you and everything that

914
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 2: you're doing.

915
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 3: Oh, they can find me at the sirencall dot com

916
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 3: or Shari Heally And yeah, there's a whole lot of good, new,

917
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 3: amazing things coming out of my work. Like what my

918
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 3: calling is to help you? My calling is to help

919
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 3: you answer yours. So it's really after all these years,

920
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:57,280
Speaker 3: sixteen years of coaching and working with people in branding

921
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 3: and leaders and companies to help them find their purpose,

922
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 3: it's all come down to Siren and that's the new

923
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 3: the new brand to really help people find their purpose

924
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 3: and live it.

925
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: I love that. All right, well, we'll get you back on,

926
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: we'll have the fiance on, and then we can make

927
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 2: a plan for our our thing.

928
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 3: I love I would love it. I'd love to meet him.

929
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,439
Speaker 3: Congratulations and thank you you too.

930
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you too. Good luck with the moss.

931
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 3: Thank you.

932
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 2: Okay, bye bye girl. That was funny. I love her,

933
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 2: She's so sweet. I want her to do and I

934
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 2: don't have to look now, but I need her to

935
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 2: do like some kind of meditation things. I'm real big

936
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:41,919
Speaker 2: into meditating now. Meditating meditation, Yeah, like Alan will always

937
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 2: be Katie wanted to like a ten minute meditation? And

938
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 2: or does this start since I met Alan? Because he

939
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 2: does like these little like ten minute meditations. They're so relaxing.

940
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 1: I know we've had this conversation before, but do you

941
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: truly think of nothing in those ten minutes?

942
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 2: No? Okay, I will be like, oh I got to

943
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 2: do but then I'm like, oh, go back. So it's

944
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 2: just like training your brain. Now, I don't think as

945
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 2: I don't think of as many things. And then there's

946
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: one that's really good. We actually fell asleep to it

947
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 2: last night. It's like a go to sleep meditation. It's

948
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 2: so nice because my brain, you know, her brains are

949
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 2: still like going and stuff. So yeah, it's great. But

950
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 2: I feel like she's got such a good voice for

951
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 2: like meditation, so calming.

952
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to do that on here one day

953
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: if I can do it.

954
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 2: The meditation. Yeah, it's really great. I get seriously, I

955
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 2: never thought I could do it, but because I thought,

956
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 2: I was like, well, mom, I'm always thinking of something. Yeah, yes,

957
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 2: and you go right.

958
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: Back right sure makes sense.

959
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:42,240
Speaker 2: Well, I'm very excited for your vacation.

960
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 1: Thank you.

961
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 2: You want to come back on Thursday for some more

962
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:50,320
Speaker 2: breaking news, I would love to stay tuned.