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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com.

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Speaker 1: All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: and we could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 2: You never know, it could be yours, could be yours.

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Speaker 3: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 3: you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, nephew. Subject to my marriage or my pleasure.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married almost twenty years and

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Speaker 1: my husband has put me in a difficult position. When

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Speaker 1: we first got together, we were swingers for a few years.

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Speaker 1: We only did it when we were on vacation, and

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Speaker 1: it was only with the couples we traveled with. We

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Speaker 1: used to have an occasional threesome, so my husband would

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Speaker 1: be happy. He would not let me bring another man

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Speaker 1: into the threesome, so he let me go have sex

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Speaker 1: with an old friend of mine a few times over

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Speaker 1: the years. But lately my husband doesn't want to have

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Speaker 1: sex at all. He said he's had enough wild sexual

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Speaker 1: experiences to last a lifetime. It's not a medical thing

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Speaker 1: because his stuff is still working properly.

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Speaker 2: It's been eight months since he's.

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Speaker 1: Touched me, and on top of that, he changed the

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Speaker 1: rules of our marriage.

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Speaker 2: He told me that if he suspects I'm looking up

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Speaker 2: with my guy on the side, he will leave me.

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Speaker 1: I do not like ultimatum, so I told him that

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Speaker 1: I need to be pleasured, and since he's changed his

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Speaker 1: outlook on intimacy, I have to handle business elsewhere. Two

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Speaker 1: days ago, after work, I went to meet my side

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Speaker 1: guy for drinks. We planned to have sex after drinks,

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Speaker 1: so we started fooling around at the bar. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: wait to give him a nice long kiss. As we

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Speaker 1: were kissing, my husband walked up and asked me to

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Speaker 1: leave with him. I left, but I did not talk

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Speaker 1: to him all the way home. He has threatened to

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Speaker 1: divorce me, and he said he will say I cheated

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Speaker 1: on him in the paperwork.

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Speaker 2: How can he do that when.

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Speaker 1: We've cheated on each other and with each other all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, he is a model husband, and he's

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Speaker 1: forgotten that he introduced me to this lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: I need to.

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Speaker 1: Stay married because we have too many assets together, but

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Speaker 1: I need the D two.

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Speaker 2: What should I do here? Why?

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Speaker 1: What? Wow? Okay, See, this is what happens when swinging

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Speaker 1: in threesomes and going outside of your marriage for sex

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Speaker 1: and all that. This is what happens when it goes bad.

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Speaker 1: One thing is true that your husband said, and that

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Speaker 1: is that he's had enough wile sex to last him

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Speaker 1: a lifetime.

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Speaker 2: I believe that.

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Speaker 1: I don't see how you guys made it for twenty

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Speaker 1: years doing this, But why don't you believe him? Yes,

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Speaker 1: he may have introduced you to this lifestyle, but he

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Speaker 1: says he's done with it now. People grow, people change,

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Speaker 1: people change all the time.

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Speaker 2: He's over it. The problem is there's two of you

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Speaker 2: in this marriage.

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Speaker 1: He introduced you to this lifestyle and now he's made

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Speaker 1: the decision without you to stop it. It's good that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want to swing anymore, because maybe your marriage

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Speaker 1: has a chance to survive, although I really don't see

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Speaker 1: it at this point because you said you just want

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Speaker 1: to stay together because you have too many assets together.

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Speaker 1: But the fact is that he doesn't want to have

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Speaker 1: sex with you anymore is definitely an issue if you

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Speaker 1: guys are going to be together. I mean what are

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Speaker 1: you supposed to do with this new information? And what

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Speaker 1: are you supposed to do in a marriage with no sex?

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Speaker 1: So you continue to do what you've been doing, seeing

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Speaker 1: other guys, seeing your side guy, and that's what he

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Speaker 1: said is going to make him leave you. Now he's

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Speaker 1: given you an ultimatum which you said you don't like.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like your husband is serious about all

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Speaker 1: of this. So if you don't stop having sex with

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Speaker 1: others and he doesn't start having sex with you again,

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Speaker 1: your marriage, and I use that term very loosely, your

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Speaker 1: marriage or your version of marriage is over. So those

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Speaker 1: are your options. Those are your options. It's not really

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Speaker 1: much of a marriage anyway.

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Speaker 4: Steve, Well, let's comment on this raggedy letter my marriage

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Speaker 4: or my pleasure? Well, I don't know what to tell you, lady,

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Speaker 4: I really don't. You've been married for almost twenty years

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Speaker 4: and now you're saying your husband has put you in.

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Speaker 3: A difficult situation. That's really odd to you.

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Speaker 4: And then you start telling us how when y'all was together,

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Speaker 4: y'all was swingers for a few years. Really, we only

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Speaker 4: did it when we were on vacation, and it was

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Speaker 4: only with couples. We travel with. Why do these people

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Speaker 4: be finding each other out? Is it a web site?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: All of that?

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Speaker 4: What is going Oh? Man, I ain't never what's going on?

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Speaker 4: How do you who introduces this to the other person?

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Speaker 4: How do you take this in there to your wife

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Speaker 4: and go, baby, I've been looking at this right here.

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Speaker 3: You want to try this?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I don't hear these people.

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Speaker 4: Then she said, we used to have an occasional threesome

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Speaker 4: so my husband would be happy, and he would not

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Speaker 4: let me bring another man into the threesome. Well, I

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Speaker 4: mean I understand that personally, but you said something to

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Speaker 4: here is very telling. We used to have an occasional

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Speaker 4: threesome so my husband would be happy.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, oh okay.

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Speaker 4: So now the swinging wasn't enough. Let's do a threesome

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Speaker 4: so your husband could be happy. And he found you

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Speaker 4: and you married into this. So since he wouldn't let

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Speaker 4: you bring another man, he would let you go have

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Speaker 4: sex with an old friend of yours for a few

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Speaker 4: times over the years. But lately my husband don't want

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Speaker 4: to have sex at all. Let me just say this.

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Speaker 3: He tied to you. He tied to you, and he

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Speaker 3: don't love you.

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Speaker 4: Any time you send your wife off to the arms

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Speaker 4: of another man's because you don't care nothing about him.

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Speaker 4: You just don't care about her. And that's the reality

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Speaker 4: of one of the aspects of this letter. Your husband

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Speaker 4: don't give a damn about you. I'm gonna send you

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Speaker 4: off to another man. I'm gonna bring another woman in here.

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Speaker 4: I'm we gonna swing. I'm gonna watch another man do

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Speaker 4: you and you watch me do another woman.

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Speaker 3: Man, get out of here.

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Speaker 2: Hang on, Steve, hang on.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour today strawberry letter, subject

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Speaker 1: my marriage or my Pleasure. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Hard Morning Show. All right,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject

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Speaker 1: is my marriage or my pleasure.

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Speaker 3: A couple bit married twenty years.

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Speaker 4: They used to be swingers, but they only did it

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Speaker 4: on vacation with couples that they went on vacation with.

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Speaker 4: I don't know how they found each other. People do

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Speaker 4: it all the time, though. Then he said, she said,

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Speaker 4: when you used to have an occasional threesome, so my

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Speaker 4: husband would be happy, So he need all this he

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Speaker 4: to convince you to give yourself to another man while

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Speaker 4: y'all on vacation, so he could be with another woman

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Speaker 4: on vacation. And now he wanted some more women in

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Speaker 4: here so he could be happy. But he wouldn't let

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Speaker 4: you bring a man in the room because now it's

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Speaker 4: two dudes in him, and he wouldn't.

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Speaker 3: Let you do that.

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Speaker 4: But he would let you go have sex with an

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Speaker 4: old friend a few times over the years. But lately

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Speaker 4: my husband don't want to have sex at all because

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Speaker 4: he don't give a damn about you. If you with

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Speaker 4: the man that will let you let another man have you,

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Speaker 4: it's because he don't value you.

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Speaker 3: There's no value.

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Speaker 4: I would want somebody to marry me because they loved

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Speaker 4: me and wanted to be with me and share life

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Speaker 4: with me, not share me with other people life.

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Speaker 3: Y'all ain't got nothing here.

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Speaker 4: He said he had enough wild sex experiences to last

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Speaker 4: a lifetime. Is not a medical thing because this stuff

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Speaker 4: is still working properly. It's been eight months since he

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Speaker 4: touched me, and on top of that, he changed the

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Speaker 4: rules of our marriage, or it's been eight months.

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Speaker 3: Since he tied of you.

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Speaker 4: See, he done went along with this all these years

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Speaker 4: now he tired of it and he tied of you.

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Speaker 4: He told me that if he suspects I'm hooking up

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Speaker 4: with my guy on the side, he will leave me.

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Speaker 4: I don't like ultimatoes, so I told him I need

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Speaker 4: to be pleasured. And since he changed it out look

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Speaker 4: on intimacy, I have to handle my business elsewhere.

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Speaker 3: Okay, why don't y'all just get divorced.

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Speaker 4: Y'all ain't had no marriage and it be yon't even

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Speaker 4: why you call it my marriage or my pleasure. It's

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Speaker 4: just been a hookup for pleasure. Y'all just swim threesomes,

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Speaker 4: dating apps, wild parties, pass around. Y'all been passing each

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Speaker 4: other around for twenty years. Two days ago, after work,

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Speaker 4: I went to meet my side guy for drinks. We

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Speaker 4: planned to have sex after drinks, so we started fooling

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Speaker 4: around the bar. I couldn't wait to give him a

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Speaker 4: nice long kiss. As we was kissing, my husband walked

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Speaker 4: up and asked me to leave with him. Wait a minute,

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Speaker 4: what see it? Where's the police report at right here?

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Speaker 4: But I don't understand. I walk up my wife kissing

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Speaker 4: the man he asked me to leave with him. Well,

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Speaker 4: we're not finna leave him. We're not finna leave him

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Speaker 4: when we can't go no where. I gotta pay for

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Speaker 4: the damages.

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Speaker 3: I gotta.

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Speaker 4: You know, when they put that yellow tampa up, it

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Speaker 4: says you cannot cross it. We can't even get out

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Speaker 4: of here. I got to feel out this police report.

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Speaker 4: I'm in the backseat of the car talking. I got

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Speaker 4: to go down here to this little interview room so

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Speaker 4: they can talk to me downtown. And he asked me

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Speaker 4: to leave with him, but I left, but I did

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Speaker 4: not talk to him all the way home. He has

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Speaker 4: threatened to divorce me, and he said he will say

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Speaker 4: that I cheated on him on the paperwork. How can

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Speaker 4: he do that when we've cheated on each other and

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Speaker 4: with each other all of a sudden, he's a model

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Speaker 4: husband and he's forgot that he introduced me to this lifestyle.

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Speaker 4: I need to stay married because we have too many

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Speaker 4: assets together.

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Speaker 3: But I need the D two. What should I do here?

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Speaker 4: Well, this marriage is a rap because it never was

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Speaker 4: a marriage. And you're right, he introduced you to this lifestyle.

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Speaker 4: Now he want to chain you. But now you living

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Speaker 4: a life. This is your style. This is it? Do

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Speaker 4: you know in this whole letter. The word love was

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Speaker 4: never mentioned, not one single time. Ain't nobody in love

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Speaker 4: with nobody? You're sitting at the box, couldn't wait to

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Speaker 4: kiss this man? Your husband? Come up, he ain't even upset.

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Speaker 4: He tell you to leave with him? Hey, neither one

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Speaker 4: of y'all in love?

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Speaker 3: Wow?

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Speaker 4: So what you're fighting for this marriage for? Why aren't

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Speaker 4: you gonna be free so you can do whatever you want?

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Speaker 4: One of these assets is what you're talking about?

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Speaker 3: Right? What didnt happen is see all his asses, set

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Speaker 3: all this emotion.

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Speaker 2: Come on, break it down one more time. I like it.

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Speaker 3: I said, all his ass and set all this in emotion.

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Speaker 4: That's what your asset and done?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Y'all's asked the sect the relationship on five.

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Speaker 3: See, so now you're.

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Speaker 4: Talking about this, let's talk about assets for a minute.

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Speaker 4: Like I said, all this ass is set, all this

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Speaker 4: in motion, and y'all been passing out ass in sets.

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Speaker 4: This ain't even a good tennis match. Tennis was played

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Speaker 4: in sex with two people. Ain't never been three people

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Speaker 4: on tennis court. You gotta play doubles. So this is

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Speaker 4: a rap. I don't really, lady, I can't help you

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Speaker 4: stay in the marriage. He's not having sex with you,

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Speaker 4: but I want you to understand something. He having sex somewhere,

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Speaker 4: having sex for eight months.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you every right now, all right, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 2: thank you.

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Speaker 1: Hit us up on Instagram at Steve Harvey Fm to

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Speaker 1: comment on today's Strawberry Letter. You can also check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on the I Heart app.

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Speaker 2: Okay, coming up.

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Speaker 1: Next to the Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to The Harvey Morning Show