WEBVTT - 634 Ways to Not Kill Fidel Castro 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.400 Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:08.760 Elizabeth Dunton, Aren, I'm not done, Zaren Burnette. 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:11.480 You left out the third. 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:12.760 Yea and the Walter. 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:18.120 And the sir and the esquire, Elizabe Dutton. I got 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:23.520 a question for you, mcgaro. Do you know it's ridiculous? Yeah? 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:24.880 I do, I do. 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:27.520 I was really just counting on you not knowing. 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.440 I know, and then you just get to run with it. No, nobody, 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:33.760 I'm gonna throw a wrench in this. You know what 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:35.880 a mocha pot is? 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:37.320 Is that where you pour that stuff in your. 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:39.440 No, that's a that's a netty pot. Now, this is 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:42.440 an Italian coffee pot. Don't know what it is, but 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:45.279 it's sort of like got a decagon shaped to it, 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:48.360 and it has a chamber in the bottom of it 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:51.000 and that's where you put the water, and then it 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:55.320 has a basket for the grounds and then up top 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:59.000 like the heat draws the water up through through. 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:01.880 Steam coffee that way. You know, you've seen them. 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:06.600 I'm sure it's a silver silver, yeah, and so it's 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:08.920 a big deal. There's like two hundred million of them 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:14.160 have been made. Are you getting nervous? No, you should 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.000 not back. So this thing, this thing was invented by 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:21.000 Luigi di Ponti in Italy in the thirties, and then 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:26.360 the patents were purchased by Alfonso Biletti, and Alfonso had 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:30.400 a boy, Renato, and in the mid forties, Renato took 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:34.240 over the company and he just marketed the heck out 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.800 of these and that's why they become like this standard 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:40.800 bearer for you can make an almost espresso like coffee. 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:42.760 It's very rich, robust, is like Ilio. 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:44.360 Is that the brand that makes stuff for. 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:45.120 This kind of like that. 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.440 Yeah, but this is like if you see it, you'll 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:51.920 know it anyway. So Renato Biletti he passed away at 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:55.720 the age of ninety three in twenty sixteen. I know, 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:59.880 and his children, he has three kids. They had him 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:05.640 cremated and his cremaines were put into a giant Mocha pot. 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:08.840 Oh nice. See this is like the Pringles guy he was. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:12.600 Yes, he was buried inside a large urn shaped like 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:14.640 his stove top coffee maker. 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:15.639 I like it. 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:17.560 Yes, it's a little bit ridiculous. 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:18.200 It is ridiculous. 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:19.120 This comes to us. 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:22.200 This is not only an international story because it's from Italy, 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.919 but it was given to us by Helga in Germany. 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:27.560 Ah, Donka Helga, So. 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:32.280 I yes, Donka to you? Don Ka Shane Darling, Donky Shane. 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:35.280 Do you remember Cecil Parking fall? You toy your dress? 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:36.600 What a mess? 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:39.359 I confess anyway, that is a good one. 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:40.080 Yeah, I know it is. 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:42.320 That's why I said it got a hell a ridiculous 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.080 one for you. Hit me for more than forty years. 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:50.600 The Central Intelligence Agency aka the Agency, aka the company 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:54.239 aka the CIA. They and their spies, they tried to 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:56.960 kill the same man six hundred and thirty four. 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.799 Times, six hundred and thirty four. 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:00.800 Yes, And this man he was just like you know, 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:04.000 he was a one time baseball pitching prospect. 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:06.120 Like Jason Bourne. Huh Jason Bourne. 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:08.079 No, No, he was a real person. But do you 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:13.160 see his path diverge. Isn't a real person, not totally 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:16.079 a real person. He's real to you. Yeah, so that 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.079 counts well. This guy, he's real, like to everybody, right 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.000 and he uh he as I told you, a baseball 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.920 pitching prospect, but his path diverged from baseball and eventually 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.440 he becomes a revolutionary and you would know him as 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:31.320 Fidel Castro. Y know, Elizabeth, I know you're worried, like, wait, 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:33.720 six hundred and thirty four murder attempts. Yeah, that sounds 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.400 like we're going to just smash through our like one 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:41.800 percent murder. Well, spoiler alert, the CIA never successfully assassinated 0:03:41.840 --> 0:04:04.880 Fidel Castro. Amazing, but boy, how did did they try? 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:09.680 This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers. 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:12.360 Heiss and cons it's always ninety nine percent murder free 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:19.239 and one hundred percent ridiculous. Elizabeth Sarin, the former head 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:23.720 of the Cuban Intelligence. This dude was named Fabian Escalante. 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:26.680 He stepped out of the shadows where spies exist and 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:29.680 he publicly claimed that the Yankees tried to kill Fidell 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:31.000 six hundred and thirty four times. 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:32.240 The baseball team, not the. 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:34.800 Baseball team from New York, No, the Yankees as in. 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:37.080 US Americans, the Yanks, Yeah. 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:40.640 Exactly, the Yankees. So this cat Escalante, he had the 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:43.040 receipts right because he's the head of the Cuban intelligence. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.000 He knows where the bodies are buried right now, being 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:48.960 the former head of Cuban intelligence, he broke down how 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.200 all of the attempts went by president for forty years. 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:55.800 He lists them out for you so very quickly. Dwight D. 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.640 Eisenhower kicks it off in nineteen fifty nine. He took 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.840 thirty eight attempts. John F. Kennedy he followed him. He 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.240 took forty two attempts. LDJ took seventy two attempts. They're 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.680 ramping up by the time we get to Nixon. Nixon 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:10.080 goes for a record one hundred and eighty four attempts. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.359 Jimmy Carter clocks in. It's sixty four attempts. Record is 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.560 broken by Reagan with one hundred and ninety seven attempts. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.599 On Castro's life, Dan George H. W. Bush keeps it 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:24.120 solid with a nice little conservative sixteen, and then Bill 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:27.400 Clinton ends the era with twenty one of his own. 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:29.600 This is like fifty ways to leave your lover. 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.880 Right exactly, Bill Clinton trying to kill Castro. I'm like, 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.599 my dude, seriously, the Cold War is over. What's the 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:38.200 point here? Are you just trying to get in on 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:41.160 that JFK energy? Yes, Like, look my obsession it runs 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.479 that deep. I want to be like the kid. So anyway, Elizabeth, 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:47.120 you may be thinking Zarin, of course, the head of 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.479 the Cuban version of the CIA would say some nonsense 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:50.760 like this. 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:52.039 That's exactly what I was thinking. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.279 Six hundred and thirty four attempts that can't be true. 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:58.240 That must be revolutionary propaganda, isn't it. Zaren great questions, Elizabeth, 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.479 Thank you. Normally I would agree with you normally, but 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:02.680 this is totally the propaganda. But we don't have to 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:05.040 believe Escalante, not in this case. Do you know why 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.239 because we have the Church Committee and its Senate hearings. 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:10.600 Huh yeah, do you know the Church Committee is familiar with. 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:15.080 The Church Committee is a big marquee Congressional investigation in 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:17.920 the nineteen seventies. It was famous for pulling back the 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:22.719 veil on countless crimes committed by the CIA. Now, most 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.160 of them were overseas, some of them were domestic. They 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.800 worked both foreign antheistic, which is totally against the law. 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:30.120 But anyway, we don't have to take the Cuban's word 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.719 for it because we have the CIA and the FBI, 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.000 and the US Senate and the House road representatives. They 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:38.080 all said the same thing. So you know, here, let 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:39.640 me just read to you from this file that I 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:42.960 have over here marked secretize only this is from the 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.680 National archives. It is no longer secretized only, but it 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:49.520 originally was. Now, this is a CIA document that records 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.600 the agency's countless attempts to kill Castro, and I quote. 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.240 This reconstruction of agency involvement in plans to assassinate Fidel 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:59.479 Castro is at best an imperfect history because of the 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:03.320 extremes insitivity of the operations being discussed or attempted. As 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:06.040 a matter of principle, no official records were kept of 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:10.240 planning or approvals or of implementation. So they're like, yeah, 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:14.200 we kept it. Hush hush, right, hush hush. Now, despite 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:17.760 this apparent difficulty with the with you know, basically documenting 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.600 their investigation, they still were able to produce one hundred 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:23.480 and forty three page report documenting all the ways they 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:24.320 tried to kill Castro. 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:25.520 Oh wait, and how many was it? 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.280 Six? Six hundred and thirty four? 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.640 Huh so they're doing a couple per page? 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:32.760 Oh yeah. It was like the script from Airplane. It 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:35.000 is just joke after joke every like was it one 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.280 joke or three jokes every minute of pre Airplane? It 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:40.080 was like that. But murders attempts love it, Okay, sow. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:43.600 Starting back in nineteen seventy three, the Senate Watergate Committee investigation. 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:47.160 It starts looking into these rumors of the Watergate break 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:50.880 ins and what Nixon was eventually going to be impeached for. Now, 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.400 the American people, they learned through the Watergates that their 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.000 nations leaders and our spies had been conducting these clan 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:59.760 destined operations. Right to put it mildly, they were constitutionally corrupt. 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:00.560 Now. 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:04.880 The next year, in nineteen seventy four, Seymour Hirsch, this journalist, 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:08.760 investigative journalist, he goes and writes a story for the 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.560 New York Times and expose that reveals that the CIA 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.880 has been spying on Americans. Back then, this was shocking 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:19.000 to us. We're like, oh, the frenchman with a cigarette 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:20.880 tell me something I did me to know, you know. 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:24.720 But at that time, congressional investigations get launched. It's a 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:27.520 big deal, Elizabeth, I'm telling you. The next year, nineteen 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:31.120 seventy five, it gets nicknamed the Year of Intelligence. This 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:34.560 is due to hold the investigations into the CIA, the FBI, 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.880 the NSA, even the irs gets dragged in. Right now, 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:40.920 this all comes under the Church Committee, led by Idaho 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:45.199 Democratic Senator Frank Church. Now that's the name exactly. Now, 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:47.800 his committee was the real deal, serious, like I'm gonna 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:49.320 get to the heart of the matter. He had one 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:52.760 hundred and twenty six full committee meetings, that's not normal, 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:57.439 forty subcommittee hearings, eight hundred witnesses, eleven sorry, one hundred 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:02.240 and ten thousand documents were perused. And yes, finally in 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.559 April seventy six, the committee publishes its report. Now, most 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.560 of these times we've seen these reports, they're always big. 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:09.920 It could be best to be used as a door stop, 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.400 but this one was a door buster. It just went 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:14.880 up there and kicked the door in. Because the Church 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:19.040 Committee hearings declared that dating back to FDR and continuing 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:22.200 right on through the early seventies, there had been one 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:26.400 endless program of spying and destabilization of democracies, both at 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:29.800 home and abroad. Yeah, so they basically just determined that 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:32.200 regardless of the party in power, they had been running 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.280 just pretty much any anti democratic effort they could, and 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:38.480 it wasn't just tricky Dick Nixon. So the Church Committee 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.400 then reveals like all sorts of stuff that people we 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:44.520 know about them. Now, So there's a famous operations by 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.160 the CIA like mk Ultra. Yep, this comes out in 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:50.840 the Church Committee hearings. That's the CIA's mind control program 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:55.320 where they basically took a bunch of involuntary you know, volunteers, 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:57.920 and they use them for human experiments, right to determine 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:00.160 how do we mind control people with like drugs and like, 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:02.959 you know, psychic abuse. Then they went on they did 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.439 co Intel pro That was the FBI's program. That was 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:08.000 Jaegar Hoover's little pet project to hold black people down 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:11.080 and pretty much any other social justice campaign. So he 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:14.320 had agents infiltrating the like the Panthers and all these 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:17.280 other social justice and civil rights organizations, and then artists 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.720 artists as well, and then he does the divide and 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:22.840 conquer you ghet them with the breakup social movements, rumors 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:26.280 and drugs and bad cop busts or whatever. Right. Then 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:28.440 there was the CIA's program, This is the one I 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.600 wanted to tell you about, which is family Jewels. 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:32.640 Family Jewels, that's what they called it. 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.120 Family Jewels, like kick them in the So this cute 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:38.160 little name was the CIA's nickname for their decades long 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:42.319 program to assassinate foreign leaders leaders leaders multiple So the 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.400 Church Committee, they published a sub report. One of the 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:48.760 forty was called the Alleged Assassination Plots Involving Foreign Leaders. 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:52.319 It outlines the CIA's attempts to kill No Dn Diem 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:56.280 of South Vietnam, Patrese La Mumba of Zaire, Rafael Trujillo 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.240 from the Dominican Republic, and the big big batty, the 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:02.600 bearded one, Fidel Castro. So if you'd like to read more, 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.880 then you could check out CIA Covert Operations two, The 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:10.240 Year of Intelligence in nineteen seventy five. Book. It's a book. 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.559 It's a huge book printed by the CIA. 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:13.560 As a movie. 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:16.480 I know, like what it like electric boogaloo? 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:17.440 Yes exactly. 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.680 Yeah. So if you also, if we want some lighter reading, 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:22.400 you can go to the National Archives of Elizabeth. I 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:25.240 book mark some sites for you. But I know you're like, Zaren, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:27.160 tell me more about the six hundred and thirty four 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:31.119 failed attempts to kill Castro. They're all one hundred percent ridiculous. 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:33.880 It sounds like I'm guaranteeing you that. So all right, 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.240 Dwight D. Eisenhower, Ike, Yeah, that's where it starts, right, 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:42.280 who is his vice president? Virulent anti communist, tricky Dick Nixon. 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:42.840 That's right. 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.080 So Richard Nixon, he took it upon himself and he 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.800 met Castro. He met Fidel in person in Washington, DC 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.440 in April nineteenth, nineteen sixty. Now he sits down with 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.719 Castro in the Vice President's office in the Capitol. The 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:58.400 two men sit together for three hours. Right now. This 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.840 is right after the Cuban Revolution is been successful. 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:01.040 Right. 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.280 So Nixon is like, no, now look here, Fiddel, we 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:06.640 don't want to get that funny business with the Soviets. 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.280 If you're prepared to let Pepstery and my friends back 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:13.480 into Cuba, we can play ball. You like ball, don't 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.280 you a Fidel? And beg. Fiddel's like, yeah, I don't 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.200 even know about this Bison. Right, but the guy, you know, 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.440 at this time, Cast's opinion of America it begins to 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.240 swiftly reverse. He actually liked America, well, reasonably, he liked America. 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.720 He liked the ideals of America. He was against US imperialism, 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.240 but he liked America. Right. And then he met Richard 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:34.680 Nixon and he's like, so much for all that we 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:36.480 have to know, I'm not you know about this. In 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.760 nineteen fifty nine, Fidel wins his revolution, and what does 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.680 he do to celebrate? He comes to New York, and 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:43.120 he comes to New York. He's like, hey, in the 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:45.559 way of YORKA and he's like partying, right, and he's 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:48.680 like everyone's like he's he's walking around in the revolutionary dogs, 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.760 like right out of the jungle. Right. He has yet 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:52.960 to declare himself a communist at this point. So America 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:54.760 they love him. He goes to the Bronx Zoo. He's 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.480 hand feeding tigers. He's chatting with anyone on the streets 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.800 in New York in English. Bind you. He gets a 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:01.680 whole tell room and Harlems. He can be by the 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:04.840 people right until he's this huge hit. The New York 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.640 Times writes about him. They're calling him quot quote, this 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:09.959 young man is larger than life. You know. Now for 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:13.280 some contacts and contrast, the time goes and compares his 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:17.320 revolution to our revolution. They say that Castro stepped onto 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:20.240 the world stage. Quote not only out of another world, 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:22.800 the world of fierce Latin passion, but also out of 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:26.240 another century, the century of Sam Adams and Patrick Henry 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.920 and Thomas Paine and Thomas Jefferson. Perhaps because he stirred 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.400 memories long dimmed of a revolutionary past, and recalled a 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:35.400 new order once deeply felt. 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.320 Oh my goodness, damn New York Times. 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:41.199 All about the castra. Right. Meanwhile, you got Richard Nixon 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.920 is like, you know, I met with Fordell, we talked awhile, 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.560 and I think we should kill him. So that was 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.719 his take, right, that's Nixon's whole of you. Now this 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:52.720 you may be wondering, Saren, why is Nixon so kill crazy? 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:54.679 I know he doesn't like communists, but they killed him. 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.960 What's up with them? Well, you have to understand that's 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:58.560 like his love language. Right. 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:01.760 He wasn't the first to say kill him pretty. 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:05.080 No, but pretty much Eisenhower. But he's the vice president 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.880 under US, so he was collaborating with the CIA. So 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:10.320 basically it is kind of Nixon's pet project. He's like, 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.800 before I get the carbon bombing, I'm gonna try to 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.319 just take out one man with my old pal. So 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.880 the thing Nixon, he spots this commy threat, right, and 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.480 it's one with a Spanish accent. So that's just irritating 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.720 him and scaring him. So he's it's doubly dangerous to 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.160 his way of thinking because it'll inflame Latin America. And 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.480 he's got big plans for PepsiCo, right, So he's like, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:30.160 we got to get this these you know, the factories 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:34.320 an't gonna build themselves communists. So Fidel he does what 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.840 Nixon fears most. He sides with the Soviets, all right, 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.120 so he declares himself with communist So now the CIA 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:44.480 comes up with the plan, we have to destabilize Castor's revolution. 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:48.800 So what's their answer, Elizabeth, Let's give him acid. So 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:52.360 their first plan is to give Fidel LSD. How do 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.720 you think the CIA acid party played out for Fidel? 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:57.360 Not good, Bob. 0:14:58.160 --> 0:14:59.680 Let's take a quick break and I'll tell you all 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:25.840 about uh, Fidel's LSD acid test with the CIA. All right, Elizabeth, right, Tiger, 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:29.400 we're back, all right, Claude, you're ready to hear about 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:33.600 the CIA's LSD distribution program in Cuba. At the beginning 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:36.280 of the kill Castro campaign, the agency wasn't so blood thirsty. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:37.960 And they told you they first started out with the 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:39.800 goal of let's just embarrass. 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:41.400 Castros, like pull down his pants or something. 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:43.360 Basically, that was their whole idea. They're like, if we 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.520 pant over the world, bare bottom, he'd be. 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:47.760 That'll show him, that'll learn him good. 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:49.760 This was still the Eisenhower era. It was a more 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:50.480 innocent America. 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.880 It was wholesome. Pantsing is a wholesome activity. 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.800 Very fifties, yes, very yeah. If he had, like if 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.040 they could have driven over to Castro's house and just 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:00.560 like knocked over his mailbox with like a small bat 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.080 and a convertible, they would have done that. 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.440 We'll get someone to like snap his bras straps in 0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:05.440 the hallways exactly. 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:07.280 Put a kick me sign on the back of Cuba. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:08.240 Yeah, I'll get them. 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.880 So Castro has been known to give super long speeches 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:13.720 to his people, and I mean super long, like seven 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:16.480 eight hour, nine hour long speeches. Right, So in August 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:19.200 nineteen sixties, CIA is like, that's our plan. We'll get 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.960 them while he's talking. So this is a few months 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:24.600 before the Kennedy Nixon election in nineteen sixty. We're in 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.800 August nineteen sixty, right, CIA they planned for quote, a 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.600 scheme to contaminate the air of the radio station where 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:33.400 Castro broadcast his speeches with an aerosol spray of a 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:36.080 chemical that produces reactions similar to those of like surgic 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.760 acid LSD. So they're going to try to get him 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:40.680 while he's on the radio and have him freak out. 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:42.960 Vapors breathing in aerosolized LSD. 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:44.640 Yeah exactly, and then have them have like a bad 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:45.560 trip live on the air. 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:46.000 Okay. 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.440 So somewhere along the way of them like loading up 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:51.560 their acme brands bugspray cannon with LSD, They're like, you 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:53.640 know what, this is a dumb idea. So then they 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:55.080 were like, okay, let's move on a new plane. 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:57.640 And then now they got all these cans of LSD spray. 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:00.320 Yeah, just sitting around. They're like, what we do about this? Well, 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:02.680 it's probably still in their warehouse. Yeah, just kicking back 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.080 there with like the I don't know, the Ark of 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.639 the Covenant, just a big warehouse, yeah, next to the 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.199 LSD for Cuba. So uh, let's see after that, what 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:12.679 did they do? Do you know what? They move on 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.560 to more pantsing. They go, what if we made his 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:18.360 beard fall off? That would totally get him. 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:19.560 Probably in the shampoo. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.040 Yeah. Basically they're like, so the CIA is like, uh, 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:23.639 you know, his beard is like a it's like a 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.879 symbol of power for him. It's talismanic. We need to 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:29.080 get rid of that. So they turned to New Jerseys 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:31.119 find his chemical makers, Like what do you got? Boys? 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.880 Got right? They're like, oh, we got this new stuff fallium. 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.280 They're like, tell me more about it. So the CIA 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:40.400 quote the idea was to dust thallium powder into Castro's 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.480 shoes when they were put out to be shined. The 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.399 scheme progressed as far as procuring the chemicals and testing 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.920 it on animals. So they're rubbing fallion on animals to 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.120 see if that would work on Castro's feet to make 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.320 his beard fall off. Right now, the idea was Castro 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:55.720 was going to go to the UN to speak in 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:58.320 New York in nineteen sixty the Sea. They planned to 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:00.800 sneak into his hotel. They would find his room and 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:03.080 then they would find his shoes left outside his room 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:05.800 to be shined. Then they would, like the spy would 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.320 dump some thallium powder in his shoes outside of the 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:09.000 hotel room. 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:10.879 Does he strike you as the shoes shine? Kind of? 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.359 It's so ridiculous. It's like they're trying to poison their dad. 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.879 How long does it take for the to kick in? 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:19.680 And I mean I would assume all of us here 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:20.520 it's not just a beard. 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.879 Removing exactly would be like a full depilatory. 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:24.480 So yeah, he's got. 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:28.920 He'd be losing armpit hair. I have no idea. I 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:29.879 didn't go into the research. 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:31.320 Can't imagine that. 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:32.399 I imagine a couple of days. 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:34.639 Oh, I would think it'd be longer than that, but 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:36.360 I don't think. I mean, I'm no scientist. 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.959 Do you work at Dow Chemicals? Sometimes anyway, the CIA 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:41.920 they move on to their next plan because they're like, 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.200 all right, Castro's beard is safe for now, what should 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:47.200 we do next? So what is their next plan? Exploding cigars? 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:48.480 Oh, you're kidding. 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.560 They're like the wiley eye wiley coyote of Assassin. 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:54.359 They went to like a magic shop and. 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:59.040 Hand could we use a double sided coin flip? 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:01.600 And he gets he's gonna sit down at the un 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.440 and their loudest fart sound you ever heard. 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:07.680 Will lean out whipp be cushioned darts will fly out 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:12.040 of they They turned to uh, basically, you know, James 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:14.679 Bond has quh So the CIA is like, who's our 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:16.880 quarter master? So they're like they go find the guy 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:20.760 and deepen the CA bowels of the basement. They're like, hey, 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.360 are you the quartermaster. Guy's like, nobody ever comes down 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:26.080 here anymore, not since the war. They're like, oh, we 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.359