Speaker 1: Hello everyone. You're about to hear an episode that we
Speaker 1: recorded live in Denver back in November. And speaking of
Speaker 1: live shows, uh, we just wanted to take this opportunity
Speaker 1: right at the top to tell you about a few
Speaker 1: more live shows that we have coming up in January.
Speaker 1: Starting with January twenty two, we will be in San
Speaker 1: Francisco for SF Sketch Fest at the Gateway Theater and
Speaker 1: we're covering the movie This Social Network. And then January
Speaker 1: will be in New York for the Brooklyn Podcast Festival
Speaker 1: at the Bellhouse and we will be covering Black Swan.
Speaker 1: And finally on January will be in Philadelphia at Good
Speaker 1: Good Comedy Theater and we will be covering The sixth Cents.
Speaker 1: So a lot of dark and eerie movies on this
Speaker 1: little tour. More details and ticket links are on our
Speaker 1: website beckelcast dot com and click on the live tab
Speaker 1: for all the information you need. The other thing we
Speaker 1: have to mention on this episode is that at this
Speaker 1: live show, we talked for so long about the movie
Speaker 1: The Santa Clause that we decided to split this episode
Speaker 1: up into two parts. So this is part one that
Speaker 1: you're listening to right now, and we are releasing part
Speaker 1: two tomorrow, so stay tuned for that. Until then, enjoy
Speaker 1: part one of the Santa Claus On the beck Del Cast.
Speaker 1: The questions asked if movies have women? And um? Are
Speaker 1: all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands? Do they have individualism?
Speaker 1: The patriarchy? Zef invest start changing it with the beck
Speaker 1: Del Cast. Hi, welcome to the Beckiel Cast. Oh, we're
Speaker 1: so excited. So we're we're in Denver, Colorado. Ever heard
Speaker 1: of it? We're so give it up for yourselves for
Speaker 1: coming out to night man. My name is Jamie Lofton,
Speaker 1: my name is Caitlin Durante, and we are the co
Speaker 1: host of the bettel Cast, the show you're currently at.
Speaker 1: Did you know, by round of applause, who listens to
Speaker 1: our show? Oh? And now for a moment of tension,
Speaker 1: who among you does not listen to the bettel Cast?
Speaker 1: No judgment. Brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, each and every
Speaker 1: one of you, not allies? Okay, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Hates women? Wow? Incredibly you all hate women? Okay? Um, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming. We we hope to convert you.
Speaker 1: We're gonna what is that move? A clockwork? Orange where
Speaker 1: you just know, that's kind of what this experience will
Speaker 1: be like. Yeah, uh so if you don't know, we
Speaker 1: talk about the representation of women in fees. We use
Speaker 1: the Bechtel test as a jumping off point to initiate
Speaker 1: a larger conversation. And the Bechtel test is a media
Speaker 1: metric created by cartoonist Alison Bechtel. It's sometimes called the
Speaker 1: Bechtel Wallace test. Yes, thank you, you're welcome, and uh.
Speaker 1: A movie will pass the Bechtel test if two female
Speaker 1: identifying characters with names speak to each other about something
Speaker 1: other than a man, can we demonstrate? Okay, so this
Speaker 1: is an example of an Academy Award winning scene between
Speaker 1: two female Hi, Caitlin, Hi, Jamie. All good scenes start
Speaker 1: like this, Kitlin, did you know that Santa Claus is
Speaker 1: a woman? Oh? Wow, now you know? And seen it's
Speaker 1: kind of like that. The best part of the Bechtel
Speaker 1: test is it doesn't have to even be good. Writing
Speaker 1: truly is a fair minimum metric, and so few movies
Speaker 1: pass it. It's incredible. I think arian A Grande should
Speaker 1: rewrite her God Is a Woman's Song as Santa Claus
Speaker 1: as a woman. For the holidays, hasn't I stand for Ariana,
Speaker 1: which is the most embarrassing thing about me. But she
Speaker 1: has I think the horny ist Christmas album out of
Speaker 1: all of the I mean, she has it's for all holidays,
Speaker 1: but it's it's very it's like, whoa, you know, you
Speaker 1: don't think you're gonna like turn on this music and
Speaker 1: be like I need to have sex immediately, but you
Speaker 1: just really gets you somewhere that you aren't expecting to go. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: highly recommending are in a grande holiday catalog if you're
Speaker 1: looking to spice up a relationship or if you're you know,
Speaker 1: just out there looking for someone, just just turn it
Speaker 1: all and people moths to a flame. Sure, I guess
Speaker 1: hard and I think most of that past the Bechtel test,
Speaker 1: assuming the sex you'll be having is not with a man,
Speaker 1: so which is always for the best. So he said, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's our that's what our podcast is. And now
Speaker 1: we get to I think we've chosen what I think
Speaker 1: is indisputably a feminist text. Oh yeah, it's really it's
Speaker 1: genuinely really hard when we're doing holiday movies because none
Speaker 1: of them are about women. Is truly alarmed. Um, Jamie
Speaker 1: the Princess Switch on Netflix, starring Vanessa Hudgens. But we
Speaker 1: already did that. We did, we did, and then we're
Speaker 1: going to do with the new one, the Oh the
Speaker 1: Night before Christmas, but night spelled with the case. It
Speaker 1: will be a classic. I like that. Vanessa Hudgens has
Speaker 1: just been like I am in charge of this gen
Speaker 1: right now. Like she just is really take I appreciate
Speaker 1: the take charge attitude. No one asked her to do it.
Speaker 1: She just was like, there's room here, and she's right.
Speaker 1: Her agents are probably begging her like please don't say
Speaker 1: yes to this other one, and she's like, no, I'm
Speaker 1: doing I'm doing this one for the story. It's so
Speaker 1: I mean holiday movies. I have not to bring it up.
Speaker 1: This is the time of year where the masses they revolt.
Speaker 1: Because my unproduced screenplay, Santa University, still hasn't been produced.
Speaker 1: It's been I wrote it in two thousand twelve. It's
Speaker 1: five hours long. It's if you haven't it's a musical.
Speaker 1: But the best part is it's about Santa University. Right,
Speaker 1: so at university where Santa's go, Santa's of all very
Speaker 1: inclusive university. Here's a twist. Only one Santa graduates a
Speaker 1: year and the rest die. It's because it's a good
Speaker 1: it would be people would lose their minds for this movie.
Speaker 1: They don't just die, they kill each other. They kill
Speaker 1: each other. I'm sorry. They don't die of like illness.
Speaker 1: They kill each other. It's very violent. You can and
Speaker 1: it can happen to anyone at any time. You know.
Speaker 1: It's really and the lead character is I think the most.
Speaker 1: It's just there there, you know what a woman went
Speaker 1: at the end. A woman becomes the one true Santa,
Speaker 1: which is great, but then also she has to be
Speaker 1: killed at the end of the next year because that's
Speaker 1: how Santa University works. Anyways, that's the movie we're discussing today.
Speaker 1: Close very classic. We're discussing today is the Santa clause
Speaker 1: uh Tim Allen vehicle. Very successful. Clap it up. If
Speaker 1: you have seen this movie before, okay, and a round
Speaker 1: of applause. For those of you who have not seen
Speaker 1: the movie, Wow, are like listening to the Bechdel cast.
Speaker 1: But I've seen this everyone. We were just talking about
Speaker 1: in the lobby that I think that most people have
Speaker 1: seen this movie, whether they like it or not. Like
Speaker 1: it's a movie that is very hard to avoid. It's true.
Speaker 1: I like everyone has seen it. I mean, I'm it's
Speaker 1: a feminist text. I mean clearly. Well, let's bring out
Speaker 1: our guests to join our conversation about this feminist text.
Speaker 1: She's a Denver legend. She is. She's a very funny comedian.
Speaker 1: She's written for ClickHole. Give it up for Grace Thomas. Hello,
Speaker 1: thanks for being here. Microphone was on the chair and
Speaker 1: not the floor. So Grace, tell us about your history
Speaker 1: relationship with the Santa Claus. Yeah. Well, every time I've
Speaker 1: seen listening to Clause movies for the first time, someone
Speaker 1: has died. Oh well, like later, I thought the first
Speaker 1: one with my as gonna say, what is this Santa University?
Speaker 1: I saw the first one, in the second one with
Speaker 1: my dad, and then he died a year after the
Speaker 1: second one. Coincidence. I think third one with my cousin,
Speaker 1: and she died this past summer. I'm sorry for It's fine.
Speaker 1: I'm joking about. And I think it's in a deep
Speaker 1: state sense. It's certainly all connected. I think it's definitely
Speaker 1: connected in a deep state sense. And I questioned why
Speaker 1: I haven't been compensated. It really does make you think, Okay,
Speaker 1: so you've watched them the movie, you've seen all three.
Speaker 1: I've seen all three. Has anyone else here seen all three?
Speaker 1: This is a powerful mythos. This is more powerful than
Speaker 1: I could have imagined. We have not seen. I think
Speaker 1: I've seen all three at various I couldn't speak to
Speaker 1: all three, but Grace, you can speak to all three.
Speaker 1: I certainly can. I just rewatched the Anti Claus too,
Speaker 1: like two hours ago, by coincidence, I had that scheduled
Speaker 1: months ago, which in Santa Claus Do is the one
Speaker 1: that if he doesn't get married, Christmas is canceled. R yes,
Speaker 1: but it is also the one where a copy of
Speaker 1: Santa Claus, a toy Santa Claus, is made, and then
Speaker 1: he militarizes the North Pole, or so the movie would
Speaker 1: like to suggest. But really the North Pole has already
Speaker 1: been militarized because in the very first scene, Santa Claus,
Speaker 1: like there's an oil plane going over the North Pole
Speaker 1: checking for oil, and they have to like make sure
Speaker 1: that this oil plane doesn't detect the North Pole, because
Speaker 1: I guess their magic doesn't cover that in particular. And
Speaker 1: Santa Claus pops up and he declares Elf Khan one
Speaker 1: Santa Claus, not the toy Santa Clause tim Al in
Speaker 1: real Santa Claus is enough in full military regalia with
Speaker 1: medals and one of those floppy hats. The whole thing.
Speaker 1: They were waiting for this day. They already had, the
Speaker 1: pieces were in place. You know. It's like how people say,
Speaker 1: like Jimmy Carter was anti war, Well he didn't know.
Speaker 1: We've been waiting to talk about this is It's not.
Speaker 1: It's not like he melted down. The takes, you know,
Speaker 1: they were still there. So it's elfkn one, it's alf
Speaker 1: Khan one. It's okay. The oil plane just keeps going.
Speaker 1: And then flash forward a month later there's this we
Speaker 1: see anti He's made all these toy soldiers and he's
Speaker 1: going to attack all the world with coal. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: it's eerily prescient considered considering that the Iraq War was
Speaker 1: declared Mary a few months later. This is like Christmas
Speaker 1: two two is just long enough for it to be
Speaker 1: post nine and be like we have to get into
Speaker 1: production right now exactly. That is alarming. I don't love it.
Speaker 1: In Santa Claus movie, do they have like the alert
Speaker 1: color system? They're Elf Khan four is green and then
Speaker 1: it goes yellow, orange, red, red. I think it's good
Speaker 1: they made this. I mean, I think it made it.
Speaker 1: I mean this movie. I'm pretty sure ended that war,
Speaker 1: didn't it. As a child, I don't think I would
Speaker 1: have been prepared for the War to Rock if I
Speaker 1: hadn't seen the Santa Clas because morn that that war
Speaker 1: was declared. My mom woke me up at like five am.
Speaker 1: It was like, honey, we're at war, and you were like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean war? And then I already knew
Speaker 1: and she's like, well, it's kind of like the Santa
Speaker 1: Claus to exactly like sant Like, oh well, then Santa
Speaker 1: Clas will get married and the conflict will be resolved,
Speaker 1: and sure, okay, and then Santa Clas three is Martin
Speaker 1: short is Jack Frost, and that's all I remember. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Santa Claus three. It's called the Santa Claus through the
Speaker 1: Escape Class and it's a very controversial entry into the
Speaker 1: cave because it's revealed in the Santa Claus three that
Speaker 1: the Alps have just been gaslighting him the whole time. Wait,
Speaker 1: how they've been telling Santa Claus for years that like
Speaker 1: he's he's locked into Santa Claus. You know, like when
Speaker 1: the first movie, they're like, Okay, you signed the contract,
Speaker 1: that's it, You're Santa right. But it turns out in
Speaker 1: the Santa Claus three the escape clause if he if
Speaker 1: Santa Claus holds the snow glow, that m that David crumples.
Speaker 1: If ye Bernard game to Charlie in the first movie,
Speaker 1: if he holds it and says I wish I was
Speaker 1: never Santa clause, time reverses, She's never Santa Claus. So
Speaker 1: you could just undo the whole cannon. Yeah, that simple.
Speaker 1: I would revolt. I would like, how do you say
Speaker 1: that the sex one saw style revolts the whole all.
Speaker 1: I would be like, this was this doesn't make any sense. Okay,
Speaker 1: but is it a good movie? Um? You know I
Speaker 1: went to it with my uncle and I hadn't seen
Speaker 1: him in years, So it did a positive thing. That's
Speaker 1: very good. One of my favorite. So the we were
Speaker 1: talking about this backstage, but the budgets for the Santa
Speaker 1: Claus movies are extremely influx where the first Santa Claus
Speaker 1: movie that we're discussing today is stupidly successful. It has
Speaker 1: a two million dollar budget and it makes almost two
Speaker 1: hundred million dollars, which is why everyone has seen it
Speaker 1: by law. Right, So the second one, they're like, all right,
Speaker 1: people want this. They they triple the budget. It gets
Speaker 1: sixties six million dollars for mostly for the military. I
Speaker 1: would imagine they spend so much time in the North
Speaker 1: Pole that one maybe doesn't do as well, but it's
Speaker 1: still ripples. It's budget, but you know they're they're like, okay.
Speaker 1: And then the third one, the Escape Clause, has an
Speaker 1: eleven million dollar budget, and that's the last entry into
Speaker 1: the cannon. Yeah for now, for now, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 1: Is it really doesn't have much of an extended universe? No,
Speaker 1: very contradictory. So, long story short, you're very into the
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. Yeah, I'm pretty much into any movie I
Speaker 1: saw with my dad before he died, pretty much. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then you and you have the most comprehensive knowledge,
Speaker 1: and I think a power. Yeah, I'm an oracle, yes
Speaker 1: when it comes to the Santa Claus. All right, well,
Speaker 1: we're so glad to have your expertise here. I have
Speaker 1: a giant book that I've written all of this down
Speaker 1: in the language only I can understand is just the
Speaker 1: funniest person that gosh um, yeah, fucking follow that. I
Speaker 1: grew up with this movie as a child. It came
Speaker 1: out when I was eight, and I watched it a
Speaker 1: lot from probably ages like eight to ten, and then
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it since. How about you, Jamie, I've
Speaker 1: seen this movie a lot of times. I think I
Speaker 1: was too little to see it when it came out,
Speaker 1: but I had seen all three of them. I think
Speaker 1: I've only seen the second one maybe five times, and
Speaker 1: the third one just the ones. Um, I've seen this
Speaker 1: one so many times. Can I ask you to one
Speaker 1: quick question? Did you ever see it with someone who
Speaker 1: died later? Or is it just great? It may, in
Speaker 1: fact be, but I think to maybe make you feel
Speaker 1: more comfortable, I would kill my brother seen it with
Speaker 1: anyone who died later? Yes, the curse is real? Your dad,
Speaker 1: that's great, A good connection. We'll talk. I really liked this.
Speaker 1: It was like one of my favorite holiday movies growing up.
Speaker 1: I had a very nasty, nasty crush on Bernard the
Speaker 1: el Hi right, Bernard the You're like white man with
Speaker 1: dreads I shouldn't write, And then yet, like a moth
Speaker 1: to the flame, I do. I keep going back. I
Speaker 1: keep going back to him. I was looking for like
Speaker 1: an oral history in this movie. I'm like, who was
Speaker 1: the one that was like white guy with dreads right, Like,
Speaker 1: it's just nothing about the character demands that I would
Speaker 1: be shocked if it was written into the script. And
Speaker 1: yet there he is, and I was like what I was?
Speaker 1: I was really hot for Bernard and my mom. I
Speaker 1: remember that Grace and I were talking about this earlier
Speaker 1: we saw. I saw the first two where I definitely
Speaker 1: saw the second one in theaters. I remember going because
Speaker 1: it was I think an eight year lapse between the
Speaker 1: first and the second and the first one, Charlie is
Speaker 1: like he's like, you know, seven or eight, He's like
Speaker 1: his cute little kid with a bowl cut. And my
Speaker 1: mom did that horrible thing that mom's occasionally do where
Speaker 1: he was like a teenager. And my mom leaned over
Speaker 1: to me at the movie theater and was like, wow, right,
Speaker 1: I had some young man. He's becoming. Like she was
Speaker 1: just trying to force the narrative, maybe because she was like,
Speaker 1: please stop drinking off to Bernard. She was really pushing
Speaker 1: the Charlie North. But I wouldn't be tricked, and I
Speaker 1: would I would still let Bernard go down. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think Bernard looks very non binary. In my opinion,
Speaker 1: I think he looks very like I think he looks
Speaker 1: like a him lesbian. You know NB icon and nb
Speaker 1: icon for sure. I just I just want to bring
Speaker 1: the home. Yeah, Bernard is who I just want to
Speaker 1: know hashtag who decided the dreads? But I yeah, I
Speaker 1: really like this. Do you think that Bernard just got
Speaker 1: the like David Krumholtz just got the last wig they had? Like,
Speaker 1: this is how it works out a movie side. If
Speaker 1: you come like, you get the last wig. Ok, this
Speaker 1: is what you can like. And the worst part is
Speaker 1: it's cannon because in the sequels he also has the dress.
Speaker 1: They didn't need to be like an eight years later. Wait,
Speaker 1: so if he's in the sequel in this world, the
Speaker 1: elves are children and they don't age, but he would
Speaker 1: have aged like eight. They do age, though, that's the
Speaker 1: thing that's what angers me so much. But well they
Speaker 1: age very slowly. They do. But like Curtis in the
Speaker 1: third movie, I think is played by the same Curtis
Speaker 1: as second Helf, he's a kid, and he's a kid
Speaker 1: in the first one, right, Yeah, and then he's coming back.
Speaker 1: I think it's the same actor in the thing. Wow,
Speaker 1: good for him. But like in the first movie, Judy's
Speaker 1: like I'm years old and then Tim Allen hits on her.
Speaker 1: Yes he First of all, it's one of the grossest scenes.
Speaker 1: It was that scene. You're just like, who is this for?
Speaker 1: Because she's played by a child, and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: like nine, Like Yeah, when I was a little kid
Speaker 1: and I first saw that movie, I remember seeing that
Speaker 1: scene and be like, oh my god, I hope they
Speaker 1: get married. This is the start of a wonderful story.
Speaker 1: And people say media doesn't it is wild that Tim
Speaker 1: full and flirts with a child. Yeah. And in my
Speaker 1: memory when I hadn't seen it for a while, I
Speaker 1: thought she was an adult. I thought she was like
Speaker 1: the one adult. Let me see it again. And she's
Speaker 1: the youngest of them all. Yea more of a child.
Speaker 1: It's it's pretty alarming. Well, should I do the recap? Yes,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be I mean, there's so much feminist
Speaker 1: lord to discuss in this movie that Hi everyone, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm about to do the recap. But before I do,
Speaker 1: I just had to sneak backstage in the middle of
Speaker 1: the show. Because I'm just so excited to tell you
Speaker 1: about Casper. I hope Jamie doesn't mind that I just
Speaker 1: left her out there, but I again simply have to
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Speaker 1: Casper mattress, he would not have woken up when there
Speaker 1: arose such a clatter with Santa clamoring around on his roof.
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Speaker 1: using promo code TBC at checkout. Okay, now, I got
Speaker 1: to get back to the show. So here I come.
Speaker 1: All right, So here we go. It's Christmas time. That's
Speaker 1: what I wrote. Good starting, good Start than we meet
Speaker 1: Scott Calvin. Two first names suspicious right, we don't never
Speaker 1: trus a mama. Two first names Jack Ryan. Also Tim
Speaker 1: Allen has. Tim Allen has two first names right, and
Speaker 1: he sucks his hell. What does that show you? He
Speaker 1: works at a toy company in the sales department. I think, um,
Speaker 1: he is divorced. He and his ex wife X Laura Laura.
Speaker 1: I was writing her name is Linda in all of
Speaker 1: my notes because I feel like that's such a common
Speaker 1: his wife name that I just phoned it in and
Speaker 1: I was like, honestly, I was pretty close Laura. And
Speaker 1: then they just break and they looked a camera like
Speaker 1: you get the idea. We're not going to tell you
Speaker 1: what her job is. So they have a son together, Charlie,
Speaker 1: who spends Christmas Eve with Scott because his mom and
Speaker 1: new husband Neil Neil Judge Reinhold, they're having dinner or
Speaker 1: something and Charlie is not invited in some of the
Speaker 1: most I think of my childhood, some of the most
Speaker 1: effective in movie marketing of all time, when they go
Speaker 1: to Denny's, because there were no Denny's near where I
Speaker 1: grew up, and I was asking my parents for years,
Speaker 1: what is Denny's? Can we go? And and then it
Speaker 1: was like a big deal when we finally got to
Speaker 1: go to a Denny's. And it's so horrible. It's the
Speaker 1: sight many are you kidding Perkins? Okay, No, Denny's. Denny's
Speaker 1: can Perkins ass any day? Have you ever been to
Speaker 1: a Perkins? Wait? When I knew okay, the moment where
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what I'm doing okay in life
Speaker 1: is when I would go to Denny's and be like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to get off you know, the off the
Speaker 1: two F six eight. I'm like, I'm gonna go, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go off the six menu. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: a millionaire. What I think the audience should know is
Speaker 1: that Jamie, you and I go to Denny's together a lot.
Speaker 1: And it was no but I was so oh, like,
Speaker 1: I was so excited to go to Denny's. And then
Speaker 1: I on the rewatch, I was like, oh, they really
Speaker 1: were going for broke on this Denny's endorsement. Tim Allen
Speaker 1: leans into the corn. He's like, it's an American institution, Denny's.
Speaker 1: And then they have a horrible time back on that
Speaker 1: first because not only does the Denny's hardly have anything
Speaker 1: like that's true, Charlie goes in there. They want to igno,
Speaker 1: but it's so busy and Charlie doesn't enjoy his time
Speaker 1: at all. So, if the big wigs at Disney were
Speaker 1: trying to promote Denny's with this felt they did a
Speaker 1: horse ship job worked for you. I was like, I
Speaker 1: asked to go for fourteen years after. I think it
Speaker 1: worked for me because I really wanted to go to
Speaker 1: Denny's for a long time too, and my mom would
Speaker 1: refuse because again Perkins was an option. But they go
Speaker 1: to They go to Denny's in it's It's great, yeah,
Speaker 1: and we love Denny's. Here on the Betel Cast, someone's
Speaker 1: gonna tweeted us to be like Denny's is problematic, and like, no,
Speaker 1: you know, we know everything's the word and he's just canceled.
Speaker 1: I take it back. Okay, So Scott is not the
Speaker 1: most invested parent. He like puts in a little effort.
Speaker 1: He burns the turkey. They go to the Denny's iconic
Speaker 1: when he burns the turkey. Yes, I feel like there's
Speaker 1: a in a mythical way, yere again again. I would
Speaker 1: watch a ten hour loop of extinguishing. I take it
Speaker 1: almost suggests that maybe there was some force was setting
Speaker 1: him up. Do you think that Santa Claus targeted Scott Calvin.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm over this job. I think that any
Speaker 1: person with the initials see they're like they're unnoticed. Sarah Connor,
Speaker 1: Sarah Connor, think about it, Santa claus coincidence. I think
Speaker 1: two things. Really what There's a shot when Santa's on
Speaker 1: the ground after he's followed and at Scott and Charlie
Speaker 1: are trying to figure out what to do, and there's
Speaker 1: just one shot which doesn't look like any of the
Speaker 1: other shots in the film. It's like this weird. I
Speaker 1: went to film school. I say briefly that I did.
Speaker 1: I didn't graduate, but so if you didn't, then that
Speaker 1: must mean you didn't go twice to film school. Like
Speaker 1: I don't like to bring it up, but I did
Speaker 1: get a master's degree in screenwriting from Boston University. I
Speaker 1: hate to mention it. Caitlin's addicted to flaunting her debt.
Speaker 1: I think that's beautiful. I'm twenty thous dollars in debt
Speaker 1: with nothing. Wow, I've got some good stories. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: student observation. This is student observation. So there's this shot,
Speaker 1: Santa's on the ground. It's medium medium shot. Okay, I'm familiar. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's weird about it. But I don't know what it is,
Speaker 1: but it looks weird. Okay, that's that's a medium shot
Speaker 1: is the term I was prepping everyone for telling them
Speaker 1: I went to build school. But but what happens in
Speaker 1: it in the missinman is Santa like raises his hand
Speaker 1: for a moment and goes, oh, yeah, very that was
Speaker 1: I wrote that down. I'm like, was that the last
Speaker 1: thing he did before he died? And so I think
Speaker 1: it suggests that he'd show was like. I think it
Speaker 1: suggests that he it was his choice. And and Caitlin
Speaker 1: brought up something excellent on the drive here, which is
Speaker 1: that we learned in the Santa Claus too, although I
Speaker 1: guess we learned in the Santa Claus three but none
Speaker 1: of it matters. But in the Santa Claus too, and
Speaker 1: addgital clause is presented that unless you have a his wife,
Speaker 1: Christmas is canceled, which means that the Santa who falls
Speaker 1: off the roof and dies in the beginning of this
Speaker 1: movie would have probably had a his wife. And where
Speaker 1: did she did? She? Is her life force tied by
Speaker 1: Santa and then she also died in that very moment,
Speaker 1: Sarah or think about it? I like, I think her
Speaker 1: name is Sandra Claus and she either died in that
Speaker 1: moment or she just gets like austed. They're like, um,
Speaker 1: your husband's dead, You're not welcome here anymore, and they
Speaker 1: like ban her from the North Pole. We don't know
Speaker 1: though where there should be an extended universe and we
Speaker 1: should get a spin off a Sandra Clause. Brady is available, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sasha Baron comins, but I'm just looking up a list
Speaker 1: of is that Stephen Colbert, think about it? Simon Cowell?
Speaker 1: Who else do we go? If you're if your initials
Speaker 1: in the audience? Thank you? Does anyone here have initials?
Speaker 1: A C? One person? Okay, Santa show yourself. I can't
Speaker 1: believe Santa came to the show. Thank you for coming
Speaker 1: so exciting. Um, that's all Steve Coogan, alright, And finally
Speaker 1: Cheryl Crow sure think about it. Santa Clause. She goes
Speaker 1: to bed with her MONOGRAMD pajamas and then her kid
Speaker 1: comes up to her like, wait a second, sorry, what's
Speaker 1: happening in the movie. I don't even know. Um, clearly
Speaker 1: there's not much for us to talk about, which is
Speaker 1: why we're stretching. It's feminist Tim Allen pushing someone off
Speaker 1: a rufus feminist. He doesn't know. I'm still trying to
Speaker 1: process something you said earlier. I have to say you were.
Speaker 1: You two were making fun of people with two first names,
Speaker 1: and I would just like to quickly remind you that
Speaker 1: my name is Great Thomas, and I'm not I went
Speaker 1: to film school and i'd have had some respect. You
Speaker 1: and Jack Ryan have my eternal respect. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Queen's Jack on the show with Jim from the Office. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this time he got a gun. All right, So
Speaker 1: back to the Santa clause we were in in it too,
Speaker 1: where he's truly okay. So they go to Denny's. They
Speaker 1: talk about whether or not Santa Claus is real, and
Speaker 1: Scott wants Charlie to believe that Santa is real, even
Speaker 1: though he is an adult does not believe in Santa.
Speaker 1: Now it's the middle of the night on Christmas Eve
Speaker 1: and there arose such a clatter on Tim Allen's roof
Speaker 1: and he plays. Charlie is like, he's really good in
Speaker 1: the movies, Like it's a clatter he's and then he
Speaker 1: grows up and my mom is like, whoa, but in
Speaker 1: this one he's cute. Yeah, So Scott goes outside to
Speaker 1: check on the clatter and Santa is on his roof.
Speaker 1: He accidentally startles Santa Claus and he slips off and
Speaker 1: falls off the roof and dies or progress does it
Speaker 1: on purpose, it was playing. It's like such a hot take.
Speaker 1: It's like how in the Dark Night Batman is trying
Speaker 1: to get like Harvey Dent to like be the new
Speaker 1: like crusader against crime, so that he doesn't have to
Speaker 1: do it anymore. And I think that's the same thing
Speaker 1: that's happening. It's probably a similar amount of people tie
Speaker 1: throughout the course of the film. So Scott reaches into
Speaker 1: Santa's suit and finds a business card that says, if
Speaker 1: something should happen to me, put on my suit, the
Speaker 1: reindeer will know what to do. So then he and
Speaker 1: Charlie see the reindeer on the roof. They notice Santa's
Speaker 1: body has now vanished totally fine, totally normal, and his
Speaker 1: suit is still there though so and then a ladder appears,
Speaker 1: suddenly arose such a clatter company still funny, still funny,
Speaker 1: And they climb up onto the roof. The sleigh is
Speaker 1: up there. They both get in it, and Scott's like
Speaker 1: this is stupid, but Charlie's like, we that classic father
Speaker 1: Son dynamics, and then the reindeer take off with Scott
Speaker 1: and Charlie in the sleigh. They go to the next
Speaker 1: house that was apparently on just the Santa agenda, and
Speaker 1: Scott reluctantly puts on the Santa suit and the like
Speaker 1: magical bag of toys takes him down the chimney, which
Speaker 1: in some of the most cursed special effects you'll see. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just like, let's render Tim Allen barely. It's so scary,
Speaker 1: it's very alarming. I also did not notice until this
Speaker 1: rewatch that the reindeer are like puppets. I thought as
Speaker 1: a kid they were full on, real amazing reindeer actors there.
Speaker 1: And then there's it's fart jokes for the reindeers close
Speaker 1: up of hens and workshop making fart noises, and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what this. That technology was a metaphor. So he
Speaker 1: goes into the next house. He puts toys under the tree.
Speaker 1: This is the one where like the little girl is
Speaker 1: there and he's like, funk off, little girl, yeah, fuck
Speaker 1: you yeah, and she doesn't notice that her house suddenly
Speaker 1: has a fireplace. Then it goes away that is the
Speaker 1: second house, the second second Okay, I'm sorry you asked.
Speaker 1: I didn't want everyone to get burned online, which happens
Speaker 1: to us all the time. The first one has a
Speaker 1: fireplace like usual, and the second one even though it
Speaker 1: is an identical house there side by side, and they're
Speaker 1: identical houses, but this other one doesn't have it, just
Speaker 1: has a little pipe. Yeah, thank you for Santa. Santa
Speaker 1: makes it work because I think the film very artfully
Speaker 1: takes takes you into its mythology, step by step over
Speaker 1: the big levitate him, and then you see the transmogrification,
Speaker 1: not all at once. It's world building at its best.
Speaker 1: I mean, folks, these are the writers of Space Jam.
Speaker 1: They know what they're doing. Oh yeah, they know what
Speaker 1: they're doing. They're skilled artisans. So Tim Allen what's his name,
Speaker 1: Scott Scott and uh he and his son do this
Speaker 1: over and over again, with house after house all night,
Speaker 1: and then they finally are taken to the North Pole
Speaker 1: where Santa's workshop is, and there are lots of elves,
Speaker 1: their children, but they're a million yes. And then this
Speaker 1: is when we meet Bernard. Did you did anyone else here? Also?
Speaker 1: Think Tim Allen was hot? Because some people just say,
Speaker 1: right here, I do in this movie as Santa Claus
Speaker 1: to Santa Claus, Ship's sale that. Yeah, and you know,
Speaker 1: I think that I kind of idolize him a little,
Speaker 1: like not to Mellen as a person. But it's got Kelvin,
Speaker 1: you know, the character. We've been we've been pretty critical
Speaker 1: and the film is pretty critical of his parenting. Pretty
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. But at least he's not a raging I
Speaker 1: call it, you know, that's true, which is pretty good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe a low ball. I think it's
Speaker 1: a perfectly adequate yardstick. Yeah, you know, and this is
Speaker 1: not to be you know, like I'm in recovery. It's
Speaker 1: like cool if you're an I mean, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that you're a bad person if you're an alcoholic. However,
Speaker 1: personal experience pretty hard to be a bad parent. If
Speaker 1: you're a raging alcoholic, that's a tough one to pull off,
Speaker 1: you know. Also, Charlie gets two houses. I had a
Speaker 1: two bedroom apartment and a one bedroom apartment up this
Speaker 1: is I mean, this is like yet another because we
Speaker 1: we recently recorded an episode on Home Alone. Uh and
Speaker 1: it's yet another like upscale like white family living in Illinois,
Speaker 1: specifically in November and December. Like there's such a specific vibe.
Speaker 1: Why are they always in Illinois? It was filmed Toronto.
Speaker 1: Are people afraid of people thinking they're Canadian? Everything was
Speaker 1: filmed in Vancouver and Toronto and they're like, no, it's Chicago.
Speaker 1: You're like it isn't. That's okay, let's accept it. People
Speaker 1: are evading taxes, right, yeah, Charlie, what is something? Well, Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess we'll talk about it more in depth. But
Speaker 1: I did like about this movie is like one of
Speaker 1: It was definitely one of the first movies I saw
Speaker 1: that like treated a divorced family as something that was
Speaker 1: like normal and there wasn't a villain the story. It
Speaker 1: was just like clear that these two people didn't belong together.
Speaker 1: And then the mother got remarried and it was like difficult,
Speaker 1: but it was okay and uh and like everyone loved
Speaker 1: the child and like, I don't know, I thought that
Speaker 1: was that didn't even like register with me. It's like,
Speaker 1: oh that is cool. Yeah yeah, And like Charlie is
Speaker 1: not like messed up from having divorced parents. No, now
Speaker 1: he has a free therapist even you know, I remembered
Speaker 1: them being harsher on Neil than they actually were, to
Speaker 1: tell you the truth, they are surprisingly light on Napal.
Speaker 1: There's like a couple of like things at times in
Speaker 1: the film where he's like a little bit of feminate
Speaker 1: and that's the joke. But beyond that, and you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, that's bad Chrissy all the time. For
Speaker 1: the most part, it's five. Yeah. I mainly remember the
Speaker 1: sweater burn sweaterburn very very clearly, and I think I
Speaker 1: just was like, oh, that must have happened a lot.
Speaker 1: It just happens the once. And Neil is not a
Speaker 1: villain in this story, Like he's misguided, but he loves Charlie.
Speaker 1: He wants the best, and he doesn't he doesn't hate.
Speaker 1: He's willing to work with Scott. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: generally frustrated with Scott's behavior. And wait, Scott is saying
Speaker 1: he is Santa Claus, and that is a tough pill
Speaker 1: to swallow. But if Neil had just used his doctorate
Speaker 1: and thought for a second that sc this guy is
Speaker 1: a doctor and he can't figure out that Scott's Calvin
Speaker 1: equals Santa Claus, unbelievable. Also Scott Calvin hates mental health
Speaker 1: because he keeps being like, Neil isn't a doctor, He's
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist, but it's always like the most resistance against
Speaker 1: mental health before you fully embrace, like you know what,
Speaker 1: it's time. The film also seems very confused about what
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist is because I've been to many psychiatrists. I've
Speaker 1: never had a psychiatrist spent more than ten minutes talking
Speaker 1: to me about like my feelings and like theory around psychology.
Speaker 1: They're always just like I think that they I will
Speaker 1: continue to give you well you dread, and I love
Speaker 1: that for them because I need it right. But there, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that they thought that like a psychiatrist and
Speaker 1: a therapists are the same thing. And then also a
Speaker 1: therapist could gaslight a child and that's fine because there's
Speaker 1: like that scene with Neil and Charlie. Were Neils like,
Speaker 1: so you think your dad is Santa? And then like
Speaker 1: slowly begins to ask these leading questions that lead up
Speaker 1: to like, so what the fuck is your problem? Just
Speaker 1: like Neil, you're doing a bad job. You're doing your
Speaker 1: bad job. But before we it there, we're now in
Speaker 1: minute about twenty of the movie. So they're now in
Speaker 1: Santa's workshop and Bernard, who I guess is like the
Speaker 1: head elf. He's like he he tells Scott about the
Speaker 1: Santa Claus with an E. And this is the point
Speaker 1: of the movie where you realize they came up with
Speaker 1: the title first and then they reverse engineered a story
Speaker 1: around it. That's when a bunch of like parents in
Speaker 1: the audience I think they're smart, go oh, they figured
Speaker 1: it out. But the Santa Claus states made me want
Speaker 1: to be a lawyer. I'm a lawyer because of the
Speaker 1: s didn't achieve that dream, but you did go to
Speaker 1: art school a little bit. So the Santa Claus clause
Speaker 1: states that if something happens to Santa Claus and he
Speaker 1: dies after he's fallen off your roof, and you put
Speaker 1: on his suit, you become the new Santa. I think
Speaker 1: this is one of the most inventive pieces of I
Speaker 1: p ever created. Who what SICKO? If you kill Santa,
Speaker 1: then you're Santa. That's like a horror movie. It's almost
Speaker 1: like this has to be a Crimson fairy tale, right it?
Speaker 1: And it gets scarier as it goes on because in
Speaker 1: the second movie it's and now you mus procure a woman.
Speaker 1: It gets like scarier away to the west of the
Speaker 1: North don't live with you for all your days? Wait
Speaker 1: with her dreams? Who does he end up marrying? In
Speaker 1: the second one? Does he rob a woman of her career? Yeah? What? What?
Speaker 1: Who does he the principal of Charley's High school? And
Speaker 1: then later she becomes a teacher in the North Pole.
Speaker 1: Oh second, a second after in the North Pole. You know,
Speaker 1: maybe she think I'm the superintendent of the North Pole.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't be stopping her career of up. Also in the
Speaker 1: third movie, we find out that yes, all elves look
Speaker 1: like children, but there are also new elves being made
Speaker 1: that are also look like children made born. Maybe I
Speaker 1: was like construct somehow I know. It seems from the
Speaker 1: second scene to Plase movie, it seems that it seems
Speaker 1: at the North Pole doesn't have the ability to clone,
Speaker 1: right because he clone and would have had to make
Speaker 1: a toy Santa, they could have just made a cloone.
Speaker 1: Santa suggests that yes, these child alves, these actually young elves,
Speaker 1: that they were born, they were born and from where
Speaker 1: this is why we need a fourth movie, been saying
Speaker 1: it for fourteen years. How are the elves Born. How
Speaker 1: does it were? I don't know what's happening, all right.
Speaker 1: So Scott he he doesn't want to be the new Santa,
Speaker 1: and but it seems like he has no choice because
Speaker 1: of this binding contract. And Bernard tells him that he
Speaker 1: needs to report back to the North Pole next Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: and until then he can just kind of live his
Speaker 1: normal life. Yeah, Bernard will hold it down. He's like,
Speaker 1: don't worry January through October. I'm daddy, thank you. The
Speaker 1: more we talk about it, I think less invested I'm
Speaker 1: getting in these films. The thing is a huge plot
Speaker 1: point of the second film is they make the Toy
Speaker 1: Santa because Santa doesn't trust Bernard to hold down the
Speaker 1: fort for literally twenty eight days, because that's how much
Speaker 1: time he has to find a wife. It's just twenty
Speaker 1: eight days. That's like the same plot as the Princess Diaries.
Speaker 1: To also pretty much it is it's like, if you
Speaker 1: don't get married this month, the country split. Let's get back. Sorry,
Speaker 1: it's quite all right, So what's let's see what's happening
Speaker 1: in the Santa Claus. The Scott wakes up in his
Speaker 1: bed and he thinks the whole thing was a dream,
Speaker 1: but Charlie insists that it was real, and his mom
Speaker 1: and stepdad and teachers and everyone in school concerned. He
Speaker 1: has the pajamas, so he knows, somewhere deep down you've
Speaker 1: done that it was real, right, But he's in denial
Speaker 1: about it. He thinks he just had a weird dream
Speaker 1: about flirting with a kid. Little does he know that's
Speaker 1: the only night of his we see it's there, like
Speaker 1: maybe this is a thing. That's so everyone's concerned for Charlie.
Speaker 1: And then some changes start happening. I would call this
Speaker 1: the midpoint of the movie with my master's degree. Like
Speaker 1: Scott start scanning weight, his hair starts to turn white.
Speaker 1: He grows a beard that like even right after he
Speaker 1: shaves it, it grows back. Uh, And he's looking more
Speaker 1: and more like Santa Claus, which freaks out Laura and
Speaker 1: Neil because they think that he's doing it on purpose
Speaker 1: to convince Charlie that he's Santa Claus, which would be alarming.
Speaker 1: Put yourself in their shoes, yes, well, but their sweater
Speaker 1: if you will. This I mean, this sequence is I
Speaker 1: think one of the most iconic sequences in film is
Speaker 1: I think, like so many films have tried to copy it,
Speaker 1: for instance, Evan Almighty and others. My favorite movies Almighty.
Speaker 1: And so the parents are concerned earned and they petitioned
Speaker 1: to get soul custody if Charlie and take away Scott's
Speaker 1: visitation rights. Um. But then Scott shows up to Laura
Speaker 1: and Neil's house anyway, I think on Thanksgiving after he
Speaker 1: has visitation rights revoked, because you know, men be showing
Speaker 1: up places, men be showing up wistfully at the pane
Speaker 1: of glass. At least he's not making threats. And again,
Speaker 1: at least he's not a raging alcohol I mean, everyone,
Speaker 1: please Scott Calvin's graces hero, So let's be gentle. And
Speaker 1: Scott really doesn't know what to think anymore. He's like,
Speaker 1: I look exactly like Santa Claus, But am I Santa Claus?
Speaker 1: And then Charlie's like, you are, and if you don't
Speaker 1: be Santa Claus, you're gonna let all those kids down
Speaker 1: there counting on you. And then he's like, okay, I
Speaker 1: am Santa Claus. And then Bernard shows up and it's
Speaker 1: like time to get to work, honey, and then they
Speaker 1: all leave, men be snow Globe comes back, which is
Speaker 1: a concert you in all three films, and the same
Speaker 1: plot happens, where like near the end of the film,
Speaker 1: the snow globe shows up and it shows someone that
Speaker 1: Santa Claus exists. Like in the second film, it shows
Speaker 1: his prospective wife that's like she She's like, you're not Santa.
Speaker 1: You're just making fun of me because I told you
Speaker 1: I used to believe in Santa. That's so upsetting, weird
Speaker 1: way to make fun of someone, and very reflective of
Speaker 1: how she feels about him. But then Charlie in the
Speaker 1: second film shows her the snow globe and as soon
Speaker 1: as she sees the snow globe she's like, it must
Speaker 1: be magic. He is Santa. Oh yeah, I one of
Speaker 1: my favorite moments. And then the third one, the snow
Speaker 1: globe is used to go back in time to undo Santa,
Speaker 1: but also it's used at the end of the film
Speaker 1: to redo Santa. So is there time travel in Santa
Speaker 1: Claus Three? Yes, there's extensive time travel and it changes
Speaker 1: the whole world. But Jack Ross converts the North Pole
Speaker 1: into a theme park. Unbelievable. I can watch it. I
Speaker 1: have Disney plus now brags. Yes, yes, we love to
Speaker 1: give them our money. I also have it. So Bernard
Speaker 1: shows up and then he's Scott and Charlie. I'll leave
Speaker 1: for the North Pole. Uh. And now Laura and Neil
Speaker 1: think that Charlie has been kidnapped. Because he's been kidnapped
Speaker 1: is why they feel that. And I didn't realize this
Speaker 1: as a child. But Charlie is gone for a whole month,
Speaker 1: from the time from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Eve never seen
Speaker 1: the film. Dear Zachary. Yes, God, wait, why would you
Speaker 1: bring that up? Oh my god, because I just want
Speaker 1: to say another good thing about Scott Calvin. Dear Zachary.
Speaker 1: Spoiler Like it's a documentary. It's the saddest documentary I've
Speaker 1: ever seen in my life. Oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: baby and the same is Zachary and his dad probably
Speaker 1: got murdered by his mom. And then the mom kidnaps Zachary, right, yes,
Speaker 1: she sure does. It's so sad. She kidnaps Zachary, then
Speaker 1: kills Zachary and then kills herself, right yes. And a
Speaker 1: lot of times when a parent that doesn't have custody
Speaker 1: kidnaps a kid, then they die in some way. But
Speaker 1: Grace is repeatedly citing history's greatest monsters to demonstrate this. Calvin,
Speaker 1: isn't this after It's not a bad day. I'm having
Speaker 1: a panic attack. You're not wrong, a wrong. It's true,
Speaker 1: he's not a raging alcoholic son. He didn Santa clause,
Speaker 1: but he didn't. Again, I contend he did not. It
Speaker 1: was in the cards. So he have duck, but he
Speaker 1: have ducts Charlie for a whole month. There's an extensive
Speaker 1: police investigation. I feel like the movie intentionally doesn't call
Speaker 1: to attention how long he's gone. I've seen this movie
Speaker 1: a million times until Caitlin told me earlier today that
Speaker 1: it was a month that I realized. Yeah, you were like,
Speaker 1: it's a night, right, Yeah, because I barely rudely insisted
Speaker 1: it was a night, very rudely, and I'm sorry. And
Speaker 1: then Caitlin presented her evidence that it was clear that
Speaker 1: I was wrong. Well, because he's objected right around Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: on Thanksgiving and then has returned on Christmas Eve. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's scary, it's right. Oh and then like at the
Speaker 1: end there's a very different what movie we're comparing it
Speaker 1: to where you can see in the shot right before
Speaker 1: Scott comes back, and it's like just kidding, I'm actually Santa,
Speaker 1: which is a great twist. Uh. But like Laura and
Speaker 1: Neil are sitting at the kitchen table, she's clearly at
Speaker 1: the end of her rope. I'm like, they're about to
Speaker 1: divorce each other. This is the worst thing that they lost,
Speaker 1: They've lost their t and then it turns out the
Speaker 1: spirit of Christmas brings them back together and they're not mad.
Speaker 1: They're not mad at They're not mad. They're like, Charlie,
Speaker 1: welcome back. I want to know an interesting thing, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure so so in the Santa it's interesting that
Speaker 1: you brought that up because in the Santa Claus, through
Speaker 1: the escape clause, when it's kind of like this is
Speaker 1: the most specific um actually never being I'm not even
Speaker 1: I'm not like, I'm not I'm not what I'm saying here.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying here is that in the in the
Speaker 1: in the in the timeline where Scott Calvin never becomes
Speaker 1: Santa Claus and Jack Frost becomes Santa Claus. So in
Speaker 1: the timeline when Scott Calvin has never Santa Claus, Neil
Speaker 1: and Linda Laura but spiritually Linda, Neil and Laura's spiritually
Speaker 1: Linda divorce. So in a world where Scott Calvin never
Speaker 1: became Santa Claus, they do get divorced. No, yeah, I
Speaker 1: honestly think that Laura is better off without either of them.
Speaker 1: I like, but um, I guess I'm not as upset
Speaker 1: as I lead on. I think Laura should tell us
Speaker 1: what her job is and that we should be able
Speaker 1: to learn some facts about her, and that her, like
Speaker 1: her child stepdad, shouldn't be the one that is pushing
Speaker 1: for like custody decisions. Right that I was like annoyed
Speaker 1: at Neil or Neil's like, it's the I am a doctor,
Speaker 1: and this is the way it has to be. And
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not. He's not your son. You
Speaker 1: don't get to your call. Yeah, and then Laura was
Speaker 1: like I didn't get a board game, and and then
Speaker 1: and then they're like about her as far as we know,
Speaker 1: that's that and having her son abducted are her top
Speaker 1: two problems. Another thing about Scott yea so in the
Speaker 1: second film and don't call it a movie in front
Speaker 1: of Grace, she'll get very upset called a saga. If
Speaker 1: there's a meeting of the council of like a mythological
Speaker 1: being which I remember this and Father Time notes that
Speaker 1: since Scott became Santa, kids are seventy percent happier. He's
Speaker 1: one of the best Santas of all time. So explanation
Speaker 1: why Laura didn't get that game is that the Santa
Speaker 1: before Scott was real bad at his job. That was like,
Speaker 1: that was like Carter era Santa. That was car Liker. Sure,
Speaker 1: I just don't think he's a hero, and I think
Speaker 1: that his choice in Santa's really reflected that. Yeah, they agree.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you if you all know this,
Speaker 1: but we're privy to some very explositive information. The president
Speaker 1: chooses Santa. Yeah, and a different clause that's a that's
Speaker 1: just a different if you shake this snogo up at
Speaker 1: doesn't count, but technically that is the law. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's why Scott Calvin is kind of a bipartisan here really,
Speaker 1: because he's sued for administrations, including that real Loopie one
Speaker 1: going on right now. Yeah, well, we haven't seen Scott
Speaker 1: Calvin since Okay, I'll push back on that. We haven't
Speaker 1: seen Calvin since the Bush administration. Listen, Jamie, you've gotta
Speaker 1: believe in something. I think that all. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: guess he came to prominence during the Clinton administration. He
Speaker 1: lasted through the Bush administration, and really, you know, I
Speaker 1: think now we really need them now more than ever.
Speaker 1: I agree. See he's able to work within the system.
Speaker 1: You know, there's something to be said for that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's changing things from the No, he's not. The thing
Speaker 1: is Tim Allen voted for Trump, and that's something we
Speaker 1: really need to. I know everyone's hissing through their teeth,
Speaker 1: but it's like we have to. We have toss it
Speaker 1: every We can't talk about buzz Lightyear without being like,
Speaker 1: well it is you know what. I bet Scott Calvin
Speaker 1: also would have voted for Trump had he not well,
Speaker 1: he was rich, he was very Christian market, he's at
Speaker 1: the very least fiscally. Do you think Scott, wait, let's
Speaker 1: clear this up. Let's clear this up. Do you think
Speaker 1: Scott Calvin would have voted for Trump if he had?
Speaker 1: I agree with you. If he hadn't become Santa he
Speaker 1: would have voted for Trump. But I think Santa Claus
Speaker 1: like he became, he's like Medicare for all. He's probably
Speaker 1: like he's probably like, yeah, well, I don't know I
Speaker 1: would give him that much credit. We the show has
Speaker 1: been going on for an hour and we were not
Speaker 1: even done with the recaps. So how well it Well,
Speaker 1: we're we're at the end. But yes, we're at the
Speaker 1: end where they prepped for Christmas Eve. It Scott a
Speaker 1: k fully fledged Santa now, and he's accepted it. He's
Speaker 1: accepted it, he's embraced it. He and Charlie are out
Speaker 1: delivering presents to the kids and then they stop at
Speaker 1: Laura and Neil's house, but the police catch him and
Speaker 1: arrest him, which I totally forgot that happened, to say,
Speaker 1: I totally forgot that. And I also forgot how the
Speaker 1: North Pole like dispatches the squad of like swat elves,
Speaker 1: okay elves with attitude, and I think that's kind of
Speaker 1: a desert stormy thing. Yeah, sure s track I love
Speaker 1: and they're like, we're your worst nightmare elvesd editing. I
Speaker 1: know I said that to him. It's like, whose kid
Speaker 1: was that? Why did that kid get to be? I
Speaker 1: feel like that they had and no disrespect. I mean,
Speaker 1: if you were one of the Alps with attitudes slide
Speaker 1: into our mentions, please the show there. But but that
Speaker 1: to me had the energy of like a crew member's kid.
Speaker 1: You know, every one of those kids has a degree
Speaker 1: from U c. L A. Now, well, these elves with
Speaker 1: attitude break stand out of jail, and then they go
Speaker 1: back to Laura and Neil's house. And even though he's
Speaker 1: kidnapped Charlie for a month, like we said, Laura Neil
Speaker 1: are just like whatever. But from this perspective, they still
Speaker 1: think that Scott is like delusional And then suddenly apropos
Speaker 1: of absolutely nothing. One of the best line reads in
Speaker 1: cinema history, because it's Laura and she says, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you really are Santa clause you know, that line wasn't
Speaker 1: even originally in the movie. The actors who was the
Speaker 1: actress that played Laura, she was I'll get her name,
Speaker 1: but continue. So she was just on set and saw
Speaker 1: Tim Allen dressed up at Santa emotion just overcame her
Speaker 1: and they happened to be rolling, and that's what she said,
Speaker 1: you know, in person, oh you really are Santa. And
Speaker 1: they were like, we gotta use we got. Her name
Speaker 1: is Wendy Krusen and she is in all three of
Speaker 1: the movies her Well we don't need to go well, yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, there's no like catalyst in the story that
Speaker 1: gets her to be like, oh, wow, you are Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: I guess it's magic. It's it's magic, magic and belief.
Speaker 1: Caitlin so sorry, And then Neil Neil apologizes to Charlie,
Speaker 1: which I liked. He's like, I'm sorry, I didn't believe
Speaker 1: that Scott Colvin is Santa Claus. I see now the initials.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. But then he immediately bag pedals on
Speaker 1: what he just said and he was just like, oh no,
Speaker 1: he's like making us by into this huge delusion. But
Speaker 1: then like a few moments later, Scott Calvin, who is
Speaker 1: a good Santa Claus whistle and the mystery date game
Speaker 1: and a soccer whistle to Charlie, which I guess he wanted.
Speaker 1: I guess he asked. Right before that happens, the best
Speaker 1: moment happens, which is Laura takes the custody papers and
Speaker 1: then she throws the custody papers into the fireplace and
Speaker 1: she's like, there you go. You've got your custody back.
Speaker 1: And it's like, legally, he doesn't, don't. It's it's mystifying
Speaker 1: that they were able to navigate the courts well enough
Speaker 1: to take his custody away, but they didn't know that, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't get to that decision right the law. But
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess it's all kind of mood because
Speaker 1: then he just flees to the North Pole permanently. So
Speaker 1: and that's the movie. That's a movie. That's that was
Speaker 1: the lying around and then everyone's like, wow, it really
Speaker 1: is Santa we it's really it's all real that the
Speaker 1: Santa Clause. Al Right, everyone, that's the end of part one.
Speaker 1: Don't forget to grab your tickets for our upcoming live
Speaker 1: shows in San Francisco and New York and Philly, and
Speaker 1: then also follow us on social media pectol cast our,
Speaker 1: Patreon and patreon, dot com, slash pactol cast, grab our,
Speaker 1: merch all that good stuff, and stay tuned for part
Speaker 1: two of The Santa Clause by