WEBVTT - #173 This might be a bigger problem than we think 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.480 Sometimes we think when the wind blows outside that it's 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:07.560 a bad thing. Oh man, it's windy today. Hey, I 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:11.280 like it when it's a windy day, stirring things. It's 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:13.360 knocking those dead branches way at the top of the tree, 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:17.360 it's knocking that stuff out. It's cleaning things up a 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:20.400 little bit. While that dust on the sidewalk, it's blowing 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:23.759 it off. It's cleaning it up a little bit. It's 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:26.040 good to have a stirring in your life. I think 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:29.160 you're going through a stirring season, and I would lean 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:43.879 into it and not run away from it. What's up, everybody? 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.640 Welcome back to the podcast, episode one seventy three. Thanks 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:51.320 for watching and listening wherever you're coming from, whatever platform, 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.600 wherever in the world you are. I'm just glad you're here. 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:58.520 I'm glad to do this. I answer your questions. You 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:01.920 email me You're Smith podcast at gmail dot com, and 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:04.839 I can answer it the best I can. No notes 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:06.520 in front of me. I'm not prepared, I don't have 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:10.040 a book ready, I don't have some kind of system 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:13.399 that I'm working with here. I'm just talking like we're 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:15.120 just two friends and you just say, hey, can I 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:17.160 run something by you, And I'm not always right when 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:19.039 I give you an answer, but I'm going to give 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.479 it to you the best I know how as if 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:23.840 we're in the cab of a truck and you got 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:26.760 a question, and I would assume that you would deliver 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:29.440 the same kind of answer back to me if I 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:32.520 had a question for you. Okay, let's get to the 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:35.920 first email. There is no order, there is no system. 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:38.760 I'm running with here. Subject line of this first one 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:44.959 says girlfriend wants to sleep in separate bedrooms. Hey Granger, 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.400 I'm a new twenty twenty three listener here and one 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.800 that needs your help. My girlfriend, aged twenty one, and I, 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.360 age twenty five, have been dating for about two years. 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:57.120 I live in South Carolina. She moved down in May 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.880 twenty twenty two after her graduation and moved in with me. 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:03.360 All has been well since. Over the past few weeks, 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:07.400 I've been taking strides to reconnect with God with her support. 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:11.080 Went to kindergarten through eighth grade in Christian school, but 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.960 I fell out of touch. We agreed to start sleeping 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.520 in separate bedrooms out of an effort to preserve our 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.200 relationship for marriage and stay true to God's message to 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:24.040 the extent that we can going forward. This was a 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:28.240 mutual decision, but one that she suggested based on my 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:33.640 religious childhood recent reintroduction, and I see her point and 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:37.320 I agreed. We plan to reevaluate at the end of 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:40.480 the month and assess if this concept is one that 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:43.720 we should continue our relationship as a whole as in 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:47.239 a good spot. But as the days take by, I'm 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.799 having doubts to how this ends. We love each other 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:52.680 and we intend to take the next step in marriage, 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.680 but I cannot picture us living together and sleeping in 0:02:55.720 --> 0:03:01.000 separate bedrooms until that point. Is someone moving out but 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:04.079 the relationship is maintained? Let me read that question again. 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:08.400 Is someone moving out but the relationship is maintained? Question mark? 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:11.640 If you were me, what would you do and what 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.160 would the next step be? Dig at me? Hope this 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:17.560 you read this message. God bless Jordan. All Right, Jordan, 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:21.720 thanks for kicking off the podcast today. Let me recap 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:26.519 for my own brain. Here. You are twenty five, she's 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:34.920 twenty one. You've been dating for two years and you, guys, 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:36.800 when did you start living together? That's what I'm looking 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:40.920 for here. For the past few weeks been taken tried 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:45.960 to reconnect. So okay, okay after her graduation. So you've 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.440 been dating for two years, and I'm gonna guess that 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:52.119 you've been living together for about a year, and then 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:56.800 these past few weeks, you've been sleeping in separate bedrooms, 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.480 according to your words, in an effort to preserve our 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.960 relationship for marriage and stay true to God's message to 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.800 the extent that we can't we can going forward. Okay, 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:11.040 got it. We're gonna walk through this together, Jordan. Like 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:12.920 we're in the cab of a truck. We're driving down 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:14.560 a county road and you say, man, let me run 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:16.320 something by you. That's how I'm gonna That's how I 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.640 gonna answer this, and that's how I'm gonna that's how 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:22.039 I'm gonna tell you. And as you said, dig at me, 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:27.000 so let me dig. The first question I have to you, 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:31.520 hypothetically is you say we love each other and intend 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:37.599 to take the next step in marriage. Okay, My first 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:41.920 question is, what's the hold up? You're you're a good age, 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:45.120 you're twenty five, you're a quarter of a century old, 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.160 you are in love, you've been dating for two years. 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.400 What's the hold up? Like, that's what I'm asking you 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.560 at the cab of the trucks the first question, what 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:57.640 are you doing? Bro? What? Like? What's taken so long? 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.320 What are you waiting on? You're waiting on. The excuse 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:02.960 is that the world's gonna tell you, no, we need 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:05.320 to save up a little bit more money. I'm waiting 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:08.279 on this new job. She's waiting to finish up nursing school. 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:11.120 We're gonna, you know, there's like all these we're gonna 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:14.080 waiting to pay the car off, like these are all 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.400 these Oh okay, here's the worst. We're waiting for the 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.560 wedding venue of her dreams to open up and they 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:22.320 don't have an availability until October of two years from now. 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:25.920 Are waiting to make her wedding dress? It takes eighteen 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.920 months to sew it. I mean, this is the girl 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:33.200 that's dumb. Those are dumb reasons. I get it, though, 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.159 you know, I'm mean, I live in this world. I 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.480 get it. But I'm just saying, if you just take 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.520 a step back and you just look at the whole picture, 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:43.400 like those are dumb reasons. But even further than that, 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.120 you're not even engaged yet, So why why have you 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:50.599 not even asked her? Why is this not your fiance, Jordan. 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:54.400 I'm digging at you, man, what's up with that? Do 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:57.960 you have a dumb excuse? Probably right, you're gonna tell 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:05.160 me a dumb excuse, aren't you? Okay, second thing, for 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:08.840 first of all, and let's also say that just long 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.520 engagements are just ridiculous. You've been dating two years, you 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:15.520 love her, You're gonna get married. Why a long engagement? 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:18.680 You know? I mean, all these problems are solved if 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.040 you're just like, hey, let's go to the courthouse. And 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:23.560 know there's people listening to this podcast just screaming at 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:26.480 me like no, that's the quickest way to divorce, just 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:31.400 go to the courthouse. But really, I mean, love is 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:35.880 a decision. We're not gonna we're not gonna sit there 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:37.920 and have these butterflies the rest of our life. At 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:41.320 some point we're gonna go, Okay, I'm deciding I love 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:45.440 this girl, I'm attracted to her, I love her family, 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:50.680 name a bunch of other reasons. Whatever I decide to 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:54.440 make her my wife. I'm deciding that I'm gonna spend 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:56.880 the rest of my life with her, and I'm deciding 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:00.000 that I'm gonna make a commitment I'm gonna give her 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:04.560 my word. I'm gonna make a commitment through sickness and 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.039 in health and all the other things that they say 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:11.200 at the altar. I'm gonna decide with my brain to 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:14.080 make this commitment and I'm kno going to back out 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:19.640 of it. Instead of the alternative is I'm just going 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.320 with the flow. I'm just going with my gut, going 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:28.200 with going my feelings, following following my dreams. That's Hollywood. 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:32.760 You we make a decision, we make a decision to 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:36.600 love and be committed to it. There's there's a deep 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:40.360 emotion that attracts us and that opens our eyes to it, 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:42.480 and then once we see it, we go, Man, I'm 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:45.360 in love and this girl checks the boxes that I 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:49.680 need and and I want to pour myself into her 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:53.640 right like, it's it's time for me to open up 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:58.520 and serve her, and I'll make that decision to serve her. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:08.040 That's that's it. I mean, we're overthinking everything else. So 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:12.000 now let's get into your dating. And you're living with 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:16.680 her and you're sleeping in separate bedrooms. Why are you 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:20.680 doing that? Let me guess you're trying to save money, 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:25.240 trying to save on some rent, you got tired of 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:30.280 driving across town to drop her off. You were sleeping 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:33.080 in the same bedroom. Now you're deciding to reconnect with God. 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:35.120 So it's just more convenient just to go into the 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:40.600 next bedroom instead of go and get another apartment. Man, 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.000 I'm totally with you. I'm human just like you, and 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:47.480 I hear I hear those kinds of excuses ringing in 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:50.079 my own ears, and it's like, yeah, part of me goes, Yeah, 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.240 that makes that makes sense. But we're not talking about 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:56.240 part of me here, right, We're talking about what's right. 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:02.840 So what worries me about this whole thing that we've 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:08.000 talked about is that you are thinking it's not gonna 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.960 work out in the long term for some reason because 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:15.640 of this, as if, as if the marriage was hinging 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:18.920 on this little time when you're sleeping in separate bedrooms. 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.160 You say, our relationship as a whole is in a 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:26.120 good spot. But as the days tick by, I'm having 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:30.840 doubts how this ends. What does that mean? We love 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:33.880 each other and intend to take our next step in marriage, 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:37.040 but I cannot picture living us living together and sleeping 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:43.040 in separate bedrooms until that point. Why two questions? Two 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:48.280 questions very simply. First question is, then why are you 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:51.200 going to wait? I understand you love this girl and 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:54.199 you want a jumper. Okay, then go to the courthouse. 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:57.920 Why are you waiting so long? What? Where's the ring? 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:01.800 Where's the proposal? Where there is the quick engagement that 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:05.199 solves this problem for you? You see the problem solved. 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:10.960 Second question, if something is stopping you from getting married 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:15.880 right now, do you think that it's going to prevent 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:19.360 you from marrying this girl, a girl that you say 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:22.880 you love, spend the rest of your life with, and 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:25.960 it's it's going to be ruined for these next few 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:28.800 months because you can't go get it on with her 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:34.400 in the next room. You hear how that sounds. You 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:38.320 hear how ridiculous that sounds. Is she not worth it 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:47.480 to you? Is your manly instinct more important to you 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:58.959 than her dignity, her respect, her honor, a true selfless 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:05.760 love for her as you your your selfish, selfish, manly desire, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:11.439 fleshly desire. Is that more important to you than honoring 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:16.240 her giving her this gift for the rest of her life? 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.000 So you could say, I honor you, I honor God, 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:24.520 and my love for you over just sex right now, 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:29.040 the same sex that we'll actually have when we're married. 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.920 That is that what you're saying. It is what you're saying. 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.320 I'm acting very nice on this podcast, but that's what 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.839 you're saying. You're saying, I love her. I want to 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.000 spend the rest of my life with her. I honor God. 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:44.240 But I don't think I could go I can go 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.160 very much longer with that having sex with her. So 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:48.120 I just don't think this whole thing is going to 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:51.440 work out. Might have to find another girlfriend, one that 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:53.440 just lets me do whatever I want. Because when I 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:54.960 want to get it on, I want to get it on. 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:00.920 That's what's happening here, man. And so because because I'm 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:04.199 trying to give you some I'm trying to give you 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:10.720 the best tough love I can as a friend, and 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:12.440 I would hope that you would give me the same 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:15.240 thing back, because sometimes when you're in a situation, we 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.720 can't see it. When we're on the outside, it's really 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:21.400 easy to see. And I set off set a lot. 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:29.480 Let's move on to another question. Subject line This next 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:33.680 one says career advice. Email says, Hey, Granger, love the podcast. 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.839 It's helped me a lot I'm Nathan from southern Illinois. 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:39.880 I have a question about how to get started in 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:44.880 a career. So I want to be a conservation officer 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.080 slash game warden. I've been a while, I have a 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:52.960 wildlife management degree. I've been outdoors my whole life. Wildlife 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:55.839 is my passion. I don't know where to start, though 0:12:56.600 --> 0:13:00.960 I've contacted my local conservation officers. The hardest part is 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.280 that there are fifty states and I don't know what 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.440 to research or how to do, so that's just so 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:12.960 many possibilities. My family is not big on talking about 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.960 my personal emotional things, and they're not very supportive. On 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.240 top of that, I'm trying to build my relationship with 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:23.480 God and Christ and making that better, although I'm struggling 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:28.520 with dealing with being single. So all three problems are 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.600 making this very difficult. I just like some advice from 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.640 a Christian standpoint. Sorry for being a three part question. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:41.080 Thanks for everything. I appreciate it, ye, Nathan, I was 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.160 when I read these questions. Y'all. I'm reading it for 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.520 the first time as you're hearing it for the first time, 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:50.640 so I'm processing what i'm hearing just like you are 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:55.920 on the podcast and I'm like, has the question got 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:57.880 more complex? I'm like, man, I thought those were just 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:02.800 career advice, and it's deeper. We've got family involved, now 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.840 I've got faith involved. Now let me back up and 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:09.960 go to the second two questions. Okay, your first one's 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.160 dealing with it being a conservation officer game warden, and 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.360 then the second part starts into this whole My family's 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.880 not big on talking about personal emotional things and they're 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:24.320 not very supportive. Your third question is I'm trying to 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:28.960 build my relationship with God and make that better. And 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.640 then kind of a fourth question that you didn't mention 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.240 is you say it and I'm struggling with dealing with 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:38.200 being single. So there's really four things going on here, 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:48.840 and I don't think like the family thing that's just 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.760 gonna come with the confidence of you dealing with these 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:58.640 other things. Okay, your family not being not talking about 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.400 emotional things and being portive and you being a game warden. 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:06.480 Is I'm gonna make that irrelevant to this conversation because 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.320 you're gonna do this no matter what. You don't need 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:14.320 their emotional and verbal support. You don't need that unless 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:19.200 you're six years old. You're not the struggling with being 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:25.600 single part. Okay, I'm gonna put I'm gonna put that 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:27.760 in the category of the game warden thing too, and 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:30.640 I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, let's nail down this 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:35.000 job thing because we got to We can't deal with 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.240 the single thing first until we get the job thing 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.400 figured out, because this is gonna give you a lot 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.640 of confidence as you start stepping into your own into 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:48.560 this field. Okay. And then lastly, the fourth thing, and 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:52.000 the most important thing is your relationship with God. And 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.400 that's kind of came out of this email, just completely 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:57.560 out of the blue. On top of that, I'm trying 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:01.400 to build my relationship with God and Christ better. That's 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:09.640 exactly what you typed. I don't know how many episodes 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.440 in a row I've gone down this same route, and 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:17.600 I'll do it again. When someone says to me, I'm 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:24.760 trying to build this namely faith or as you say, 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:30.320 relationship with God, I need some advice on how to 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:37.160 do that. Typically every Monday, every podcast I reference this, 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:43.640 I say this, replace that word faith or God. In 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:48.320 your case, it's God building a relationship. Replace that with 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:55.480 anything else in life. For instance, Granger I'm trying to 0:16:55.720 --> 0:17:01.400 build a rock wall in my backyard. Can you help 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:06.600 me with this? Right? All we did was change rock 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:10.399 wall for relationship with God. I would say, what are 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:13.120 you doing? Tell me first, let's get it. Let's get 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:17.800 a base level here, right. What are you doing first 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.000 with this rock wall? Granger? I'm trying to build a 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:24.400 rock wall in my backyard and I need some advice. 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.639 You say, I'm trying to build. You didn't say eventually 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:31.440 I want to build, or tomorrow I'm going to start building. 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:35.080 You say, I'm currently. That's what that word trying means. 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:40.639 I'm trying to build a relationship with God. Change that. 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:44.000 I'm trying to build a rock wall in my backyard. 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:47.840 Can you give me some advice? I say, tell me 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:52.600 your base level. What are you doing right now? You say, well, first, 0:17:53.200 --> 0:18:00.320 I'm collecting the appropriate sized rocks, am my good? Okay. 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:04.480 Then I'm gonna stack the rocks in order of how 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.600 they're going to stack on the wall themselves. Cool. Then 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:11.639 I'm gonna measure the the height that I want to 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.280 go to and do some quick math to make sure 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:17.520 I have enough rocks. Cool. Then I am going to 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.560 set the ground level and make sure we're level and 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:24.679 before I start bringing in the mortar, cool, like that 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:27.320 would be a normal conversation. And I go, okay, here's 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:29.960 now here's a little thing on the mortar thing. I 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:31.760 want to make sure that you get a good water 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.480 mix before you start mixing that mud. And do you 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:37.439 have a wheelbarrow? Are you just doing this in a bucket? 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:39.399 Are you gonna do it in the dirt? Right? This 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:41.879 is be a normal conversation on advice on how to 0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:47.280 build a rock wall. You tracking, what if you said that? 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.600 What if it went this way? Hey Granger, I'm trying 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.840 to build a rock wall in my backyard and need 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.000 some advice and I and I say, cool, tell me 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:59.879 base level. What are you doing? And you go, I 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:05.520 mean nothing, really not really doing anything. I say, okay, 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.320 well that is a base level. You're not doing anything, 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:14.119 Like do you have a shovel? Like, yeah, I've got 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.000 a shovel. I haven't picked up in a long time. 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:21.760 I think it's in the garage. I'm like, okay, do 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:26.800 you have rocks And you're like, I'm pretty sure my 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:31.200 grandpa used to have rocks, and so I'm pretty sure 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:34.320 that most of them are still out there. I'm like, okay, 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:38.920 what about willbarrow? I to be honest, Granger, I've never 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:44.040 really used a willbarrow. I there might be one behind 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:47.000 the shed, but even if there was, it probably has 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:51.480 a flat tire. Right, Okay, so that'd be a normal conversation. 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:54.359 Let's switch it to God and answer your God question. 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:58.119 And in the same way, Granger, here's your exact question. 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:04.159 I'm trying to build my relationship with God. What is 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:07.159 some advice? So then I say what are you doing? 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:12.800 I'll start there, and ultimately, the beginning of that should 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:16.720 always start with Instead of rocks, it starts with surrender. 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:20.280 I've come to a point of complete surrender. God. I 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:27.560 need you, I need your help. I'm hungry to learn 0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:31.879 more about you. There's something missing in me, and I 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:35.200 hear on this podcast that there is an answer with you, 0:20:36.119 --> 0:20:38.360 and I want you to show that to me. I'm 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:41.240 gonna give up trying everything else around me. Worldly, I'm 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:46.320 gonna completely open my hands, open my palms upward, and 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:52.480 say come into my life and just re rework everything. Right. 0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:55.480 That's a good start. And then I say, okay, great, 0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:58.320 do you have a Bible? And you're like, yeah, I 0:20:58.320 --> 0:21:00.960 think so. It's out in the ground, it's dusty, and 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:04.680 I say, let's get a reading plan going. It's got 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:06.520 a solid reading plan where you're waking up in the 0:21:06.560 --> 0:21:09.480 morning every day and you're getting up early and you're 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:11.760 opening up that Bible and you're getting a hot cup 0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:14.560 of coffee before the sun comes up, and you go, Hey, 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:16.760 here we go. This is where I left off from yesterday. 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:20.760 Here I'm coming on to Matthew chapter three. I read 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:23.520 two yesterday. I'm gonna read three today and I read 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.360 four tomorrow, and I'm gonna really start working through this 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:30.600 and reading. And if I don't understand it, I'm gonna 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:32.840 google something or I'm gonna YouTube something to try to 0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:36.480 understand it better. And then I'm gonna get plugged in 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.720 with a local church. Do you have a local church. 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:44.120 Grandpa used to go to one, but I'm not sure 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:48.000 where it is. Maybe maybe I could go and figure 0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:51.400 it out and see what Grandpa did there, and get 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:54.240 plugged in and maybe meet the pastor and just be 0:21:54.359 --> 0:21:57.560 vulnerable and just tell them, Hey, I'm Nathan from southern 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:00.840 Illinois and I'm just not really used to going to 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:03.240 church and this is all new to me. But I'm 0:22:03.359 --> 0:22:06.920 hungry for it and I'd like to start learning. Can 0:22:06.920 --> 0:22:09.360 you tell me where to start? And the Pastor's like absolutely, 0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:11.959 what are you interested in? And let's get you plugged 0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:13.840 in and let me introduce you to a couple of 0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:16.960 people and services at nine am on Sunday. You think 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:19.040 you can come and you're like, yeah, do I have 0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:21.560 to get dressed up? And he's like, no, man, you 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:23.640 just come. Come in your boots and your jeans. I'd 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:27.320 be just fine and bring that. You got a Bible 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:29.000 and you're like, yeah, I actually I just dusted it off. 0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:31.280 I started to reading. I'm in Matthew three and he's like, great, 0:22:31.680 --> 0:22:34.720 bring it with you. I'll talk about it. And he's 0:22:34.720 --> 0:22:36.280 like you might have to pray with you real quick. 0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:40.280 And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'd like that very much. 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:48.480 Does that sound Does that sound right to you? That 0:22:48.600 --> 0:22:52.960 seems I mean, it's not complicated. It's like building a 0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:56.080 brick wall. What do you do you start with the rocks? 0:22:57.840 --> 0:23:07.920 Building anything? On a less important matter, the game warden thing. 0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:13.439 Could I just point out that it sounds like you 0:23:13.440 --> 0:23:17.680 have other things that are distracting you from jumping into 0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:21.920 something like this, the family issue, the god issue, to 0:23:22.040 --> 0:23:25.960 being single and not content issue is kind of bleeding 0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:28.119 over into the search and for the new job issue. 0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:33.400 And it sounds like you're in a season of restlessness 0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:36.760 right now. There's just kind of there's a stirring going 0:23:36.800 --> 0:23:38.720 on within you. And I don't think that's a bad thing. 0:23:39.200 --> 0:23:42.520 Sometimes we think when the wind blows outside that it's 0:23:42.560 --> 0:23:46.600 a bad thing. Oh man, it's windy today. Hey, I 0:23:46.680 --> 0:23:50.320 like it when it's a windy day stirring things. It's 0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:52.400 knocking those dead branches way at the top of the tree, 0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:56.359 it's knocking that stuff out. It's cleaning things up a 0:23:56.400 --> 0:23:59.400 little bit. While that dust on the sidewalk, it's blown 0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:03.000 it off, cleaning it up a little bit. It's good 0:24:03.080 --> 0:24:05.280 to have a stirring in your life. I think you're 0:24:05.320 --> 0:24:08.440 going through a stirring season and I would lean into 0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:12.200 it and not run away from it. Does that make sense. 0:24:14.000 --> 0:24:15.680 I think when you get some of the stuff figured out, 0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:17.920 and you get plugged in, and you get the dust 0:24:18.400 --> 0:24:20.640 knocked off of that Bible and you go meet that pastor, 0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:25.960 I think this game warden thing is gonna start becoming 0:24:26.000 --> 0:24:29.640 a little more clear for you. 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