Speaker 1: Sometimes we think when the wind blows outside that it's
Speaker 1: a bad thing. Oh man, it's windy today. Hey, I
Speaker 1: like it when it's a windy day, stirring things. It's
Speaker 1: knocking those dead branches way at the top of the tree,
Speaker 1: it's knocking that stuff out. It's cleaning things up a
Speaker 1: little bit. While that dust on the sidewalk, it's blowing
Speaker 1: it off. It's cleaning it up a little bit. It's
Speaker 1: good to have a stirring in your life. I think
Speaker 1: you're going through a stirring season, and I would lean
Speaker 1: into it and not run away from it. What's up, everybody?
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast, episode one seventy three. Thanks
Speaker 1: for watching and listening wherever you're coming from, whatever platform,
Speaker 1: wherever in the world you are. I'm just glad you're here.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to do this. I answer your questions. You
Speaker 1: email me You're Smith podcast at gmail dot com, and
Speaker 1: I can answer it the best I can. No notes
Speaker 1: in front of me. I'm not prepared, I don't have
Speaker 1: a book ready, I don't have some kind of system
Speaker 1: that I'm working with here. I'm just talking like we're
Speaker 1: just two friends and you just say, hey, can I
Speaker 1: run something by you, And I'm not always right when
Speaker 1: I give you an answer, but I'm going to give
Speaker 1: it to you the best I know how as if
Speaker 1: we're in the cab of a truck and you got
Speaker 1: a question, and I would assume that you would deliver
Speaker 1: the same kind of answer back to me if I
Speaker 1: had a question for you. Okay, let's get to the
Speaker 1: first email. There is no order, there is no system.
Speaker 1: I'm running with here. Subject line of this first one
Speaker 1: says girlfriend wants to sleep in separate bedrooms. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I'm a new twenty twenty three listener here and one
Speaker 1: that needs your help. My girlfriend, aged twenty one, and I,
Speaker 1: age twenty five, have been dating for about two years.
Speaker 1: I live in South Carolina. She moved down in May
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two after her graduation and moved in with me.
Speaker 1: All has been well since. Over the past few weeks,
Speaker 1: I've been taking strides to reconnect with God with her support.
Speaker 1: Went to kindergarten through eighth grade in Christian school, but
Speaker 1: I fell out of touch. We agreed to start sleeping
Speaker 1: in separate bedrooms out of an effort to preserve our
Speaker 1: relationship for marriage and stay true to God's message to
Speaker 1: the extent that we can going forward. This was a
Speaker 1: mutual decision, but one that she suggested based on my
Speaker 1: religious childhood recent reintroduction, and I see her point and
Speaker 1: I agreed. We plan to reevaluate at the end of
Speaker 1: the month and assess if this concept is one that
Speaker 1: we should continue our relationship as a whole as in
Speaker 1: a good spot. But as the days take by, I'm
Speaker 1: having doubts to how this ends. We love each other
Speaker 1: and we intend to take the next step in marriage,
Speaker 1: but I cannot picture us living together and sleeping in
Speaker 1: separate bedrooms until that point. Is someone moving out but
Speaker 1: the relationship is maintained? Let me read that question again.
Speaker 1: Is someone moving out but the relationship is maintained? Question mark?
Speaker 1: If you were me, what would you do and what
Speaker 1: would the next step be? Dig at me? Hope this
Speaker 1: you read this message. God bless Jordan. All Right, Jordan,
Speaker 1: thanks for kicking off the podcast today. Let me recap
Speaker 1: for my own brain. Here. You are twenty five, she's
Speaker 1: twenty one. You've been dating for two years and you, guys,
Speaker 1: when did you start living together? That's what I'm looking
Speaker 1: for here. For the past few weeks been taken tried
Speaker 1: to reconnect. So okay, okay after her graduation. So you've
Speaker 1: been dating for two years, and I'm gonna guess that
Speaker 1: you've been living together for about a year, and then
Speaker 1: these past few weeks, you've been sleeping in separate bedrooms,
Speaker 1: according to your words, in an effort to preserve our
Speaker 1: relationship for marriage and stay true to God's message to
Speaker 1: the extent that we can't we can going forward. Okay,
Speaker 1: got it. We're gonna walk through this together, Jordan. Like
Speaker 1: we're in the cab of a truck. We're driving down
Speaker 1: a county road and you say, man, let me run
Speaker 1: something by you. That's how I'm gonna That's how I
Speaker 1: gonna answer this, and that's how I'm gonna that's how
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you. And as you said, dig at me,
Speaker 1: so let me dig. The first question I have to you,
Speaker 1: hypothetically is you say we love each other and intend
Speaker 1: to take the next step in marriage. Okay, My first
Speaker 1: question is, what's the hold up? You're you're a good age,
Speaker 1: you're twenty five, you're a quarter of a century old,
Speaker 1: you are in love, you've been dating for two years.
Speaker 1: What's the hold up? Like, that's what I'm asking you
Speaker 1: at the cab of the trucks the first question, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Bro? What? Like? What's taken so long?
Speaker 1: What are you waiting on? You're waiting on. The excuse
Speaker 1: is that the world's gonna tell you, no, we need
Speaker 1: to save up a little bit more money. I'm waiting
Speaker 1: on this new job. She's waiting to finish up nursing school.
Speaker 1: We're gonna, you know, there's like all these we're gonna
Speaker 1: waiting to pay the car off, like these are all
Speaker 1: these Oh okay, here's the worst. We're waiting for the
Speaker 1: wedding venue of her dreams to open up and they
Speaker 1: don't have an availability until October of two years from now.
Speaker 1: Are waiting to make her wedding dress? It takes eighteen
Speaker 1: months to sew it. I mean, this is the girl
Speaker 1: that's dumb. Those are dumb reasons. I get it, though,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm mean, I live in this world. I
Speaker 1: get it. But I'm just saying, if you just take
Speaker 1: a step back and you just look at the whole picture,
Speaker 1: like those are dumb reasons. But even further than that,
Speaker 1: you're not even engaged yet, So why why have you
Speaker 1: not even asked her? Why is this not your fiance, Jordan.
Speaker 1: I'm digging at you, man, what's up with that? Do
Speaker 1: you have a dumb excuse? Probably right, you're gonna tell
Speaker 1: me a dumb excuse, aren't you? Okay, second thing, for
Speaker 1: first of all, and let's also say that just long
Speaker 1: engagements are just ridiculous. You've been dating two years, you
Speaker 1: love her, You're gonna get married. Why a long engagement?
Speaker 1: You know? I mean, all these problems are solved if
Speaker 1: you're just like, hey, let's go to the courthouse. And
Speaker 1: know there's people listening to this podcast just screaming at
Speaker 1: me like no, that's the quickest way to divorce, just
Speaker 1: go to the courthouse. But really, I mean, love is
Speaker 1: a decision. We're not gonna we're not gonna sit there
Speaker 1: and have these butterflies the rest of our life. At
Speaker 1: some point we're gonna go, Okay, I'm deciding I love
Speaker 1: this girl, I'm attracted to her, I love her family,
Speaker 1: name a bunch of other reasons. Whatever I decide to
Speaker 1: make her my wife. I'm deciding that I'm gonna spend
Speaker 1: the rest of my life with her, and I'm deciding
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna make a commitment I'm gonna give her
Speaker 1: my word. I'm gonna make a commitment through sickness and
Speaker 1: in health and all the other things that they say
Speaker 1: at the altar. I'm gonna decide with my brain to
Speaker 1: make this commitment and I'm kno going to back out
Speaker 1: of it. Instead of the alternative is I'm just going
Speaker 1: with the flow. I'm just going with my gut, going
Speaker 1: with going my feelings, following following my dreams. That's Hollywood.
Speaker 1: You we make a decision, we make a decision to
Speaker 1: love and be committed to it. There's there's a deep
Speaker 1: emotion that attracts us and that opens our eyes to it,
Speaker 1: and then once we see it, we go, Man, I'm
Speaker 1: in love and this girl checks the boxes that I
Speaker 1: need and and I want to pour myself into her
Speaker 1: right like, it's it's time for me to open up
Speaker 1: and serve her, and I'll make that decision to serve her.
Speaker 1: That's that's it. I mean, we're overthinking everything else. So
Speaker 1: now let's get into your dating. And you're living with
Speaker 1: her and you're sleeping in separate bedrooms. Why are you
Speaker 1: doing that? Let me guess you're trying to save money,
Speaker 1: trying to save on some rent, you got tired of
Speaker 1: driving across town to drop her off. You were sleeping
Speaker 1: in the same bedroom. Now you're deciding to reconnect with God.
Speaker 1: So it's just more convenient just to go into the
Speaker 1: next bedroom instead of go and get another apartment. Man,
Speaker 1: I'm totally with you. I'm human just like you, and
Speaker 1: I hear I hear those kinds of excuses ringing in
Speaker 1: my own ears, and it's like, yeah, part of me goes, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes that makes sense. But we're not talking about
Speaker 1: part of me here, right, We're talking about what's right.
Speaker 1: So what worries me about this whole thing that we've
Speaker 1: talked about is that you are thinking it's not gonna
Speaker 1: work out in the long term for some reason because
Speaker 1: of this, as if, as if the marriage was hinging
Speaker 1: on this little time when you're sleeping in separate bedrooms.
Speaker 1: You say, our relationship as a whole is in a
Speaker 1: good spot. But as the days tick by, I'm having
Speaker 1: doubts how this ends. What does that mean? We love
Speaker 1: each other and intend to take our next step in marriage,
Speaker 1: but I cannot picture living us living together and sleeping
Speaker 1: in separate bedrooms until that point. Why two questions? Two
Speaker 1: questions very simply. First question is, then why are you
Speaker 1: going to wait? I understand you love this girl and
Speaker 1: you want a jumper. Okay, then go to the courthouse.
Speaker 1: Why are you waiting so long? What? Where's the ring?
Speaker 1: Where's the proposal? Where there is the quick engagement that
Speaker 1: solves this problem for you? You see the problem solved.
Speaker 1: Second question, if something is stopping you from getting married
Speaker 1: right now, do you think that it's going to prevent
Speaker 1: you from marrying this girl, a girl that you say
Speaker 1: you love, spend the rest of your life with, and
Speaker 1: it's it's going to be ruined for these next few
Speaker 1: months because you can't go get it on with her
Speaker 1: in the next room. You hear how that sounds. You
Speaker 1: hear how ridiculous that sounds. Is she not worth it
Speaker 1: to you? Is your manly instinct more important to you
Speaker 1: than her dignity, her respect, her honor, a true selfless
Speaker 1: love for her as you your your selfish, selfish, manly desire,
Speaker 1: fleshly desire. Is that more important to you than honoring
Speaker 1: her giving her this gift for the rest of her life?
Speaker 1: So you could say, I honor you, I honor God,
Speaker 1: and my love for you over just sex right now,
Speaker 1: the same sex that we'll actually have when we're married.
Speaker 1: That is that what you're saying. It is what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I'm acting very nice on this podcast, but that's what
Speaker 1: you're saying. You're saying, I love her. I want to
Speaker 1: spend the rest of my life with her. I honor God.
Speaker 1: But I don't think I could go I can go
Speaker 1: very much longer with that having sex with her. So
Speaker 1: I just don't think this whole thing is going to
Speaker 1: work out. Might have to find another girlfriend, one that
Speaker 1: just lets me do whatever I want. Because when I
Speaker 1: want to get it on, I want to get it on.
Speaker 1: That's what's happening here, man. And so because because I'm
Speaker 1: trying to give you some I'm trying to give you
Speaker 1: the best tough love I can as a friend, and
Speaker 1: I would hope that you would give me the same
Speaker 1: thing back, because sometimes when you're in a situation, we
Speaker 1: can't see it. When we're on the outside, it's really
Speaker 1: easy to see. And I set off set a lot.
Speaker 1: Let's move on to another question. Subject line This next
Speaker 1: one says career advice. Email says, Hey, Granger, love the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's helped me a lot I'm Nathan from southern Illinois.
Speaker 1: I have a question about how to get started in
Speaker 1: a career. So I want to be a conservation officer
Speaker 1: slash game warden. I've been a while, I have a
Speaker 1: wildlife management degree. I've been outdoors my whole life. Wildlife
Speaker 1: is my passion. I don't know where to start, though
Speaker 1: I've contacted my local conservation officers. The hardest part is
Speaker 1: that there are fifty states and I don't know what
Speaker 1: to research or how to do, so that's just so
Speaker 1: many possibilities. My family is not big on talking about
Speaker 1: my personal emotional things, and they're not very supportive. On
Speaker 1: top of that, I'm trying to build my relationship with
Speaker 1: God and Christ and making that better, although I'm struggling
Speaker 1: with dealing with being single. So all three problems are
Speaker 1: making this very difficult. I just like some advice from
Speaker 1: a Christian standpoint. Sorry for being a three part question.
Speaker 1: Thanks for everything. I appreciate it, ye, Nathan, I was
Speaker 1: when I read these questions. Y'all. I'm reading it for
Speaker 1: the first time as you're hearing it for the first time,
Speaker 1: so I'm processing what i'm hearing just like you are
Speaker 1: on the podcast and I'm like, has the question got
Speaker 1: more complex? I'm like, man, I thought those were just
Speaker 1: career advice, and it's deeper. We've got family involved, now
Speaker 1: I've got faith involved. Now let me back up and
Speaker 1: go to the second two questions. Okay, your first one's
Speaker 1: dealing with it being a conservation officer game warden, and
Speaker 1: then the second part starts into this whole My family's
Speaker 1: not big on talking about personal emotional things and they're
Speaker 1: not very supportive. Your third question is I'm trying to
Speaker 1: build my relationship with God and make that better. And
Speaker 1: then kind of a fourth question that you didn't mention
Speaker 1: is you say it and I'm struggling with dealing with
Speaker 1: being single. So there's really four things going on here,
Speaker 1: and I don't think like the family thing that's just
Speaker 1: gonna come with the confidence of you dealing with these
Speaker 1: other things. Okay, your family not being not talking about
Speaker 1: emotional things and being portive and you being a game warden.
Speaker 1: Is I'm gonna make that irrelevant to this conversation because
Speaker 1: you're gonna do this no matter what. You don't need
Speaker 1: their emotional and verbal support. You don't need that unless
Speaker 1: you're six years old. You're not the struggling with being
Speaker 1: single part. Okay, I'm gonna put I'm gonna put that
Speaker 1: in the category of the game warden thing too, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, let's nail down this
Speaker 1: job thing because we got to We can't deal with
Speaker 1: the single thing first until we get the job thing
Speaker 1: figured out, because this is gonna give you a lot
Speaker 1: of confidence as you start stepping into your own into
Speaker 1: this field. Okay. And then lastly, the fourth thing, and
Speaker 1: the most important thing is your relationship with God. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of came out of this email, just completely
Speaker 1: out of the blue. On top of that, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to build my relationship with God and Christ better. That's
Speaker 1: exactly what you typed. I don't know how many episodes
Speaker 1: in a row I've gone down this same route, and
Speaker 1: I'll do it again. When someone says to me, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to build this namely faith or as you say,
Speaker 1: relationship with God, I need some advice on how to
Speaker 1: do that. Typically every Monday, every podcast I reference this,
Speaker 1: I say this, replace that word faith or God. In
Speaker 1: your case, it's God building a relationship. Replace that with
Speaker 1: anything else in life. For instance, Granger I'm trying to
Speaker 1: build a rock wall in my backyard. Can you help
Speaker 1: me with this? Right? All we did was change rock
Speaker 1: wall for relationship with God. I would say, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? Tell me first, let's get it. Let's get
Speaker 1: a base level here, right. What are you doing first
Speaker 1: with this rock wall? Granger? I'm trying to build a
Speaker 1: rock wall in my backyard and I need some advice.
Speaker 1: You say, I'm trying to build. You didn't say eventually
Speaker 1: I want to build, or tomorrow I'm going to start building.
Speaker 1: You say, I'm currently. That's what that word trying means.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build a relationship with God. Change that.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build a rock wall in my backyard.
Speaker 1: Can you give me some advice? I say, tell me
Speaker 1: your base level. What are you doing right now? You say, well, first,
Speaker 1: I'm collecting the appropriate sized rocks, am my good? Okay.
Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna stack the rocks in order of how
Speaker 1: they're going to stack on the wall themselves. Cool. Then
Speaker 1: I'm gonna measure the the height that I want to
Speaker 1: go to and do some quick math to make sure
Speaker 1: I have enough rocks. Cool. Then I am going to
Speaker 1: set the ground level and make sure we're level and
Speaker 1: before I start bringing in the mortar, cool, like that
Speaker 1: would be a normal conversation. And I go, okay, here's
Speaker 1: now here's a little thing on the mortar thing. I
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you get a good water
Speaker 1: mix before you start mixing that mud. And do you
Speaker 1: have a wheelbarrow? Are you just doing this in a bucket?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna do it in the dirt? Right? This
Speaker 1: is be a normal conversation on advice on how to
Speaker 1: build a rock wall. You tracking, what if you said that?
Speaker 1: What if it went this way? Hey Granger, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to build a rock wall in my backyard and need
Speaker 1: some advice and I and I say, cool, tell me
Speaker 1: base level. What are you doing? And you go, I
Speaker 1: mean nothing, really not really doing anything. I say, okay,
Speaker 1: well that is a base level. You're not doing anything,
Speaker 1: Like do you have a shovel? Like, yeah, I've got
Speaker 1: a shovel. I haven't picked up in a long time.
Speaker 1: I think it's in the garage. I'm like, okay, do
Speaker 1: you have rocks And you're like, I'm pretty sure my
Speaker 1: grandpa used to have rocks, and so I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that most of them are still out there. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: what about willbarrow? I to be honest, Granger, I've never
Speaker 1: really used a willbarrow. I there might be one behind
Speaker 1: the shed, but even if there was, it probably has
Speaker 1: a flat tire. Right, Okay, so that'd be a normal conversation.
Speaker 1: Let's switch it to God and answer your God question.
Speaker 1: And in the same way, Granger, here's your exact question.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build my relationship with God. What is
Speaker 1: some advice? So then I say what are you doing?
Speaker 1: I'll start there, and ultimately, the beginning of that should
Speaker 1: always start with Instead of rocks, it starts with surrender.
Speaker 1: I've come to a point of complete surrender. God. I
Speaker 1: need you, I need your help. I'm hungry to learn
Speaker 1: more about you. There's something missing in me, and I
Speaker 1: hear on this podcast that there is an answer with you,
Speaker 1: and I want you to show that to me. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give up trying everything else around me. Worldly, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna completely open my hands, open my palms upward, and
Speaker 1: say come into my life and just re rework everything. Right.
Speaker 1: That's a good start. And then I say, okay, great,
Speaker 1: do you have a Bible? And you're like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think so. It's out in the ground, it's dusty, and
Speaker 1: I say, let's get a reading plan going. It's got
Speaker 1: a solid reading plan where you're waking up in the
Speaker 1: morning every day and you're getting up early and you're
Speaker 1: opening up that Bible and you're getting a hot cup
Speaker 1: of coffee before the sun comes up, and you go, Hey,
Speaker 1: here we go. This is where I left off from yesterday.
Speaker 1: Here I'm coming on to Matthew chapter three. I read
Speaker 1: two yesterday. I'm gonna read three today and I read
Speaker 1: four tomorrow, and I'm gonna really start working through this
Speaker 1: and reading. And if I don't understand it, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: google something or I'm gonna YouTube something to try to
Speaker 1: understand it better. And then I'm gonna get plugged in
Speaker 1: with a local church. Do you have a local church.
Speaker 1: Grandpa used to go to one, but I'm not sure
Speaker 1: where it is. Maybe maybe I could go and figure
Speaker 1: it out and see what Grandpa did there, and get
Speaker 1: plugged in and maybe meet the pastor and just be
Speaker 1: vulnerable and just tell them, Hey, I'm Nathan from southern
Speaker 1: Illinois and I'm just not really used to going to
Speaker 1: church and this is all new to me. But I'm
Speaker 1: hungry for it and I'd like to start learning. Can
Speaker 1: you tell me where to start? And the Pastor's like absolutely,
Speaker 1: what are you interested in? And let's get you plugged
Speaker 1: in and let me introduce you to a couple of
Speaker 1: people and services at nine am on Sunday. You think
Speaker 1: you can come and you're like, yeah, do I have
Speaker 1: to get dressed up? And he's like, no, man, you
Speaker 1: just come. Come in your boots and your jeans. I'd
Speaker 1: be just fine and bring that. You got a Bible
Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, I actually I just dusted it off.
Speaker 1: I started to reading. I'm in Matthew three and he's like, great,
Speaker 1: bring it with you. I'll talk about it. And he's
Speaker 1: like you might have to pray with you real quick.
Speaker 1: And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'd like that very much.
Speaker 1: Does that sound Does that sound right to you? That
Speaker 1: seems I mean, it's not complicated. It's like building a
Speaker 1: brick wall. What do you do you start with the rocks?
Speaker 1: Building anything? On a less important matter, the game warden thing.
Speaker 1: Could I just point out that it sounds like you
Speaker 1: have other things that are distracting you from jumping into
Speaker 1: something like this, the family issue, the god issue, to
Speaker 1: being single and not content issue is kind of bleeding
Speaker 1: over into the search and for the new job issue.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're in a season of restlessness
Speaker 1: right now. There's just kind of there's a stirring going
Speaker 1: on within you. And I don't think that's a bad thing.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we think when the wind blows outside that it's
Speaker 1: a bad thing. Oh man, it's windy today. Hey, I
Speaker 1: like it when it's a windy day stirring things. It's
Speaker 1: knocking those dead branches way at the top of the tree,
Speaker 1: it's knocking that stuff out. It's cleaning things up a
Speaker 1: little bit. While that dust on the sidewalk, it's blown
Speaker 1: it off, cleaning it up a little bit. It's good
Speaker 1: to have a stirring in your life. I think you're
Speaker 1: going through a stirring season and I would lean into
Speaker 1: it and not run away from it. Does that make sense.
Speaker 1: I think when you get some of the stuff figured out,
Speaker 1: and you get plugged in, and you get the dust
Speaker 1: knocked off of that Bible and you go meet that pastor,
Speaker 1: I think this game warden thing is gonna start becoming
Speaker 1: a little more clear for you. Let's take a break,
Speaker 1: be right back Podcast Today's brought to you guys by
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Speaker 1: wide at cozyearth dot com. Back to the podcast, Okay,
Speaker 1: welcome back, diving back into these questions, just rocking it.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me, email Grangersmith podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject. I
Speaker 1: ask that you don't make it longer than like a
Speaker 1: phone link, and that you don't send the same email
Speaker 1: twice it just gets deleted. Nothing than that free reign.
Speaker 1: Ask me anything you want. Could be about any subject.
Speaker 1: Here's one right now. Subject line says songwriting. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I live in Chilliwack, British Columbia. I've been a huge
Speaker 1: fan of your music for years. I don't have a
Speaker 1: favorite song of yours because I love so many of them.
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about writing my own music, but I'm
Speaker 1: not sure where to start. Could you help me. I
Speaker 1: would have really appreciated. This comes from Lincoln. He's fifteen
Speaker 1: years old. Lincoln, thank you brother. Okay, Yeah, the first
Speaker 1: thing in songwriting that I would say the first piece
Speaker 1: of advice is learn an instrument, piano, guitar. I say
Speaker 1: that twenty twenty three is probably the best time ever
Speaker 1: in the history of musical instruments. This is the best
Speaker 1: time to learn one. Because of this, this such a
Speaker 1: wide vast accessibility of lessons for free on the internet.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can learn how to play guitar from TikTok.
Speaker 1: You can learn how to play guitar easily from YouTube,
Speaker 1: or same with piano, and it's all free. You gotta
Speaker 1: skip through a couple ads every once in a while,
Speaker 1: but it's free other than that, and it's just a
Speaker 1: really good time to go down to your local music
Speaker 1: store or Facebook marketplace or Craigslist or a pawnshop or whatever,
Speaker 1: or your grandmother like I did, and get a little guitar,
Speaker 1: get a little keyboard, head some headphones. When you start
Speaker 1: learning an instrument, that will open up the world of songwriting.
Speaker 1: Do that first, learn your way around chords and progressions,
Speaker 1: play your favorite songs on the radio. Play your favorite
Speaker 1: songs wherever you love to hear them and learn them well,
Speaker 1: learn to sing along with them, and that is the
Speaker 1: first step in understanding the craft of songwriting itself. Next email,
Speaker 1: there is no subject, and the question says, Hey, Grangeer,
Speaker 1: I just discovered your podcast a small while ago find
Speaker 1: it very inspiring. My name is Trudy. I'm nineteen and engaged,
Speaker 1: and I work in a bakery. I don't feel passionate
Speaker 1: about my work and I have a hard time getting
Speaker 1: up and going to work in the morning. I was
Speaker 1: a high school dropout and my dream is to have
Speaker 1: a job that I feel passionate about. I've applied it
Speaker 1: several places and none have contacted me, even though it's
Speaker 1: been several months. Do you have any advice on how
Speaker 1: to obtain a job that I would like despite me
Speaker 1: not having graduated. Look look forward to maybe hearing from you.
Speaker 1: Thanks all right, Trudy, thank you for the email, and
Speaker 1: thanks for recently discovering the podcast. This high school dropout thing,
Speaker 1: it's the thing in the past for you. It's not
Speaker 1: it's not a it's not a roadblock, it's not a
Speaker 1: hindrance to you. There's a couple of ways to look
Speaker 1: at it. One it sounds like it sounds like you
Speaker 1: are mentally held back by this being a dropout thing.
Speaker 1: I would I would counsel you if we're friends, to say,
Speaker 1: and we are friends, by the way, to say, because
Speaker 1: of that obstacle in your mind, because you're not because
Speaker 1: you're not coming across in this email saying look, I
Speaker 1: didn't finish high school, but that doesn't matter because I'm
Speaker 1: doing this, this, this, this, this, that's not you. Because that,
Speaker 1: I would say, you're going to pursue a ged online,
Speaker 1: You're going to get that diploma online, and you're going
Speaker 1: to continue to work in the bakery while you do it.
Speaker 1: You have a good job. A lot of people don't
Speaker 1: have a good job. This is this is a secure thing.
Speaker 1: You might not be passionate about it, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: Careers are kind of like relationships in twenty twenty three
Speaker 1: as far as when we see things on social media
Speaker 1: and we see influencers talking, and we watch movies and
Speaker 1: we just we see this idea that that there's glamour
Speaker 1: in our career and our career defines us like we
Speaker 1: are what we do and so we should live our
Speaker 1: dreams out and live it vibrantly, because when we do that,
Speaker 1: everyone around us will be like, Wow, that person lives vibrantly,
Speaker 1: they have a vibrant job job. They must be a crazy, vibrant,
Speaker 1: crazy person. Wow, so much mad respect for that person.
Speaker 1: And it's all just a mirage. What we do is
Speaker 1: not who we are. I don't have to say too
Speaker 1: that being a baker is not a bad thing. There
Speaker 1: are some very glamorous bakers out there right Like, being
Speaker 1: a baker could be a very well respected job. But
Speaker 1: that's not your point. You're not passionate about it. My
Speaker 1: point is you don't have to be passionate about your
Speaker 1: job to be a passionate person about life. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be a passionate person about your job to
Speaker 1: be a passionate person about your life. You just don't.
Speaker 1: It's about doing things with excellence. I tell my kids
Speaker 1: this all the time. Guys, do things with excellence everything
Speaker 1: you do. What if everything that you did from when
Speaker 1: you wake up to when you go to bed was
Speaker 1: done with perfection, with excellence, like from brushing your teeth
Speaker 1: to making your bed to taking your shirt off of
Speaker 1: your hanger in your closet, and when the hanger pops
Speaker 1: back up and kind of loops back over the other hanger.
Speaker 1: You stop and you fix it, and you correct it
Speaker 1: and you line it up. I'm not talking about weird ocd,
Speaker 1: obsessive compulsive. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: doing things with excellence so that you could take pride
Speaker 1: in those things. And being a baker is a really
Speaker 1: good example of going in in the morning and you
Speaker 1: got your apron on and you got your workspace completely
Speaker 1: clean in the morning. There's like little crumbs on there,
Speaker 1: maybe from yesterday, and you clean it off and you
Speaker 1: make that table nice and perfect, and you get everything.
Speaker 1: You get your dough all lined up, and you go
Speaker 1: to your oven and there's like smudges, there's finger smudges
Speaker 1: on the buttons of the oven, and you get you
Speaker 1: get a rag and you get that all wiped off
Speaker 1: and it's just like perfectly crystal clean on the on
Speaker 1: the dashboard of the oven right, and you get the
Speaker 1: lights just right, and you get your workspace just perfectly
Speaker 1: set up. There's there's something there's a piece of trash
Speaker 1: crumpled up from somebody else on the floor, and you
Speaker 1: make your way to it and you take that trash
Speaker 1: and you put it in the garbage. And when you
Speaker 1: go to the garbage it's overflowing a little bit. Too
Speaker 1: many people have stacked up garbage and there's overflowing. And
Speaker 1: you take that bag, you wrap it up, tie nod
Speaker 1: in it, take it out to the alley, throw it
Speaker 1: in the dumpster, come back in and get a fresh bag,
Speaker 1: and you put it in and it kind of wrinkles
Speaker 1: up on the side. Then you stop and you pause
Speaker 1: and you push those wrinkles down, pull the lid over,
Speaker 1: Slide the trash can over, back to the wall. Go
Speaker 1: back to your workspace. Little crumb has now floated over there.
Speaker 1: You brush it off. You guys might think I'm crazy.
Speaker 1: You think I'm crazy, But if you've never tried this,
Speaker 1: trying to live in excellence, if you've never tried this,
Speaker 1: that does something to you. And I'm preaching to myself too,
Speaker 1: guys like live I don't live life like this, But
Speaker 1: when I think about it and I try to be
Speaker 1: present in the moment, it's going to really help you
Speaker 1: to go. You know what, I'm not passionate about being
Speaker 1: in a bakery until I started taking pride of being
Speaker 1: in the bakery and I started treating every moment with
Speaker 1: excellence in the bakery, and it changed me, and it
Speaker 1: changed the way the perception around me was. And my
Speaker 1: boss quickly noticed it. And it just spills over into
Speaker 1: everything in your life. And then you get you go
Speaker 1: outside and you get into your car and there's stuff
Speaker 1: on your floorboard, and you clean it up. Stop at
Speaker 1: the gas station, throw it in the trash right there,
Speaker 1: wipe off your dashboard. I'm telling y'all that living a
Speaker 1: life like a monk or a navy seal or an
Speaker 1: army general, if you try that, It's crazy how you
Speaker 1: could take something that could be mundane, like working in
Speaker 1: a bakery, and all of a sudden becomes something that's
Speaker 1: a work of art. Living life like an artist like
Speaker 1: a work of art. I went way too long on this,
Speaker 1: but I think it's important for a lot of things.
Speaker 1: And meanwhile, while you're doing that, okay, you're you're going
Speaker 1: home and online, you're pursuing a GED. You might not
Speaker 1: even use that get you're a high school dropout until
Speaker 1: you get that GED, and then you could erase that.
Speaker 1: If anyone else is that's listening, that's no big deal.
Speaker 1: But it's a big deal to Trudy. Trudy brought it up.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm dealing with it. Okay, if it's not
Speaker 1: a big deal to you, and you're in a high
Speaker 1: school dropout, no sweat. But it's a big deal of Trudy.
Speaker 1: So I want to help wipe that slate clean so
Speaker 1: that Trudy could then move on and go. I'm no
Speaker 1: longer a high school dropout. I'm now a ged graduate
Speaker 1: and I also work at a bakery and I'm starting
Speaker 1: to really love it. Let's take another question. Hey, Grangdeer,
Speaker 1: I'm a listener from Virginia. I love how I love
Speaker 1: how you talk on this podcast. How do you know
Speaker 1: God is talking to you because I'm trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what to do with my life and I have
Speaker 1: no clue what to do. I'm a I'm a college
Speaker 1: student taking general education. Have you talked about this before?
Speaker 1: What does your advice? Have a good day. Let me
Speaker 1: go back to this. This comes from Patrick and it
Speaker 1: says Patrick's from Virginia and his question is, how do
Speaker 1: you know God is talking to you? Because I'm trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what to do with my life and
Speaker 1: I have no clue what to do. I'm a college
Speaker 1: student taking general education. All right. First of all, Patrick,
Speaker 1: it's not You're not in a weird position. You're not alone.
Speaker 1: You're early on in college taking general ed. In my
Speaker 1: school we call it general studies, and you don't know
Speaker 1: what you want to do with life. Okay, Then that
Speaker 1: means you're normal. That means you're a normal college student.
Speaker 1: Because if any college student tells me right now, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm a freshman in college and I'm one thousand percent
Speaker 1: this is what I'm going to do this field, I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: that's rare. That's interesting that you say that, and that's rare.
Speaker 1: So Patrick, you're normal. So no worries there. I do
Speaker 1: think you don't need to ask me. How do you
Speaker 1: know God is talking to you Because you're trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what to do with your life. That's not
Speaker 1: you're over way over spiritualizing something. That's just you just
Speaker 1: need to grow up. And I don't mean that in
Speaker 1: a bad way. You just need to let some years
Speaker 1: need to go buy, some experiences need to happen to you,
Speaker 1: and you'll meet some people that you're passionate about. You'll
Speaker 1: see what they do and you'll go, Wow, I've never
Speaker 1: even knew this kind of job existed until I met
Speaker 1: so and so that was a friend of so and so,
Speaker 1: and then I saw what they did, and it's a
Speaker 1: really cool thing, and it's a really cool job, and
Speaker 1: that interests me, and I can get that kind of
Speaker 1: I could pursue that kind of degree. And like those
Speaker 1: are things, it just happened in life. It just happens.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to sit here and go, how
Speaker 1: do you know God's talking to you? So we could
Speaker 1: tell me what job to take and what major to
Speaker 1: pursue in college. Instead of worrying about how God is
Speaker 1: talking to you, I can tell you this. Did you
Speaker 1: know that God wrote a book. It's called the Bible.
Speaker 1: It's inspired Every word is inspired by God himself, through
Speaker 1: sixty six different books, through over forty different authors, through
Speaker 1: thousands of years of time. A massive redemption story that
Speaker 1: God wove like a beautiful tapestry, and through that his
Speaker 1: active word he speaks. He spoke life. He could tews
Speaker 1: to speak life, and when we read it, we could
Speaker 1: know what God is saying. That's crazy, but it also
Speaker 1: directly answers your question, how do you know that God
Speaker 1: is talking to you? I know personally when I open
Speaker 1: up my Bible. That's how I know for sure. Next question,
Speaker 1: subject CLIENTE says girl issues. Hey Granger, I am from
Speaker 1: Wyoming and I recently moved to Utah for school. I
Speaker 1: met these two awesome girls, and since I like them both,
Speaker 1: I know that sounds bad. I text both of them
Speaker 1: daily and I find myself laughing at both their text
Speaker 1: I've taken both of them on dates, and I have
Speaker 1: fun with both of them. I know it's not fair
Speaker 1: to them to keep doing this. Do you have any
Speaker 1: advice on what to do? Thanks? Question comes from Brennan
Speaker 1: from Wyoming, a new transplant to Utah dating two girls simultaneously. Brennan,
Speaker 1: you crazy man, you wild man. Okay, me and you
Speaker 1: ride in the cab of a truck. You bring this up, Pey, Granger,
Speaker 1: got a problem. I like two girls equally. I text
Speaker 1: both of them, I date both of them. We have fun,
Speaker 1: and so right now you just tell me that I'm like, Well, Brennan,
Speaker 1: so far, there's not a problem. Shocking. I know that
Speaker 1: might be shocking to some of y'all. It's not a
Speaker 1: problem until you start taking it to the next level. Now,
Speaker 1: there's no problem with a guy going out and meeting
Speaker 1: girls and engaging with them and laughing with them and
Speaker 1: learning the opposite sex. In some sense, the problem is
Speaker 1: when you start getting intimate, maybe you kiss one of them,
Speaker 1: maybe you say some things to one of them, like
Speaker 1: I really like you. I could see this going someplace.
Speaker 1: I want to be exclusive with you. I could tell
Speaker 1: you things that I can't tell other people, all the
Speaker 1: silly things that get said during infatuation moments. When that begins,
Speaker 1: that's a problem. I don't know necessarily if this has
Speaker 1: happened yet. Something tells me it hasn't yet. All you've
Speaker 1: said is you like them both, you text them both daily,
Speaker 1: you laugh at both of them, and you've taken them
Speaker 1: both on dates. What it does mean, here's what it
Speaker 1: does mean. I'm just like process of elimination from the
Speaker 1: little information that I know. What it does mean is
Speaker 1: that neither one of them are grabbing your attention enough
Speaker 1: to block out the other one, and you got to
Speaker 1: admit one of them should. Right, If you're in a
Speaker 1: situation where you like two girls at the same time,
Speaker 1: and you text both of them, and you're dating both
Speaker 1: of them, and you're wondering which one to go with
Speaker 1: the answer is always neither, because neither one of them
Speaker 1: are gaining your attention enough to block out the other one,
Speaker 1: meaning neither of them are good enough. But it could
Speaker 1: develop over time with one if you have an honest conversation.
Speaker 1: So it's gonna come down to an honest conversation whenever
Speaker 1: it starts increasing. You don't have to do it now.
Speaker 1: It's just only when this starts to get to the
Speaker 1: level of intimacy or saying saying nice little sweet things
Speaker 1: late at night on the telephone. When it gets to
Speaker 1: that point, it's like, uh, oh, I need to be
Speaker 1: completely clear and say, I'm also seeing another girl named
Speaker 1: Sarah and we're kind of we've been on a couple
Speaker 1: of dates and I text her too. I don't think
Speaker 1: that's gonna go over too well. I'm just saying. And
Speaker 1: if you think it's not going to go over too well,
Speaker 1: that's a red flag that you've gone too far. If
Speaker 1: you can confidently say I've been seeing this girl kind
Speaker 1: of going out and uh, I text her too, same
Speaker 1: as I do with you, If you could say that
Speaker 1: in some kind of situation where there's when they're like,
Speaker 1: oh cool, well, actually okay, Okay, here's I just thought
Speaker 1: of this. Here's another example. If you say that in
Speaker 1: a casual setting and they say, oh, yeah, well there's
Speaker 1: this guy named Mark. I actually have been kind of
Speaker 1: seeing this guy named Mark too and texting and so yeah,
Speaker 1: no big deal. How does that make you feel? That's
Speaker 1: a that's a good test if you're if you're like,
Speaker 1: start burning up inside, You're like, who's Mark? What do
Speaker 1: you mean Mark? That there's a problem. What if both
Speaker 1: of them did? What if does one of them? Would
Speaker 1: one of them have that effect on you and not
Speaker 1: the other one? Like if one of them was seeing
Speaker 1: Mark and messaged you about that, would you be more
Speaker 1: mad than you would with the other one? Or is
Speaker 1: it equal? Regardless? Buddy, this is just this is heading.
Speaker 1: This is heading to a very messy place. It might
Speaker 1: not be there yet, but it could be heading towards
Speaker 1: a messy situation unless right now you start opening up,
Speaker 1: or your other option is cut it off with one immediately,
Speaker 1: Like you go to the one and you say, I
Speaker 1: need to tell you that I actually started dating a
Speaker 1: girl and it's only fair to her and you that
Speaker 1: I don't text you anymore because I think it's inappropriate
Speaker 1: to be dating a girl and texting another one. It's
Speaker 1: not an easy thing, but you've kind of gotten yourself
Speaker 1: in a little bit sticky situation, and I think I
Speaker 1: just want to say again that I think generally speaking,
Speaker 1: it's not a bad idea that you got here. You
Speaker 1: just need to know where this is going. You're driving
Speaker 1: your car potentially towards a bridge that is out and
Speaker 1: so it's it's going to be time to take the detour.
Speaker 1: But you don't want to get to the point when
Speaker 1: the road to the detour is no longer available and
Speaker 1: you have to hit the bridge. Okay, so right now
Speaker 1: you see a potential problem. It's time to get old
Speaker 1: maps out here and reroute. Okay. I appreciate you guys,
Speaker 1: and if you have any edit question for me, email
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll see
Speaker 1: you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me, that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer. Email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ye Ge