WEBVTT - Coronavirus update: How can we cope with COVID-19 anxiety? 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:04.120 Hi everyone, I'm Katie Current and welcome to Next Question. 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:08.000 It's a new day for us here at Next Question, 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:10.560 as I'm sure it is for all of you. The 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:15.120 rampant spread of the coronavirus across this country, let alone 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:17.960 the rest of the world, has forced most of us 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:22.040 indoors for an unknown period of time. The level of 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:24.599 restrictions on where you can go and what you can do, 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:29.320 the closure of schools, restaurants, nightlife, the canceling of sports 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:34.479 and entertainment is largely unprecedented, but it's necessary for the 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:37.519 health and safety of this country. So if you're not 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:43.600 social distancing yet, please do. But it's a lot to 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:47.040 deal with, and I know right now it's all consuming 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:49.960 for all of us. It's what we're reading about and 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:53.000 what we're worried about. But I'd really like to help 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:57.080 to settle into this new reality and perhaps understand what 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:59.720 all of this means for us, which is why we're 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:02.320 deaty kating the rest of this season of Next Question, 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:06.760 which means four more episodes every week and perhaps even 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:11.839 more to the coronavirus pandemic. For day to day news 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.959 on this ever changing story, I do recommend you continue 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:18.039 to turn to your local government, the CDC, and the 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.920 World Health Organization for the most up to date information. 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:28.399 I'm also providing updates on my Instagram feed. As for me, well, 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.360 I'm hold up in my house, which means I might 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:35.240 sound a little different to you. Social distancing means I'm 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:38.280 not going into our usual studio and speaking into a 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:42.160 fancy microphone. Right now, I'm sitting in my home office 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:46.000 and I'm recording myself on my phone, and instead of 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:50.400 speaking to my guests in person, we're connecting over our computers. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:54.120 So bear with us, everyone, but please keep listening for 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:59.000 this critically important information. So today, my next question, how 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:05.880 do we manage this new normal and coronavirus anxiety. To 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:10.280 answer that, I called up my friend Laurie Gottlieb. Laurie 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:15.520 Hi by. Laurie Gottlieb is a psychotherapist with a private 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:19.320 practice in Los Angeles, but she's also a best selling author, 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:23.360 a journalist, and soon a podcaster too. But today we're 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:27.920 focused on the issue at hand, So um, let's talk 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:30.840 about why people are. You know, I think with good reason, 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.400 people are feeling a lot of anxiety. But I think 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:37.840 it's interesting that the unpredictability of all of this, Lorie, 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:43.760 is a perfect recipe for high anxiety. Can you explain that? Yeah, 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:46.440 you know, it makes sense that we have anxiety. And 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:49.120 I think there are two kinds of anxiety. There's productive 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:54.840 anxiety and there's unproductive anxiety. And productive anxiety is the 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.240 kind of anxiety that helps you to take action. So 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.359 that's why we're washing our hands all the time. That's 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.040 why we're social distancing. If we if we were in denial, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:03.959 if we said, oh, this is no big deal, we 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.839 wouldn't be protecting ourselves and other people. So that's that's 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.959 good anxiety. The kind of anxiety that gets us into 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.320 trouble is unproductive anxiety, which is when we start just 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:18.080 ruminating and we start catastrophizing and futurizing, like you know, 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.639 those thoughts of oh my god, I'm going to get 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:22.600 this and I'm going to die, or someone I love 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.160 is going to get this and they're going to die, 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:26.560 and you know, just all the stories that were kind 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.560 of spinning in our heads, and and that doesn't help 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.200 us in any way. Well, what makes us go as 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:37.120 human beings too? That dark place? I know that in therapy, 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.560 you're you know, this better than I. But sometimes people 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.720 do say to patients, what's the worst that could happen, 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:47.000 as a way for them to help kind of conquer 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:50.400 their fears. But you believe in this case, that's not 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:55.600 super helpful. I don't think that that's helpful. I think 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:57.680 that one of the things that can really help ground 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.200 us is instead of thinking about what might up and 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:02.760 in the future because it hasn't happened yet, is to 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:06.240 stay grounded in the present. So one of the things 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:09.640 that I think happens is that when something extraordinary happens, 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.160 we long for the ordinary. We want we want our 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:15.920 routines back, We want all those things that we complained about, 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:18.960 you know, when when we didn't have something, we weren't 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:21.560 in a heightened state like this. Um, we want it back, 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.240 and yet it's still right in front of us. So UM. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:26.800 I like to talk about the concept of both, and 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:32.960 which is, yes, something horrible is happening, and we can 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:38.120 also enjoy certain things like the ordinary. We can enjoy 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:41.000 the time that we're having connecting with people that we 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:44.920 normally don't really pay attention to in our daily lives. 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.359 We can enjoy cooking together. We can, you know, in 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:53.280 our own isolated family units, um, we can enjoy having 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:55.480 the time to read a book or to think our 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:59.680 own thoughts, or to um, you know, actually face time 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:03.680 with one and actually listen when you ask how are you? 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:06.320 I think one of the one of the kind of 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.920 nice things to come out of horrible experience like this 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:14.360 is that people are very kind. Kindness comes out. There's 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.760 sort of a resurgence of kindness in this world where 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:21.680 civility has been lost, and so I think that both 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:25.039 at both can exist, and if we can focus on, 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.240 you know, holding our fear and feeling our feelings, not 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:30.280 being in denial of our anxiety, and not being in 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:34.080 denial of what's going on around us, but also really 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:37.480 trying to stay present in what's happening in that moment. 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:40.760 We have so many questions. But before we get to 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:44.279 some questions from people who follow me or listen to 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:49.120 the podcast, Laurie, I'm a fairly normal person in that 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:54.000 I don't have huge anxiety, but I'm finding I'm feeling 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:57.240 a little neurotic about my health. If I have a 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.160 little bit of a sore throat when I wake up 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:02.760 in the morning, or if I cough, then I start thinking, oh, 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:06.120 my god, am I sick? And I'm sure I'm not 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:10.080 alone in that because it's part of catastrophizing. I'm sure, 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:13.720 what what is that about? How can we kind of 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:17.120 calm ourselves down? Well, I think the first step is 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.800 just realizing it that it's human nature to do that. 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.080 So I remember when I was in medical school, we 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.760 we talked about sort of medical school disease, which was 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.000 every disease that we were reading about. We all thought 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.040 we had all of a sudden we felt the symptoms 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.120 of it. You know, it's like, oh, my god, I 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:35.279 have this now because my my gland feels inflamed or whatever. 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:38.559 Um that now that we're reading all the time about 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.800 the symptoms of coronavirus, you know, it's almost like the 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:47.760 power of of uh implanting it into your suggestion. Right. So, 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.960 so I think just realized that the power of suggestion 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:53.720 is very powerful. And and so when you notice that, 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:56.479 of course be aware if you are having symptoms, but 0:06:56.640 --> 0:07:00.479 also take a breath. Um. Part of part of the 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:03.280 problem is that we're reading about and I always tell 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.240 people that, yes, you need to get daily updates, but 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.760 you don't really need more than that. I think that 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.200 the more that we're just you know, kind of it's 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:14.440 kind of like we're binge, like binge watching a television show, 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:17.080 but it's kind of like binge eating junk food. That 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.760 the more you sit there and click from this article 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:22.720 to that article to the other article, it makes you sick. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.200 It does not fill you up, It does not help you. 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.960 It actually makes you psychologically ill. How do you talk 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:32.000 to kids about this? I'm sure that a lot of parents, 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:35.880 you know, my children are older. Your son is in 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:39.280 high school now, right, he's in middle school, middle school, 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:44.320 so he's he's at home. Is he expressing concern? And 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:47.480 how do you suggest people talk to their kids about this? 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:52.520 I think that the way that we model our response 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:54.720 to this is going to impact the way that our 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:58.440 kids handle their anxiety around it. So it's kind of 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:00.480 like I think, you know, when when you're on an airplane, 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:02.840 they always say put on your oxygen mask first before 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:05.320 you put on your child. But I think it goes 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.960 beyond that. It's how does the pilot handle it when 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:12.040 there's a problem and the pilot doesn't say, oh my god, 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.240 we're all gonna die, you know, if there's something the 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:18.160 pilot says very calmly, Hey, we're gonna experience some turbulence 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.280 coming up. We want all of you to fasten your 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.680 seatbelts and please don't walk in the aisles right now. 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:25.040 And I think that's very calming. And I think that 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:27.000 for our kids, we need to say, yes, here are 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:28.800 the rules, here are the boundaries. You can't go and 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:30.920 play basketball. I say this to my kid, you can't 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:33.320 go play basketball with your friends right now because we're 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:37.160 social distancing, um, you know, and and we're gonna do 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:40.000 this instead. And and just to kind of, you know, 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:42.679 under help them understand. I think giving them a sense 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.280 of purpose to around this, which is we're not just 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.800 doing this for ourselves. We're doing this for our community. 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:51.559 We're doing this for our neighbors, for the elderly people 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.000 that we know. Um, we're doing this for people with 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:58.040 compromised immune systems. And I think that kids really engage 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:00.240 in that when they realize that it's bigger than them. 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.199 It's not just oh, this is a bummer. I'm stuck 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.240 here and I can't play with my friends, and I 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:07.359 can't do the normal things I like to do. Um. 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:11.199 There's there's something about being connected to the larger community 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:15.880 that really resonates with with tweens and teens. Well, let's 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.200 play dear therapist Lorie, because we've got so many questions 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:22.000 and I don't want to be sort of a pig 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:25.920 about just asking my own Rosanna says, how much information 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:29.040 should we deal with on an everyday basis, especially with 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:32.480 the situation changing by the hour or day. Do you 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:38.480 have any suggestions for what is a healthy media diet? Yeah? 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:41.000 I do. I think once a day is plenty. And 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.160 I think that's because we all know what we're supposed 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:47.679 to be doing, regardless of how many new cases are reported, 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:51.440 regardless of whether they're saying you can't go here, you 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:53.800 can't go that. We know we're supposed to be social isolating. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.880 We know we're supposed to be washing our hands constantly. Um, 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:00.320 we know that we're supposed to be cleaning the the 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:03.600 all the handles and um, you know, door knobs and 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:05.640 things like that in our homes and all the sort 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:08.400 of high touch surfaces. We know what we're supposed to 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:12.040 be doing. Nothing is changing in that regard. So and 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.360 we also know if you're having symptoms what you're supposed 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:18.600 to do. So there's no information that's going to happen 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.880 during the day. That's going to change the basic facts 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:22.400 of what we need to do in our lives. And 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:26.560 we really need to protect our psychological immune systems as 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.400 much as we're protecting our physical immune systems, and that 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:34.320 means not overloading ourselves with information. Here's another question. What 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:38.040 are some tools new moms or expectant moms like me, 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.880 She said, uh, can use to get through this uncertain time. 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:45.000 Bringing a new baby home is tough enough, but limiting 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.560 the village from visiting and helping will put a strain 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:52.960 on many Thanks to you. Yeah, um, you know, I 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:56.600 think that it's really important for parents to kind of 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:00.080 trade off time so that they get a break. So 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:02.200 I think that when you've got a baby and you 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.679 don't have your village around you a lot of times, um, 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:08.280 you know, you need each other as adult as a couple. 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.720 But sometimes you're gonna have to say, you know what, 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:13.880 it's your turn, and I'm going to go take a 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:16.920 bath or I need to go just um, you know, 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.600 I need to go take a walk whatever it is, 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:21.640 and and hand off to the other parents. And you 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:24.320 really have to work as a team. So I think 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:26.319 that's really important, you know, if you're living in a 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:30.199 multigenerational household and you have, um, you know, other people 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.839 to help, that's great. I think it's also important that 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:35.520 you you connect again for your own mental health, that 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.800 you connect with your friends through technology and you take 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:40.559 some breaks and you laugh about how hard it is, 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.760 and you laugh about the dirty diapers, and you laugh 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:44.760 about the naps that are not being taken and all 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.360 of those things because you need someone to vent too. Yeah, definitely, 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.959 and laughter is really helpful. Here's a question, j P. 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.679 As I'm an addict in recovery, are twelve step groups 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:58.720 and meetings are shutting down. What is the best advice 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:02.800 to stay out of your monkey and stay connected even 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:07.120 at a time of much needed social distancing. So if 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:09.880 you have a sponsor that you can connect with virtually, 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.120 that would be really helpful. If you have other people 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:15.800 from that you know, from the group that you can 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:18.160 connect with, that would be helpful. There are also so 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:23.600 many online resources, um that you can listen to podcasts, um. 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:26.920 You know, uh M. I was gonna say, there's groups 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.680 online where you can you know, write in real time 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:32.480 and connect like that. So I would really search the internet. 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.600 I think the internet is our friend right now, not 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.559 in a sense of getting an overload of COVID information, 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:39.520 but in a sense of how we can get creative 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:41.800 around connecting with other people when we need it most. 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:46.880 Vivian says, how can I stop obsessing and stockpiling groceries? 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:50.600 I think that's such an interesting sort of primitive instinct. 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:55.120 People are going and kind of sometimes hoarding food. They're 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:57.840 so worried that the grocery stores are going to close 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:00.400 and that they're going to starve to death. You saw 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:05.160 that with the toilet paper shortage. It's fascinating thing to 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:10.680 observe just from a human behavior standpoint. Um, what advice 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.080 could you give Vivian and other people who are feeling 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:18.760 that way. There's a difference between being prepared and obsessing, 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:23.360 and that line is going to shift the more that 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.000 you kind of think about, oh, what's going to happen 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.960 in the future. I think being prepared means that, yeah, 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:32.200 you have some provisions in the house, and you you know, 0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:34.320 you you have things that that you're going to need. 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.559 But you know, when you start getting to the point 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.120 where you've already gotten the provisions and you think, oh, 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.000 I need more, and then I need more and then 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.880 I need more. Um, that's when you need to step 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.680 back and say, you know what, I am prepared. I 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.040 will be able to get more later. But I have enough. 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.280 I've done my preparations and I've done what the recommendations are. 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:55.600 And then you really have to let go. And that's 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.000 again we're staying in the present. Helps where instead of 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.200 thinking about, um, you know, do I have enough, and 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.960 and you know, spending your emotional real estate on that, 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:07.920 do something else. And I know that sounds like I'm 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:10.760 trivializing this, but I'm not. Um, you know, go do 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.520 a puzzle, Go get those art those art supplies out, 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:15.480 Go read a book, Go take a walk, Go call 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:18.280 a friend. You have to take breaks, you have to 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.840 let go, and you have to stay active. I think, 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:25.920 even though you know the whole it seems anathetical with 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.840 the idea of staying home. There ways to stay active 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:32.160 at home. Clean out your closet, get rid of all 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.600 the clothes or put them aside that you can give 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:37.920 for dress to dress for success or to the goodwill. 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:40.160 You know, it is a good time to do some 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:44.080 serious spring cleaning, open the windows and and you know, 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.640 get the winter winter out of your house and out 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.360 of your things and maybe downsize a little bit. Andy asked, 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.080 I have a friend who suffers from anxiety. This is 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.120 kind of an obvious question, but it's a good one. 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.440 How can I best support them during this time? How 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:03.080 can you support people who you know? What can you 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.520 do for them? One of the things that happens with 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:10.600 anxiety is logic doesn't help. So you can't really talk 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:13.400 somebody out of their anxiety and try to tell them 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.040 that things are going to be okay. What you can 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.640 do is you can connect with them, and that's that 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:22.400 naturally sues people. So why don't you say, hey, let's 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:26.400 do let's have a virtual dinner together. Um, hey, let's 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:30.160 watch a movie together virtually? Um, you know what, whatever 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.280 it is that you can do. Um. You know some 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:37.120 people are exercising together and virtually, which is fun, so, 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.440 you know, and just moving your body helps so much 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.480 with anxiety. So if you can somehow get your friend to, 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:46.040 you know, move around, and you can do it with 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:49.560 that person virtually. You can support the person through actions, 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:52.760 as opposed to your words will not really help them, 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.640 but your actions will avas how to focus on work 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:01.320 while acknowledging that we're all scared. No, I think you 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:05.560 and I know that when you are worried or stressed out, 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:09.800 it's hard to concentrate. Actually, I know that from when 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:13.280 my husband was sick. I would read the same paragraph 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.760 over and over again in a book and I could not, 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:20.120 for the life of me, concentrate. So how can you 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.480 How can you fight that? Is there anything you can do? 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.680 I guess reducing the stress will help you concentrate more. 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.720 There's also something you can do with your body, which 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:32.240 is that sometimes when we kind of leave the present, 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.200 we need to physically ground ourselves. So what you do 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:37.640 is you close your eyes, and you start with your 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:40.000 feet and you say, I feel my feet on the floor, 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:42.680 and you feel them, and then you move up and 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:45.320 you say, okay, I feel put your knees together. I 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.840 feel my knees, and you move up and you just 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.520 keep and you feel your breath and you feel your diaphragm, 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.400 and you feel the different parts of your body and 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.200 it brings you back to the present moment and you 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.720 take some breaths, and then you move on with your work. 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.240 Kristen wants to know how do you cope with the 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.520 idea that we don't know how if when this is 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:06.760 going to end. I think that's in addition to the 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:12.000 unpredictability of this, This kind of not knowing when life 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:16.920 will resume, I think adds to people's stress levels. Right, 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.080 I mean not just am I going to get this 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:21.879 and what's going to happen? But how long is this 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.399 going to have to be the new normal? So how 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:27.520 do you cope with that? I think we have to 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:31.800 acknowledge that humans don't do well with uncertainty, and so 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:35.400 this is a good opportunity for us to build up 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:39.439 some resilience around uncertainty, which means that we just instead 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:41.560 of trying to figure it out. You know, this news 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:45.000 report says that, or this physician says that, to just 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:48.000 say we don't know, and to try to get comfortable 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:49.840 with that and say, what can I do in the 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:54.280 meantime to have as normal of a routine that I 0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:58.520 can possibly have under these circumstances. You know, I don't 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.200 want to let you go before asking you if someone 0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:06.320 is having real trouble, you know, if the anxiety reaches 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:11.080 a point where it's untenable or it's affecting someone's physical 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:15.800 health health, Um, you know, I I don't want to 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:19.959 trivialize the seriousness of this. So what can people do 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:23.159 if they really feel there at the breaking their breaking point, Laurie, 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:27.639 They should absolutely reach out to a therapist. And so 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:33.720 many therapists are doing online sessions specifically right now for this, 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.040 and they should reach out. And this is not a 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:39.760 time for shame or stigma or you know, oh my 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:44.360 problems aren't that bad minimizing our problems. Um, everybody else 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:46.240 is going through this, So why why why should I 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:47.800 get help? You know, all those things we say to 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:50.280 ourselves that prevent us from reaching out. This is a 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.800 time to say, I need to prioritize my emotional health 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:57.400 just as I'm prioritizing my physical health. And if you 0:18:57.560 --> 0:18:59.359 need to talk to someone, you do not need to 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.480 be in a christ is. You can just be having 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:05.960 a moment. You can be feeling kind of free floating anxiety, depression, 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.399 whatever it is, or you just want to connect with 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.639 someone because you feel like preventively to kind of preserve 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:15.160 your emotional health. Please please please reach out. You can 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:17.080 find you can do a quick Google search and you 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:22.919 will find somebody who is available to do that for you. Well, 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:26.879 Lourie stays safe and call me and maybe we'll have 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:30.000 a virtual glass of wine together a cup of tea. 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:32.520 I don't want to encourage people to drink during this time, 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.040 but a glass of wine isn't going to hurt, right, 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:39.600 That's right, that's right. Thank you so much, Katie. Okay, bye, Laurie, 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:45.240 all right, take care or stay safe. Laurie gott Lee's 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:47.919 latest book is called Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:52.639 She's also coming out with a podcast called Appropriately Dear Therapist, 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:56.560 co hosted Buy Another Therapist, Guy Wench. It's due to 0:19:56.600 --> 0:20:00.439 come out from my Heart hopefully this summer. You know, 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.320 I really like what Laurie said earlier about how kindness 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:06.920 tends to emerge out of times of crisis. People are 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.080 kinder to one another, they want to help, And I'd 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:13.200 like to know the large or small ways you're seeing 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:17.159 kindness or promoting it in your own community. If you 0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:20.080 want to share your story, please call and leave your 0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:23.240 name and a detailed message for us at Next Question. 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:27.520 The number is eight four four four seven nine seven 0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:31.680 eight eight three. That number once again is eight four 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:36.760 four four seven nine seven eight eight three. You can 0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:39.800 also email me a voice memo or a written note 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:44.040 at info at Katie currect dot com. Just put next 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:48.200 question kindness in the subject line and you might hear 0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:52.520 your story right here. On next question coming up, we're 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:54.520 going to be checking in with the doctor who's a 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:57.040 friend of mine and one of the smartest people I know, 0:20:57.520 --> 0:21:00.400 to get a better sense of how the coronavis irs 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:20.720 affects our bodies and also our health care system. Dr 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:24.480 Peter Atilla is a Stanford and Johns Hopkins trained physician 0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:29.480 living in San Diego. His clinical focus has been on longevity, 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:33.160 how to live better and longer, but since the outbreak 0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:38.280 of coronavirus or COVID nineteen, he shifted gears, focusing his 0:21:38.400 --> 0:21:42.600 research towards understanding the current situation, what we can do 0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:47.879 to protect ourselves, and potentially the implication of what's to come. 0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:51.320 And now he's here to share some of that with us. 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:57.199 So where are we now understanding? This story seems to 0:21:57.359 --> 0:22:01.360 change on an hourly, if not minute I minute basis. 0:22:01.760 --> 0:22:04.679 If you had to assess the situation right now for 0:22:04.760 --> 0:22:07.959 our listeners, what would you say, Well, you know, I 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:12.159 think of these things through the lens of um. Is 0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:15.879 the rate at which we are seeing infections growing or shrinking? 0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:17.960 So you can think of being on one side or 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:20.240 another of that peak. So, for example, if we look 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:23.919 at mainland China, we know that they're now on the 0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:27.840 tail end of this response. Again, there's always possibilities that 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:31.119 there's another outbreak as they go back to work and 0:22:31.160 --> 0:22:35.000 begin to mobilize society again. But notwithstanding that, it's clear 0:22:35.080 --> 0:22:38.560