1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: My boyfriend says I'm financially irresponsible, but makes me pay 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:05,199 Speaker 1: for everything. 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, be responsible, pay for me. 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: I twenty nine female, have been with my boyfriend twenty 5 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: seven mail for one point five years, and we're discussing 6 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: finances and living together. I'm not the most financially literate, 7 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: but I don't think I overspend or live beyond my means. 8 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: I live with my family, who don't charge rent, though 9 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: I help with groceries and other things. I've been trying 10 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: to build my savings, hoping to buy a house soon. 11 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: I've never been in debt in my credit card score 12 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: is decent. By the way, this comes from Princess Archer 13 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay storytime, so I've read it. 14 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: So when we first met, it was more care free, 15 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 1: with spending vacations, shopping, meals out. I was still saving, 16 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: but in smaller amounts. My boyfriend pointed out early on 17 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 1: that I spent too much, but as we became more serious, 18 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: I cut back. Now I rarely go out and primarily 19 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: spend money on dates. Wait, so your boyfriend's like, hey, 20 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: don't do stuff for you do stuff for me that 21 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: it's great spending If you do stuff for you, bat 22 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: back terrible for me. 23 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: Good babe. This PS five is going to fix our relationship. 24 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called investing in the relationship. It will have 25 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: returns and at least two smooches from yours. Truly, So 26 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: I do brunch with the girls once every half months. 27 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: Otherwise friends social time is done on walks or at houses. 28 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: Despite this, I've had some setbacks like car repairs needed 29 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: for my commute, which have made saving harder. So she's 30 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: gone from going spending like vacation money and all that 31 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 1: to just brunch with friend every half month. My boyfriend 32 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 1: still says I don't save properly and brings up my 33 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 1: vacations as evidence I'm not serious about saving for a house. 34 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: What are you contributing? Yeah, boyfriend, buddy, what bread you 35 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,960 Speaker 1: bring in? Or you just toasting bread? You just burnen bread. 36 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 2: He just wants her buns. 37 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: He wants those buns toasty, spread his little jelly on 38 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: it discussed. Uh huh, you gotta pay for that. No gooning, 39 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,279 Speaker 1: no gooning, No gooning. Here we edge, here we edge 40 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: and never goon never stop edging, never stop edging. Always 41 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: be on the edge of your seat while edging, which 42 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: is what I'm doing right now yourself. We discussed buying 43 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: John I have a girlfriend, Fry. We discussed buying a 44 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,519 Speaker 1: house earlier this year, and I decided to start saving seriously. 45 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: But I had a few vacations planned. One was a 46 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: cheap trip came to less than a thousand dollars total, 47 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: which I booked with my best friend whilst my boyfriend 48 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: and I were broken up. Whilst whilst a little little 49 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: uh break break vacation. 50 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 2: That's new information. 51 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: What was happening on this break. 52 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 2: Well, I didn't even think about that. 53 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, Also what is the gender of this friend? Not 54 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: not not saying anything is going to happen, but it 55 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: sounds like you are but it could, but it could 56 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: really quick. Like before we keep going. I am not 57 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:47,519 Speaker 1: confident in this relationship so far, I have a lot 58 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:48,119 Speaker 1: of confidence. 59 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 2: Oh, this is a terrible relationship. 60 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: There we go. So even after we got back together, 61 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: I went on it as I knew I'd not be 62 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,079 Speaker 1: going on any more friend trips for the seeable future. 63 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: Oh you know, you love a relationship where you're just 64 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: gonna get pinned down, and not in the sexy way 65 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: it's gonna be. It's gonna be caged, not in the 66 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: sexy way, handcuffed not in the sexy way, to your partner, 67 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: and not allowed to do anything, not in the sexy way. 68 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,359 Speaker 1: The second it was with the boyfriend, an expensive trip 69 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,679 Speaker 1: he wanted to go on and I ultimately chose to 70 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: join him on. We split flights and hotels fifty fifty, 71 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: and whilst on the trip, he covered the majority of 72 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: the big spuds. Okay, maybe stepping up to the plate, 73 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: butnd in that bread. I took out of my savings 74 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,679 Speaker 1: for this trip, but as our first together, I decided 75 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: it was worth it. It was indeed a once in 76 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: a lifetime trip. The third is a family vacation for 77 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: my milestone birthday. What's that milestone? 78 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,839 Speaker 3: I guess thirty like nine twenty four, I'm turning twenty four? 79 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,119 Speaker 1: What so on? 80 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 3: Like February twenty fourth of twenty twenty four, I turned 81 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 3: twenty four. 82 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 4: That's like, oh, that's a milestone birth Yeah, it matches 83 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 4: with your I believe I had that. I was born 84 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 4: on September. Last year was September I was. My birthday 85 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 4: was September twenty third, twenty twenty three, turning twenty three. 86 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: Whoa find a year, and the year has been great. 87 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: I mean, look at me, he's glowing. 88 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 2: Milestones, he's glowing. 89 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: I thought it was because op is twenty nine and 90 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: turning thirty, and that's like a milestone which my family 91 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: will be covering my cost for as a gift, and 92 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: all I need to bring is spending money for when 93 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: we're there. That's great, that sounds awesome. Yes, hopefully the 94 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: boyfriend doesn't ruin it. Well, guess what he says, I 95 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: could give up the family trip, but I say, it's 96 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,799 Speaker 1: a gift for my birthday. Well, he offered to treat 97 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: me to a birthday weekend instead and do the family 98 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: vacation next year. But to me, it's no longer a 99 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,279 Speaker 1: birthday trip anymore. I already turned down another family vacation 100 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: this year. So he's like, oh, you know, stop hanging 101 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 1: out with your friends, stop hanging out with your. 102 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 2: Family, stop spending your own money. 103 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 1: Yeah you know. This doesn't sound controlling at all. No, 104 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like he's trying to manipulate you into 105 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: him being your only lifeline of emotional support. Not at all. Zero, 106 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: This is not manipulation. 107 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 2: He's so perfect. What could go wrong? Oh? 108 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: Is it? Wednesday. It's opposite day. All the things I 109 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: just said, we're reverse. It is manipulation. Fools down, Ope, 110 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 1: get out. What's kidding to me is that he owes 111 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: me small amounts of money for things that he then 112 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: tells me later he won't pay for with logical reasons. 113 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: Let's hear some of these logical reasons, John, And for 114 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: each reason you tell me logical or illogical, let's do it. 115 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 1: On my birthday meal forty dollars. He forgot his wallet 116 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: in the car, so I paid. He said he'd pay 117 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: me back in front of the waitress, but later said 118 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: he wouldn't as he paid for the birthday activity. And 119 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: I was the one who said I wanted dinner too, 120 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: so dinner was on me for my own birthday. All right, John, 121 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: logical or illogical? 122 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,039 Speaker 3: This is quadruple illogical because he said he would pay 123 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 3: for it, and he's the reason. 124 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 2: Why she's paying for it. Yeah, what are we talking about. 125 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: I went on a date in New York. It was 126 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: a great date. This is just a minor thing. And 127 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: she conveniently forgot her card and she's like, oh, I 128 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: would have paid, but I conveniently forgot my card. Come on, 129 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: come on, I see through it. 130 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,919 Speaker 3: See now, your profile is so large, profile is so 131 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 3: large that people are like, hey, hey, he's got he 132 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 3: can pay for it. 133 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 1: Podcast host podcast hosts, you take that? We all know 134 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: they make the most money. Oh yeah, more than the 135 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: finance bros. Yeah yeah, of course, ringing me out for 136 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:15,159 Speaker 1: every cent anyway, too illogical or logical? John my Ring 137 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: fifty dollars on our vacation. He really wanted to treat 138 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: me to a precious gem ring. The amount might seem small, 139 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: but it's money I would never spend on myself for jewelry. 140 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: I only agreed as he said it was a gift 141 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,720 Speaker 1: to me. When it came down to pay, his card 142 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: didn't work. He's mine. Classic trick patterns, classic trick. Oh 143 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,359 Speaker 1: oh you need money on your card for this? I 144 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: had no idea. 145 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 2: Wait a second, are you supposed to like put money 146 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: in a bank account? 147 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: How could you expect me to do that. I'm just 148 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: a baby, I'm just a little baby. Take care of me, mummy. Anyway, 149 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: he said he'd pay me back, John, do you think 150 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: he's going to pay him back? No, he is not 151 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 1: going to pay her back. When I mentioned this later, 152 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: he said he paid for some really expensive trips the 153 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: time of booking them. I offered to pay for a 154 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: half on them as they were pricey even though above 155 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: my budget, but once again once a lifetime experience, he 156 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: turned me down, saying he wanted to treat me. He 157 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,479 Speaker 1: later said, if I insist on being paid back for 158 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: the ring, he wants half for what he spent on 159 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: the trips away more significant amount. 160 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 3: Hey, instead of you know, if if you want me 161 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 3: to pay for this fifty dollars ring, then send me 162 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 3: back like a thousand bucks for. 163 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, go on, go on that I got for you 164 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: for you, for us, for your birthday. But everyone knows 165 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: I am going to keep track of every dollar spent 166 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: so we can be even. 167 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 2: This man is giving me a migraine. 168 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: I know he is just. 169 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 2: Reading a story. 170 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: I mean like, I'm still gonna read this, But is 171 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: anyone at all in chat being like stay with this dude. Literally, 172 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like either of them have chicken money. No, 173 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: but they're spending like they got chicken money. Or he's 174 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: spending like he has chicken money, yes, and then expecting 175 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: Ope to give the chicken money that she doesn't have. 176 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: And then being mad at her that she's not saving well, the. 177 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: Exactly the one spending her money and also forcing her 178 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: to spend more and like like like, he's basically like 179 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 1: like lulling her into safety, saying, Oh, don't worry, babe, 180 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pay for it. She's like, Okay, he's gotta 181 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: pay for it. Then I guess I could go on 182 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: this trip. Psych rug pulled bam, done all right? Well, 183 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: three concert tickets about sixty five dollars. I bought them 184 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: as a surprise for a date night, but he said 185 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: he wouldn't enjoy them himself, so his mom offered to 186 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: buy them off me. She said she'd pay me back. 187 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: Let's see if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 188 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 1: But I said she could give it to him, and 189 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,559 Speaker 1: he will. He never did. Oh, so the mom did 190 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: give it, did give it to Opie's boyfriend, and Opie's 191 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: boyfriend did not give it to Opie anyway. He never did, 192 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,959 Speaker 1: first saying later, and then later when ages had passed, 193 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 1: citing all the money he had spent on dates, food, 194 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: et cetera for me and saying all that costs way 195 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: more than those tickets, and then finally number four only 196 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: about twenty five bucks. I was going to buy about 197 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 1: five dollars worth of ingredients to cook dinner, but he 198 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: said to get takeout and he'll pay me back. He 199 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: still hasn't, and when I brought it up, he said 200 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: he pays for most of the food anyway. He bought 201 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: us both food two times, and that costs more than 202 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: the food I got, So it bounces out that don't 203 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: say you're gonna pay for it. He also insists on 204 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty split of future expenses, though he 205 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: earns double what I do. He says he won't do 206 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: a proportional split because of trust issues from a past relationship. 207 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: He did a proportional split with her and she cheated 208 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: on him, and he hates how he wasted so much 209 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: on her that he could have saved. I say he 210 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,679 Speaker 1: can't assume I will do the same, but he says 211 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: he can and he's learned his lesson. Oh God, not 212 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: only is he going fifty to fifty, but he's also 213 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: going and saying, you're gonna cheat on me. But I 214 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 1: still want to stay together. But I know you're gonna 215 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 1: cheat on me. 216 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 2: Babe. 217 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 3: We'll split fifty to fifty, but I'll project one hundred 218 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 3: percent onto you. 219 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 1: There's a hundred percent dude. This guy is hurts, sucks, 220 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: He sucks. He needs therapy, he needs love. 221 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 2: He needs a job. 222 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: He needs he needs a breaking job that pays more 223 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: than what it's paying. 224 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 2: He needs to love making money. 225 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So lately he said he no longer wants 226 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: to spend money on me, claiming I don't do the 227 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: same for him, even though I spend most of my 228 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: disposable income on us. For example, I suggested a date recently, 229 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 1: but he turned it down as it would be expensive. 230 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 2: They should really trim their budget down. I think, you know, 231 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 2: really just kind of like rip out a bunch of. 232 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: And let me say when it grows back in, it's 233 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 1: so bad. Yeah, it's so bad. He suggested. I find 234 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: something else. I found an aquarium, which is way cheaper 235 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: than the original suggestion. First he said okay, then after 236 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: an argument about finances, said I could buy my own ticket. 237 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,839 Speaker 1: I can't afford to, not due to lack of money, 238 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: but just careful budgeting, because op, he's trying to get 239 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: better at all of our stuff, and said, in that case, 240 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: we go another time when it was within my budget. 241 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: He just got upset, saying I'm using him to have 242 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: fun experiences. That is laughably untrue, as I'd been saving 243 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: way more if I was single, as I would be 244 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: paying for food or dates or fuel to go see him. 245 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: Sure it's nice to be treated to fund dates and 246 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: fancy meals, but if I want to do those things, 247 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: I can do it with Fred way less often, for sure, 248 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: due to my smaller budget, but not never. I feel 249 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:08,319 Speaker 1: like he's manipulating me financially. Got him on the nose, 250 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: baby girl. I acknowledge I've spent on vacations and don't 251 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: have his financial experience. He's wealthier and has lived on 252 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,839 Speaker 1: his own since eighteen and now temporarily is back home. 253 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: But paying rent, I mean, how wealthy could he be? 254 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 1: When you say wealthy, I mean how wealthy could he 255 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: be if he's saying he's going to pay for stuff 256 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: and not when I was away at college and I 257 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: don't pay rent. He also comments on this, by the way, 258 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: saying I should just pay rent out of respect, but 259 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: I ignore this as we just have different family dynamics. My 260 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: family would never allow me to pay rent. My dad 261 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: sneaks fifty dollars into my account sometimes if he thinks 262 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: I've spent too much on groceries for us. However, I 263 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: feel like I'm doing the best to save while still 264 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: enjoying life within reason. So am I being unresponsible or 265 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: is he being manipulative? Reddit advice please there is a 266 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: little bit more to this story. But by the way, 267 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: you can join his live every weekday on YouTube three 268 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 1: pm PST Just Tapper profile. But before we finish out 269 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 1: this story, do you think ope is being unreasonable? 270 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 2: Listen, there's a lot of people out there who let 271 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 2: all of these like you know, miscellaneous expenses grow when 272 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 2: they don't they don't need to be there, right, we 273 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 2: need to rip all those out. Well, guess what. 274 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 3: OPI has already ripped out all of the extraneous expenses, right. 275 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 3: It is a This is a clean, smooth, shiny budget. Okay, 276 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 3: they're like, OPI has only paid one thousand dollars for 277 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 3: this big vacation. That is very smart, fifty dollars for 278 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,320 Speaker 3: the ring that is very smart. Op is on top 279 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 3: of it. She has completely ripped out all of the 280 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 3: unnecessary expenses. 281 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,320 Speaker 2: Now it's time to eat out at home. 282 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 3: Because she's already budgeted really well, and he's controlling current 283 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 3: being meanificully, and that's all I need to say. 284 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,199 Speaker 1: That John couldn't have put it better myself exactly, That's 285 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And the matter of fairness, his trust 286 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,559 Speaker 1: issues due to his ax also extend to me, as 287 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: I lied about and hid some pretty big things from him, 288 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,559 Speaker 1: not money related. We broke up as he was understandably 289 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,319 Speaker 1: devastated by them, but have since got back together as 290 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: love and friendship is there provided I work hard to 291 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: prove I'm a changed person. I think this explains his 292 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 1: mindset a lot too, so it's only fair to include 293 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: I've definitely made his trust issues worse, and I'm far 294 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 1: from a perfect victim or anything like that. What did 295 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: you do? I want to know? 296 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, that kind of just spoiled the whole. 297 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 1: Now it's like I don't know what to believe. 298 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they deleted their account. 299 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 4: Oh oh oh my god. 300 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 2: We were really thrown for a looprown for a loop? 301 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,319 Speaker 1: Wow? Wait wait, let's. 302 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 4: Say a tight circle last a clean, tight circle, clean 303 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,319 Speaker 4: tight circle. 304 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: I mean it's anything but clean, dirty, dirty it up. 305 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,839 Speaker 1: It's like you only do one rip and then give 306 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 1: up after exactly. 307 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,559 Speaker 2: This makes so much sense, now, does it makes sense. 308 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: I did. I actually I have trimmed. I have trimmed. 309 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 2: He has trimmed. 310 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I did. I think it was I think it 311 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: was appreciated in New York. 312 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,640 Speaker 2: Know, that's what happened to New York. Give us one 313 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 2: hit a story of one okay story. 314 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: Okay, first New York dating. New York dating compared to 315 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,960 Speaker 1: LA is a completely different bone game. And how so 316 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: there are so many people in New York. The density 317 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: of New York is unrivaled. So like you know, in LA, 318 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: when I'm here, I maybe get like one or two 319 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: matches a day. Right in New York, it was like 320 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: dad to day and everyone was willing to meet. And 321 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: apparently there are more women than men in New York. 322 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 2: I've heard that too. 323 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 1: And also I think the women there are just like 324 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: more direct and like this is what I want, and 325 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: like come over here, and like they're making their own 326 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: money and they're not like really like they're like powerful women. 327 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, well just just take some hot waxes, have. 328 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: It around and just rip your heart out. And so 329 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: I had fun in New York and I went on 330 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: a date and I got reverse catfished. She was so 331 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: much cuter in person than her photos. Interesting move, and 332 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: she kind of like had those like runway model looks 333 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: where you know, like a runway models like beautiful but 334 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: kind of scary sometimes Yeah. 335 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 2: A thousand percent, yes, I know exactly. 336 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 3: She kind of looks like that you're like dressed in 337 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 3: like a like a demon trash bag. 338 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: And you're like, yeah, like she was so cute. 339 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 3: When you're dressed like a human and like whatever, it's like, oh, 340 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 3: you're beautiful, but they've turned you into a monster. 341 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, but like she's like like a monster that it 342 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: would gladly let rip an rips in my body. But 343 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: we had a lovely date, and I think New York 344 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: just makes like for amazing dates because we went to 345 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: this one like really cool bar called the Portrait Bar. 346 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: It was really swinky. I had to get reservations before 347 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: she came in looking really cute, and she kind of 348 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 1: had this like hot New York girl like uninterested vibe initially, 349 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: and I was I'm just like my like goofy, golden retrieverself, 350 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: and she was like, like I would say a dad 351 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 1: joke and she's like, hah, that's funny, like really aggressively, 352 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,480 Speaker 1: and then like midway through she's like, all right, that's funny, 353 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: and then like a third time she kind of laughed 354 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: like my goofyness is waiting room. We're breaking here, We're 355 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: breaking her. And like after that, we like we just 356 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: started walking around the city. We went to the Museum 357 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 1: of Set and got called facials. It's like there their shot, 358 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 1: but they're in dicks and so you have to syringe 359 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: them and we like syringed them into our mouths, and 360 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: then like we started talking about orgasms because the lady 361 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: at the set shop was telling us about these new 362 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: suction devices that they have on all the all the 363 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: new sex toys, and so she was showing like us 364 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: that I'm like, oh, have you ever used one of 365 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 1: these before? And she was like no, but my friend has. 366 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: We started talking what an aale? 367 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 2: You dude? 368 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: Honestly, it was pretty great. And then we went to 369 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: the back did the facials had these like these dick 370 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: shots that were in the shape of dicks, and like 371 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: there were syringes and then I'm like, hey, let's take 372 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: this to shake shack, suck up the shake and then 373 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: put it's like shoot it into each other's mouths. And 374 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 1: we did that, and then we went to. 375 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 2: Sale was craying at all. He wasn't trying to cess out, like, Okay, 376 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 2: let's see. 377 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: She was pretty cool. She was pretty cool. And then 378 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: she was good at it. She she was great at it. 379 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: She was good. I was better, but she was great. 380 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: But then we went to uh like CVS and I 381 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 1: got her a balloon of her choosing. I got her 382 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: a little We actually have this cute little I'll show you, 383 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 1: not the audience, you have a cute little picture of 384 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: in the CVS. Here we go, that's her with her flamingo. 385 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,159 Speaker 2: There we go wearing the Oh no, I thought she 386 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 2: was wearing like the tiny sunglasses. 387 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,199 Speaker 1: No no, no, but she would no, no, no, but yeah, and 388 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 1: then we went to oh, this was actually really cute. 389 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: So the day was going well, and so I was 390 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 1: kind of texting Cam who he's been on the show. 391 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 1: I was like, hey, it's going well, Like we might 392 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 1: go back to your staying at Cam's and he's like, dude, 393 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: do you want me to like set up the roof 394 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, not the roof and no. 395 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 3: Returns. 396 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 1: We go up to the roof and he sets up 397 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 1: a tablecloth from the table, a freaking candle, a speaker, 398 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: some like magazines and two wine glasses. 399 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 2: Bro guys like, literally, the homie. 400 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:59,160 Speaker 1: Cam is the best. Literally is awesome, and so yeah, 401 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: we to wrap the the roof was amazing. 402 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, did you jog run you know any type of. 403 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 1: There was a suggestion to run on the roof. There 404 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: was a suggestion. But I liked her a lot, so 405 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: I was like, I think we should like puld Off, 406 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: and so we did. 407 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 2: We got a walk before we run. 408 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: We got to walk before we run exactly exactly. I 409 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 1: didn't want to move too fast. And then we went 410 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,120 Speaker 1: on a second day the next day and then maybe 411 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: I'll see he soon. 412 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 3: Guys, this is some prime time okay, story times right here, 413 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, you got. 414 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 2: More for us than the later. 415 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,880 Speaker 1: We had a lot of fun. It was a super 416 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: fun date. I think, like also, competition in New York 417 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: is like very low because everyone's a boring finance guy 418 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 1: and so if you're just like a little bit different, 419 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 1: I think people really like that. 420 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 2: That's real crazy. That's what my buddy kids said, because 421 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 2: he lived there for a while. Yeah, dude, interesting. 422 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 3: I always thought in New York, Oh, there's like all 423 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 3: different kinds of but problems especially if you're in Manhattan. 424 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 1: I'm it rises. I think it rises, like that's what 425 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: rises to the top is like the boring finance guy 426 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: and so like if you're like a hell of goofy 427 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: gold retriever podcast host, kind of a win breaking through 428 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: like a win kind of a win. Yeah, so would 429 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: be a good title for this. Oh, good title, I think, 430 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: like how I started, Like the New York dating scene 431 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: is so much crazier than the LA dating scene. And 432 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: I'll tell you about my date there, there we go. 433 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,439 Speaker 1: What about reverse catfish? Oh? I got reverse catfished in 434 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 1: New York when I went on a hinge date. But 435 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: it kind of went well. 436 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:24,959 Speaker 2: Boom, we got them. 437 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 3: All right? 438 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 2: Are we ready to rip off this next story? 439 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: That so much? 440 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 2: Let's do it. Don't give me information I can use, 441 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:34,120 Speaker 2: all right,