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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I came home orally to surprise my wife,

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Speaker 1: but I instead I was surprised to see her coworker there.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it was a work beating.

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Speaker 1: Oh they were working all right, they were grinding real hard. Oo.

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Speaker 1: Recently I learned the term monkey branching, and I can't

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Speaker 1: tell of what happened last night. Is my spouse doing

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Speaker 1: some form of this? My past drama is certainly clouding

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Speaker 1: my judgments, so I need some help. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from.

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Speaker 3: Wait, sorry, read that, read the I just have a

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Speaker 3: question after you.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Make my Week Better.

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Speaker 1: And if you want to send any own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to our sish Okay Storytime subridit. We're zoom pause.

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Speaker 3: What is monkey branching?

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Speaker 1: Riley? What is monkey branching?

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Speaker 4: Monkey branching is a form of.

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Speaker 1: It's a four.

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Speaker 4: Monkey branching is just like really cool thing. Yes, So

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Speaker 4: it refers to a dating behavior where someone actively seeks

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Speaker 4: out and pursues potential new partners while still in a current.

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Speaker 1: Relationship swing into the next thing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, sort of like if someone has a roster, like

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Speaker 4: if like they're like, they're like seeing someone, but they're like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I could also see someone else.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's true, dude. I'm feeling a little

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Speaker 1: bit of some some calling out energy, some some shrapnel,

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Speaker 1: and if we're true.

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Speaker 3: It wouldn't apply to me anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, come on now, some backgrounds. Partner thirty two females

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Speaker 1: and I thirty six male, have been together for just

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Speaker 1: over eight years, married with one child. Mostly a very

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Speaker 1: love filled relationship. We had our disagreements, but they always

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Speaker 1: ended in some form of care and compassion and compromise

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Speaker 1: or resolution. We love to see it. Both independent, educated,

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Speaker 1: uh swap between working working and being a stay at

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Speaker 1: home parent. We both full time careers in the medical field,

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Speaker 1: and each our own side business that we run from home.

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Speaker 1: I have no reason to distrust her. This is where's

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Speaker 1: the problem.

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Speaker 3: There's no problem. They're just they're just monkeys enjoying the

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Speaker 3: jungle right now.

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Speaker 1: I can't see it.

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Speaker 3: I don't, but I fear there may be a tiger,

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Speaker 3: oh lying in wait. To eat these monkeys. Jaguar beat

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Speaker 3: the mountain or yeah, maybe a jaguar jaguar.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it as well as Sam because it

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Speaker 1: really loud, like a real tiger. I feel like I

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Speaker 1: decided like a small tiger. Yeah yeah, yeah. Cat. Recent past,

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Speaker 1: during pregnancy and after our first child, we had some

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Speaker 1: major disagreements and had an enormous loss of trust and

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Speaker 1: communication between us. She was later diagnosed with postpartum depression

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Speaker 1: and do you know PPA postpartum partum? We know postpartum depression, anxiety, anxiety.

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Speaker 1: I'm just guessing that sounds accurate? Is that is that right? Riley?

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Speaker 1: Are we on the money? Are we?

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Speaker 4: I think close? I think it's close.

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Speaker 1: Let us let us, let us know.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I gotta know, I gotta know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, ye, he's back, He's and gentleman's the greatest producer. Sorry.

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Speaker 4: D PPD stands for postpartum depression and PPA stands for

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Speaker 4: postpartum anxiety and PPP means I have to pee right now.

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Speaker 3: So I was on the money.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, future facts. And she started medication after that, and

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Speaker 1: both started and we both started marriage counseling recently. We

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Speaker 1: both have feelings of being hurts, disrespected, unheard and unloved

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Speaker 1: by the other. Both are one hundred percent valid. We

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Speaker 1: heard each other. I have doubts that she loves me

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Speaker 1: in the same deep way she used to, but I'm

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Speaker 1: willing to trust her when she tells me. I voices

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Speaker 1: to her often recently. So, Hey, we got some communication

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Speaker 1: going on. Everything seemed to be moving forward until I

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Speaker 1: came home last night. Hopefully she did not do the same.

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Speaker 1: Oh I should back up.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully she didn't do the same.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, she went on a day long hike yesterday

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Speaker 1: with some friends to go foraging. Nice.

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Speaker 4: You know what happens is forging.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what.

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Speaker 4: Knives? Whenever they forged swords and knives, they have to

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Speaker 4: beat it with a hair.

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Speaker 1: Forging, not foraging. They're looking for like Berri's.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, forging is like forging.

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Speaker 1: Forging. You're thinking, take out the a foraging brain forging.

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Speaker 1: How could they do that to a word? Guys, let's

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Speaker 1: let's all submit to Merriam Webster to get that word

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Speaker 1: changed for Riley because I I agree, I agree.

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Speaker 3: I agree, And that's a crime.

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Speaker 1: Everyone send them a letter.

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Speaker 3: Riley is working so hard and you do this and they.

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Speaker 1: Literally became a dyslexic man is the producer of a

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Speaker 1: reading show. What more, the glass ceiling.

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Speaker 2: Just give him that, okay, putting another one above him, God.

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Speaker 1: And he has to forge his way out. Golly.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So one of these people was a coworker twenty one

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Speaker 1: ishmail young kid again, they're like thirty two and thirty six.

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Speaker 1: Young kid works on the floor with her as a nurse.

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Speaker 1: It's overnight shifts, so they have a lot of time

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Speaker 1: to hang around the nursing station. I know they talk.

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Speaker 1: I know they talk on messenger. I have no problems

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Speaker 1: with my wife's having friends of any flavor. He had

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Speaker 1: come over a couple of times, I mean any flavor,

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Speaker 1: any flavor. He had come over a couple times before

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Speaker 1: before the hikes and seemed pretty shy and nervous around me.

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Speaker 1: But he's a kid. He seems super cool. A few

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, my wife had to wait for the pharmacy

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Speaker 1: to open up to pick up her pills. She ran out,

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Speaker 1: so in order to wait, they went up hiking a

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Speaker 1: mountain together after work. But when she got home, she

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Speaker 1: had forgotten to actually go get her pills and had

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Speaker 1: to make the two hour round trip drive to get

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Speaker 1: them the next day. Something didn't feel right. Something is

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Speaker 1: a foot? Yeah, definitely?

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Speaker 4: Does it take you two hours ago?

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Speaker 3: There in bag?

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Speaker 1: What were you doing foraging? Taking the long way home?

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Speaker 3: Stopping the smell of flowers?

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Speaker 1: Ooh, him stopping a smellia. Anyways, back to yesterday and

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Speaker 1: her hike with the friends and going off forging. He

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Speaker 1: the kid came by in the morning so that way

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Speaker 1: they could carpool. My lovely wife gave him a couple

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Speaker 1: of books on forging, et cetera. What is forging maniacs

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Speaker 1: over here as gifts. When he arrived, it seemed a

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Speaker 1: little bit awkward receiving them. They took off, brought our

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Speaker 1: child to the babysitter and went forging, and he left

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Speaker 1: his car at our place. When I got home from work,

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Speaker 1: I decided I want a little time to myself for

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Speaker 1: the first time in two years. I threw a sleeping

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Speaker 1: back and pad in my backpack and went out cowboy

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Speaker 1: camping on top of my favorite local peak. I texted

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Speaker 1: my wife that I wouldn't be home for tonight and

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Speaker 1: then i'd see her in the morning. Wow, that's that's

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Speaker 1: kind of random. You're just like, hey, babe, I'm just

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to the wilderness sake.

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Speaker 3: Hey, babe, I know you're not forging. I'm going to

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Speaker 3: be out communing with nature.

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Speaker 1: These people really like nature.

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Speaker 3: I it's kind of sad knowing the title, because it

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Speaker 3: feels like they're made for each other.

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Speaker 1: Does so yeah it does. She loves forging. He just

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Speaker 1: needs a night with me. Oh and they had the

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Speaker 1: perfect setup, so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she just had to go and ruin it.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, the hike and peak was awesome. Read my book,

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Speaker 1: smoked a jay with some kids having a fire on

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Speaker 1: the other lookout, and it was really fun. I felt great.

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Speaker 1: Then my sleeping pad deflated. I didn't bring a effing

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Speaker 1: patch kit, so that sucks. But it's only nine pm.

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Speaker 1: All just come down, scoot on home and go see

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Speaker 1: my wife. We had just missed being intimate the last week,

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Speaker 1: lots of hugging and touching and lead up, but timing

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Speaker 1: just didn't work out, and so instead of texting her,

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Speaker 1: I thought I'd surprise her.

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Speaker 4: Oh we missed the moons.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the golden hour. We had to wait.

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Speaker 1: The window. It's when the babbling brook tries to tries

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Speaker 1: to water down, but then the salmon create a blockade.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she didn't forage enough.

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Speaker 1: Nuts.

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Speaker 4: That we shouldn't collect enough nuts.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like, haven't found the berries yet

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Speaker 1: or something, But wow, Sophia daughter, ladies and gentlemen, that's

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Speaker 1: what you foraged for. That that is God. Tell me

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Speaker 1: that I'm wrong. I know, I'm telling you you are right.

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Speaker 1: So she had texted me earlier around seven pm that

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Speaker 1: she was back home and that by eight pm our

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Speaker 1: kid was down sleeping and she and she was back

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Speaker 1: up with all her mushrooms and ramps and stuff. Who

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Speaker 1: are these people? Are you? Oh? Man sent pictures? It

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Speaker 1: looks like an awesome day.

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Speaker 4: I know who they are. I know exactly who they are.

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Speaker 1: Like the literal people, like a story written before.

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Speaker 4: I know what type of people they are.

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Speaker 1: You know what type of swinger.

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Speaker 4: Is trolls, little little fairy woodland creatures, foraging mushrooms, always hiking.

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Speaker 1: Come on, come on, you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong.

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Speaker 1: It's like trolls in a fairy tale. Exactly. This might

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Speaker 1: be a mask. I love that for you shout out

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Speaker 1: to mask what to day that they're reading the book

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Speaker 1: that I'm reading. Oh, let's go. But I wrong out

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Speaker 1: here given free sponsors always No, I think you're right.

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Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, they definitely some like like uh fairy

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Speaker 1: tale forest creatures.

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Speaker 3: And everyone knows that fairies are non monogamous.

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Speaker 1: So honestly not surprised.

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Speaker 3: No one knows that.

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Speaker 1: Not to profile, but sorry for all you fairies out there,

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Speaker 1: but it's like common fairy culture.

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Speaker 4: Are they smurfs?

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Speaker 1: They I do not want to know what they do

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Speaker 1: that they're they're they're blue all over the place.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, nerfs are asexual. Actually, I'm pretty sure there was

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Speaker 3: a whole there was a whole thing.

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Speaker 1: About it, asexual kings and queens. Let's freaking go. AnyWho,

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Speaker 1: back to the smurfs in the story. So when I

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Speaker 1: pulled in way around nine to forty five pm, the

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Speaker 1: kid's car it was still parked in the driveway, a

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Speaker 1: bit odd that he stayed over around for the hour

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Speaker 1: it took while my wife U put our kid to bed,

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Speaker 1: and a couple hours more after that. So I came

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Speaker 1: inside and it really didn't seem like anything was off.

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Speaker 1: He was still awkward, and my wife was a bit talkative,

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Speaker 1: but she had had a great day and wanted to

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Speaker 1: talk about it and I like to hear about it.

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Speaker 1: They had a microscope out on the table with specimens around.

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Speaker 1: Oh what kind? Nothing's asmis as at all, honestly, but

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Speaker 1: I felt something deep in me. Oh, this is a

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Speaker 1: long story. I just realized that. So I was sweaty

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Speaker 1: and gross. So I excuse myself and took a shower.

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Speaker 1: Here I have probably to relay some trauma. My only

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Speaker 1: other serious adult relationship ended in betrayal when my partner,

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Speaker 1: twenty five female, fell for a much younger man, nineteen male,

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Speaker 1: a coworker who she told me I had nothing to

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Speaker 1: worry about. Come on, she felt for a nineteen year

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Speaker 1: old man. Come on, that's a child, and like, we

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Speaker 1: don't know what his age there, but he was probably

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Speaker 1: around the same age.

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Speaker 2: Like, h.

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Speaker 1: That's embarrassing. R Like, dude, imagining if if I'm a

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Speaker 1: woman imagining dating a nineteen year old guy, a nineteen

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Speaker 1: year old man, Dude, No.

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Speaker 3: I can barely I would. I don't even want a

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Speaker 3: date a twenty two year old man. I barely dated

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Speaker 3: twenty three year old man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I see it.

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Speaker 3: None of them want relationships.

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Speaker 1: It's true. They're too busy forging for none. Okay, we're

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Speaker 1: not giving up. So that's right, Riley, that's right, that's right. Okay.

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Speaker 1: She told me that he had feelings for her, but

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Speaker 1: it wasn't mutual. He wasn't her type. She preferred men

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Speaker 1: like me, tall, less flighty, and more masculine. I trusted her.

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Speaker 1: In a horrifying series of events, I would learn from

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Speaker 1: a friend that my past partner and the previous kid

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Speaker 1: were seen together and she had spent the night at

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Speaker 1: his place. I was out of town at the time.

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Speaker 1: Between the time okay, between the time I learned of

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Speaker 1: them together and the day before I was able to

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Speaker 1: come come home, she had Oh my god, she had

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Speaker 1: passed away in a car out. Oh my god, the

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Speaker 1: acts that that she did, Oh my god, that's traumatic.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I came home expecting to see answers,

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Speaker 1: seek answers for things that I had heard, only to

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Speaker 1: find out that she was gone forever. It effed me

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Speaker 1: up for years, probably permanently, which is why I am

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Speaker 1: coming to redditch strangers for advice. I don't think I

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Speaker 1: can be a good judge of my current situation because

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Speaker 1: of my past. Hits me too hard from a place

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Speaker 1: I can't understand. With all the similarities. It is just

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Speaker 1: a lot so needless to say, coming out of the shower,

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of feelings, but I kept composed.

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Speaker 1: I absolutely do not want to discourage my wife from

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Speaker 1: having friends or were enjoying hobbies with those friends, and

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Speaker 1: I trust her. When I came out to the kitchen

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Speaker 1: to eat with them and chat, his car was pulling

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Speaker 1: out of the driveway. I guess he had to get

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Speaker 1: his mom's car back by three am. Butsh freaking kid,

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Speaker 1: how is this guy twenty one and their ho old

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Speaker 1: wife is thirty two, husband is thirty six, So.

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Speaker 3: He's like experiencing this this trauma again of the wife.

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Speaker 1: Going for the younger man. Yeah, and low key dude

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Speaker 1: thirty two nine twenty one is like that's even It's

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Speaker 1: obviously bigger, but it just like feels even crazy.

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Speaker 3: Also just like, yeah, an interesting friendship vibe, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I guess like if you're stuck on

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Speaker 1: a on the night shift at the hospital.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to make friends with whoever.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's mandatory. Yeah, yeah, your buds watch

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Speaker 1: okay STORYTEP and not make friends. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: It is a statistic that nurses are the profession that

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Speaker 4: cheats the most.

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Speaker 3: Is that true or is that just a Riley statistic?

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Speaker 4: No, it's it's a true statistic.

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Speaker 1: Ley has looked this up multiple times on this show. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and from what we from what we've seen, we don't know.

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Speaker 1: Let's get the sort. Let's get a source. Yeah, read

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Speaker 1: us a sourced one my network.

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Speaker 4: You want to think chart.

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Speaker 3: Tony Spiliaco says, is OPI one of those insecure guys

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Speaker 3: who's been wronged by a previous partner and subconsciously tests

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Speaker 3: the loyalty of subsequent paramore. Is that's the feeling I

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Speaker 3: am having right now?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Possibly, possibly, but it seems like he's hesitant to

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Speaker 1: do anything by feeling. Read it and weep medical filled

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Speaker 1: Oh amen, Stillinger investigations.

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Speaker 3: I do not trust that website.

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Speaker 4: Man, you don't trust I'll find another one. I'll find

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Speaker 4: another one, gonna get it. I'm not against people getting

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Speaker 4: their nut off. I'm just speaking facts.

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Speaker 1: As long as it's like not cheating or anything important. Distinction,

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Speaker 1: forge forage smartly, big brain, forge ethically, forge ethically, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you. That's what my wife said, which I found

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Speaker 1: a weird thing to say. He could leave by two am.

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Speaker 1: Then that's not a reason for leaving right now. But whatever,

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Speaker 1: I'm going insane inside and maybe can't understand why that

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Speaker 1: was set. Wife and I chatted. I think she could

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Speaker 1: tell something was off, so she offered a massage, but honestly,

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Speaker 1: I really didn't feel like being touched. I think I

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Speaker 1: was having a bit of anxiety. She asked me, what's wrong.

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Speaker 1: I told her, I think that some of my past

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Speaker 1: is effing with me. She asked if it was because

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Speaker 1: he was over so late after our kid was asleep.

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Speaker 1: I said yes. I asked if she had feelings for him.

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Speaker 1: She said no. Well there you have it right close.

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Speaker 1: I asked if he had feelings for her. She said,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. You guys remember what

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Speaker 1: happened in the last scenario.

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Speaker 3: She she said, I don't have feelings for him, but

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Speaker 3: he has feelings for me. It's getting I think that

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Speaker 3: if you think that someone has feelings for you and

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Speaker 3: you're like in close quarters with them and you have

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Speaker 3: a relationship, you gotta shut that down, make it, yeah,

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Speaker 3: real clear.

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Speaker 1: Just be like yo, I'm glad we don't have to

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Speaker 1: go insane on this night shift, but yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think you're catching vibes for me and I just

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Speaker 3: want to.

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Speaker 4: Put a wall up. Real cells. They know how to

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Speaker 4: talk and lie and get what they want. Two teachers

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Speaker 4: really three healthcare?

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Speaker 3: Well there you go. It's not the top most, but

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Speaker 3: it's up there.

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Speaker 1: It's it's up there least likely to cheat nerds.

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Speaker 3: And well, I mean we have a reputable source.

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Speaker 1: Yahoo, Yahoo finance. Hey man, Yahoo Finance. I passed my

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Speaker 1: driver's license or my driver's permit test through Yahoo Answers.

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Speaker 3: You didn't just take like the they give you like

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Speaker 3: a free test that has all the answers on it,

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Speaker 3: like the d m V gives you a free practice test.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if they do that in Florida.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, yeah, they give you a practice test and

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Speaker 3: it has like all of.

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Speaker 1: The answers on it. Well, I said, Yahoo Answers has

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Speaker 1: all the answers. So why would I why would I

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Speaker 1: stress myself?

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Speaker 4: I hear men, blue collar men and women in the

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Speaker 4: medical field. Nothing against people in the medical women in

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Speaker 4: the medical field, or blue collar man. Just putting that

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Speaker 4: out there.

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Speaker 3: Just you better watch out.

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Speaker 1: Riley's just relaying relaying the facts as he sees that.

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Speaker 3: Riley's just the messenger.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, Opie continues. I pressed

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Speaker 1: her on it because, in my opinion, my wife has

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00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 1: an eternally frustrating habit of trickle truth thing when she

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Speaker 1: knows it's something I don't want to hear. And then

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Speaker 1: she said, in a long string, he's just a dumb

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Speaker 1: young kid. He doesn't know what he's doing. I don't

355
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 1: even think he likes mushrooms. I just think he likes

356
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Speaker 1: being around me. But I don't find him attractive at all,

357
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Speaker 1: like at all. He's not my type. You're my type, Opie.

358
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 1: I don't I love you? Only you.

359
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 3: Sounding scarily close to his other experience ear really similar,

360
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Speaker 3: I would I think I would be if I were

361
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,199
Speaker 3: an op situation, I'd be like, Okay, well then you

362
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,200
Speaker 3: need to like set them straight. You need to own

363
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,440
Speaker 3: and tell him like, hey, we have to put up boundaries.

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00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,399
Speaker 1: Yep, yep. I should say. I did really feel like

365
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Speaker 1: she was being honest, but she did know the kid

366
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Speaker 1: had feelings for her. But she's right, he's young and

367
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Speaker 1: dumb and probably doesn't understand what he's attempting to do,

368
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 1: but he is attempting it, and she knew it. I

369
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,600
Speaker 1: then realized that I had my sleeping pad not blown

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00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 1: and I had come home. It's possible I could have

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Speaker 1: never known what had happened, or if he was there,

372
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 1: or how long or anything. Again, he only came home

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Speaker 1: because sleeping pad deflated. That set me spiraling inside a

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Speaker 1: little bit. After more discussion. To her defense, she said

375
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 1: things like I was uncomfortable to having him more over

376
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 1: that late though, I'm not sure what to think.

377
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 3: But just send him home, yeah, sure house.

378
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, just be like, oh, I'm getting really tired. Yeah,

379
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,639
Speaker 1: I'm getting really tired of like oh I'm gonna have

380
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Speaker 1: some alone time with a baby.

381
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,439
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, or like yeah, I just I gotta make

382
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 3: sure the kid's okay.

383
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,919
Speaker 1: No, it is a complete sentence. It's true. Again, I

384
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 1: don't want to stop my wife from having friends or

385
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 1: ruining her relationships with coworkers, and my past might be

386
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,199
Speaker 1: playing a nefarious role in my gut shooting up the

387
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 1: f and bat signal screaming at me that my relationship

388
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 1: is damaged beyond repair and my wife is entertaining other

389
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,360
Speaker 1: men seriously or unseeriously. As a response to that, am

390
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: I right to be distraught over him being so late?

391
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,679
Speaker 1: The only night I've ever been gone when she kind

392
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 1: of sort of knew he had feelings for her. I'm

393
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 1: feeling pretty affed up today because but I can't tell

394
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 1: if it's from today or just reliving the past back

395
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 1: then relevant, com excellent, Well we need to talk.

396
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 3: Let's talk.

397
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 1: What do you think of nnaw? He's basically asking, Yeah,

398
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 1: am I crazy? Am I just is this just because

399
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 1: my past situation? Should I say anything? What do you

400
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 1: think he should do in this one?

401
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 3: I don't know if she's necessarily cheated at this point, yep,

402
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 3: but I do think that she has been disrespectful perhaps

403
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,359
Speaker 3: to their relationship, and I think that Wolpe could just say, like, hey,

404
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not accusing you of anything, yes, but

405
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 3: I think that I would be more comfortable if you

406
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 3: do not have of a person that you know has

407
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 3: feelings over late at night, especially with our kid at home.

408
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: Well I'm not here.

409
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,359
Speaker 3: And then, like second thing, I would also like you

410
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 3: to tell him that, like, you know, hey, we have

411
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 3: to have like a professional relationship a boundary.

412
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, like hey, you know, it's great, that great that

413
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 1: we can chat, we're on the late shift, it's all great,

414
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 1: but like you know, I have a husband, and I

415
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 1: just don't want to give you any ideas of anything

416
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,919
Speaker 1: happen here, and vice versa. So just like we are,

417
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 1: you know, we work together, we're like office friends, you know.

418
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,400
Speaker 1: But that's that's kind of it. Yeah, And I think too,

419
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,360
Speaker 1: I feel like if he expresses it in a way

420
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: of like, to be quite honest, I feel like if

421
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 1: he just almost vocalizes what he's thinking through in his head,

422
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: which is, yeah, I don't want to be controlling. I

423
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: don't want you to feel like you have to, you know,

424
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 1: get my permission to do things or change or me

425
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 1: have you feel like you have to change your life

426
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,719
Speaker 1: in any way. But given this like very traumatic experience

427
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: in my past, it's kind of causing me a lot

428
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: of anxiety and I'm just kind of feeling overwhelmed and

429
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 1: like don't know what to think.

430
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's very fair.

431
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, And he's just like, hey, I'm this is just

432
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: what I'm what I'm feeling, and I'm and I'm unsure

433
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 1: of what to do here because I don't want to

434
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 1: be controlling in your life. If if if a wife

435
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 1: is a sane, rational, loving person, I feel like she'll

436
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 1: totally understand that.

437
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:26,959
Speaker 3: I agree.

438
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 1: Welaes and gentlemen. We got some other relevant comments where

439
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: I have.

440
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 4: A relevant comment. I'm trying to find that. I was

441
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 4: trying for the past five minutes finding the guy's name,

442
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,679
Speaker 4: the pilot's name. There was a Populin that got hijacked

443
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:43,160
Speaker 4: three separate times. This could just be happening to this guy.

444
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

445
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 4: Were like every relationship he gets into, some younger fellow

446
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 4: takes his galloway.

447
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I agree. That would be insane and awful. Sorry,

448
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 1: I don't agree.

449
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 3: I wasn't paying attention because I was telling Kean that,

450
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 3: oh yes, yeah, I have.

451
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,719
Speaker 1: No idea what you just said that he's gonna kind

452
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 1: of what I agree. It's a girlfriend cheat and pass

453
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: away three times.

454
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 3: Wow, I don't agree with that.

455
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:14,920
Speaker 4: Whoa, I mean it's following a pattern here, oh man

456
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 4: also really quick tonus uh pulicus.

457
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: I think uh oh yesios, thank you. His running off

458
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: with no prior uh heads up was prior notices concerning

459
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: I also kind of felt that a little bits, just like, hey,

460
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm just like not going to sleep at the house.

461
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 1: Maybe that's their vibe. It depends on it.

462
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 3: It depends on what their vibe is because it seems

463
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 3: like they're pretty outdoorsy, so it might just be like, hey,

464
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 3: go on camping.

465
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: Maybe they've done that before. Yeah, if that's the vibe, great,

466
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 1: which it low key seems like she'd have a problem

467
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 1: with it, so yeah, maybe, But I digress. We have

468
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 1: some relevant comments as well from the story. So coming

469
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: to the number one says she needs to cut this

470
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 1: kid off completely. Few people intend to start affairs. They

471
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 1: happen when someone outside the relationship starts paying them attention

472
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 1: and they don't stop it immediately. Oh he's just a friend,

473
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: he's nothing to worry about. He's not even my type.

474
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: All of those things have been said. She may not

475
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: be having an affair, or at least she doesn't realize it.

476
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: The medical profession, for some reason, is rife within Fidelity's

477
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: what Riley said. That's what Riley said, perhaps more than

478
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 1: any other.

479
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 3: Well, that's also what Riley said.

480
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: Oh, here we go, and they've they've brought receipts. This

481
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 1: is a study from twenty twenty one. A descriptive study

482
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 1: was carried out studying the association of certain variables. In total,

483
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 1: three hundred sixty seven volunteer participants completed an online survey.

484
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,719
Speaker 1: Of them, twenty one percent either have or had an

485
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: unfaithful relationship. Most of those were doctors eighty one percent,

486
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 1: and men were most likely to cheat. It showed, It showed.

487
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 1: Make sure that she's not in the two out of

488
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: the ten. I'm not sure what, op, what the commenter

489
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: means by that.

490
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 3: Mike's saying, so there's twenty percent, So it's eighty percent

491
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 3: of men, So that leaves twenty two out of.

492
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:08,880
Speaker 1: Ten, right right, math, Math, I can't do it, Opie replied. Yeah.

493
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 1: Another commentary talking talked about setting boundaries. What you got,

494
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 1: Riley a bait?

495
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 4: Forty two, mel got hijacked three times, survived a plane crash.

496
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 4: Thank you?

497
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: That was he? He was a pilot or he pilot?

498
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 4: He was a freaking pilot.

499
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: Wow. I mean, I guess that makes sense because you'll

500
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 1: be on planes the most. Yep. Yeah.

501
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 4: Prior to the crash, Lou had experienced two previous hijacks. Dang, dude,

502
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 4: I'm just saying, if this could happen to a pilot,

503
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 4: this can definitely happen to a guy in a relationship.

504
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 4: Oh please, please know I'm not saying the death part

505
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 4: but I'm just saying getting swept away by younger guy.

506
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 1: Okay, so the lightning strikes. Okay, that was that was

507
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: a good clarification.

508
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 4: That's what I'm meant.

509
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: By that, I see. I also love how this guy

510
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 1: is like your personal hero's bothered me so much. His

511
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: name Well if he replies to this comment, yeah. Another

512
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 1: commentar talked about setting boundaries. I think I'll ask her

513
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: what bout she thinks are appropriate, smart, and kind of

514
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: get a feeling of her headspace based on what she says.

515
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: The problem is not that my wife is conventionally extremely attractive. WHOA.

516
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 1: I know how the medical field is. We all witness

517
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,479
Speaker 1: a bunch of horrible crap and beautiful and crap and

518
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: difficult crap all together, and trauma bonding happens. She has

519
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: no shortage of male attention. I'm sure it's the same

520
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 1: at work, but has never given me any indication ever, honestly,

521
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 1: that she was searching elsewhere until this guy. Crap. Yeah, okay,

522
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: you might have a really good point. I hope he's like,

523
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 1: oh wait, A second coming to number two says, whatever's

524
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: going on, your wife is not doing a very good

525
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: job of alleviating any doubts. I think even without your trauma,

526
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,719
Speaker 1: you'd be maybe not distraught, but certainly suspicious and skeptical.

527
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: The trauma is just making you feel this more intensely.

528
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 1: I believe you may need to ask Clash demand your

529
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: wife stop seeing this kid outside of work. I know

530
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: you've been hesitant to create boundaries on her friendships, but

531
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 1: this is growing beyond the pale. If she respects you

532
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: and the marriage, she'll understand your point of view and

533
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 1: limit contact outside of work. If she fights you on this,

534
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: you should ask her why this friendship is more important

535
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: than causing your husband to be distressed. That I think

536
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,959
Speaker 1: is a good I don't think you should go in

537
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 1: with the demand, but I think I think absolutely bring

538
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, absolutely bring it and again yeah it's like, hey,

539
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 1: this is even if she doesn't fully grasp it. I

540
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: think in every relationship there's a thing where two people.

541
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: One person will not feel or see the gravity of

542
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: the thing the other feels. Sure. In this case, it's like, oh,

543
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: I'm just friends with the kid. It's like no big deal.

544
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: But it's like okay, especially given Opie's traumatic history, it's like,

545
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: you know, what is my helping my husband relieve his anxiety,

546
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: and everything in this scenario worth it. Yeah, the answer

547
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: is not always yes by any means, but specifically in

548
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 1: this context, it just might be. It just might be

549
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: don't let her keep apologizing to you after the fact.

550
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: Someone who respects you won't keep putting themselves in a

551
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: position to need to apologize. College to Number three says,

552
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: at best, she's using the dude to stroke her eco.

553
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,360
Speaker 1: At worst she's cheating.

554
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: Where she's using the dude destroke.

555
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: This is period. Either way, the way she's behaving is

556
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 1: not okay. And we have an update.

557
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 3: Someone says that the TLR says wife is money branching.

558
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 3: I believe it's suposed to say monkey branching. Hey, fair enough,

559
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 3: she's certainly not money branching if she's you know, talking

560
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 3: to a twenty one year old's true.

561
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: There we go. I was about to say, rally, now

562
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: it says mokey branching. We're inventing all the terms today, borging.

563
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: Do we have any predictions, any conspiracy theories?

564
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 3: I predict yep, that something's already possibly happened.

565
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 1: I think whether that be like he trying to make

566
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: a move and she was like no, I've got a husband.

567
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,919
Speaker 3: But she doesn't want to tell op and so she's like,

568
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:07,919
Speaker 3: oh no, like nothing happened.

569
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's because because like it's even way

570
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 1: more plausible that he just made a move, could have

571
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: been could have been very subtle, could have been less subtle.

572
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 3: Uh.

573
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 1: And then she turned it down. But she's like, Okay,

574
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 1: well if I tell my husband, it's like I didn't

575
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 1: tell him first. Yeah a b he sees me still

576
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 1: trying to be friends with him, So it's like that

577
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: it makes her look horrible, but it's like, you gotta

578
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: tell the truth.

579
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 3: You gotta tell the truth.

580
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: Can't live a lie. Ain't that the truth? I think

581
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: just the way that you know, we've we've seen. Actually,

582
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: it would be fun to get statistics on our own

583
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 1: stories on like how right we are. Oh no, that

584
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: would be fun too, that'd be fun too.

585
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 3: Like yeah, like how many people this happens to?

586
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: How these scenarios play out, like in just all the

587
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: stories where cheating is a used of how many of

588
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: those were actually cheating, which is kind of slanted because

589
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: most of the banger ones are the ones that the

590
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: crazy ones are making on the show. But yeah, I

591
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: think I'm going to take it just just a step

592
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: further and say that there was some full blown two

593
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 1: way cheating. Mmm.

594
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 3: Okay, yep, I guess we'll find.

595
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: Out on the board. But before you get bored, I'm

596
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: getting into this next update.

597
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 2: Hey, Sam, I'm your og host here. Read it back

598
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 2: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

599
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: So four of the days after we talked a lot,

600
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: she was adamant that she wanted nothing to do with them, Okay,

601
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: has no feelings other than their friendship, and now that

602
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: she was aware of both A the possibility of him

603
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: trying it is true, I or she still don't know

604
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: his intentions and be my reaction to her behavior, leaving

605
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: out his presence. Later with her text with her in

606
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: text messages to me after carpooling, slash, putting the kid

607
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 1: to bed, trickle truthing me on her view of his

608
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: possible intentions, et cetera, et cetera, she said that she

609
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: doesn't want anything to do with him. No, just no,

610
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: She's ready to shut it down, shutting it down. I'll

611
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: shut it down. Okay, that's that we think is is

612
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: that innocent.

613
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 3: Behavior shutting it down?

614
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 1: I guess it could be both. Yeah, I feel like

615
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: it could be good. Yeah yeah, Or I'm that innocent

616
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: behavior and that like, is that what she would do

617
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: if she was if she didn't cheat with them? Or

618
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: I feel like it kind of plays both.

619
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 3: I think it. Yeah, I think it could. It doesn't

620
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 3: tell It doesn't tell us yet.

621
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: She offered her phone up if I wanted to see

622
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: their conversations, and she did the location sharing thing on

623
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: her phone. It was pretty clear that this was all

624
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: some bs, and she hated that the situation ever became

625
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: a thing. She was losing a friend, but was but

626
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 1: was more than willing to even further. I'm I'm smelling innocence.

627
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: It's it's giving a sniff innocence, he said. Some boundaries

628
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: people overlaid at the house. Just let the other person know.

629
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: Obviously family doesn't count, just to avoid any possibility of

630
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: any interference. Better to let each other know who is

631
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: in our house. That late one on one For people

632
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: who may feel that we have hints of intentions beyond platonic,

633
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: we should over share with each other. Thanks helpful commentary.

634
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: Not over analyze every relationship, but just things like hey,

635
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 1: doc X said, this weird thing today. Also, doc X

636
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: sounds like a villain in a comment, Yeah that's fun.

637
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: Or new guy at foraging seemed to like me a lot.

638
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: He was looking for those nuts stuff like that. Don't know.

639
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: We all know that I don't want to be a

640
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: controlling person. I'm not that person, but maybe because of

641
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 1: my history I require more openness and communication about things

642
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: like that in a relationship, which I just got to

643
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: applot O pick I think is a great and self

644
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: aware thing.

645
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 3: And he's communicating that that's what he needs. Boom, excellent work.

646
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: That's that's it.

647
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 3: Ten out of ten.

648
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: That's the thing, ladies and gentlemen. But she told me

649
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: I was being too worried about her feelings slash me

650
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: being controled, and that she was more than willing to

651
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: do anything it took to rebuild any trust that was

652
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: broken from the situation. The second session of marriage counseling,

653
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: and obviously the topic came up first. I started to

654
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: give a brief history, but got interrupted by a child upstairs.

655
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: I gave them some attention and came back down to continue.

656
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 1: When I got to the part of coming home, taking

657
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: the shower, and then confronting my wife, I can't remember

658
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: who said what, but it was interrupted talking happened, and

659
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 1: then the therapist said, it sounds like wife recognized what happened,

660
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: and your past wife said that she didn't know how

661
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: a close slash similar some of the details were, and

662
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: the conversation moved on from there. The omission of his

663
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: presence in text messages, trickle truthing, none of that was

664
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: brought up, but things were looking up. I'm not sure

665
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: I liked the therapist, but whatever things seemed to be good.

666
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: She seemed fairly contrite, though I really was still bothered

667
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: by the red and orange flags planted in my little

668
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: mind garden. Fast forward a week, something like that, I

669
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 1: fed up. No, no, I guess I'm glad I did,

670
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: but I did f up.

671
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 3: Oh no, what does that mean?

672
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: There's only one way to find that out?

673
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 3: Uh oh, I feel like he like snooped on her

674
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 3: phone or something.

675
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I feel like she cheated. That's a good

676
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: that's a great conspiracy theory. That's a great conspiracy theory,

677
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: Hannah says, So communicate and yeah, there's ways to hide

678
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: stuff beyond texting. Maybe I'm being cynical, right right, so baby, Yeah, yeah,

679
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: maybe maybe she was using some other app but she

680
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: was like, hey, here's my location, here's my text. But

681
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: it's like, nah, you don't know about my little box

682
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: over here. I don't sleep much. Maybe five hours max.

683
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: I was up early garden tending again. These people love nature,

684
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: and made some breakfast for the little one and coffee

685
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: for her as usual. I saw her the wife, not

686
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 1: the baby. I saw her work bag on the floor,

687
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:57,959
Speaker 1: and I saw her journal in there, and well, boyo,

688
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: don't you know. I f up and read it.

689
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 3: No class man, And this is the point of no return.

690
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 3: This is the if you're not right, then your relationship

691
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: is going to be messed up. And if you are right,

692
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,240
Speaker 3: then your relationship is already messed.

693
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,280
Speaker 1: Up because you boke to trust my friend. I wanted

694
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,439
Speaker 1: to know if he the twenty one year old male

695
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: was in her journal for some context. I read the

696
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: journals of my late partner who fell into eternal sleep

697
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: over a decade ago, and it was a stupid, horrible mistake.

698
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: Do you just like date people who journal? Yeah, this dude,

699
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: this dude really has a habit of just ending up

700
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: in scenarios that just completely so much. That's kind of crazy.

701
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: I read things that I shouldn't have very raw thoughts,

702
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: feelings and pro and a pros and cons list of

703
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 1: me and crap like that that I can that's a

704
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: that would have been that way.

705
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 3: That is really really tough to read. But also these

706
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 3: were supposed to be your private thoughts. There are the

707
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 3: things that she's necessary, like she's probably hopefully not texting

708
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 3: her friends or anything. But like a journal is like a.

709
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: It's a private space, like any any space, one that

710
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 1: a person deems private should not be interrupted journal texts

711
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: like anything. And if you're not sure, then don't do it. Yeah,

712
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: Like a.

713
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 3: Journal is a place for you, like it should not

714
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 3: be have to be filtered because you're worried about other

715
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 3: people reading.

716
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: The exact moon though And this was the journal with

717
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: the pros and causals of the of the passed away

718
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: x oh, I.

719
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,359
Speaker 3: Thought it was the current one he read both.

720
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: Yikes, he's done it twice. History's repeating itself. Unfortune, it's

721
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: a little battered then injuries about the other man and

722
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: her falling in love with him and her thoughts. Wait,

723
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 1: let me make sure it's still the same. Okay, So

724
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 1: I think it's still the the the ex's journal of

725
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: the deceased X, then injuries about the other man and

726
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: her falling in love with him, and her thoughts about

727
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 1: her conflicted thoughts about leaving me near the end, if

728
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 1: I recall, she didn't know she loved us both, but

729
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 1: we were so different. I kept the journals. I still

730
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: have them somewhere, but I didn't burn. Those last pages

731
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 1: about him. Did burn, but I did burn those last

732
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: pages about him. I do recall. This is kind of insane.

733
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: I do recall telling myself that I was protecting future me.

734
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: I'm glad I burned those pages. But I'm also glad

735
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: I kept her journals but didn't venture to read them anymore.

736
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: I will again when I'm older, to keep her alive

737
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,280
Speaker 1: in me. Somehow, I guess I was not in this scenario.

738
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: I don't know how healthy it is. I don't think

739
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,320
Speaker 1: it is healthy. What do you mean, keep her alive

740
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: in you?

741
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 4: In a way, it seems like if he kept this

742
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 4: side of her, then they were never married. But if

743
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 4: he destroys the documentation of her cheating, then she can

744
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 4: still be like, I don't know a partner to him,

745
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:46,959
Speaker 4: And that makes sense because they were never even married.

746
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 4: I don't think because weren't they together. And then he

747
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 4: found out she was cheating, and then she went on

748
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 4: she got in a car accident right after that, and

749
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 4: then he couldn't he couldn't like confrontate it. Yes, So

750
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,399
Speaker 4: to him, it's like it never even happened. So he's

751
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 4: trying to like her and out because everything was fine

752
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 4: and Danny until that.

753
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, but she like, we know that

754
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: she cheated.

755
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 3: I don't know why you would want to remember that.

756
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

757
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 3: And also it's like her personal journal where she's like

758
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 3: saying that like bad stuff about him.

759
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, if anything, give it to give it to her parents.

760
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, why would you want to keep that?

761
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so strange. That's the weirdest thing I've seen. Op,

762
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: don't do so far if I'm if you think we're

763
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: just totally crazy and off base, write your paragraphs.

764
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, Prisa Griebas is to remember her Bible, Like, why

765
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 3: would you want to remember?

766
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 1: I don't get it either. When I saw her journals

767
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: in the bags, I just grabbed them and read the

768
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: last couple of pages inocuous stuff until I got about

769
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 1: you a month ago. It said text it all night

770
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: and hike Monday. Now, that wasn't me she texted with

771
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 1: or hiked on that day. That was him when she

772
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 1: forgot to get her prescription. So that meant two things

773
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 1: to me. Who writes texted all night in their journal?

774
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 1: Was someone they don't have feelings about. I'm not a

775
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: journal or person. Well you you seem to love them.

776
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 3: Seemed to be an avid reader of them.

777
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 1: I don't like my thoughts enough to put them on paper,

778
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 1: but that doesn't seem right to me. No name, but

779
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: definitely him. The dates match. I don't know. Again, I

780
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: don't journal, so maybe anything can mean anything in there,

781
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: but what the actual f Another point, she had planned

782
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: on hiking with him, She didn't tell me that. She

783
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: told me of her plans to go hiking after work

784
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: to pass the time before the pharmacy opens, but never

785
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 1: told me that he was going too. In fairness, she

786
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: told me afterwards. She sends pictures of the hike to me,

787
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: and his dog was in the photos, but she didn't

788
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: mention that they had planned it together. It just seemed spontaneous,

789
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 1: low key, kind of like how Opie was like, uh, oh,

790
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go camping for the night. Yeah, to be honest,

791
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: So take that as you will. I never asked, I

792
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: guess so, yeah, I stopped reading. Kind of felt like

793
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: I was shot with an arrow. Pretty horrible feeling because

794
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 1: I thought things were gonna be okay, but now I

795
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: read this crap.

796
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest. That is not enough proof. I

797
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 3: don't know if that's just me. That feels like not

798
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 3: enough proof.

799
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think once again, like anything not that this

800
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: justifies it necessarily about any little indicator seems to just

801
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:19,879
Speaker 1: like trigger the trauma for him and make him think that.

802
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 3: Which I think that the girlfriend has her weight wife. Yeah,

803
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 3: I think the wife has done she has been disrespectful.

804
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 3: But I think that op is as you said, like

805
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 3: multiplying this disrespect by ten in his mind and like

806
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 3: making it making every little thing seems just a lot worse.

807
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: And like in fairness, like I mean, she did, she

808
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: showed the location, she ended the friendship with him, allegedly,

809
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: she showed all the texts. Like again, there could be

810
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 1: a way where she's like dumping evidence on him to

811
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: make him look in like whatever messaging app she's texting

812
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 1: him in. But I don't know, I don't know. It's

813
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: a tough one. It was like six am at this point,

814
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 1: so I went on a run to clear my head

815
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 1: and that got the adrenaline going. Some tears too. All

816
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 1: got home and they were still sleeping. When they woke

817
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: up and we were alone. I asked her again, she's

818
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: tired because I am, and if she ever developed any

819
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: feelings at all for him? She said no. I told

820
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 1: her I read her journal. I apologize, but I told

821
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: her I read something and I needed an explanation. She

822
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 1: wasn't happy. She told me that those are personal her

823
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 1: thoughts and not for other people. She was also confused

824
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 1: as to what I could have possibly read about him

825
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: slashed the situation that needed explaining. She asked me to

826
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: show her the entry, so I did context They work

827
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: overnight together. Her response was, oh, yeah, we texted a

828
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: lot that night. He wasn't working, but I was. You know,

829
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: I wasn't home, right, I was working that night. That

830
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: does add more context.

831
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 3: But the thing is, I think it could be read

832
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,040
Speaker 3: either way, and I think OP is only reading it

833
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 3: like you know, sneaky.

834
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, because like if they are used to you know,

835
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: talking and like you know, passing the time at the

836
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: overnight shift together, is it that far of a reach

837
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: to where when one of them has a night shift

838
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 1: when the other isn't there, they it's it's almost like, hey,

839
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,240
Speaker 1: you know, I'll text you sometimes when you're doing the overnight,

840
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 1: and then vice versa, so that way, you know, it

841
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: kind of evens out there. They're giving each other the

842
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: thing to pass the time with.

843
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, that's I think it could lean either way.

844
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: It could lean to Janelle Janik says, hiking with another

845
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: man and not telling your partner is shady af I

846
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 1: wouldn't trust her. Yeah, it's yeah, yeah, And it seems

847
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: like they have this like very liberal anything anything that

848
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: is around nature. Yeah, just kind of like it's just

849
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: fair game. Just go hike with people, go spend the

850
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 1: night spontaneously.

851
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 3: This was before this was planned, before they had the conversation,

852
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 3: so potentially she might have still been in that kind

853
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 3: kind of a little bit disrespectful and not really thinking

854
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 3: about his feelings, not considering, you know, what he needed,

855
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: or it could be something else.

856
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: It's true. I asked, why is it in your journal

857
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 1: and why were you planning to hike with him? But

858
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 1: when you told me about your plans for that day,

859
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 1: you never mentioned you were planning it with him, She said, well,

860
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: I don't know for sure. I didn't know for sure

861
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: if he would come. We were talking about it, but

862
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 1: I didn't know for sure. As for the text it

863
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: all night part, she said it didn't mean anything, explaining

864
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: that journals are fragments, not full thoughts and she was

865
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 1: just writing it. Not as great an answer, but we'll

866
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 1: keep going. Yeah, I didn't like those answers at all. Honestly.

867
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 1: We had another long discussion where she reassured me it

868
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,720
Speaker 1: meant nothing and that it shouldn't be interpreted as anything

869
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: about her having feelings for him. And I believe her.

870
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 3: OI believes her Man still needs like individual therapy if

871
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 3: he isn't already doing it, that's.

872
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: A good question. I don't know if they've explicitly mentioned

873
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: if they're doing individual therapy. It's just like even you know,

874
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: either she is cheating.

875
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 3: On him, yep, or she's not cheating on him and

876
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:04,280
Speaker 3: he's betraying her trust in asking and asking for her

877
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 3: to be more like upfront and you know, respect boundaries.

878
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 3: He's not respecting her boundaries and so like, you can't

879
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 3: really ask someone to do something that you're not willing

880
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 3: to do or aren't doing.

881
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: And I think you got to call yourself out and

882
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,360
Speaker 1: acknowledge that. Yeah, it's like, hey, here, I was trying

883
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 1: to set up a boundary and I crossed one of

884
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: yours exactly clearly was not okay with it, which makes

885
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 1: perfect sense.

886
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 3: Yes, like you need to very much if you want

887
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 3: to move forward. And again we don't know yet, Like

888
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 3: maybe she is cheating. Maybe we find that out. But

889
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 3: in the scenario that she's not, you have crossed a

890
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 3: boundary that you asked her to, you know.

891
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: Respect even with the evidence we have, it's not it's

892
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 1: it's definitely not a smoking peop. Yeah, we don't have anything.

893
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, she is like unequivocally cheating. Yeah, we

894
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: don't have that right yet. I believe her. I don't

895
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,439
Speaker 1: know how she journals, so maybe this is uh, isn't

896
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: far out of the norm. I don't know. I have

897
00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 1: to be honest here at the trust that I have

898
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: in her, A lot of it left. You don't believe her.

899
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: I love how he's like, I believe her, but I don't.

900
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 1: I don't kind of kind of the same thing, which

901
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: is pretty much the basis of a relationship. A lot

902
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 1: of people send me messages after my post with spy

903
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: scams and such. Oh my god, if I had to

904
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 1: resort to that, I just ends a relationship. I thought,

905
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: Now I'm here and snooping at her journals. Two days later,

906
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: the kid and I went out camping at the park

907
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: for a couple of nights. She was working. We had

908
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 1: a blast during that time away. I decided it's important

909
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: for me to know what conversations took place between them. Yes,

910
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 1: I snooped, but I think it's reasonable at this point

911
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: to demand to know just what kinds of things are

912
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: said to them.

913
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 3: This is really frustrating. Yeah, Opie, break up with her.

914
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 3: Stop doing or I mean, I know you're married, so

915
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 3: I guess that's a little bit harder and you have

916
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 3: a child. Yeah, but like stop, yeah, I stop doing this.

917
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 1: I think, like it was so crazy because in the

918
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: beginning of a story, it's usually the inverse. Opie was

919
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 1: like I it was like, I.

920
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 3: Don't want to roast to conclusions. I want to come unicate.

921
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: I want to try to figure this out with her,

922
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: like you said, communicate absolutely everything. And now he's like

923
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: just completely going back on that incredible intention and just

924
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: being like Uh, I'm just gonna like be like I

925
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,399
Speaker 1: need you to also just.

926
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 3: Like the like the stupid thinking of him saying, oh, well,

927
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 3: she gave me permission before. It's like, no, you have

928
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 3: to like in terms of consent, it is an ongoing

929
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 3: thing that you have to keep asking for it. It's

930
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 3: not just like a yeah, this applies forever.

931
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 1: This is this is a recurring subscription.

932
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta keep asking.

933
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: You got you gotta interview your payment info.

934
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,399
Speaker 3: Because this is the am I R robot. You gotta

935
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 3: click that every time you sign in.

936
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: Boom capture cap that she had offered earlier to to

937
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: know more and communicate more. I just never took her

938
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: up on it because it was really obvious to me

939
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: that she felt that she had nothing to hide. But

940
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 1: after this journal entry thing, Yeah, I would like to

941
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 1: know what texted all night.

942
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 3: Means to ask her say, hey, I'm still insecure. I

943
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 3: would like to see your phone again, if that's okay.

944
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 1: I think that's essentially what he's what he's Oh, I

945
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,800
Speaker 1: thought he was just gonna sneak the phone. Oh, actually,

946
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,879
Speaker 1: you might be right. He might just sneak the phone. Yeah,

947
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: Tyler says he's very insecure, incredibly, insecure, incredibly so you know,

948
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: we know he has this past, this past situation, but

949
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: he should do what he was doing in the beginning,

950
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 1: which is communicate your feelings, communicate your your your confusion

951
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 1: and the conflicts going on within you. And you know,

952
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 1: you're not like demanding anything, You're just expressing how you feel.

953
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: And the conversation kind of goes from me exactly. Come on, now,

954
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 1: I thought, if the conversation that night would just bs

955
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 1: sure whatever, if it's more, or if that night is

956
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 1: deleted or something, then I'll know again not sure, but

957
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: I digress. I honestly expected to read those messages, be

958
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 1: reassured of her side of the story, and move on.

959
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 1: We got home yesterday from camping and gotta get our

960
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 1: our you know, gotta get that nature in.

961
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:57,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

962
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 1: This morning I asked her if I could read it

963
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 1: with if I could read their conversations. Okay, at least

964
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 1: she asked, at least he asked. I explained why, and

965
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: without hesitation, she said yes and went to get her phone.

966
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: She gave it to me and I started reading. They've

967
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: been texting recently, mostly innocuous mushroom stuff. Then a couple

968
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 1: of attempts for him to come over or go out

969
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: for forge. I guess he was going to be around

970
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 1: our area. He lives an hour away cruising on his motorcycle,

971
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 1: and uh Riley doesn't like that.

972
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 4: No, just the hour away. He's an hour wasting. Hey,

973
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 4: when can I come over? Like, yeah, my girl's an

974
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,479
Speaker 4: hour away and we plan them. But like it's because

975
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 4: we're in a relationship, not like that we're I don't know,

976
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 4: that's just that's just crazy to me.

977
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 1: Get a girl in your own zip code, Hey, come on,

978
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,320
Speaker 1: come on, and your own age and everything else. Reship, Yeah,

979
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: not married with a kid. So she she didn't let

980
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: him in. Hey, it's John here, og host of the show.

981
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's

982
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. She

983
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,839
Speaker 1: saw my face and asked what was wrong. I put

984
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: the down and I said, I don't want to read anymore.

985
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: I asked if she had told him about my view

986
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: on the relationship or it had happened to her anything

987
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 1: about him slash her slash I. She said no. I again,

988
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 1: she said no, she has no clue. She never mentioned

989
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: any of this to him. I showed her the text

990
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: and asked her why she would say that. Why would

991
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 1: she say no one was allowed at my home? People

992
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 1: are allowed in my home. That wasn't one of any

993
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: of the boundaries that we set together. So it's like

994
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 1: he was like, hey, can you tell him, like, I'm

995
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: not for both of you being here? And then she's like, oh, no,

996
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 1: one's allowed at our house. Yeah, it's like.

997
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 3: Changed in the truth a little bit.

998
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's been there. He's been here clearly, And why

999
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 1: would he say that to himself if she's never mentioned

1000
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 1: anything like that to him before. Her response was that

1001
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 1: she meant that she wasn't having people over a slash

1002
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 1: was busy. She then told me, you were at home

1003
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 1: that day. I don't get it. Yeah, I didn't read

1004
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: the dates of the text, but even so, why the

1005
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,720
Speaker 1: F would you word it that way. That's not even

1006
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 1: close to know I'm busy today, or literally any other

1007
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,320
Speaker 1: million of the ways to say I'm not available today,

1008
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,280
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to have people at home is entirely different,

1009
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 1: loll it is a different, entirely different. I mean, I

1010
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: don't know that that's necessary. I mean, if you're like, hey,

1011
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 1: I I guess I guess. I guess. I guess it's

1012
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: weird if you're like, hey, I can't have anyone home

1013
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 1: right now unless there's like a reason tied to it.

1014
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 3: But well, yeah, not allowed is placing direct blame on

1015
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,720
Speaker 3: op because you can kind of infer like, oh, not allowed. Okay,

1016
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 3: well who's not allowing the person you live with? But yeah,

1017
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 3: it's a little bit it is. I will agree it

1018
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 3: is weird. It is a weird way to say it.

1019
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 3: But I honestly think that at this point they're both

1020
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 3: like contributing to this kind of very I.

1021
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 4: Saw a really good comment from Hannah. I'm a bit

1022
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 4: all over the map here. She's not being honest and

1023
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 4: he's spiraling. Yeah, I agree, I would agree. Yes, is

1024
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 4: this a case of power tripping mingming?

1025
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 3: I think everyone sucks here. I think this is a

1026
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 3: bad relationship.

1027
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've we've we've reached the place I think where

1028
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: everyone sucks here. Bethany says wife sucks for having an

1029
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,879
Speaker 1: emotional affair at the very least, Opie sucks for how

1030
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 1: he responds, especially reading her journal. Agreed, I can cu

1031
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 1: oho now, I cannot see how on earth you get

1032
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 1: from those words to that meaning. She says that she

1033
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: was trying to convey. Maybe I'm wrong. She said she

1034
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 1: didn't mean it that way. That's not her mother tongue

1035
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: to be To be fair, English is not her first language.

1036
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 1: She's quite fluent and has learned it from childhood, but

1037
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:45,280
Speaker 1: it's not her her primary language. We've spoken exclusively English

1038
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: together for the decade that I've known her. You wouldn't

1039
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 1: know it if it wasn't her primary language unless you

1040
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 1: had a good ear. But she's right. Maybe it was

1041
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: just a mistranslation. Uh. She said it was clumsy and

1042
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: not meant in any way to convey anything more than

1043
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm not available today. We talked all tomorrow morning. When

1044
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 1: she went to bed, she reassured me that she loves me.

1045
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 1: It only me. I walked through every red flag, every

1046
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 1: opportunity for her to be opensed and open and honest.

1047
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 1: I asked why she didn't tell me about his recent

1048
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 1: attempts to meet up again. She said she still didn't know.

1049
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: She should have told me.

1050
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 3: All right, She said she didn't know she should have

1051
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 3: told me. She said she didn't know she had to

1052
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,320
Speaker 3: replay every conversation with him to me. I said she didn't.

1053
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 3: That's not what I was asking, But I was asking

1054
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 3: for her to be extra open about her relationship with him,

1055
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:37,240
Speaker 3: and him asking to come over twice definitely would require

1056
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 3: her letting me know. I told her she didn't respect

1057
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 3: me at all. I told her she didn't care enough

1058
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 3: to tell me. I told her she's not being open

1059
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 3: and honest with me, that it's not me and her

1060
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 3: against the world, that this relationship is something else. She

1061
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 3: reassured me it meant nothing. But now that she sees

1062
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 3: how that text could be read that way as if

1063
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 3: they had discussed him not being allowed in her home,

1064
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 3: she's still nice. She understands why I would react that way.

1065
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 3: She was frustrated. She said, it feels like a little

1066
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 3: fly came into my life and crapped all over everything,

1067
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 3: referring to him and his advances as the cause of

1068
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 3: what f this all up?

1069
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 4: But you know what you can do to fly, Sophia, Yep,

1070
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 4: how do you do it?

1071
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:19,720
Speaker 1: Exactly easy?

1072
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 3: Just smack us. I reiterated to her every step along

1073
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 3: the way in which he could have been more truthful

1074
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 3: with me and chose to omit information. And again, I

1075
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 3: still like again, I do one hundred percent agree that

1076
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 3: this wife is being disrespectful and is being either willfully

1077
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 3: ignorant or.

1078
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 1: Just is dumb is ignorant, Yeah, or.

1079
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 3: Is ignorant, which is not necessarily better.

1080
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:44,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1081
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 3: But also I think he needs to recognize that he

1082
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 3: is contributing to the downfall of this relationship.

1083
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 1: Yes, he needs to go back to what I was

1084
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: thinking first, and like, I don't want my trauma to

1085
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 1: cause all of us to like spiral out, which is

1086
00:52:58,160 --> 00:52:59,240
Speaker 1: I think is what is happening.

1087
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:02,360
Speaker 3: I agreed text all night and planning the hike, staying

1088
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 3: over late after car pooling together, after our kid went

1089
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 3: to sleep, texting me and not mentioning he was still over.

1090
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 3: Trickle truthing me on whether she thinks he's interested in her,

1091
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 3: his two offers to meet via a text, messenger or

1092
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 3: whatever that I saw didn't look more that she didn't

1093
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 3: think to tell me about, and her reply of not today,

1094
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 3: not today, not allowed to have anyone at home lol,

1095
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 3: whatever the F That means Her position is still the same,

1096
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 3: that this is all bad coincidences and misunderstandings, misreading a

1097
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 3: text or journal entries, et cetera. But she says she

1098
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 3: loves me, has only eyes for me, and better understands

1099
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 3: now where I'm coming from. So there's my little heck.

1100
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 3: I've got for myself. Personal therapy starting soon, but I

1101
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 3: guess reddit therapy will do for now.

1102
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 4: That's the best therapy.

1103
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,720
Speaker 3: It's somehow therapeutic to remember this and type it all out. Sorry,

1104
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 3: looking back, this is insanely long. It's too long to proofread.

1105
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 3: If craps garbled took me all day to write. I

1106
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 3: guess last post I felt very overwhelmed by the response. Sorry,

1107
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 3: I didn't respond to a lot of comments or questions

1108
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 3: or clarifications. I'll try to do better here, since this

1109
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 3: is probably the final time I'll use Reddit as therapy.

1110
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 3: Thanks in advance. I guess I should ask in this

1111
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 3: field of flags, is there some green grass? I trust

1112
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 3: my wife I did when she tells me she loves

1113
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 3: me and only me. I'm convinced. Or is this all

1114
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,359
Speaker 3: as fed up as the plane reading makes it seem?

1115
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 3: Because it does seem quite eft, And there are some comments.

1116
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 3: Should we get into them? Or do you have any

1117
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 3: comments of your own? Common one she's feigning naivety, but

1118
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 3: not today. Not allowed to have anyone at home lol,

1119
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 3: is a text to someone she has either complained to

1120
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 3: about you before, or she's trying to open the door

1121
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 3: to do that, or worse, she's already expressed unhappiness, whether

1122
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 3: true or not, in your marriage to him, which is

1123
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 3: the hallmark of an affair. I understand why you would

1124
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:56,879
Speaker 3: ask not to have people over lay at the house

1125
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 3: for the sake of protecting the children, for example, but

1126
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 3: may not be very helpful in this situation since they

1127
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 3: work together and the guy likely has his own place

1128
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,280
Speaker 3: and they drive to some places together. Alwell, she probably

1129
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,720
Speaker 3: won't leave you for the younger guy, but it seems

1130
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 3: like she wouldn't mind having some action on the side

1131
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 3: with him. You really need to make it clear to

1132
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 3: her what it would cost her if she would carry

1133
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 3: on like this, so she knows it's not something she

1134
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 3: can do and still keeps her marriage and still keep

1135
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 3: her marriage and family together, and Opie replies. Another commenter

1136
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 3: said that my focus on the comment was weird and

1137
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 3: her text seemed okay. My brain can't help, but say

1138
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,360
Speaker 3: your reading is the correct one. I mean, it reads

1139
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 3: exactly like someone who's already said something. I don't want

1140
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 3: to stop my wife from having friends, but if she

1141
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 3: volunteered cutting all contact permanently outside of work. It go

1142
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 3: a long way for me ignoring all the other blaring sirens.

1143
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 3: But if she doesn't volunteer it, honestly, I'd rather just

1144
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 3: understand that as a sign of the disrespect that seems

1145
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 3: pretty clear at this point. Anyway, Thanks for the comments

1146
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 3: and comment too, so to me, not allowed sounds like

1147
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 3: something a child would say sulkily. It really sounds like

1148
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 3: your wife likes the attention he's giving her and might

1149
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 3: be lying to you about her true feelings. Also the

1150
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 3: fact that she hasn't because it seems like he still

1151
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 3: thinks it's okay to like ask her to hang out,

1152
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 3: so she clearly hasn't said that boundary.

1153
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: Well no, well didn't she say that? She told him? Like,

1154
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,440
Speaker 1: didn't didn't didn't she? I thought she did. That's what

1155
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 1: I mean, That's what she said.

1156
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 3: But I feel like if if someone told me, hey,

1157
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 3: you know, my partner's not really comfortable with us like

1158
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 3: hanging out or talking, I wouldn't then text him and

1159
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 3: be like, hey, let's go.

1160
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 1: Ike. You know, Yeah, but maybe he's tipped. I think so,

1161
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 1: because I think he just asked about that. Ike.

1162
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 3: In my honest opinion, it would not be unreasonable to

1163
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 3: insist your wife cut off this friendship. He's a snake

1164
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 3: and she's encouraging him by not setting appropriate boundaries as

1165
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 3: a married woman, Opie replied. One person said, the text

1166
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 3: seem normal, seems like everyone else agrees with your reading.

1167
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:01,200
Speaker 1: I'm inclined to agree to.

1168
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 3: It's wildly suspicious the context the lol makes me see red, honestly,

1169
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 3: if I think about.

1170
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 1: It too much.

1171
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,720
Speaker 3: If it really were that level of disrespect, I can't

1172
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 3: tolerate that. I emailed our therapist about addressing what we

1173
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 3: missed in her last session and how to address it.

1174
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 3: I'll probably share this post with her or read it

1175
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 3: at the next session or some truncated version of it. Thanks, though,

1176
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 3: appreciate your input. And that is the end of the story.

1177
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:29,480
Speaker 1: Just everyone just run away from each other. Yeah, this

1178
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: is not.

1179
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 3: A healthy relationship. You guys have progressed very far, and

1180
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 3: neither of you are been the right quite rightly.

1181
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: And you know, he started off so good and so

1182
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 1: self aware, Yeah, and then just downhill so freaking fast.

1183
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,800
Speaker 1: Now we're just here and I'm sad. Yeah, I don't

1184
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 1: know what's going on because apparently I'm going crazy.

1185
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 3: I agree, like we still don't know if she's actually done,

1186
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 3: you know, if she's cheated. Yeah, but she definitely has

1187
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 3: crossed a lot of boundaries and been very disrespectful. The

1188
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:00,439
Speaker 3: relationship was Ope.

1189
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:02,360
Speaker 1: I think it's what you said earlier in the story,

1190
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 1: where it's like something has happened, even if it's not

1191
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 1: like he even like made a literal pass, but it's

1192
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 1: just kind of like that flirtation that she's being willfully

1193
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 1: ignorant of because maybe she likes the attention. Agreed, But

1194
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 1: if you disagree with us, you can freaking get in

1195
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: the comments. In the comments, okay, write down paragraphs why right,

1196
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 1: a soliloquy, a novella of why we're so wrong right?

1197
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 3: In an I am a pentimeter.

1198
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 1: Do that