Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask
Speaker 1: the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths,
Speaker 1: closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
Speaker 1: Danielle Robe, and each week, my guests and I come
Speaker 1: together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
Speaker 1: of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not?
Speaker 1: And who says? So? Come curious, dig deep, and join
Speaker 1: the conversation. It's time to question everything. Wow, five days
Speaker 1: until the new year. First of all, happy holidays. I
Speaker 1: hope you know what. I don't know what. I hope
Speaker 1: because I've had holidays that are amazing and I've had
Speaker 1: holidays that were really bad. So I hope yours weren't bad.
Speaker 1: But if you did have a bad one, know that
Speaker 1: I've been there. And I hope you're looking forward to
Speaker 1: the new year as much as I am. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's a fresh start, and my birthday is January fifteenth,
Speaker 1: so I always feel like I almost have two fresh
Speaker 1: starts in the new year. Like I reflect and I
Speaker 1: think about everything leading up to the new year, and
Speaker 1: then you know, you celebrate or you rest however you
Speaker 1: want to spend New Years and then January fifteenth, I
Speaker 1: really try and put the pedal to the metal. I'm
Speaker 1: going to turn thirty five. Can you believe that I'm
Speaker 1: actually doing a really special episode for my birthday? Because
Speaker 1: the show airs on Thursday, and January fifteenth happens to
Speaker 1: fall on a Thursday, and so I've never done this before,
Speaker 1: but I have invited a special friend who is also
Speaker 1: on the internet, and I feel like so myself with her.
Speaker 1: So we are going to do an episode. I don't
Speaker 1: know how long it will be. We can really talk,
Speaker 1: but we'll try and edit it down. But we're going
Speaker 1: to do an episode of like ask me anything, So
Speaker 1: if you guys have any questions, I know I talk
Speaker 1: about myself a little bit on here, especially in the intros,
Speaker 1: but with guests, I try and make it about them,
Speaker 1: and I've gotten messages from you being like I want
Speaker 1: to know more about your life. So I'm finally doing it.
Speaker 1: If you have any questions, just DM either me Danielle
Speaker 1: Robe or the Question Everything HQ page on Instagram and
Speaker 1: we'll write all the questions down. I'm gonna get real
Speaker 1: about all the lessons I've learned, the stuff I've messed up,
Speaker 1: things that are on my mind and heart. I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about a lot lately. I think that's what happens
Speaker 1: with zero and five birthdays, you know. So let's get
Speaker 1: into today's episode. I don't know if you remember, but
Speaker 1: last New Year's I did something I'd never done before,
Speaker 1: and I just spoke freely, like I just talked, no script, nothing,
Speaker 1: and I talked about New Year's and I came up
Speaker 1: with this five step transform your life New Year's plan.
Speaker 1: And it happened originally, if you remember, because some guy
Speaker 1: a train said to me, Danielle, what if you really
Speaker 1: gave it your all? And I had back pain at
Speaker 1: the time, and I was like, I'm just Paul, I'm
Speaker 1: just happy that I made it here, Like I'm proud
Speaker 1: of myself for just making it here. And he goes, no, Danielle,
Speaker 1: what if you really gave it your all? And it
Speaker 1: made me so mad. I kind of left in a huff,
Speaker 1: and I thought about his words all day. And at
Speaker 1: the time, I was really frustrated with my career. I
Speaker 1: felt burnt out. And I really think that a lot
Speaker 1: of people get burnout wrong. I really think a lot
Speaker 1: of burnout comes when your output doesn't match your input
Speaker 1: or like the blessings coming to you, Like when you
Speaker 1: were expending so much time, money, and energy and you
Speaker 1: don't see that coming back to you. I think that's
Speaker 1: when a lot of burnout comes. And I was there
Speaker 1: and I said to myself, what if I really gave
Speaker 1: it my all? Well, how do I give it my all?
Speaker 1: And I started seeing an executive coach And you guys know,
Speaker 1: I've been to years of therapy and I've done some retreats,
Speaker 1: and I started listening to podcasts and reading books, and
Speaker 1: I put together basically fifty thousand dollars worth of coaching
Speaker 1: from mentors, from life coaches, executive coaches, therapists, etc. Things
Speaker 1: I've read in books and put all my favorite tools
Speaker 1: into this worksheet and I filled it out and I
Speaker 1: started working intentionally toward the life I wanted and listen,
Speaker 1: my life is not perfect. But when I did that
Speaker 1: that first year, things changed for me, and I realized
Speaker 1: that your life is already moving, whether you set intentions
Speaker 1: or not. The year will fill itself. Your calendar is
Speaker 1: going to get loud, your phone will get loud. Other
Speaker 1: people's urgency will start to kind of masquerade as your
Speaker 1: responsibility That's basically what our inboxes are, right. It's a
Speaker 1: to do list other people's things they need us to do.
Speaker 1: And I really feel that if we're not careful, we
Speaker 1: can wake up next December having done a lot without
Speaker 1: ever having chosen enough. And when I filled this worksheet out,
Speaker 1: I felt like I was choosing more so, and again
Speaker 1: it wasn't perfect. I didn't fulfill all of my goals
Speaker 1: or manifestations. I told myself I was going to have
Speaker 1: this morning routine. I didn't do it, and I still
Speaker 1: reached different heights, different places, and I really think it's
Speaker 1: just the intention. So last year I went through the
Speaker 1: worksheet with you guys, and this year I felt like
Speaker 1: I was going to do the same. Last year, I
Speaker 1: skipped a few things because they felt really personal, and
Speaker 1: you'll see as I go through with that. Part of
Speaker 1: my goal this year is to not fear any of that.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be my full self, authentic, good, bad, ugly,
Speaker 1: all of it, and I don't feel fear around sharing
Speaker 1: anything with you. So I'm going to get into the weeds.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go through every question unless it feels boring,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to share how I filled out the
Speaker 1: worksheet in case it helps you move through yours. And
Speaker 1: I hope you take the time to do it if
Speaker 1: you feel called to it. If you don't, then there's
Speaker 1: no pressure. Like if you just want to listen to
Speaker 1: this episode and hear my goals for entertainment, that's totally cool.
Speaker 1: I've had those years. I've been there. But if you
Speaker 1: do feel called to wanting different or wanting more, or
Speaker 1: feeling like this is interesting and there's curiosity around it,
Speaker 1: here's what I think the payoff is. When you take
Speaker 1: one hour probably max. Ninety minutes to do this with intention,
Speaker 1: I really think you buy back months of clarity. You're
Speaker 1: going to make cleaner decisions, waste less energy, not making
Speaker 1: negotiations with yourself. You're going to create a year that
Speaker 1: actually feels like yours. And I believe that's a commitment
Speaker 1: to living on purpose, not by accident, right, And you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of manifestation in my opinion. We've heard so
Speaker 1: much about it on Instagram and TikTok over the last
Speaker 1: few years, which I love because I believe in it.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of it is so conscious
Speaker 1: stuff Like I don't know, if you were a kid
Speaker 1: and you had an interest in something, or like maybe
Speaker 1: you loved an artist and you ended up meeting them,
Speaker 1: or somehow your paths crossed, or you always wanted to
Speaker 1: work at a certain place and it happened. Yes, that's manifestation.
Speaker 1: But I think when we're younger we don't realize it.
Speaker 1: It's in our subconscious and so we make decisions based
Speaker 1: on those subconscious thoughts that get us closer to things,
Speaker 1: and that can be things that hinder us or help us.
Speaker 1: And so I think it's really important to get clear
Speaker 1: with ourselves in terms of maximizing the help column so
Speaker 1: that we live on purpose. Okay, not trying to mel
Speaker 1: Robbins you. I'm just trying to explain where I'm at.
Speaker 1: So before we do anything, before the goals, before the list,
Speaker 1: before the new year, knew me noise, Let's do what
Speaker 1: we did last year. Let's leave everything at the door.
Speaker 1: The stress, the texts, the performance, the weird feeling that
Speaker 1: you're behind. I've felt that lately, the old story that
Speaker 1: says you have to hustle for your value. If you
Speaker 1: just for a moment, take a breath in and take
Speaker 1: a breath out, say to yourself, I'm allowed to want
Speaker 1: more let it in calmly. That is the tone of
Speaker 1: twenty twenty six. Calm, receiving, clean asking, unrushed power. And
Speaker 1: one quick addendum. If you are listening to this and
Speaker 1: thinking I don't even know what I want, I think
Speaker 1: we all want very similar things. We want to feel fulfilled.
Speaker 1: We want to remember our lives. We want the kind
Speaker 1: of success that doesn't cost us our relationships or our bodies.
Speaker 1: We want love that feels safe and electric and easy.
Speaker 1: We want money that flows so we can build what
Speaker 1: we're meant to build personally or professionally. We want family,
Speaker 1: we want devotion. We want to stop playing small, and
Speaker 1: sometimes it helps to talk it out, to go back
Speaker 1: and forth with somebody. So if you want to do
Speaker 1: the worksheet with somebody, that's cool. If you want to
Speaker 1: use chat GPT as your creative partner, that's cool. I
Speaker 1: actually did that for two sections that I couldn't figure
Speaker 1: out what I wanted, and it helped me. There are
Speaker 1: no rules except for this. We have to be honest
Speaker 1: about our lives and about ourselves. It's the only rule. Honesty.
Speaker 1: Let's jump into our twenty twenty six vision. Okay, So
Speaker 1: step one is reflect on this year with curiosity and clarity.
Speaker 1: And this is basically a free right. It's saying, here's
Speaker 1: all the things I did, Here's all the things I felt.
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some examples for mine. I
Speaker 1: wrote this year was magnificent. I really feel like a
Speaker 1: woman and an adult. And at the end of last year,
Speaker 1: I had the flood in my apartment that pushed me out.
Speaker 1: And I really disliked that apartment. It was dark and
Speaker 1: dreary and small, and I'd lived there for so long
Speaker 1: because I was saving money and it was cheap and
Speaker 1: a good location. And I literally got pushed out. Because
Speaker 1: I now live in a place that feels like it's mine.
Speaker 1: When I walk in, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1: It has windows, it is decorated the way I want
Speaker 1: it to be decorated. And I can't even believe how
Speaker 1: much I underestimated what a peaceful space meant to my life.
Speaker 1: Everything has gotten better because of it. Other things I did.
Speaker 1: My friend had a baby named Howie who was born.
Speaker 1: I got to love on him. It was my first
Speaker 1: experience like really being with a baby, and oh I
Speaker 1: love it. My grandma had her ninetieth birthday in Port
Speaker 1: of Aarta over Thanksgiving. We went with my whole family.
Speaker 1: It was so fun. We were all kind of dreading
Speaker 1: it and it ended up being a blast. That was
Speaker 1: so fun. I got to go to the Godmother's Bookstore
Speaker 1: in Santa Barbara and do a book talk with Naharusche,
Speaker 1: who's a beautiful human being and I love her work.
Speaker 1: That was such a fun experience. I did a Dagny
Speaker 1: Dover event for Women's Month. I did south By Southwest
Speaker 1: and launched the card game with twenty one Seeds, which
Speaker 1: was my first first card game collab. I got to
Speaker 1: interview all these amazing founders there, like Cat Hauntis with
Speaker 1: twenty one Seeds and the founder of Poppy Allison, who's amazing.
Speaker 1: And in June I was named Gloria Steinhem's Fellow. That
Speaker 1: was a huge part of my year. I wrote down
Speaker 1: the people that I interviewed for both this show and
Speaker 1: for Bookmarked. I had a few interviews go pretty viral,
Speaker 1: and I wrote that down. I wrote down some of
Speaker 1: the deals that I did, how I expanded myself in negotiation.
Speaker 1: I felt calm and steady and knew my worth For
Speaker 1: the first time this year, I felt comfortable walking away
Speaker 1: from things if it felt like it was too low.
Speaker 1: I had some dating stuff that I wrote down, and
Speaker 1: I went to a Cleo Soul concert at the Hollywood
Speaker 1: Bowl with my friend Emily Bear. That was so fun.
Speaker 1: I wrote down that my grandmother died and that was
Speaker 1: very sad. My friend Anna came to visit me and
Speaker 1: stayed with me. She was my first visitor in this apartment.
Speaker 1: Went to a Biza this summer. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if I told you guys that I went to Abiza
Speaker 1: with a man. It was so fun. Had the best week,
Speaker 1: just like swam in the ocean and ate delicious food.
Speaker 1: I saw the Barbara Walters documentary in New York. I
Speaker 1: saw Beyonce for the first time in concert. I will
Speaker 1: say one of the best parts of my year was
Speaker 1: raising money from Mongsalu Dola. If you guys are on Instagram,
Speaker 1: you probably saw that years ago. At the Clinton Foundation,
Speaker 1: I interviewed five people changing the world, and one of
Speaker 1: the people I interviewed was named Mong. And he survived
Speaker 1: the genocide in me and mar and has an incredible story.
Speaker 1: Is here in New York alone and got himself to Nyu,
Speaker 1: which is basically unheard of. He's the first person from
Speaker 1: his refugee camp to go to higher education, because part
Speaker 1: of the genocide there is they don't want people educated,
Speaker 1: so it's like great resistance to be educated. And when
Speaker 1: I left interviewing him, I said, Mong, if you ever
Speaker 1: need a friend, I'm here. I don't know what I
Speaker 1: can do for you, but you're alone, and I don't
Speaker 1: want you to feel alone. And I have to be
Speaker 1: honest with you, guys. I said that because when I
Speaker 1: first moved to la and I did an interview with
Speaker 1: Steve Carlston, who was my mentor still is. It's funny
Speaker 1: he has very little social media presence and that interview
Speaker 1: is one of the highest rated interviews of all time.
Speaker 1: And I think you heard the love in it, and
Speaker 1: he has so much wisdom. But anyways, when I first
Speaker 1: moved here and I met him, you may know this story,
Speaker 1: but I pitched him to be an entertainment reporter at
Speaker 1: NBC and he heard me out for like thirty minutes,
Speaker 1: heard my whole pitch, and then he said, listen, Danielle,
Speaker 1: I can't hire you, but I will be your friend.
Speaker 1: And I think he saw how alone I was. And
Speaker 1: when I saw Mong, I thought about that moment, and
Speaker 1: I was like, sometimes people just need a friend. And
Speaker 1: it turns out mong did need a friend. Because of
Speaker 1: the governmental changes and the cuts to a lot of
Speaker 1: foundations and institutions. His scholarship ended and he was going
Speaker 1: to have to drop out of school, and so I
Speaker 1: helped him raise money and together we got enough money
Speaker 1: for him to stay in school and he's going to
Speaker 1: graduate in one more semester. So that was truly the
Speaker 1: highlight of my year, aside from everything with Reese Witherspoon
Speaker 1: and Hello Sunshine and Gloria. I wrote that I didn't
Speaker 1: cry as much. I'm obviously an emotional person, but I
Speaker 1: didn't cry as much this year, and I don't know
Speaker 1: what that's about. I still cried, but not as much.
Speaker 1: I didn't have moments on the bathroom or kitchen floor
Speaker 1: the way I used to. And I felt like I
Speaker 1: stopped wasting money and time and didn't go so out
Speaker 1: of my way in relationships that felt like they weren't reciprocal,
Speaker 1: and that felt really good. I saw a bunch of concerts.
Speaker 1: I wrote those down, and then basically I wrote down
Speaker 1: like all the ways I felt like I won, and
Speaker 1: all the ways I felt like I lost. Then there's
Speaker 1: like a bunch of questions, right, and so the first
Speaker 1: is three words to describe this past year. I said full.
Speaker 1: I pushed it all to the max in everything I wrote.
Speaker 1: It was good for my soul and it was stretching.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I mean by that. There was
Speaker 1: a period of time it was like September October, and
Speaker 1: I had so many professional commitments that required like a
Speaker 1: lot of planning, a lot of prep work, research, question planning,
Speaker 1: and then also like I had to find outfits. I
Speaker 1: had to book everybody I needed, like hair and makeup
Speaker 1: and photographers and videographers and move things around and change things.
Speaker 1: And in the midst of it, my Grandma passed away,
Speaker 1: and I flew home and had like a crazy thing,
Speaker 1: and then got to New York and was going to
Speaker 1: interview Reese for the very first time, which meant so
Speaker 1: much to me because aside from working at Hello Sunshine,
Speaker 1: which I've never felt like I fit anywhere the way
Speaker 1: I fit here, Like, I love it so much, And
Speaker 1: she's a leader, it's such a values driven company, and
Speaker 1: I respect her so deeply. But I have since I
Speaker 1: was a little girl. There's this Oprah interview. She did
Speaker 1: that if you look it up, you'll see it right away.
Speaker 1: But she made me feel like it was cool to
Speaker 1: be a feminist and cool to be smart, and cool
Speaker 1: to read and like all the things I was into.
Speaker 1: And I felt like overwhelmed. I've never really interviewed somebody
Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed like that. And I was so exhausted by
Speaker 1: the time I got to New York. And I got there,
Speaker 1: I got to the Apple Store, and my grandmother in
Speaker 1: her eighties, she would go to the Apple Store and
Speaker 1: take those lessons. And as soon as I got to
Speaker 1: the Apple Store, I started crying, and I was like,
Speaker 1: get it together, Danielle, you know, like grief is so weird,
Speaker 1: it just hits you at the most random moments, and
Speaker 1: pushed through. Did the interview. It went really well, I think,
Speaker 1: and by the time I got home and unpacked and
Speaker 1: unwound from the two months of just so much, I
Speaker 1: realized I made it through. I pushed myself like my
Speaker 1: bandwidth got bigger, and that was really cool. I did
Speaker 1: it with grace mostly, but there were some moments that
Speaker 1: I'm not proud of too. I found when I was
Speaker 1: exhausted and pushing it like angry sometimes, and I don't
Speaker 1: get the emotion of anger very much, so that was
Speaker 1: sort of new and something I was thinking about. It
Speaker 1: was super imperfect, but I did get better. If you
Speaker 1: could relive one day from this year, what would it
Speaker 1: be and why? The first thing that came to mind
Speaker 1: was a sunset in a visa. Didn't cost any money.
Speaker 1: I was just sitting there, no phone on the beach,
Speaker 1: just true joy. I was wearing this really comfy outfit.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I bought it from Shean. I can
Speaker 1: link it if you're interested. I'll show you a phot up.
Speaker 1: And it was so cute and comfy, and I was
Speaker 1: so happy. I have to think about how I'm going
Speaker 1: to bring that in more. What's the bravest thing you
Speaker 1: did this year? I wrote that I tried. I always
Speaker 1: think trying is winning. I went home to see my
Speaker 1: grandma when she passed and pushed through to that interview.
Speaker 1: That's what I wrote down. What two things lit you up?
Speaker 1: And what two things drained you? I wrote that Being
Speaker 1: Glorious Dyinhem's Fellow lit me Up lit me up so big,
Speaker 1: Launching Bookmarked and working with Hello Sunshine lit me Up.
Speaker 1: It's behind the scenes, like I love giggling with everybody
Speaker 1: who works there and talking and learning from them. And
Speaker 1: my college friends they totally lit me up. A few
Speaker 1: of my LA girlfriends lit me up. And then I
Speaker 1: just love couch hangs. Like going out is fun, but
Speaker 1: I love a couch hang that lit me up. Okay,
Speaker 1: drained texting. I felt overwhelmed by texts. I'm going to
Speaker 1: have to figure that out in the new year. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about how to streamline that because it really just
Speaker 1: drains all my good energy. Unnecessary meetings, I didn't walk enough,
Speaker 1: and my workouts were kind of bluh. I love feeling
Speaker 1: like I'm strong and I'm making progress, and I was
Speaker 1: tired this year in that capacity. What three things brought
Speaker 1: you personal happiness aside from your friends and family. The
Speaker 1: community at my gym that's so fun. Time alone in
Speaker 1: my apartment, connecting with interesting people and learning from them.
Speaker 1: Executive producing a show and feeling like my ideas work.
Speaker 1: The Bookmark podcast that I do. I executive produce, and
Speaker 1: I got to implement some things and some ideas and
Speaker 1: some processes that I'd always felt like they could work
Speaker 1: by watching other people executive produce and thinking like, hmm,
Speaker 1: I wonder if I could do that. I didn't feel
Speaker 1: intense financial stress this year. That really lit me up.
Speaker 1: What are you most grateful for from the past year?
Speaker 1: I wrote, I'm so grateful for Hello, Sunshine and the
Speaker 1: whole team that have made this sort of new era
Speaker 1: possible for me. I feel in flow, and a lot
Speaker 1: of it is because of them. My apartment, I love
Speaker 1: decorating it. I still need to get art for the
Speaker 1: walls and then my health, and I'm going to prioritize
Speaker 1: that more this year. What's something you can forgive yourself
Speaker 1: to move forward with peace? Okay? Gossiping? And I go
Speaker 1: back and forth on gossip because, like if you're in
Speaker 1: a safe space, some of it feels like Barbara Walters
Speaker 1: would always gossip, she was known for it. But every
Speaker 1: time I've done it, I feel icky after. And I
Speaker 1: actually talked to my therapist about it last week and
Speaker 1: came up with a plan because I'm never an initiating gossip.
Speaker 1: That's just not me. But I'm a very literal person,
Speaker 1: and so if somebody asked me a point blank question,
Speaker 1: I have a hard time either talking around it or
Speaker 1: not answering. It's the Chicago and me like, I'm to
Speaker 1: the point I'm going to give you the truth. And
Speaker 1: so I was like, I need to be able to
Speaker 1: be that person and not get myself into a space
Speaker 1: where I'm ever feeling like I'm talking poorly about somebody.
Speaker 1: And my therapist said a few things. She said, one,
Speaker 1: you can sort of answer a question with a question,
Speaker 1: So if somebody asked you about somebody, you can say, oh,
Speaker 1: that's interesting, why are you asking? That feels like a
Speaker 1: good reroute. Then she said you can also sort of
Speaker 1: pull something from that question and redirect. What is one
Speaker 1: change you made this year that improved the quality of
Speaker 1: your life. I really poured into my friends more. And
Speaker 1: I saw this clip I think in March from Esther
Speaker 1: Perel and she was like, you know, we all have
Speaker 1: so many friends online, but who are the people that
Speaker 1: would pick you up from the airport or feed your cat.
Speaker 1: I don't have a cat, but I poured into my
Speaker 1: feed my cat friends, and that was really intentional because
Speaker 1: I have a lot of acquaintances and I really wanted
Speaker 1: to pour into the feed my cat friends. So what
Speaker 1: are three things you can give yourself credit for this
Speaker 1: past year? I wrote that I showed up. I prepared
Speaker 1: for almost everything. I showed up for friends birthdays, I
Speaker 1: planned some friends birthdays, had some people at my house.
Speaker 1: I showed up for funerals for my family, for friends,
Speaker 1: and I felt like my relationship with my mom was
Speaker 1: so much better last year. I remember doing this podcast
Speaker 1: on New Year's and crying into the mic and having
Speaker 1: this realization that I think I've been hard on her
Speaker 1: and that I really am more like her than I
Speaker 1: probably even knew. And I think our relationship getting stronger
Speaker 1: and more connected is credit to both of us because
Speaker 1: we both shifted and changed. But that's given me so
Speaker 1: much joy. I'm actually going to bring her onto the podcast.
Speaker 1: What promised you keep breaking to yourself? Why no phone
Speaker 1: in the morning? And visualization and manifestation? I want to
Speaker 1: do Joe Despenza manifestation and visualization practices. They're ten minutes,
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. I can do that every morning, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to wake up and scroll on my phone,
Speaker 1: and I've been doing that. Who challenged you the most
Speaker 1: this year? What did the challenge teach you about yourself?
Speaker 1: There are two people I wrote down I'm not going
Speaker 1: to name them, and I realized that it's when I
Speaker 1: feel slighted. I take it deeply personal. When someone is
Speaker 1: two faced. Everything is reminiscent of our childhood wounds. And
Speaker 1: so one of the things from my childhood was that
Speaker 1: I think sometimes it was hard to disagree with one
Speaker 1: of my parents. I just didn't feel worthwhile because there
Speaker 1: was so much upheaval after the disagreement or having a
Speaker 1: different opinion. And this person that challenged me was reminiscent
Speaker 1: of that. And I didn't realize it for like a
Speaker 1: year until my therapist finally pointed it out, and that
Speaker 1: was really helpful. What's your most memorable story or experience
Speaker 1: from this past year. I really feel like Gloria's house.
Speaker 1: Being able to sit with her and the whole team
Speaker 1: around her is so fun. Like even when I'm not
Speaker 1: with Gloria and I'm with her team, I just feel
Speaker 1: like so happy. Like I love hearing about their lives.
Speaker 1: I love hearing about her old love stories and asking
Speaker 1: her questions about what she thinks about politics and sociology
Speaker 1: and roman chants. Like this year, she told me that
Speaker 1: she doesn't really understand breakups because like, you just date
Speaker 1: somebody and then you kind of stop seeing them. And
Speaker 1: you start dating somebody else, like you don't really need
Speaker 1: to tell anybody. I loved going into her room and
Speaker 1: sitting and just being and talking. I grew up in
Speaker 1: a talking house, and it's very reminiscent of that. She
Speaker 1: was like my person. I've read every word she's written.
Speaker 1: I talk about Barbara Walters as like a journalistic icon,
Speaker 1: but I didn't value how she lived her life. To
Speaker 1: be honest, I don't know that she moved with like
Speaker 1: the type of kindness or other things that I value
Speaker 1: and Gloria does. I can't believe I get to sit
Speaker 1: in her living room, but that feels like one of
Speaker 1: those subconscious manifestation things. What was the most valuable lesson
Speaker 1: you learned this year? I wrote that hard feelings pass eventually,
Speaker 1: so just like move them through your body in the
Speaker 1: somatic way. I realized I don't have to sit in it.
Speaker 1: Years ago, I would like sit in the pain or
Speaker 1: the insecure, and I would for days be upset about
Speaker 1: things or feel depressed. And I don't have that now.
Speaker 1: Like every time I'm sad, I'm like, nothing is personal.
Speaker 1: They're responding to something unsolved within them, and what feels
Speaker 1: like rejection is truly self protection. It always is like
Speaker 1: I have enough life experience to look back and know that,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times what feels like criticism is
Speaker 1: often unhealed shame in ourselves asking to be seen. When
Speaker 1: you stop making other people's reactions mean something about your worth,
Speaker 1: you reclaim your energy and you learn to kind of
Speaker 1: witness instead of absorb, and to respond instead of react.
Speaker 1: And I think compassion becomes easier and peace becomes possible.
Speaker 1: So I just have let things move. What was your
Speaker 1: biggest struggle this year? What did it teach you? And
Speaker 1: I wrote I was carrying too much alone and holding
Speaker 1: myself to a pretty high standard while doing it. And
Speaker 1: I like high standards, but I don't know that I
Speaker 1: need to carry it alone anymore, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: navigate that this year. And I wrote a few other
Speaker 1: things like you can expand on these as much or
Speaker 1: as little as it comes to you. I also think
Speaker 1: that's actually one of the questions I asked chat GPT,
Speaker 1: because if you've been using it, you input so much
Speaker 1: about yourself, and so if you ask it, it can
Speaker 1: kind of spur ideas for you. Okay, what area of
Speaker 1: your life did you grow most in this year, I
Speaker 1: wrote bandwidth not sitting in hard feelings. I wrote that
Speaker 1: early versions of me moved quickly to outperform discomfort, and
Speaker 1: this year I started just staying and like letting the
Speaker 1: feelings move through me instead of rushing past them. What's
Speaker 1: one thing that I've been holding on to that you're
Speaker 1: ready to release? This is a big one, guys. This
Speaker 1: is a limiting belief I've had for quite some time
Speaker 1: that the executive coach actually helped me move through. And
Speaker 1: I wrote a limiting belief I have is that I
Speaker 1: can't have a partner that I am like obsessed with
Speaker 1: and my career at the same time. And one of
Speaker 1: the exercises she had me do in case this is
Speaker 1: helpful in terms of getting rid of your limiting beliefs,
Speaker 1: she had me write out examples of people either in
Speaker 1: my life that I knew or in media whose careers
Speaker 1: have actually flourished because of their partner and that sort
Speaker 1: of support, or examples of people whose relationships feel like
Speaker 1: very steady and connected and the thing that I'm looking
Speaker 1: for who poured into you this year that you want
Speaker 1: to think so this one is actually really cool. The
Speaker 1: people that you write my recommendation for you is to
Speaker 1: either write them a text, an email, or a handwritten
Speaker 1: note and it can be quick, and just thank them
Speaker 1: and specifically tell them what you are thanking them for.
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example. I had six people that
Speaker 1: came to my mind right away, but one of them
Speaker 1: is my friend Neha. And on our car ride, we
Speaker 1: took a car back from Santa Barbara from the Godmother's
Speaker 1: Bookstore event. It was probably like an hour and forty
Speaker 1: five minutes, and I'm always super conscious of not taking
Speaker 1: up too much airtime, like I really want to ask
Speaker 1: questions and have people feel heard and seen and listen to.
Speaker 1: And she let me talk for like forty five minutes
Speaker 1: straight because I was going through it and she just
Speaker 1: listened to me and she held space for me without judgment.
Speaker 1: It was so healing. I needed her and she didn't
Speaker 1: even know I needed her, and we were kind of
Speaker 1: new friends. I wrote her a text and said, I
Speaker 1: just want to thank you for that moment. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know how much it meant to me
Speaker 1: and how much I needed it. I think those go
Speaker 1: such a long way. Just let people know. Okay, what's
Speaker 1: one way you've contributed to others' lives. This year, I
Speaker 1: wrote time, I listened really attentively, even when it was
Speaker 1: exhausting or hard, and sometimes I didn't have a bandwidth,
Speaker 1: and I still tried, and then raising money for mong
Speaker 1: and I tried to contribute to Gloria's life too, because
Speaker 1: part of fellowship is not just them pouring into you,
Speaker 1: it's you trying to extend their legacy and pour into them. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we are. So now we've answered questions, we've kind
Speaker 1: of gotten into flow, we've free written a little bit,
Speaker 1: and now we're still free writing. But step two is
Speaker 1: free write your goals. So I'm not asking you any
Speaker 1: specific questions. I'm just throwing it out there whatever comes
Speaker 1: to your mind. And I've had a lot of writers
Speaker 1: tell me that it's important to use pen to paper,
Speaker 1: that something different comes out of you. I honestly didn't
Speaker 1: have that opportunity this year. I did all of this
Speaker 1: on a four hour plane ride to Nashville, and that's
Speaker 1: when I felt inspired. So do what works for you,
Speaker 1: but free write your goals. I wrote down certain people
Speaker 1: I wanted to interview. I'm launching two new card games
Speaker 1: this year, and so I want to successfully and impactfully
Speaker 1: launch those two card games and ID eight on three
Speaker 1: id as I have for new ones. I want to
Speaker 1: build Question Everything out into a fully sustainable company, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it alone. I have some
Speaker 1: ideas about vision and creatives I want to work with
Speaker 1: to help bring my vision to life, but I don't
Speaker 1: want to do it alone anymore. And when I say alone,
Speaker 1: I don't mean like the podcast. I mean the company,
Speaker 1: because there's a ton of beautiful people that put their
Speaker 1: hands and love into this podcast. Okay, I want to
Speaker 1: have meaningful moments with Gloria and I want to convene.
Speaker 1: Her living room is so special. I want to make
Speaker 1: more of those moments happen, and I think that they
Speaker 1: enrich a lot of people's lives and the reverberations are
Speaker 1: felt through the ether, and it's something that everybody can do.
Speaker 1: If you're interested in convening, just invite people to your space.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what it's like. Like Gloria, he's not
Speaker 1: into pompous circumstance. She doesn't have to put food out
Speaker 1: like it's just colm and hang and talk. I want
Speaker 1: to make a difference. You guys know, I freaking care
Speaker 1: about the world and the people in it. That's on
Speaker 1: my dating app profile that I made, which is another
Speaker 1: one of my goals i'll talk about. I have a
Speaker 1: plan for my social media and I'm going to try
Speaker 1: and get it really popping off. So if you listen
Speaker 1: to the pod and you don't follow me on social
Speaker 1: please do because you don't want to visit. I want
Speaker 1: to travel a little bit more internationally. I feel like
Speaker 1: India is calling me. I wrote down the amount of
Speaker 1: money I want to make this year. I want to
Speaker 1: get my health and my body back on track and
Speaker 1: make time in the morning for myself, no excuses. I
Speaker 1: need to carve out that time and be better with it,
Speaker 1: and not even be better. I'm carving out that time,
Speaker 1: no if ands or butts. I'm getting back to that.
Speaker 1: I prioritize my family this year, but I want to
Speaker 1: have some more intentionally memorable experiences with them, like novelty,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to prioritize finding an awesome partner. That's
Speaker 1: a big admission for me. I think I've said that
Speaker 1: in the past, not on this podcast, but in life,
Speaker 1: and I said it because I felt like I was
Speaker 1: supposed to want it and I didn't want it in
Speaker 1: my body now, I'm like, I'm ready. I really enjoyed
Speaker 1: being single. I loved my time and my space and
Speaker 1: dating and different people. But I'm ready. So I put
Speaker 1: that on there. And I was inspired by an author
Speaker 1: I interviewed named Laura Dave, and she has so many
Speaker 1: rituals around her writing, and so I'm going to have
Speaker 1: rituals for how I prep for my interviews, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to do it differently. I'm actually going to try
Speaker 1: and play music the way she does when she writes
Speaker 1: while I study, and I'm going to make it fun.
Speaker 1: I'm going to light candles. I'm going to have a
Speaker 1: whole ritual around preparation and carve out the time so
Speaker 1: that I'm not rushed. I want to conduct interviews that
Speaker 1: move the cultural needle, and I'm not going to give
Speaker 1: into the noise. I'm staying true to myself. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do salacious stuff because this has never been
Speaker 1: about that. It's always been about improving our lives and
Speaker 1: building community together, which is also a goal of mine.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm going to launch a WhatsApp
Speaker 1: group for us or how I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm figuring that out, But I'm going to do something
Speaker 1: because every time I meet you, guys, you're like the smartest,
Speaker 1: coolest group of women. Like you guys need to know
Speaker 1: each other if that's of interest to you, because I'm
Speaker 1: wondering what businesses could be built, what friendships could be created,
Speaker 1: Like there's so much, I think because we all have
Speaker 1: common interest because I feel that when I talk to you.
Speaker 1: Number three is the blueprint. So this is actually I
Speaker 1: think the first two are really important to warm up
Speaker 1: and reflect and get into the zone. Step three is
Speaker 1: your blueprint for the year. So I start out with
Speaker 1: a mantra or a reminder because the executive coach that
Speaker 1: I worked with that gave me this changed my life
Speaker 1: because last year my mantra was the hard part is over.
Speaker 1: And I sort of had this belief that I had
Speaker 1: to run myself into the ground in order to make
Speaker 1: something happen, to deserve it. I had to earn that
Speaker 1: by truly sweeping the floor. And I was exhausted, and
Speaker 1: she said, Danielle, you've been doing the work. What if
Speaker 1: the hard part is over? And I'd never even considered that,
Speaker 1: and so I wrote it, the hard part is over.
Speaker 1: The hard part is over, and I finally felt that
Speaker 1: this year, not that things weren't hard, but I didn't
Speaker 1: feel exhausted by the herd. And so the mantra is
Speaker 1: something not only that sets the tone for your blueprint
Speaker 1: and for your year, but it's something that you can
Speaker 1: come back to because it's easy to remember. You can
Speaker 1: put it on the background of your phone if you want.
Speaker 1: I actually do that. I change the background of my
Speaker 1: phone once a year, and I do it based on
Speaker 1: my blueprint, which I'll explain to you in a second.
Speaker 1: So my mantra this year is I'm worth the sparkle
Speaker 1: step into it. And I know that feels like really
Speaker 1: sort of I don't know the word sparkle, but here's
Speaker 1: what I mean. I want to feel like I am
Speaker 1: worth the first class seat on the airplane. I'm constantly
Speaker 1: trying to like save money and make things work, and
Speaker 1: sometimes even with companies, if they'll fly me in business class,
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no, we can save the money.
Speaker 1: It's fine, you know, Like I don't want to ever
Speaker 1: put people out and I don't want to be a burden,
Speaker 1: and I want to feel worth that. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that is in me, so I'm going to work
Speaker 1: on that. And I want to feel worth extra help
Speaker 1: at an event, you know, I want to feel like
Speaker 1: I worth buying a nice coat. I've been asking myself
Speaker 1: questions for years, and i feel like I'm really ready
Speaker 1: to step into some of the answers more and sharing
Speaker 1: them and saying the thing like being the person who
Speaker 1: shares some of the answers, and overall I'm allowed to
Speaker 1: want more and to let it in calmly. And I
Speaker 1: wrote down that I'm not stepping into something new, I'm
Speaker 1: claiming what's already mine. And I love this idea. I
Speaker 1: heard Gabby Bernstein say this that if you look at
Speaker 1: somebody and you have any sort of like who that
Speaker 1: looks nice, or like lust or envy, which I think
Speaker 1: sometimes gets a bad rap, it's not a negative word.
Speaker 1: It's like, you want that thing because it's already yours,
Speaker 1: you know, and your soul, it's meant for you. And
Speaker 1: so I'm just telling myself that I'm claiming what's already mine.
Speaker 1: And then the word of the year. I actually thought
Speaker 1: long and hard about this and I couldn't come up
Speaker 1: with a word, so I used chat GPT to help me.
Speaker 1: And I love the word that me and Chat came
Speaker 1: up with, which is sovereign. Here's why I think it
Speaker 1: fits everything I've written so far, emotionally, spiritually, and strategically.
Speaker 1: Last year I learned that nothing is personal, and so
Speaker 1: sovereignty is about emotional self rule. I still feel like
Speaker 1: I'm overextending myself a little bit, and sovereignty is about
Speaker 1: choosing where your energy goes. I'm finally ready to ask
Speaker 1: for bigger, bolder things without shrinking, and I think sovereignty
Speaker 1: is not asking for permission. I want partnership, and sovereignty
Speaker 1: can be deciding that I want wholeness without compromise. And
Speaker 1: I don't mean not compromise in relationship, but compromise what
Speaker 1: I want and what I'm looking for. I've been convening people, rooms, stories, communities.
Speaker 1: It's been one of the greatest gifts of the last year.
Speaker 1: I love it. And sovereignty says that I don't have
Speaker 1: to do it all myself anymore. It's not about hustle
Speaker 1: or optimizing. It's saying I choose, I trust myself, I
Speaker 1: let support in, I take the seat. I don't explain
Speaker 1: my worth. And one of the words that I used
Speaker 1: to describe twenty twenty five a few minutes ago was full,
Speaker 1: and twenty twenty six is going to be sovereign. It's
Speaker 1: the kind of power that doesn't rush, it lasts, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's how I think about my career because I'm
Speaker 1: kind of slow and steady wins the race. I want
Speaker 1: my career to last a long time. And I guess
Speaker 1: that's sovereignty, right. And so I actually took this a
Speaker 1: step further. And this isn't in the action plan or
Speaker 1: the worksheet, but I wrote sort of like a twenty
Speaker 1: twenty six personal constitution, and this is what I put
Speaker 1: on the back of my phone. So when I thought
Speaker 1: of sovereignty, I thought of a crown, right, and I
Speaker 1: love the boss yacht crown. So I took that yellow
Speaker 1: boss yacht crown. And in Adobe or Canva, you can
Speaker 1: do this and you just make a new background. So
Speaker 1: I put the boss yout crown and then I wrote
Speaker 1: my constitution on the bottom, which is I choose from home,
Speaker 1: not urgency. I do not earn my worth, I exercise it.
Speaker 1: I allow support, pleasure and partnership without guilt. I take
Speaker 1: the seat, the space and the pace that honors me.
Speaker 1: So if you want to write your personal constitution. I
Speaker 1: think an image is actually really powerful because you don't
Speaker 1: always have time when you look down at your phone
Speaker 1: to like read everything, but the image reminds you of
Speaker 1: the feeling that you want, and I think that's really cool.
Speaker 1: So I want sovereignty over my time, my body. I
Speaker 1: feel like I've paid the price for some of the
Speaker 1: hustle over the last few years. I had my panels
Speaker 1: done and I had some high cholesterol. I'm not moving
Speaker 1: the same way. Workouts are not as great, and I'm
Speaker 1: getting my health back this year. I am not going
Speaker 1: to abandon my body, and I want sovereignty over my voice.
Speaker 1: And so I think one of the ways I'm going
Speaker 1: to do this is having that morning ritual and really
Speaker 1: doing that ten to fifteen minute Joe Despenza work and
Speaker 1: visualization and making that promise because I think also making
Speaker 1: promises to yourself and keeping them is a really important
Speaker 1: part of confidence. I want to do that for this.
Speaker 1: The next part is what do I want to feel
Speaker 1: like at the end of the year. And this is
Speaker 1: something I added because a very wise person said to me,
Speaker 1: you can write down all your goals. You can have
Speaker 1: all these intentions and do all the things. Say your
Speaker 1: goal is to feel peaceful, and you write down all
Speaker 1: these intentions, and at the end of the year you're
Speaker 1: constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked. I don't know that you fulfilled
Speaker 1: your intention. So I think it's really important to look
Speaker 1: ahead to the next year and think what do I
Speaker 1: want to feel. I actually am not craving peace. I
Speaker 1: feel like I have a good amount of that right now.
Speaker 1: What I'm craving is to feel fulfilled, to feel proud
Speaker 1: of myself personally and professionally, like I kept my promises,
Speaker 1: and to have a little more fun this year. I
Speaker 1: want to feel like I remember my year and remember
Speaker 1: my life. And I think some of that is like novelty,
Speaker 1: new memories. And I've moved so many trips that I've
Speaker 1: planned personally because work comes up and like I don't
Speaker 1: want to do that, I want to take the trip.
Speaker 1: The next part is pick a song to remind you
Speaker 1: of this. I actually think this is so underratedly important
Speaker 1: because I'll give you an example. I had to go
Speaker 1: to a funeral this weekend. It was in Nashville, and
Speaker 1: in order to get this podcast episode edited in time,
Speaker 1: I had to get it to the editor by a
Speaker 1: certain date. So if I didn't record it tonight, it
Speaker 1: wasn't going to happen. And I wasn't in the mood.
Speaker 1: And I have to be in the mood to give
Speaker 1: it my best. And I always want to give you
Speaker 1: guys my best. I show up as my best self
Speaker 1: all the time here because I like do things to
Speaker 1: put myself in that position for recording. And I chose
Speaker 1: this song for this year, and I put it on.
Speaker 1: I made some tea with mint and lemon and honey,
Speaker 1: and I got into the mindset just the way like
Speaker 1: a shower or a bath can switch your mood, a
Speaker 1: song can switch your mood so quickly. And so if
Speaker 1: you feel like you are not living up to whatever
Speaker 1: you've written down, or you're not feeling like yourself, or
Speaker 1: you want to feel more x Y and Z, put
Speaker 1: your song on. Okay, So my word is sovereignty. I
Speaker 1: felt like I needed a song that signified power, and
Speaker 1: not power in a gross selfish way, but power in
Speaker 1: a way that made me feel emboldened and powerful so
Speaker 1: I could give my best to everybody. I hate that
Speaker 1: I chose Power by Kanye West, because Kanye West is
Speaker 1: just truly the grossest anti Semite and just a horrible person.
Speaker 1: But the song I loved. I think he's a good
Speaker 1: musician and the song amped me up. I'm not gonna lie,
Speaker 1: So my dad will probably hate that I chose that song,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if he listens to my podcast anyways.
Speaker 1: And I wrote down a few quotes like Tony Morrison.
Speaker 1: Power is not given to you. You have to take it.
Speaker 1: And then there's an African proverb that says, if you
Speaker 1: want to go fast, go alone. If you want to
Speaker 1: go far, go to get and Simon Sinek says, the
Speaker 1: moment you understand that you can create more leaders, not
Speaker 1: more followers, you understand power. This is also not in
Speaker 1: the action plan because I don't think it's absolutely necessary.
Speaker 1: If you listen to the podcast, you get extra stuff.
Speaker 1: But I did write a question to ask myself if
Speaker 1: I felt conflicted. For instance, one of the things is
Speaker 1: sovereignty over my time. So I wrote down, say I
Speaker 1: get an incoming invitation or an email or an obligation.
Speaker 1: Am I choosing this from alignment or from obligation? Does
Speaker 1: this expand me or contract me? And in order to
Speaker 1: say yes or no, I'm going to ask myself those questions. Okay,
Speaker 1: then there's a section to say questions I keep coming
Speaker 1: back to, And I use this as ways to decipher
Speaker 1: what you want to do and what you don't want
Speaker 1: to do. So I'll use myself as an example. I
Speaker 1: want sovereignty this year. I want sovereignty over my time
Speaker 1: in particular. So one of the questions I wrote for
Speaker 1: myself is does this expand me or contract me? Am
Speaker 1: I choosing this from alignment or from obligation? That way,
Speaker 1: I have sort of guardrails in place, so I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to make rash decisions or start over every time
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make a plan or a decision. Do
Speaker 1: I want to do this? Do I not? It's much
Speaker 1: easier when you have a question that you can come
Speaker 1: back to that sort of gives you that answer every time.
Speaker 1: You know, Okay, an accountability partner? Do you want one?
Speaker 1: If so, who will it be? Last year I had one.
Speaker 1: My friend Rachel was my accountability partner, and we sort
Speaker 1: of petered out. I'm not gonna lie. We were really
Speaker 1: good at the beginning, and then we didn't have check
Speaker 1: ins monthly or quarterly. I think this year I don't
Speaker 1: want one. I'm going to be my own accountability partner,
Speaker 1: and that's part of my work because I want to
Speaker 1: keep promises to myself in terms of sovereignty over my
Speaker 1: time and my body and my commitments, etc. And so
Speaker 1: for me, I want to do that part alone. But
Speaker 1: a lot of times accountability partners are awesome. And so
Speaker 1: if you're in the mood for one, do it with
Speaker 1: somebody and then celebrations. How will I celebrate milestones along
Speaker 1: the way your brain needs micro winds to build momentum.
Speaker 1: The next thing is set goals with intention, and you're
Speaker 1: going to pick three main areas of growth. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to go into the exact ways that I filled
Speaker 1: this out because I don't want to bore you guys,
Speaker 1: but I will tell you that in order to fill
Speaker 1: this out in the best possible way, I've written down
Speaker 1: a bunch of different areas which everyone stand out to
Speaker 1: you immediately. That's what you need to write down, because
Speaker 1: that's what your body is telling you is important to
Speaker 1: you this year. It can be love, finance, career, health,
Speaker 1: personal development, spiritual growth, relationships, community impact, creativity, adventure, travel, time, management, environment, leadership, influencer,
Speaker 1: so many different categories. You'll see the three that stand
Speaker 1: out to you. That is what you need to focus on.
Speaker 1: And I think it's really important to remember as you're
Speaker 1: filling this out, writing things down makes them forty two
Speaker 1: percent more likely to happen. Okay, most people try to
Speaker 1: change fourteen things fifteen things at once, and a great
Speaker 1: plan asks what are three things that would change everything
Speaker 1: if I focused on them consistently. We want clarity over volume,
Speaker 1: three main buckets per year, and I swear you will
Speaker 1: get so much further. We have the main area of growth,
Speaker 1: and then we put our measure metric right. So we
Speaker 1: want systems that will actually work for us because I
Speaker 1: think will power dies and systems keep you going. So
Speaker 1: when you are filling out the steps to create movement
Speaker 1: and filling out the system part, think about things that
Speaker 1: you can realistically implement that are going to get you
Speaker 1: closer to your goal. We have a pie in the
Speaker 1: sky element. That's not what I'm looking for. I want
Speaker 1: real steps, right, So here's an example. This is not
Speaker 1: mine this year, but if you're me measurement is financial health. Okay,
Speaker 1: and you have a number, Here are steps to realistically
Speaker 1: create movement. Putting bills on auto transfer, doing X, Y
Speaker 1: and Z as a side hustle, like things that you
Speaker 1: can become disciplined about so that you don't rely on
Speaker 1: like future you magically making this happen. You're building in
Speaker 1: rails and practices. I'll tell you what buckets I chose.
Speaker 1: I chose partnership, love, I chose career, and I chose health.
Speaker 1: So how about I go for health. To give you
Speaker 1: an example, I want to feel hot. I haven't felt
Speaker 1: hot this year. I felt like old.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. I looked in the mirror and
Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe I'm just not hot anymore. And I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get hot again. I'm gonna do it, and I'm
Speaker 2: gonna feel healthy. And I care about longevity.
Speaker 1: I heard Peter Atilla talk about how he's not training
Speaker 1: for triathlons or marathons anymore. He said he's training for
Speaker 1: his senior decathlon last ten years of life, his nineties,
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm training for. I want longevity, I
Speaker 1: want tone, I want my labs to be good, and
Speaker 1: my measure metric. I actually went to a specific weight,
Speaker 1: which I've never done because sometimes that in the past
Speaker 1: has triggered like not good thoughts for me around food,
Speaker 1: but I think I can do it this year. That
Speaker 1: didn't feel icky, so I wrote it down. I wrote,
Speaker 1: I want to feel strong and I want to feel
Speaker 1: really good in my workouts, like I'm making progress and sweating.
Speaker 1: My measure metric is also going to be my labs.
Speaker 1: I'm going to get my cholesterol down and steps to
Speaker 1: create movement. I hired a nutritionist and not consistently. I
Speaker 1: don't want to pay for that. I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: I hired one for three sessions and I'm going to
Speaker 1: get the plan in place. I might do a meal
Speaker 1: delivery service. I'm working on that. I am working with
Speaker 1: a trainer, and I'm going to be consistent, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to take walks three times a week at night
Speaker 1: at least, especially on the days that I don't have
Speaker 1: a trainer. And the pie in the sky element that's
Speaker 1: like something incredible happens. It actually feels good and isn't hard.
Speaker 1: That's the pie in the sky, like it just sort
Speaker 1: of happens naturally with my goals and my plan in place.
Speaker 1: And my deadline is not December thirty first, My deadline
Speaker 1: is June first, twenty twenty six. I think you probably
Speaker 1: get the pictures, so I don't have to share with
Speaker 1: you necessarily like specific career metrics or partnership metrics, but
Speaker 1: those are my three. I'll give you a good pie
Speaker 1: in the sky for partnership. I am really going to
Speaker 1: try to call it in. And the pie in the
Speaker 1: sky element is I wake up and I meet him tomorrow.
Speaker 1: It's easy. It's more than I ever thought I asked
Speaker 1: for or could find. He sweeps me off my feet.
Speaker 1: That's pie in the sky. It might be harder than that,
Speaker 1: but I think it's important to put all of that down.
Speaker 1: So whatever those are for you, make sure that you
Speaker 1: really think about those. If you don't do anything else,
Speaker 1: do step three. Step three is your blueprint, Okay, Step
Speaker 1: four is under it? What will you do when? And
Speaker 1: the reason I have this is based on a lot
Speaker 1: of things I read with Tony Robbins, in particular, if
Speaker 1: you have big, lofty things on your mind, and there's
Speaker 1: sort of the idea of health, partnership and career, those
Speaker 1: are all really sort of broad, right, And even though
Speaker 1: we have steps to create the plan and measure metrics,
Speaker 1: if you don't put them on a calendar and say
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this, write down when you're going
Speaker 1: to do things want. It can get overwhelming because you're like,
Speaker 1: I can't do this all right away. And two I
Speaker 1: think what happens, honestly is people really overestimate what they
Speaker 1: can do in a year and underestimate what they can
Speaker 1: do in five years. So part of calendaring is like,
Speaker 1: let me not underestimate myself or overestimate and make myself nuts.
Speaker 1: Let me write down what I want to do when,
Speaker 1: when I'm going to launch certain card games, because each
Speaker 1: month can be sort of a focus for you. That
Speaker 1: part has really helped me. Okay, we're at step five.
Speaker 1: Questions if this year were your masterpiece, what would you
Speaker 1: create For the interest of time, I think I'll just
Speaker 1: share the most interesting ones. But this is where you've
Speaker 1: done the hard part. Step three and four was the
Speaker 1: hard part. Step five is living in everything you have
Speaker 1: just set forth for yourself. So what limiting belief are
Speaker 1: you ready to let go of and how will releasing
Speaker 1: it transform your life? Is there anyone in your life
Speaker 1: you can offer forgiveness to? Today I wrote down everybody
Speaker 1: I've wronged or have been wronged by. I just want
Speaker 1: to let it go. I'm like an elephant. I remember everything,
Speaker 1: and I decided this year, I'm not going into the
Speaker 1: new year holding any grudges. I'm at neutral. What areas
Speaker 1: of your life need decluttering and how can you simplify
Speaker 1: to create more joy, more space for joy. I think
Speaker 1: you can always declutter for me. This year, I'm going
Speaker 1: to think about text messages mostly. Last year I had
Speaker 1: a big throw out in my closet, which really helped.
Speaker 1: But this year I want to declutter technology wise. What's
Speaker 1: one way you can step into greater courage in your
Speaker 1: daily life. What's one thing you've been afraid to say
Speaker 1: out loud about your dreams? Say it now? Say it
Speaker 1: out loud, even if you're by yourself. One thing that
Speaker 1: you want to learn quit, try, have, start, and continue
Speaker 1: to do. I wrote I want to learn nutrition. I
Speaker 1: want to fully understand what I'm putting in my body
Speaker 1: like Macro's micros. I don't know any of that. I'm
Speaker 1: going to learn. One thing I want to quit is
Speaker 1: wasting time on meetings and calls. I don't need to
Speaker 1: be on. I want to try partnership. I want to
Speaker 1: have a full team. I want to start feeling worth
Speaker 1: the next level of stuff, all the good stuff in life.
Speaker 1: I want to feel worthy of it, and I want
Speaker 1: to continue to make my parents proud, make myself proud.
Speaker 1: And I wrote make money and be a boss ass bitch.
Speaker 1: So I actually wasn't going to read you that part
Speaker 1: because I was like, that sounds so crazy. But I
Speaker 1: promise to be honest. So that's what I wrote. What's
Speaker 1: one thing you've putting off that you will accomplish this year?
Speaker 1: Building question everything into a real brand. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: that this year. I read some books on branding, on product,
Speaker 1: on retail, and it's gonna happen and what would happen
Speaker 1: if you really focused on it? I wrote that the
Speaker 1: things I want would come to fruition. There is nothing
Speaker 1: stopping me except for me. There is no one standing
Speaker 1: in my way. There is no person giving me the
Speaker 1: heisman saying don't go left, don't go right. I'm the
Speaker 1: only person stopping me. I'm not stopping me. What does
Speaker 1: your daily ideal routine look like? This is a really
Speaker 1: big one for me this year because of that morning
Speaker 1: routine and my health. So I said, I'm gonna wake
Speaker 1: up at six am. I'm gonna make coffee, which means
Speaker 1: I need to buy a coffee maker, because I've been
Speaker 1: going out to walk and get my coffee, and in
Speaker 1: order to speed this up, I need to buy a
Speaker 1: coffee maker. I need to go sit outside or on
Speaker 1: my couch and do my fifteen minute Joe despense of visualization.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna work out at seven am, and then I'm
Speaker 1: going to start my day, and the mornings are mine.
Speaker 1: I wrote the more are Mind period. What boundaries do
Speaker 1: need to set or strengthen to protect your energy and peace?
Speaker 1: What's one change you can make this year to take
Speaker 1: better care of yourself? Can you raise your standards in
Speaker 1: any area of your life? I said, yes, you know
Speaker 1: this is hard for me. I'll give you the background.
Speaker 1: I came from a family that doesn't believe in things
Speaker 1: or stuff, and I still believe that. I'm truly not
Speaker 1: into things. I don't think they make you happy. I'm
Speaker 1: never going to be like selling you on a bunch
Speaker 1: of stuff you don't need. I only share things that
Speaker 1: really have impacted and proved my life. On one side
Speaker 1: of my family, my grandfather was a depression baby, and
Speaker 1: on the other side, my grandmother was a Holocaust survivor,
Speaker 1: and both sides are like, you don't need things right,
Speaker 1: Like things can be taken away. It's a waste of money.
Speaker 1: And I realized that luxury isn't things. That's not what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to step into. I'm trying to raise the
Speaker 1: standards in my life in terms of what I'm willing
Speaker 1: to give myself part of that worth thing. Right, Like
Speaker 1: when I was at Gloria's house for one of the
Speaker 1: talking circles, I was sitting right next to her and
Speaker 1: I was leading, I was moderating and hosting the event,
Speaker 1: and there was a person that was sitting sort of
Speaker 1: behind me that I could tell like wasn't totally in
Speaker 1: the circle. And I was going to give up my
Speaker 1: seat so that she could sit there. And that's very
Speaker 1: me to do, Like that's my first instinct. And then
Speaker 1: I thought, Danielle, take up space, sit in the seat.
Speaker 1: She's fine. And that's part of my mantra this year.
Speaker 1: I'm going to raise the standards for myself in what
Speaker 1: I feel worthy of. What's one thing you can do
Speaker 1: this year that your future self will thank you for?
Speaker 1: I wrote to be brave with my heart. I realized
Speaker 1: this year that part of my being single and like
Speaker 1: wanting to be alone actually stemmed from a relationship that
Speaker 1: I was in in my twenties. It ended. I think
Speaker 1: I've talked about it on the podcast. It like definitely
Speaker 1: spun me into a cute depression and triggered childhood wounds. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it was the best and worlds thing that could have
Speaker 1: ever happened to me. I think I was hurt so
Speaker 1: badly and I was in so much pain that I
Speaker 1: never wanted to feel that way again. And I've probably
Speaker 1: avoided relationship because of that. And it seems so obvious
Speaker 1: saying it out loud, but I didn't realize it. I
Speaker 1: actually realized it because a friend of mine is going
Speaker 1: through a hard time and I went over to her apartment.
Speaker 1: She was telling me about this guy that she's dating.
Speaker 1: I think women in particular, people in general, but we
Speaker 1: see ourselves in other people's experiences, and so I was
Speaker 1: honest with her about my experiences with that guy, and
Speaker 1: she was like, oh my god, it's the same. There's
Speaker 1: so many patterns and things that were the same, And
Speaker 1: as I was telling her about them, I realized how
Speaker 1: some of it was emotionally abusive. And so manipulative, and
Speaker 1: I just like took a second and was like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: that was hard and I didn't see it for myself.
Speaker 1: I saw it in her. And once I saw it
Speaker 1: in her, I went home and I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to be brave again. I've taken myself out of
Speaker 1: the game. What's one thing you want to be able
Speaker 1: to say you can do a year from now that
Speaker 1: you can't do yet? Want to run a company and
Speaker 1: understand the financials in the back end. I understand everything now,
Speaker 1: but I haven't put everything in practice and in place yet.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to do that this year. I'm going
Speaker 1: to learn how to manage a p and l okay.
Speaker 1: Name someone who makes you feel seen and understood what
Speaker 1: they do to offer you that. I wrote some of
Speaker 1: my friend's names, Steve Carlston. He really makes me feel
Speaker 1: like I'm just good enough being me. Can you replicate
Speaker 1: any of those things to offer it to others? I
Speaker 1: said absolutely, and wrote how who in your life will
Speaker 1: you listen to more attentively? This year? I wrote you?
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds funny. Rick Rubin is a
Speaker 1: creative that if you haven't read his book called The
Speaker 1: Creative act. It's great. His mind is like, build it,
Speaker 1: and they will come. Build. Create what you are interested in,
Speaker 1: and people will be interested too. And I've always kind
Speaker 1: of lived by that. I guess a lot of these
Speaker 1: podcasts were things I was interested in, and I figured
Speaker 1: you would be too. But our community's big enough now
Speaker 1: that I think I can get real feedback from you
Speaker 1: and try to serve you better. And so I'm going
Speaker 1: to listen to you more attentively. Who do you want
Speaker 1: to show up for? More intentionally? In the new year,
Speaker 1: I wrote my brother and myself, what's one adventure you're
Speaker 1: going to take this year? I'm going to India. I'm
Speaker 1: doing it. I'm taking the trip. If next year is
Speaker 1: a blank page, what is the title of the first chapter?
Speaker 1: I wrote, Welcome to the good Life. If your life
Speaker 1: could look exactly the way you wanted it to a
Speaker 1: year from now, what would be different? And I said,
Speaker 1: a little bit more time with my parents, I would
Speaker 1: have a loving partner that I'm so excited about and
Speaker 1: obsessed with. Question everything will feel like it's in a
Speaker 1: different place and thriving and feeding people. Because I deeply
Speaker 1: believe in the power of connection. I actually have something
Speaker 1: fun planned for you. Guys. I've been doing an intense
Speaker 1: deep dive and I have some research to share with you,
Speaker 1: and I want to feel like money. What's one risk
Speaker 1: you're willing to take in the coming year to move
Speaker 1: closer to your dreams? I said, I'm willing to be
Speaker 1: sad and lonely and to go on dates and feel
Speaker 1: like they're bad to be brave. Okay, Where am I
Speaker 1: talking about change instead of taking action toward it? I
Speaker 1: wrote that same place in my love life for sure?
Speaker 1: Where am I settling for fine when I'm capable of
Speaker 1: phenomenal brand building? In question everything? I've just not had
Speaker 1: the bandwidth, and I'm going to make it a priority
Speaker 1: this year. What's one area of your life where you
Speaker 1: feel called to dream bigger? I said, partnership, give it
Speaker 1: all to me? Who inspires you? Whose life do you want?
Speaker 1: This is such an awesome question. I got this from
Speaker 1: Susie Welch, who is actually going to be on the
Speaker 1: podcast next week. It's an incredible episode. She's an incredible
Speaker 1: inspiring person. She is one of the people whose life
Speaker 1: looks good to me, and I'll tell you why next week.
Speaker 1: But I think this is a really cool exercise because
Speaker 1: I want you to write down what about their life
Speaker 1: looks good and what about their life you don't want.
Speaker 1: And if you do three, you can even do six.
Speaker 1: You are going to see similarities and you're going to
Speaker 1: understand what you want and why much more clearly and
Speaker 1: who you are. Right. I was interested to see that
Speaker 1: a lot of the women that I wrote down, like
Speaker 1: I wrote down Evrodsky, I wrote down Susie Welch, I
Speaker 1: wrote down Hillary Clinton, I wrote down one of my
Speaker 1: mom's friends, and a lot of these women. What they
Speaker 1: have in common is they are change makers within their communities,
Speaker 1: making the world a better place. Even if my world
Speaker 1: is small, whatever my world is what lights me up
Speaker 1: and is a value of mine or a virtue. And
Speaker 1: so I knew that about myself, but I actually didn't
Speaker 1: articulate it, and I didn't know that was a through
Speaker 1: line until I saw that all these women had it.
Speaker 1: So write that out for you. Do you admire someone
Speaker 1: because they're unabashably themselves? Do you admire someone because they
Speaker 1: have a book, or they've built a com unity, whatever
Speaker 1: it is like, just be honest. Okay, now think about
Speaker 1: yourself at your eighty fifth birthday? What would make you
Speaker 1: cry of sadness and break your heart if you realize
Speaker 1: you never did it? I wrote down kids. Honestly, that
Speaker 1: answer to my question spurred everything else, because that's when
Speaker 1: I realized that I needed to focus on partnership. I
Speaker 1: do not want to be crying at my eighty fifth birthday.
Speaker 1: I want to be celebrating. What would you do this
Speaker 1: next year if you knew you could not fail? I
Speaker 1: love this question because the idea of failing is what
Speaker 1: stops us. It's just so true. If we take that
Speaker 1: off the table, what would we do? What's one thing
Speaker 1: I'm doing now that absolutely does not serve the person
Speaker 1: I'm becoming? And am I willing to release it? I
Speaker 1: think that second part is really important. Are you willing
Speaker 1: to release it? I wrote Playing Small and I am
Speaker 1: ready to release it? And why am I ready? This year?
Speaker 1: That's the next question, because I've earned it and that
Speaker 1: was hard for me to write and hard for me
Speaker 1: to say. But the hard part is over. I'm telling
Speaker 1: myself and I'm stepping into the sparkle. So I have
Speaker 1: gone through mine my action plan before I tell you
Speaker 1: a story to end this, I'm going to tell you
Speaker 1: that I looked at my twenty twenty five action plan.
Speaker 1: It's fun to fill these out every year because you
Speaker 1: have like a record of everything that happened, all the
Speaker 1: places you traveled, the people you meet, the hard things
Speaker 1: you went through, because we forget right. So I've been
Speaker 1: doing this since twenty twenty three, I think, not this
Speaker 1: exact action plan, but versions of this since twenty twenty actually,
Speaker 1: and then this exact action plan the last three years.
Speaker 1: And I looked at my twenty twenty five to one
Speaker 1: and I hadn't revisited it in a while, which I'm
Speaker 1: actually going to do more of this year. I'm going
Speaker 1: to look at my goals more. But I set the
Speaker 1: intentions in twenty twenty five and some of them haven't
Speaker 1: come to fruition yet, because I do think sometimes you
Speaker 1: set an attention and it takes multiple years to come
Speaker 1: your way. But some of them did, and I didn't
Speaker 1: even realize I set the intention. I forgot that I
Speaker 1: set it. I had something so specific, I had film
Speaker 1: and Netflix pilot and I did it this year, and
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. By the way, it's not going anywhere,
Speaker 1: the pilot's dead, but I filmed it. I forgot that
Speaker 1: I even said that. And so it's so cool to
Speaker 1: have a record of what your heart, your body, your
Speaker 1: subconscious is wanting, and to a year from now see
Speaker 1: how you've taken steps towards that, sometimes unknowingly, very very cool. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to leave you with two things, a story
Speaker 1: and then a wish for you. And the story's short.
Speaker 1: So I've thought about luck a lot, and mostly because
Speaker 1: I hear a lot of successful people talk about luck.
Speaker 1: How much of your life is self determination? How much
Speaker 1: is happenstance or coincidence or luck? Write that word and
Speaker 1: if you feel lucky, do you get more lucky? How
Speaker 1: does that work? And years ago I watched David Letterman
Speaker 1: interview with Obama. They were talking about luck, and when
Speaker 1: Obama talks about it almost feels like a tool for humility,
Speaker 1: which I think is beautiful. When I heard him talk
Speaker 1: about it, that's when I really started thinking about luck
Speaker 1: in a different way. And the best idea I've ever
Speaker 1: read about it is from Alex Benayan's book called The
Speaker 1: Third Door, and he interviewed a ton of successful people
Speaker 1: about how they became successful. He was on the search
Speaker 1: for success, and he interviewed this guy, Sheilu, and she
Speaker 1: grew up in a rural village outside of Shanghai, China,
Speaker 1: with no running water or electricity, Like the village was
Speaker 1: so poor that people suffered deformities from malnutrition, and there
Speaker 1: were hundreds of kids but only one school teacher. And
Speaker 1: at age twenty seven, Sheilu was making the most money
Speaker 1: he'd ever earned, which was seven dollars a month. Okay,
Speaker 1: at twenty seven. So fast forward twenty years. He's the
Speaker 1: president of online Services at Microsoft, and his story is
Speaker 1: nearly unbelievable, like I don't want to ruin it because
Speaker 1: Alex's book is so good. But towards the end of
Speaker 1: the interview, Alex is in near disbelief as so much
Speaker 1: of she's life seems to have been coincidence or luck.
Speaker 1: And Alex says to him, like, how do you make
Speaker 1: sense of all of this? And she says that he
Speaker 1: believes that it's not completely random. Luck is like a bus.
Speaker 1: If you miss one, there is always the next one,
Speaker 1: but if you're not prepared aka not at the bus station,
Speaker 1: you won't be able to jump on. We have to
Speaker 1: put ourselves in positions to get lucky, to be at
Speaker 1: the bus stop. And if you miss a bus, it's okay,
Speaker 1: another one will come. But if you are not at
Speaker 1: the bus stop, you will never catch one. And that
Speaker 1: is how I think about luck and my life. And
Speaker 1: I just think, if you remind yourself, luck is like
Speaker 1: a bus. Be at the bus station. That's what this
Speaker 1: whole action plan is about. It's about getting yourself to
Speaker 1: the bus station. I've spoken into definitely over one hundred
Speaker 1: people from the podcast this year on zooms and Google
Speaker 1: meets and you know, virtual stuff, and almost everybody that
Speaker 1: I talk to tells me about something that they want,
Speaker 1: whether it's like a family goal or mostly a career goal.
Speaker 1: We talk about career a lot on the pod, which
Speaker 1: is probably part of it. But the thing they come
Speaker 1: to me with is they say, Danielle, I don't know
Speaker 1: what I want. I don't know what my purpose is
Speaker 1: or how to get there. And after I ask a
Speaker 1: few questions, I realize pretty quickly they know exactly what
Speaker 1: they want, and they just are scared to take the
Speaker 1: leap to do the out of the box thing because
Speaker 1: it's scary and we all have different childhood stuff that's
Speaker 1: holding us back. Right, I just say this all to
Speaker 1: say that my wish for you this year is if
Speaker 1: you want something, go get it. Nobody is standing in
Speaker 1: your way, and you are going to be so proud
Speaker 1: of yourself. And it can be something so small. You
Speaker 1: want to better a certain relationship, you want to be
Speaker 1: a better communicator, a better listener. It can be a virtue,
Speaker 1: or it can be something really fucking big. Whatever that
Speaker 1: is for you, write it down. Like I said, you
Speaker 1: are forty two percent more likely to make it happen
Speaker 1: if you write it down. Everybody says so it's a
Speaker 1: real stat and go make it happen. You can do it.
Speaker 1: I really believe in you. I believe in you the
Speaker 1: way that I believe in me. If you want it,
Speaker 1: go get it. Guys. I love you, I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: for you, and I'm wishing you a beautiful, healthy, happy, joyful,
Speaker 1: adventurous twenty twenty six, full of light and full of
Speaker 1: everything you are craving most. I'll see you next year. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what time it is. Today's a good day
Speaker 1: to have a good day. I'll see you next week.
Speaker 1: Shop shopping shot ba