1 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: What do you do in life doesn't go according to plan? 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,680 Speaker 1: That moment you lose the job, or a loved one, 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: or even a piece of yourself. I'm Brookshields and this 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: is now What, a podcast about pivotal moments as told 5 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: by people who lived them. Each week, I sit down 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: with a guest to talk about the times they were 7 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: knocked off course and what they did to move forward. 8 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:33,240 Speaker 1: Some stories are funny, others are cut wrenching, but all 9 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: are unapologetically human and remind us that every success and 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: every setback is accompanied by a choice, and that choice 11 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 1: answers one question. Now what I remember like waking up 12 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: one morning and there was like a gentleman who had 13 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: slept over, and um, there there was a rat in 14 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: my kitchen. And I was like, this is an better 15 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: than the opposite, belater than the rat being in your 16 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: bed and him actually true? Yeah, I mean come on, yeah, 17 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: it would be It would actually be way worth to 18 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: find a rat in your bed and then like a 19 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: guy in your kitchen. That would be danger. But anyway, 20 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: a gentleman though he was a gentleman. You just said 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: he was a gentleman, so perfect, nice person, not going 22 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 1: to be my boyfriend. Hello, and welcome back to another 23 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: season of Now What. My team and I took a 24 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: few weeks off to recharge, and while it was very 25 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: nice to get some rest, I really missed sharing these 26 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:39,320 Speaker 1: interviews with all of you each week. Fortunately, I think 27 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: my guest today was very much worth the weight. Jenny Slate. 28 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: She's a writer and actor and a comedian. You might 29 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: also know her as the co creator and voice of 30 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: the newly Oscar nominated sensation Marcelf Shell with Shoes on. 31 00:01:55,880 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: Jenny is a breath of fresh air. She's authentic, she's open, 32 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: and as you're here in just a minute, she is 33 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: more than willing to talk about her many now What 34 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: moments and all that she's learned from them. I am 35 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,799 Speaker 1: so thrilled to bring you all a piece of her 36 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: story and hope that you'll come to adore her as 37 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: I do. So. Here is Jenny Slate. M. Jenny Slate, Hi, 38 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I 39 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: was so happy when I knew that you said you 40 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: said yes to doing it. I was shocked. I was 41 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: shocked and excited that you would like me to be 42 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: here speaking to you. Are you kidding? I'm such a 43 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: huge fan. Um. And first of all, before congratulations on 44 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: an Oscar nomination. Where were you when you heard when 45 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: you got the news? Um? Thank you? And I was 46 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: in bed. I was asleep finally after a night of 47 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: many wake ups with my little babe, and so I 48 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,399 Speaker 1: had just gotten to sleep, and I saw all these 49 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: messages flickering on my phone, but they were all text messages, 50 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: and I just sort of thought, I think if it 51 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: were good news, somebody would have called. I just think 52 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: it's a lot of apologies, Like I think it's my 53 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: It was my sisters, and I was like, it's them, 54 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: being like, this is actually just the start of your career, 55 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: don't worry your was something like that. I remember when 56 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: it first came out. I was so immediately in love 57 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: with Marcel. I just my daughters and I. It was 58 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: as if we couldn't we just couldn't get enough, couldn't 59 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: get enough of it. And um, it's funny because I 60 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: don't know if you've met Ariana Grande, but she would 61 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: practically only do an imitation of Marcel. She did everything. 62 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: Everything she answered you, she would talk in herself voice. 63 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: Because it was around the time I was working with 64 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: her brother on something and I would have dinner with 65 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: the mom and the kids, and it was so cute 66 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: and so funny, and she did quite quite a good invitation. 67 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: Let me get this straight. You're saying that Ariana Grande 68 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: that she knows about Marcel to Shell, she knows about 69 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: it and would do an invitation of it. So it 70 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: was really kind of kind of sweet love that where 71 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: the character of Marcell come from. Well, you know, what's 72 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 1: weird is like to answer that question, Like, first of all, 73 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: it like it just was a not even a private joke, 74 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: just a random joke. Just imagine if there was something 75 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: that you were doing with your friend and and suddenly 76 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: like it caught on in a way that we didn't 77 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: We didn't even have an example for that at the time, 78 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: the way that things can catch on now and kind 79 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: of a viral way. And um, but at the time, 80 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: I was doing a funny voice over a weekend while 81 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: Dean and I were with some friends. Dean Fleischer Camp 82 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,919 Speaker 1: the director of the film, co writer, co creator and 83 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: also my ex husband. We were a couple. Then we 84 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: were at a wedding and I had been on SNL 85 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 1: for a year. But like you know, you get paid 86 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: sag scale. You're not like making big bucks or anything. 87 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: And I had not saved any money because thirty rock 88 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: is in the same building as like anthropology, and at 89 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: the time I was like, whoa, Like, I have my 90 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: literally my first paycheck other than being you know, a 91 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: waitress or a nanny or I made a cassade commercial, 92 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: like a couple of years before then. I had bit 93 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: parts on TV shows, but I had never had a 94 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: consistent income. I was not responsible with it. Also had 95 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: no savings. So we were sharing a hotel room with 96 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: four other friends and I felt really squished and I 97 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: started talking in like this tiny voice, and Dean was like, 98 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: you know, I forgot to make the video for our 99 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: friends comedy show. Can I interview you in that voice? 100 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: And then maybe I'll make something like I'll animate something 101 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: or something. He didn't even really know, and so he 102 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: and he interviewed me in that voice, and it kind 103 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: of came out that maybe I was small and it 104 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: was a character kind of talking about their social life. 105 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: Like one of the first things Marcella Ever says is 106 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: that like he didn't clean up and that his house 107 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 1: is messy because he invited some friends from upstate to 108 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: come eat salad just did not make its way into 109 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 1: the feature film. Um, but then hearing all that audio, 110 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: he was like, Okay, I think I could probably put 111 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: together the physicality of this. And he had a lot 112 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: of different like crafts stuff, and he went to the 113 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: toy store in our neighborhood in Brooklyn and bought kind 114 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: of like a Polly Pocket rip off and helped my 115 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: balls on stuff and finally he made Marcel, and um, 116 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: I came back from having lunch with a friend and 117 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: there was like this little guy on the corner of 118 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 1: the table and Marcel's really tall. He's an inch tall. 119 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 1: So if you if you are a super fan and 120 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:03,359 Speaker 1: you bought one of the with the sneaker season it, 121 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: so even with yeah, he's really interesting it well actually, 122 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: and his shoes are like they're like his body, like 123 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: they're his feet. Yeah, no shoes to ever come off. 124 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: Learn anyway, so he made the body and I came 125 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: in and he was like, I think he's here, and 126 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, he's definitely that guy. And then 127 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: Dean interviewed me and it was sort of like, well, 128 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: now that you know what you look like, can you 129 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: say more about yourself? And I you know, just improvised. 130 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: We had also just been to France to visit where 131 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: my one of my grandmother's was before she um went 132 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: into hiding during the Holocaust and during World War Two, 133 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: and her brother's name was Marcel and it must have 134 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: been top of mind. And I just said, like, my 135 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: name is Marcelle, and I'm partially a shell and you 136 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: can see on my body, and I just describe the 137 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: rest of myself. Oh, and it just went on. And 138 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: he's so he's so earnest and honest, and since it's here, 139 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: and I was so excited when the movie was coming out. 140 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it was different. Having to then write 141 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: a full length feature of about it's sort of different 142 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: and the same. I mean, it's actually the story was 143 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: like way too big and long, Like I think our 144 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: biggest challenge was cutting it down. There are there are 145 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: lots of parts of Marcelle's life that, um, we just 146 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: couldn't fit into the film, and we really had to 147 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: decide like what to show about him, and what was 148 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: interesting to us was like for someone who's so willing 149 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: to share himself and for someone who clearly thrives off 150 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: of being in conversation with another why is he alone? 151 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: Like why is he alone? And that was one of 152 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: the things that we decided to try to explore, and 153 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: it became more meaningful to us, especially as we separated 154 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: as a couple and both found ourselves, Like, you know, 155 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: we were in something that was sort of like you know, 156 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 1: coil together something, and now we were in our own, 157 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: our to own things like alone by ourselves. I'm curious 158 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: what it's like to collaborate with someone that you are 159 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: separated from, but you know who was your ex. You 160 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 1: seem to have done it very well. How is how 161 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: does that work? I mean, yeah, there's lots of different 162 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: definitions of like doing that well. I think. I think, 163 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: first of all, like we knew that our marriage was 164 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: not going to keep going, and we were like we 165 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: both still want to make this movie. We was never 166 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,719 Speaker 1: a question. And I don't think either one of us 167 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: is like a jerk, I guess I don't know how 168 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: else to put it, Like neither one of us is 169 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 1: like now the spotlight is mine, or like you know 170 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: these couples where they split up and one of them 171 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: steals the intellectual property or something. It just that was 172 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: never going to be us and and I think also 173 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: like I can only speak for myself, but I never 174 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,959 Speaker 1: was like I never want to see you again. I 175 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: mostly was like, WHOA, why did I think I would 176 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: be the like right for this when like I don't 177 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: think I have the right things to offer to this person, 178 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: but I do think that I have the right things 179 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: to offer them in a creative partnership, So so that's good. 180 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: But I'll also say, like we have good boundaries. It's 181 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: not like like if I'm to get a text from Dean, 182 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: you know, we text back and forth. We have like 183 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: a funny, fun relationship. But like I wouldn't say we're 184 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: best friends. I would say like we're super good creative 185 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: partners and that we just developed into knowing how much 186 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 1: space to give each other. And I don't really feel 187 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: like there was a lot of conscious like let's sit 188 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: down and let's be like really really evolved about this. 189 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: I actually think we just were so careful, like walking 190 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 1: on like the thinnest ice or something, just like really 191 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 1: making sure like your footstep itself. Let's say it's not 192 00:10:54,400 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: too warm to melt the surface. You know. Marcella is 193 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: obviously the product of an extremely creative person. So I'm 194 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 1: really curious to know what you were like as a kid. 195 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,839 Speaker 1: Did you have an imaginary friends? I had a lot 196 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: of imaginary personas. Like I think I've always been an actor, 197 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: um and always wanted to be one too, But like 198 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: I didn't have an imaginary friends, but I UM was 199 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: deep into imaginary play, deep into playing characters, you know, 200 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: like just full four hour afternoons of pretending to be 201 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 1: a princess who was like rejected from her castle and 202 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: had to like win it back from her like evil 203 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: you know, stepmother or something like just sort of a 204 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,079 Speaker 1: version of whatever whatever fairytale I might have heard. And 205 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: I really like to deeply get into that. UM. My 206 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: sisters and I had a game that we would play 207 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: called Dana and Susan and it was about um two 208 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: women named Dana and Susan who lived in the the 209 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: Ritz Carlton in New York and we we lived in 210 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: Massachusetts and we had never been to New York, but 211 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: we lived in the Ritz Carlton and we both had 212 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: husbands and we would like just talk about our husbands, 213 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: which now I think is like a crazy game. And 214 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: if I if I caught my daughter doing it, I'd 215 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: be like, where did you learn this? But I we 216 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,079 Speaker 1: just like we were ladies. I think we were like 217 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 1: kind of emulating my mom's first cousins and the women 218 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: that we would see, like at Russia Shanna and all 219 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: the Jewish holidays. I love that. One thing about you 220 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 1: that I really find fascinating, and you've spoken about this 221 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: as well, is that you have really severe stage fright. Yeah. 222 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: Can you talk a little bit about what that feels 223 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 1: like and how you ward it off and has it 224 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,319 Speaker 1: ever happened at the most inopportune moment um, I still 225 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,559 Speaker 1: get it. I sort of have tried everything to get 226 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: rid of it, including like getting hypnotized and pushed myself 227 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: to sort of hit marks of achievement for for a 228 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,079 Speaker 1: stand up comedian like I I made. I made an 229 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: hour long stand up special for Netflix. In fact, I'm 230 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,559 Speaker 1: about to make another one, and UM, it haunts me. Um. 231 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,239 Speaker 1: What it feels like to me is I have absolutely 232 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: no assurances that I'm going to be able to do 233 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: my job. I can't when I have stage fright connect 234 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: to the part of me that drums up and really 235 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: inhabits this power. I can't find it at all. And 236 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: I start to think it's not there. It's not there, 237 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: and everybody's gonna see me fail and they're going to be, um, 238 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: really disturbed by me because they're gonna like, I'm gonna 239 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 1: force them to watch me fail and they're going to 240 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 1: really hate me for that. And um, I think it's 241 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: actually gotten to the point where I'm like, I don't 242 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: really know that I that this is like I need 243 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: to keep doing this. I I'm not sure that I'm 244 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: gonna ever get past it. And it's a range thing 245 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: to say, but like the more I get into my 246 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: my parenting and my motherhood and like connecting to a 247 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: kind of love that I only thought was for other 248 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 1: people or something like I had never really experienced it 249 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 1: like this, the less I actually kind of need to 250 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: earn it, Which is interesting because I want to get 251 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: to you becoming a mom in a minute. But I'm 252 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: also interested in how you decided that you wanted to 253 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: make this your career, make comedy your career, and I'm 254 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: curious as to when you knew you wanted to be 255 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: that and what was that going to look like for 256 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: you in your dreams. I always wanted to be an actor. 257 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: I wanted to be an actress, I didn't want to 258 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: be a stand up comedian at all, and in fact, 259 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: I didn't grow up watching any I. I just wanted 260 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: to be like Judy Garland that you know. I wanted 261 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: to be like I don't know, like since Cheri's like 262 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: I like I wanted to be like she had her 263 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: legs ensured. Yeah, really, Like I just was like, don't know, 264 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: I want like a petticoat and like I want being 265 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: stuff where I'm like in a corset that like my 266 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: sisters are lacing up and they're like we're going to 267 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: the drugs. Like I just thought, I know, all the 268 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 1: anything I saw was from the library. It was all 269 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: those like Technicolor like Briga Dune and Meet Me in St. 270 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: Louis and like things like that. And it never occurred 271 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 1: to me that there were different kinds of actors. It 272 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: it's that there was genre. And then I got I 273 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: became aware of like Lily Tomlin and majorly of like 274 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: Madeline Cohn and Carol Burnett, and I was just like, wait, 275 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: what is that? What's that about? And when I got 276 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: to college, I started doing improv and it was just 277 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: so easy. It was just so fun. And when I 278 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 1: graduated from college, my best friend Gabe Lehmann and I 279 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 1: became a comedy duo, just just a way for people 280 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: to see us and think of us for acting parts. 281 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: And then when I was doing a comedy show, um, 282 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: the director Gillian Robespierre saw me, and she was planning 283 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: to make a short film about comedian who well actually 284 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 1: about just about a woman who like gets an gets 285 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 1: pregnant by mistake and has an abortion and was that 286 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: obvious child or no, that became obvious child. I love. 287 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite movies of yours. I'm so glad. 288 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm glad you've seen it, and I think it's I 289 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: think it's a really great thing for people to watch 290 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 1: now because it's romantic and it's it's lovely, and it 291 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: also like shows a safe and legal abortion with a 292 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: woman who makes that choice, um, without like having to 293 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: just like assess her entire life and decide whether or 294 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 1: not she's good or bad. It's just like something people 295 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 1: need to see. And I think the gillion saw me 296 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: as a leading lady. And before that, I was like, 297 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: I don't think every anyone ever will like I'll just 298 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 1: be always like playing the funny friend. Okay, So then 299 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: at what point does SNL come in because a lot 300 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: has been made of your experience on that show. So 301 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: I made the short film of Obvious Child. Um. And 302 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 1: then I at the same time was like trying to 303 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: write a one person and a one woman show, which 304 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: I always kind of thought, I like thought that was 305 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 1: sort of like embarrassing, and like here I'm like just 306 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 1: like really like I don't know, like like like theater 307 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,199 Speaker 1: dorc or something, and um. At the time, I you know, 308 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 1: god forbid, i'd be dorky um. And but I was like, 309 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 1: you know, I want to maybe see if I could. 310 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: I didn't even think about being on SNL. I just 311 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,920 Speaker 1: thought maybe someone from like Comedy Central will see me. 312 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 1: Maybe I'll just get better commercials. Like I just wanted 313 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: to be able to work more. And I was like, 314 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be in an offer Broadway play 315 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,879 Speaker 1: of like the Seagull or whatever, Like no one's gonna 316 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: put me in some check off. I've got to figure 317 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 1: out how to just get on stage and do what 318 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: I think I'm good at, which, by the way, is 319 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 1: the only way that I've ever had any success is 320 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 1: to isolate the incredibly specific thing that I am good 321 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: at that only I could describe and just do it 322 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: for like seven people and and like hope that some 323 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 1: people see it, and sometimes they didn't, sometimes they did. 324 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: But so I performed a one woman play that took 325 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: place at my few gearle if I had died right then, 326 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,159 Speaker 1: as as like a twenty six year old eccentric millionaire, 327 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 1: and so I eulogized myself and like all these different characters. 328 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,160 Speaker 1: And John Mulaney, the comedian who was a friend of mine, 329 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: was already working on SNL and he happened to be 330 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: at like the I think, the very first show, and 331 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: so he told the casting person and she was at 332 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: the second show, and so by the second show, I 333 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,360 Speaker 1: had an audition and then I got my like callback 334 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 1: for SNL and then I got on that show, and um, 335 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: and my career kind of like began, or so I thought, 336 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: But then it kind of like just sort of took 337 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: a nose dive almost immediately because I said, I swear 338 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 1: on my first show by mistake, which is like a 339 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,439 Speaker 1: personal nightmare for me because I hate getting in trouble. 340 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: Get the funk out of here. Yeah, um, and like, wait, 341 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 1: that's what happened. Well, I don't think I got fired 342 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: for saying fuck, And I think people might think that 343 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: if they're still thinking about it. I mean it's been 344 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: literally a decade and who cares. But no, I think generally, 345 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: like I got really squirrelly after that happened. It was 346 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: sort of like you don't realize that you're like living 347 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: on the edge until suddenly you like almost fall off 348 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: it and then you're like, wow, I'm on live DV. 349 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 1: You know, I'm just like, oh my god, and like 350 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: I am a fragile person actually, like I have incredible resilience, 351 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 1: but like it's a bit like a sorority fraternity in there. 352 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,119 Speaker 1: I am not meant to be in there. And I 353 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,439 Speaker 1: don't mean that to be like derogative at all. I 354 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: just mean, like the rules of the interior culture of 355 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: that place are really specific. Um, the power structure is 356 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: really specific. I definitely tried to like bow down to it. 357 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 1: But I I think if you're a creative person and 358 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: deep in your whatever you want to call it, your spirit, 359 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 1: you don't believe in what you are saying is your 360 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: master or your authority, you're not going to do your 361 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: best work. And I think if you're like me, even 362 00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,640 Speaker 1: even though I am I self admittedly totally fragile. You're 363 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 1: gonna be like I revolt. Do you think your comedy 364 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: fit in? Do you think that that was a brand 365 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 1: of comedy that No, not at all. But I also 366 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 1: think the way that I make my comedy is by 367 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 1: getting a ton of encouragement, not by being like starved 368 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,159 Speaker 1: out and like being like wide eyed and being like 369 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: do you love me, daddy? To like someone who's not 370 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: even your dad, Like I don't even understand the relationship 371 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: with Lauren. I I really wanted him to like me. 372 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: I I'm not someone who benefits from tough love or 373 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: from deprivation. And I I understand there's a point at 374 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: which like performers pushed through and then they're given the 375 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,439 Speaker 1: go ahead and the writers write for them. And the 376 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: weirdest thing is that, like all of those people are 377 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: nice people, but as a collective, I think there was 378 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: something for me that felt really bad and it really 379 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: hurt my confidence. And you know, I was like deeply 380 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: humiliated to get fired, but like a billion trillion percent, 381 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:02,680 Speaker 1: it is the best thing that ever had been to me, ever, ever, ever, ever, 382 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 1: So I named the show now What because I'm interested 383 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: in those moments that sort of devastate us and throw 384 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 1: us off course, you know, and how you get through them, 385 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 1: and for you to say that this was the best 386 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: thing that could have ever happened. Undoubtedly didn't feel like 387 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:27,919 Speaker 1: that at the time, But how did that experience shape 388 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,640 Speaker 1: the way you decided to go forward in the trajectory 389 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: of your own career. I think I've had twin experiences 390 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: in this, in my professional creat you know, creative life, 391 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: and in my romantic life. You're a fool if you 392 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: think that you are going to evaporate your injury. If 393 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: something is big enough to hobble me creatively or to 394 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 1: break my very alive heart, then that means it was big. 395 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: And I think the way that I've gotten through it 396 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 1: both times is by being like, you just have to 397 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: do the movement that you can do that will not 398 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: exacerbate your emotional injury. But you cannot stay still, you 399 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 1: cannot fossilize in the posture of the moment where you 400 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: were taken down. That is absolutely not the way to live, 401 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,399 Speaker 1: not for me at least, And so like after SNL 402 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: I I started auditioning again, I made myself to stand 403 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: up even though my stage right was like exponentially worse 404 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: and sometimes I really failed, but like, yeah, there is 405 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: no like symmetrical justice that came in that was like, oh, 406 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,200 Speaker 1: you found out you got fired on deadline Hollywood because 407 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,199 Speaker 1: no one even called you, because I think you were 408 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 1: solo worth well, now like someone like a fancy producer 409 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: is gonna ride in and give you your own show, 410 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 1: like nobody cared. The only person that cares or knows 411 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,199 Speaker 1: that I'm this deeply in jured is me. And so 412 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: after SNL, I just was like, just find a way, 413 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,880 Speaker 1: just like, keep performing again, keep being social, don't treat 414 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 1: yourself like you're an outcast. Nobody wants you to be that, 415 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,120 Speaker 1: nobody has it out for you. But also I was like, 416 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,479 Speaker 1: remember that you never have to feel this badly ever again. 417 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,359 Speaker 1: Everything else that I will ever kind of encounter is 418 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 1: like it is a job in a life, you know, 419 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,479 Speaker 1: even if it seems like really important or cool to me, 420 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: like it is a job. And I just I was like, 421 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,920 Speaker 1: I will never forgive the expression, but like I will 422 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 1: never eat it like this again. There is absolutely no 423 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 1: way if I feel bad, I'm leaving and then that 424 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: you know, I also learned after my divorce going into 425 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: other relationships and being so freaked out and being in relationships. 426 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,280 Speaker 1: I should I should have just like been by myself, 427 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,920 Speaker 1: Like truly I should have. I should have done the eat, 428 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,680 Speaker 1: pray love thing or whatever. I just should have gone 429 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: somewhere like slurped a bunch of spaghetti and just like 430 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 1: stared into a canal. That would have been much better 431 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: for me. But I chose things I wasn't ready for. 432 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 1: And it's in my in my book. I wrote a 433 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,480 Speaker 1: book called Little Weirds and there's a piece in there 434 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:14,199 Speaker 1: called Creed, and it's about like I don't need to 435 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:20,400 Speaker 1: be in relational experiences like where I feel like I'm 436 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm crouching in a small environment when I'm like I'm bigger, 437 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 1: Like I'd rather be my own size emotionally and be 438 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: by myself than be like getting like little meager morsels 439 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,479 Speaker 1: from someone who doesn't understand me. And I was like, 440 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 1: you never have to feel like this again. It might 441 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: be that you are like single alone forever, but like no, 442 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: but you know you've God, You've said so many things 443 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: just in this last I mean throughout the whole chat, 444 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 1: but that focus just as a performer, because you get 445 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,160 Speaker 1: knocked down so many more times than you you get 446 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: held up right, and everybody also wants to have these 447 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: more and to make them be this this this huge, 448 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 1: huge thing, and they feel that way at the time, 449 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: but they're part of such a bigger, bigger story. And 450 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: for you to be able to just knowingly and still 451 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 1: with an open heart, refuse to not try again and 452 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 1: be Judy Garland looking over the rainbow, you know what 453 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 1: I mean? And in a way, what a beautiful, what 454 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: a beautiful now what moment? And I think it's really important. 455 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: And during COVID you've had you've had such what a 456 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,120 Speaker 1: what a year? I mean, your heart was open enough 457 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 1: to get married again and then have a child. How 458 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 1: did you know you wanted to be a parent And 459 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: what has that? How has that changed you when you 460 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 1: actually realized you or the mother of this little human being? 461 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 1: It has unconditional love for you. By the way, the 462 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 1: thing that you talk about wanting, oh my gosh, I 463 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,119 Speaker 1: know it was. I mean I already like I have 464 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: like some new stand up about how like I just 465 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,439 Speaker 1: so desperately want my daughter to like me that I 466 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: like she throws food on the floor and I'm like, 467 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,439 Speaker 1: I love how that's so cool, Like I just I'm like, 468 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: I'm just like puss up um because I think she's 469 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: so cool. Um. I I mean when I met my husband, 470 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 1: it was after that, as you might what you call 471 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 1: I guess and now what moment. And so a friend 472 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,880 Speaker 1: introduced us and um, we wrote a couple of emails 473 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,360 Speaker 1: to each other. Um, but then we just fell out 474 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,199 Speaker 1: of touch. And then I was writing my book and 475 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: I was like a lot of pieces were taken from 476 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: ideas that I had had in the few emails I 477 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,440 Speaker 1: had written to him. And I I wrote to him 478 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, it seems like because 479 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: we had sort of tried to have a romantic start 480 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,959 Speaker 1: and it just didn't take off. And um, I was like, 481 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 1: maybe you're not like into me, or we're not right 482 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 1: for each other that way. But I've got to say, 483 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,639 Speaker 1: I really like you, and it's really weird to me 484 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: that you're not my friend, because there's something about when 485 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: I interact with you that it just is like pure 486 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,239 Speaker 1: goodness and I I really get into like speaking and 487 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: thinking things that are incredibly exciting and important to me. 488 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 1: And he was sort of like, oh yeah, no, no, no, 489 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: we should definitely be friends. Um. It's weird that we're not. 490 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: And then of course we like immediately fell in love. 491 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: But I did not know if I wanted to have children, 492 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 1: and and then I met my husband, and he really 493 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 1: wanted to have children. And he is a completely unique person. 494 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 1: I've never met anyone like him, man or woman. And 495 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: I just was like absolutely certain that not only would 496 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,719 Speaker 1: he be a good father, but that like if I 497 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: were to have a baby, that he would be there 498 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: for me, because I was like, I am not exploding 499 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 1: my vagina and like putting my mind through like chemical 500 00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: hormone like roller coaster at best with someone is not 501 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,920 Speaker 1: going to understand that I'm doing all of that while 502 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: they're not, and that's hard for them because they're also 503 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:07,880 Speaker 1: not taught it, you know. I mean, I think that's 504 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 1: a whole other kind of podcast, but it is very 505 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 1: true because a lot of what what what you do 506 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 1: experience they don't know and there and then it also 507 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: takes us telling them, please be open to this, but 508 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 1: this is exactly what's happening. And so that's a I mean, 509 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,199 Speaker 1: that's part of the communication of of of a relationship 510 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 1: where children become a part of it. Um, So, okay, 511 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 1: you find out you're having a little girl. Well, we 512 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 1: got engaged and then um, and then I got pregnant 513 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 1: kind of just like a few months after that. But actually, well, 514 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 1: actually what happened was we got engaged and we planned 515 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 1: our wedding for June, and we were like, well probably 516 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 1: like We're like, well, this thing will probably be over 517 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: by then, right like in March. We're like, I don't know, 518 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: like should we cancel it? And then I was also 519 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 1: planning on starting like fertility treatments because I went to 520 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 1: a fertility doctor. I was I was about to turn 521 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: thirty eight at the time, and I had never had 522 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 1: an unplanned pregnancy, so I've never been pregnant. I was like, 523 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 1: maybe I can't be like it kind of seems like 524 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 1: I should have actually at this point. So I and 525 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 1: I was told that it would can't believe it. Yeah, 526 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: um and uh. The doctor was kind of like, you're 527 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: really gonna need to You're gonna need to do fertility. 528 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 1: You don't have a lot of like follicles left, it's 529 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: not going to happen. And I was. I was so 530 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 1: blown away by that and I was gonna start that process. 531 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: When the lockdown happened and no quote unquote elective procedures 532 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: could be done, and I was like, I was suddenly 533 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 1: so scared, like something I wasn't ever sure that I wanted. 534 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 1: I wanted it so badly, and I felt, yeah, like 535 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,360 Speaker 1: very very sad. And then my husband and I did this, 536 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: like we drove from l A to Massachusetts in about 537 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: three days just to try to like make it to 538 00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: Massachusetts and locked down there, and um, on the night 539 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: that we got there, I guess I must have gotten pregnant, 540 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: Like I just can't believe. Like two weeks later, I 541 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: woke up at dawn and I was like, I think 542 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 1: I'm pregnant. And it was just this weird feeling, and 543 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: I took four pregnancy tests and they all said yes. 544 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 1: And then when my husband woke up, I waited for 545 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 1: him to like go to the bathroom, and I was like, 546 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 1: I'll just wait till he gets out. But then I 547 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,160 Speaker 1: like burst in, holding the four pregnancy tests the way 548 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: that people hold like cards in poker when they have 549 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: like a good I don't play poker, but when it's like, 550 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 1: you know, a flush or like whatever. And I came in, 551 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,880 Speaker 1: I was like look and I just showed him and 552 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 1: I just remember his face, it was like he was 553 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: so happy. Oh, I'm I'm so happy for your as 554 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 1: what kind of little girls. She She's very social, she's brave, 555 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: she's incredibly um like warm. She loves um, things that 556 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,640 Speaker 1: are saw off. She likes like especially it's like hilarious 557 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,600 Speaker 1: that animals have tails, and like every time she sees 558 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: any animals tail, she wants to point it out. And 559 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: I actually also feel that way about animals tails. Um. 560 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 1: She's she's really affectionate. Um. She loves like salty things 561 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: like pickles and olives. Um, she's really mischievous. A lot 562 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 1: of my friends say she looks like a shattic, but 563 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 1: she acts like a slate. Well, she's lucky to have 564 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: you as parents, you as a mama. I I love 565 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 1: what you're putting out into the world, and I just 566 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 1: thank you for taking the time to be on this 567 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: on this podcast. You're a delight and I'm excited to 568 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: see whatever is next for you, and I wish she 569 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,800 Speaker 1: the best and thank you. I also just want to say, 570 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: like I have been a fan of yours for my 571 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: entire life, and I just kind of like that's possible 572 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: because I'm fifty seven. That always sounds bad when people 573 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 1: say that to me, like when they're like, I watched 574 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 1: marcelf I was a baby, and I'm like, oh, you 575 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: go fund yourself. But but no, but no, not at all. 576 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: In fact, I I appreciate it. But I just mean 577 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: to say, like, it is very meaningful to me that 578 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: you would turn your eye on me. And you are 579 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,240 Speaker 1: someone that I see in in our culture as a 580 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: person of extraordinary talent and beauty and your and such 581 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 1: intelligence but also like real realness. I could have stayed 582 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 1: in this conversation for hours. And I thrive on encouragement. 583 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 1: I don't thrive because I have some like weird well 584 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 1: of confidence. I I thrive relationally and much like a 585 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: plant needs water and sun. And you were really that 586 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: sunshine for me. So thank you so much. That was 587 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: the delightful Jenny Slate. If you want to hear more 588 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 1: from her, check out her book. It's called Little Weirds. 589 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 1: And if you're like me and you love Marcel the Shell, 590 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: do yourself a favor and watch Jenny's OSCAR nominated film, 591 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 1: Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. It's on Prime Apple 592 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 1: TV and in theaters. That is it for today. Thank 593 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:18,240 Speaker 1: you for listening now. What with brook Shields is a 594 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. Our lead producer and wonderful 595 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 1: show runner is Julia Weaver. Additional research and editing by 596 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: Darby Masters and Abou Zafar. Our executive producer is Christina Everett. 597 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,240 Speaker 1: The show is mixed by Bahed Fraser.