Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh, I see you, my oye and
Speaker 1: look over there. How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, let's
Speaker 1: call us. How are you doing? Bell last? Okay, hold on,
Speaker 1: we gotta sit down. We gotta sit down and wait,
Speaker 1: we gotta sit down. Hold we gotta sit down, hold
Speaker 1: on dan culture kind Oh wow, that was fine? Um?
Speaker 1: That was so fine. Who wanted to sing a Taylor
Speaker 1: song that mentioned God and then mentioned God as a
Speaker 1: cis gender male, especially rule of culture number six? God
Speaker 1: is a cis gender mail. But because you know it's
Speaker 1: passed over, it can't forget. I can't forget, except I
Speaker 1: fully did forget. And my dad on Friday called me
Speaker 1: and said, hey, Matt, trying not to eat meat? And
Speaker 1: I was like, to l bitch and I said those
Speaker 1: exact words. Wow, we have an amazing relationship. What I
Speaker 1: can call my dawn a bit? Wait? Um, I think
Speaker 1: we will probably get sued for talking about this soon
Speaker 1: from what the tailor of it all? Okay, so you know,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, hi. Everyone knows, first of all,
Speaker 1: there's a tailor of it all. There's a tailor of
Speaker 1: it all. But are people are where their tailor is
Speaker 1: counting down to something? Oh, we know of the countdown.
Speaker 1: Everyone thinks that the countdown is for new music. But okay,
Speaker 1: do we want to do this? We risk a lawsuit.
Speaker 1: We risk a lawsuit if we continue. You I think
Speaker 1: she would actually benefit from this. The scuttle butt. The
Speaker 1: scuttle butt is she's actually counting down to coming out
Speaker 1: of the closet. I found out about this seconds ago,
Speaker 1: and I am intrigued. But have my suspicions. I think
Speaker 1: is would she really do that? Probably not. She wouldn't
Speaker 1: be She wouldn't count down to well, right, so would
Speaker 1: say for anyone to come out as like a libertarian
Speaker 1: and to count down to it, to come out as
Speaker 1: anything and have a countdown first, There's a question to
Speaker 1: ask once we engage in this kind of logic, and
Speaker 1: it's does she want us to think that and then
Speaker 1: do it? And we think, well, there are no rules
Speaker 1: or are there currently no rules? You know? Did did
Speaker 1: everyone watch the Jacu Peterson debate the other right? You know?
Speaker 1: I don't know what was sad, but I think the
Speaker 1: moral was there are no rules? Well, there are no rules.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. If Taylor comes out as queer,
Speaker 1: I don't know, because it's then we will literally have
Speaker 1: Apple presents all gay things. Then we're out what then
Speaker 1: at least then we get Buddha Judge. We definitely get
Speaker 1: Budda Judge. If Taylor is here, we definitely get Judge.
Speaker 1: We get him. Okay, he wins. I think that's what
Speaker 1: I mean, and I think you know that's what I'm meaning. Great, Um,
Speaker 1: I would love that. I would love it. I would
Speaker 1: love for not only Taylor to come out as clear,
Speaker 1: but for Pete Buddha Judge to win as a results.
Speaker 1: I feel like if I'm her brand manager and she's
Speaker 1: political now and she says I'm queer, I then say, okay,
Speaker 1: queer plus I'm political. Now we're stumping for Buddha Judge Baby,
Speaker 1: Her and Shaston would get along truly, So well tell
Speaker 1: me that Taylor and Chaston that wouldn't be like a
Speaker 1: full thing. Yeah. I think Chaston's edging for a talk show.
Speaker 1: I think like there's a conflict of interesting that's unfolding
Speaker 1: right before our eyes in the Erica, and it's that
Speaker 1: Chaston Buddha Judge wants to be a something. He wants
Speaker 1: to be a first gent which I hate calling it.
Speaker 1: That I got Chaston's whole thing was he wants to
Speaker 1: be called the first lady, but we'll be will present
Speaker 1: his meal. He refers to himself currently and I can
Speaker 1: only say what and current events are happening as we
Speaker 1: first Lady, it's not them. Current events are happening as
Speaker 1: we speak. It's actually real culture number three. Current events
Speaker 1: are happening as we speak. And I can always speak
Speaker 1: to what's current. I can speak to what's current. And
Speaker 1: he is currently on his Twitter claiming to be the
Speaker 1: first gent of South Bend, and you have to think
Speaker 1: that would translate to the White House, that you can
Speaker 1: continue calling himself first gent, which I guess that's what
Speaker 1: it would be, right, gentleman, lady would be first man,
Speaker 1: first gentleman, first gentleman. And that that's that's what the
Speaker 1: whole that's what the whole conversation was around. Bill. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how dare you bring that up? Um? I I think
Speaker 1: I would actually be a really good political husband in
Speaker 1: the new era. This is where you emphatically agree. Okay,
Speaker 1: talk about what what does the White House look like?
Speaker 1: At Christmas? You went right to decorating ship and I
Speaker 1: would obviously get someone for that, but I would have
Speaker 1: like say, I say, I like, I don't know, wait
Speaker 1: what did it be iconic though? Because you this is
Speaker 1: just you and I'm thinking about you decorating the White
Speaker 1: House an Ikea Christmas. Yeah, and that would actually be
Speaker 1: inspiring to the nation. Yeah, because it brings everyone down.
Speaker 1: It unifies people to have everyone have Ikea furniture, that
Speaker 1: would be a unifier. I'm very good at this, truly
Speaker 1: already already. But I would be good at my message
Speaker 1: because you know how every first person has to have
Speaker 1: a message. My message would be bullying to troll Millannia,
Speaker 1: and I would truly get nothing done. I would just
Speaker 1: it would just entirely be about saying I was trolling Millannia.
Speaker 1: And we would not tackle a bullying because you can't pitch.
Speaker 1: You can't tackle an amorphous thing. It's like people are
Speaker 1: gonna bully, okay. Yeah, and aren't we all happy we
Speaker 1: went through adversity? Maybe, um, Brooklyn, how are we doing tonight?
Speaker 1: Can I tell you? You said, Brooklyn, how are you
Speaker 1: doing tonight? And my instinct was that Brooklyn Heights, the
Speaker 1: drag Queen was here because I can't stop thinking about
Speaker 1: her after that episode. That was good, It was it
Speaker 1: was good. It was good, a lot of fun moments.
Speaker 1: What's that the face? You gotta speak up it you
Speaker 1: have everyone's attention. Now okay, now it's fine. What okay?
Speaker 1: Now it's fine, It's fine. There there there there's a
Speaker 1: hand prison happening. Um, it's okay. Are you a Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Heights fan or no? Yes? Okay? Did you guys watch
Speaker 1: drag Race? Shocking? Um? Who likes Brooklyn? Who likes Silky?
Speaker 1: I like Silky? Who likes Evie Carrier? Who doesn't care?
Speaker 1: End of an era? Drag Race is dead here and
Speaker 1: now tonight? Well what bitch that? They just did it?
Speaker 1: They did it, not us. No one declared anything. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'd like to declare something. Yes, did you guys notice
Speaker 1: my jersey? It was ninety dollars? Yeah, you know the nine.
Speaker 1: You know when you stare at the ninety dollar jersey,
Speaker 1: that nine jersey stares back. I wanted a TACKI shirt
Speaker 1: that said l A on it for the show, and
Speaker 1: I want to go buy it, and they said it's
Speaker 1: ninety dollars and I didn't want. I don't know. Something
Speaker 1: very insane happened to me where it made it made
Speaker 1: it meant more to me to be cool to the
Speaker 1: person at the desk than not spend ninety dollars. And
Speaker 1: I was like, what is it? Like, what's that's exactly?
Speaker 1: That's too low? Actually, here's here's my whole wallet. Wow,
Speaker 1: you really really showed them that you were cool. What's
Speaker 1: up with you? Bitch much? I had a little staycation here,
Speaker 1: which what is this? But I had a staycation and
Speaker 1: um and I got it. I got I got myself
Speaker 1: a nice little room. I heard the Hotelian Williams Bird.
Speaker 1: And what happened when you went to chicken? Oh don't no,
Speaker 1: I did. Was this lovely person named Owen? Hot? Name
Speaker 1: can we say? He said? He said? Um, he said wow,
Speaker 1: I listened to the pods pl um what other pods
Speaker 1: do you have? Well? You know, he said, he said.
Speaker 1: He was like, I listened to you guys. I listened
Speaker 1: to Cat and Pat and then he give it up
Speaker 1: for cat cats here Pat is not does not Pat?
Speaker 1: We Pat made a choice to actually know it's a
Speaker 1: legitimate choice. He it's his last weekend, it's his family's
Speaker 1: last weekend in his childhood. So I don't care. I
Speaker 1: thought he shoid. I thought he showed it on the show.
Speaker 1: Bitch ashes to ashes. It's a fucking house, your old house. No,
Speaker 1: not at all, where to see where I was very sad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was very sad in my childhood home growing up
Speaker 1: because I'm gay. If you didn't get that from everything
Speaker 1: about me, and he's gay too, Bowen's gay. Oh actually,
Speaker 1: can we talk about this? We said we're going to
Speaker 1: address this. Yes, So Matt is this just beautiful rude
Speaker 1: Goldberg pr machine right now? And he's trying to push
Speaker 1: this nere three things that I am. He's trying to
Speaker 1: push this story that I am white and white. Okay,
Speaker 1: boy is white and not only is he white, but
Speaker 1: he's a white bitch. You say, unpacked this it's plains
Speaker 1: Bowen's white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Um, I admits it.
Speaker 1: What's I mean is there? What are we? What are
Speaker 1: we going off? What is the you? You have tricked
Speaker 1: us and you're a betrayal. There's nothing more to this bit.
Speaker 1: That's truly just a bit. And you and you as
Speaker 1: an audience have to embrace the simplicity of the Flatten City.
Speaker 1: I mean you have to. And you have who bought
Speaker 1: something with the words Taylor Swift on it? You bought it.
Speaker 1: Can I say I just lost mine in high tops
Speaker 1: at West Hollywood. I lost my tailor Swift sweatshirt. I
Speaker 1: have to pay forty five dollars, which is too much
Speaker 1: again for another sweatshirt of my own. Yeah. People, people
Speaker 1: should know that we spend our own money out of
Speaker 1: pocket to buy our own merchant and that is not good. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's just get to it. Ego, let's just get to it.
Speaker 1: This show is called I Don't Think so Honey? Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: who here goes? But I don't think so honey? Do
Speaker 1: you guys even know what I don't think? For those
Speaker 1: that don't, for those that are not, I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey is a unit of time, and it's one
Speaker 1: minute for someone to go off on a unit of culture. Um,
Speaker 1: that is getting their goats, that is pushing their buttons.
Speaker 1: Something they hate in pop culture, something they hate. It's
Speaker 1: got to be addressed. Um. I mean, listen, you're gonna
Speaker 1: see truly a bunch of catharsis on this issue and
Speaker 1: they will feel good for you. Now, before we start
Speaker 1: the adom think so Honey proceedings, we do have a
Speaker 1: friend that joins us for most of our lives shows.
Speaker 1: She is a very famous actress, I know, very exciting. Um.
Speaker 1: What yes, and that's not coming. No, she's not coming.
Speaker 1: She's not coming. Um our friend of wait, you are
Speaker 1: seeing alive, Emma? Can you edit that out? Yea happen
Speaker 1: right before your eyes. We're talking, of course, about our friend,
Speaker 1: the famous actress, the troll moll ball. Yes, the tall
Speaker 1: now the troll ball. Oh. I feel like we to explain, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So every time we do the show, we have a
Speaker 1: net Benning come out here and it's Peter Smith playing
Speaker 1: in net Benning. But Peter doesn't out of the costume tonight.
Speaker 1: So and that's not coming out. But I wasn't told that,
Speaker 1: and so this is an edit that out moment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna proceed. We're gonna proceed. Who's high? It
Speaker 1: would really help me? Thanks? That matters. Dust to dust.
Speaker 1: We're on a big rock on this guy dust. So
Speaker 1: we skip ash to stash as we go straight to
Speaker 1: dust to day. I have to get to rock on this.
Speaker 1: So there are two types of I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: there's two options for all of our guests tonight. They
Speaker 1: can do it pre selected. I don't think so honey,
Speaker 1: it's a topic that they've chosen ahead of time. Um,
Speaker 1: that they've probably beat out, as they say in the
Speaker 1: industry out. Or they can pick from the troll ball,
Speaker 1: which is right here, the troll ball. So the troll
Speaker 1: balls feel with a bunch of topics to go negative
Speaker 1: on that would ordinarily be difficult to talk badly about. So,
Speaker 1: for example, past trouble topics have been Princess Diana, UM,
Speaker 1: Alexandria Casio Cortez, Um, John Bennet Ramsey, we don't care
Speaker 1: at all. I don't care at all. We don't care
Speaker 1: at all. It's better yeah, um, and I'm token. Brittany
Speaker 1: Murphy hasn't been in there, but that's what I'm looking for,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So, um, they have to
Speaker 1: go negative on this this topic. It can be conceptual.
Speaker 1: Past uh, conceptual topics have included diversity, affirmative actions. Yes, um,
Speaker 1: And so they have to shoot on it. They can't
Speaker 1: do a work around where they're like, oh, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey, this person, why don't you work born
Speaker 1: Now you have to ship on the very essence of
Speaker 1: that thing. And so to exemplify a pre prepared I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Please welcome bowen Yang, bowen yang.
Speaker 1: So you've prepared and I don't think so any topic. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: in that case, your time will begin now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Toilet paper you want to get in
Speaker 1: my asshole, but I have to do all the work. No,
Speaker 1: thank you. I don't think so, honey. I see you
Speaker 1: every day, and yet you're trying to get all bug
Speaker 1: by being like to ply quilted tofted charman. No, bitch,
Speaker 1: your job is to wipe the ship out of my asshole.
Speaker 1: You don't get to be fancy. Okay, look other cultures
Speaker 1: of advanced to bid days. The future is the days
Speaker 1: the day culture. I don't care that plumbing is already
Speaker 1: started to hack. I want water in my asshole. That
Speaker 1: is the only way that I will feel at least
Speaker 1: anally stimulated while I here bang. So, I don't think
Speaker 1: so any toilet paper. You're on your bust, your dropped
Speaker 1: second hair left. The Sharman bears are um fascists and
Speaker 1: five seconds they represent something that is fascist to begin with.
Speaker 1: I don't think so on toilet paper. It's like a
Speaker 1: nice plane. Don't know yourself. It was fanc the best
Speaker 1: of the night, Thank you very much, And now to examples. Wait,
Speaker 1: but I want to talk about toilet paper for a second,
Speaker 1: because I agree. I don't think so, honey. Um, the
Speaker 1: shitty toilet paper hurts, but cleanse your ass better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the good toilet paper feels like a dream and it
Speaker 1: stays in your butt hole for two to four years.
Speaker 1: It's like gum. It's like in that way. Um, you're right,
Speaker 1: You're so right? What's so right? Oh my god? What
Speaker 1: a fun paradox. Now, please welcome to this microphone. Matt
Speaker 1: Rodgers should exemplify a trollball. I don't think so, honey. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is never my favorite thing to do. Okay, one
Speaker 1: time I got diversity and that was a display. And
Speaker 1: that was a display, Matt Rodgers, here, I don't think
Speaker 1: so many trollball topic is the actress Julianne Moore and
Speaker 1: your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Julianne More,
Speaker 1: you weren't good enough for n call hall oftener for
Speaker 1: can you ever forgive me? You're not get enough for me.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't even be able to touch him a Listen
Speaker 1: to Carpes performance in that film. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Julianne Moore, I was gonna say something about your freckles,
Speaker 1: but that's me in a real way, all right. I
Speaker 1: saw the movie Gloria Belle. You were good. It was
Speaker 1: no Alia Coleman in the favorite Julianne more. Now that
Speaker 1: you've won an Oscar, I expect that every time. I
Speaker 1: expect an Oscar winning performance. Every time you dance rounding
Speaker 1: Gloria Bella look kind of sad. Oh, he're seeing Gloria
Speaker 1: Belle more than I thought. Wow. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: You all get more shipped to do. We all could
Speaker 1: have done better things. And seeing Gloria Belle, though I
Speaker 1: was happy to be there, not seeing Captain Marvel, I
Speaker 1: don't think so many. Captain Marvel, you looked vague anyway.
Speaker 1: Julian Moore, You're amazing and Boogie Nights. You were not
Speaker 1: good in that movie where you were blind. I think
Speaker 1: it's called freedom. I'm gonna walk off the stage and
Speaker 1: that's one minute. Do you we have anyone from four
Speaker 1: in the audience. Gloria Bell just treat by a Bell
Speaker 1: I live from Gloria bell It was fun, was it?
Speaker 1: Is it like a comedy where I'm truly, truly I
Speaker 1: was gonna ask, is it like it could have passed
Speaker 1: as a comedy because someone smiles in it? Because oh
Speaker 1: is it a comedy in the transparent way of like, oh,
Speaker 1: someone smiles, and now it's a comedy of the Emmy
Speaker 1: was like yes, yea, and Mike and Orange is a
Speaker 1: New Black way was someone smiling? Right? Right? Actually, the
Speaker 1: first perpetrator of that was I think weeds. Weeds was
Speaker 1: and I think Genti Cohen um ruined television, ruined television.
Speaker 1: She should be put forth in a television tribunal. How
Speaker 1: dare you conflate genres? Um? How dare you put us
Speaker 1: in this position now to call Orange just the New
Speaker 1: Black a comedy? I know they shifted genres recently in
Speaker 1: the twelve Cohen? How dare you all right? So we're
Speaker 1: gonny to start? I don't think so, Honey, live I
Speaker 1: am too. We've named all the groups and we're bringing
Speaker 1: up by groups of five groups of five. As you
Speaker 1: can see, there are five chairs, are gonna be five
Speaker 1: people and everyone, please welcome to the stage. This group
Speaker 1: more like Booty Judge, Welcome, Pierce, Come, k rostrap Amzimmer
Speaker 1: welcome to stay shut Washington. Oh what a beautiful group.
Speaker 1: What a beautiful group, and the very first to them
Speaker 1: like otherwise known as a net benning, but not tonight.
Speaker 1: Peter Smath, Oh my, oh my word, boys, Hi, you
Speaker 1: have a net? Were you in the net costume before
Speaker 1: before this or no? I think we were very unclear
Speaker 1: with you about what you were supposed to do tonight,
Speaker 1: and I believe the last thing we ended on was
Speaker 1: that you were not going to do in nets because
Speaker 1: you have somewhere to go. You have a stay year
Speaker 1: ago to happy passing. Put on blast bone, listen. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm happy to hear from Peter instead of
Speaker 1: in that in fact, a net benning. I don't think, Sonny,
Speaker 1: but I do alright, So don't my bills sometimes, Peter Smith,
Speaker 1: are you going to be doing? And I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Any trouble or you get out something in that beautiful brain?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, the beautiful brain, the beautiful brain. We love that.
Speaker 1: This is I don't think so many time starts now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, going first, Okay, the cell
Speaker 1: has been broken here I am thrown out on top
Speaker 1: the lamb the martyr. Interesting tomorrow pretty timely, don't you
Speaker 1: think here? I am ready to be nailed to that
Speaker 1: cross of comedy. Hey, hey, oh, what time is it?
Speaker 1: Everyone ready for the rest of the show. Two hours
Speaker 1: of people screaming at ship. I'm keeping it pretty low
Speaker 1: to start because I don't want to blast everyone's ear
Speaker 1: drugs out. By the time I get to the end
Speaker 1: of this. Thirty seconds, we're gonna be louder and louder
Speaker 1: and seconds for the folks told, I'm wearing a T
Speaker 1: shirt that has my name on it for the folks here, yeah, hi, hi, seconds,
Speaker 1: ten seconds, I'm gonna get louder and louder, and louder
Speaker 1: and louder. You get louder to louder, louder, waning up
Speaker 1: the crowd. I don't think so, honey. Positions and one
Speaker 1: up the crowd. Peter, you love that, Peter. That was
Speaker 1: beautiful And now you have to Katie Ruth ashcrack o,
Speaker 1: kat Ruth, We're so good in fact, would you like
Speaker 1: to do I'm going to go from my brain, from
Speaker 1: the beautiful brain. Oh when I reached into the trouble
Speaker 1: and this is Katie, Katie Ruth ashground Katy Shoes. I
Speaker 1: like Katie Shoes. Her time starts now, Her time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, people who mistake my optimism
Speaker 1: as maya the tay. Okay, all right, I have but
Speaker 1: one life to live and you're gonna tell me to
Speaker 1: not get my hope up, bitch, It's up and it's rising. Okay,
Speaker 1: my hope is renewable. Get it in the Green New deal. Okay. Alright, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I believe in love. And if that makes me childlike
Speaker 1: that Google Gaga, bitch, I'm a baby baby that Fox people,
Speaker 1: she loves Okay, alright, and I don't want you maybe
Speaker 1: mistakenly thinking that it's a response to instead of sorry,
Speaker 1: let me start over that. Um. Actually, I'm gonna calm
Speaker 1: down for a second, and in my true whimsical, optimistic self,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna end with a poem, okay, or I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say I'm going to recite Ross Gay's Sorrow is Not
Speaker 1: My Name, which a response to Okay, but look, remember
Speaker 1: my ned she's running through the field calling my name.
Speaker 1: My angel's voice of a singer of fuck. We we
Speaker 1: got the poem, we got it. It's about it's about
Speaker 1: being positive. I was gonna let her finish. Can you
Speaker 1: can you in the end of the palm? Okay, it's
Speaker 1: ross Ga sorrows my name, and the end of it goes.
Speaker 1: But look, my niece is running through the field calling
Speaker 1: my name. My neighbor has a voice like an angel.
Speaker 1: At the end of my block is a basketball court.
Speaker 1: And I remember my color is green. I am springs Trap.
Speaker 1: That was lay ash Trap. Beautiful. Please welcome to the
Speaker 1: microphone now, Amy Zimmer, poetrip Zimmer. Hi Amy, Oh no,
Speaker 1: and no, she's done. It's water, thank you, so Hi, beautiful, beautiful, Peter,
Speaker 1: Peter's got it. Well listen, here's the thing. We have
Speaker 1: two options for you. They are the trouble, which is here,
Speaker 1: and then of course pre selected. I don't think so
Speaker 1: any topics, thank you, Peter. I'm gonna go pre selected,
Speaker 1: pre selected as what she's gonna go. This is am.
Speaker 1: I don't think so many of the times starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, the past, okay, pay to
Speaker 1: wake it to you, honey, But that happened, Okay. I'm
Speaker 1: right here right now in the present, honey, you hear me. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking about what happened before. Right now I'm
Speaker 1: trying to guide us in the future here, honey. And
Speaker 1: how can I do that thinking about that old thing? Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm all for history, but the past, my
Speaker 1: therapist is I have to go back into that second
Speaker 1: and talk and learn more about covert narcissist. Honey. I
Speaker 1: already learned that, Honey. I won't go back there. It's
Speaker 1: pass over, okay, and it's for twenty and may I
Speaker 1: just say free everyone incarcerated four drugs. I'll leave it
Speaker 1: at that. I don't think so, honey. Yes, it's more.
Speaker 1: Thank you Amy Sinner and thank you Christie Sallow for
Speaker 1: being there. Christie? Are you doing baby? Hi? Hi? Less culture?
Speaker 1: I love this sell, we love you. Now. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: There's a bull here. It's the troll bull and um.
Speaker 1: You can do that or you can do a priest
Speaker 1: like the topic. And let me tell you something. I've
Speaker 1: seen you do both, baby, and I know that whichever
Speaker 1: one you choose, you'll excel. Yeah, you want to know
Speaker 1: something crazy, I'm doing a troubles all the night away
Speaker 1: dere touch up? Ye, yes, yes, yes, Christie. Your trouble
Speaker 1: topic is the city of Paris, France and your time
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't think so honey, the city of
Speaker 1: parents France bore more like no, Paris France. I just don't,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't really get what the big deal
Speaker 1: is Croissance. I don't think so honey, Paris France, because
Speaker 1: it's so far away. I don't think so honey, Paris France.
Speaker 1: I can't afford you. I don't think so Paris France.
Speaker 1: I thought power is tacky. I don't think so Pires France,
Speaker 1: because you know, you're not. New York, which is the
Speaker 1: greatest city in the world, starts bread in the nooning today.
Speaker 1: I'm good for a part of it. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey, Paris France, because you can do my dress
Speaker 1: your Paris, you can kiss my food. My bad good
Speaker 1: of you did not mention the Notre Dame. Where did
Speaker 1: you just forget it was even there? I don't think
Speaker 1: so Melocot in the room Notre Dame pretty forgettable. Also,
Speaker 1: I mean, try not to be a cathedral, a Gothic
Speaker 1: cathedral made of wood. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, trying
Speaker 1: not to try not to do that as you lay
Speaker 1: ashes on the ground, trying not to see you in
Speaker 1: fifteen years, even fifteen years. Yeah, when you're made of
Speaker 1: metal in a museum that costs eight hundred dollars to
Speaker 1: get into. I don't think that's true. Now, please welcome
Speaker 1: to the microphone our friends, Sydney washing a bad Yes,
Speaker 1: he's back. Okay, it's no way high. What's gonna be
Speaker 1: pre selecting trouble? Oh you know I got my notes here.
Speaker 1: I got my notes pre selected. Baby, this is Sydney Washington's.
Speaker 1: I don't think so many here. I don't think so
Speaker 1: honey starts now, I don't think so honey. Destination wedding okay, Fitch,
Speaker 1: I don't care if it's in a Ruba, Jamaica or
Speaker 1: can coon Wait is it Spring Bay Bridge? I don't care. Listen,
Speaker 1: I don't care. Stop telling me it's a vacation. It's
Speaker 1: not a vacation. If your mother, your sister, and your
Speaker 1: annoying friend Forbiddle School is there, it's not a vacation.
Speaker 1: Stop telling me that I have a whole year to save.
Speaker 1: You don't know my finances. My debit card just got declining.
Speaker 1: Duncan donuts. No, I can't go to your destination wedding. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am not going to your destination wedding that costs
Speaker 1: two tho dollars to watch you in a man named
Speaker 1: Ted that wears crocs on Date night, tell your drawn
Speaker 1: out bounds. Okay, listen, listen, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: my edges can't take it. All right, Wait and stop
Speaker 1: asking me to be a bridesmaid on top of your
Speaker 1: destination wedding. All right, listen, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: stuck with your six friends that all y'all got a
Speaker 1: common is peanut grieg your honey, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I don't think then he doesn't want to go nowhere.
Speaker 1: It's tight. Everyone give it up for this first group
Speaker 1: more like booty Nay right, Sam Washington were beautiful start,
Speaker 1: I'm believablebow Truly, we're off to an a basic storm.
Speaker 1: I say, if we get our next group out there,
Speaker 1: what do you think will just give it up for
Speaker 1: this group? Friday night Light stoody green, ain't go whoona,
Speaker 1: Gary Richard said, and will stee there Friday night Lights
Speaker 1: Friday night Light her Now welcome to the microphone, our friends. Hello, Hi,
Speaker 1: there's a big studio. I heard a rumor at brunch
Speaker 1: today with just you about what you were doing has
Speaker 1: that stayed true. First of all, I just want to
Speaker 1: say that tonight on stage we were all family. Yes,
Speaker 1: the groove here tonight, and I'm gonna be vulnerable and
Speaker 1: for the first time ever, I'm going to do the
Speaker 1: trouble Wow. Thank you. I feel I'm so nervous. I'm
Speaker 1: so nervous, competent your I don't think so, Honey. Trouble
Speaker 1: topic is Chrissie Teagan and your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't be so Christie Teagan. You will lay out for
Speaker 1: literally any brand, honey. You and John Okay, Pampers, Target,
Speaker 1: fucking your Skin, Bronzer, fucking even John Legend sponsoring Christmas.
Speaker 1: Now that two of them all Christmas. Also, she is
Speaker 1: not eating have food every night to nightmare chicken. We
Speaker 1: have pasta, garlic and cheese. Don't babe, Are you excited? Babe?
Speaker 1: What do you think? Luna? I do watch every single Intervira.
Speaker 1: Oh girl, you're funny, but like you're funny for a month. Okay,
Speaker 1: funny like a guy on my improv team's girlfriend is funny,
Speaker 1: like witch up. Yeah that's technically isn't Joe. It's just
Speaker 1: coming out to somebody with the most symmetrical face you've
Speaker 1: ever seen. So you're like warty party and now also
Speaker 1: for the stage the man responsible single handedly for as revival.
Speaker 1: You like hyot Ah, thank you, my beautiful trend. They've
Speaker 1: done more for me than I. That's not that's not
Speaker 1: your eli. Okay, you have two options. Pre select your trouble.
Speaker 1: I'll say this. I did something kind of wacky and outrageous. Okay,
Speaker 1: UH would see I I pre I wrote out a statement,
Speaker 1: but I didn't. But I would love any topic that
Speaker 1: I could say it though. Oh so you want to
Speaker 1: here and you're to you, and I am confident that
Speaker 1: my pre written statements. This is a this is an
Speaker 1: interesting one. This is this your star of Roma, your Aorisio.
Speaker 1: Her first name is Yosa Yao. And you're and you
Speaker 1: like how until times starts? I don't think so, Anny, you,
Speaker 1: Lisa Aperisio. You know some might call it or them
Speaker 1: a coward's endeavor. I didn't thinking, kid didn't even with
Speaker 1: this crowd. Not only does that thing or person suck
Speaker 1: as for reasons I think we all understand, but the
Speaker 1: people who enjoy it are fools, cowards and quite frankly
Speaker 1: race it. I mean this topic as if if I
Speaker 1: were stuck on a boat with this person thing or idea,
Speaker 1: And also Hitler was also on the boat, and I
Speaker 1: had a gun, and the gun had two bullets in
Speaker 1: side of it. I popped two in my own head.
Speaker 1: So Hitler had to be with this thing for five minutes.
Speaker 1: I yield my time down. Well, you're really gross in her.
Speaker 1: Now if you want the steps whatever rule of culture
Speaker 1: number seven and if you like, you'll need to ABARISO
Speaker 1: you are racing in? Are you ready for what? Heo?
Speaker 1: I fell head you'll invented the highways to j I
Speaker 1: just I invented it in my basement in Baltimore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he go, Hello, and we have a trouble here
Speaker 1: that's full of topics, or we have a whole probably
Speaker 1: mindful of ideas you can spew on. I have some
Speaker 1: ship to talk about. Listen, goods. I don't think some
Speaker 1: one of your twin stunts. Now, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: motherfucking dating apps. Okay, okay, I know this might not
Speaker 1: be an original idea, but I'm singing as ship men
Speaker 1: are now cowards, all right, So I don't think so, honey, men,
Speaker 1: you need to talk to me in real life. Okay.
Speaker 1: We I don't need a pen pal. I don't need
Speaker 1: a man to text for a few days at a
Speaker 1: time who then falls off and reappears months later. Bitch,
Speaker 1: I thought you were dead. Second, I have friends to text.
Speaker 1: And if you see me in real life, come up
Speaker 1: and talk to a bit, okay, because I'm looking for
Speaker 1: some dick. It's been a damn drought, okay, and this
Speaker 1: is the one time I have to tell people in
Speaker 1: the public a public places that I need dick. So
Speaker 1: fuck you're dating app and talk to me in person.
Speaker 1: Steps got in the person, y'all. Wow. I am very
Speaker 1: excited to welcome Gary Richards. Gary always looks he always
Speaker 1: looks exactly right. Come back kind, you're too kind. What's
Speaker 1: it gonna be? Um? You know I live above a bodega,
Speaker 1: so today I was thinking about this. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey. It's time starts now. Okay, Um, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey, honey. Dew melon okay, for real, let's
Speaker 1: keep it. Let's keep it in a buck right now. Okay.
Speaker 1: If I get a fruit, stud of the kid want grapes,
Speaker 1: the kid want watermelon. Okay, But I'm staring at the
Speaker 1: fucking Wizard of Eyes with this fucking green nothing. That
Speaker 1: is honey melon. Okay, alright, playing simple, Okay, honeydew melon
Speaker 1: is the produce equivalent of going to the bathroom taking
Speaker 1: like a tiny ship but you're wiping for days. What
Speaker 1: it's like? Hold on, like wait, how the fund just
Speaker 1: pop off? Why is this going down like this' say?
Speaker 1: This ain't how this should be. I've live my whole
Speaker 1: life living one way and they're gonna blast me with
Speaker 1: this like showing of nothing, taking up of the fucking smathe.
Speaker 1: Its praised out of control. And then I'm talking to
Speaker 1: my guy the bodega, like, yo, why are we doing this?
Speaker 1: And he's like, hey, I don't make it. You gotta
Speaker 1: live with it. And I'm just like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: don't suck my pick? Now? What do we have? The
Speaker 1: Prince of my heart? Please? Micro on? Well, Dina, Oh well,
Speaker 1: I definitely believe you're I love, I love very much.
Speaker 1: What's going to be? You know, I'm gonna go with
Speaker 1: the trouball I do, bitch, she's a break bitch, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Okay, Well, your I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Trollball topic Serena Williams and your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Serena Williams. And I'm gonna tread
Speaker 1: real lightly here. I don't think so, honey, Serena Williams,
Speaker 1: because guess what, You're too good at your sport and
Speaker 1: you make cool instagrams that I like. Uh look, Serena Williams.
Speaker 1: She's the best of what she does. She might be
Speaker 1: the best athlete of all time. And how fucking boring
Speaker 1: is that? I don't think so, honey. Being the best
Speaker 1: of your field. Two thousand nineteen is not about perfection.
Speaker 1: Two thousand nineteen is about struggle, about the wrestling with
Speaker 1: what's going on in this country. Serena Williams does not
Speaker 1: contribute to that. Serena Williams is a scourge. On twenty nineteen,
Speaker 1: fine said, and I yield my time, will see that
Speaker 1: beautiful men. I love it st degree well. I love
Speaker 1: Friday night light, Love those Friday night lights. Serena Williams
Speaker 1: is a scorge one. She does not represent struggle, No,
Speaker 1: not at all. Everyone, please love theme on that screw
Speaker 1: clamb up, push Tim Gerbois and Anne Marie you but
Speaker 1: I'm here By keeps Emory right now, Ma, they're demery
Speaker 1: Bob Matthew fantasy. Oh my god, whoa you maybe see that?
Speaker 1: Did you wait on purpose? You can all make hut?
Speaker 1: Did you wait on purpose? Fish for your moment? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: please welcome to go on your phone, Tim Grba, I said, whichever, Tim, Hi,
Speaker 1: what would you like to do? But select your shoulder.
Speaker 1: I am gonna do pre salute to this Tim Urbox.
Speaker 1: I don't think Sony's turn strips now. I don't think so, Honey.
Speaker 1: Matt Rogers on Tinder four years ago. That's right, This
Speaker 1: beautiful bitch and I matched. Oh my god, the possibilities
Speaker 1: are endless. The first thing he messages me is I
Speaker 1: didn't know you were gay. Guess what. Neither did most
Speaker 1: of my friends or my family, because I was steeping
Speaker 1: in a sea of self loathing. I then reply to him,
Speaker 1: I say that is way harsh. He says, I think
Speaker 1: the line, honey, is that's way harsh. Tie. Don't you
Speaker 1: try to out quote clueless bitch. I was fucking ten
Speaker 1: years old and saw that movie in the theater with
Speaker 1: my best friend, who are her older sister and her
Speaker 1: older sister's hunky as boyfriend who was already get cable.
Speaker 1: This Twitter that I could not stop watching, and I
Speaker 1: was only ten years old. It was a confusing time
Speaker 1: for my body, on my mind. And in conclusion, may
Speaker 1: I please remind you, honey, that it does not say
Speaker 1: R S V P on the statue of there. That's
Speaker 1: my true Oh my god, god. I was wondering when
Speaker 1: it would come on. What just happened was Larry Owens
Speaker 1: lovel pa, welcome to the stage, dressed for the occasions? Thanks,
Speaker 1: oh thank you? What's the Oh? I prepare and I
Speaker 1: premollow starts now. I don't think so, honey. The holiday
Speaker 1: for twenty I don't care if your little celebration is today.
Speaker 1: I am coming for you. Oh you were started by
Speaker 1: a bunch of privileged white boys who could just hot
Speaker 1: class whenever they wanted, I called themselves with the wall
Speaker 1: does no And I don't think so, honey, edibles, because
Speaker 1: at any time I eat you, I either feel absolutely
Speaker 1: nothing or everything. I did not want to eat the
Speaker 1: rice rice crispy treat and be playing Russian Roulette with
Speaker 1: the rice krispy between that tastes like grass and c
Speaker 1: b D c b D. It's a lie nandy war
Speaker 1: do not tell me about how when you got CBD
Speaker 1: lotion and wear stilettos, get your feet on her, bitch
Speaker 1: raising her fat on vernice because your shoes costs more
Speaker 1: than I left up anyway, Happy Hi Holidays your podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh no, wait, that phrase doesn't belong to you. You
Speaker 1: stole it from the two Everyone showed her up here tonight.
Speaker 1: Please please welcome Nil the sofa. Oh hi baby, we
Speaker 1: had all year. We got a gorgeous sign. Truly, the
Speaker 1: world is your oyster right now? What do you want
Speaker 1: to do? Troll ball to go to the bottom ones? Okay?
Speaker 1: New singer World by Storm tell me, tell me? Okay,
Speaker 1: her name Billy, I knew it. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Billy Eilish speak the fuck? Uh? What are you saying?
Speaker 1: I am thirty three years old, you are seventeen. If
Speaker 1: that's how you speak to your friends, I'm sorry because
Speaker 1: you clearly don't have anything important enough to say. I
Speaker 1: hear it. Ps I follow you on Instagram. I don't
Speaker 1: understand the references to the office you're with Ray Wilson, Like,
Speaker 1: I really don't get it, and that's a part of
Speaker 1: millennial culture. I don't get if seventeen year olds were
Speaker 1: allied in the mid nineties, you would all be closeted
Speaker 1: and sad like I was twenty second Um. I also
Speaker 1: don't understand Billie Eilish, but my mother does. And that's
Speaker 1: really upsetting because she did an episode of Ellen and
Speaker 1: then my mom was like, do you know this girl
Speaker 1: Billie Eilish And I was like, yes, I do. How
Speaker 1: do you understand what she'm saying? So I guess just
Speaker 1: I don't think something the Eilish, But if you're seventeen
Speaker 1: that you want to explain it to me, I'll be
Speaker 1: out there any seventeen year olds asking Mark Bagatt, oh
Speaker 1: here for a seat? Me there, and Mark is about
Speaker 1: to strap Oh is the spice Rous tour singing, dais
Speaker 1: this is the this man in the Spice World movie? Right? Yes?
Speaker 1: This is the fifth grade choreographing everything to Chicago. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: we all see it. Well, what's it gonna be? I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do pre planned, planted another way to say that
Speaker 1: in another language, pre planned This is nothing. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, And as time starts now, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Cutting the gay sex scenes from Rocket
Speaker 1: Man the bio pick for Elton John. Yeah, we're gonna
Speaker 1: do that. You might as well just rewrite the entire
Speaker 1: tale and bring in a white blonde woman named Mary
Speaker 1: and tell us that that what's the love life of
Speaker 1: his entire life? Because the best choice. When we did
Speaker 1: it with Bohemian Rhapsody, we were all absused. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. If you're going to do so, like,
Speaker 1: I will go see this movie and I would start
Speaker 1: having sex in the theaters. I will go to every
Speaker 1: AMC in midtown and I will have sex, and I
Speaker 1: would reprove other men to do so, because that is
Speaker 1: what sex is. More than one person it looks or
Speaker 1: two or three, and if you want four, just call
Speaker 1: me after the show. I understand. Great, I understand the
Speaker 1: latter behind it because you do want money. The cleaner
Speaker 1: it is, the better. But think about this, but you
Speaker 1: do you have history to make. I could, by chance
Speaker 1: do anyways, who's upsetes in my outfit? That's why I
Speaker 1: want this. That's what I'm everyone honestly, because I don't
Speaker 1: think so. Honey was a feature length film and couldn't
Speaker 1: fit into the one minute, and we ended on the
Speaker 1: album and we love and now please welcome to the stage,
Speaker 1: and Marie, I am, oh my god, nothing more to say. Fashion?
Speaker 1: Is it? Is it also a blowout happening? This? Yeah,
Speaker 1: lift blowout fashion, all of that agree. Now, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey, all Asians look alive. No, I don't
Speaker 1: think so okay. Frants Becky who pulled on a jetic
Speaker 1: cam account when I'm trying to check in, and then
Speaker 1: I can you saw it? I'm going, that's not me.
Speaker 1: You doubled down and go, all that's crazy because you
Speaker 1: look just like her. So I don't think so okay.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Old white man who says,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that girl and you must be sisters,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, guess WoT only are we not related?
Speaker 1: My parents are from Korea, hers it from China. So no.
Speaker 1: And then you man, you doubled down and go that's
Speaker 1: crazy because I was watching you both talk the other
Speaker 1: day and these similarities are just so uncanny. I'm telling
Speaker 1: you you must be sisters. You're telling me that I
Speaker 1: have a sister. Oh my god, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: old white man. I'm sorry you're not apology and you
Speaker 1: fucking raise his fuck and you're staring at mean talking
Speaker 1: to someone, you fucking creeper. It's so honey, okay, but
Speaker 1: when and I are not related, although I wish we were.
Speaker 1: Pusskir Twitter, Mark McGain kiss is all kiss us, all
Speaker 1: miss you off the show, seventeen year old you know
Speaker 1: who to find? His name is Neil. Yeah. Now, welcome
Speaker 1: to the stage. The next group called foolish man to
Speaker 1: pray on? Just sure, pull let's go shore that a
Speaker 1: Polish school sweeter, Joe Castle, George come off, Look at
Speaker 1: these foolish boys to prey on. They were dumb enough
Speaker 1: to come on stage. Now, well, now will pray right,
Speaker 1: we will prey on our first charge with Josh come on,
Speaker 1: Josh Sharp and Adam Selman. Yes, it's my signer pajamas tonight, honey,
Speaker 1: real love it. Okay, so listen, Josh, there's a bull here.
Speaker 1: It's been rarely used. It's got fulla trollball topics. You can,
Speaker 1: of course. Are you feeling trollish tonight? Are you pre selected? No?
Speaker 1: I've pre selected, okay, Jo, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: remembering any of your names. I'm sorry, I'm here. It's
Speaker 1: a deficiency, it's a mental illness into the handicap, and
Speaker 1: yet it makes me rude. The burden you have put
Speaker 1: on me. It's crazy. You've given me a full make trips.
Speaker 1: Some words I have to memorize because you've described the
Speaker 1: personal meeting. If I slep up one sun, asshole, No,
Speaker 1: that's on you. You don't because most of them aren't
Speaker 1: even words. Their sounds. Like Peter, Sure, that's a word.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm gonna go, But like Megan, that's a sound. Megan,
Speaker 1: that's a sound. I don't use that anywhere else in
Speaker 1: my life. They're not gonna remember it, you know. I
Speaker 1: can try. Imagine if I him up to you and
Speaker 1: I said, you met me, and I said for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life remember this? Yeah, And then a
Speaker 1: full year and a half later and are I said,
Speaker 1: what was my sound? You went ye, damn, you asshole.
Speaker 1: I'd be crazy. Album steeped in white supremacies are non
Speaker 1: as logan harder for me. Yes, I hate my white bread.
Speaker 1: Whiteness is a cancer. But I'm not an asshole. I'm
Speaker 1: just stupid. It's rule of counter number an eighteen. I'm
Speaker 1: not an asshole. I'm just stupid. And now welcome is
Speaker 1: a microphone call leus go it's so well and relate
Speaker 1: in febox. I was so excited to touch him. Cool,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be I've pre selected we love that love
Speaker 1: that well. School. That's five starts now. I don't think so,
Speaker 1: honey standing up to peace. I don't care. I don't
Speaker 1: care how good your aim is. There's always back splash.
Speaker 1: There is always backsplash. If I wanted to get piste
Speaker 1: all over my legs and feet, I'd be going out
Speaker 1: with Matt and bowing to bubble Tea after this show tonight,
Speaker 1: you're not coming my uberus three minutes away and another
Speaker 1: three second. I work so fucking hard at everything I do.
Speaker 1: I wrote a therapy with a list of things in
Speaker 1: order of which they are causing me pain. Okay, I
Speaker 1: pay thirty dollars a month for Tinder Gold so I
Speaker 1: can match with people in other countries, so I can
Speaker 1: choose my vacations based on hot guys I match with. Okay,
Speaker 1: So if I want to take five seconds to sit
Speaker 1: my fat white ask down and take a breath, I will.
Speaker 1: I deserve it. I don't think so. I'm mad nothing
Speaker 1: the babe I sit down every time. I'd be each
Speaker 1: and every time. Think about that. Every time I pee,
Speaker 1: I'm sitting. I'm understanding, I'm standing. But the more I
Speaker 1: think about it, the way a way to queer peeing
Speaker 1: is to sit down, take back. He welcome thread mats
Speaker 1: match man. Okay, Max, yes, men it out. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: it so stressed out my step I'm just called me
Speaker 1: a backstage sobbing. It was like somebody just died. But
Speaker 1: but my little brother just want a volleyball game. It's
Speaker 1: great that So that's coming into visit next week. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she was doing sobbing solving. She shouldn't know better. Should
Speaker 1: I just say, I don't think no, sorry, you want
Speaker 1: to do if it is a late, you can do
Speaker 1: a late, you know, Okay, Well you can pre select
Speaker 1: your trouble. I want to pre select, but I don't
Speaker 1: have anything so kind of trouball. Yeah, he wanted to
Speaker 1: do pre select that. However he has nothing. Okay, Max,
Speaker 1: I feel very confident your trouball topic. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: springtimein time and your time starts now. I don't think
Speaker 1: side right. Oh. Everyone everyone's like, oh love just like
Speaker 1: a light jacket and I love light layers. And he's
Speaker 1: like you don't know what you're doing with your layering, nobody,
Speaker 1: you don't know how to later like when what do
Speaker 1: you think is? What do you think is? Larry? You
Speaker 1: know you just like a cover up as much as
Speaker 1: you can't because you gonna have to shade. No, you know, Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't think funny springs up all the flowers like here,
Speaker 1: you know that's all things like YouTube, thank god right here,
Speaker 1: And it's like okay, But then you leave two weeks
Speaker 1: scitter and it's like, okay, t were is gonna be
Speaker 1: a little taste of the floral arrangement around the idea.
Speaker 1: Now I've just said to stay a good bind to it,
Speaker 1: and then I'm just boiling the line or the rest
Speaker 1: of the season. Are you sucking hidding me? I don't
Speaker 1: understand a springtime springshowers and may powers my answer? What?
Speaker 1: And then like everything and honestly, allay, where are you?
Speaker 1: Where are you when I a chocolate gray points all
Speaker 1: around from match Winnard great point? Oh my, oh my god,
Speaker 1: please brock up Joe Castle, babe, whoa where are those
Speaker 1: pants from? Um? I stole them from a rockabilly couple. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: a rockabilly couple that had a flattering in Simon you Joe,
Speaker 1: It's gonna be okay, I'll be pre selected, alright, alright, coward, no, no, honest,
Speaker 1: time starts stand. Okay, I don't think so, honey. People
Speaker 1: that don't want to hear about the dreams you have
Speaker 1: last night, oh, I'm sorry that you actually are a
Speaker 1: fucking bitch. How don't you learn about the internal world
Speaker 1: of your friend instead of pretending like I imagine waxcape
Speaker 1: a friends and here I've got my friends pulling dreams.
Speaker 1: Those are her fucking dreams. That's her unconscious mind saying, hey,
Speaker 1: put down the fucking booze and I'm gonna show it
Speaker 1: to you in a fucking butterfly. You listen to your
Speaker 1: friend instead of thinking that you're self fucking burnt out
Speaker 1: that you can't listen to dreams anymore. Okay, now to
Speaker 1: Ted talk All right, listen dreams. People have realized that
Speaker 1: dreams are actually really real, and whether we like it
Speaker 1: or not, is that it fine? Okay? Cool? By wow,
Speaker 1: beautiful times my word, my word? Well everyone, please welcome
Speaker 1: George Svera, George Sords, just shut George. We love beautiful Matt.
Speaker 1: Do you remember earlier when you asked if the movie
Speaker 1: where Julianne Moore was blind was called Freedom, it is,
Speaker 1: in fact called Blindness and Blindness. Well, I'm hope, I'm
Speaker 1: happy I'm not his first thought as the executive producers
Speaker 1: of that movie. I don't think so, Hey, George, it's
Speaker 1: gonna have to be prefera. You know this is George
Speaker 1: Sparris is. I don't think so. Many's time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. People who say just let
Speaker 1: people enjoy things, guess what, bitch, do you know what
Speaker 1: I enjoy feeling morally superior to people who have that tank? Oh?
Speaker 1: How dare I be dismissive of the Marvel d C
Speaker 1: Game of Groans, Harry Potter, West Wing Cinematic Universe. Guess what?
Speaker 1: All of those movies are funded by the military and
Speaker 1: big oil. And that's a fact in my opinion. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry criticize your favorite live action board game, get
Speaker 1: Away for the movie adaptation of Settlers of Katan Storry. Sorry,
Speaker 1: Chris Pratt as a racist log And guess what enjoying
Speaker 1: things is straight and not enjoying things it's queer, That's
Speaker 1: what George Paris and we also have a Rome culture.
Speaker 1: Rome culture number fifteen. And that's a fact in my opinion.
Speaker 1: Get it up for Josh Sharp call let school, last
Speaker 1: Sweater to Castle Baker George scenario. They are foolish men
Speaker 1: to prey on our next group. Our next group is
Speaker 1: called something inside Me said yes. And the first to
Speaker 1: say it is Katherine Going and calco Very Fastay, Melissa's
Speaker 1: sakask Rosebud Baker and christ and Puckas come on up, Bucas, God,
Speaker 1: come on first. The microphone is the very shy Catherine Cold.
Speaker 1: She's so shy. Oh my god, shop wait, she says,
Speaker 1: She says, Catherine's going to be trouble. Basily, oh my
Speaker 1: tits out, Katherine poets, I don't think so, man of
Speaker 1: your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The Moon,
Speaker 1: Why you always make me the bad mood? The Moon?
Speaker 1: Why you always make me feel like a bit and
Speaker 1: act like a bit even though my life is very easy?
Speaker 1: The Moon? Why have you thrust me into the deepest,
Speaker 1: deepest depths of a spring spring? Spring depression? Absolutely? The Moon,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, the Moon, The Moon, I
Speaker 1: don't thinking the moon? Why? Why? Why? Did you make
Speaker 1: me this morning? Wake up and say, hey, today is
Speaker 1: a good day to attack the person who asked me
Speaker 1: to be his girlfriend. And then I'll ask me four
Speaker 1: days later. Anything wanted to go to the Google have
Speaker 1: to see Hilda Auckland. I think, John, you go Moon?
Speaker 1: Why you make me buy a sixty fi dollar candle?
Speaker 1: The moon you swing your little ass around all day?
Speaker 1: The moon, you make the ocean go boom the moon.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't thinking the moon you go up,
Speaker 1: you go down wherever you like. No, no, the moon,
Speaker 1: No the moon groups. I thinking you fall in love
Speaker 1: the moon. You're stupid, stupid bitch. I don't think. And
Speaker 1: we have a new culture culture number second five, You
Speaker 1: and everyone chi came to Google hide your check out
Speaker 1: held off? But the time please want the Marie fausta
Speaker 1: Marie and she's got her phone my world. You know,
Speaker 1: she came out here and she's unprepared, so so she
Speaker 1: was like she's gonna do the ball. But then she
Speaker 1: had an epiphany. Oh I cannot wait to find out
Speaker 1: whether epiphany had been This is Marie Houstons. I don't
Speaker 1: think so many your time starts now. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey, People who watched beyoncee Homecoming and dancing it
Speaker 1: inspired them? Bro? Where inspired you? How you won't give
Speaker 1: up meat and carbs and fish and alcohol and greens, beans, tomatoes, potatoes.
Speaker 1: I don't believe you, because I looked in your cart
Speaker 1: at trendor Joe's and I saw cookies. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who watched it and said and changed my lap. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you won't call your two friends the one that
Speaker 1: can't dance that well, the ones that dance how you dance,
Speaker 1: and you wanna bring them out at Coachella? Where are
Speaker 1: you gonna do that at? You want fake of practices,
Speaker 1: You want fag up practices, and then get pregnant for
Speaker 1: real with twins and take all the photos like you
Speaker 1: just got practice for Sime. But the first time, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. She's the queen and we get it.
Speaker 1: And y'allow shocked that black women are goddesses, but we
Speaker 1: already knew that more fast, very fousands Spisy Ferris w
Speaker 1: IV was not with f was not pregnant with the conspiracy.
Speaker 1: There was born here tonight and one please welcome, but
Speaker 1: less come on, oh Sarious and the mentality of the boot.
Speaker 1: Come on, it's everything in more. And here's the question
Speaker 1: we gotta ask, it's the bull or it's pre selected.
Speaker 1: What are we thinking it is pre selected? Selected? I
Speaker 1: don't think so, hony. Our time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Grocery stores in my neighborhood who do
Speaker 1: not sell miracle with absolutely not. Do you think I
Speaker 1: am proud of this purchase? Do you think I am brown?
Speaker 1: I went to leave my neighborhood, go to a different burrow,
Speaker 1: the fancy borrow, to buy a Midwestern delicately, No, I
Speaker 1: do not. I don't think so, honey. You're the nineteen
Speaker 1: different types of artistanal mannaise, nineteen different types extra virgin
Speaker 1: olive oil mannise speaking manny that is not a thing,
Speaker 1: that is not possible, does not exist. Truffle mannies. We
Speaker 1: are over truffle. Nobody likes truffle anymore, Rosemary, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. America whib is the share of condiments
Speaker 1: and last for seventy two years. And it's the Mama me.
Speaker 1: Here we go again to a helicopter. It is share?
Speaker 1: Are you too good for share? Williamsburg? Are you too
Speaker 1: good for moonstruck, for which is of easy. Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Every grocery store in my
Speaker 1: neighborhood this cast. How dare you these grocery stores unreal?
Speaker 1: I mean miracle whip is the share of condiments, and
Speaker 1: that's actually real culture. Never miracle whip is the share
Speaker 1: of confidence. Now, welcome to the microphone. Our friend bacon. Okay,
Speaker 1: but I think I'm just gonna go with my heart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta go to her just pre slept in her heart. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is I don't think now. I don't think so
Speaker 1: honey making new friends. I can't do it. I was
Speaker 1: told tonight was a fashion event. There's cat hair on
Speaker 1: my sweater, and I put my cat down three months ago.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey being funny. Um, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey being charming. I am single for the
Speaker 1: first time, and I can't fucking do it. I don't
Speaker 1: want to meet new people. I don't want to I
Speaker 1: don't want to meet new I don't want to learn
Speaker 1: your personality. You don't want to learn mine. Trust me.
Speaker 1: I can enjoy a massage unless it sends me to
Speaker 1: a women's shelter. Thank you. So much you want don't
Speaker 1: get to know her? And now microphone christ Puca, Hello Puca,
Speaker 1: it's honestly share and clueless. It's today ever start alright,
Speaker 1: so listen, here's the deal. We got a preslected option
Speaker 1: and what else do we have? Bow, So there's two prelected.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I make up my own decisions, thank you, Christophe. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think sunny. I am going to use notes. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I've had for eight hours of no sleep, so I
Speaker 1: gon an adderall unrelated. It's a drug holiday. We all
Speaker 1: are here, okay, I don't think so, honey. People who
Speaker 1: think they're better than me because they're not on their phone,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. If your phone is on gray scale
Speaker 1: right now, I feel fucking bad for you. I'm so sorry, Becky.
Speaker 1: But deleting your Facebook and your Instagram off of your homepage,
Speaker 1: god an accolade, it's a handicap. I'm sorry. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. I have to work harder now to
Speaker 1: start a conversation with you. My friendship with you is
Speaker 1: now to fucking burden, think Sonny. I'm so sorry. So
Speaker 1: you know this is the girl who doesn't watch Game
Speaker 1: of Thrones and you're fucking proud of that. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: You're not special. You're the same girl who didn't watch
Speaker 1: Titanic in fifth grade. Fuck you. I did masturbates Leonardo
Speaker 1: Caper for the first time. Then, I'm so sorry you
Speaker 1: didn't get to do that. Here's the thing five, No,
Speaker 1: keep going, I'm so sorry. Absolutely just I'm just saying
Speaker 1: that my phone is a personality trait. Look at this, dude,
Speaker 1: What's what was happening here? Yes? Look, and that's it.
Speaker 1: I don't fucking thingmit it. My my phone Christmas was
Speaker 1: And honestly, it's a rule of culture number thirty. My
Speaker 1: phone is a personality trait and that's that. Give it
Speaker 1: up for this group. Something inside me said, yes, Catherine Collins,
Speaker 1: let us My Baker and christ Ye please welcome our
Speaker 1: final group for this half half. Please welcome to the stage.
Speaker 1: Kelly right about good never Eva picture, Seprita, christ Murphy,
Speaker 1: Natalie Walker, first, Victure Victor. Oh my gosh, this is
Speaker 1: simply late time. Wow, Okay, what's gonna be pre selected?
Speaker 1: Your name? Yes, this is I don't think so your
Speaker 1: time starts down. I don't think you won't even ask
Speaker 1: for Carlton's a thousand miles, bitch, you can't fall into
Speaker 1: the sky. Second, nobody in the history of the world
Speaker 1: is worth more than a twenty minute walk or a
Speaker 1: seven dollar lift. I don't think someone even as a
Speaker 1: Carlton's a thousand miles bitch. Okay. Also, did you know
Speaker 1: a thousand miles would take five days to walk? When
Speaker 1: I say a thousand miles, you say that's unrealistic, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: A thousand miles, that's essad, that's a good as. Also, bitch,
Speaker 1: you know what the truth is. You know what the
Speaker 1: truth is? What the pranessa? Also, if you walk a
Speaker 1: thousand miles, he'd better make you come one billion times
Speaker 1: once you get care. I don't know what you're thinking.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not he won't. It is because if it
Speaker 1: was a she, she would say that of the making
Speaker 1: the sense, let's meet in the fucking mid all. I'm
Speaker 1: so fine, no FSA, get out of the fucking truck.
Speaker 1: Let me help you carry your piano back to your apartment,
Speaker 1: and let's take this through like a jump. I don't
Speaker 1: think so even as a college without the bottle oh ship,
Speaker 1: that's realistic, that's real. Number one hundred that's unreal. Listen, Pranessa,
Speaker 1: Oh that's so large. We have a trouble here. We
Speaker 1: have to selected topics up there. Maybe what do you
Speaker 1: say re selected? Yes, we got up there. Time starts now. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Anti abortion propaganda conservatives gonna
Speaker 1: tell me what I can do with my body when
Speaker 1: y'all don't even know how to fund your information is bad,
Speaker 1: Your logic is weird read on tweets, and I don't
Speaker 1: think so. Also, you have black ass confusing branding. Y'all
Speaker 1: heard of Mike Moon, Okay, he is in Missouri who
Speaker 1: went on face Supplive. He was like, this is what
Speaker 1: an abortion is, and we headed a chicken. I don't
Speaker 1: think Also, I don't think so. Science, I will say that.
Speaker 1: And also, yes, if I had seen that video before
Speaker 1: I had my version, I would have walked into that
Speaker 1: clinic have been like, yes the guillotine option please, okay,
Speaker 1: because I love the trauma. Okay, Hi, it's a cluster
Speaker 1: of self and abortion of healthcare, folks, fol culture zero.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of heself, an abortion is healthcare. Welcome
Speaker 1: to Tafrida. Well, hello, what's good? We got pre selected?
Speaker 1: We got trou bow. It's up to you re selected.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Widely taught, critically acclaimed children's
Speaker 1: book Ticky Ticky Tembo. For those of you don't remember
Speaker 1: the first sentences, There once was a Chinese boy named
Speaker 1: Tiki Tikky Tambo no sambo cherry berry rauchie pamberry pampo.
Speaker 1: Oh what a swur. I want to do a real
Speaker 1: Chinese man when I know what his game was. It
Speaker 1: was late and the the ager, in response to criticism, said,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I don't speak Chinese. I just wrote down
Speaker 1: what I heard my neighbors saying. So I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: real Chinese and then I'm gonna switch to knock quite Chinese.
Speaker 1: But I won't tell you when you tell me when.
Speaker 1: What it means is, she would you when shoes she
Speaker 1: ware hurchin, you think you would take a shoot you out?
Speaker 1: Tikki Tikki temp Oh, my bro, amazing pelics, Welcome Christmas,
Speaker 1: free dinner, okay, past come on, okay, listen, tell m
Speaker 1: to us about what we're doing for your follow Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a song in my heart, so I have
Speaker 1: to get it out and heart. I don't think so
Speaker 1: many times charts. Now, I don't think so, honey. William H.
Speaker 1: Macy ober Rate and piece of ship letting your wife
Speaker 1: Felicity Hufman drowned in the court of public opinion over
Speaker 1: Operation Blues. I'm sorry, Felicity Huffman loves your idiot daughter
Speaker 1: more than you do. The only reason you weren't indicted
Speaker 1: in this case is because you weren't engaging your daughter's
Speaker 1: educational future and says, all right, you're nothing but a
Speaker 1: dead beat, fucking dad, just like the wet board of
Speaker 1: a dead dad dad beat bucking dad that you play
Speaker 1: on shameless alright, and Babs, maybe if you're a real
Speaker 1: like aless actor and not a seedless character actor, you'd
Speaker 1: have enough money to sort of get your daughter to
Speaker 1: schooled the normal worst person away by buying a fucking
Speaker 1: build here. Also, apparently he's on RIAH and like, guess
Speaker 1: what Waves basic, No one wants to fuck you. You
Speaker 1: look like you're the turtle bas Rias on Riya. Sit
Speaker 1: in your bad it's bleak self awareness, Chris Murphy, Murphy,
Speaker 1: who is the poem? It's Natalie Walker, Yes, thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you Walker, Natalie, thank you, and truly as the
Speaker 1: Oscar gone close loss. It's the visual medium. I'm dressed
Speaker 1: in called sequence and I look magnificent. Ball. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be pre selected that I thought of thirty minutes before
Speaker 1: the show. Going to my heart. It's fresh, and here
Speaker 1: is Natalie Walker. Certain I don't think so. Tommy Chevinson,
Speaker 1: thank you for those of you in the audience whose
Speaker 1: minds don't desire hell and therefore are not on Twitter.
Speaker 1: Chevinson had a very successful fashion magazine that she then
Speaker 1: ditched for a very successful acting career in two Broadway shows.
Speaker 1: But she is now abandoned to do titters front facing
Speaker 1: camera video. This pivot to video just like the pivots
Speaker 1: to video of Mike a buzz speed of FMTV news.
Speaker 1: It's hurting hundreds of people, including bitch me front facing video.
Speaker 1: And if I had been a tool from my shows,
Speaker 1: which I didn't go to school and train for, I
Speaker 1: would not be doing my front facing video. Tommy hurting me,
Speaker 1: you're hurting the masses, and I wounded your your snapchat
Speaker 1: builter comedy. I don't thank so too. A fact all
Speaker 1: pretty well, Chris Hollo over here, it's a very quick
Speaker 1: break the short show. Please fig around and we love
Speaker 1: you so much. This has been a Forever Dog production
Speaker 1: executive produced by Brett Bahum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey.
Speaker 1: For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot
Speaker 1: com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the
Speaker 1: latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and
Speaker 1: Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.