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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Angie, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I got married a month ago, and

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Speaker 3: now he vanished, what we do you go? I have

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Speaker 3: thirty three female, been married to my husband thirty five

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Speaker 3: male for less than a month. Now been together for

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Speaker 3: almost a decade.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Our day starts like any other day. We wake up

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Speaker 3: and kiss and cuddle a little. He gets stressed and

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Speaker 3: goes downstairs to make us breakfast. We eat in bed,

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Speaker 3: and then he takes the plates and goes back downstairs.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Repulsive Candy sixty two

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Speaker 3: to fifty And if you want to spent your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime suppared it. I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 3: I'm Angie, I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good

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Speaker 3: advis Qoflee, but we don't have all the answers. We

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Speaker 3: ll you know what we'd do, So let us know

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Speaker 3: what you would do in the comments. It normally takes

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Speaker 3: him a while to do the dishes, so I don't

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Speaker 3: think anything of it. When he doesn't come back up

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Speaker 3: after a while, I realized that I haven't heard a peep,

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Speaker 3: so I go back downstairs to see if he needed anything.

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Speaker 3: When I discovered that he's just gone. He took his

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Speaker 3: car and left, and when I texted him, I got

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Speaker 3: this really cryptic reply that's like, I'm okay, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I'm so confused and starting to get a little panicked

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Speaker 3: at this point. Okay, put it in. What do we

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Speaker 3: think's going on?

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Speaker 4: I think he's a werewolf? Yeah, it's a full moon.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it just.

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Speaker 1: So happened that all of the other full moons ten

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Speaker 1: years so they've been together, she's been out on truck.

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Speaker 3: Okay, she's like, He's like, it worked out every other time.

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Speaker 3: Why are you here? One time I told you to

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Speaker 3: go to MAJORCA. Yeah, you're supposed to go on your

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Speaker 3: girl's trip. That's the last I hear from him. I

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Speaker 3: keep calling him multiple platforms, multiple times a day, and nothing.

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Speaker 3: My calls go to voicemail, but my text show as delivered.

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Speaker 3: I go as far as contacting his best friend and

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Speaker 3: boss to see if they know anything, and they both

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Speaker 3: reached out to him, which he lied to them and

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Speaker 3: said he would call me in the evening. So I

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Speaker 3: know he's on his phone seeing everything. He's just ignoring me.

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Speaker 3: Now here's a full timeline of why I think he's

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Speaker 3: cheating on me. I mean, truly, what else could you think?

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Speaker 3: I'm what else?

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Speaker 1: I'm still preset on Werewolf this first thing that comes

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Speaker 1: to my mind. Honestly, I genuinely didn't even think about geting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just thought he's just over it.

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Speaker 4: He's just done. It is done.

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Speaker 3: I thought he was a spy. Earlier this year, I

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Speaker 3: get a text message from someone claiming that she's been

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Speaker 3: having an affair with my husband.

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Speaker 1: But this happened a while ago, and you've been and

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Speaker 1: you've been kissling, You've been kissling him.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I hope no diddling. It happened.

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Speaker 3: She's been having an affair with my husband and he

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Speaker 3: gave her an STD, so I should get myself checked out.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, he spread his werewolf

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Speaker 4: is into her.

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Speaker 3: Oh my werewolf, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: WTD werewolf transmitted to coincidentally also the name of my

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Speaker 1: sketch show.

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Speaker 3: As that. My first reaction was, I'm being franked. I

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Speaker 3: obviously show him, and instead of looking like he was caught,

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Speaker 3: he was actually pissed and confused. We do a little

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Speaker 3: digging into the number and discover it's one of his coworkers.

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Speaker 3: She said she had screenshots dates and times, and I

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Speaker 3: call her bluff and tell her to prove it and

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Speaker 3: send them. She doesn't send anything and later replies with

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Speaker 3: a long winded apology about how she's so sorry she

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Speaker 3: was just manic because her mets were adjusted.

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Speaker 4: What's hell, what's happening? I don't know believe anymore?

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Speaker 3: Me neither. I don't know who to believe. Is he

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Speaker 3: a were wolf or is he not?

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Speaker 4: I mean, he's gotta be.

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Speaker 3: There's no way he's not.

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Speaker 1: You gotta like plan a date out two months in

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Speaker 1: advance because you can tell, you know, when when the

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Speaker 1: full moon's gonna come around.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm, and see how he reacts. Yeah, you're like, hey, thanks,

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Speaker 4: we should go.

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Speaker 3: We should go out to Rigatony's the restaurant. Yeah, on

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Speaker 3: the full moon. That would be so romantic. It happened.

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Speaker 1: It just so happens to have a big, big last

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Speaker 1: ceilings to you because stargate is while you eat the noodles.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that sound nice?

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Speaker 4: Isn't that nice?

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Speaker 3: I proceed a just blocker. She then goes off to

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Speaker 3: try and contact my family members trying to get a

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Speaker 3: hold of me. I wonder where she got my number.

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Speaker 3: Turns out she paid a service online to get my number.

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Speaker 3: I get another text message from a different number in

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Speaker 3: July that says husband has been cheating on you with

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Speaker 3: another woman since March twenty twenty four. The last time

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Speaker 3: they had spicy sleep was on June seventh, when he

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Speaker 3: lied to you, what's staying the night is at his

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Speaker 3: friend's house. I'm in disbelief that this is happening again,

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Speaker 3: so I immediately screenshot the image and send it to

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Speaker 3: my husband so he can show his boss. I think

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Speaker 3: nothing of it other than I can't believe this lady

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Speaker 3: is pestering us like this. Two nights ago, my sister,

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Speaker 3: twenty seven female calls us and is being very weird

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Speaker 3: and dodgy. For context, she is low key developmentally disabled

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Speaker 3: from years of substance and boozeb on top of many

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Speaker 3: mental disorders. So I just chalk it up to she

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Speaker 3: must have taken something and is tripping badly. We chat

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Speaker 3: and she hangs up then calls back saying that some

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Speaker 3: crazy lady is sending her these weird messages. My heart

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Speaker 3: drops to my stomach because I instantly know it's that

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Speaker 3: crazy coworker again. If someone messaged to you and said

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Speaker 3: boyfriend cheated on you, I approve he gave me an

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Speaker 3: STD bah bah bah, he probably would have given you. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: regardless of whether or not you like fully believe your partner,

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Speaker 3: would you go get an STD test?

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Speaker 1: Uh? Yes, I would too, absolutely, even if I was

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Speaker 1: like full like yeah, like why would I ever think

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Speaker 1: that right safety?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would go get tested.

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Speaker 1: Totally because also like which one, Yeah, that's important to know,

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Speaker 1: and also like I would want to see what the

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Speaker 1: proof is. I would not just say like because he

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Speaker 1: could so be lying about being like I don't know

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Speaker 1: who that is in there.

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Speaker 4: He's like, whoa, whoa, what is my coworker?

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Speaker 1: Just like easy way to at least check that you're

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Speaker 1: all good just in general, always good to get check ups.

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Speaker 4: Totally.

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Speaker 3: My husband leaves the room to talk to her at

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Speaker 3: this point. I think it's a little weird. He doesn't

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Speaker 3: want me to overhear what my sister has to say.

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Speaker 3: But I also think that, oh he knows that this

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Speaker 3: is annoying and bothers me, so he's just handling it.

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Speaker 3: He comes back and I ask him if my sister

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Speaker 3: sent him any screenshots, and he tells me no, that

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Speaker 3: my sister is being weird and dodgy. This answer is

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Speaker 3: acceptable for me, so we ignore everything and just move

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Speaker 3: on with our nighttime routine. After I discover my husband

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Speaker 3: has ghosted me, I think back on that phone call

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Speaker 3: and my anxieties start to take root in my brain.

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Speaker 3: I make the decision to contact his supposed affair partner

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Speaker 3: to see if I can get to the bottom of this.

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Speaker 3: When I call her, she sounds mannic as heck. Can't

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Speaker 3: seem to get a straight answer from her, and she

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Speaker 3: seems out of it. She keeps changing her story or

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Speaker 3: repeating things like lol. When I try to press her

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Speaker 3: to send the screenshots, I ask her what is her motivation?

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Speaker 3: Why is she trying so hard to show me the truth,

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Speaker 3: and she just goes I would want to know. She

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Speaker 3: sends me a couple of screenshots of Instagram conversations they had,

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Speaker 3: but none of them were one definitive proof or two

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Speaker 3: felt like my husband the way sentences were phrased. Nothing

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Speaker 3: read like something he could actually type me.

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Speaker 4: She's like, he keeps howling.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never heard him do that emoji moon emojiof emoji.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. It just doesn't make sense. This doesn't seem like him.

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Speaker 3: On top of this, the content he supposedly shares with her,

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Speaker 3: memes cartoons, aren't stuff I would think he in choice.

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Speaker 3: I texted the screenshots to our friends and they also

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Speaker 3: think that these screenshots are faked. Why anyone would go

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Speaker 3: through the trouble, I can't say. She also had two

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Speaker 3: screen recordings from her nest just showing him entering her apartment.

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Speaker 3: I think they look real, but AI deep fakes have

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Speaker 3: gotten so realistic, so I can't say for certain. The

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Speaker 3: video evidence feels off like Uncanny Valley. The way the

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Speaker 3: figure or husband is walking doesn't feel normal. All her

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Speaker 3: dates and times that she claimed they were together, I

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Speaker 3: obviously can't recall exactly hour by hour what I was

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Speaker 3: doing then and right now, I'm just trying to confirm

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Speaker 3: or deny his supposed movements. I'm trying to give him

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Speaker 3: the benefit of the doubt, but the fact that he's

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Speaker 3: not responding makes me fear the worst. I personally am

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Speaker 3: leaning towards that he is cheating. She just knew some

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Speaker 3: intimate details that I can't explain. I know it's cliche,

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Speaker 3: but my husband is the most kind, genuine person I know.

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Speaker 3: He's incapable of living and going about his life with

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Speaker 3: a lie as big as this. Also, I think I

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Speaker 3: feel like I would have suspected something or picked up

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Speaker 3: on something and I never did. What type of person

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Speaker 3: makes breakfast for his wife then takes the bins to

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Speaker 3: the curb right before he leaves his wife? Or maybe

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Speaker 3: I never knew him at all.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on me neither, Like since

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Speaker 1: she has so much proof, Yeah, it does feel a

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Speaker 1: little bit like opee, I think you're making excuses because

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Speaker 1: that last sentence of like, what kind of a husband

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Speaker 1: would like cheat on his wife and still take out

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Speaker 1: the trash like that cheating kind? I feel like cheaters

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Speaker 1: have done way more. Yeah up, like absolutely way more.

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Speaker 1: But it it like the only thing that is weird

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Speaker 1: to me is that she keeps reaching out to like

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Speaker 1: family members too, Like, Yeah, I don't know if someone

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Speaker 1: would try that hard to convince someone that they are

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Speaker 1: being cheated on unless they're lying, you know.

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Speaker 5: What I mean?

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Speaker 4: Yes, I just don't know. I'm just confused.

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Speaker 3: What's going on. I don't know what's going on. What

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Speaker 3: did the sisters say? Also, Op is like way too

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Speaker 3: like chill. Yeah, She's like yeah, people reached out to me.

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Speaker 3: I said, what the heck's going on there? Yeah? And

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Speaker 3: then my sister was being really weird and wanted to

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Speaker 3: talk to my husband mine. I didn't follow up in that. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It's like there's so many like strings that you should

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Speaker 3: be pulling. Yeah, but there's a little left. I feel

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Speaker 3: like I've cried so much in the past twenty four hours,

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Speaker 3: and regardless of whether or not he's cheating, I think

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Speaker 3: that our relationship is broken. I can't imagine a future

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Speaker 3: without him. But I also don't know how a relationship

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Speaker 3: could survive this. I don't know what to do next.

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Speaker 3: Do I talk to his boss to see if I

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Speaker 3: can get his schedule. Do I drive to him to

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Speaker 3: confront Tim. Do I just wait until if or when

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Speaker 3: he comes back. Do I just take the screenshots at

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Speaker 3: face value and go he's ja dang and file for divorce.

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Speaker 3: I can't just sit around and spiral and fall apart

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Speaker 3: as I replay everything, and that is the end of

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Speaker 3: the story.

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Speaker 4: Dang, So we're just never gonna know the truth.

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Speaker 3: I guess not.

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Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

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Speaker 4: to the next one.

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Speaker 1: My wife has a secret affair and I'm too afraid

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Speaker 1: to leave.

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Speaker 3: Leave.

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Speaker 1: My wife thirty seven female and I thirty four male,

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Speaker 1: have been together now for over ten years.

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Speaker 4: We have a child and own a home.

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Speaker 1: YadA, YadA thang. By the way, this comes from Automatic

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Speaker 1: Citron sixty nine fifty six. And if you want to

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Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the our slash okay story.

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Speaker 1: I'm Subreddit and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, and

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Speaker 1: we're here to give good advice Google leave.

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Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

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Speaker 4: we would know, So let us know what you know.

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Speaker 1: In the comments, it always says about two years ago,

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Speaker 1: my wife was showing me something on her phone in

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Speaker 1: her web browser.

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Speaker 4: She zoomed out and I saw a corner page in

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Speaker 4: the dumb. I didn't get mad.

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Speaker 1: I was actually laughing and asked her what that was,

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Speaker 1: and she took the phone away quickly and tried playing dumb.

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Speaker 1: I said that I saw what the page was and

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Speaker 1: she then told me that she actually heard a rumor

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Speaker 1: about Miss Rachel doing a video in the past, so

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Speaker 1: she wanted to look it up and see if it

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Speaker 1: was real. I took her word for it at the time,

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Speaker 1: but I felt that that was not the whole story. Next,

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Speaker 1: I did something I shouldn't have done, and I looked

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Speaker 1: through her phone when she wasn't looking.

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Speaker 3: Tisk, tisco pie, just tisk. Why aren't we just having

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Speaker 3: another conversation GiMA, right, you know, like, hey, that didn't

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Speaker 3: really feel like the honest truth.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we talk about that. She was watching videos a

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Speaker 4: few times a month, which I would otherwise have no

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Speaker 4: problem with. It's a fairly normal thing to do.

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Speaker 1: But when we first started dating, she told me verbatim

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Speaker 1: that Corn is cheating.

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Speaker 3: Ah, why did she put herself in that in that box?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she could have.

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Speaker 1: She could have started out with like, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think it's actually prifacly fine.

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Speaker 3: I think Corn's fine. Yeah, but she put herself in

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Speaker 3: the I think Guard is chating, so now in her

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Speaker 3: mind she is cheating.

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Speaker 4: She just didn't.

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Speaker 6: She's like, no, no, you miss it.

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Speaker 3: It's for you, for you, for you, go for me.

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Speaker 6: It's just purely research, right, it's.

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Speaker 3: Just for sure. Yeah, I was looking for Miss Rachel,

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Speaker 3: that's all.

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Speaker 6: Don't please, nobody go look for that, please don't.

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Speaker 4: I disagreed, and we never really chatted about it since.

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Speaker 1: Once I gathered enough info how often she does it,

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Speaker 1: what she watches, et cetera. I approached her because I

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Speaker 1: felt terrible that she lied.

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Speaker 3: Tokay, but now you're lying to her. Now you're literally

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Speaker 3: stalking her, like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, phone, come on.

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Speaker 1: I sat her down one night and gave her the

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Speaker 1: option to come clean, tell me the truth, and figure

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Speaker 1: out the next steps.

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Speaker 4: I told her I didn't believe her about the Miss

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Speaker 4: Rachel thing.

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Speaker 1: I told her I think there's more going on, and

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Speaker 1: asked if she wanted to come clean.

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Speaker 4: She continued to lie.

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Speaker 1: We went back and forth for about twenty minutes of

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Speaker 1: me trying to get her to explain to me without

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Speaker 1: me telling her I knew, and she wouldn't, so I

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Speaker 1: finally told her what I saw. She started to cry,

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Speaker 1: blamed the lying and corn on her past traumas, and

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Speaker 1: said that she's been watching it since like younger then

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Speaker 1: most people start watching it. I sympathized with her and

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Speaker 1: told her I really didn't mind because I didn't think

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Speaker 1: of it as cheating, just as satisfying a desire. She

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Speaker 1: told me she wants to stop, and to this day

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Speaker 1: I have no idea if she actually did. She tells

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Speaker 1: me she has stopped. But jump forward about a year

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Speaker 1: and once again, my wife is showing me something on

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Speaker 1: her phone that her father sent her in Facebook Messenger.

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Speaker 4: She backs out.

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Speaker 1: From the screen and I see the name and face

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Speaker 1: of her longtime X like twelve to fifteen years back.

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Speaker 4: Sitting in her messages on Messenger. Dude, what is she doing?

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Speaker 1: Dude?

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Speaker 3: What are you doing?

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Speaker 4: Girl? Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: I didn't bother asking her about it this time. I

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Speaker 1: figured she'd lie again. And also I know that no

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Speaker 1: matter what she told me, I wouldn't believe it, fully

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Speaker 1: because the last time I confronted her about something, she

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Speaker 1: lied and lied and lied until I physically brought the receipts.

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Speaker 3: And at this point, if you don't trust your girlfriend

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Speaker 3: to tell you the truth, yeah, to the point where

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Speaker 3: you're like not even going to bring up the conversation

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Speaker 3: with her, yeah, then maybe we shouldn't be with her.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like it, unfortunately, I mean, you'd think after ten

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Speaker 1: years we'd be at that point. So I took her

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Speaker 1: phone when she wasn't paying attention and went through it

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Speaker 1: and saw that she had been messaging this guy for

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Speaker 1: over six years at this point on Messenger, and they're

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Speaker 1: not even Facebook friends. Notifications are turned off for his

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Speaker 1: messages too. I looked through the messages and never saw

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Speaker 1: anything too alarming, except he tells her she's beautiful, how

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Speaker 1: much he wishes she would move back down to Florida

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Speaker 1: where he's located, and some.

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Speaker 4: Crudes by super related jokes he would say to her.

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Speaker 1: He also offered to pay off her student loans, which

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Speaker 1: I am literally doing right now as the sixty hour

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Speaker 1: a week working husband, and she's a stay at home mom.

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Speaker 1: This all pissed me off, but I noticed that she

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Speaker 1: didn't really reciprocate too much.

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Speaker 4: But she did say that she loved him.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's a bit of a reciprocation. That sounds like

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Speaker 3: it to.

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Speaker 6: Me the moment I read that this is what I

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Speaker 6: look like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely accidentally dropped the phone down the stairs or

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Speaker 1: off a balcony. Uh oh oh, spaghettio, I've been I

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Speaker 1: would have broken up way earlier. And I understand that

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Speaker 1: y'all are married and seemingly have kids.

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Speaker 4: Have kids. Yeah, but you just don't trust her anymore.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't trust her to the point where again,

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Speaker 3: like you don't even have conversations about these things anymore,

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Speaker 3: you just immediately snoop on her phone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I could see why you would give it

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Speaker 1: some time, like after one situation of this, Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, it sounds like a year's like max max

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Speaker 1: amount of time. Fast forward a few months, and I

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Speaker 1: keep looking at the phone every now and again to

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Speaker 1: see the conversations they have.

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Speaker 4: What Why, what are we doing?

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Speaker 1: Why she shares photos and videos or our child with him.

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Speaker 4: I just don't know how to approach this.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to end up getting a divorce and

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Speaker 1: seeing my child a couple times a week for a

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Speaker 1: few hours for the rest of my life. And March,

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Speaker 1: my buddy cheated on his wife and his wife found

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Speaker 1: texts between his fling and him. I told my wife

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Speaker 1: about it because it was big news. This is one

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Speaker 1: of my best friends.

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Speaker 4: Later that same night, I see that she left her.

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Speaker 1: Phone out, so I decided to look through it, and

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00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,200
Speaker 1: the messages between her and her ex are deleted. Seven

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Speaker 1: years of texts wiped so now I have no proof

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Speaker 1: to tell her that I know she has been talking

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Speaker 1: to him. So I let it go and see if

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Speaker 1: something changes over the next few weeks. What oh, pe this.

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00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 1: You do not need proof for her. You need proof

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00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 1: for a lawyer. Yeah, but you do not need proof

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00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,120
Speaker 1: to tell her. Hey, I know that you're cheating.

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00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, what are you looking for?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a year of this, Yeah, like over

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Speaker 1: a year.

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Speaker 4: Over a year of this of just him knowing too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what you're waiting for. I feel

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Speaker 3: like Opee is afraid to end this relationship m hm,

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00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 3: and so just keeps putting it off. Yeah, then needs

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Speaker 3: to be Yeah, ended.

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00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're probably in denial.

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that she just stops talking to him and

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Speaker 1: tells him to boot some rocks.

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Speaker 4: Well, that don't happen.

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Speaker 1: And one night, when she and my child went to

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Speaker 1: sleep over at her grandmother's house, which she did weekly

390
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Speaker 1: to care and spend time with her, I saw that.

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Speaker 4: He asked if she could talk. She said yes. It

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Speaker 4: was midnight.

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Speaker 1: I didn't see the call OG, but I saw the

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Speaker 1: messages before and after she's out of the house.

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Speaker 4: I'm assuming she does her phone with her.

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00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, are we unless there's like an old phone or

397
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 1: something like that. They were on the phone for almost

398
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Speaker 1: an hour and the only reason it ended was because

399
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,159
Speaker 1: our child woke up looking for her, which means she

400
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Speaker 1: called him on another app or through his phone number.

401
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,080
Speaker 1: I got my phone and took a photo of the messages.

402
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Speaker 1: I've been doing this for a few months now. But

403
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,919
Speaker 1: now she has all her social media apps in a

404
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 1: locked folder that only her face can open, which can

405
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Speaker 1: which I assume she did because she was probably assuming

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Speaker 1: that I.

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Speaker 4: Was looking through her phone.

408
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:40,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're doing a bad thing and looking through

409
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Speaker 3: her phone, and now she, because she's lying.

410
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Speaker 6: Has locked the folder.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, why are we still together?

412
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,440
Speaker 1: This is really funny because this is like you both

413
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 1: know exactly what's going on.

414
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, she is cheating.

415
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 1: You know she's cheating. She knows you know she's cheating.

416
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 1: No one's talking about no one's.

417
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Speaker 3: Talking about it.

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Speaker 1: We're just gonna go about this as normal as we

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00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 1: would if we did talk about it. But we're not

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Speaker 1: going to I guess not crazy, insane, insane, she's cheating.

421
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,120
Speaker 1: He's just hanging on because he doesn't want it.

422
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,880
Speaker 4: To be over it. It sounds like that's it. That's it.

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Speaker 3: You know, you know, you know, dude, you know you.

424
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 4: Know what I don't tell you because you know you know,

425
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 4: and now you have proof.

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00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 1: So maybe you could get a little more custody in

427
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 1: the in the you know, if that's what you want.

428
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what he wants.

429
00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 4: I don't know. Man, he wants to not have this exist, yeah,

430
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,400
Speaker 4: which is fair.

431
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 3: He's wants to stick his head in the sand like

432
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:32,960
Speaker 3: little Ostrich.

433
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

434
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,120
Speaker 1: So now I'm here completely in the dark, not sure

435
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 1: if they have conversations on multiple apps or what they

436
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 1: share with each other. I want to call her out

437
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,600
Speaker 1: on it, but I'm afraid that I just won't believe

438
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,320
Speaker 1: anything she says because of what occurred with the Korn

439
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 1: situation a few years back.

440
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 4: That was a few years back.

441
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 5: Now.

442
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 1: I also don't want to because I'm afraid it will

443
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:52,880
Speaker 1: lead to a separation.

444
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 4: And I've worked hard for the little I have.

445
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,800
Speaker 3: I don't want to have anything.

446
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,800
Speaker 1: I don't want her to be able to take half

447
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 1: of it and then take my child and move to

448
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 1: Florida and have.

449
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 4: Another man raise them. Do I bring it up? Leave

450
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 4: it beep?

451
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 1: He does follow her on Instagram now, I just noticed

452
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 1: this yesterday. I guess they talk on there as well.

453
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,160
Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story. But I mean,

454
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,679
Speaker 1: I don't know how legal stuff works. But she can

455
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,439
Speaker 1: just move, Yeah, I don't think you can just I

456
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,439
Speaker 1: understand the fear. But I think it's possible that she

457
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: doesn't take exactly half in the divorce.

458
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, because of the adultrey.

459
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 1: Like I think, depending on, yeah, what state you're in,

460
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 1: I am sure that she wouldn't be able to just

461
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,560
Speaker 1: like get full custody or at least like, I don't.

462
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 3: Think she would be able unless she did get full

463
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,439
Speaker 3: full custody. I don't think she'd just be able to

464
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 3: up and leave the state either.

465
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I think that you'll be okay.

466
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 1: You just seem a little worried right now, which is

467
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 1: very understandable.

468
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 4: Again, but yeah, we talk to a lawyer. Please you

469
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 4: have the screenshots now, that's good?

470
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 3: Sure do Yeah, we do.

471
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, Sean says, open shut the f up.

472
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: She can't just move, Yeah, makes sense, makes sense, depends

473
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 1: on the state. Amanda says, rules are so different. So

474
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 1: good luck to you, OPI. But that's the end of

475
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: that story. We've got another one coming, right, up.

476
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:16,439
Speaker 3: My husband inspects my phone daily while secretly cheating the

477
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 3: whole time.

478
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,160
Speaker 1: Classic cheaters thinking everyone else is cheating.

479
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,880
Speaker 3: So for starters, Me and my husband have a good relationship.

480
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,520
Speaker 3: We don't play games, and we don't hurt each other's hearts,

481
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 3: and we're very careful with what we say. We share location,

482
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 3: and we're very open, and we have our own savings.

483
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 3: But same checking. He's black, I'm Hispanic. I know that

484
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 3: matters to some people, and we just add a newborn baby.

485
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 3: He is now two months old. By the way, this

486
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 3: comes from Mistake No. Forty two ninety four, and if

487
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

488
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime subvered it. I'm Sophia, I'm.

489
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 6: Angie, I'm Dakota, and we're here.

490
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 3: To give good advice goofy, but we don't have all

491
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 3: the answers. We only know what we do, so let

492
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 3: us know what you would do in the comments. I

493
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: love my husband diary really do, but I'm starting to

494
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 3: realize signs that are scaring me, and I'm not sure

495
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 3: if I even have evidence her starters. My husband knows

496
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 3: my password and he's allowed to go on my phone anytime.

497
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 3: But because I trusted him, I never asked for his

498
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,199
Speaker 3: password and I do not go on his phone. But lately,

499
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 3: ever since this marriage started, I have this feeling that

500
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 3: something is wrong, and I'm not sure if he's cheating

501
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: on me or has cheated on me. For some pointers.

502
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 3: He says it was my mom, but I'm not sure anymore.

503
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: Supposedly she told him you might want to check her

504
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 3: phone because I've been hearing her talk to people. I

505
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 3: come from a very toxic household where I couldn't talk

506
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 3: to my friends, and then I was talking to one

507
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 3: of my best friends at the time. She was really

508
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,199
Speaker 3: nice but hated my mom. Well, I ran away and

509
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 3: I lived with my husband. I have a diary on

510
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 3: my phone and I write my personal stuff because I

511
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 3: have short term memory loss and I keep it very private.

512
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 3: My husband wants to see what I was texting, and

513
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 3: I got nervous because it's weird to others what I'm doing,

514
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 3: so I kind of hit it away. Later on that day,

515
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 3: he grabbed my phone. I tried to grab it back

516
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 3: because I thought it was odd, and he ran away

517
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 3: with it. I was going to chase him until I

518
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 3: realized what he's doing and he's going to go through

519
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 3: my phone, and I let him, and of course he

520
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:15,919
Speaker 3: found nothing because I'm not a cheater. Immediately, immediately I'm

521
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 3: considering breaking up.

522
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 4: I think it should be.

523
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, well even if I cheated, even if

524
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: I didn't, if you don't trust me, then we shouldn't

525
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 1: be together to even have a conversation.

526
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 3: You just stole my phone.

527
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, like a little gremlin.

528
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: You could have a conversation, could have happened, and that

529
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 1: could have been better.

530
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,640
Speaker 4: But like, what are you.

531
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 3: Doing besides an ex texting me? But I already texted

532
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: him to not text me again, and I blocked his butt.

533
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 3: But beside that, thinking about it now, only a cheater

534
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 3: thinks the person is cheating on them. I've heard of

535
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 3: that phrase, and I've seen it in many relationships, so

536
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 3: it does scare me. But I also know sometimes people

537
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 3: like me just worry and want to go through the phone.

538
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 3: At the same time, though my actions were just and

539
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 3: not wrong. Next story, my husband has an ex and

540
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 3: probably has a kick with her, and he takes care

541
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 3: of her second child and sends money here and there.

542
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: I think it's not possible. I think that child is hit.

543
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: I think why would he be doing that if.

544
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 4: That child was not hit.

545
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 3: I think he has a child.

546
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 4: I think, oh pee oh pie, it's his child.

547
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 3: But every single time he talks to her, he does

548
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 3: treat me like crap and is disrespectful to me. I

549
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,959
Speaker 3: don't know why I don't bring it up, but I

550
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: know one day I'm gonna snap. As examples, there was

551
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,360
Speaker 3: a time he wanted to go get some shoes. I said,

552
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 3: I know the best places, and we went to the mall.

553
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 3: He wanted to get the little boy these really nice

554
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 3: white shoes. I gave him, my head's up, kids are

555
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 3: very dirty. Are you sure you want to get him that?

556
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 3: And he said, I don't care. They look so cool

557
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 3: and he'll love them. That made me happy, so I agreed.

558
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 3: We went to the mall and I showed him the

559
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 3: white shoes. He was looking at ones that were similar,

560
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 3: but he looked at me in a way that did

561
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 3: hurt me and said, X said that white shoes are

562
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 3: gonna get dirty and pointless, so don't buy them and

563
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 3: don't pick another pair. Honestly, that unlive me. And I

564
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: was pregnant at the time, so I just completely stopped

565
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: because I know so if I say something. I'm gonna

566
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 3: let heck loose. Now. I don't think he's cheating on

567
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 3: me with her because she cheated on him. But I

568
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 3: think it's evidence of him just being disrespectful. But recently,

569
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 3: from three months ago to now, I've been seeing girls

570
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 3: text him on Facebook, Snapchat and his old TikTok account

571
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,160
Speaker 3: until they got deleted. I know he still followed other girls,

572
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 3: especially corn Stars. You knew that. You knew that already

573
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: and has been messaged by girls that are half unclosed.

574
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 3: I'm not surprised most guys do. But the thing that

575
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 3: shocked me is, even though I did the same thing

576
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 3: everything else but corn Stars, I unfriended every single guy

577
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 3: and girl that was showing skin or thirst traps because

578
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 3: I take my relationships very seriously and I'm no longer single.

579
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 3: You unfriended every single person that was showing any amount

580
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 3: of skin.

581
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 6: What this sounds exceptionally unhealthy.

582
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: Yeah. People just sometimes like post pictures. Yeah.

583
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: Then if you feel like that's some sort of disloyalty

584
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: that you're feeling, you scroll by and you don't like it,

585
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: that's what you do. You don't have to unfollow them.

586
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: This is not a reason or a way that you

587
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: need to take your relationship seriously if that's what you

588
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: want to do, whatever, But lets don't want to follow

589
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 1: those people. Sure, sure, if it's because you're in our relationship. Yeah,

590
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: Like I just really urge you to not do that.

591
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: And I don't know, just relax a bit. I get

592
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,719
Speaker 1: like some people are like that, and those people just

593
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: need to find each other. Yeah, and like I don't know,

594
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 1: isolate themselves both or whatever whatever, because it's just gonna happen,

595
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: so it might as well happen to someone who agrees.

596
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 1: But it's just like, dude, you don't need to do

597
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 1: all that. Obviously he's doing more suspicious stuff, but like,

598
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: you don't need to do that, girl, op you just leave.

599
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 2: I think it's so crazy that OPI's willing to do that.

600
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 2: But then is also like aware that her partner has

601
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 2: a secret affair child he's sending money to and she's

602
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 2: not done anything about it or confronting him about it.

603
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's They've talked about it, they've picked.

604
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 1: Out they've went baby shoe shopping together for his possible

605
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: baby with an ex.

606
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 3: Well, it seems like this baby was before her time,

607
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 3: Like okay, so it seems yes. Well, I mean I

608
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 3: feel like you could probably figure it out by age,

609
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 3: that is yeah. However, it is crazy that we're even

610
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 3: using the word possible.

611
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 4: It's very crazy.

612
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: This is his kid, it's just his kid, and I mean,

613
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 1: you know that could be fine, that's like fine, he

614
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: could just have a kid with an ex. But I

615
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,200
Speaker 1: don't know why you're saying possible. I don't know why.

616
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

617
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 4: I don't know.

618
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,479
Speaker 3: He hasn't and still hasn't, and I have seen him

619
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 3: check out girls a lot of times, especially when I

620
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: was pregnant. Oh man, But last night I saw someone

621
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 3: was texting him and it weirded me out. Today, I

622
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 3: don't know why, and it's not like me, but I

623
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 3: made the excuse to take pictures of my baby because

624
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 3: I'm out of storage real fast. I went to his

625
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 3: snapchat and I saw he sent a picture to a

626
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:56,439
Speaker 3: girl four days ago. This girl is hispanic, just his type.

627
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 3: I have no idea who she is, and I'm not

628
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 3: sure if I want to, I know I can find

629
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 3: out more evidence, but I'm actually scared too. And if

630
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: he is cheating, I don't know what to do because

631
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: I can't leave. I have nowhere to go. I'm a

632
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 3: homestead mom, and because of my toxic household, I wasn't

633
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 3: able to graduate school. Now, don't get me wrong, my

634
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 3: husband is wonderful in what way?

635
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 4: I really don't believe that.

636
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 3: In what way is he wonderful?

637
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 4: I really don't believe that.

638
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 3: He took me when I was down, He paid off

639
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 3: my bills, He keeps me emotionally intact, not very well.

640
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like it when I'm not strong, and

641
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 3: physically pleases me. Also, and I do everything the same.

642
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 3: Not only that, I don't mean to toot my own horn,

643
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 3: but I'm very volumptuous, and I'm pretty, and I catch

644
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 3: a lot of male gaze, so I know i'm pretty

645
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 3: to look at for my husband.

646
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: Let them go, let those mailgaze go, please, I deserve to.

647
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 4: Be out there.

648
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 6: What is this vibe? Change? Is crazy?

649
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 3: It's so weird. She's like, I think my husband's cheating

650
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 3: on me, so I've been looking at his phone.

651
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: But also he's amazing, yeah, and also like he's definitely

652
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: lying to me about these things. And also that whole

653
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: shit exchange was weird, so weird, it was weird.

654
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 4: I just don't like it. I like this.

655
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 3: Guy, all right, No, and emotionally I am the strongest

656
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: at times and the smartest when it comes to situations.

657
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 3: What are you talking about?

658
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: Give me a situation and I'll be this smartest gunned bucks.

659
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have to hard disagree with that based

660
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 2: on this situation.

661
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if I'm good enough in both senses, why

662
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 3: what do you cheat on me?

663
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, girl, That's the question that all people

664
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: who have been cheating on asks.

665
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: That's the answer to that doesn't lie within you, you

666
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 2: know it does.

667
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 4: It's not about you, Yeah, not exactly.

668
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 6: It's simply that it's not you.

669
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 3: Literally, what are you doing?

670
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

671
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 3: Because I don't know.

672
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: Like I want to give you some grace, ope, because

673
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: he's probably just been pre manipulative and like, you know,

674
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: not handling your emotions.

675
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, from.

676
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: The few examples that we've seen, it seems like he

677
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: is not a great partner.

678
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 4: So I you know, I'm gonna give you some.

679
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: Grace there, but like, please, let's let's reflect on this

680
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 1: stuff a bit, because to me, this doesn't even sound

681
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: like a oh what do I do?

682
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 4: Kind of story.

683
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: This is a story where these are all bullet points

684
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: of why we're going to break up with him.

685
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 3: I agree, And you can't just keep saying, well, he's

686
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 3: done this, this, this, but he's wonderful.

687
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't that doesn't work. It doesn't work. No,

688
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 4: it doesn't work.

689
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 3: You can't make me believe that. Not only that I'm

690
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: Christian with Christian values and I treat my husband like

691
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 3: a king. I cook for him constantly and everything. But

692
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 3: if he can't do the simple things that bother me

693
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 3: without me telling him, I don't know what to do.

694
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 3: I'm just going through a lot because I'm fifty percent

695
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 3: sure of what I said. Either he's cheated on me,

696
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 3: could have almost cheated, or is definitely cheating right now.

697
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 3: None of those options are he didn't cheat on me,

698
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna stay with him because he's a great guy.

699
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: I'm one hundred percent sure that it's any one of

700
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: those three.

701
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't like it.

702
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: I don't like I think people can have the values

703
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: that they want to have, people can choose the lifestyle

704
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: that they want to have. But I really I hope

705
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: that you don't think that you have to stay with

706
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: this guy and let him cheat on you to be

707
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 1: a good Christian. Yeah, like, I'm not a Christian. I

708
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not gonna speak on how you should

709
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: be a Christian, but I just really hope that you

710
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: don't think that mistreatment and accepting of mistreatment is along

711
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: with your religion.

712
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 4: No, and that's the end of this story. We're going

713
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 4: on to the next one.

714
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here, and we're

715
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: gonna get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

716
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors.

717
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 7: My sister revoked my boyfriend's invite after seeing the DMS.

718
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: I hit, well, yeah, if you had to hide the DMS,

719
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 2: that's not a great sign.

720
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 7: My sister, Eve Non Afternoon, got engaged last year and

721
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 7: I twenty nine female, am her maid of honor. She

722
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 7: is thirty four female. We are not always close, but

723
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 7: we are really close now. She is my big sister

724
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 7: and has always been really protective of me. And I've

725
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 7: had really bad experiences with men, but also been lucky

726
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 7: to know what a good man looks like. By the way,

727
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 7: this comes from Funflower ninety five. And if you want

728
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 7: to spit your old stories, go to the r slash

729
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 7: Okay story Tumpsopper.

730
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 6: I'm Riley I'm Funflower, I'm Dakoded, and I'm Vincent, and

731
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 6: we're here to give good advice.

732
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 7: Schoofully, you're here to comment. Let's get into it. My

733
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 7: boyfriend Kevin thirty three mel of three years, really messed up.

734
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 7: I broke down and told Eve what happened before I

735
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 7: even talked to Kevin. Probably a mistake because I was

736
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 7: just devastated. After confronting Kevin, I chose to stay.

737
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: So he definitely cheated, right, yeah, because it's so bad,

738
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 2: you won't even say it on the post, because you know,

739
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: if you said it on the post, everyone would be like,

740
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 2: why do you do it?

741
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 7: Even though I had my car packed. It felt like

742
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 7: he used all the bad for me manipulative tricks, but

743
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 7: it worked and I'm still here. I really do love

744
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 7: him and care for him, but now Eve is refusing

745
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 7: to acknowledge or talk to him. She also revoked his

746
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 7: invitation to her wedding. Eve does not want him in

747
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 7: the wedding photos and she does not trust him anymore.

748
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 7: I totally understand, and I'm not sure if I even

749
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 7: want him at the wedding anymore. We are still working

750
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 7: on it, but if things do not work out, I

751
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 7: do not want him to be in those photos. I

752
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 7: want to express that I am not mad at my sister.

753
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 7: I am more on her side than his. He made

754
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 7: a huge mistake and now he is suffering the consequences.

755
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 7: But I am right in the middle of it. He

756
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 7: is devastated. He loves my family and now feels like

757
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 7: everything is falling apart.

758
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 5: So do I.

759
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 7: Thanksgiving or Christmas are coming up. Eve is getting married

760
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 7: in a few days after Christmas. How am I supposed

761
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 7: to have my boyfriend around the family for Thanksgiving and

762
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 7: Christmas dinner. Eve does not want to talk to him

763
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 7: at all. It will be obvious. She has sworn to

764
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 7: secrecy and will not tell anyone, especially not my parents.

765
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 7: But if she acts like that, they will know something

766
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 7: is up, and all they will want to talk about

767
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 7: is the wedding that my boyfriend knows he is not

768
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 7: invited to, but cannot tell anyone he is not invited to.

769
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 7: I am the maid of honor, so I have to

770
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 7: be involved. It's just a mess. But he is not

771
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 7: at the wedding. I will have to lie and say

772
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 7: he has the VID and afterwards, I don't know. Should

773
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 7: Kevin talk to Eve? Should he try to remedy. It

774
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 7: is the relationship over.

775
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 6: Third times the jar. Yeah, the relationship's over, dude.

776
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,719
Speaker 7: I cannot imagine being with someone my sister does not trust,

777
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 7: my parents, my dad, especially love Kevin. I found out

778
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 7: that he has been messaging his exes and another woman

779
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 7: in April from this year, really nasty stuff. One was

780
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 7: even a closure message to someone he fell in love

781
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 7: with years ago. He also messaged bots on Instagram, posting

782
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 7: as spicy latinas. We have lived together for over a year.

783
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 7: So I slowly started organizing and gathering things. I was

784
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 7: prepared to leave, and it took me weeks to confront

785
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 7: him because I felt so hard. I knew my life,

786
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 7: our relationship would change. I was scared to lose that

787
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 7: comfort I found him in. I chose to forgive him.

788
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 7: We had a big talk. I said he needed to

789
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 7: step up Yanayana. Months later, nothing changed. He was still

790
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 7: up to his antics of not being a very good boyfriend,

791
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 7: just unsupportive, unhelpful, lazy. September comes around, We're watching TV.

792
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 7: He's on X and I see him go to his

793
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 7: messages and quickly exit outs. I knew something was up.

794
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 7: I decided to check his socials while he was at work,

795
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 7: and behold, I found new messages with the bot on X.

796
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 7: She was sending him almost spicy picks and whatnot, and

797
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 7: he was responding, calling her baby, et cetera.

798
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 6: Oh my god. You know that's just like, dude, you

799
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 6: know what this is. You know what this is.

800
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 5: So on X they.

801
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 7: Launched in eighteen in eighteen plus messaging thing where you

802
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 7: can talk with like an ai bo and they'll send

803
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 7: you like spicy messages back and forth.

804
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 4: That's what this is.

805
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 2: I can't imagine a single thing worse for your mental

806
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 2: health than spicy texting a robot designed to give you

807
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 2: exactly what you want.

808
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 7: I went numb and I could not cry.

809
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 3: At first.

810
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 7: He was supposed to be that guy. We're good friends

811
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,240
Speaker 7: for years before we started dating. He warned me against

812
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 7: those guys who told me to stay away, that any

813
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 7: dude who still talks to his ex or other women

814
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 7: is just keeping his options open, and it's disgusting. He

815
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 7: was not supposed to be that guy. This is what

816
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 7: caused me to break down in front of my sister.

817
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 7: I did not tell her what happened in April. I

818
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 7: only told her about the bot. He was messaging on X.

819
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

820
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 7: I'm really good at disassociating too, so that is kind

821
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 7: of what I've been doing, totally avoiding confrontation with Kenna.

822
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 6: So eared flex.

823
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 7: The sister only knows about the Latina AI bot.

824
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and not that, but even that alone is like, yeah,

825
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 2: sisters are reacting appropriately and you should just break up

826
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 2: with him. He wants to date the computer. He wants

827
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 2: to date the computer. He'll date the computer as soon

828
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 2: as they make like clone or whatever, like robot girlfriend technology,

829
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 2: which that's on the way.

830
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 7: It's here for five hundred bucks.

831
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: You're gonna for I think five thousand as soon as

832
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 2: they have that, and he can do it, it's over,

833
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 2: You're gone.

834
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 7: We finally talked about everything the other day, and he

835
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 7: completely is devastated. I tried talking to my sister about

836
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 7: whether she felt any differently, and she said no, she

837
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 7: does not want to talk to him or acknowledge him.

838
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 7: And he is still not invited to the wedding. He's

839
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,959
Speaker 7: upset and does not think it's fair, but he also

840
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 7: get to it. He thinks she should change her mind.

841
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 7: If I thought harder for him and advocated for our relationship.

842
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 7: WTFM I supposed to advocate for right now. That is

843
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 7: basically what I told him. In nicer words, Kevin was

844
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 7: supposed to be the nice guy. I chose the nice

845
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 7: guy over money, overlooks, over everything. I chose a guy

846
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 7: that I thought would be a good partner and a

847
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 7: good father. One day, as stupid as it sounds, he

848
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 7: was messaging on bide and that is what did us in.

849
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 7: It is hard to believe something so stupid would destroy

850
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 7: our relationship. It brings up images of messages I saw

851
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 7: in April, and it is triggering. I know I'm not

852
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 7: responsible for his actions, but when he cried and told

853
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 7: me he was nothing without me, he couldnot do it

854
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 7: without me, I believed him because I feel the same way.

855
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 7: But it felt really unreal. I had my car packed

856
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 7: and I waited for him to get home from work.

857
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 7: When he did, I told him I was leaving. We

858
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 7: talked for like two days, and I ended up staying

859
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 7: more for him than me. But now a month later,

860
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 7: I am just sad and confused. I love him and

861
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 7: do not want to see him so hurt, but he

862
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 7: caused this. Should my boyfriend try to talk to my sister?

863
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 7: Or is this relationship just doom. Now we have an update. Gurley,

864
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 7: Gurley Pop, Girly Girly Pop. So this is what happened.

865
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 7: April he was messaging other girls on Instagram. September he

866
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 7: was messaging sixty Latina aibot.

867
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: Presumably because none of the women on Instagram wanted anything

868
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 2: to do with him, because I can't imagine, you know,

869
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 2: maybe that was the reason Opie was able to dissociate

870
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 2: and stay because she's like, well, there was no cheating

871
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 2: that happened because all of the women were like ewgross.

872
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, so he kind of failed at doing it. But

873
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 6: it's not that he It's just about the fact he

874
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 6: tried to do it at all.

875
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just about the fact that he's getting some

876
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: sort of emotional or semple or some kind of gratification

877
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 2: from a freaking AI bot from coding.

878
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 6: Update.

879
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 4: We had a long talk.

880
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 7: I studied the threads all week, so I came prepared.

881
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 7: He's still guilty me about the wedding. I told him

882
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 7: I did not want him to be there. He said

883
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 7: that if that's the case, I should just go home.

884
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 7: I said, okay, I will. Then he proceeded to excuse

885
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 7: his actions again and again. I promise I will not

886
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 7: do it again. I will be better for you. I

887
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,720
Speaker 7: knew it was a bide. I was just messing around

888
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 7: to see what it would do.

889
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 3: It meant nothing.

890
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 7: What do you even want? Is anything I do good

891
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 7: enough for you? I am embarrassed and disappointed in myself.

892
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 7: I do not want to exist. I have no one anyway.

893
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 7: If she doesn't want me to be a part of

894
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 7: the family or go to the wedding, then fine. She

895
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 7: never liked me and was probably hoping for an opportunity

896
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 7: to get rid of me. Does the last three years

897
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 7: mean anything to you?

898
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 6: You know I love you.

899
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 7: It's because Eve knows and does not want me at

900
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 7: the wedding, and that's why you were feeling like this.

901
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 7: Oh my god, it's that manipulative bag and forth tone hateful,

902
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,240
Speaker 7: then revorceful, try and gauge if he will get comfort

903
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 7: and reassurance from me, depending on how he phrases it.

904
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 7: I held my ground. I kept imaging if this was

905
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 7: my sister Eve, or if my other sister Jace thirty

906
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 7: four female or my best friend Gig thirty mail Jason

907
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 7: gg knew what had happened since April. Both encouraged me

908
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 7: to leave, but both were hesitantly supportive. When I decided

909
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 7: to give him another chance, I thought of my future.

910
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 7: I told him he was coming off as really manipulative.

911
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 7: That kind of switched something inside of him. He said

912
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 7: he just wants to fight for me. I told him,

913
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 7: fighting for me and respecting my boundaries are different. Thanks,

914
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 7: you had six months to fight for me and you

915
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,800
Speaker 7: did nothing but message about But six months this is nothing.

916
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,359
Speaker 7: This has been the hardest time in my life. I'm

917
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 7: going home on Thursday alone. I do not think I

918
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 7: will be able to pack all my stuff in the

919
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 7: car like I did last time I try to leave.

920
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 7: His schedule is different this week, so he will be

921
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 7: home on Thursday. He knows my weaknesses. He will likely

922
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 7: say or do something that triggers me to stay with him,

923
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 7: either calling me soul this or accusing me of never

924
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 7: loving him, or he accused me of wanting to sleep

925
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 7: with other guys. I do not want to chance it.

926
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 7: I am not sure what he would do if he

927
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 7: saw me packing all my stuff again, so I'm just

928
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 7: packing essentials. He knows I'm going home for a few

929
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 7: days and that if he did not respect my boundaries

930
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 7: this time around, it would speak volumes. He accepted it

931
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 7: and told me I should go home. I probably have

932
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 7: to involve someone in my family to help me get

933
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 7: my stuff. Maybe Eve, maybe my dad, definitely your dad,

934
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 7: maybe both. I know Eve would be pumped to help

935
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 7: me with that. The other issue was all the heavy

936
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 7: stuff in my house right mom's house too. Yes, he

937
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 7: was thirty when we first dated and lived.

938
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 3: At my home with his mom. Yes, big ick.

939
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 5: I know.

940
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 7: The reason why I have not just left is because

941
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 7: I have no idea how he reacts. My piano means

942
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 7: so much to me. I'm also an amateur nature photographer,

943
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 7: and he has all of my photos on a hard

944
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 7: drive at his mom's house. I do not want him

945
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 7: to destroy my stuff or threaten me with it. So yeah,

946
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 7: I have to get my stuff from his apartment and

947
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 7: his mom's house. My sister, Jason's husband suggested I hire

948
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 7: movers to get my stuff from his mom's house. I

949
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 7: do not want to see or talk to his family.

950
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 2: I know that it's clearly you're leaving a very hard situation,

951
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,720
Speaker 2: but like, you can't just like leave all that stuff

952
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 2: and be like I hope for the best, because it's

953
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 2: not gonna have it so you got to go. I

954
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 2: don't care if you don't want to see his family.

955
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 2: You're gonna see him one more time when you grab

956
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:54,919
Speaker 2: your stuff and leave.

957
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, one more time. Can you give me one

958
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 6: more Can you just give me one more time?

959
00:40:59,520 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 4: Please?

960
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,280
Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story.

961
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 4: We're gonna go on to the next one.

962
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,959
Speaker 6: My girlfriend wants to move out after we bought the house.

963
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 3: Let her move out.

964
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 2: My partner, female thirty five, and I male thirty five

965
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,759
Speaker 2: have known each other for sixteen years and have been

966
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 2: together for almost nine. She lived in a capital city

967
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: and moved upstate soon after our relationship started. Within three months,

968
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,439
Speaker 2: we rented our first apartment. By the way, this comes

969
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 2: from user thesu seven and if you want to submit

970
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Subburdy.

971
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good

972
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 2: advice goof ley because we don't have all the answers.

973
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 6: We only want to be freaking goofballs most of the time. Dude.

974
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: But so if you know stuff that we don't know,

975
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,959
Speaker 2: let us know in the comments. Over the years, we've

976
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 2: had our ups and downs. I used to be a

977
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 2: very bad partner in regards to household chores, and years

978
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:53,879
Speaker 2: of excessive bank bank withdrawals made me a lazy bed mate.

979
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 2: Despite this, I've always been extremely loving and caring. She

980
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 2: called herself a loves and.

981
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 6: I was all too happy to give her more and

982
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 6: more love.

983
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 2: She almost broke up with me twice, both times because

984
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 2: of how awful I was when it came to chores,

985
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 2: and the shock of the second time was what made

986
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 2: me straighten up and develop a habit of always checking

987
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,280
Speaker 2: for stuff that needs doing and doing them before watching

988
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 2: TV or playing video games. I'd tried doing that a

989
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: few times before, but the improvements were always temporary, and

990
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,879
Speaker 2: I lapsed as soon as I felt she was okay again.

991
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 2: Spicy sleep was still an issue though. Last November, she

992
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: befriended a guy, and when she told me about him,

993
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 2: I could sort of see a sparkle in her eyes,

994
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 2: and that worried me a bit. Some weeks later, this

995
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 2: said guy asked her if our relationship was open. It wasn't,

996
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 2: but we had an agreement that if someone that peaked

997
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 2: our interest showed up at some point, we'd talk about

998
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 2: it to decide on how to proceed. That's what she did,

999
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 2: and I took it kind of badly, not terribly, but

1000
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: insecurity did settle in. I asked her to be careful

1001
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 2: and voiced that something about him felt suspicious, so I

1002
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 2: was mostly against her pursuing it. They still talked for

1003
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,800
Speaker 2: a while, but she started noticing that he'd only message

1004
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: her when he had another female friend interested in having

1005
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: zispassa sleep. Finally understanding that he was only interested in

1006
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 2: her for amnon jittlar, and she blocked him.

1007
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 6: I understood that she wanted.

1008
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 2: To feel desired, though, but I was too used to

1009
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: watching corn Nah and relieving myself to actually see her

1010
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,919
Speaker 2: for the beautiful, attractive woman she was, and she missed

1011
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 2: that badly. Still, I didn't make a single effort to

1012
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:33,280
Speaker 2: change that. Cut to July, another male friend, a really

1013
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 2: decent guy, told her he was into her and asked

1014
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: if i'd be okay with them going out. I didn't

1015
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: take it all that well, but better than the first

1016
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 2: time I felt threatened, especially given how similar to me

1017
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 2: he looked. Anyway, I think that was the push I

1018
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 2: needed to start really seeing her as the woman she is.

1019
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 3: How was the push? That was the push?

1020
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 4: That's where we're like drawing the line.

1021
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, the push was a better version of you being like,

1022
00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 6: can I date your girlfriend?

1023
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 5: The push was just you showing up to your own

1024
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 5: house being like, hey, dude, I'm a dator now.

1025
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 2: Being more open about my spasive proclivity and the things

1026
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 2: that get me doing. Our spicy sleep life changed completely,

1027
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 2: becoming frequent, intensely you passionate. So another problem completely fixed,

1028
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 2: right mm yeah, But she still wanted to, in her

1029
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 2: own words.

1030
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 6: Experience these other cannuctionans, and I did what I could

1031
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 6: to respect that.

1032
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,320
Speaker 2: She said it had nothing to do with me, and

1033
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 2: that she was perfectly satisfied with me as a partner,

1034
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 2: and that other people were just other people. It was

1035
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 2: all true, but I was so unbearably insecure. I constantly

1036
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: asked for her reassurance, and it took its toll on her.

1037
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: At some point I could see she was exhausted, and

1038
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,720
Speaker 2: I was suffering too much to endure it any longer.

1039
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 2: On the same day, I told her I couldn't take

1040
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 2: it anymore. She said they had ended their fling three dates.

1041
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 2: It really wasn't anything to worry about. But I made

1042
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 2: a mountain out of a mole hill, and that only hurt.

1043
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:52,240
Speaker 6: Us for no reason.

1044
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 3: What did she tell you that?

1045
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 5: Did she say, Oh, you've just made a mountain out

1046
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 5: of a moil?

1047
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 3: Are you clating?

1048
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 6: Cause, buddy, do you like stop letting everything else in

1049
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,800
Speaker 6: your life think for you? You have to think for yourself.

1050
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 6: You're like, oh my god.

1051
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, me being insecure about her wanting to woink other people, Yeah,

1052
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 2: that really weighed on her.

1053
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 6: No, we weighed on you.

1054
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 2: Last night, after she got back from her theater group,

1055
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,240
Speaker 2: she told me we had to break up. Her reasons

1056
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 2: didn't make sense at first, not even for her, but

1057
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 2: after lots of talking, she finally managed to explain it.

1058
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 2: Since her teens, she had always been living relationship to relationship,

1059
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 2: and she never lived adulthood by herself. Seeing that decent

1060
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 2: dude living happily by himself made her covet that experience

1061
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 2: for her. She started wondering about how she doesn't really

1062
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 2: know who she is, doesn't know what she wants, doesn't

1063
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 2: know where I end and where she starts, and so on. Essentially,

1064
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 2: we become so codependent. She's having an identity crisis. She

1065
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 2: doesn't even know what her dreams are. We bought a

1066
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 2: house last year, adopted two more dogs. That's a total

1067
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,320
Speaker 2: of three dogs and three cats. Made many renovations, traveled

1068
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 2: and planned a lot of stuff. The fact that we

1069
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: did all that without her really knowing why leaves me

1070
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:04,800
Speaker 2: so confused. She says she loves me and loves the

1071
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,319
Speaker 2: house and loves our pets, and yet she hurts. There

1072
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 2: had been so many times this year in which I

1073
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 2: thought she looked lost, but I had no idea how badly.

1074
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: We talked all day today, and she said a lot

1075
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 2: of stuff that suggests she doesn't actually want to break up.

1076
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 2: She's still planning on going on dates and concerts with me,

1077
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,359
Speaker 2: and watching stuff together and taking care of our house

1078
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 2: and bathing our pets and so on. But she does

1079
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 2: need space and wants to live alone for a while.

1080
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 2: We're gonna move some furniture around the house during the

1081
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 2: weekend so we can start sleeping in separate bedrooms, an

1082
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 2: old suggestion made by a couple we're friends with who

1083
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: have been living this way for years. And we'll both

1084
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 2: try to spend more time by ourselves when we're at

1085
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 2: home and going out with our friends while the other

1086
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,959
Speaker 2: person is doing something else or someone else. She wants

1087
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: us to disentangle financially over the next few months, so

1088
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 2: she can rent a place where she can live alone

1089
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 2: for a while, hopefully with both of us growing along

1090
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 2: the process. I believe that'll be very beneficial for both

1091
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 2: of us. She says, I'm a perfect partner, that she

1092
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 2: loves me and wants to grow old with me.

1093
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 6: Stop it, gosh, she said, this point, break take a break,

1094
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 6: break up.

1095
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 3: If you guys are meant to be together, you'll come

1096
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: back together.

1097
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:05,919
Speaker 7: At this point, just cut it off.

1098
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 6: Be your own person for literally, she says, there's no

1099
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 6: one else she wants to be with. She said, I

1100
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:11,879
Speaker 6: can hope for the best.

1101
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 2: We hug and we kiss, and we keep grabbing each

1102
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 2: other and calling each other cute names. With all that,

1103
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 2: it's hard for me not to feel almost as if

1104
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 2: we're not breaking up at all. Yet there's this terrifying

1105
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 2: feeling that things could still end if when she finally

1106
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 2: gets to know herself and figure out what she wants

1107
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 2: from life.

1108
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 6: I'm not a part of that.

1109
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 2: She's been struggling with depression and anxiety since she was fourteen, theater,

1110
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 2: and lately she'd been waking up in these really deep

1111
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 2: valleys of depression, wanting to stay in bed, crying all day,

1112
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 2: feeling nothing but emptiness. She started taking a new medication,

1113
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 2: one that apparently starts having its full effect after one

1114
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 2: week of treatment. Today marks the third week since she

1115
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 2: began taking that antidepressant, and I wonder if the clouded

1116
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: reasoning or judgment part of the side effects list has

1117
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 2: something to do with her seemingly abrupt decision. Even without

1118
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 2: the medicine, though, it's still feels as if one of

1119
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,879
Speaker 2: us asking to break up was inevitable. We've been too

1120
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 2: wary of each other this whole year. If either of

1121
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 2: us looked sad or upset, the other would ask if

1122
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 2: they said or did something, and so on. He became

1123
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 2: so dependent on how the other one was feeling that

1124
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 2: our relationship became restless.

1125
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 5: I'm over this dude, and I need him to just

1126
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 5: like get out of this relationship or else I'm like

1127
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:24,399
Speaker 5: over it, honestly, Like your girlfriend has given you every

1128
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 5: reason to know that she really doesn't want a relationship.

1129
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 5: She has said, like my whole life, I've just jumped

1130
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 5: relationship to relationship. I do not know what I want

1131
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 5: or what I'm doing or anything. But then drags you

1132
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 5: back in and has a house with you.

1133
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, you really want to have a house.

1134
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 5: And three dogs with someone who's like and every day

1135
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 5: I just kind of wonder if I actually like you.

1136
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 6: Yeah, the flip flop. You can't do the flip flop.

1137
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 2: You're in charge of three dogs and three cats and

1138
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 2: three cats and a house. Honestly, dude, just give her

1139
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 2: exactly what she wants it. Give her exactly what she

1140
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 2: says you want. She said, Okay, you want independence, you

1141
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 2: want to figure out your own life.

1142
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 6: We're breaking up.

1143
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 2: I'll keep the house since clearly this is not a

1144
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 2: part of your life, and you don't think any of

1145
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 2: this is you.

1146
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:02,879
Speaker 6: So you go figure yourself out.

1147
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 2: And then if you figure out that you want to

1148
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 2: be within this, I guess you can come back or

1149
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 2: we'll see, because I won't know if I even want

1150
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 2: that anymore.

1151
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 5: You know, there would have to be like a lot

1152
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 5: of healing on my own part. I feel like first,

1153
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 5: and then the question of am I even cool if

1154
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:18,439
Speaker 5: you come back.

1155
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 6: We've got a little bit left here. I want us

1156
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 6: to find our mutual peace again. I want us to

1157
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:23,800
Speaker 6: be happy.

1158
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 2: There's no one else I'd rather be within the whole world.

1159
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 2: Do you have any suggestions? What would you do in

1160
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 2: my place? We already know, dude, we know what we

1161
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: would do.

1162
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 5: We'd get out of there.

1163
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 4: We would we would break up.

1164
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

1165
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 2: Corn can be fun, but too much of it can

1166
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 2: be pausinous. I still watch it, I just don't drain

1167
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 2: my libido in it anymore. Talking about it openly with

1168
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 2: my partner also helped wonders. I think you have a point.

1169
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 2: She can't leave immediately because we spent all of our

1170
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 2: savings with the house and the renovations, so we'll sleep

1171
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:54,839
Speaker 2: in separate bedrooms and do our best to give each

1172
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 2: other space until she's financially comfortable to move out. I

1173
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 2: don't want her to feel pressured at all. I was

1174
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,800
Speaker 2: brief involved with another person but decided it wasn't for me.

1175
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 2: During our talk, she wondered if these experiences with other

1176
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 2: people weren't her trying to deal with these identity issues.

1177
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 2: She'll be the one moving out because I'll stay with

1178
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 2: all of our pets, as I think taking care of

1179
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 2: any of them will make it harder for her to

1180
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 2: focus on herself. I didn't make it clear on my post,

1181
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,800
Speaker 2: but I've progressed a lot over the years to the

1182
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 2: point that I have a much easier time keeping the

1183
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 2: house tidy than she does. I think her moving out

1184
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 2: and living alone for a while will put a ton

1185
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 2: of things into perspective. And she said she wants me

1186
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 2: to be her boyfriend in the meanwhile, it's cute. It's cute,

1187
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not even I'm just gonna keep going.

1188
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 2: Most of all, I want her to be able to

1189
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 2: live and enjoy being around her friends and doing her

1190
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 2: stuff without worrying about my mood or wondering if she

1191
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 2: should be spending time with me instead. As I believe

1192
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 2: this codependency is the root cause of the problems in

1193
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 2: our relationship.

1194
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,760
Speaker 6: And that is the end of that story. She doesn't

1195
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 6: sound codependent.

1196
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 5: She sounds very independent on gode vendit.

1197
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story.

1198
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 4: We're gonna go on to the next one.

1199
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and

1200
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: we're going to get back to the stories.

1201
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,320
Speaker 4: But here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

1202
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,720
Speaker 5: My boyfriend keeps bringing up his ex and I'm losing

1203
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 5: my mind over it. The long story, I twenty three

1204
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 5: female met my boyfriend twenty four male in the beginning

1205
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 5: of twenty twenty five. In fact, we quite literally met

1206
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,359
Speaker 5: on New Year's Eve and quickly began talking. At the time,

1207
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 5: I was in an extremely awful relationship. By the way

1208
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 5: this comes from otherwise produce six two one, and if

1209
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 5: you want to see your own stories, go to the

1210
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 5: rslash Okay storytime sub reddit.

1211
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 6: I'm Carly, I'm.

1212
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 4: Dakota, and I'm Vincent, and we're here to.

1213
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 3: Give good advice.

1214
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 5: Goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We only

1215
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 5: know what we would do, So let us know what

1216
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 5: you would do in the comments.

1217
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 4: I know, he says.

1218
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 5: Meeting my current boyfriend on New Year's Eve was one

1219
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,280
Speaker 5: of the wake up calls I needed to finally change

1220
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 5: my locks and take all of my ex'es stuff out

1221
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 5: of the apartment. My ex and I had been on

1222
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 5: and off since October trying to work through his infidelity,

1223
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 5: but ultimately I held an unhealthy and unbecoming grudge and

1224
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,359
Speaker 5: I could not get over it and the relationship was ended.

1225
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 6: Now.

1226
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 4: When I met my.

1227
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 5: Current boyfriend, he had told me that he had just

1228
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 5: gotten out of a three year relationship in November and

1229
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 5: he was figuring himself out and didn't want anything serious

1230
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 5: or committed. He was blindsidedly dumped, but he claims that

1231
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 5: he knew it wasn't working for a few months before

1232
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 5: the split. We took our time getting to know each

1233
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:38,919
Speaker 5: other and spent time together first platonically, before we moved

1234
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,919
Speaker 5: into anything romantic. I understand that it takes a long

1235
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 5: time to process a relationship, and since we weren't dating,

1236
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 5: I didn't really mind as much when he talked about

1237
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 5: his ex because I did the same thing. However, the

1238
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 5: way we talked about our exes could not have been

1239
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 5: more different. My last relationship was abundantly more awful than his,

1240
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 5: so I understand why him and his were able to

1241
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 5: part on good terms. There was no violence, no harmful act,

1242
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 5: no breaking in, just two people realizing that they tried

1243
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 5: to make it work and it just didn't. What confused

1244
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 5: me was all of the mixed messages he was conveying,

1245
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 5: saying things like he never wanted to be back with

1246
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 5: her again, that he's completely over the relationship, just not

1247
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 5: overprocessing it. But then other times he had even told

1248
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 5: me that he was still in love with her or

1249
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 5: still in love with who she used to be. He

1250
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 5: told me how much he liked me, but then would

1251
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 5: encourage me to see and sleep with other people when

1252
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 5: I actually did see other people. After being very fed

1253
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 5: up and confused about what he wanted and started to

1254
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 5: focus on more of what I wanted, he was really hurt,

1255
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,240
Speaker 5: even cried and told me to make up my mind

1256
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 5: between him and the other person. He told me he

1257
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 5: felt betrayed and used. I assured him that I had

1258
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 5: no intentions of using him, and I was very confused

1259
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,399
Speaker 5: about where our relationship stood because he would get very

1260
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 5: uncomfortable whenever I tried to talk about it.

1261
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 2: Rabbed yourself a shovel and dig about six feet down,

1262
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 2: and that's where the relationship should be standing.

1263
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 6: Okay.

1264
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 5: After seeing each other for about five months, I told

1265
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 5: him that I was beginning to catch feelings, and I

1266
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 5: think it'd be more appropriate if we saw other people,

1267
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,720
Speaker 5: because as far as I was concerned, we wanted different things,

1268
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 5: and I want to protect my peace as well as his.

1269
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,919
Speaker 5: The boiling point for me was in early May, month

1270
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 5: five of the situationship.

1271
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 2: That is the most cursed sentence five months of situationship.

1272
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,880
Speaker 6: That's no, that's not a no no.

1273
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 5: When I saw that he was openly texting his ex

1274
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 5: right in front of me, and I had also recently

1275
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 5: found out that he had lied about hooking up with

1276
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 5: a different girl back in January. He only told me

1277
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 5: because he felt guilty about a medical issue I had. Afterwards,

1278
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 5: he told me that me telling him how I felt

1279
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 5: about his behavior and his attitude towards whatever we had

1280
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 5: was a call to Jesus moment for him, and that

1281
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 5: no one deserves to be treated that way, and that

1282
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 5: he was very sorry for not respecting me as my

1283
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 5: own person.

1284
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 6: Jesus came down and told me that I can't treat

1285
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 6: you this way. Jesus came down and gave me my directions.

1286
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 6: I am sorry.

1287
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 5: We decided to start over, and after a few months

1288
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 5: of things going well, we became an official couple. These days,

1289
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:19,280
Speaker 5: he gets angry, very angry when I bring up anything

1290
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 5: that happened before the end of June or when we

1291
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 5: officially started dating. I'm still working on trust, as I

1292
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:28,280
Speaker 5: have wounds for my last relationship and my current boyfriend

1293
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 5: and I did not get off to the smoothest of starts,

1294
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 5: with him not being willing to talk about anything regarding

1295
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 5: the situationship we were in for about five months before

1296
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 5: our reset or his call to Jesus moment. If I

1297
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 5: asked what his intentions were or what he was thinking,

1298
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 5: he would tell me I was stressing him out, and

1299
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 5: then he would not talk to me for the rest

1300
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 5: of the day, sometimes multiple days. I've told him before

1301
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 5: how much that had hurt me and how I think

1302
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 5: any relationship, romantic, friendship, familial, platonic, whatever, still requires a

1303
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 5: certain amount of communication, and that I don't think he

1304
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 5: was respecting me as an individual with my own thoughts

1305
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 5: and feelings. He said he totally agrees, and that he

1306
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,879
Speaker 5: was in such a bad mental state and was more

1307
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 5: concerned with himself and didn't realize how much he was

1308
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 5: hurting me. He has told me time and time again

1309
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 5: that he was being stupid back then. If he could

1310
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 5: go back in time and just redo everything since we

1311
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 5: met and tell himself that he was being an effing idiot,

1312
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 5: that he would. But we can't change the past, and

1313
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 5: luckily I'm here for our future. Man, I don't care

1314
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 5: about what you could have done. I care about what

1315
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 5: we are going to do to fix it moving forward.

1316
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,280
Speaker 5: It is reassuring for him to acknowledge that his actions

1317
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 5: hurt me. However, I still feel a lot of unease

1318
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 5: moving forward with him. A lot of my friends tell

1319
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 5: me when I bring this up to them, why would

1320
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 5: you want to be with someone who you can't even trust?

1321
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,080
Speaker 5: I think they raise a fair point, and I've been

1322
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 5: thinking a lot about it these past few weeks.

1323
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 4: I was just like, he's cute, a hot. I like

1324
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 4: him in his body, but I like the way he

1325
00:56:58,640 --> 00:56:59,919
Speaker 4: looks when he walks out around.

1326
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 5: A lot of our fights revolve around me being insecure

1327
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 5: and not fully being able to trust him. Yet I

1328
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 5: have told him before that trust to me is freely

1329
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,839
Speaker 5: given until broken, and when it is broken, it must

1330
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 5: be earned back again through consistency. To my knowledge, we

1331
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 5: both care for each other, but I feel like he misunderstands.

1332
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 5: I don't want any grand gestures. I don't need phone calls,

1333
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 5: text messages, all that cute stuff every day. I'm not

1334
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 5: really a big fan of saying I love you all

1335
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 5: the time, because I feel like the more you say it,

1336
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 5: the more it loses its value. All I really want

1337
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 5: is to feel like when he's looking at me, he's

1338
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 5: looking at me. I want him to listen when I

1339
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 5: speak and to say things like I understand and.

1340
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 3: I'm willing to listen and compromise.

1341
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,240
Speaker 5: We had what I would consider a healthy dialogue about

1342
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:47,439
Speaker 5: our boundaries and what we would both like to see

1343
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 5: from each other moving forward. He said he wants me

1344
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 5: to stop bringing up the past, and I told him

1345
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,560
Speaker 5: I needed him to be more communicative and forthcoming about

1346
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 5: his feelings. I told him, I recognize that I'm being

1347
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 5: very insecure and I need to stop comparing myself to

1348
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 5: his ex and he agreed. However, it doesn't make it

1349
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 5: the easiest thing when he's constantly bringing her up.

1350
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, just freaking acknowledge that you are not ready for

1351
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 2: another relationship and freaking don't be in one.

1352
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 6: Hello, oh wow, knock knock, it's the stupid police.

1353
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 5: I care for him deeply, and I want to see

1354
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 5: him succeed and thrive in life, and I want the

1355
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 5: same for myself and those around me. I don't want

1356
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 5: him to feel like he has to hide his past.

1357
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 5: But lately there are things that he does or says

1358
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 5: that genuinely stress me out, and I'm not sure if

1359
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,919
Speaker 5: it's because I'm horribly insecure, or if these are things

1360
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 5: I should bring up to maintain healthy communication with him. Again,

1361
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 5: my last relationship was horrendous and I've never really experienced

1362
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 5: a healthy relationship before, so I'm not sure how to

1363
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 5: go about some things and what's considered to be healthy

1364
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 5: behavior or not. I don't want him to feel like

1365
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 5: I am superfluously punishing him for his behavior before we

1366
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 5: started dating, or unnecessarily bringing up the past, but it's

1367
00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 5: very important that he understands that it did impact me

1368
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 5: and my current ability to trust him. Please, if any

1369
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 5: of y'all are in a healthy relationship or if you

1370
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 5: have had a similar experience, can you tell me if

1371
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 5: it's normal to mention your ex slash have your partner

1372
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 5: mentioned their ex so casually. I don't want to burden

1373
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 5: him anymore with my insecurities, but it brings me down

1374
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 5: when he tells me things like he wishes he could

1375
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 5: run into her while she's walking the dog they had

1376
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 5: so he could see the dog. I wish he wouldn't

1377
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 5: bring up wanting to run into her, especially because we

1378
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 5: just recently had an argument about it. About two weeks ago.

1379
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 5: He went to a class reunion that I know he

1380
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 5: was sure she would attend. He called me after saying,

1381
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 5: guess who I ran into? That is?

1382
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 6: This man is insane. It unhinged, insane, lunatic. This is insane.

1383
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 6: This is crazy. It's not normal talking about your ex

1384
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 6: like this.

1385
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 3: Guess who I ran into?

1386
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 6: Guess who I ran into?

1387
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 2: The woman you're like the most insecure about on the planet,

1388
00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 2: And she was just as great as ever, probably.

1389
00:59:58,520 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 3: Better than you.

1390
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 5: Like I didn't p to him and my roommates before

1391
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 5: he even went. He even told me he initiated conversation

1392
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,600
Speaker 5: with her. While I'm grateful he told me all of this,

1393
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 5: I do feel uneasy about it because of the frequency

1394
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 5: in which he mentions her. I never want to be

1395
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 5: the type of partner that tells him he can't go

1396
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 5: places or do things. But I want to be able

1397
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 5: to believe that he won't upuse my trust. Girl, I

1398
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 5: need you to run for the hills.

1399
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, this is I don't know who said it,

1400
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 2: but it's like, this is way too much for a situationship.

1401
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 5: Well they're in a relationship now, but like but still.

1402
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 6: It doesn't even sound like it. It's like you're in

1403
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 6: a relationship.

1404
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he's like, it's normal to talk about an

1405
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 2: X in that Like yeah, it's like, I mean, I

1406
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 2: wouldn't like if someone's talking about them perpetually and constantly

1407
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 2: about how they the coolest and the best or whatever.

1408
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:47,479
Speaker 6: That's weird.

1409
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 2: But even talking about them like this where it's like, yeah,

1410
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 2: I'm still in love with her and blah blah blah.

1411
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 5: Regarding the dog nostalgia, he said I was making it

1412
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 5: weird and he just wants to see the dog, not

1413
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 5: his ex. But then why not just say that? Do

1414
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 5: you have to mention your ex as well? I am

1415
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 5: in desperate need of an outside opinion because as much

1416
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,440
Speaker 5: as I love my friends, they're not my therapists, nor

1417
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 5: are any of them in a healthy relationship right now.

1418
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 5: I need to know if this is a normal thing

1419
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 5: in healthy relationships, or if this is something worth addressing, you.

1420
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 6: Should address it, and like, probably stop.

1421
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that's like a massive red.

1422
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 6: He's unhealthily obsessed with his ex. And that's the end

1423
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:27,760
Speaker 6: of this story.