WEBVTT - Negotiate For Your Coins (BA Q&A) 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.200 It's time for the b a q a a to 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:14.520 be a q a, which the be qute with man 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:17.119 to be q a fdad. 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:19.440 Be a q a a. 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:21.400 Hey, Manja, how are you girl? 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:24.240 I'm doing swell, doing well. 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:26.640 Howver you Sunshine, I'm doing good because my curls are 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:27.160 keeping up. 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:28.640 I was like, well, look at my curls. 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:29.600 You know I did that. 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:30.600 They look amazing. 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:32.800 I know. I was really shocked because last time I 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:35.080 did the pipe cleaner girls for the girls with locks, 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:37.680 I did the pipe cleaner curls, but I did them well, 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.040 I didn't do them. Leela, who does my makeup in Jersey, 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:45.040 she did the bigger ones and the curls dropped pretty quickly, 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.519 and this time she did much small, like half the size, 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:49.440 and there's it's still curly. 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:51.279 I said, yeah, how long has it been? 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:53.320 Honestly, it's been like I took them out, like probably 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:54.640 a week ago, and there's still curly. 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:55.360 I'm like, look at me. 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:57.920 I knowledge it because it probably took a lot of 0:00:57.920 --> 0:00:58.320 time too. 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:01.080 Yeah. It did take would take maybe about an hour 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:04.800 for her to like do all the curls. Yeah okay, yeah, 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:06.200 so and then I wore them for a. 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:07.679 Few days and bouncy and fun. 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:10.760 Thank you now very summertime. So we have some today. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.240 We're gonna do money question rules. 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:15.600 Is that so I'm excited? Yeah, let's go. We got 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:18.240 some interesting well yeah, I can't wait for number two, 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:19.840 but number one. All right, let's start with number Yeah. 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:21.320 Well, first of all, quick, if you have questions that 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:24.240 need answers, know that we are not your cousin, not 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:26.680 your mother, not your father, not your friend. And we 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.720 are your friends, but we're not your financial advisor, your doctor, 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:34.839 your attorney, your accountant, CPA, YadA, YadA, YadA, meaning take 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.640 our advice air quotes with the smallest grain of salt. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:41.120 Don't suit us to your granny. Yeah, that's for our 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.319 attorney friends who love when we say that. But if 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:46.119 you want to ask questions, slide into our DMS on ig. 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:50.760 We are Brandnavision Podcast. Email us at Brannabision Podcasts at 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:54.760 gmail dot com or brandabisionpodcast dot com. Go to our 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:58.720 website click contact us. Okay, okay, and Andandy you're up. 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.720 Oh I'm so excited. Well, first, since we're doing the disclaimer, 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:05.080 let's also take a second to shout out our reviewers 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.480 can do that, right, Yeah, because y'all have been giving 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.520 us life. Every week we have a few new reviews, 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:14.680 which matters so much. We have twy four and fifty 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:18.560 three five star almost five star reviews right now, and 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:21.519 it matters so much. We've been around for so long 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:24.239 that might sound incredible, but for people to keep finding 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:26.240 the show, for us to keep showing up and bringing 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:29.840 y'all all this knowledge, all these gems, please review the 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.799 show and share it. Okay, So I'm just going to 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:35.320 pop into chartable and find a couple of new reviews. 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.880 This first one says, get your life together and tune in. 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:41.560 This podcast is not only has not only enhanced my 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:45.120 life and my career in personal finance, but has provided 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:48.040 the space for my girl gang to share knowledge and discussion. 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.400 Thank you Andy and Tiffany for your commitment to serving 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:55.480 women of color in an authentic and vulnerable way. Yeah 0:02:55.880 --> 0:03:00.600 from Vicky And then next reviewer Georgia CA. GEORGIAA says, 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:03.679 phenomenal podcast as always. But the cherry on top was 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:06.760 your recent episode with Amanda Seals. Thank you for this. 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:10.400 It was such an amazing conversation. Oh that's so sweet. 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:12.639 Thank you guys. Please leave us a review. You can 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:14.760 just scroll down on your phone or whatever device you 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:18.639 listen into, leave this advisor review on Apple, iTunes, wherever 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:20.640 you get your shows. Hey, be a fan. We're going 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:25.400 to take a quick break and we'll be right back. Alrighty. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.880 With that out of the way, let's read our first 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:32.600 read our first listener question. All right, this one comes 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:35.640 from someone who wants to be called recent widow. She says, 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:38.000 I'm a recent widow and I'm wondering if I should 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:41.920 cash out my husband's retirement accounts and manage them myself, 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.400 just in case I need cash in the future. I'm 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:48.280 fifty three employed with a six figure salary. I don't 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:50.720 have any other debt other than my home, and when 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.800 I retire at sixty three or sixty eight, I'll get 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:57.280 my same salary for life. Also, please let me know 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:01.320 if there are any groups with Tiffany for widows. Thank 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:02.400 you widow. 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:04.800 Well, first recent widow, I want to say, I am 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:10.360 so sorry for your loss. Yeah, because I mean, obviously 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:14.000 I have no firsthand and I don't know how recent. 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.680 But I will say that one of the best piece 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:23.840 of advice that my certified financial planner gave me, Angulie, 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:29.040 was to not make any major choices or changes within 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:32.160 a year at least of your love one passing away, 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:34.800 unless it's dire, meaning like I have to make this 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.080 choice because I have to save the house, or I 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:38.520 have to make the choice because we have to feed 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:41.440 the kids, you know. But if it's not a decision 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.000 that doesn't have to be made to actually give yourself 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.760 at least six months and that's cutting it, if not 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:51.520 a year or more. And here's why you are not yourself. 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.320 I thought I was myself. I look back, I was 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:59.200 a zombie. I was not myself. And at first, you know, 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.160 when you lose some when so close to you, you 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.680 know that you're not yourself, But then you enter into 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:06.000 this fake yourself space and you're like, no, this is 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:07.640 how I am. Remember, Mandy, I was like, I think 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:10.240 I want to quit Bajanista and you were like you forget? 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:11.760 Yeah, you sure about that? 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:13.480 I was like, no, I'm absolutely certain. I don't love 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:14.680 it anymore. I don't want to do it. I want 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.400 to close my businesses down. I just want to walk 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.880 for a living and read books. And Mandy was like, okay, 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.000 because that's how I truly thought that, That's how I 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:25.919 was feeling, but I didn't realize I was still deep 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:28.680 in the throes of grief because it wasn't as sharp 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:32.760 as it happened two three months ago, you know. And 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:36.279 so when greef Dulln's it's still just as strong, it's 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.440 just not as sharp. So it tricked me into believing 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:41.200 this is the new Tiffany. And so had I made 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:43.279 those choices, which I almost tried to do, just closing 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:46.080 everything down, I would have regretted it because I was 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:49.760 really not myself and you will never be where you 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:51.960 were before. But it took me about a year and 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.520 a half before I came out of the larger fog 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:57.240 of it all, and so I'm thankful. I mean, I 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.360 made a lot of choices. Some of them I'm like, oh, yeah, 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:02.400 maybe I should wait. But I just wanted just to 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.760 caution you that unless you're making a choice because it's 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.200 for your own like financial safety, which it does not 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:10.359 sound like. You know, you're making six figures, you know 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:14.640 that even in retirement, you'll be fine. That I would 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.920 not touch his retirement accounts. Ideally, I would want to 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:22.560 work with a certified financial planner to kind of like 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:26.640 get what's inside of you out to say, you know, like, huh, 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:28.680 you know, what is it that you're wanting, Like what's 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.000 the desired outcome? You don't have to let them manage 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:34.360 your money, certainly, but just to like decide what that 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:35.960 kind of looks like. But even that can wait. 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:37.839 Honestly, it can wait. 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:41.240 You know that my first order business for you, Like, 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:44.000 I don't know if you have a therapist, but I 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:47.080 recommend therapy to everyone, but especially if you just lost someone, 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:51.320 a therapist that specializes in trauma, because to lose someone 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:56.080 is traumatic. So I recommend that, I recommend taking some time. 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.040 I don't know how how much time away you can 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:01.880 get from your job, but I recommend doing that and 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:06.000 just getting through therapy getting clear. I'm just like, like, 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:07.960 what is the second half of your life? Like what 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:10.040 direction do you kind of want to go in? Because 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:12.200 the money is really just a tool to help assist 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:14.800 you in that, it's not the thing itself. And I 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.680 know that if you were like me, I wanted to 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.080 stay busy, so like kind of like, oh, this acount 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.880 of that cant of that feels like I'm in motion, 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:23.680 so I don't have to sit still and let the 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.000 grief kind of seep in. But I don't want you 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:29.000 to touch that money if you don't need to, at 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.960 least for some time, you know, and not without guidance, 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:34.080 you know, so we know that the grief is not 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:38.200 driving all the decisions. I didn't. I didn't join any 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:45.640 widow like groups. I certainly you know when when your 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.720 husband passes away and people find out, widows tend to 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:53.360 find you. And it was just like this beautiful sad 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.160 club to be a part of. And so many people 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:57.920 reached out to me. I mean I created friends as 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:00.000 a result, like women who I just never met before, 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.040 but they would hit me on social media and just say, 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:04.760 my husband passed away two a year ago, if you 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.400 ever want to talk, And I'd be like yes, because 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.760 no one understands but someone else who's been through that. 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:11.440 It's like if you lost a child or lost her 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:14.440 no one even if someone's lost their mom or it's 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.880 not the same. I don't know what it is for 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.640 a woman to lose her child, you know, like that 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:22.320 she needs to talk to a woman that's lost their child. 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:23.760 I don't know what is for a woman to lose 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:27.400 her sibling, thank god, not yet, and so she needs 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:29.600 to talk to someone who, so you need to talk 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:32.720 to other widows. Mandy gave me such an amazing book. 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:34.320 Maybe I don't know if you know that book was 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:36.719 like it was perfect. It was I think if you 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.520 ever read I read it like within a day of 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.160 you giving a that I never told. 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:43.280 You that, but you're never told me. I was so 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.200 worried I did the stupid thing and I was like, 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:46.319 I'm so sorry. 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.360 No, it was perfect because it was a day. I 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:52.199 thought that was a dark thing. No, it was the best, 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:54.880 honestly because one so Mandy gave this book called Black Widow. 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.040 I actually found her online friend. I said her friend 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:57.560 requested and. 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:01.320 Not accepted because obviously I'm crazy, but like, but it 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.280 was so and I should have told you that, Mandy. 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:05.839 It was. It was because it's. 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:07.040 Sorry, I know. 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:10.640 It was this amazing book called Black Widow of a 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:13.520 woman who lost her husband. She's a black woman, and 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.160 it was funny, it was sad, all. 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:16.760 The things I was feeling. 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.120 I was like, yes, yeah, it was like everything I 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.760 was feeling, I could read it in this book and 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.720 I listened to it, which is really helpful. I mean, 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:25.600 if you're a reader, but I'm a reader as well, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.200 but I listened to it and you can hear the 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.280 inflection in her voice. It was. 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:30.560 It was. 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:33.440 It was the first book I read after draw Passing Away, 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.640 and it hit exactly where I needed to hit. And 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:40.200 so in the book though, she mentions, oh, a camp. 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.320 I don't know if it's called Camp Widow or something, 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.880 and I considered that, but she mentions it in the 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:46.760 book and if I remember, let me see if I 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:49.000 can it is it Camp Widdow. But she mentions it 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:54.040 that she went, and I looked into it, and I 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:57.560 considered like going. I never ended up doing it. Yeah, 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.280 I think it's Camp Widow. So campwidow dot Org at 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:05.480 it now and it helps like widows build connections and 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:07.520 it just looked like a really loving, kind place. So 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:09.720 you know, I didn't end up doing that, but I 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:12.120 did end up like just reinforcing the community that I 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.560 already had. So that's what I would share. Don't make 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:17.160 any big money choices unless you have to get a 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:21.120 financial advisor for sure. For sure, for sure, and if 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:23.720 you're interested, Camp Brittles sound like an amazing place. And 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.000 read Black Widow. That was a really good book. 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:29.760 Yeah. I mean, obviously I can't speak to what you're 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:33.240 going through. But just to draw the connection to what 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.560 we were speaking about in our episode earlier this week 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.280 with Rachel Rogers, is about when you say the thing 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.080 out loud, that is how you get the help that 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.480 you need. And maybe like first of all, you saying 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:45.640 it to us, where Tiffany's also obviously giving you what 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.120 you need, which is some guidance, but to find and 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:50.719 for those for the when you said the widows will 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:53.840 find you, I just I started to imagine those luna moths, 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:57.160 beautiful lunamv and just like fluttering yes to find you 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.400 and kind of like landing on your shoulder. But I 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.080 think they can't find you unless you speak out and say, hey, 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.240 I would like to find this community. So I feel like, 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.559 even for you, like with Tiffany's saying on the show, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:09.040 but where can you let other people know who do 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.360 know you, how they can find you? You know, Like 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:12.960 I would have loved if you had told us your 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.960 Instagram handle or your email or something so that we 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.160 can connect you or get or tell people so they 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:22.640 can find you. But yeah, I'm just I'm glad that 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:26.760 you felt safe to come here and share your experience, 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.800 but I'm it sounds like you were sort of similar 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:34.200 to Tiffany in a way where it's like, because of 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:38.920 the choices that you made financially to set yourself up 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:41.760 to be taken care of, you know, you didn't expect 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.880 your spouse or your partner to sort of like be 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.200 that support for you. You're not sending us a message 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.120 of desperation like I have nothing now. You should feel 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:54.160 so proud and you know, so incredible, And I think 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:57.800 this is just a beautiful way, a beautiful story to 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:00.000 share in a beautiful inspiration for so many of us 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:04.480 to create that safety net for ourselves because you do 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:07.000 never know what will happen in this life. 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:09.600 Yeah. Yeah, if you feel comfortable sharing a place where 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.880 people can reach out to you, certain please jump back 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:13.839 right in the inbox and we'd love to do that. 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.520 And if you don't, that's okay too. Like I said, 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:19.760 look into Camp Riddle, get that book, Black Widow. I 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:24.120 read a lot of Ryan Holiday books about stoicism. The 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:28.240 obstacle is the way, just like I just was seeking 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.960 understanding also to one lesson that helped me. This is 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:34.319 external to the financial component. I don't know what your 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:38.160 religious or spiritual beliefs are, but I couldn't get over 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:41.960 what happens like to just go black. I mean, I identify 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.800 as Christian, but it's Mike Tyson has this quote that 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:47.600 says everybody has a plan until they get punched in 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.959 the face, you know. So you're like, oh, I'm Christian 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:56.400 until you lose your husband and you're like, what happened? Heaven? 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.400 What is that even? You know? So I thought myself 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:04.000 spire and what helped me significantly, significantly deal with the 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:07.360 what happens after is I followed a lot of hospice 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:12.120 nurses that talked about when people transitioned, and I watched 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.120 a lot of near death experience videos of people who 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:18.559 transition for minutes, you know, like twenty minutes, ten minutes, 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:21.440 five minutes, and it just helped to give me some solace, 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:24.240 you know that it's not just black. I mean when 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.840 I tell you, I watched them obsessively. So there's a 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.920 woman named nurse Julie on Instagram. She's a hospice nurse. 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.280 So I think hospice nurse Julie and the way she 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.440 talks about their transition and what people share, and it's 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.520 just really beautiful and it gave me comfort but then also, 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:41.360 like I said, the near death experience with people who 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:43.720 actually did pass away for a number of minutes and 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:48.880 sharing their unrelated but strikingly similar experiences of what it 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.839 was like to not be here for some moments. And 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:53.760 so it gave me a lot of peace for me. 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:56.160 And so maybe you know, I don't know your relationship 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:58.439 with your husband or whatever, but if you're looking for 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.199 some sort of like what happens next kind of piece, 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.280 that helped me out a lot, a lot. 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:05.840 Yeah all right, well. 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.560 Well I'm really glad you sent that question until I 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:09.160 learned some stuff about you that I didn't know. 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:10.720 Yeah, thank you for that book. 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:12.240 Man. I know it was a crazy I don't don't know. 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.200 I didn't tell you just because obviously I was just spiraling. 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.240 It's fine. I was fine not. 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:18.240 Knowing, but no, it was. 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:22.040 It was he's trying to be the helpful friend after 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:24.880 someone goes through a tragic you could never comprehend. I 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:25.440 feel you. 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.400 Yes, yes it was. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.320 that was an amazing book. So hey, b a fan, 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.440 We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:41.520 So this is from Nelly from ig Hi Mandy hope 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.640 you well, girl, I'm here too, but that's okay because. 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.800 We will stop. Everyone's always like, hey tell me and 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.120 that girl, I. 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:51.200 Wouldn't have one because you know best that this is 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:55.880 a mandy question. But either way, hey girl, I'm just saying, ha, yeah, question. 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:59.240 I'm looking to interview very soon for a new opportunity 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.400 at my current company, different department. It would be a 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:05.760 promotion and I have most of the required skills plus 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:07.920 finish my masters in twenty twenty one. Go ahead, girl, 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.560 How can I go about getting the absolute max amount 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:16.000 of money? Since they that have access to my salary history? FYI, 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:18.240 the range is up to one hundred and fifty six 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:22.200 K and I'm at one twenty three currently. They require 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:26.200 a salary expectation entry. When I applied, I said one 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.640 fifty just in case they negotiated me down. Let me 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:34.120 know if you have any tips. Loving everything you're doing, thanks, Nelly. 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:35.480 This is a good question. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:37.840 What do I want to start saying? Hot and hair? 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:40.760 I don't know why. 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.360 No, let's do it again. Hot in here, so make 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.680 sure you get all your coins? 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:51.840 Okay, right, we negotiate a and that doesn't work. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:52.480 That's around. 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:58.080 Okay, this is a book delete that anyway. Listen, Nellie. 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.880 First of all, congratulations, because I feel like this is 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.640 a really exciting opportunity and to work at a company 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:07.440 where you can apply to another department, it's awesome. And 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:09.920 I feel like when people think about quitting a role 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.480 for a new opportunity, you sometimes think like you have 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.160 to go outside the company. But I'm a huge fan 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:17.080 of pivoting in place, Like that's what I call it. 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.880 When you find a growth opportunity right where you are 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.760 and your mindset is really important here and this is 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.040 a thing where you know what you make and you're 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:27.440 kind of letting that kind of get to you a 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:31.600 little bit. I would treat this new department like another company. 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:34.040 So anything that you would do if you were interviewing 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:37.040 for an outside company, I would do, you know, I 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:40.880 would go in there strong and establish, you know, your 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.720 credentials and how excited you are for the opportunity. You've 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.520 already mentioned a salary at least it was a sort 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:49.440 of the top of the range. You mentioned one fifty. 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:54.040 I typically would have said, you know, put you know competitive, 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:56.600 or put zero or put one dollar whatever it is 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.400 in the field, so that you don't have to necessarily 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.040 name a number. But I think that you should go 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:06.120 in there definitely expecting to get paid what the value 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.520 of the job is, especially if it is a promotion. 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.000 You have most of the skills, like you said, and 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:15.479 you now have a master's degree. So if you are 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.440 thinking about the salary that you have now holding you back, 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:21.080 this is a whole different job. You know, it's a 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:25.440 step up, probably more responsibility. What may help you feel 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.040 more confident going in and asking for your value is 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:32.159 to find comparable roles at comparable companies, as are the 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.439 two comps. You want to have similar company and a 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.840 similar role, and see what types of salaries they're offering 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:41.719 as well, and then again think of them as an 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:45.720 outside employer who doesn't necessarily know your current salary, and 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:49.560 negotiate from that space. It's not about what you're earning now, 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:53.240 it's about the market value. Excuse me, It's about the 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:57.480 market value of a candidate for this specific role that 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.359 you're applying for. So don't go in there can one 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:03.560 twenty three vibes think one fifty six, Okay, think hi, 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:07.720 And you also know that you're not probably just making 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:09.639 one twenty three. You also have to factor in your 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:13.440 annual bonus on top of that, you know, so don't 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.960 forget that you can still negotiate those types of things 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.280 like your annual bonus amount. If they offer you equity 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:23.280 at your company, you should still feel confident negotiating equity 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.560 when you get to that point, Like you've just applied 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:29.840 now and you put in your salary expectation, which is cool. Now, 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:32.520 the key is everything that's going to happen before the negotiation, 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.840 which is you really want to make them excited to 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:38.520 hire you. You already know the company, but what other 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:41.120 strengths do you bring to the table, Like how well 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:44.560 do you understand the challenges the pain points of the 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:46.800 team that you're joining. Do you have any connections on 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:49.280 that team already that you can build on those relationships. 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.160 You want them to think of you as a no brainer, 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.080 you know, so that by the time you get to 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:57.919 the negotiation or the offer stage, they want you so 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:01.120 bad that when you come back to them and like, hey, 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.760 one forty is cute, but what about one fifty six, 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:07.879 that they're like, Okay, we really want Nelly, you know, 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:12.320 so let's make this happen. That's essential for you at 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:15.159 this point. But before you get there. You got to 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:19.359 get your mindset right around. This is a whole different employer, 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.840 even though it's with the same company, whole different team. 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:24.840 You're not in the same role that you have now, 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:26.680 You're not making one twenty three in this new role. 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:28.679