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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Keyon and this is Angie, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from our sponsors that keep the show running.

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Speaker 3: My friend kept begging to use my house for a party,

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Speaker 3: then left me off the guest list. Oh girl, what

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Speaker 3: I planned this whole thing. A friend wanted to celebrate

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Speaker 3: their child's birthday in my party room because it's a

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Speaker 3: special number they're turning. I asked why she can't use

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Speaker 3: her own home and she said it's because mine is

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Speaker 3: kid friendly. I told her I'd prefer if she had

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Speaker 3: the party elsewhere, like a community center or other public

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Speaker 3: events spaces. By the way, this comes from ballet corg

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Speaker 3: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate. I'm Sophia, I'm Savannah,

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Speaker 3: and we're here to give good advice. Goofy, but we

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Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

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Speaker 3: and Opie says she came back to me a few

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Speaker 3: weeks later saying they were too expensive or far away,

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Speaker 3: and then asked again if she can use my place

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Speaker 3: for the party. By booking our space, she would be

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Speaker 3: saving hundreds of dollars on the venue. I agreed with

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Speaker 3: the caveat that we keep it to a maximum number

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Speaker 3: of people and we keep to the booking time, and

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Speaker 3: she asked to get her own guess from the lobby.

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Speaker 3: It was important to clarify this to her because my

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Speaker 3: partner and I had hosted a huge party for her

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Speaker 3: a year prior, which had way more people invited, and

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Speaker 3: we found ourselves not enjoying ourselves the whole time as

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Speaker 3: we had to monitor the guests and retrieve people from

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Speaker 3: the lobby throughout the event because many guests came later

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Speaker 3: than the stated start time on the invitations. We also

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Speaker 3: didn't enjoy attending the party because we were busy setting up,

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Speaker 3: coordinating the games, monitoring the guests, and cleaning the room

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Speaker 3: after she didn't clean up the best.

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Speaker 4: That's yeah, if it's gonna be hosted at my place, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna set up and everything. I figured that

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Speaker 4: you like, you just want the space. You don't want

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Speaker 4: my help and decorating all. Obviously, if you ask me, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'll probably help you. But you have to have like

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Speaker 4: some sort of like design in place.

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Speaker 3: And then also you're gonna clean up your party. Sorry, Yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: I've had I've got a lot of people a host

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Speaker 3: at my house and they clean up after themselves. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: as they should.

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Speaker 4: That's just like etiquette, like thank you for hosting us,

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Speaker 4: and hopefully we'll be welcome back.

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Speaker 3: Two weeks before her child's birthday party, she tells me

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Speaker 3: she wants to change the party time to an hour

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Speaker 3: later due to her child's change in nap times. She

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Speaker 3: also went over my mac's number of guests because she

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Speaker 3: had already invited people before I had agreed and it

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Speaker 3: would be too awkward to disinvite them as well, and

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Speaker 3: all the grandparents had come too. I told her I

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Speaker 3: will not be canceling the booking and if we can

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Speaker 3: keep to the original time. She eventually told me to

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Speaker 3: cancel the party because I seem too stressed out. Mind

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Speaker 3: you are you? So? Is this like a space that

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Speaker 3: you actually book out? What do you mean canceled the booking? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I don't. I have no idea. I guess like, oh,

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Speaker 3: he might live somewhere.

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Speaker 4: That's like I don't know, what does I have no

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Speaker 4: idea if she has a really pretty backyard or something.

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Speaker 3: Mind you. I was willing to work with her, but

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Speaker 3: she was unwilling to compromise. She also did not offer

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Speaker 3: to compensate for my time and efforts, only offering to

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Speaker 3: pay the cost of the room booking that my strata

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Speaker 3: charges for the room, which was also the case for

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Speaker 3: the previous big party that we hosted for her. I

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Speaker 3: found out through social media that she still had a

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Speaker 3: birthday party for her child, but neither my partner or

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Speaker 3: I were invited.

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Speaker 4: That is so weird, yike, So is this friendship just

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Speaker 4: so she can like use your room?

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Speaker 3: Feels like it. We feel hurt because it seems like

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Speaker 3: she only wanted us there if we could provide the

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Speaker 3: venue and coordinate the event. I also have to mention

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Speaker 3: that we live in a luxury condo with a lot

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Speaker 3: of amenities near the city center. We also feel like

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Speaker 3: she took advantage of our living situation and has been

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Speaker 3: treating her home like a community center for her to

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Speaker 3: impress all her friends with. We don't feel like guests

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Speaker 3: that can enjoy these parts parties because there's so much

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Speaker 3: liability and work to do when the parties are held.

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Speaker 3: In our home. She's also asked me earlier this year

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Speaker 3: if she could use one of my party rooms for

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Speaker 3: her birthday party, which she eventually decided not to do

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Speaker 3: because she didn't want to clean up at the end

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Speaker 3: of the night. That's just like etiquette. That's normal etiquette. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like even when you go to like a space that

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Speaker 4: isn't your friends, like a venue, like you know, for

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Speaker 4: like say like a wedding or something like, you take

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Speaker 4: the stuff with you, you take down everything. Yeah, unless

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Speaker 4: you have like a unless you hire someone to do it.

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Speaker 4: But like for the most part, like any you know,

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Speaker 4: baby shower, something like any chance to like get people

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Speaker 4: together and have this like you know party, like you

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Speaker 4: have to. It's a it's like anything for like load

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Speaker 4: in and load out. Yeah, for like an event like

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Speaker 4: for her concert or something, you load in and then

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Speaker 4: you load out. But you do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I think the solution is just stop saying yes

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Speaker 3: when she asks to use your place. Yeah, and there

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Speaker 3: you go ed it. I really should have said no

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Speaker 3: after the first party, but it's hard for me to

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Speaker 3: say no sometimes, especially to long term friends, which is

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Speaker 3: something I'm trying to work on. I debated on whether

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Speaker 3: I should post my experience here and how I should

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Speaker 3: proceed with this friendship moving forward. But the resounding opinion

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Speaker 3: is pretty clear, and op also says it's made me

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Speaker 3: reevaluate our friendship. I've been very upset about this since

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Speaker 3: finding out on Instagram. We've been friends for almost a decade.

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Speaker 3: Wow went through college together, had vacations, housewarmings, wedding dress shopping,

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Speaker 3: shared the same jobs, been there to visit her the

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Speaker 3: day she gave birth at the hospital. There were a

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Speaker 3: lot of difficult times for my friend that I supported

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Speaker 3: her through leading up to her asking for those big

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Speaker 3: favors of hosting her parties. So I felt like a

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Speaker 3: bad friend if I said no after knowing about these troubles.

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Speaker 3: But in hindsight, I feel very used. I do not

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Speaker 3: feel appreciated as a friend. I will downgrade her to

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Speaker 3: an acquaintance or just a coworker. We've also given her

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Speaker 3: over six hundred dollars for her child in the last

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Speaker 3: year as cash gifts due to these milestone celebrations on

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Speaker 3: top of hosting, so it seems more of a slap

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Speaker 3: in the face that we weren't invited. After the first

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Speaker 3: big party we hosted for her, she and her husband

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Speaker 3: said they were so grateful that they would treat us

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Speaker 3: to dinner as a thank you. It's been over a

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Speaker 3: year and they have never offered to treat us.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, Yeah, these people just seem so ungrateful and

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Speaker 4: so entitled. I actually watched my friends, not Carly because

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Speaker 4: that whatever, but I watched my friend's cat, and then

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Speaker 4: I also watched her roommate's dog, and they asked me.

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Speaker 3: To stay there, and they're like, we'll pay you. We'll

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Speaker 3: pay you. They never paid you. You should ask them,

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Speaker 3: say hey, like, uh, can you benmo me for watching

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Speaker 3: your dog? Yeah? Like, I just that's weird. Never got anything.

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Speaker 3: I hate that. I think there is like oftentimes people

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Speaker 3: do just genuinely forget. But I also think sometimes people

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Speaker 3: that just yeah, no one like the thing is she

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Speaker 3: kept bringing up, like, oh my god, yeah I need to.

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Speaker 4: And then eventually it just never happened. Never said anything,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, come on, this was like months ago.

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Speaker 3: So even when we go out to eat, they make

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Speaker 3: sure the bill is always split. So there were opportunities

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Speaker 3: to treat us, but they didn't take it. I also

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Speaker 3: had already bought a birthday gift for the child, and

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Speaker 3: now I don't know what to do with it because

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Speaker 3: the return period is over. Oh pisas. I was flabbergasted

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Speaker 3: when she asked again to use our home for more

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Speaker 3: parties after all our efforts with the first one, which

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Speaker 3: was six hours of work from setup of decorations, food,

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Speaker 3: games to clean up, whereas the actual party only lasted

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Speaker 3: a bit over two hours for the guests that could

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Speaker 3: come and go as they please. You would think having

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Speaker 3: a friend host one party would be enough that you

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Speaker 3: wouldn't ask for the favor again, or at least I

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Speaker 3: think the polite thing to do the next time would

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Speaker 3: be to offer compensation for the hours of work and

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Speaker 3: stress it takes to host these events. Book there was

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Speaker 3: also smeared cupcake icing on couches at the end of

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Speaker 3: the party because she wasn't watching the kids she had invited. Also,

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Speaker 3: I never offered my place to host she asked me

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Speaker 3: to do it each time, and when she asked me

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Speaker 3: to use my party room for a kid's party, I

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Speaker 3: did explain to her that it was a lot of

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Speaker 3: work last time with the other party and hence why

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Speaker 3: I wanted her to take a more active role this

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Speaker 3: time instead of expecting a lot of labor from us.

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Speaker 3: I did set some boundaries on what I expect from

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Speaker 3: her if she wants to use her space again. The

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Speaker 3: last party, she and her husband did not retrieve their

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Speaker 3: own guests, which took hours of our time since we

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Speaker 3: had to go up and down an elevator and make

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Speaker 3: a bunch of small talk with people we didn't know.

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Speaker 3: I told her this, she said she knows and is grateful.

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Speaker 3: She feigned understanding by saying she also hosted a party

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Speaker 3: for her friend years ago, but it was not at

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Speaker 3: the same level at all, because the party she was

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Speaker 3: talking about had half the number of people, barely any decorations,

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Speaker 3: and minimal food set up. She also asked to take

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Speaker 3: her family over to use my pool. I tell her

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Speaker 3: no every time because that doesn't seem enjoyable for me

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Speaker 3: at all. I'm taking Can I bring my mom over

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Speaker 3: and a child that is not potty trained yet? She's

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Speaker 3: mentioned a couple of times how she doesn't like community

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Speaker 3: set her pools. Then, I don't know, get over it,

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Speaker 3: or get a house that has a pool. Stop freaking

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Speaker 3: using OP for everything. Yeah, she's just using you for

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Speaker 3: what you have. This isn't a friendship. This is not

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Speaker 3: like a what is it a parasite?

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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, I guess, but I was thinking like

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Speaker 4: a like an exchange, like a exchange of goods and services,

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Speaker 4: not even an exchange.

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Speaker 3: She'd just take it's just one way, one way. But

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Speaker 3: I would also agree, maybe it's time to bump this

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Speaker 3: friend down to acquaintance and she can figure out how

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Speaker 3: to throw parties after that. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you don't owe this girl anything, and it

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Speaker 4: seems like she doesn't even keep her like promises, so like, really,

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Speaker 4: what is she doing for you?

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Speaker 3: We've got something from OPI. My partner and I are

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Speaker 3: child free, and she is a child that has an

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Speaker 3: early bedtime. Not sure if she was hinting that we

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Speaker 3: do the cleanup on her own after she leaves. Jazz

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Speaker 3: Like Mamelo says, did I read that right? You have

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Speaker 3: a lobby in your home, Opie says, it's a condo

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Speaker 3: that we have to retrieve guests from the lobby and

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Speaker 3: take them to the party room via an elevator. Okay, sure,

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Speaker 3: and there is an update three days later. Any other thoughts,

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Speaker 3: I mean, just you gotta what is it? Pluck the

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Speaker 3: like apple from this tree?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Like uh, pluck like the bad fruit from Purge. No,

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Speaker 3: there's a saying. Yeah, it's like when prune you like,

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Speaker 3: cut the bad fruit, cut out the bad Yeah, cut

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Speaker 3: the bad fruit out of your life.

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Speaker 4: And it seems like this girl is one of them

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Speaker 4: because she's just using you obviously, Like she didn't even

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Speaker 4: invite you.

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Speaker 3: To light a party. The only reason you were invited

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Speaker 3: last year was because it was literally at your house.

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Speaker 3: Couldn't keep you out. Oh, we've got an update three

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Speaker 3: days later, three days after making this post, I messaged

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Speaker 3: this friend to tell her how I felt hurt and

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Speaker 3: used when I saw that she's still at a party

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Speaker 3: and did not invite me. I was expecting her to

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Speaker 3: acknowledge my feelings and apologize, but she replied to say

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Speaker 3: she was a little offended to receive my message because

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Speaker 3: she was the one who had to cancel our party

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Speaker 3: at my place so last minute, and it was awkward

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Speaker 3: to tell everyone the party couldn't be on the same

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Speaker 3: date anymore because she couldn't book her own party room

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Speaker 3: on the same date. Yes, she had her own party

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Speaker 3: room that she can reserve in her own condo this

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Speaker 3: whole time.

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Speaker 4: What that's girl? Come on then, why should I know?

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Speaker 4: She just didn't. This is what she wanted. She didn't

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Speaker 4: want to deal with the mess, yes, and plan all

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Speaker 4: of it and do all this stuff. She wanted someone

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Speaker 4: else to take care of all the nitty gritty so

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Speaker 4: then she can have a fun, nice party.

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Speaker 3: Blah blah blah. She doesn't want to clean up after

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Speaker 3: herself or set up or do anything or pay or pay. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: she still wanted mine because it's more kid friendly. She

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Speaker 3: complained that she had to book on a different day instead.

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Speaker 3: She shared she didn't invite my partner and I because

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Speaker 3: she assumed I was working on the new date of

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Speaker 3: the party. I told her I had the day off.

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Speaker 3: I was living at this point, So I pointed out

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Speaker 3: how she's been acting entitled since I moved into my

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Speaker 3: current place over a year ago, how she tries to

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Speaker 3: self invite her and her family over to my place

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Speaker 3: multiple times to use my condo's amenities, How I had

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Speaker 3: already hosted her big party last year, and several other

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Speaker 3: things I took initiative on when her and other friends

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Speaker 3: did not step up. I did this all without asking

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Speaker 3: for anything in return, just to be a good friend

261
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Speaker 3: when she was going through personal hardship at the time.

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Speaker 3: I told her how inconsiderate she has been to be

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Speaker 3: asking for all these things from me, on top of

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Speaker 3: trying to get me to host her birthday and her

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Speaker 3: child's birthday party. In contrast, I've never asked of anything

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Speaker 3: similar for her to do for me myself, and neither

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00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,040
Speaker 3: has she offered. I told her she should feel ashamed

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Speaker 3: to be using her friend like this and to put

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Speaker 3: herself in my shoes. For once, I clarify that it

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Speaker 3: was her fault that I had to cancel my party

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Speaker 3: room booking because she didn't want to wake her child

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Speaker 3: up from their nap for one day in the year,

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Speaker 3: and that she did not consider the time of the

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Speaker 3: several people she had invited in making this decision. I

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Speaker 3: told her I was surprised that there was no accountability

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Speaker 3: or apology from her end. She sent me a short

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Speaker 3: message telling me she was sorry and didn't realize how

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Speaker 3: much trouble she had caused. She then asked, if I

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Speaker 3: can move past this, that's crazy to be like, I'm

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Speaker 3: so sorry, Can you move past this right now? And

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Speaker 3: can I also use her room next week? That was

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Speaker 3: all she said. Out of self respect, I told her

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be friends anymore and she left me.

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Speaker 4: Read yeah, I think that you made the right decision, OP,

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Speaker 4: because this girl sounds like a freaking nightmare and she

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00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 4: sounds like she's just using you to like for her benefit,

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Speaker 4: and you gain nothing Like not that, like every.

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Speaker 3: Friendship has to like like what am I getting from this?

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00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,040
Speaker 3: But like it's negatively affecting you to.

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Speaker 4: The way, like how she is trying to just use

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Speaker 4: your stuff without even paying you, and then also expecting

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Speaker 4: you to clean up and do all this stuff. It's like,

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Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not your cleaning service.

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Speaker 3: No, no, you cannot use my party room. And OP

295
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,640
Speaker 3: finishes off. It was not a business I never offered.

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Speaker 3: She kept asking me to book the room at cost.

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Speaker 3: I was not profiting. The money went to the strata

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Speaker 3: I live in. I literally pocket nothing, if anything. We

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00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 3: lose money because she doesn't manage time well and my

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00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,960
Speaker 3: partner ended up paying over fifty dollars on helium blofe

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00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,280
Speaker 3: wounds at the local party store the last party we

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00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 3: hosted for because she wanted a big decorative display for photos.

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Speaker 3: She'd pay for the costs of the party, food, cutlery,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. But I was expected to allow her a

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Speaker 3: space in my home for her and her family to come,

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00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,000
Speaker 3: most of them i've never met or hardly know. My

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00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 3: partner and I had to be present from set up

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Speaker 3: to clean up and everything in between to coordinate the

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Speaker 3: party because we actually live in the condo and take

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Speaker 3: liability if anything goes wrong because we don't want to

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Speaker 3: risk a fine for strata by law infractions or pay

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00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,400
Speaker 3: for damages that guests have caused. I literally did everything

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Speaker 3: I mentioned because she kept putting me in an awkward position

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Speaker 3: to host her I initially did them in the past

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Speaker 3: because I wanted to help her and felt bad to

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Speaker 3: say no because she was confiding with me about her

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Speaker 3: personal hardships. But lately it's been very draining for her

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Speaker 3: to keep expecting me to host her parties. It's hard

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Speaker 3: to not feel used and grow resentment when I see

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Speaker 3: a pattern, and I have to hold firmer boundaries and

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Speaker 3: voice how I feel next time. However, it was a

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Speaker 3: touchy topic if I had brought up how inconvenient the

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Speaker 3: first party was because I didn't want to make her

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Speaker 3: big day about me, if that makes sense. I don't

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00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 3: want to give too much detail on what it was

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00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 3: because it's a sensitive topic and in case she her

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00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 3: friends ever find this post, I would like to respect

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00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,640
Speaker 3: her privacy on the matter. For example, let's say she

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Speaker 3: asked me to host a celebration of life for her

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Speaker 3: dog at my place, and she had told me for

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Speaker 3: several months how hard it was for her to lose him.

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Speaker 3: I've seen her cry over this. She talks about this

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00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 3: often when we hang out. Then I would feel like

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00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 3: a terrible person to agree to host it, not realizing

335
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 3: how much work I was getting myself into, then complain

336
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,600
Speaker 3: to her afterwards about how inconvenient it was for me.

337
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 3: I didn't want her to attach that special event to

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00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,640
Speaker 3: me being upset or feeling taken advantage. And that is

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00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,800
Speaker 3: the end of that story. And I hope that you

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00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 3: take advantage of this occasion and stop being friends with her. Yeah,

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00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 3: she's not.

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Speaker 4: It's just really not worth it. This girl just takes

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00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 4: and takes and takes takes and then gets mad when.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't take it anymore. Yeah, and it's like we're God,

345
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 3: a friendship is that? It's not a friendship? Bad one transactional? Yeah,

346
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,159
Speaker 3: the word you were looking for. Yes, it was transactional

347
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,040
Speaker 3: thank you. I finally got there. Yeah, and that's the

348
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,440
Speaker 3: end of the story. We're going to go on to

349
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 3: the next one. My friend kept trying to embarrass me,

350
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,919
Speaker 3: so I tricked her into getting the wrong tattoo. Joke's

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00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 3: on you.

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00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,520
Speaker 4: It's been about two years since this happened, but I

353
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 4: just got confirmation from a friend who attended her tattoo

354
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 4: appointment that it was because of what I said. I

355
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 4: twenty five female was introduced to Peggy fake name twenty

356
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 4: five female through a mutual friend. She had recently moved

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00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 4: into a friend's neighboring apartment unit and was quickly introduced

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00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 4: to her friend group almost immediately. I could tell we

359
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,879
Speaker 4: weren't going to get along based off of some backhanded

360
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,040
Speaker 4: compliments that were given, but I decided that it was

361
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 4: too quick to judge her fairly and invited her to

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00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 4: a game night that a friend and I were hosting.

363
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from joking sometime. I'm five

364
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

365
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Sophia,

366
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 4: and we're here to give some good advice.

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00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 3: Goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

368
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 4: We don't tell you what we would do in the situation,

369
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 4: but you should tell us what you would do down

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00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 4: in the comments, as Opie says. Game one, Sardines, During

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00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:20,880
Speaker 4: a wasted game of sardines in the dark, Peggy faked

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00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,680
Speaker 4: a fall and pushed my head into a shelf. How

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00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,240
Speaker 4: do I know she faked it because she literally told

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00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 4: me in front of everyone and laughed about it, saying

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00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 4: I found him first, That's why I pushed you. Game two,

376
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 4: King's Cup, Peggy called me out during the never have

377
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 4: I ever portioned for having gone through a divorce. Talking

378
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 4: about it normally wouldn't have bothered me since everyone who

379
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,960
Speaker 4: was there already knew about it and were really supportive

380
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 4: during that time, Betty was the fact that she was

381
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 4: trying to single me out and shame me for it.

382
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 4: Throughout the rest of the night, this kind of behavior continued,

383
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 4: and by the end I was thoroughly convinced she had

384
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 4: some sort of vendetta against me. Finding out what, or

385
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 4: in my case, who it was, took almost no time

386
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 4: at all. One of our friends, who will call Mark,

387
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 4: was in attendance that first night. Mark twenty eight. Mail

388
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:14,360
Speaker 4: is a tall, kind, funny, and generally attractive guy. Essentially,

389
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 4: he's cat knit.

390
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 3: For her type. At this time, we were pretty.

391
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,399
Speaker 4: Close friends, and Peggy did not like that. For the

392
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,919
Speaker 4: next six months, anytime he was around, I had to

393
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 4: deal with the most ridiculous, awkward, and petty attempts of

394
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 4: her trying to single me out or embarrass me. Now

395
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 4: here's where the tattoo comes into play. I had been

396
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 4: planning on getting a dragon tattoo for over a year.

397
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 4: I'm fully aware that dragons are a common in trending tattoo,

398
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 4: but I wanted it anyways because it was special to

399
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 4: me and my mom. I had even worked with my

400
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,200
Speaker 4: tattoo artist on incorporating her favorite flowers into the piece

401
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 4: and figuring out what kind of style, slash other details

402
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 4: I wanted. About a month before my appointment, Peggy heard

403
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 4: a friend and I talking about the tattoo and started

404
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 4: asking questions.

405
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 3: I swear I could see the moment the light bulb

406
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 3: went off in her head because she grew the biggest,

407
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 3: nastiest grin I had ever seen. My lightbulb moment happened

408
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,879
Speaker 3: shortly after when she asked where and what kind of

409
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 3: dragon tattoo I wanted to get. I lied. I told

410
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 3: her about how much I loved the movie Spirited Away,

411
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 3: because I do. It's a banger. It was a great movie.

412
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 3: I was just talking about that last night. Truly is

413
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 3: a good movie, so at once love did I watch

414
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 3: it again? I have a whole uh interesting or I

415
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,880
Speaker 3: was reading a whole interesting post that my boyfriend sent

416
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 3: me about Spirited Away and how the train represents like

417
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 3: different parts of the spirit world in Buddhism. It was

418
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 3: so interesting. Check it out if you can find it.

419
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,399
Speaker 3: I can't give you any more information, but try and

420
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 3: find it.

421
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 4: And went on a tangent about how I grew up

422
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 4: on that movie, how my dad showed it to me,

423
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 4: and that it'd be cool if me or if he

424
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 4: Haku was wrapping around my arm or something. If you

425
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 4: haven't seen the movie, and one of the main characters

426
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 4: is a boy named Haku who turns into a dragon.

427
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 3: And well, well, well look who's seen the movie on

428
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,239
Speaker 3: the big screen? Ooh, truly one and the only time

429
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 3: I watched it was in a movie theater hmm, which

430
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 3: is truly the best way to see it. And it

431
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,919
Speaker 3: was so fun. I knew you'd like it, and you

432
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 3: also timed it perfectly on the like where we stopped

433
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 3: and then like got on it was that was kind

434
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 3: of oh yeah, yeah.

435
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 4: Peggy had never seen this movie before, so I encouraged

436
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 4: her to check it out and ended the conversation there. Now,

437
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 4: considering she had never seen it before, I didn't think

438
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,879
Speaker 4: she'd actually do it, but read it. She did it,

439
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 4: and it wasn't just a cute or a tiny cute

440
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 4: see little thing either. She committed to my exact description,

441
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 4: the thing is freaking huge. When she showed it to

442
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 4: me two weeks later, I was in shock, and she

443
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 4: probably thought I was upset for taking something from me.

444
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 4: But I went home that night and switched between feeling

445
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 4: awful for lying to her and laughing for how utterly

446
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 4: unbelievable she was for doing it.

447
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 3: Two years later.

448
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 4: And I'm still doing that. I had confessed to a

449
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 4: friend recently about my lie, and that's when she told me.

450
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 4: She went to the tattoo appointment with Peggy that day,

451
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,679
Speaker 4: and word for word, Peggy had said, she's going to

452
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 4: be so upset. This is like the exact tattoo she wanted. Girl,

453
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 4: Why are we Why is your friend friends with Peggy. Yeah,

454
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 4: well maybe it might be the girl like who like,

455
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 4: oh wait now yeah, yeah, wait is the girl coming

456
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 4: to op and saying yeah, Peggy.

457
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: I went with Peggy to her tattoo appointment, and she

458
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 3: was like, I'm gonna get this this, you know, out

459
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 3: of spite, Like why are you friends with the girl?

460
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: That is crazy?

461
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 4: You know, like, what's going on to tattoo something spiteful

462
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:41,119
Speaker 4: on your own body?

463
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 3: So stupid? I mean yeah, someone's like, oh, why do

464
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 3: you have that tattoo? And you're like, spite, We're gonna

465
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 3: hate this one girl and she wanted it. Okay. There's

466
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 3: an edit for frequently asked questions regarding the girl who

467
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 3: went to the appointment with Peggy. We didn't become friends

468
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 3: until after all this happened. At the time, we were

469
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 3: only acquaintances, and she ended up dropping her as a

470
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 3: friend for only for her own personal reasons after we

471
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 3: discovered later in our friendship our mutual distaste for Peggy,

472
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 3: and this also wasn't the crux of our friendship. Neither

473
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 3: her or I dated Mark.

474
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 4: I had turned him down early in our friendship before

475
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 4: she came into the picture. Don't get me wrong, Mark

476
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 4: is a catch, but he deserves someone who's crazy about

477
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 4: him and that just wasn't me. Wow, He's like, yeah,

478
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 4: I freaking turned him down. I turned down that hottie. Yeahunk, hunk, man,

479
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 4: it's not for me.

480
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 3: We sorted our friendship out prior to this whole mess,

481
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 3: and hopefully he can find a healthy middle ground of

482
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 3: crazy y lol. He was pretty oblivious to the whole thing,

483
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 3: and I didn't need him to sort it out for me,

484
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 3: so he didn't know until way after. Didn't know how

485
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 3: to edit a post until now. But here you go.

486
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 4: Faces blocked out for obvious reasons. But I don't follow

487
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 4: her socials, so the guys will have to settle for

488
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 4: her crop. I'll keep you guys posted if I have

489
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 4: any updates. For now, this is just a confession into

490
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 4: the voil update.

491
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,199
Speaker 3: Yes, give me.

492
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 4: I want to know if Peggy got her you know,

493
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 4: come up and yeah, I wonder if she like got

494
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 4: whiff of like.

495
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Someone was like, oh you know, I heard

496
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 3: Op doesn't have the tattoo or never wanted that tattoo. Yeah. Update.

497
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: I finally showed this post to the friend who went

498
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 3: with her to the appointment, and she was kind enough

499
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 3: to supply a picture of the tattoo in progress. I

500
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 3: will say, though it is kind of sick, it is

501
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 3: kind of cool. It's huge though, I mean huge, and

502
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 3: she got it out of spite. But if she had

503
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 3: all likes, spirited away pretty sick tattoo. Yeah. The crazy

504
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 3: thing is she did this to her too, with a

505
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 3: tattoo commemorating her favorite music artist. Oh so she did

506
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 3: it to the other girl as well.

507
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 4: Like like whatever favorite band tattoo?

508
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: Ny oh's so weird. She is insecure, this poor girl. Yeah,

509
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 3: that is a level of insecurity I have not seen,

510
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 3: not a just stay steer clear of Peggy.

511
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, this girl seems like an idiot, yeah, and who

512
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 4: like she doesn't have her own identity, so she tries

513
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 4: to steal what other people have because she sees like

514
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 4: how much those people are respected and liked. At least

515
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 4: you gave her a cool tattoo idea though, it's true

516
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 4: from her, I initially wanted the tattoo because he's literally

517
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 4: my favorite artist, and so I sent my artist, the

518
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 4: one you met, my reference photo, and she said she

519
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 4: wanted to come because she was thinking about getting one too.

520
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 4: So we went there and he started doing my stencil

521
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 4: and stuff, and when she saw she said, oh my gosh,

522
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 4: that's so cute. It would be so cool if we

523
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 4: got matching tattoos. I, being excited and at this point

524
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 4: having no issues with her whatsoever, was like, yeah, girl,

525
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 4: it's your body. So I was just like, okay, and

526
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 4: let it happen. I guess it's a memento for her.

527
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 4: She got the exact same thing and the exact same

528
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 4: placement too.

529
00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 3: Wow, this girl's weird, so weird. She doesn't ever identity

530
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 3: and that's actually very sad. Yeah, she just latches on

531
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 3: to whoever's around her. Yeah, she's just grasped.

532
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 4: Two of the readers who are asking me to show

533
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 4: this to her to get her reaction. I don't live

534
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,199
Speaker 4: there anymore, so I can't I can say. However, one

535
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 4: of our friends found this post and reached out to

536
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 4: me on Reddit, trying to get me to say my name.

537
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 3: I didn't. Since then, Peggy has changed her PfP. Helloel oh.

538
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 3: I wonder if the profile was that picture or something.

539
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 3: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna go

540
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 3: on to the next one. I asked my friend to

541
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 3: be friends with benefits and it didn't go well. Well,

542
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 3: it's a pretty tricky conversation to have. I twenty one male,

543
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 3: met this girl twenty one female, two years ago as

544
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 3: my lab partner for one of my classes. We became friends,

545
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 3: eating dinner together after class and studying together. We've continued

546
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 3: to take the same classes, but I don't see her

547
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 3: as often one on one because we joined an informal

548
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 3: study group with other people from our class. By the way,

549
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: this comes from Away Flashy Common and if you want

550
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 3: to spend your own stories, go to their slash Okay

551
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 3: storytime severed it. I'm Sophia and I'm Savannah, and we're

552
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: here to give good advice. Goofully, But we don't have

553
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 3: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

554
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 3: let us know what you would do in the comments,

555
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 3: and Opie says recently she's been more open than usual,

556
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 3: getting closer to me when we're working on a problem together,

557
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,360
Speaker 3: and being more chatty and flirty. She and I are

558
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: both single and have been for a while. I thought

559
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 3: that she was interested in me, and I decided to

560
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 3: take a shot in the dark. I pulled her aside

561
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 3: after a study session last week, and once everyone else

562
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 3: had left. I brought up how we're both single and

563
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 3: asked if she wanted to be friends with benefits. She

564
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 3: asked what I meant, and I said that we could

565
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,439
Speaker 3: oak up sometimes and otherwise keep things the same and

566
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 3: still be friends. She said that she really isn't interested

567
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 3: in that and that she doesn't see me that way.

568
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 3: I just said, oh, okay, see tomar then and left.

569
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 3: I'm hurt that I got rejected, but at the same time,

570
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 3: I was still glad that I had been brave enough

571
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: to go through with it. I knew it was gonna

572
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 3: be allur with her for a few days, but it's

573
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 3: been a lot worse than that. At the study session,

574
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 3: she sits at the other side of the table from

575
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 3: where she used to. She only works with other people

576
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 3: in the group and doesn't even glance at me except

577
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 3: if I directly ask her a question. Yesterday, I try

578
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 3: to walk alongside her as she left the study session

579
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 3: and said, hey, I haven't seen you in a while.

580
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 3: How's it going. She said that she didn't want to

581
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 3: talk and that she feels weird about me. I left

582
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 3: her alone after that, but I'm crushed. I understand why

583
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 3: she's mad at me, and I know it's all my fault.

584
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 3: I was incredibly stupid, and I don't know if I

585
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,679
Speaker 3: can undo what I did. I thought if she said no,

586
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 3: she would just tease me a little and leave it

587
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 3: at that. But I understand that what I said really

588
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 3: hurt her.

589
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 1: No.

590
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 4: See, the thing is you were hoping you would like

591
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 4: still get it out of her. Yet that's not what

592
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 4: you Weren't crushed because like you know, oh, now she's

593
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,719
Speaker 4: not my friend. No, you're crushed because you didn't get

594
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 4: what you want. Yeah, yeah, I dude, So don't act

595
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 4: like you're disguising in around this.

596
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna call you out as she should as well.

597
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 3: I'm glad she did, and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable

598
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 3: about one of my guy friends. Like, there's two scenarios here. One,

599
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 3: she didn't have any feelings for you and was just

600
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 3: being friendly and thought that you were her close friend

601
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 3: of two years and then you asked her if she

602
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 3: wanted to keep being your friend but also sleep with you.

603
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 3: Or the other scenario is that she did have feelings

604
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: for you and then you asked her if she could

605
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: keep being your friend but also sleep with you, which

606
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,959
Speaker 3: is also terrible. Is there any way I can get

607
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 3: her to be friends with me again. Should I apologize?

608
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 3: And if so, how should I word it? I really

609
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 3: don't want to lose her as a friend. Well you

610
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 3: weren't thinking about that before? Yeah, you didn't care before.

611
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 3: Apologize yes, and say I'm sorry. That was really stupid

612
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 3: of me, and I really wasn't thinking update. So I

613
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 3: took the advice in the original post and didn't say

614
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 3: anything further to her. Last night, she sent me a

615
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 3: text telling me she doesn't think she can be friends

616
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 3: with me anymore. She said that what I did made

617
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 3: her very uncomfortable and that she's not attracted to me

618
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 3: and doesn't know what made me ask her that. She

619
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 3: told me to leave her alone and did not talk

620
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 3: to her at the study sessions. I didn't reply to that,

621
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 3: and I'm not going to today's study session. I feel

622
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 3: ashamed and embarrassed at what I did, but I'm also

623
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 3: very hurt that this happened. Shut up, shut up. You

624
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 3: literally did it to yourself. You're like, oh, I feel

625
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 3: really confident. I think this girl likes me. Let me

626
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 3: ruin it. I'm upset that she's throwing away our friendship

627
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 3: over this, Even though I know I shouldn't have fastered that.

628
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 3: I also think she's been telling other people what happened.

629
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 3: In my first class this morning, this random girl who

630
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 3: said steer me, said, did you really ask your friend

631
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 3: to houck up with you? I asked, where's she hear that?

632
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 3: And she just told me to stay away from friend.

633
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 3: I'm afraid of how many other people she might have told,

634
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 3: which is partly why I don't want to go to

635
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,959
Speaker 3: the study session today in case she's told them. I

636
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 3: also got a text later from an unrecognized number saying

637
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 3: You're a creep. I blocked that number, but I'm feeling

638
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 3: very uneasy. This situation has been stressful for both of us.

639
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 4: Boy, but yourself, in this situation, you could have just

640
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 4: not been weird.

641
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 3: It could have been a normal human being. It's like

642
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 3: I acted weird another consequences. So I don't know why

643
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 3: she's making it worse by telling people about it. We

644
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 3: both suffered enough already and would be better off if

645
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 3: we just moved on, or would you be better off? Yeah?

646
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 4: She I feel like she has already moved on. She

647
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 4: doesn't even want to be friends with you anymore. You

648
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 4: ruin that, and then you're like, I can't believe she

649
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 4: threw away the friendship. This isn't a friendship anymore. It's

650
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 4: a weird thing that now I have in the back

651
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 4: of my mind every time I see you.

652
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: So you know, I'm still devastated at losing her as

653
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 3: a friend and at being rejected. So I just wanted

654
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 3: to lick my wounds and slowly get over it. Well, op,

655
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 3: got we deserved and you did it to yourself, and

656
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: I hope that you learned from this experience and not

657
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 3: just be a weirdoh and ask that of someone who

658
00:31:54,280 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 3: you consider a friend. Yeah, it's just very icky. I

659
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 3: really don't like it.

660
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 4: You did it to yourself, and I don't feel bad

661
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 4: for you, cause you should have also had the thought

662
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 4: of being like, hmmm, it's probably if I want to

663
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 4: keep this friendship. This could make it really awkward if

664
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 4: she said no. You went into it with the intent that, oh, yeah,

665
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 4: she likes me and I like her, so we're gonna

666
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 4: like hook up.

667
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 3: And obviously you don't know I will say friends with

668
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 3: I mean, I've never been in a friends with benefits situation,

669
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 3: but from my you know, uh, from what I've heard,

670
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 3: usually it starts with two people who are into each

671
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 3: other just kind of hooking up and then it keeps happening.

672
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: You don't really like ask, you know, it's not like

673
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 3: a cold ask kind of thing when you haven't even

674
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: hooked up yet.

675
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 4: There's a lot of like mysterious factors involved with it,

676
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 4: Like nothing has ever like communicated. It's literally just like

677
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 4: it's hooked up without.

678
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: The communication of like, what are we doing?

679
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 4: What are we We're not labeling it, We're not doing

680
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 4: you know, like and it's crazy because that also it's

681
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 4: kind of like being in an open relationship because they

682
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 4: it's just friends with benefits. You're not you know, you're

683
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 4: not tied to this person, You're not labeled. You can

684
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 4: literally go be with anyone.

685
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 3: It's a situationship. Yep. To be clear, I accept that

686
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 3: I've lost her as a friend and that this was

687
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 3: my fault for being so stupid, But I feel that

688
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 3: she's gone too far by airing our dirty laundry when

689
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 3: this should really be kept as a private matter between us. Dude,

690
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 3: shut up girls talk to their girlfriends, especially warning them

691
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 3: about weird creeps like you. So I'm also worried that

692
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 3: I won't have a chance with other girls that are

693
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 3: college if they hear about this, probably not. Is there

694
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 3: anything I should do about the story spreading? And if so,

695
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 3: what do I do? Should I say anything to her?

696
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 3: There's a lot of things happening at once, and I'm

697
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 3: confused as to what I should do. You don't say, hey,

698
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 3: keep this to yourself. You apologize. That is the one

699
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 3: and only thing that you should do. You either respond

700
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 3: to that message or I don't know. I wouldn't go

701
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 3: up to in person, but maybe responding to the message

702
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 3: and saying, yeah, I totally understand, I'm so sorry that

703
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 3: I asked that. I get that that made you uncomfortable.

704
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 3: And you know what she's gonna do. She's gonna tell

705
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:20,399
Speaker 3: her friends that you apologized. Yes, yes, so the only thing.

706
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 3: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna go

707
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 3: on to the next one. Hey, keon here, we're going

708
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,320
Speaker 3: to get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

709
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:28,760
Speaker 3: of ads from our sponsors.

710
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 4: My friend demanded luxury wedding cakes for free. I refused,

711
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 4: and everything fell apart.

712
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 3: I do work for free, I work for money.

713
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 4: To preface, this wedding wasn't going to happen until the

714
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 4: bid clears up. Those involved are Me twenty two female,

715
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 4: the bride slash friend, Cassie twenty four female, and her

716
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 4: fiance Adam twenty five mail. By the way, this comes

717
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 4: from Throwaway That Cake, and if you want to submit

718
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 4: your stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

719
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 1: I'm Savannah, I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and we are here

720
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 1: to give.

721
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 4: Some good advice goofully, But obviously we don't have all

722
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 4: the answers. If we did, and then no one would

723
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 4: have to write anything, and then we'd have nothing to

724
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 4: do here. But thank god, people are in trouble and

725
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 4: we're here to help.

726
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 3: So we're gonna tell you what we would do this situation.

727
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,280
Speaker 3: But tell us what you would do in these comments.

728
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 4: I as Opie says Cassie has always loved my cakes

729
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 4: and asked me to make eight for her wedding late

730
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 4: last year. We agreed they'd be one tear cakes to

731
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 4: be used as table centerpieces.

732
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 3: I loved the idea. Wow, a cake for each table.

733
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, my gosh, is that kind of Do you think

734
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 2: a small cakes like what my mom made?

735
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 4: Well, it's one tier cakes. They asked her to make

736
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 4: eight for her wedding, so I.

737
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 3: Don't know the diameter.

738
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 4: I don't know, but it just says one tier, so

739
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 4: like just one I'm guessing, just like in what an

740
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 4: eight inch cake usually?

741
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 3: I think is like, I mean, how many people are

742
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 3: at these tables? How many? How everyone guess their own cake?

743
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,919
Speaker 4: That would be so dangerous for me, especially when I'm

744
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 4: like three drinks in.

745
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 2: I think we may get more specifics.

746
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 4: We agreed that they'd be decorated a particular way that

747
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 4: wasn't too elaborate. I was happy with the arrangement and

748
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 4: super excited by the prospect. Early January, she decided she

749
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 4: wanted three tier cakes instead, and wanted them decorated much

750
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 4: more intricately. The intricacy wanted is nowhere near my ability.

751
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,399
Speaker 4: I don't really have the free time to learn how

752
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 4: to do it either. I have a lot on my

753
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 4: plate in my day to day life, and I knew

754
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 4: even doing the one tiercakes would be a little tricky

755
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 4: but absolutely manageable. I politely said I couldn't do that

756
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 4: and tried to offer a compromise. I offered to find

757
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 4: a way to do three tier cakes, but more simplistic

758
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 4: than she'd have liked. I also offered to get her

759
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,840
Speaker 4: in contact with a skilled friend of mine who I

760
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 4: knew could do what she wanted. She'd have to pay,

761
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 4: but the ice would have been extremely good and they'd

762
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 4: be beautiful cakes worth every penny. She got very angry

763
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 4: at this compromise effort. She called me selfish and told

764
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 4: me I was sabotaging her big day. Oh come on,

765
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 4: then demanded I do it for her, while getting a

766
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 4: few of her friends to send me rude and disheartening messages.

767
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 4: This was heartbreaking for me, but I told her I

768
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 4: could no longer do the cakes, and she got angrier.

769
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,320
Speaker 4: We haven't talked since that until yesterday. I received a

770
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 4: message yesterday acting like nothing happened, asking me to do

771
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 4: the cakes again because I owed her.

772
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 2: Owed her own her. What what did you do? Did

773
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 2: she make you a individual cakes for your wedding?

774
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: Yeah?

775
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: In my head, I originally wanted you to do something,

776
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: and now that you can't do that, you still owe

777
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: me something because in my head you had something to

778
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: do for me.

779
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? That's what it makes sense.

780
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 4: She said, I'd be a useless friend if I didn't. Okay,

781
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 4: this girl needs to shut up up? Uh, I decline,

782
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 4: and she chewed me out again, saying things that were

783
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 4: unnecessary and I'd rather not repeat. I'd had enough. This

784
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 4: had already been stressful for me, and I hated being

785
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,959
Speaker 4: dragged into it. I messaged Adam, sending him some screenshots,

786
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 4: asking if he'd please make her stop lashing out. She

787
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 4: was hurting, but I didn't deserve the things said. I

788
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 4: didn't get a reply until today, where he apologized profusely.

789
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 4: He told me she'd done this to another friend before me,

790
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 4: and this was the straw that broke the camel's back

791
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 4: for him, and he was going to call off the

792
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 4: wedding until they'd been to counseling together. I thanked him

793
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 4: for being understanding, but a few hours later, Cassie and

794
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 4: her friends started pestering and threatening me. It's been horrible.

795
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 4: My boyfriend is urging me to cut out Cassie, but

796
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 4: I can't help feeling like an a hole. If I

797
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,280
Speaker 4: made time to learn, this whole situation wouldn't be happening.

798
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 4: So does that make me the a hole? Am I

799
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 4: being selfish? He's reassured me that I'm not, but I

800
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 4: could do with an outside perspective, So yeah, I'm gonna

801
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 4: say right now, you're not the ahole. And also the

802
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 4: verdict tear is also not the a hole. So if

803
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 4: I had time to do this, then I would do it.

804
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 4: But you didn't think is that you don't have time.

805
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 4: The entire problem is that you don't have time. And

806
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 4: also she's not even like going to pay you. That's

807
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 4: the other thing, Like, so you're just gonna do all

808
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 4: of this like and it's not that she just wanted to.

809
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 4: Originally it was just like one cake, you know, eight cakes. Cool,

810
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 4: that's it. Now she's like, well, actually I want them

811
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 4: three tier. That's twenty four cakes. Are you actually kidding me?

812
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 3: So why you are not gonna eat that much cake? No,

813
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 3: it's eating that much. We'll do not like eat that

814
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 3: much cake at events. Yeah, honestly, even if you want.

815
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 1: To, I feel like there's so much like social pressure.

816
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, just have a small piece.

817
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 3: I guess that's me.

818
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 1: At every every cake filled event, I'm like, I guess I.

819
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 3: Won't eat them.

820
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 1: Not me. I go all in, like I'll take three

821
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: I need to do like that, I need to do

822
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: except one of that.

823
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 3: At Sophia's I was I ate so much I couldn't. Well,

824
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 3: there wasn't enough of that.

825
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: There also wasn't why I was like, does anyone want?

826
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 3: So I took like two bites. It was so good,

827
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 3: but I was like I can't finish. It's all bad.

828
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: Everyone felt that way because we were just so full

829
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: with the food too. But anyway, yeah, I think hiring

830
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: your friends for something is such a tough thing because

831
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: as someone who like I I've had friends who have

832
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: like wanted wanted like a dress or alterations or something

833
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: like that for free, because like we're friends and stuff,

834
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 1: and it's like I get that, but I also I

835
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: get frustrateds I'm like painy. But then I also catch

836
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 1: myself thinking about that too, about like oh, well, maybe

837
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 1: this friend can help me with this and it could

838
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: be like a little bit cheaper or something like that

839
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,399
Speaker 1: because of that, and it's like.

840
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 3: Nope too, but I feel like that's it.

841
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 4: But I also don't expect them to if they can't,

842
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 4: like I'll ask and be like this is a fun one.

843
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 3: Like my friend, my friend Nina.

844
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,439
Speaker 4: Who does all of the logos for our sketch group

845
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 4: and everything. She does that all for free, like for

846
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 4: her own time, and she just made us another one

847
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 4: for this new series that we're coming up with guys

848
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 4: and it's amazing. Yeah, they looked really good and I

849
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 4: and I ask her, I'm like, do you know?

850
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 3: Like I said, you don't have.

851
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 1: To, but like if you can, like cool like if not, yeah,

852
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: I feel like it's only like a chill thing to

853
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: like it makes a lot more sense to get free

854
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: stuff from each other if it's like a back and

855
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: forth thing, like if you give them a lot of

856
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: free stuff for things, you know what I mean.

857
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: But if that's not part of the dynamic, don't expect it.

858
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 4: And there is an update to touch on a few

859
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 4: things I've seen mentioned. Cassie has now cut out woooo,

860
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 4: as are her friends. Another thing people saying I was

861
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 4: being a dormat, We're completely right, And those few saying

862
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 4: I need therapy also were I've been actively looking for

863
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 4: a therapist I click with. I used to be good

864
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 4: at recognizing behavior akin to this, but lockdowns have been

865
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 4: have taken a toll on my mental health. A few

866
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,799
Speaker 4: people mentioned a contract style situation with a friend discount.

867
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 4: I'll definitely do some thinking on that idea to try

868
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 4: and help avoid situations like this. Happening again. For those

869
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 4: saying I shouldn't.

870
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 3: Have contacted Adam, I did on the soul basis that

871
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 3: this was his.

872
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 4: Wedding as well. I stand by my choice to contact him.

873
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 4: I don't think it was bad to contact him because

874
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 4: the other.

875
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: Thing is then like when you actually talked about it

876
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,839
Speaker 3: with him, he's like, this is the second time she's

877
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 3: done this.

878
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 4: Like he just was like, yeah, so sorry, I'll take

879
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 4: care of it. You know, been through this pissing me off.

880
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 4: We'll get it done.

881
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 3: It's like you're tattling like you're friends with him too,

882
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 3: and he's part of this. Yeah. For those mentioning getting

883
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 3: the police involved, what if any further threats happened, I

884
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 3: will Oh, yeah, she was getting threatened.

885
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 4: Sorry, I was still thinking, like because she said no

886
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 4: to cakes, I forgot that they were threatening her. I've

887
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 4: documented everything that's happened so far, just in case that's

888
00:42:59,080 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 4: actually the end.

889
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 2: Well, always keep everything in the documents. You have to,

890
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 2: cause like whenever I did like videography, i'd have to

891
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 2: have like, yo, this.

892
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 3: Is what's gonna happen.

893
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 2: This one's gonna delivered, because expectations could just fly all

894
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 2: over the place.

895
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 3: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna go

896
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:17,800
Speaker 3: on to the next one.

897
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: My bridesmaid kept wearing her dress everywhere before my wedding,

898
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: so I snapped, you're gonna get it dirty. I'm getting

899
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 1: married this summer and I've been trying hard to be

900
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: a chill bride.

901
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 3: My family and myself are doing most of the planning.

902
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: My cousin is letting us stay at her house and

903
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: and to what is that anti Antioch? Yeah, Tennessee Ania.

904
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: It's just outside of Nashville. So we're saving money before

905
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: the bachelorette party. And another cousin has a van and

906
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 1: we're all driving down together, so we.

907
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 3: Just have to split the cost of gas.

908
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from do Bedroom A thirty

909
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: one forty six And if you want to submit your

910
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: own story, go to the r slash Okay story times separated.

911
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 3: I'm Angie, I'm Sophia and honest, and we're here to

912
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 3: give good advice.

913
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 1: Goofly, but we don't have all the answers. We just

914
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: know what we would do in these situations.

915
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 3: So let us know what you.

916
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,800
Speaker 1: Would do in the comments, and Hopie says, none of

917
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: us are exactly swimming in cash, and I wanted to

918
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: keep costs down as much as possible. I also told

919
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 1: my bridesmaids, if there's anything about my wedding stressing you out,

920
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: let me know.

921
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 3: I'm the only one that should be stressing. And before

922
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 3: this little scenario, I was feeling pretty good. Anyway.

923
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: I found these perfect cocktail dresses at Anthropology Inclusive Sizing,

924
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: Gray Color and the Holy Grail.

925
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 3: They were on sale. Well, well, I made a deal

926
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 3: with the bridesmaids.

927
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 1: I buy the dresses if they covered any necessary alterations.

928
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: Everyone was happy. I gave everyone their dresses. Everyone looks fabulous.

929
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 1: We're all happy.

930
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,879
Speaker 3: Who said planting a wedding was hard? A you jinxed it?

931
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 3: Enter Roxy.

932
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: Back in December, I saw a photo of Roxy at

933
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,280
Speaker 1: her work Christmas party wearing the bridesmaid's dress.

934
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 3: I'll admit it bugged me.

935
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: I wanted the big reveal at the wedding to feel special,

936
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 1: not like a return a rerun of an HR office mixer.

937
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: But I bit my tongue because none of our mutual

938
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: friends were there. So I'm not going to stress myself

939
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: out about something I felt like was kind of petty.

940
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: The problem is we have a mutual friend getting married

941
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: in June, one month before my wedding. A lot of

942
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 1: my wedding guests will be at this wedding, and when

943
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: I asked Roxy what she was wearing, she casually said, Oh,

944
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 1: I'm just wearing the bridesmaid's dress from your wedding.

945
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 3: I like HoTT in it and it's my favorite. I paused.

946
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,360
Speaker 3: I told her I didn't want her to wear the

947
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 3: bridesmaid uniform as a guest to a wedding filled with

948
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 3: our mutual friends right before my big day. Well, now

949
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 3: Roxy thinks I'm being a bridezilla.

950
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: She pointed out that I did say I wanted them

951
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 1: to have a dress that they could wear again, but

952
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: I meant after the wedding, obviously. She then dropped the

953
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 1: bombshell that she's already worn into several events.

954
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,280
Speaker 3: I might have snapped.

955
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: I told her that since I bought the dress, I

956
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: didn't want her to wear it again until after my wedding.

957
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,879
Speaker 1: She hit back in that since she paid for the alterations,

958
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: she's invested just as much money into the dress as

959
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: I did, which, thanks to the sale, might actually be true.

960
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,879
Speaker 1: My other bridesmaids are on my side, but Roxy thinks

961
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm overreacting because it's just a dress.

962
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole for wedding?

963
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 1: The first time our friend group sees her in the

964
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: dress to be when she's standing at the altar with

965
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:25,800
Speaker 1: me many update, I guess, so we're meeting for dinner

966
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: tomorrow to talk. She actually reached out to me, so

967
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 1: fingers crossed, we do have an update.

968
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 3: But what do you think? Do you think OHP is

969
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 3: the a hole for this?

970
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: No?

971
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 3: I think that's super reasonable. I think yeah, OHP bought

972
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 3: the dress, and yes, she paid for alterations, but she

973
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 3: bought the dress for a specific reason, not for this

974
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 3: girl to wear it wherever. Yeah. No, I totally agree.

975
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 3: I think it's a little shocking how.

976
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: She doesn't understand the significance of this dress right now.

977
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: It's not like it's a wedding dress, but it's still

978
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 1: it's like this is it's still a bit of a

979
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: review like it's I guess it's not like as much

980
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: of a surprise as a wedding dresses, but it's definitely still.

981
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 3: Part of like your design for the wedding, Like.

982
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 1: It's it's just as important and a part of the

983
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: looks as like the table settings are and stuff like

984
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: that so, and.

985
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 3: I mean not that people. I would hope people wouldn't

986
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 3: be rude about it. But if they're going if she's

987
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 3: going to a wedding that all of their friends are

988
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 3: going in that dress, and then everyone goes to a

989
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 3: PE's wedding, They're gonna be like, oh, did you like

990
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 3: see Roxy's dress and then want that for your bridesmaids,

991
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 3: And not that that's like the biggest deal, but I

992
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 3: would be annoying and be like, no, it's it's the dress.

993
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 3: I would also be worried that she'd get it dirty.

994
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 1: But we do have an update here, so she's not

995
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,760
Speaker 1: wearing the dress to the June wedding, and she even apologized.

996
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 3: Oh well, there you go.

997
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 1: Conversation went well, apparently noise Yay, that's the update.

998
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 3: I'm going to go on to elaborate. But if you

999
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 3: don't like ramblers, I would stop reading here. I love rambles. Yeah,

1000
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 3: good news for you, we love them.

1001
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 1: I like to ramble and I had a few delicious

1002
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: cocktails at dinner tonight. It was a happy hours, so

1003
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: tipsy me loves to go off topic since there's no

1004
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: one here to telling me to stop and focus.

1005
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 3: Who knows what's going to come out? I can't wait.

1006
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure this is going to be a long read.

1007
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 1: I'm using text to talk on my iPad because I

1008
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: hate typing on my iPad.

1009
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 3: Ok Okay, this is not the kind of rambling that

1010
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 3: we need. I am going to skip it. Yeah. Oh

1011
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 3: it's so long, it is so much Okay.

1012
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 1: Finally got to the story after talking about how Opie

1013
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 1: is typing all this out. Yes, back to the story.

1014
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 1: When I got there, she was already there, which is

1015
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: unusual because I'm usually the early one. I hate being late.

1016
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: I also hate when other people are late, so I

1017
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,360
Speaker 1: tend to get to things early because how can I

1018
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 1: judge other people for being late?

1019
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 3: Family? That's so fun?

1020
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 1: But I was watching Ladies of London and the etiquette

1021
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: lady said that being early is also rude.

1022
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 3: Who knew?

1023
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 1: She actually said, if you're going to a dinner party,

1024
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: you should be about fifteen minutes late.

1025
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 3: So the who we haven't? Ope, he continues, if you

1026
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 3: get there too early? Oh my gosh. Okay. I thought

1027
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 3: that was interesting and I wanted to share the whole

1028
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 3: rabble of al being late is so funny.

1029
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've gone we okay, but let me get back

1030
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: to the update. I walk in, she stands up, gives

1031
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 1: me a hug and apologizes, So of course I immediately start

1032
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 1: to tear up, which makes her tear up, and we're

1033
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,839
Speaker 1: just standing there, hunging and crying.

1034
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: In the middle of the restaurant. That is the most

1035
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 3: girlhood thing I've ever heard of that they haven't even

1036
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 3: said anything.

1037
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: The one person said I'm sorry, and that's it. When

1038
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 1: we finally sit down, she tells me what's going on.

1039
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,320
Speaker 1: Apparently she's been a little depressed for the past few months.

1040
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 1: She feels like she's the only single person in our

1041
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: friend group. I hadn't thought about it, but she kind

1042
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 1: of his.

1043
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 3: She said.

1044
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 1: Even our friend who is Ace has a partner, which

1045
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 1: is true. But it's not like Roxy doesn't date. And

1046
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say she's picky. She just feels

1047
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: like if she can tell that she and the guy

1048
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: aren't compatible, there's no reason to waste time. I'll tell

1049
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: you why it hasn't worked out with the last three

1050
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 1: guys she's gone out with.

1051
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 3: Yes, please ramble, please ramble guy number one.

1052
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: Great guy owned his own business, and I thought he

1053
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: was very handsome, but he's not a pet guy. If

1054
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,879
Speaker 1: you do have a dog, he thinks it shouldn't live

1055
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 1: in the house.

1056
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 3: That's a huge red flag. Yeah, I'm gonna need my

1057
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 3: dog to be in the house with me. My dog's

1058
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 3: gonna beat in the bed.

1059
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 1: It should be outside with a nice doghouse, and the

1060
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,240
Speaker 1: dog definitely shouldn't get on the furniture.

1061
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 3: Her dog is her baby. So he had to go.

1062
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 3: I agree. My fiance knows to never make me choose

1063
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 3: between him and my dog. It would not be pretty.

1064
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 3: Guy number two hated his ex wife too much.

1065
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 4: Oh.

1066
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 1: She said he was always bringing her up, but never

1067
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 1: in a good way. And it's an ex wife too.

1068
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: He seems to always bring her up in conversations, like

1069
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,399
Speaker 1: they went to the movies, and he said that his

1070
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: ex always said that she loved the movies. This is

1071
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,720
Speaker 1: why that ex wife and her girlfriends win so much.

1072
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 3: But it turns out she wasn't really going to the movies.

1073
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: She was going out to cheat, or they were going

1074
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: for a hike and she had her hair in a ponytail.

1075
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 1: He told her how cute she looked then, so that

1076
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: his ex wore ponytails all the time.

1077
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 3: Okay, but so weird.

1078
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 1: Unless she was meeting up with the guy that she

1079
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: was cheating on him with. Then she always wore her

1080
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 1: hair down for him. She swears any topic of conversation

1081
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: he could bring back to his ex cheating on him.

1082
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 3: She felt like he wasn't over his ex wife, so

1083
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:35,240
Speaker 3: she cut it off.

1084
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 1: And Guy number three just enjoyed fart humor too much.

1085
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 3: For her liking. I don't think I have to elaborate

1086
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 3: my mood. Loves a good fart joke too, but I

1087
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 3: find it endearing. She thinks it's immature. So anyway, I'm

1088
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 3: going to say that a lot.

1089
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,439
Speaker 1: That's how I get back on the subject. She had

1090
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 1: been in a funk, and I'm sure me talking about

1091
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: my upcoming wedding constantly didn't help. She didn't say that,

1092
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 1: but I do talk about it a lot. I mean,

1093
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: look at me. I'm on Reddit talking about it now.

1094
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,320
Speaker 1: So getting back to roxy, she was in a funk.

1095
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: She picked up the dress from the seamstress and tried

1096
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: it on to see how it fit. She said she

1097
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 1: felt so pretty. She hadn't felt pretty in a long time.

1098
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 1: Isn't it funny how some outfice just make you feel good?

1099
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 1: I feel like that in my wedding dress, which I

1100
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:20,479
Speaker 1: got at a consignment's shop.

1101
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 3: Can you believe it.

1102
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 1: I took it to this seamstress and she worked magic

1103
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 1: on this dress. It was pretty before, but now it's beyond.

1104
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 1: Now you see what I did there talking about my

1105
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 1: wedding again.

1106
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 3: I'm trying to do better.

1107
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 1: So anyway, when her office holiday or her holiday office

1108
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 1: party came along, she so didn't want to go. She

1109
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: procrastinated until the last minute to find something to wear.

1110
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 1: She went shopping, couldn't find anything that she liked. She

1111
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: even went to anthropology and couldn't find anything in the

1112
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 1: store that she liked. Because she waited so long, she

1113
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,759
Speaker 1: didn't have time to wait for an online order. She

1114
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: knew it was wrong, but she wore the dress and

1115
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 1: everyone loved it.

1116
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:55,600
Speaker 3: She got so many compliments.

1117
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: Her work crush, flirted and danced. Even the women there

1118
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: liked it. She hit it off with one of her

1119
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: work colleagues, Aja, and they've hung out a lot since

1120
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 1: the party. They didn't talk much before that night because

1121
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: they're in completely different departments, but now they've gone to

1122
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: dinner several times and even to movies. They even hung

1123
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: out at OJ's apartment and watched at Bridgerton with their dogs,

1124
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 1: who were also good friends.

1125
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 3: Now when was this posted? I want to know which

1126
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 3: season they're watching, because it makes a difference. She also

1127
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 3: feels like upper management noticed her too.

1128
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: Since the office party, they've put her on bigger projects

1129
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: and it's all because of this dress. So anyway, live's

1130
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,840
Speaker 1: been pretty good since she wore the dress. This past weekend,

1131
00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: when we were hanging out and I'm of course droning

1132
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 1: on and on about my wedding, I brought up what

1133
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:48,720
Speaker 1: to wear to another's friend's wedding. That fuck came back

1134
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 1: and she snapped a little bit. She said, it really

1135
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 1: started off as a joke when she said that she

1136
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,720
Speaker 1: was going to wear the bridesmaid's dress, but my reaction

1137
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,799
Speaker 1: pissed her off. Looking back at my original post, I

1138
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: didn't elaborate on my reaction.

1139
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:05,359
Speaker 3: I'm excited to hear this reaction. I ultimate think it's

1140
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 3: funny that Opie didn't elaborate. Well, I think she's about to. Yeah,

1141
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:14,720
Speaker 3: she's like, I forgot to elaborate. I forgot. I just forgot.

1142
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 1: I know, I really loved to ramble and put in

1143
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,439
Speaker 1: all these unnecessary details, but I happened to leave it out.

1144
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 3: How unreasonable I was. Oh my goodness, so Opie says,

1145
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 3: I was hopping mad, y'all.

1146
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 1: I didn't ask her not to wear it. I told

1147
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: her that she wasn't wearing it because I paid for it.

1148
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 1: She said, I made her feel like a child, like

1149
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 1: I was her mother and she had to do what

1150
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: I told her to do because I said so. So

1151
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,880
Speaker 1: she acted like a child and through a tantrum. She

1152
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 1: also hasn't worn it anywhere else again. She just said

1153
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:46,839
Speaker 1: that to piss me off. Oh so she didn't even

1154
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: wear it to other now.

1155
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 3: She just wore it to the office party. The fateful

1156
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 3: office party tricked her.

1157
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 1: After the party, she did take it to the dry cleaners,

1158
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 1: but it's been hanging in her closet since. Even though

1159
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: I come off looking like a butt, I'm so happy.

1160
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,439
Speaker 1: I even told her about the Reddit post. She thought

1161
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 1: it was hilarious. She said she knew I must have

1162
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 1: been mad because I gave her a misfit name and

1163
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 1: not a hologram name.

1164
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 3: Don't know what that means.

1165
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 1: Hmmm, it's from a cartoon that we both loved as kids. Okay,

1166
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 1: She feels like Reddit was right, since most people called

1167
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 1: her the a hole.

1168
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 3: I apologized to you and told her that everyone sexier. People

1169
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,959
Speaker 3: were right. We bought a holes who deserve each other.

1170
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,240
Speaker 3: But I still feel like it's a happy ending.

1171
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: Yees she lovely, lovely when little tips like that can

1172
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 1: be resolved very quickly, wonderful, didn't even eat us.

1173
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, great, nailed it. Cool. That's the ND of that story.

1174
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 3: We've got another one coming up.

1175
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 1: Surety, Hey, it's Angie, your favorite Riley's girlfriend is here.

1176
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's

1177
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,240
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1178
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 3: Everyone is telling me to divorce my wife, but I

1179
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 3: just can't let go. Let it go, let it go.

1180
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 3: My wife and I met one night while I was

1181
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:05,399
Speaker 3: out with some friends at a local dive bar ooh.

1182
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 3: We instantly hit it off. Both of us could not

1183
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 3: spend more than a few days apart, and we could

1184
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:13,919
Speaker 3: not keep our hands off each other. By the way,

1185
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 3: this comes from undesired dingis and if you want to

1186
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 3: spit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

1187
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 3: storytime severed it.

1188
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, and I'm Savannah, and.

1189
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 3: We're here to get good. Avice goofy, but we don't

1190
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 3: have all the answers. Well, you know what we'd do,

1191
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 3: so let us know what you would do. In the comment,

1192
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 3: and Opie says, we were both relatively young when we met.

1193
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,399
Speaker 3: I was twenty two and she had just turned twenty one.

1194
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 3: I hadn't had a serious relationship up to this point,

1195
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,919
Speaker 3: and she had been in some but never engaged or married. Well, yeah,

1196
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,839
Speaker 3: that makes sense. She was twenty one. Everything felt so

1197
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:50,439
Speaker 3: natural and easy, so easy in fact, that I told

1198
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 3: her I loved her within a month of us meeting.

1199
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,360
Speaker 3: She was the first woman I had ever felt this

1200
00:56:55,480 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 3: way about. Very exciting, very exciting. Luckily, this didn't scare her,

1201
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 3: and she told me she loved me too. Within a

1202
00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 3: few months, we had moved into a small apartment together

1203
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 3: and everything was amazing. Whoa, whoa within a few months

1204
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:14,760
Speaker 3: eye so you within a few months of meeting Yep,

1205
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 3: sounds like it. Okay, we were madly in love and

1206
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 3: I could see myself spending the rest of my life

1207
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 3: with her. I am pretty traditional in a sense that

1208
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 3: marriage is something you do once, and this was something

1209
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 3: we discussed early in the relationship to avoid any rush

1210
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 3: or timelines. Although I knew I would marry her. I

1211
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 3: wanted to be absolutely sure and spend the next few

1212
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 3: years getting to know that I could spend forever with

1213
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 3: her and give her the chance to feel the same way.

1214
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 3: We got married after nearly five years of dating. That

1215
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 3: is a reasonable time. Lieh and life had been great.

1216
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:50,959
Speaker 3: I bought a modest house that we live in, pay

1217
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 3: all the bills, and provide a comfortable, middle class American lifestyle.

1218
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 3: We don't have joint finances. Everything comes out of my accounts,

1219
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 3: and she can spend her fifty one thousand a year

1220
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 3: salary whatever she pleases. We both drive newer vehicles, take

1221
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: trips out of the country, and pretty much have the

1222
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 3: liberty to buy or do whatever be like. I also

1223
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 3: help her pay for expensive things she can't outrite afford,

1224
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 3: so she only has a monthly car payment of about

1225
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 3: four fifty. In short, there is no financial strain on

1226
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 3: our marriage or lives, duel income, no kids. The issues

1227
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 3: started about a year ago. Everything was going fine in

1228
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 3: my eyes, but I was noticing a decline in intimacy.

1229
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,880
Speaker 3: We had been together two to three times a week

1230
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 3: for nearly seven years, and it had dropped down to

1231
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 3: maybe once a week, yes, and I like my crazy

1232
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,600
Speaker 3: but two three times down to one, I get that.

1233
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 3: It's like a big change, you know. I tried to

1234
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 3: communicate my concern with her after a very nice night

1235
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 3: out together, and she quickly brushed it off as nothing

1236
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 3: and we went about our evening. A week or two later,

1237
00:58:56,720 --> 00:59:00,160
Speaker 3: she sat me down to tell me she wasn't happy. Oh,

1238
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 3: it wasn't nothing. She felt like she didn't have close friends,

1239
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 3: didn't go out enough, and felt stuck sitting at home

1240
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 3: with me. Although she assured me this wasn't entirely my fault,

1241
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 3: she did point out some shortcomings she felt I could

1242
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 3: work on. This was hard to hear. I have never

1243
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 3: been controlling about what she does or who she does

1244
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:23,160
Speaker 3: it with. She goes out with friends to concerts, dinners,

1245
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 3: and drinks regularly. I told her I would make a

1246
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 3: serious effort to address her concerns, and even reached out

1247
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 3: to some of her friends to take her out for

1248
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 3: a night on my dime. She seemed to be back

1249
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: to her usual self after a month or so, but

1250
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 3: the intimacy continued to decline. I brought it up again,

1251
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 3: and this time it turned into the first real argument

1252
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 3: we had ever had. She surprisingly had a laundry list

1253
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:49,960
Speaker 3: of things I was doing that made her not want

1254
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 3: to be intimate with me. I was hurt, but made

1255
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 3: a conscious effort to address her concerns. I started drinking less,

1256
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 3: taking her out more, and using the home jim that

1257
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 3: had been collecting to I stopped bringing up intimacy entirely

1258
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 3: and let her decide when and what we did. This

1259
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 3: is where I messed up, and I have been dealing

1260
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 3: with the consequences ever since. The intimate side of our

1261
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,919
Speaker 3: marriage never recovered. There was no infidelity on my part,

1262
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 3: but I turned to close family members for advice on

1263
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:23,920
Speaker 3: what to do. Sparing personal details with third advice in hand,

1264
01:00:23,960 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 3: I wrote her a long letter about how I felt

1265
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:29,160
Speaker 3: and how some of her actions were affecting me. I

1266
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 3: revised it several times to make sure it wasn't accusatory,

1267
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 3: just a way to get my feelings out in a

1268
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 3: constructive way, without arguing. I had made up my mind

1269
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 3: that a reaction would determine my path forward. After reading it,

1270
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 3: she was defensive and blame me for her actions, or

1271
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 3: the lack thereof. I asked her to move out for

1272
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,560
Speaker 3: a few weeks and figure out what she wanted from

1273
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:53,240
Speaker 3: the marriage, if she wanted a divorce done, if she

1274
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 3: wanted to work on things. I was one hundred percent

1275
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 3: on board. The ball was in her court. She moved

1276
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 3: in with her stepdad for about three weeks. And pausing

1277
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 3: there because we're about halfway through the story. What do

1278
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 3: you think's going on? I think it's possible that she's cheating.

1279
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:10,480
Speaker 3: I think it is possible.

1280
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to straight up like accuse her of that.

1281
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: I think it's possible she's at least not sharing everything.

1282
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, going on. Well, we only have Op's perspective, so

1283
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 3: you know, obviously he might not tell us everything that

1284
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 3: he's doing. But it does seem like he's pretty actively

1285
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 3: trying to find a solution. It seems like she has

1286
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 3: given up in a way. Mm hmmm. Do we have

1287
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 3: their ages? Well, they were twenty one, and I think

1288
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 3: they're probably around twenty sick No, no, no, no, maybe a

1289
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 3: little bit longer. I don't know, because I wonder if

1290
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 3: they're young.

1291
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 1: I can check if they're like super young and like

1292
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 1: jumped into this rather quickly. They did get married after

1293
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 1: a reasonable time, but moving in early, Like, I just

1294
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 1: wonder if there's like any sort of pressures of like

1295
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 1: staying together or something, or if you know, she's maybe

1296
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 1: regretting not exploring more or something.

1297
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 3: I don't know. We don't have specific ages, but we

1298
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 3: know that they met when he was twenty one, and

1299
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 3: then they got married after five years, so I'm assuming

1300
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 3: that they're probably close to thirty. But yeah, we don't

1301
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 3: know specifically, but we got more. We kept semi regular communication,

1302
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:26,320
Speaker 3: but only saw each other in person once during that time.

1303
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,080
Speaker 3: Then she called and asked to get lunch to talk

1304
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 3: about what she had decided when we met. The first

1305
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 3: thing she said was that the time away had made

1306
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 3: her realize she could be independent, but she wanted to

1307
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,600
Speaker 3: work on things. This kind of shocked me because the

1308
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 3: delivery felt like she was perfectly fine without me. She's like,

1309
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:50,320
Speaker 3: I'm totally good being independent. I like having a friend, right,

1310
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 3: But one of the convenience of me being in her life,

1311
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,760
Speaker 3: she moved back in and things have been rocky ever since.

1312
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 3: Oh now, constant fighting, terrible communication, and zero effort from

1313
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 3: her side to address the intimacy issues. I know it

1314
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 3: sounds like she's a terrible person and I should walk away,

1315
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 3: but I added fuel to the fire by turning to

1316
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 3: drinking and video games to deal with my emotions. The

1317
01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:16,720
Speaker 3: drinking got to the point where I was being a mean,

1318
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 3: wasted person several times a week, telling her she made

1319
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 3: me miserable. Oh no, I stopped caring whether I spent

1320
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 3: any time with her, and aside from cooking and cleaning together,

1321
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 3: we are essentially roommates who share a bed most nights

1322
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 3: and really dislike each other. Seems hm. We started counseling

1323
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,560
Speaker 3: a few months ago, and every single session I leave

1324
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 3: feeling like a failure. I hear about how horrible of

1325
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 3: a husband I am, and how the things I do

1326
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 3: or don't do make or feel like I don't care

1327
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 3: about her. We haven't had spicy sleep in six months.

1328
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 3: We continue to fight constantly, and I feel like regardless

1329
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:57,200
Speaker 3: of what I do, there will always be a different

1330
01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 3: reason why she is upset. I feel like I can

1331
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 3: when no matter what I try, through all of this,

1332
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 3: I am still madly in love with this woman. I

1333
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 3: cannot see a life without her, and I constantly daydream

1334
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 3: about going back to the way things were. Loving her

1335
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 3: had always been so easy, and I want nothing more

1336
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 3: than for us to figure out our issues and move

1337
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:20,800
Speaker 3: past this I have refused to give up and to

1338
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 3: have continued making a conscious effort to show her that

1339
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 3: I care and deeply love her. It all came crashing

1340
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 3: down when she informed me in our last session that

1341
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 3: she felt like I would never change and that she

1342
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:37,040
Speaker 3: felt done with the marriage. This broke me. I sat

1343
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,560
Speaker 3: in silence for the last half hour of the session

1344
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:42,840
Speaker 3: trying to imagine a life without her, and I simply can't.

1345
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 3: I am confused and heartbroken as to why she can't

1346
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 3: seem to see my efforts, and frustrated by the lack

1347
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 3: of effort on her part to provide the same love

1348
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 3: and affection she is asking of me. Oh, Pia, I

1349
01:04:55,400 --> 01:04:57,840
Speaker 3: have a lot of questions for you, and I hate

1350
01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,880
Speaker 3: that you're not here in person for me to ask them,

1351
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 3: because drive over, what are you doing to show?

1352
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 2: Like?

1353
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,520
Speaker 3: What are your efforts are you trying?

1354
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 1: I want to know what your efforts are because what

1355
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 1: I just heard was I've completely started ignoring my wife

1356
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:18,320
Speaker 1: after this, you know, not unwarranted. I get it if

1357
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 1: maybe she wasn't emotionally available for you in the first place.

1358
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 1: I understand the feeling of like protecting yourself by detaching.

1359
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,160
Speaker 3: I get that, but we do have to acknowledge what

1360
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:31,919
Speaker 3: we're doing. We're drinking more, we're we're playing video games more.

1361
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 3: We're kind of ignoring her, telling them that she makes

1362
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 3: us miserable and being mean while we're too So what

1363
01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 3: great way, But you didn't mention.

1364
01:05:40,320 --> 01:05:43,760
Speaker 1: It so like because there was a few sentences there

1365
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:47,480
Speaker 1: that really got me because it was like it was wait,

1366
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 1: can I go Can I look at it to see

1367
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:51,040
Speaker 1: because it was.

1368
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 3: Like it was pretty wild. Yeah, I think op is

1369
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:59,160
Speaker 3: definitely leaving some things out of this. And I know

1370
01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:02,680
Speaker 3: P already. I'm traditional. I only believe in marriage once.

1371
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 3: But she seems to already be kind of one foot

1372
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:10,400
Speaker 3: out the door, and it seems like your whole body

1373
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:13,280
Speaker 3: is out the door, but you're planting your feet. You're like,

1374
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 3: I'm not laying right right.

1375
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:18,160
Speaker 1: I think this is the part that I was thinking of,

1376
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 1: you said, Like, we started counseling a few months ago.

1377
01:06:21,240 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 1: In every single session, I leave feeling like a failure.

1378
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:25,920
Speaker 1: I hear about how horrible of a husband I am

1379
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 1: and how the things I do or don't do make

1380
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:29,840
Speaker 1: her feel like I don't.

1381
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:30,240
Speaker 3: Care about her.

1382
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 1: So we continue to fight constantly. We haven't it'd spicesly

1383
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 1: in six months.

1384
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:36,600
Speaker 3: I feel like.

1385
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 1: Regardless of what I do, there will always be a

1386
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:41,400
Speaker 1: different reason. While she's upset, I feel like I cannot

1387
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: win no matter what I try.

1388
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:45,480
Speaker 3: What are you trying? Like it just feels it just

1389
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 3: I don't know it.

1390
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:51,200
Speaker 1: It's very easy for someone to mess up a bunch

1391
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 1: and then get stuck in that mindset of like I've

1392
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:58,479
Speaker 1: just you've just given up, but you definitely can't keep

1393
01:06:58,520 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 1: thinking of like, oh, I don't know. It just felt

1394
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 1: like you listened all the reasons of things that you're

1395
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,480
Speaker 1: doing wrong, and then you were like, I.

1396
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,080
Speaker 3: Just don't understand why she's mad at me. Yeah, but

1397
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:09,680
Speaker 3: like you told us, yeah, you just said it.

1398
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:13,560
Speaker 1: So those things that you mentioned are probably what you

1399
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:17,160
Speaker 1: could fix to help the marriage. Like, I'm just not convinced.

1400
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 1: You're telling us that you're trying to change and that

1401
01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 1: you're putting efforts in, but I am not convinced.

1402
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 3: She's not convinced.

1403
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, so let me know, because it seems perfectly reasonable

1404
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:32,760
Speaker 1: why she does not feel happy in this marriage and

1405
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:35,880
Speaker 1: maybe you know, I'm sure there was stuff on her

1406
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,920
Speaker 1: end as well in the beginning, but you're acting as

1407
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,840
Speaker 1: if you can't do anything in this situation, but you

1408
01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:41,600
Speaker 1: absolutely can.

1409
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,840
Speaker 3: But we've got a little bit left. I can say

1410
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 3: with one hundred percent confidence that I do not want

1411
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 3: to call it quits. I feel like one day we

1412
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 3: can move past this and be back to our old selves,

1413
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:55,320
Speaker 3: madly in love and enjoying every day we have together.

1414
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 3: I have stopped asking friends and family for advice because

1415
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:01,000
Speaker 3: everyone is just telling me to get a divorce, and

1416
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:03,919
Speaker 3: that is not what I want. Has anyone else ever

1417
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 3: been at this point? And as real advice on how

1418
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:10,040
Speaker 3: to continue fighting for someone you love? Are my efforts

1419
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 3: in vain and has her mind already been made up?

1420
01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 3: I am hoping someone out there has gone through something

1421
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,840
Speaker 3: similar and can tell me it gets better. I want

1422
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:20,640
Speaker 3: nothing more than for us to figure it out, but

1423
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:25,400
Speaker 3: I feel completely lost after today. Any helpful advice is appreciated,

1424
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 3: and that is the end of that story. I will say.

1425
01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 3: We had a marriage counselor on a while ago, and

1426
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:40,080
Speaker 3: she was talking about how a lot of clients will

1427
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:44,599
Speaker 3: come in with the expectation that marriage counseling is talking

1428
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:47,000
Speaker 3: about all the things that your partner has done to

1429
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:50,479
Speaker 3: upset you and everything you're angry about, and stuff and

1430
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:53,400
Speaker 3: she always kind of stops that and just says, no,

1431
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:56,960
Speaker 3: I want you to talk about the life you want

1432
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 3: to have together, Like, let's imagine what is it we're

1433
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:03,600
Speaker 3: working towards, rather than just kind of looking back constantly.

1434
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense. You could like dwell on it

1435
01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:08,040
Speaker 1: get a little too negative.

1436
01:09:08,360 --> 01:09:12,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like, Okay, maybe we're not saying oh,

1437
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:13,800
Speaker 3: he never takes out the trash, and it's just like,

1438
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:16,680
Speaker 3: I really want to be in a partnership where where

1439
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:20,120
Speaker 3: you're sharing things equally and doing these equally, and so

1440
01:09:20,200 --> 01:09:24,479
Speaker 3: it's not being negative, but yeah, looking forward to why

1441
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:26,920
Speaker 3: we want to be together. And that's the end of

1442
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:27,360
Speaker 3: the story.