1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,595 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Fox 2 00:00:21,915 --> 00:00:26,395 Speaker 1: quote News unquote is reportedly set to fire at the 3 00:00:26,395 --> 00:00:31,995 Speaker 1: direct instructions of Rupert Murdoch it's CEO, Suzanne Scott. Suzanne 4 00:00:31,995 --> 00:00:34,555 Speaker 1: Scott has been there since launch in nineteen ninety six 5 00:00:34,555 --> 00:00:39,435 Speaker 1: and has been many things Greta van Sustrans, producer, vice president, 6 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:46,195 Speaker 1: reported sexual harassment, cover up, enabler, and now designated scapegoat. 7 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:51,355 Speaker 1: Suzanne Scott figures prominently in the dominion lawsuit depositions and texts, 8 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:54,635 Speaker 1: and since Murdoch has always made sure that whatever scandals 9 00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:57,235 Speaker 1: due to his company, they will do nothing to him 10 00:00:57,235 --> 00:01:01,395 Speaker 1: and nothing to his stars, she is apparently going to 11 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:06,475 Speaker 1: be the one who is thrown overboard. Still, Fox quote 12 00:01:06,515 --> 00:01:10,835 Speaker 1: News unquote is not going to destroy itself. May seem 13 00:01:10,955 --> 00:01:14,315 Speaker 1: that way this past week especially, but it has survived 14 00:01:14,395 --> 00:01:17,315 Speaker 1: everything for more than twenty six years now, and if 15 00:01:17,355 --> 00:01:19,955 Speaker 1: it is going to die, we are going to have 16 00:01:20,035 --> 00:01:24,675 Speaker 1: to kill it so that democracy may live. So I 17 00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:29,475 Speaker 1: have ten suggestions, ten life hacks. Some of them things 18 00:01:29,515 --> 00:01:33,355 Speaker 1: you can do personally at home. But let me preface this. 19 00:01:33,475 --> 00:01:37,395 Speaker 1: We are up against men and women, evil men and 20 00:01:37,435 --> 00:01:41,955 Speaker 1: women confident and skilled and from the day their propaganda 21 00:01:41,995 --> 00:01:45,875 Speaker 1: machines started firing up, willing to use any influence, use 22 00:01:45,915 --> 00:01:50,195 Speaker 1: any excuse, bend any arm, manipulate any government, and anybody 23 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,115 Speaker 1: in any government to get them into a position to 24 00:01:53,235 --> 00:01:58,355 Speaker 1: spread their pollution and collect their profits. It is, in fact, 25 00:01:58,395 --> 00:02:00,755 Speaker 1: not much of a stretch to say, and you should 26 00:02:00,795 --> 00:02:05,315 Speaker 1: know this going into this war, that Fox's channel exists 27 00:02:05,395 --> 00:02:13,995 Speaker 1: today because of one man, Rudy Giuliani. This is a 28 00:02:14,035 --> 00:02:17,795 Speaker 1: story that over the years seems to have gotten forgotten 29 00:02:17,875 --> 00:02:21,635 Speaker 1: into the folds of New York City history and or 30 00:02:21,835 --> 00:02:26,115 Speaker 1: cable television history, and it is important to understand it, 31 00:02:26,155 --> 00:02:29,435 Speaker 1: to understand how we got here and to understand whether 32 00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:33,075 Speaker 1: or not we can get back. In the days before 33 00:02:33,155 --> 00:02:37,075 Speaker 1: that channel launched on October seventh, nineteen ninety six, a 34 00:02:37,235 --> 00:02:41,315 Speaker 1: date which will live in infamy, the major distributor of 35 00:02:41,355 --> 00:02:44,155 Speaker 1: cable television in New York City and in this country 36 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:49,355 Speaker 1: was Time Warner. Time Warner Cable. There was next to 37 00:02:49,475 --> 00:02:53,115 Speaker 1: no home satellite distribution of anything. So if Time Warner 38 00:02:53,315 --> 00:02:56,795 Speaker 1: would not carry your channel in many places, it just 39 00:02:57,075 --> 00:03:00,955 Speaker 1: would not get carried. And Time Warner was not going 40 00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:05,915 Speaker 1: to carry Fox quote News unquote channel in New York 41 00:03:06,635 --> 00:03:09,875 Speaker 1: It carried CNN, which in fact it was about to 42 00:03:09,995 --> 00:03:14,595 Speaker 1: buy from Ted Turner. It carried another new outlet called MSNBC, 43 00:03:15,475 --> 00:03:17,515 Speaker 1: but it argued it was only doing that because it 44 00:03:17,595 --> 00:03:19,795 Speaker 1: already had a deal in place to carry an NBC 45 00:03:19,955 --> 00:03:24,555 Speaker 1: cable network called America's Talking, which NBC had closed down, 46 00:03:25,275 --> 00:03:29,395 Speaker 1: much to the dismay of its executive producer, fellow named Ales, 47 00:03:29,715 --> 00:03:34,275 Speaker 1: and put on MSNBC in its place on its cable systems. 48 00:03:35,235 --> 00:03:38,715 Speaker 1: Rubert Burnox New York Post had also slammed various executives 49 00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:41,315 Speaker 1: at Time Warner over the years, and the companies did 50 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:44,355 Speaker 1: not like each other, and even if they had, Fox 51 00:03:44,435 --> 00:03:47,515 Speaker 1: had virtually no standing as a news organization. It had 52 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:52,035 Speaker 1: launched Fox News Sunday again Fox News in quotes on 53 00:03:52,075 --> 00:03:56,115 Speaker 1: its local stations only five months previously. That was it. 54 00:03:56,635 --> 00:04:02,115 Speaker 1: There was no Fox Network News. As late as October third, 55 00:04:02,235 --> 00:04:05,475 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety six, four days to launch, it looked as 56 00:04:05,475 --> 00:04:08,355 Speaker 1: if the channel, the product of its brand new production 57 00:04:08,395 --> 00:04:12,715 Speaker 1: assistant Suzanne Scott, and its unknown radio announcer co host 58 00:04:12,755 --> 00:04:18,555 Speaker 1: of its new liberal versus Conservative debate show, Sean Hanitti, 59 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,875 Speaker 1: and all the rest of them would not be seen 60 00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:27,515 Speaker 1: at all in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Bronx maybe. And that's 61 00:04:27,595 --> 00:04:31,755 Speaker 1: when New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani said that if Time 62 00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:35,475 Speaker 1: Warner would not give Foxes supposed news station a channel 63 00:04:35,595 --> 00:04:39,795 Speaker 1: on its own on its cable system, he Giuliani would 64 00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:43,195 Speaker 1: direct that one of the five channels assigned to the 65 00:04:43,235 --> 00:04:46,035 Speaker 1: City of New York to use as the city saw 66 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,835 Speaker 1: fit as part of the franchise that Time Warner had 67 00:04:48,835 --> 00:04:54,115 Speaker 1: been granted, one of those five public access channels would 68 00:04:54,275 --> 00:05:00,195 Speaker 1: carry Fox quote news unquote. Time Warner threatened to sue. 69 00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:04,235 Speaker 1: Fox threatened to sue, Giuliani threatened to sue, and all 70 00:05:04,235 --> 00:05:06,755 Speaker 1: the while, Giuliani claimed he was only doing this because 71 00:05:06,755 --> 00:05:10,115 Speaker 1: the new operation would add fourteen hundred and seventy five 72 00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:13,755 Speaker 1: new jobs in Manhattan, and maybe if they didn't carry 73 00:05:13,755 --> 00:05:16,635 Speaker 1: it in Manhattan, Rupert Murdoch would move it to someplace like, 74 00:05:17,155 --> 00:05:22,075 Speaker 1: I don't know, Secaucus, New Jersey. Giuliani never mentioned that 75 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,795 Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch was willing to pay Time Warner one hundred 76 00:05:24,795 --> 00:05:29,395 Speaker 1: and ten million dollars for a cable channel on its 77 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:34,035 Speaker 1: system to stick Fox on just in Manhattan. And with 78 00:05:34,115 --> 00:05:36,715 Speaker 1: that kind of money flying around, it was one hundred 79 00:05:36,715 --> 00:05:40,555 Speaker 1: and ten million for access to one point one million 80 00:05:40,595 --> 00:05:44,755 Speaker 1: cable subscribers. With that much money going around, god knows 81 00:05:44,835 --> 00:05:48,475 Speaker 1: what the deal might have been worth to Rudy Giuliani. 82 00:05:50,195 --> 00:05:53,435 Speaker 1: In any event, overnight a deal was reached, You bet 83 00:05:53,435 --> 00:05:57,155 Speaker 1: it was, and Rudy Giuliani could happily call Rupert Murdoch 84 00:05:57,235 --> 00:06:00,515 Speaker 1: and tell him that Fox quote news unquote was on 85 00:06:00,555 --> 00:06:06,795 Speaker 1: the air here in fund City. That's how when and 86 00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:11,035 Speaker 1: where the oxy moron of Fox quote news unquote began. 87 00:06:12,595 --> 00:06:16,195 Speaker 1: So now ten life hacks as to how to bring 88 00:06:16,235 --> 00:06:18,795 Speaker 1: it to an end. Some of these I've mentioned before, 89 00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:23,715 Speaker 1: others are new. First mentioned previously Senate hearings into what 90 00:06:24,835 --> 00:06:30,075 Speaker 1: into Fox quote news unquote? What about Fox quote news unquote? 91 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:34,995 Speaker 1: What's the difference? Call it whatever you want, ask whatever 92 00:06:35,075 --> 00:06:37,875 Speaker 1: you want. Just make sure Murdoch and Hannity and Carlson 93 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:41,875 Speaker 1: and Ingram get roughed up. Just think of what Republicans 94 00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:45,435 Speaker 1: would do in the House if the dominion documents had 95 00:06:45,475 --> 00:06:48,395 Speaker 1: been about things said and written and done and lied 96 00:06:48,435 --> 00:06:53,115 Speaker 1: about by people at MSNBC on behalf of Joe Biden 97 00:06:53,235 --> 00:06:57,555 Speaker 1: or better yet, Barack Obama. Just imagine Obama had not 98 00:06:57,755 --> 00:07:00,755 Speaker 1: won in two thousand and eight and then it was documented, 99 00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:04,515 Speaker 1: indisputable in House proof that came to the surface that 100 00:07:04,795 --> 00:07:09,475 Speaker 1: I had altered facts in my MSNBC scripts to make 101 00:07:09,515 --> 00:07:12,115 Speaker 1: it seem like he had one, and that I was 102 00:07:12,195 --> 00:07:15,875 Speaker 1: telling people America needed to go burn down Washington because 103 00:07:15,955 --> 00:07:18,875 Speaker 1: Obama had been the victim of a rigged election. Just 104 00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:23,195 Speaker 1: think about that. What would House Republicans do to me 105 00:07:23,795 --> 00:07:29,915 Speaker 1: and MSNBC and NBC and NBC's parent corporation. That is 106 00:07:29,955 --> 00:07:33,955 Speaker 1: what we need to do now to Fox only in 107 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:39,515 Speaker 1: the Senate point two also mentioned previously. The revelation in 108 00:07:39,555 --> 00:07:42,835 Speaker 1: the dominion documents that seems closest to open and shut 109 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:46,235 Speaker 1: evidence of a crime is the assertion that Rupert Murdoch 110 00:07:46,395 --> 00:07:50,475 Speaker 1: showed Jared Kushner some of Joe Biden's twenty twenty campaign 111 00:07:50,475 --> 00:07:54,115 Speaker 1: television commercials before they had been publicly seen, or maybe 112 00:07:54,155 --> 00:07:57,915 Speaker 1: even before they had been privately seen. That could be 113 00:07:58,075 --> 00:08:02,795 Speaker 1: prosecuted as an illegal contribution in kind, the legal term 114 00:08:02,835 --> 00:08:06,835 Speaker 1: for a campaign donation that has not in money. It's 115 00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:09,875 Speaker 1: not like it carries the death penalty, but it alone 116 00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:13,315 Speaker 1: could be the centerpiece of the aforementioned Senate hearings into 117 00:08:13,355 --> 00:08:17,475 Speaker 1: Fox And if it really was Murdoch showed Kushner and 118 00:08:17,515 --> 00:08:21,715 Speaker 1: not Murdoch. Had somebody else show Kushner, a creative prosecutor 119 00:08:21,795 --> 00:08:23,435 Speaker 1: might be able to use it as a weapman to 120 00:08:23,515 --> 00:08:29,595 Speaker 1: threaten Murdoch's American citizenship, go nuts here. If you want 121 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:34,715 Speaker 1: to destabilize things at Fox. Rupert Murdoch has already showed 122 00:08:34,835 --> 00:08:39,555 Speaker 1: us where we start. As I reported at great length 123 00:08:39,555 --> 00:08:42,235 Speaker 1: earlier this week, when he wanted to shut me up 124 00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:45,395 Speaker 1: about my criticism of Fox quote news unquote and Bill 125 00:08:45,435 --> 00:08:50,835 Speaker 1: O'Reilly and others, he went after not me, not my boss, 126 00:08:50,915 --> 00:08:54,395 Speaker 1: not my boss's boss, not my boss's boss's boss. He 127 00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:58,355 Speaker 1: went after the chairman of the parent corporation, General Electric, 128 00:08:58,675 --> 00:09:03,395 Speaker 1: and rather successfully. Rupert Murdoch turns ninety two years old 129 00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:07,115 Speaker 1: a week from tomorrow. He's got a new girlfriend. Nothing 130 00:09:07,555 --> 00:09:11,435 Speaker 1: would give him a more unhappy birthday than a challenge 131 00:09:11,835 --> 00:09:16,675 Speaker 1: to his liberty and a challenge to his citizenship, even 132 00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:21,755 Speaker 1: if neither goes the distance. Let's give him a new hobby. 133 00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:25,035 Speaker 1: Third on the list of ten ways to destroy Fox 134 00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:29,315 Speaker 1: quote news unquote, this is new. The White House Correspondents 135 00:09:29,355 --> 00:09:34,315 Speaker 1: Association has to evoke Fox's White House credentials. Period. It's 136 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:38,115 Speaker 1: not a news organization. It's not legitimate. It's as phony 137 00:09:38,155 --> 00:09:43,835 Speaker 1: as NEWSMAX or oa N or Lindell TV. Maybe it's 138 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:47,955 Speaker 1: worse because on the record, in all those documents, it's 139 00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,515 Speaker 1: clear they were perfectly aware of that they were doing 140 00:09:50,555 --> 00:09:55,195 Speaker 1: things that were not close to the truth. The WHCA, 141 00:09:55,235 --> 00:09:58,155 Speaker 1: the White House Correspondence Association, has always been loath to 142 00:09:58,195 --> 00:10:01,035 Speaker 1: do something like this and couched its reluctance in terms 143 00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:03,675 Speaker 1: of the First Amendment and the marketplace of ideas. But 144 00:10:03,715 --> 00:10:07,715 Speaker 1: the representative of network, not just perverting the news, not 145 00:10:07,795 --> 00:10:10,515 Speaker 1: just doing it deliberately, but leaving a trail of evidence 146 00:10:10,515 --> 00:10:16,035 Speaker 1: a mile wide that it did so deliberately with malice aforethought, 147 00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:23,155 Speaker 1: deserves no protection from a journalistic association. For you kids 148 00:10:23,195 --> 00:10:26,675 Speaker 1: out there, during the Bush administration, they admitted to the 149 00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:30,395 Speaker 1: White House press room a guy who called himself Jeff Gannon, 150 00:10:31,475 --> 00:10:38,675 Speaker 1: representing Talon News, who only asked questions like what does 151 00:10:38,715 --> 00:10:41,755 Speaker 1: the President think of Democrats helping the terrorists the way 152 00:10:41,795 --> 00:10:46,755 Speaker 1: they always do? It turned out Talon News was just 153 00:10:46,835 --> 00:10:50,675 Speaker 1: an offshot of a far right pack. There were only 154 00:10:50,715 --> 00:10:53,275 Speaker 1: three people working there. Gannon was one of them, and 155 00:10:53,395 --> 00:10:58,635 Speaker 1: Gannon was just a male nude model actually named Jeff Guckert. 156 00:10:59,755 --> 00:11:03,235 Speaker 1: Time has proven that he had more business being in 157 00:11:03,235 --> 00:11:08,195 Speaker 1: the White House press room than Peter Doocey. And not 158 00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:11,555 Speaker 1: only should the White House Correspondence Association revoke all credentials 159 00:11:11,555 --> 00:11:14,955 Speaker 1: from Fox, so too should the RCTA, which is the 160 00:11:14,955 --> 00:11:19,515 Speaker 1: group supervising reporters covering Congress. Now, if you fear this 161 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:24,315 Speaker 1: could someday lead to a Republican administration banning a legitimate reporter, 162 00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:28,915 Speaker 1: well yeah, that could happen four years ago. It was 163 00:11:29,035 --> 00:11:32,555 Speaker 1: twenty eighteen when the White House banned Jim Acosta of CNN. 164 00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:35,475 Speaker 1: Besides which, the only reason you have a reporter in 165 00:11:35,515 --> 00:11:38,595 Speaker 1: the White House is network vanity, so you can show 166 00:11:38,635 --> 00:11:41,595 Speaker 1: how cool you are and run the video of your 167 00:11:41,715 --> 00:11:45,755 Speaker 1: guy talking. A banned network will still get its video 168 00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:49,435 Speaker 1: and its soundbites. The actual substance of covering the White 169 00:11:49,435 --> 00:11:52,515 Speaker 1: House requires just making sure you are recording the pool 170 00:11:52,635 --> 00:11:56,035 Speaker 1: feed from the briefing room or from wherever the president is. 171 00:11:58,395 --> 00:12:05,035 Speaker 1: Step four. Democrats should flatly boycott not just Fox quote 172 00:12:05,035 --> 00:12:09,275 Speaker 1: news unquote, never go on the channel, but boycott all 173 00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:13,395 Speaker 1: News corp Properties, local Fox TV stations, the Wall Street Journal, 174 00:12:13,395 --> 00:12:16,235 Speaker 1: the New York Post, the whole thing a lot of 175 00:12:16,275 --> 00:12:20,395 Speaker 1: Democrats have gone on Fox to prove their metal or something, 176 00:12:20,595 --> 00:12:22,795 Speaker 1: or in the mistaken belief that they can say something 177 00:12:22,835 --> 00:12:27,875 Speaker 1: that will cut through to the conservative audience. Well, they can't. 178 00:12:28,475 --> 00:12:30,675 Speaker 1: And as much as I respect and defer to the 179 00:12:30,675 --> 00:12:33,675 Speaker 1: work of Greg Sargeant of the Washington Post, who wrote 180 00:12:33,755 --> 00:12:37,075 Speaker 1: yesterday that Democrats should not boycott, but should go on Fox, 181 00:12:37,195 --> 00:12:40,435 Speaker 1: but with a plan to confront the hosts and stir 182 00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:43,915 Speaker 1: up angry and create exactly the kind of viral moments 183 00:12:43,955 --> 00:12:48,115 Speaker 1: you see Republicans try to manufacture on CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, 184 00:12:48,515 --> 00:12:52,475 Speaker 1: anywhere there's a camera. The problem with that is how 185 00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:55,675 Speaker 1: many Democrats are any damn good at creating viral moments? 186 00:12:56,555 --> 00:12:59,515 Speaker 1: And if one actually created one at Fox's expense, that 187 00:12:59,555 --> 00:13:01,795 Speaker 1: would be the last time they'd ever be invited to 188 00:13:01,835 --> 00:13:05,955 Speaker 1: go on Fox. I'm asking out of the Democrats this 189 00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:08,635 Speaker 1: week now. We want them to be good at creating 190 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:13,195 Speaker 1: viral moments. Step five to sink Fox. It's not a 191 00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:19,875 Speaker 1: huge issue, but non news media types, sportspeople, retired journalists 192 00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:22,275 Speaker 1: hawking your memoirs. I don't want to see you on 193 00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:27,595 Speaker 1: Fox quote news unquote. They are not your friends. Stephen A. Smith. 194 00:13:27,675 --> 00:13:32,155 Speaker 1: This means you Sean Hannity, maybe your real life friend. 195 00:13:32,835 --> 00:13:36,155 Speaker 1: I suppose I actually thought this one about Hannity in 196 00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:39,275 Speaker 1: fact as recently as two thousand and nine, and there 197 00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:42,435 Speaker 1: are photographs, and I am embarrassed by them. He is 198 00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:45,715 Speaker 1: not your friend. He was not my friend. Moreover, if 199 00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:49,315 Speaker 1: something arose and by selling you out, he could divert 200 00:13:49,355 --> 00:13:53,035 Speaker 1: attention from the Dominion scandal for one day, before you 201 00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:57,115 Speaker 1: knew it, Stephen, you would be on sale at Sean 202 00:13:57,195 --> 00:13:59,955 Speaker 1: Hannity's house for four dollars and ninety nine cents a pound. 203 00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:05,355 Speaker 1: Step six. This is also not a huge issue. There 204 00:14:05,395 --> 00:14:08,755 Speaker 1: aren't that many media reporters anymore, and certainly very few 205 00:14:08,795 --> 00:14:12,315 Speaker 1: TV critics. There used to be dozens and dozens, and 206 00:14:12,475 --> 00:14:15,715 Speaker 1: every newspaper in every website had one and sometimes two. 207 00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:19,515 Speaker 1: The New York Times had like five TV reporters. But 208 00:14:19,715 --> 00:14:23,235 Speaker 1: they the ones that remain anyway, and the political reporters 209 00:14:23,235 --> 00:14:26,115 Speaker 1: who cover Fox quote news unquote and give a damn 210 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,915 Speaker 1: about this country need to stop viewing them and presenting 211 00:14:29,955 --> 00:14:33,675 Speaker 1: them in their work as a news organization. They are 212 00:14:33,835 --> 00:14:38,395 Speaker 1: not That's the point. If you must cover them. Things 213 00:14:38,475 --> 00:14:41,915 Speaker 1: happen on there that have some news value, you must 214 00:14:41,995 --> 00:14:44,115 Speaker 1: cover them as you do News Max and Oan and 215 00:14:44,195 --> 00:14:47,075 Speaker 1: Lindell tb and Steve Bennett, even if it's just symbolic, 216 00:14:47,155 --> 00:14:50,795 Speaker 1: even Oliver Darcy of CNN, even if you just convince 217 00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:54,595 Speaker 1: your bosses that it would be good gamesmanship just to 218 00:14:54,635 --> 00:14:58,995 Speaker 1: put quotes around news as I have in this piece, 219 00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:04,635 Speaker 1: So the headline actually reads Fox quotation, mark News quotation, 220 00:15:04,715 --> 00:15:09,395 Speaker 1: and mark step seven. Concombinant with that, there is a 221 00:15:09,435 --> 00:15:12,755 Speaker 1: more meta version. I started suggesting this to my masters 222 00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:16,515 Speaker 1: at MSNBC in nineteen ninety eight. I said that Fox 223 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:20,555 Speaker 1: was not news, and that in boasting about their own ratings, 224 00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:24,795 Speaker 1: they should not compare themselves to Fox. I said, you 225 00:15:24,835 --> 00:15:28,235 Speaker 1: don't compare our ratings to the cartoon channel, Why do 226 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:32,475 Speaker 1: you compare them to Fox? CNN should be who we 227 00:15:32,555 --> 00:15:36,195 Speaker 1: compare ourselves to. CNN should be in competition with MSNBC 228 00:15:36,515 --> 00:15:39,235 Speaker 1: and CNN and MSNBC should, I guess, be in competition 229 00:15:39,235 --> 00:15:41,555 Speaker 1: with whatever's left of Headline News and I don't know 230 00:15:41,715 --> 00:15:45,875 Speaker 1: News Nation. Just make it up, it's TV. Put those 231 00:15:46,035 --> 00:15:49,075 Speaker 1: ratings out, declare yourselves number one or two. You had 232 00:15:49,155 --> 00:15:52,355 Speaker 1: ratings fourteen times the size of News Nation, and you 233 00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:56,075 Speaker 1: continued your seventy eighth consecutive month in first place, MSNBC, 234 00:15:56,475 --> 00:16:02,235 Speaker 1: just do it leave Fox out of it. Eight. Now 235 00:16:02,275 --> 00:16:05,075 Speaker 1: to the three things you can do as you play 236 00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:08,675 Speaker 1: the home version of the Lets Destroy Fox game. From 237 00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:11,875 Speaker 1: my own days doing this at NBC, it is clear 238 00:16:12,315 --> 00:16:15,715 Speaker 1: that the performative hosts on the network cannot be shamed. 239 00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:21,555 Speaker 1: That's how they got their jobs. Do you think Tucker 240 00:16:21,675 --> 00:16:27,155 Speaker 1: Carlson is capable of feeling shame? How you ask as 241 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,795 Speaker 1: you wring your hands, does Sean Handy sleep at night 242 00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:35,835 Speaker 1: on a bed made out of money? That's how? However, 243 00:16:36,555 --> 00:16:40,195 Speaker 1: there are people at Fox who genuinely think they are journalists. 244 00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:45,435 Speaker 1: Somehow they think themselves walled off from the poisoning of 245 00:16:45,475 --> 00:16:49,675 Speaker 1: America done by everybody else over there. In that sort 246 00:16:49,715 --> 00:16:54,555 Speaker 1: of direction, Brett Bear once approached me at a White 247 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:58,995 Speaker 1: House Correspondence dinner, affably and respectfully, seemed like a really 248 00:16:59,075 --> 00:17:02,155 Speaker 1: nice guy, and explain to me, as if he were 249 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,875 Speaker 1: talking to a third grader, that they're really were are 250 00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:07,755 Speaker 1: two networks at Fox, as if I did not understand 251 00:17:07,835 --> 00:17:11,075 Speaker 1: the delusion under which he and the likes of Shepherd 252 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,395 Speaker 1: Smith and Chris Wallace and even brit Hume in those 253 00:17:14,475 --> 00:17:19,835 Speaker 1: days actually had to operate or go insane. So they 254 00:17:20,115 --> 00:17:24,235 Speaker 1: are the people to humiliate in social media. Brit Hume 255 00:17:24,395 --> 00:17:28,035 Speaker 1: and that Harris Faulkner, And I guess there are other 256 00:17:28,075 --> 00:17:32,635 Speaker 1: people who still think they are journalists, the reporters, for instance. 257 00:17:32,755 --> 00:17:38,395 Speaker 1: These people believe they still have reputations to uphold. Make 258 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:44,595 Speaker 1: that impossible. Shame a Fox non opinion journalist today, and 259 00:17:45,595 --> 00:17:49,715 Speaker 1: you boycott all the Fox stations and their advertisers, your 260 00:17:49,755 --> 00:17:52,595 Speaker 1: local Fox station, the network, the sports operation, the Wall 261 00:17:52,635 --> 00:17:55,795 Speaker 1: Street Journal. Laura Ingram does not give a damn whether 262 00:17:55,835 --> 00:17:58,675 Speaker 1: you like her or not. And Lord knows that ship 263 00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:04,115 Speaker 1: sailed decades ago. But many of the others really do 264 00:18:04,315 --> 00:18:10,875 Speaker 1: care if you don't like them. Step nine. Angelo Carosone, 265 00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:14,315 Speaker 1: who is the president of Media Matters for America, notes 266 00:18:14,355 --> 00:18:18,795 Speaker 1: that there are still about ninety million cable subscribers in 267 00:18:18,795 --> 00:18:24,995 Speaker 1: this country. They okay, we all pay money to Fox 268 00:18:25,555 --> 00:18:30,195 Speaker 1: via our cable outlet for Fox quote news unquote. Fox 269 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,395 Speaker 1: gets paid not by its viewers, but by all cable 270 00:18:34,435 --> 00:18:40,275 Speaker 1: subscribers in this country. Ninety million cable subscribers, three million 271 00:18:40,315 --> 00:18:43,835 Speaker 1: of them actually watch the swill on Fox. The other 272 00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:47,875 Speaker 1: eighty seven million still pay about a dollar seventy two 273 00:18:47,915 --> 00:18:50,915 Speaker 1: a month a little over twenty dollars a year that 274 00:18:51,075 --> 00:18:56,435 Speaker 1: goes to keeping Fox alive. That's one point seven billion 275 00:18:56,475 --> 00:19:00,595 Speaker 1: dollars a year we pay to not watch the crap 276 00:19:00,675 --> 00:19:05,715 Speaker 1: on Fox. Now, you can pick up the phone and 277 00:19:05,755 --> 00:19:08,195 Speaker 1: try to protest to your cable carrier about this, but 278 00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:11,875 Speaker 1: I do not know which number button to press, and 279 00:19:11,995 --> 00:19:14,315 Speaker 1: I don't have a spare forty eight hours to try 280 00:19:14,315 --> 00:19:17,995 Speaker 1: to do it telephonically. But more practically, there is a 281 00:19:17,995 --> 00:19:25,715 Speaker 1: website called unfoxm cable box dot com Unfox my cable 282 00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:30,075 Speaker 1: box one word, which will show you how to let 283 00:19:30,075 --> 00:19:33,195 Speaker 1: your cable provider that you know that you don't want 284 00:19:33,235 --> 00:19:36,715 Speaker 1: to underwrite the channel that cannot survive without those fees 285 00:19:36,755 --> 00:19:40,195 Speaker 1: of one point seven billion dollars from the people who 286 00:19:40,235 --> 00:19:45,395 Speaker 1: are paying to not watch it. Conveniently, something like half 287 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:49,195 Speaker 1: of the Fox subscriber contracts with the cable carriers are 288 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:53,275 Speaker 1: up for renegotiation in about the next twelve months. Of course, 289 00:19:53,315 --> 00:19:58,435 Speaker 1: there's a far simpler solution even than going to unfoxmbox 290 00:19:58,595 --> 00:20:03,275 Speaker 1: dot com. Join the cord cutters, go to streaming services, 291 00:20:03,675 --> 00:20:07,915 Speaker 1: leave cable carr altogether, keep your twenty dollars, and keep 292 00:20:07,955 --> 00:20:10,675 Speaker 1: it out of Rupert's pocket and keep all the other 293 00:20:10,715 --> 00:20:14,275 Speaker 1: money you've been giving the cable carriers. And step ten 294 00:20:15,195 --> 00:20:20,715 Speaker 1: is again simultaneously symbolic yet deeply meaningful. Whatever they call 295 00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:24,795 Speaker 1: their channel, you do not have to call it that 296 00:20:26,515 --> 00:20:34,155 Speaker 1: Fox nudes, Fox noise phone news, ft news, fake news, 297 00:20:34,195 --> 00:20:39,715 Speaker 1: fox news, whatever works. Call it that to your friends, 298 00:20:39,835 --> 00:20:44,395 Speaker 1: your family, online, on the street, talking to others, talking 299 00:20:44,395 --> 00:20:47,275 Speaker 1: to yourself. They can work in a million different ways. 300 00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:51,995 Speaker 1: In all of American history, virtually all of the bullies 301 00:20:52,235 --> 00:20:57,275 Speaker 1: of media, from Father Coglin to Walter Winchell to Bill O'Reilly, 302 00:20:57,955 --> 00:21:01,555 Speaker 1: lost their microphones, their pulpits, and their jobs. When one day, 303 00:21:02,155 --> 00:21:05,795 Speaker 1: years and years and years of mocker, he finally reached 304 00:21:05,795 --> 00:21:09,395 Speaker 1: a tipping point. Each of these people went to bed 305 00:21:09,395 --> 00:21:14,755 Speaker 1: one night as feared monarchs of their realms. The next 306 00:21:14,835 --> 00:21:19,435 Speaker 1: morning they woke up has beens, which brings us back 307 00:21:20,475 --> 00:21:24,835 Speaker 1: to Rudy Giuliani and one of his first evident bits 308 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:28,315 Speaker 1: of public corruption nineteen ninety six, the one by which 309 00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:33,515 Speaker 1: Fox quote news unquote was born. When people still took 310 00:21:33,635 --> 00:21:38,635 Speaker 1: Rudy Giuliani seriously, and stuff was not fitzing down his 311 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:42,155 Speaker 1: face at press conferences, and he hadn't gone to four 312 00:21:42,195 --> 00:21:48,675 Speaker 1: seasons landscaping yet and he hadn't been banned by Fox 313 00:21:48,795 --> 00:21:55,835 Speaker 1: quote news unquote, But no, this channel, this blight on mankind, 314 00:21:55,955 --> 00:21:59,235 Speaker 1: this threat to all of our freedoms, is not going 315 00:21:59,355 --> 00:22:19,675 Speaker 1: to destroy itself, but we can help. Still ahead of 316 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,955 Speaker 1: us in this initiative countdown. What the Justice Department decision 317 00:22:23,115 --> 00:22:26,315 Speaker 1: sure you can sue Trump for damages on January sixth, 318 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:30,995 Speaker 1: What that means and what it doesn't A true American 319 00:22:31,075 --> 00:22:34,675 Speaker 1: hero is saying goodbye. Daniel Ellsberg announces he is in 320 00:22:34,835 --> 00:22:39,635 Speaker 1: hospice care. Just when the New York Rangers Pride Night 321 00:22:39,675 --> 00:22:43,075 Speaker 1: fiasco story was beginning to calm down, it has reignited. 322 00:22:44,115 --> 00:22:47,035 Speaker 1: At It's Friday with Thurber and how the great writer 323 00:22:47,195 --> 00:22:50,835 Speaker 1: turned a handyman with a German accent into a terrifying 324 00:22:50,955 --> 00:22:55,915 Speaker 1: character who quote traffics with the devil the black magic 325 00:22:55,995 --> 00:23:06,675 Speaker 1: of Barney Holler ahead. That's next. This is countdown. This 326 00:23:06,875 --> 00:23:15,275 Speaker 1: is Countdown with Keith Olberman, my crazy friend. Both trips 327 00:23:15,315 --> 00:23:18,835 Speaker 1: to the news Tony. Some headlines, some updates, some snarks, 328 00:23:18,835 --> 00:23:23,315 Speaker 1: some predictions. Dateline the House Subcommittee on the Weaponization of Government. 329 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:26,235 Speaker 1: First came the news that Jim Jordan's little dog and 330 00:23:26,275 --> 00:23:29,315 Speaker 1: Pony Show had no staff and had been unable to 331 00:23:29,355 --> 00:23:33,035 Speaker 1: schedule any further hearings. Now CNN is reporting that the 332 00:23:33,235 --> 00:23:37,875 Speaker 1: quote dozens of FBI whistleblowers the subcommittee claims you've lined 333 00:23:37,955 --> 00:23:40,795 Speaker 1: up are actually a couple of guys who were suspended 334 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:44,275 Speaker 1: by the FBI for being at the Capitol on January sixth, 335 00:23:44,595 --> 00:23:47,875 Speaker 1: and three others whose claims have not been validated by 336 00:23:47,915 --> 00:23:52,995 Speaker 1: the government entities which grant federal whistleblower protection. One of them, 337 00:23:52,995 --> 00:23:57,835 Speaker 1: in fact, had his claim of whistleblower protection rejected. Another 338 00:23:57,995 --> 00:24:01,155 Speaker 1: is retired, and it's unclear if he has firsthand knowledge 339 00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:05,195 Speaker 1: or it's just repeating stuff he heard somewhere. And a 340 00:24:05,355 --> 00:24:08,875 Speaker 1: third is named George Hill, a retired FBI agent who 341 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:12,915 Speaker 1: last December tweeted, insurrection My ass it was a set up, 342 00:24:12,995 --> 00:24:15,995 Speaker 1: and sadly there's no shortage of idiots willing to take 343 00:24:16,035 --> 00:24:19,315 Speaker 1: de bait. He retweeted a comment that quote patriots were 344 00:24:19,315 --> 00:24:22,995 Speaker 1: the only ones trying to stop the fake insurrection violence 345 00:24:23,275 --> 00:24:29,355 Speaker 1: being committed by implanted Antifa Pelosi's buddies, So that would 346 00:24:29,395 --> 00:24:52,875 Speaker 1: be why there's no second hearing scheduled. Good work, Jim, 347 00:24:52,955 --> 00:24:56,075 Speaker 1: Thank you, Nancy Faust Dateline, the Department of Justice, to 348 00:24:56,355 --> 00:24:59,275 Speaker 1: US Capitol Police, and eleven Democratic members of the House 349 00:24:59,795 --> 00:25:04,435 Speaker 1: sued Trump for damages for injuries and trauma on January 350 00:25:04,435 --> 00:25:08,035 Speaker 1: six because he incited the violence. Trump claimed a president 351 00:25:08,075 --> 00:25:12,915 Speaker 1: has absolute immunity for anything he says while in office. 352 00:25:13,115 --> 00:25:15,515 Speaker 1: The court asked the Department of Justice for an opinion 353 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:18,675 Speaker 1: on whether or not the suit could continue. DJ now 354 00:25:18,715 --> 00:25:21,715 Speaker 1: says yes, it can. Quote. Speaking to the public on 355 00:25:21,835 --> 00:25:24,795 Speaker 1: matters of public concern is a traditional function of the presidency, 356 00:25:25,075 --> 00:25:28,395 Speaker 1: but the traditional function is one of public communication. It 357 00:25:28,435 --> 00:25:33,715 Speaker 1: does not include incitement of imminent private violence. So while 358 00:25:33,755 --> 00:25:37,075 Speaker 1: it's important and encouraging that the Justice Department believes a 359 00:25:37,155 --> 00:25:42,595 Speaker 1: president can be sued for and can be guilty of incitement, 360 00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:45,875 Speaker 1: it does not mean the Department thinks this one is 361 00:25:45,955 --> 00:25:52,075 Speaker 1: guilty of and day Line Berkeley. Things change faster than 362 00:25:52,075 --> 00:25:56,155 Speaker 1: you'll ever realize, And while once every culturally aware person 363 00:25:56,195 --> 00:25:59,795 Speaker 1: in this country knew of the Pentagon papers and Daniel Ellsberg, 364 00:26:00,195 --> 00:26:03,915 Speaker 1: it's less true today. Ellsberg, though, was a true hero 365 00:26:04,035 --> 00:26:08,155 Speaker 1: who copied thousands of pages of Pentagon documents over spans 366 00:26:08,195 --> 00:26:10,675 Speaker 1: of years and gave them to The New York Times, 367 00:26:10,675 --> 00:26:13,635 Speaker 1: Washington Post, and other newspapers at a time when the 368 00:26:13,675 --> 00:26:17,035 Speaker 1: government was still insisting the Vietnam War was being won, 369 00:26:17,195 --> 00:26:20,315 Speaker 1: or it could be the Pentagon paper is spelled out 370 00:26:20,355 --> 00:26:23,075 Speaker 1: that not only was that not true, but that the 371 00:26:23,155 --> 00:26:26,355 Speaker 1: Pentagon had known it was not true for years and 372 00:26:26,435 --> 00:26:29,755 Speaker 1: had been lying about that. Reminiscent in fact of Fox 373 00:26:29,835 --> 00:26:34,275 Speaker 1: quote News unquote and the Big Lie. Yesterday, Daniel Ellsberg, 374 00:26:34,355 --> 00:26:38,435 Speaker 1: whose ninety second birthday is April seventh, tweeted that last 375 00:26:38,475 --> 00:26:43,595 Speaker 1: month he was unexpectedly diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and 376 00:26:43,675 --> 00:26:46,235 Speaker 1: that he had been given three to six months to live. 377 00:26:46,955 --> 00:26:50,155 Speaker 1: Mister Ellsberg said he had decided against chemotherapy and was 378 00:26:50,235 --> 00:26:53,755 Speaker 1: preparing for hospice care. And the good news, he said, 379 00:26:53,915 --> 00:26:56,515 Speaker 1: was his cardiologist said, there's obviously no reason he has 380 00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:59,835 Speaker 1: to stick to his salt free diet now, and so 381 00:26:59,915 --> 00:27:02,235 Speaker 1: he is eating his favorite foods for the first time 382 00:27:02,275 --> 00:27:06,195 Speaker 1: in six years. I met an viewed Daniel Ellsberg once 383 00:27:06,235 --> 00:27:08,555 Speaker 1: and I told him to his face he was one 384 00:27:08,555 --> 00:27:11,955 Speaker 1: of my heroes and a true American patriot, and he 385 00:27:11,995 --> 00:27:15,915 Speaker 1: told me he watched Nightly typical of him. Daniel Ellsberg 386 00:27:16,355 --> 00:27:19,155 Speaker 1: was upbeat with this sad news. He wrote that when 387 00:27:19,195 --> 00:27:21,755 Speaker 1: he copied the Pentagon papers in nineteen sixty nine. He 388 00:27:21,835 --> 00:27:25,035 Speaker 1: expected he might spend the rest of his life in prison, 389 00:27:25,555 --> 00:27:28,755 Speaker 1: so he had no complaints. And he thanked those working 390 00:27:29,075 --> 00:27:32,355 Speaker 1: in anti war and anti nuclear movements, and he told 391 00:27:32,355 --> 00:27:51,835 Speaker 1: them to please keep going. Godspeed, Daniel Ellsberg. This is 392 00:27:52,275 --> 00:27:59,475 Speaker 1: Sports Center. Wait, check that not anymore. This is Countdown 393 00:28:00,115 --> 00:28:04,995 Speaker 1: with Keith Alberman in sports. You may recall but WIS 394 00:28:05,155 --> 00:28:08,715 Speaker 1: National Hockey League teams have screwed up their Pride Night 395 00:28:08,835 --> 00:28:12,355 Speaker 1: events this season, most notoriously at Madison Square Garden, where 396 00:28:12,395 --> 00:28:15,435 Speaker 1: the New York Rangers at the last moment decided against 397 00:28:15,475 --> 00:28:19,115 Speaker 1: wearing the warm up uniforms with numbering and lettering in 398 00:28:19,195 --> 00:28:22,675 Speaker 1: rainbow colors that they've worn at every other Pride Night 399 00:28:22,795 --> 00:28:27,435 Speaker 1: because an as yet unidentified Rangers player had objected. Now 400 00:28:27,595 --> 00:28:30,755 Speaker 1: the Rangers may have a bigger problem. Twitter account at 401 00:28:30,915 --> 00:28:35,675 Speaker 1: Rangers Trash identifies as a lesbian and the hockey watcher, 402 00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:38,555 Speaker 1: and is clearly from the tweets devoted to the New 403 00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:43,035 Speaker 1: York Rangers. Now, she writes, quote feels like the perfect 404 00:28:43,115 --> 00:28:46,435 Speaker 1: time to reveal that after the Pride Jersey fiasco, nyr 405 00:28:46,635 --> 00:28:51,515 Speaker 1: New York Rangers admin messaged me asking me to control 406 00:28:51,635 --> 00:28:57,275 Speaker 1: my quote contemporaries aka rightfully upset queer people. And then 407 00:28:57,355 --> 00:29:00,515 Speaker 1: she told me that actually homophobes are nicer than the 408 00:29:00,595 --> 00:29:04,515 Speaker 1: queer people who were upset unte This person then posted 409 00:29:04,715 --> 00:29:08,355 Speaker 1: screenshots of direct messages she attributes to Jill Eisnear the 410 00:29:08,435 --> 00:29:12,195 Speaker 1: Rangers social media person, which read quote, there are many 411 00:29:12,195 --> 00:29:15,315 Speaker 1: ways to express feelings without telling a social media manager 412 00:29:15,355 --> 00:29:20,275 Speaker 1: to f themselves. Would appreciate you clarifying that matter with 413 00:29:20,355 --> 00:29:24,155 Speaker 1: some of your contemporaries. To be totally honest, we get 414 00:29:24,155 --> 00:29:26,955 Speaker 1: a lot more disrespect from people who think they're on 415 00:29:26,995 --> 00:29:30,595 Speaker 1: the right or fair side of this argument than the homophobes. 416 00:29:31,315 --> 00:29:36,875 Speaker 1: Just something to think about, no contest either. Unquote. Now 417 00:29:36,915 --> 00:29:40,915 Speaker 1: it's just me here, but I would translate that as quote, 418 00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:43,835 Speaker 1: you're gay and I need you to get the other 419 00:29:43,875 --> 00:29:48,235 Speaker 1: gay people to behave Oh my god. The Rangers, and 420 00:29:48,315 --> 00:29:51,355 Speaker 1: as the world of sports on television continues to teeter 421 00:29:51,515 --> 00:29:54,915 Speaker 1: on bankruptcy, the AT and T regional networks the Bally 422 00:29:54,995 --> 00:29:58,195 Speaker 1: Sports networks could go out of business four weeks from today, 423 00:29:58,675 --> 00:30:00,955 Speaker 1: and yet the fan will still then have to struggle 424 00:30:00,955 --> 00:30:04,075 Speaker 1: to find the game he wants to watch somewhere across 425 00:30:04,115 --> 00:30:07,275 Speaker 1: an end a spectrum of cable networks and channels, and 426 00:30:07,355 --> 00:30:13,155 Speaker 1: broadcast networks and channels, and streams and websites. CNBC reports 427 00:30:13,195 --> 00:30:17,435 Speaker 1: that my alma mater has a plan. In a sourced story, 428 00:30:17,915 --> 00:30:22,755 Speaker 1: CNBC says ESPN has quote held conversations with major sports 429 00:30:22,835 --> 00:30:27,035 Speaker 1: leagues and media partners about launching a feature on ESPN 430 00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:30,915 Speaker 1: dot com. That it's ESPN app that will link users 431 00:30:30,995 --> 00:30:35,315 Speaker 1: directly to where a live sporting event is streaming. Unquote. 432 00:30:35,395 --> 00:30:38,715 Speaker 1: That's even if it's not a game being carried on 433 00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:43,515 Speaker 1: an ESPN network. Can't figure out where that Canucks Sharks 434 00:30:43,595 --> 00:30:46,715 Speaker 1: game is being televised or streamed, Well, you'd go to 435 00:30:47,035 --> 00:30:49,875 Speaker 1: ESPN and clicked on the game, and you'd be forwarded 436 00:30:49,915 --> 00:30:53,435 Speaker 1: to whichever site was carrying it. So it would become 437 00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:57,275 Speaker 1: a kind of TV guide or I could probably try 438 00:30:57,315 --> 00:30:59,475 Speaker 1: to find a reference newer than nineteen ninety kind of 439 00:30:59,755 --> 00:31:03,675 Speaker 1: drudge report of sports. Plus we could get an ESPN 440 00:31:03,755 --> 00:31:08,755 Speaker 1: promo for it, voiced by my high school classmate. Hi, 441 00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:14,635 Speaker 1: I'm Chris Boomer Berman. Watt can't find your game? Did 442 00:31:14,675 --> 00:31:16,755 Speaker 1: you have to go backpack, back, back back to six 443 00:31:16,835 --> 00:31:23,155 Speaker 1: different web sites? You know, dud or did your team's 444 00:31:23,235 --> 00:31:26,995 Speaker 1: regional network go bankrupt? Did it do the old Burt 445 00:31:27,475 --> 00:31:32,115 Speaker 1: be home by chapter bly Levin. We'll use our new 446 00:31:32,195 --> 00:31:35,675 Speaker 1: feature on ESPN plus plus plus and you could go, 447 00:31:36,075 --> 00:31:40,475 Speaker 1: oh the way to where the game is being streamed. 448 00:31:41,555 --> 00:31:45,475 Speaker 1: Soon will add current temperature and atmospheric conditions as well, 449 00:31:45,875 --> 00:32:04,435 Speaker 1: so you can say you're with me, whether you're with 450 00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:09,435 Speaker 1: me weather. Come on, I've known the guy fifty one years. 451 00:32:09,475 --> 00:32:13,835 Speaker 1: I can do an impression of them not having get 452 00:32:13,835 --> 00:32:17,195 Speaker 1: all honked off about it, and if he does, I'll 453 00:32:17,235 --> 00:32:18,795 Speaker 1: just show all the pictures from when we were in 454 00:32:18,875 --> 00:32:24,155 Speaker 1: high school together. You're with me? Whether I like to 455 00:32:24,195 --> 00:32:28,795 Speaker 1: think of this as an intellectual podcast Ahead Fridays with 456 00:32:28,875 --> 00:32:31,315 Speaker 1: Thurber and the Thurber character who had his own pet 457 00:32:31,435 --> 00:32:35,115 Speaker 1: thunder storm first time for the daily round of the Misgrants, 458 00:32:35,115 --> 00:32:38,795 Speaker 1: morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's worst 459 00:32:38,835 --> 00:32:43,995 Speaker 1: persons in word the Bronze. The Jacksonville Jaguars of the 460 00:32:44,075 --> 00:32:49,235 Speaker 1: National Football League They've Got Rats. The NFL Players Association 461 00:32:49,315 --> 00:32:52,395 Speaker 1: released a survey of thirteen hundred players, rating their working 462 00:32:52,435 --> 00:32:56,355 Speaker 1: conditions in eight different categories. Most of the categories dealt 463 00:32:56,395 --> 00:32:59,075 Speaker 1: with training and practice facilities, and the headline of this 464 00:32:59,115 --> 00:33:01,875 Speaker 1: story was to quote the survey. When asked what the 465 00:33:01,995 --> 00:33:04,475 Speaker 1: number one thing they want changed at their facility was, 466 00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:08,275 Speaker 1: the Jaguars player's answer was unanimous, get rid of the rats. 467 00:33:09,315 --> 00:33:12,155 Speaker 1: The Jags have a rat problem in their stadium and 468 00:33:12,835 --> 00:33:15,555 Speaker 1: at their practice facility, and for three or four weeks 469 00:33:15,595 --> 00:33:19,075 Speaker 1: during last season, the rats basically owned the locker room 470 00:33:19,155 --> 00:33:23,475 Speaker 1: and the laundry hampers. Speaking of which, the runner up, 471 00:33:23,595 --> 00:33:27,515 Speaker 1: Nick Dyer, press person for Barney Rubbell's body double, Congresswoman 472 00:33:27,595 --> 00:33:32,355 Speaker 1: Marjorie Trader Greene. CNN fact checking Maven Daniel Dale asked 473 00:33:32,435 --> 00:33:35,915 Speaker 1: this dire for a comment about Green's latest faux paw, 474 00:33:36,355 --> 00:33:38,875 Speaker 1: in which she blamed the fentanyl deaths of two people 475 00:33:38,915 --> 00:33:44,035 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty on Joe Biden, who was not president 476 00:33:44,115 --> 00:33:46,555 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one. Don't even in a government anywhere, 477 00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:50,395 Speaker 1: Dale writes that quote. DIYer responded by saying, lots of 478 00:33:50,435 --> 00:33:53,355 Speaker 1: people have died from drugs under Biden end quote. Do 479 00:33:53,395 --> 00:33:56,755 Speaker 1: you think they give an f about your bullshit? Fact checking? 480 00:33:58,315 --> 00:34:01,635 Speaker 1: Nick Dyer's Facebook page incidentally has a colorful illustration of 481 00:34:01,635 --> 00:34:08,755 Speaker 1: the phrase Jesus saves must be a different Jesus, but 482 00:34:08,875 --> 00:34:13,395 Speaker 1: our winner. Florida Governor ron de fascist. This is how 483 00:34:13,675 --> 00:34:18,035 Speaker 1: it all starts. Throughout history. De Santis has run the 484 00:34:18,115 --> 00:34:21,515 Speaker 1: state the way Huey Long used to run Louisiana, and 485 00:34:21,675 --> 00:34:25,355 Speaker 1: the even literal politicians in Florida now are trying to 486 00:34:25,395 --> 00:34:28,515 Speaker 1: emulate him. One proposed a bill that would make illegal 487 00:34:28,995 --> 00:34:32,955 Speaker 1: any political party that ever included support for slavery in 488 00:34:32,995 --> 00:34:36,555 Speaker 1: its platform, as the Antebellum Democratic Party did in the 489 00:34:36,595 --> 00:34:41,835 Speaker 1: eighteen fifties. Democratic Party would be illegal in Florida. Now, 490 00:34:42,035 --> 00:34:45,395 Speaker 1: State Senator Jason Brodure has introduced Bill one three one 491 00:34:45,555 --> 00:34:50,435 Speaker 1: six on information Dissemination. It would order bloggers who write 492 00:34:50,475 --> 00:34:55,595 Speaker 1: about DeSantis or other key state politicians to register with 493 00:34:55,715 --> 00:35:01,075 Speaker 1: the state government and meticulously report to the state government 494 00:35:01,315 --> 00:35:04,995 Speaker 1: how much they got paid and by whom or They 495 00:35:05,035 --> 00:35:07,875 Speaker 1: would face fines of up to twenty five hundred dollars 496 00:35:07,955 --> 00:35:12,915 Speaker 1: for each blog post they did not report to the government. Okay, 497 00:35:12,915 --> 00:35:16,755 Speaker 1: so this is by definition fascism, and not to put 498 00:35:16,955 --> 00:35:19,115 Speaker 1: to fine a point on it, but I think by 499 00:35:19,155 --> 00:35:23,355 Speaker 1: now it's fair to declare Florida a failed rogue state 500 00:35:23,435 --> 00:35:26,915 Speaker 1: and send in troops and bus loads of bureaucrats to 501 00:35:27,075 --> 00:35:30,835 Speaker 1: remove to Santis and storm stormtroopers and just run the 502 00:35:30,875 --> 00:35:35,715 Speaker 1: place until democracy can be restored in Florida, run the 503 00:35:35,795 --> 00:35:39,235 Speaker 1: proverbial small man in search of a balcony, to Santis 504 00:35:39,555 --> 00:35:57,795 Speaker 1: Today's worst person in the World, to the number one 505 00:35:57,835 --> 00:36:00,395 Speaker 1: story on the Countdown, and it's Fridays with Thurber. And 506 00:36:00,555 --> 00:36:05,795 Speaker 1: only occasionally did the great American humorist bend towards the supernatural. 507 00:36:06,515 --> 00:36:10,115 Speaker 1: Lots of Thurber's characters, like his fictionalized version of his 508 00:36:10,115 --> 00:36:13,915 Speaker 1: own mother, claimed to get messages from beyond the grave 509 00:36:13,955 --> 00:36:17,435 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but rarely did Thurber ever go 510 00:36:17,635 --> 00:36:21,595 Speaker 1: a cult in the first person. This is not true 511 00:36:21,595 --> 00:36:24,595 Speaker 1: in one of my all time favorites of his stories, 512 00:36:24,995 --> 00:36:28,635 Speaker 1: The Black Magic of Barney Holler, in which a slight 513 00:36:28,755 --> 00:36:32,075 Speaker 1: accent turns into something that is just right up against 514 00:36:32,115 --> 00:36:37,915 Speaker 1: the line of being actually a little scary, but still hilarious. 515 00:36:38,675 --> 00:36:44,395 Speaker 1: The Black Magic of Barney Haller by James Thurber. It 516 00:36:44,435 --> 00:36:46,435 Speaker 1: was one of those hot days on which the earth 517 00:36:46,675 --> 00:36:50,195 Speaker 1: is uninhabitable, even as early as ten o'clock in the morning, 518 00:36:50,675 --> 00:36:53,195 Speaker 1: even on the hill where I live, under the dark maples. 519 00:36:53,755 --> 00:36:56,795 Speaker 1: The long porch was hot, and the wicker chair I 520 00:36:56,835 --> 00:37:00,635 Speaker 1: sat in complained hotly. My coffee was beginning to wear off. 521 00:37:00,635 --> 00:37:03,955 Speaker 1: And with it the momentary illusion it gives that things 522 00:37:03,995 --> 00:37:08,635 Speaker 1: are right and life is good. There were sultry mutterings 523 00:37:08,635 --> 00:37:11,195 Speaker 1: of thunder. I had a quick feeling that if I 524 00:37:11,235 --> 00:37:15,675 Speaker 1: looked up from my book, I would see Barney Holler. 525 00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:20,555 Speaker 1: I looked up, and then there he was, coming along 526 00:37:20,595 --> 00:37:24,715 Speaker 1: the road, lightning playing about his shoulders, thunder following him 527 00:37:24,755 --> 00:37:31,195 Speaker 1: like a dog. Barney is, or was my hired man. 528 00:37:31,955 --> 00:37:36,395 Speaker 1: He is strong and amiable, sweaty and dependable, slowly and 529 00:37:36,595 --> 00:37:43,835 Speaker 1: heavily confident, but he is also eerie. He traffics with 530 00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:47,835 Speaker 1: the devil. His ears twitch when he talks, but it 531 00:37:47,875 --> 00:37:51,915 Speaker 1: isn't so much that as the things he says. Once 532 00:37:51,995 --> 00:37:54,315 Speaker 1: in late June, when all of a moment, sabers began 533 00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:57,755 Speaker 1: to flash brightly in the heavens and bowling balls rumbled, 534 00:37:58,155 --> 00:38:01,235 Speaker 1: I took refuge in the barn. I always have a 535 00:38:01,235 --> 00:38:03,035 Speaker 1: feeling that I am going to be struck by lightning, 536 00:38:03,235 --> 00:38:05,875 Speaker 1: and either riven like an old apple tree, or left 537 00:38:05,875 --> 00:38:08,115 Speaker 1: with a foot that aches in rainy weather and a 538 00:38:08,155 --> 00:38:13,595 Speaker 1: habit of fainting. These things happen. Barney came in not 539 00:38:13,675 --> 00:38:16,795 Speaker 1: to escape the storm to which he is or pretends 540 00:38:16,835 --> 00:38:21,795 Speaker 1: to be indifferent but to put the sigh the way. Suddenly, 541 00:38:21,835 --> 00:38:23,755 Speaker 1: he said the first of those things that made me, 542 00:38:23,995 --> 00:38:27,875 Speaker 1: when I was with him faintly creepy. He pointed at 543 00:38:27,915 --> 00:38:31,395 Speaker 1: the house. Once I say this boat come down to rock, 544 00:38:31,715 --> 00:38:35,515 Speaker 1: he said, it is phenomena like that of which I 545 00:38:35,555 --> 00:38:40,275 Speaker 1: stand in constant dread. Boats coming down rocks, people being teleported, 546 00:38:40,435 --> 00:38:43,315 Speaker 1: statues dripping blood, old regrets, and dreams in the form 547 00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:48,355 Speaker 1: of Luna moths fluttering against the windows at midnight. Of course, 548 00:38:48,395 --> 00:38:51,915 Speaker 1: I finally figured out what Barney meant, or what I 549 00:38:51,995 --> 00:38:55,715 Speaker 1: comforted myself with believing he meant something about a bolt 550 00:38:56,075 --> 00:39:00,995 Speaker 1: coming down, the lightning rod on the house, a commonplace, 551 00:39:01,035 --> 00:39:04,795 Speaker 1: an utterly natural thing. I should have dismissed it, but 552 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:08,435 Speaker 1: it had its effect on me. Here was a stolid man, 553 00:39:08,835 --> 00:39:12,315 Speaker 1: smelling of hay and leather, who talked like somebody out 554 00:39:12,315 --> 00:39:16,155 Speaker 1: of Charles Fort's books, or like a traveler back from 555 00:39:16,235 --> 00:39:20,915 Speaker 1: oz and all the time the lightning was zigging and 556 00:39:21,035 --> 00:39:25,235 Speaker 1: zagging around him. On this hot morning. When I saw 557 00:39:25,275 --> 00:39:28,675 Speaker 1: Barney coming along with his faithful storm trudging behind him, 558 00:39:28,795 --> 00:39:31,715 Speaker 1: I went back frowningly to my copy of Swan's Way. 559 00:39:32,435 --> 00:39:35,275 Speaker 1: I hope that Barney, seeing me absorbed in a book, 560 00:39:35,315 --> 00:39:40,155 Speaker 1: would pass by without saying anything I read. I myself 561 00:39:40,195 --> 00:39:42,915 Speaker 1: seemed actually to have become the subject of my book 562 00:39:43,315 --> 00:39:47,675 Speaker 1: A church a quartet, the rivalry between Francis the First 563 00:39:47,715 --> 00:39:51,035 Speaker 1: and Charles the Fifth. I could feel Barney standing looking 564 00:39:51,075 --> 00:39:54,675 Speaker 1: at me, but I didn't look at him this morning. 565 00:39:54,715 --> 00:39:58,795 Speaker 1: Bye and bye, said Barney. I go hunt grachu's indivudes. 566 00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:05,275 Speaker 1: That's fine, I said, and turned to pay age and 567 00:40:05,355 --> 00:40:08,955 Speaker 1: pretended to be engrossed in what I was reading. Barney 568 00:40:09,035 --> 00:40:11,995 Speaker 1: walked on. He had wanted to talk some more, but 569 00:40:12,035 --> 00:40:15,915 Speaker 1: he walked on. After a paragraph or two his words 570 00:40:15,995 --> 00:40:18,235 Speaker 1: began to come between me and the words in the 571 00:40:18,355 --> 00:40:23,715 Speaker 1: book by m By. I go hunt grotches into woods. 572 00:40:25,875 --> 00:40:28,475 Speaker 1: If you are susceptible such things, it is not difficult 573 00:40:28,475 --> 00:40:33,355 Speaker 1: to visualize grotches. They fluttered into my mind, ugly little 574 00:40:33,355 --> 00:40:36,795 Speaker 1: creatures about the size of whipper wheels, only covered with 575 00:40:36,835 --> 00:40:41,795 Speaker 1: blood and honey, and the scrapings of church bells. Grotches. 576 00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:47,875 Speaker 1: Who and what? I wondered, really was this thing in 577 00:40:47,915 --> 00:40:50,755 Speaker 1: the form of a hired man that kept anointing me 578 00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:57,835 Speaker 1: ominously In passing with abra cadabra. Barney didn't go toward 579 00:40:57,915 --> 00:41:00,675 Speaker 1: the woods at once. He weeded the corn, He picked 580 00:41:00,715 --> 00:41:04,395 Speaker 1: apple boughs off the lawn. He knocked a yellowjacket's nest 581 00:41:04,395 --> 00:41:07,515 Speaker 1: down out of a plum tree. It was raining now, 582 00:41:07,515 --> 00:41:09,955 Speaker 1: but he didn't seem to notice it. He kept looking 583 00:41:09,995 --> 00:41:11,435 Speaker 1: at me out of the corner of his eye, and 584 00:41:11,435 --> 00:41:12,955 Speaker 1: I kept looking at him out of the corner of 585 00:41:12,995 --> 00:41:17,315 Speaker 1: my eye. Vod dimes it bleaze, he called to me. Finally, 586 00:41:17,995 --> 00:41:20,155 Speaker 1: I put down my book and sauntered out to him, 587 00:41:20,995 --> 00:41:24,875 Speaker 1: when you go for those gratches, I said firmly. I'll 588 00:41:24,915 --> 00:41:27,995 Speaker 1: go with you. I was sure he wouldn't want me 589 00:41:28,035 --> 00:41:30,355 Speaker 1: to go. I was right. He protested that he could 590 00:41:30,395 --> 00:41:35,075 Speaker 1: get the gratches himself. I'll go with you, I said, stubbornly. 591 00:41:35,995 --> 00:41:38,635 Speaker 1: We stood looking at each other, and then, abruptly, just 592 00:41:38,675 --> 00:41:44,275 Speaker 1: to give him something to ponder over, I quoted, I'm 593 00:41:44,275 --> 00:41:47,435 Speaker 1: going out to clean the pasture spring. I'll only stop 594 00:41:47,475 --> 00:41:50,155 Speaker 1: to take the leaves away and wait to watch the 595 00:41:50,195 --> 00:41:53,875 Speaker 1: water clear. I may I shan't be gone long. You 596 00:41:54,235 --> 00:42:00,635 Speaker 1: come too. It wasn't, I realized, very good aberca dabra, 597 00:42:00,755 --> 00:42:05,035 Speaker 1: but it served. Barney looked at me in a puzzled way. Yes, 598 00:42:06,035 --> 00:42:10,195 Speaker 1: he said, vaguely, it's five minutes of twelve, I said, 599 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:13,555 Speaker 1: remembering he had asked, Then we go, he said, And 600 00:42:13,755 --> 00:42:16,075 Speaker 1: we trudged through the rain over to the orchard fence 601 00:42:16,115 --> 00:42:19,035 Speaker 1: and climbed that and opened a gate and went out 602 00:42:19,035 --> 00:42:21,875 Speaker 1: into the meadow that slopes up to the woods. I 603 00:42:21,955 --> 00:42:24,835 Speaker 1: had a prefiguring of Barney at some proper spot deep 604 00:42:24,875 --> 00:42:29,075 Speaker 1: in the woods, prancing around like a goat, casting off 605 00:42:29,115 --> 00:42:33,795 Speaker 1: his false nature, shedding his hired man's garments, dropping his 606 00:42:33,915 --> 00:42:41,715 Speaker 1: teutonic accent, repeating diabolical phrases, conjuring up grotches. It was 607 00:42:41,755 --> 00:42:45,195 Speaker 1: a great slash of lightning and a long bumping of thunder. 608 00:42:45,235 --> 00:42:47,555 Speaker 1: As we reached the edge of the woods, I turned 609 00:42:47,675 --> 00:42:52,115 Speaker 1: and fled, glancing over my shoulder, I saw Barney standing 610 00:42:52,155 --> 00:42:57,555 Speaker 1: and staring after me. It turned out, on the face 611 00:42:57,595 --> 00:42:59,995 Speaker 1: of it, to be as simple as the boat that 612 00:43:00,115 --> 00:43:06,355 Speaker 1: came down the rock. Grotches were crotches, crotch saplings, which 613 00:43:06,355 --> 00:43:09,115 Speaker 1: he cut down to use as supports under the peach bows, 614 00:43:09,395 --> 00:43:11,795 Speaker 1: because in bearing time they become so heavy with fruit 615 00:43:11,835 --> 00:43:14,915 Speaker 1: that there was danger of the branches snapping off. I 616 00:43:14,915 --> 00:43:18,595 Speaker 1: saw Barney later putting the crotches in place. We didn't 617 00:43:18,595 --> 00:43:21,275 Speaker 1: have much to say to each other. I can see 618 00:43:21,315 --> 00:43:28,035 Speaker 1: now that he was beginning to suspect me too. About 619 00:43:28,075 --> 00:43:30,955 Speaker 1: six o'clock next evening, I was alone in the house 620 00:43:30,955 --> 00:43:34,715 Speaker 1: and sleeping upstairs. Barney rapped on the door of the 621 00:43:34,755 --> 00:43:38,075 Speaker 1: front porch. I knew it was Barney because he called 622 00:43:38,195 --> 00:43:41,915 Speaker 1: to me. I woke up slowly. It was dark for 623 00:43:41,995 --> 00:43:46,715 Speaker 1: six o'clock. I heard rumblings and soft flickerings. Barney was 624 00:43:46,755 --> 00:43:49,675 Speaker 1: standing at the front door with his storm at heel. 625 00:43:51,195 --> 00:43:53,755 Speaker 1: I had the conviction that it wasn't storming anywhere except 626 00:43:53,755 --> 00:43:56,835 Speaker 1: around my house. There couldn't without the intervention of the 627 00:43:56,875 --> 00:43:59,555 Speaker 1: Devil or one of his agents, be so many lightning 628 00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:05,515 Speaker 1: storms in one neighborhood. I had been dreaming of Prost 629 00:44:06,355 --> 00:44:10,035 Speaker 1: and the church at Combre, and Madelans dipped in tea, 630 00:44:10,155 --> 00:44:13,195 Speaker 1: and the rivalry between Francis the First and Charles the fifth. 631 00:44:13,395 --> 00:44:16,635 Speaker 1: My head whirled and I didn't get up. Barney kept 632 00:44:16,675 --> 00:44:20,515 Speaker 1: on wrapping. He called out again. There was a flash 633 00:44:20,675 --> 00:44:23,875 Speaker 1: followed by a sharp splitting sound. Now I leaped up. 634 00:44:24,635 --> 00:44:27,155 Speaker 1: This time, I thought he is here to get me. 635 00:44:28,155 --> 00:44:32,435 Speaker 1: I had a notion that he was standing at the door, barefooted, 636 00:44:32,675 --> 00:44:34,955 Speaker 1: with a wreath of grape leaves around his head and 637 00:44:34,995 --> 00:44:38,595 Speaker 1: a wild animal's skin slung over his shoulder. I didn't 638 00:44:38,595 --> 00:44:44,155 Speaker 1: want to go down, but I did. He was as usual, solid, amiable, 639 00:44:44,355 --> 00:44:47,195 Speaker 1: dressed like a hired man. I went out onto the 640 00:44:47,195 --> 00:44:50,155 Speaker 1: porch and looked at the improbable storm now on in 641 00:44:50,195 --> 00:44:53,635 Speaker 1: all of its fury. This is getting pretty bad, I said, meaningly. 642 00:44:54,075 --> 00:44:58,635 Speaker 1: Barney looked at the rain placidly well. I said, irritably, 643 00:44:58,715 --> 00:45:02,715 Speaker 1: what's up? Barney turned his little squinty blue eyes on me. 644 00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:07,355 Speaker 1: We go to the addict now and become warbes? He said, 645 00:45:09,235 --> 00:45:13,155 Speaker 1: the hell we do? I thought to myself quickly. I 646 00:45:13,315 --> 00:45:17,515 Speaker 1: was uneasy. I was you might even say terrified, but 647 00:45:17,595 --> 00:45:19,955 Speaker 1: I determined not to show it. If he began to 648 00:45:20,035 --> 00:45:23,835 Speaker 1: chant incantations or to make obscene signs, or if he 649 00:45:23,875 --> 00:45:27,115 Speaker 1: attempted to sling me over his shoulder. I resolved to plunge, 650 00:45:27,195 --> 00:45:29,355 Speaker 1: ride out into that storm, lightning it all, and run 651 00:45:29,395 --> 00:45:32,435 Speaker 1: to the nearest house. I didn't know what they would 652 00:45:32,475 --> 00:45:34,755 Speaker 1: think at the nearest house when I burst in upon them, 653 00:45:34,875 --> 00:45:37,515 Speaker 1: or what I would tell them, but I didn't intend 654 00:45:37,515 --> 00:45:42,235 Speaker 1: to accompany this amiable looking fiend to any garrick and 655 00:45:42,355 --> 00:45:47,595 Speaker 1: become a warb I tried to persuade myself that there 656 00:45:47,635 --> 00:45:50,355 Speaker 1: was some simple explanation that warbes would turn out to 657 00:45:50,395 --> 00:45:53,795 Speaker 1: be as the innocuous as boats on rocks and gratches indiviudes. 658 00:45:54,475 --> 00:45:57,915 Speaker 1: But the conviction gripped me in the growling of the 659 00:45:57,995 --> 00:46:02,795 Speaker 1: thunder that here, at last was the moment when Barney 660 00:46:02,795 --> 00:46:07,235 Speaker 1: Holler or whoever he was, had chosen to get me. 661 00:46:08,395 --> 00:46:10,875 Speaker 1: I walked toward the steps that led to the lawn 662 00:46:11,275 --> 00:46:16,275 Speaker 1: and turned and faced him grimly. Listen, I barked. Suddenly. 663 00:46:16,395 --> 00:46:18,555 Speaker 1: Did you know that even when it isn't brillig I 664 00:46:18,595 --> 00:46:21,955 Speaker 1: can produce slythy tobes? Did you happen to know that 665 00:46:21,995 --> 00:46:25,035 Speaker 1: the mome Wrath never lived that could out grade me? Yeah? 666 00:46:25,035 --> 00:46:27,435 Speaker 1: And furthermore, I can become anything I want to. Even 667 00:46:27,435 --> 00:46:30,035 Speaker 1: if I were a warb, I wouldn't have to keep 668 00:46:30,075 --> 00:46:32,075 Speaker 1: on being one if I didn't want to. I can 669 00:46:32,155 --> 00:46:35,035 Speaker 1: become a playing card at will too. Once I was 670 00:46:35,075 --> 00:46:36,915 Speaker 1: the jack of clubs, only I forgot to say my 671 00:46:36,995 --> 00:46:42,195 Speaker 1: glasses off, and some guy recognized me. I. Barney was 672 00:46:42,235 --> 00:46:46,035 Speaker 1: backing slowly away toward the petunia box at one end 673 00:46:46,075 --> 00:46:49,715 Speaker 1: of the porch. His little blue eyes were wide. He 674 00:46:49,915 --> 00:46:53,035 Speaker 1: saw that I had him. I think I go now, 675 00:46:53,355 --> 00:46:56,595 Speaker 1: he said, and he walked out into the rain. The 676 00:46:56,715 --> 00:47:01,315 Speaker 1: rain followed him down the road. I have a new 677 00:47:01,395 --> 00:47:04,435 Speaker 1: hired man now. Barney never came back to work for 678 00:47:04,515 --> 00:47:07,795 Speaker 1: me after that day. Of course, I figured out finally 679 00:47:08,155 --> 00:47:10,475 Speaker 1: what he meant about the garrick and the wharves. He 680 00:47:10,515 --> 00:47:12,635 Speaker 1: had simply got horribly mixed up in trying to tell 681 00:47:12,715 --> 00:47:15,035 Speaker 1: me that he was going up to the garret and 682 00:47:15,195 --> 00:47:21,115 Speaker 1: clear out the wasps, of which I have thousands. The 683 00:47:21,235 --> 00:47:24,955 Speaker 1: new hired man is afraid of them. Barney could have 684 00:47:24,995 --> 00:47:27,355 Speaker 1: scooped them up in his hands and thrown them out 685 00:47:27,355 --> 00:47:32,435 Speaker 1: a window without getting stung. I am sure he trafficked 686 00:47:32,435 --> 00:47:36,115 Speaker 1: with the devil, but I am sorry I let him go. 687 00:47:49,955 --> 00:47:52,075 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. Count That has come to you 688 00:47:52,115 --> 00:47:55,235 Speaker 1: from the studios of the Old Woman Broadcasting Empire High Top, 689 00:47:55,395 --> 00:47:59,115 Speaker 1: it's headquarters in the Sports Capsule Building here in New York. 690 00:48:00,075 --> 00:48:03,435 Speaker 1: Here are our credits. Most of the music was arranged, 691 00:48:03,475 --> 00:48:07,035 Speaker 1: produced and performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Channel, 692 00:48:07,115 --> 00:48:10,795 Speaker 1: who are the Countdown musical directors. Produced by t Ko Brothers. 693 00:48:10,915 --> 00:48:14,835 Speaker 1: All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Channel. Guitars, bass, 694 00:48:14,915 --> 00:48:18,315 Speaker 1: and drums by Brian Ray. Another Beethoven selections have been 695 00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:21,995 Speaker 1: arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed. The sports music 696 00:48:22,195 --> 00:48:25,475 Speaker 1: is the Ulderman theme from ESPN two. It was written 697 00:48:25,555 --> 00:48:29,555 Speaker 1: by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Musical comments 698 00:48:29,595 --> 00:48:32,755 Speaker 1: by Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our 699 00:48:32,795 --> 00:48:36,395 Speaker 1: announcer today was Tony Kornheiser. Everything else is pretty much 700 00:48:36,435 --> 00:48:39,515 Speaker 1: my fault. So let's countdown for this the seven hundred 701 00:48:39,555 --> 00:48:43,075 Speaker 1: and eighty seventh day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup 702 00:48:43,075 --> 00:48:46,075 Speaker 1: against the democratically elected government of the United States. I 703 00:48:46,195 --> 00:48:50,235 Speaker 1: arrest him now while we still can. The next schedule 704 00:48:50,275 --> 00:48:53,235 Speaker 1: countdown is Monday, and until then, I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, 705 00:48:53,475 --> 00:49:15,795 Speaker 1: good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman 706 00:49:15,955 --> 00:49:20,435 Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, 707 00:49:20,595 --> 00:49:24,595 Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get 708 00:49:24,635 --> 00:49:25,555 Speaker 1: your podcasts.