1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:05,040
Speaker 1: Trigger warning. This episode contains content about suicide. If you

2
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,960
Speaker 1: are a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,280
Speaker 1: call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at one eight hundred

4
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,200
Speaker 1: two seven three eight two five five, or message the

5
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 1: Crisis text line at seven four one seven four to one.

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,600
Speaker 1: Both programs are free and provide confidential support. Twenty four

7
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:36,040
Speaker 1: to seven. Hi, guys, welcome to this episode of Keep

8
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,120
Speaker 1: It Positive, Sweetie, and today we're doing something a little different.

9
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,560
Speaker 1: I wiped it all off because I want you guys

10
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,640
Speaker 1: to get to know me, the real mean all right,

11
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,000
Speaker 1: So to get started, I am going to read This

12
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,440
Speaker 1: poem is entitled who am I?

13
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:52,360
Speaker 2: You ask?

14
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 1: I am made of all the people I've encountered, all

15
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 1: the things I've experienced. Inside I hold the laughter of

16
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,480
Speaker 1: my friends, the arguments of my parents, the chattering of

17
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,160
Speaker 1: young children, the warmth of kind strangers, and the bright

18
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:12,440
Speaker 1: night time stars. Inside they are stitching from cracked hearts,

19
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,800
Speaker 1: bitter words, from heated arguments, music that gets me through,

20
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,080
Speaker 1: and emotions I cannot convey. I am made from all

21
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:26,240
Speaker 1: these people, these moments, and the universe. That is who

22
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:30,840
Speaker 1: I am. So I thought we would do something a

23
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,760
Speaker 1: little different. I want you guys to know me. I

24
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,640
Speaker 1: know you see me on TV, you see what I

25
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,280
Speaker 1: allow you to see on my social media, But I

26
00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:42,160
Speaker 1: wanted to really draw you in, like literally, come have

27
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,319
Speaker 1: a seat with me on my couch, and I want

28
00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 1: to tell you about me and how I got to

29
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,720
Speaker 1: where I am today and the backstory of Christophiney that

30
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:54,800
Speaker 1: you guys may not know, all right, DeNora, they want

31
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,360
Speaker 1: to know. So I know you got some questions for me,

32
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,120
Speaker 1: and we just gonna get to danaity, gritty, amazing, I'm ready,

33
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:01,680
Speaker 1: all right.

34
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,440
Speaker 3: First of all, I think that there's something poetic about

35
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,639
Speaker 3: the fact that you wanted to wipe your makeup, and

36
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 3: I think that that's something that, as a public figure,

37
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:19,680
Speaker 3: is very interesting, because public figures feel safe hiding behind perfection, yes,

38
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:25,040
Speaker 3: and hiding behind you know, covering what you might perceive

39
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 3: as an imperfection. Why was it important for you to

40
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:34,440
Speaker 3: do this conversation in your realist rust Because.

41
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,320
Speaker 1: I want this conversation to be real and raw. I

42
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,080
Speaker 1: think that, like you said, a lot of times, celebrities

43
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:44,520
Speaker 1: feel more comfortable hiding behind makeup, and in that I

44
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,639
Speaker 1: want to just show my authentic self, show you guys,

45
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,120
Speaker 1: who I am? The ngatree just literally strip it all off.

46
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 1: And I felt like, what better way to do this

47
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,120
Speaker 1: than to take off all the makeup and really just

48
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,600
Speaker 1: show you guys who I am?

49
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,760
Speaker 2: Perfect? All right? Could he stay? Now? Let's get into it.

50
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:05,160
Speaker 3: Okay, that's the little funny name that I've given her,

51
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,880
Speaker 3: Kerry Stalli now, which is longer than crystals, So it

52
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 3: doesn't make sense for that's her day to me, y'all

53
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,560
Speaker 3: can't call her kitty Stallia. But tell me, I know,

54
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:19,320
Speaker 3: we know Martin, Tennessee a town of what ten thousand people?

55
00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,600
Speaker 3: What's growing up in a ton of ten thousand people?

56
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:22,840
Speaker 2: Like?

57
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,079
Speaker 1: You know what? I always say that Martin was such

58
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,880
Speaker 1: a small town that it gave me the most spaced

59
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,600
Speaker 1: to dream big. There wasn't a lot of noise, there

60
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,040
Speaker 1: was a lot of distractions. I was able to literally

61
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,720
Speaker 1: sit in that space and really just dream of a

62
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:47,040
Speaker 1: whole new world literally. And as a very young young girl,

63
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,520
Speaker 1: I had a very vivid imagination, and my parents they

64
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,400
Speaker 1: had me in the choir.

65
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,400
Speaker 2: I would do church plays.

66
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,400
Speaker 1: I was very active as a student, and it was

67
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,320
Speaker 1: just something about knowing that there was something bigger that

68
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,160
Speaker 1: God had for me.

69
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,360
Speaker 2: That was planning to me at a very young age.

70
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,080
Speaker 1: So I attribute a lot of my big dreaming to

71
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 1: growing up in a small town.

72
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,520
Speaker 4: But I hear small town, and this.

73
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,920
Speaker 3: Could be stereotypes, right, But I hear small town and

74
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,320
Speaker 3: I hear almost like limitations.

75
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:22,320
Speaker 1: Right.

76
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,839
Speaker 3: What is it about your upbringing or how you were

77
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:31,680
Speaker 3: surrounded that allowed you to dream outside of what you

78
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,520
Speaker 3: were exposed to?

79
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,159
Speaker 1: You know what, I was very limited. You know, we

80
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,200
Speaker 1: didn't have the private schools. We had good education, but

81
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,600
Speaker 1: we didn't have the resources that a lot of big

82
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,960
Speaker 1: cities had.

83
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,080
Speaker 2: I think that.

84
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:55,400
Speaker 1: Living there and the influence, the influence of television, the

85
00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 1: influence of magazines. I would watch music videos and Janet

86
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 1: Jackson performances and her Awards Show performances, and I'd watch

87
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:10,080
Speaker 1: her movies. I would watch Aliyah and I saw these women,

88
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:14,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to do that, Angela Bassett when

89
00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,640
Speaker 1: she was in how Stella got her groove back and

90
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,800
Speaker 1: waiting to exhale. These were women that I looked up

91
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,080
Speaker 1: to at a very young age, and I was very

92
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,200
Speaker 1: much influenced by them, and I knew that that was

93
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:30,080
Speaker 1: my window to something bigger than Martin, Tennessee. And when

94
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,800
Speaker 1: I would leave my house, all you see is a

95
00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:37,800
Speaker 1: lot of land, cows, horses, farms, corn. It was a

96
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,600
Speaker 1: very agricultural based city or town so to speak.

97
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,880
Speaker 2: It was definitely not a city town.

98
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,560
Speaker 1: And I really feel like media was my outlet, whether

99
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,479
Speaker 1: it was magazines in the grocery store that I would

100
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,400
Speaker 1: look through as my mom went through the cash out counter,

101
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,599
Speaker 1: or if it was me watching music videos when I

102
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:58,480
Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to.

103
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:00,640
Speaker 2: Watching TV.

104
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,159
Speaker 1: That really influenced me and showed me that there was

105
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,480
Speaker 1: more that the world had to offer.

106
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,159
Speaker 4: Back in the MTV days.

107
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can say that, for hours watching videos one

108
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,840
Speaker 3: on six in parts.

109
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,720
Speaker 1: And my dad he was very strict about the music

110
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,919
Speaker 1: that I listened to because he knew that that could

111
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,039
Speaker 1: it could either tarnish my behavior, and it was very

112
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,919
Speaker 1: music is still very impactful as we see in today's society,

113
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,520
Speaker 1: and it was as well then.

114
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,200
Speaker 2: So my dad would get mad.

115
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,520
Speaker 1: Anytime he came This is the funny part. He would

116
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,800
Speaker 1: get mad anytime he came home and I was watching

117
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:41,520
Speaker 1: BET and now.

118
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,320
Speaker 2: BT to Tyrony.

119
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,279
Speaker 4: Right now he's sitting down watching BET.

120
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,560
Speaker 2: Yep, you're right I should get on him.

121
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:52,240
Speaker 3: What did you ever feel like there was an ext

122
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,120
Speaker 3: growing up. Did you ever feel like there was an

123
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:59,080
Speaker 3: expectation for you to stay small town or or did

124
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:03,560
Speaker 3: everyone so encourage you to build a life for yourself

125
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,080
Speaker 3: that would allow you to leave, Because sometimes you know,

126
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,600
Speaker 3: I mean, it just depends on the environment your racing,

127
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 3: but sometimes you know you're expected like, no, you'll stay here,

128
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:17,800
Speaker 3: and you like you keep this sort of tradition if

129
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,880
Speaker 3: you're will of a small town family for generations to do.

130
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,320
Speaker 4: Where did you land on that side?

131
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:25,280
Speaker 2: Yeah?

132
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,080
Speaker 1: My parents always instilled in me to get a college

133
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 1: education so that you have something to fall back on

134
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,320
Speaker 1: and then you can do what you want to do

135
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:34,680
Speaker 1: on your own dime.

136
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:40,040
Speaker 2: They were not big risk takers. They were very calculated

137
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,800
Speaker 2: risk takers. They were like, Okay, we're going to do this.

138
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,640
Speaker 1: Get the education, get a good job, good health insurance,

139
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:51,280
Speaker 1: and sustain a nice lifestyle. And my childhood, you know

140
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,120
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Growing up, we had everything we wanted

141
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,440
Speaker 1: and my parents definitely pushed us to be active in

142
00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,480
Speaker 1: school and outside of school. But for me, I always

143
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,400
Speaker 1: knew it something more And when I was in college,

144
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,640
Speaker 1: I ended up getting an internship. I went to school

145
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,280
Speaker 1: in my hometown, and that was only because my parents

146
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,680
Speaker 1: would let me take my car. If I had known

147
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,120
Speaker 1: what I know now, then I would have sad, y'all

148
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,360
Speaker 1: can keep that car for the first year, and I

149
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,680
Speaker 1: would have went somewhere else. I think I would have

150
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,640
Speaker 1: definitely learned a lot more sooner if I had a

151
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,320
Speaker 1: left home instead of going to school in my hometown.

152
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,320
Speaker 1: But they didn't like hinder me or like try to

153
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,120
Speaker 1: talk me out of certain things. But I was always

154
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,720
Speaker 1: like a risk taker and I didn't care what anybody said,

155
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 1: Like if that's what I wanted to do, I was

156
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:39,320
Speaker 1: gonna do it. It matter if it was close where

157
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,960
Speaker 1: I wanted to go, whatever it was. If I felt

158
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,280
Speaker 1: like this is what I want to do, I'm gonna

159
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:45,480
Speaker 1: do it. My mom could be like, I don't like

160
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,960
Speaker 1: that outfit, and I would literally look at her and

161
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,440
Speaker 1: be like, I do wo like and keep going. I

162
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,319
Speaker 1: was always very I didn't care what other people thought.

163
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,559
Speaker 1: And it wasn't like in a smart ale like way.

164
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,440
Speaker 1: I was just very confident in my choices at a

165
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 1: very young age. And she was like she last at

166
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,320
Speaker 1: it now, she's like, didn't care. She was like, you

167
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,360
Speaker 1: don't like it, I do and it was like a

168
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,400
Speaker 1: self esteeming thing. It was like, I don't care what

169
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,080
Speaker 1: anybody likes, I don't care what other people doing.

170
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:08,840
Speaker 2: This is what I want to do. This is how

171
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,319
Speaker 2: I feel comfortable, and I'm going to do that.

172
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 4: What do you think that comes from?

173
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,679
Speaker 3: Because I would imagine that that's something that you were

174
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,360
Speaker 3: either taught or you indirectly learned. Where does that confidence

175
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,960
Speaker 3: as such a young age come from, to be like,

176
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,400
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do what I want to do, whether you

177
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,320
Speaker 3: like it or not, and I feel good in it.

178
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:31,480
Speaker 2: That's funny. I think it comes from a sense of rebellion.

179
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:32,360
Speaker 2: You know.

180
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:36,720
Speaker 1: I grew up in a household where my parents definitely

181
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:41,079
Speaker 1: want the best for me, but it was it wasn't

182
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:45,520
Speaker 1: always the most freethinking household. It was very like strict

183
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,440
Speaker 1: and you need to do this, and it was strict

184
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,280
Speaker 1: and circondars. There were some things they were being done

185
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,480
Speaker 1: and then other things it was like, no, you're not

186
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: doing this until you're out of our house because they

187
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,680
Speaker 1: were trying to protect me. But I think a part

188
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,920
Speaker 1: of that I'm going to do what I want and

189
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,280
Speaker 1: I like this. It was really me taking a sense

190
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 1: in my own independence and saying I've done it your

191
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,200
Speaker 1: way for all these years, this is what I like,

192
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,240
Speaker 1: and this is what I'm gonna do.

193
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,160
Speaker 4: So it was a strict household. Was it like a

194
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,319
Speaker 4: religious household?

195
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, very much. I grew up in the church.

196
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,640
Speaker 1: We were there every time the church doors opened, and

197
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,000
Speaker 1: it was we studied the Bible at a very young age.

198
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:31,160
Speaker 1: By the well I was in the second or third grade,

199
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,480
Speaker 1: I knew every book of the Bible.

200
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:32,640
Speaker 2: Like.

201
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,360
Speaker 1: It was that type of home upbringing where we were

202
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:41,080
Speaker 1: in the church and we studied the word. I feel

203
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 1: like the strictness really came from just like parents just

204
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,120
Speaker 1: not wanting something to happen to their daughter, you know,

205
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,319
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I know if I had kids now,

206
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,559
Speaker 1: like I don't even know if I want to bring

207
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 1: a child.

208
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,760
Speaker 2: Into this world because how crazy it is.

209
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,320
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine the feeling of something happening that I

210
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,839
Speaker 1: could have prevented, you know, if I was a parent.

211
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,360
Speaker 1: So as an adult, I totally get why they were

212
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,680
Speaker 1: the way they were. They were really just trying to

213
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,480
Speaker 1: do the best they could to protect me and keep

214
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,679
Speaker 1: me safe. But in some cases, as growing up, I

215
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,079
Speaker 1: had to learn lessons kind of late because I didn't

216
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,640
Speaker 1: get a chance to make those mistakes while I was

217
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:15,400
Speaker 1: still at home.

218
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,440
Speaker 3: So I know that that's how you see it in hindsight, Like, Okay,

219
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,080
Speaker 3: I can understand they were protected me, But how did

220
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:27,600
Speaker 3: eight nine, ten eleven, twelve year old Crystal experience that strictness?

221
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:30,760
Speaker 4: Maybe were getting deep?

222
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,040
Speaker 2: We are getting deep? You said, I just crossed my arm.

223
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,400
Speaker 2: It was like, is that an act of rebellion? As

224
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 2: an act of like?

225
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:47,000
Speaker 1: Oh, eight nine year old Crystal was definitely afraid of

226
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:56,160
Speaker 1: making mistakes, afraid of getting in trouble, afraid of reprimand,

227
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:03,520
Speaker 1: And I definitely didn't see it as I feel like

228
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,199
Speaker 1: it was like, gosh, I can't do anything.

229
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,079
Speaker 2: You know at that age, I didn't understand it.

230
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,200
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of things that parents do

231
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:25,480
Speaker 1: is what they were taught and what they saw. Oh good,

232
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,760
Speaker 1: some of the things that you know they were just

233
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,000
Speaker 1: doing their best. Still like haunt you as an adult

234
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:45,080
Speaker 1: and you're torn with like if they hadn't been that

235
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 1: heart of me, would I be who I am today?

236
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 1: Or am I still battling with things because of how

237
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,160
Speaker 1: I was raised?

238
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,560
Speaker 3: Ten years share with us you feel comfortable, and I've

239
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,440
Speaker 3: shared it with us what's one of the things that

240
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,080
Speaker 3: you're battling with because of how.

241
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 2: You were raised.

242
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:12,000
Speaker 1: It was just the the way I was disciplined, you know.

243
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:18,319
Speaker 1: Sometimes I just felt like it was harsh and unwarranted

244
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:26,120
Speaker 1: at times. Another Bible says spare the rides for the child.

245
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 1: So it's like, to what extent do you spare the ride?

246
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,920
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I don't know.

247
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,000
Speaker 4: It sounds like you grew up with a lot of fear.

248
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:41,920
Speaker 2: I did.

249
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,480
Speaker 1: I did, and it was like, it's crazy. And this

250
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:52,360
Speaker 1: is where I guess tricky because if you looked from

251
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:57,360
Speaker 1: the street view of my upbringing, you'd have been like

252
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,640
Speaker 1: this girl, I want for nothing, like this is a

253
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,600
Speaker 1: happy family, beautiful family.

254
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,800
Speaker 2: But there were.

255
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 1: There were generational curses that bled into my generation when

256
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,160
Speaker 1: it was time for me to be raised and things

257
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:32,360
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to unlearn and forgive and forget, you know,

258
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:37,840
Speaker 1: that are really hard to and as an adult, you

259
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:43,680
Speaker 1: try to be empathetic to your parents because you know

260
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:49,360
Speaker 1: that they were only doing what they were taught, you know,

261
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 1: So it's like a it's a double edged sword where

262
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,200
Speaker 1: you're trying to understand, like I know you were the

263
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,960
Speaker 1: way you were because of how your parents were to you,

264
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,720
Speaker 1: and that's all you knew. You were doing the best

265
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:05,760
Speaker 1: you could. But now I'm fucked up, like I can't

266
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,160
Speaker 1: you know, I'm saying, I can't like put it in

267
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:12,360
Speaker 1: any better way than that.

268
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 3: There's a beautiful dichotomy there, because there's the crystal that

269
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 3: grew up with so much fear, but there's also the

270
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,680
Speaker 3: crystal that rebelled.

271
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 2: And yeah, no, seriously, so how do the two coexist?

272
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 1: You know? I almost fear like the fearlessness was a

273
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 1: defense mechanism, you know, to show that like I am

274
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,680
Speaker 1: not this fearful little girl. I can do anything I

275
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,760
Speaker 1: want to do and I don't have to be scared

276
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,360
Speaker 1: of make mistakes, you know. And it got to a

277
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:57,440
Speaker 1: point where and I still struggle with perfection, being a

278
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,600
Speaker 1: perfectionist to this day, because I want to make sure

279
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 1: everybody's happy out. I want to make sure I please

280
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,760
Speaker 1: everybody out. I want to get in trouble, like to

281
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,600
Speaker 1: this day, I like even with work, like people made

282
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,480
Speaker 1: fun of me because I'm always like you want to

283
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 1: run it?

284
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 2: I want to. I just want to make sure I

285
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:12,320
Speaker 2: know everything.

286
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 1: I want to be on par I want to have

287
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,480
Speaker 1: everything memorized, and it's because I don't ever want to

288
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,440
Speaker 1: let anybody down. I want to make sure like I'm

289
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: hitting my mark every in every part of my life.

290
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,680
Speaker 1: And as a child, like I just I wanted to

291
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,240
Speaker 1: make sure I did everything right. But I wasn't doing

292
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 1: anything right, and that's why I would get in trouble.

293
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 1: And it got to a point where it felt like

294
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 1: sometimes like nothing was good enough, you know.

295
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 2: But I say that, and in the same breath.

296
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 1: I say that I had a great childhood, like there

297
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 1: was nothing that I wanted that I didn't get. Two

298
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,720
Speaker 1: parent household, beautiful homes. My dad built every house we

299
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:57,360
Speaker 1: lived in brand new cards sixteen, like everything a kid

300
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 1: would want, Like I had that saying class president, class

301
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,240
Speaker 1: favorite of every year. I was in the yearbook for

302
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 1: class favorite for middle school through high school, in student council, captain, cheerleader,

303
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:16,160
Speaker 1: like I was all those things, but it was times

304
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:21,879
Speaker 1: where I didn't want to be alive.

305
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 3: It sounds like that was a lot of pressure because

306
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,239
Speaker 3: it sounds like you were always performing.

307
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 2: Which is why I'm so good at what I do now.

308
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,120
Speaker 3: That sounds like a lot of pressure for little girl.

309
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 2: It's a lot of pressure and I am.

310
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,400
Speaker 1: I remember like sitting in my room listening to Kirk

311
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,399
Speaker 1: Franklin told me now and I still isn't test on

312
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:58,199
Speaker 1: the day and it makes me weak because I just

313
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 1: I was like, this is too much. I can't take it.

314
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 1: And I see how people can how I can look

315
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,639
Speaker 1: so perfect from the outside, and like you want to like,

316
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 1: how do they kill themselves? And I'm like, I get that,

317
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:21,119
Speaker 1: you know. And I've never talked about this out loud

318
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 1: to people, and I think the only reason I feel

319
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,159
Speaker 1: contal sharing it now.

320
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 2: Is because if I had an acted on.

321
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 1: Those impulses, there would be no Christopherine Hazlet, and the

322
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 1: life that everybody sees wouldn't exist, you know. And I

323
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 1: know there's people that are hurting and that are fighting

324
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 1: with these same feelings and impulses to just end it

325
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 1: all because they feel like it's.

326
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 2: Just too much. It's too much.

327
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 1: But I just want people to see that the person

328
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: that they just like look up to and admire so

329
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 1: much has been there and I got through it, still

330
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,359
Speaker 1: getting through it.

331
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 2: And working through it.

332
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 3: You know, how do you soothe that little girl, because

333
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 3: that little girl never leaves, she never that little girl

334
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 3: never leaves.

335
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 2: She doesn't you know what?

336
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 1: Oftentimes I I look at how gracious God has been,

337
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 1: the things that he brought me through, how he protected me,

338
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,879
Speaker 1: and everything that I went through made me stronger, and

339
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 1: it's in a way, it was like a hazing you

340
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: know how like you you have like sorotes and maraternities

341
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: where they like they break you down so that when

342
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 1: you you go out in this world, nobody is like,

343
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: there's nothing you can say to me that's gonna tear

344
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 1: me down because I already been torn.

345
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 2: Down, like you, what are you gonna do?

346
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: Like?

347
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 2: And that's just I feel like that's what it.

348
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 1: Was in some instances where I was just like, this

349
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 1: is just too much for a little girl to take.

350
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 2: Do you? I know this?

351
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 3: But I don't know if the world knows this that

352
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 3: you lost your mom at a ridy young age. Are

353
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 3: you comfortable talking about that about your mom?

354
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, my mother.

355
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: And dad they actually met in college.

356
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:54,199
Speaker 2: They had me, they got married, and it was I

357
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 2: was two years old.

358
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: She had a brain aneurysm and it just left me

359
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 1: and my dad by ourselves, And to this day, my

360
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 1: dad doesn't really talk about it. My cousin once told me,

361
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 1: he said, you were in bed, and your mom was

362
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,360
Speaker 1: there and she wasn't answering the phone. And that's how

363
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 1: my dad found me with my mother dad next to me.

364
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 2: And there are so.

365
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 1: Many times in my life I wonder how life would

366
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 1: have been if she was still here. You mean, you wonder,

367
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: like God, why did you take her away at such

368
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: a young age?

369
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 2: Like why can't have gotten to know her? You know?

370
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 1: And it it hurts, but I can't imagine what it

371
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 1: would hurt like if I did actually get to know

372
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: her and have that real connection. But like people have

373
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 1: come up to me and say that I remind them

374
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:56,879
Speaker 1: of her, and that makes me happy that like people

375
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 1: see me and her.

376
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 2: Or see her in me.

377
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,679
Speaker 3: Did you ever experience I know that you grew up

378
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 3: in a household that was.

379
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 4: Both religious and spiritual.

380
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 3: Did you ever experience anger at God like feeling that

381
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: you robbed me of an experience with a mom like

382
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 3: to that.

383
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 2: There were times where I was like God, why did

384
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,199
Speaker 2: you take her away? Absolutely?

385
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 1: I wondered why why he did that? Why I had

386
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: to go through the things I did as a child,

387
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: because I don't think my mom would have done that.

388
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: I would have done what like raised me the way

389
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 2: I was raised.

390
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, how do you feel that not having been raised?

391
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: Because you you still absolutely And I don't want to

392
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: take nothing away from Right, that's my mom, Like, that's

393
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 1: the only person I know, like from She married my

394
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: dad when I was five years old. So I don't

395
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 1: want to take anything away from her because she did

396
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: step into that role.

397
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 2: And I want to be.

398
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: Very careful not to bash her or disrespect her because

399
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 1: I know she just did what she thought was best.

400
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

401
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: I have to be honest with myself when it comes

402
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: to that. But at the same time, I have to

403
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 1: also be honest with how it affected me.

404
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

405
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: I can't just be like, oh, I know that this

406
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 1: you only did what you thought was best and you

407
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,640
Speaker 1: were just repeating what was done.

408
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 2: To you or what you saw.

409
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,679
Speaker 1: I still have to hold it accountable to like how

410
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 1: it affects me and what I need to do to

411
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: like stop it from continuing. I have to break the

412
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 1: cycle and break the curse, so to speak.

413
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,959
Speaker 4: So is that one area of your life where you

414
00:23:59,040 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 4: feel that.

415
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: Maybe the lesson here is this is the storm where

416
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 3: you perfect your forgiveness.

417
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 2: Wow, the storm where I perfect my forgiveness. That's good.

418
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a in a space in

419
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: my life now where I am rethinking the circumstances, you know,

420
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: and looking at it through a different less.

421
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 2: Even though it still brings you to tears.

422
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: Just rethinking a lot of things and understanding that I'm

423
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: not a victim, you know, and also knowing that people

424
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 1: haven't really been through some messed up stuff worse than

425
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: what I've been through. And we'll look at my story

426
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: and be like, girl, please, what were we talking about?

427
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 2: This was done to me?

428
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 1: And it's like you look at that and like do

429
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: I even like really have anything to talk about.

430
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 2: But I know that if if I were to have kids,

431
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: I would do it different.

432
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 5: Mm. Yeah, Before we shift gears, I'm curious, what would

433
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 5: Crystal today tell.

434
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 4: That little girl?

435
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 2: Oh, Crystal today.

436
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 1: Would tell that little girl, Baby girl, don't worry. Everything

437
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: that you ever dreamed of is gonna happen. You are

438
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: going to be the one that carries a legacy. You

439
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: gonna be the one that the world sees, You, gonna

440
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: be the one that people look to. And everything that

441
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 1: you're feeling right now because you live somebody else, it's

442
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: gonna live.

443
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 4: Wow, that's powerful. I believe choose the future.

444
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 2: Listen, Christy like, no, I can't hear what Okay, okay.

445
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 1: Probly future teach the world som and so.

446
00:26:48,760 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 4: Give them motions the children. Oh.

447
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 3: You know what I love about your story, and this

448
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: is a good segue into that, is that every single year,

449
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 3: it's almost like he trusted you with this. You stored

450
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 3: it over it properly, that he went like this, and

451
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 3: then you stored it over it properly, and then he

452
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 3: went larger, and then he stored it over properly, and then.

453
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 2: He went larger.

454
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I think it's I think we should

455
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: tell people a little bit about your backstory. Because you

456
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 3: graduated college, you moved to d C start working for

457
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: the US Senate.

458
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I interned.

459
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: For the US Senate my junior year in college. My

460
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: senior year, they called me and said, hey, we have

461
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: a position open. We want you to come back to

462
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: d C. So my parents were like, yeah, that's a

463
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 1: great job benefits.

464
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 2: I said yeah, They're like go.

465
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: So I moved to Washington and worked on Capitol Hill.

466
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: I was a legislative correspondent for the Help Committee, which

467
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: said for health education, labor and pensions. I worked for

468
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:14,239
Speaker 1: Senator Lamar Alexander, my senator from Tennessee, and it was

469
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 1: definitely I feel like DC is where I found myself.

470
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: Like I literally found myself in DC. Like my personality,

471
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 1: my sense of style, I feel like I all that

472
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: kind of like came together when I moved to DC

473
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: and from there I worked for two years, two and

474
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: a half years on the on the Senate and something

475
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,400
Speaker 1: one that I j is just like I was sitting

476
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: behind the desk and it was something was like what.

477
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 2: Are you doing? M And I was like I don't know,

478
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 2: why are you sitting behind this desk?

479
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: Like you know, this is not what you're called to do,

480
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 1: and we had just I had It's funny because when

481
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: President Obama was running, he was in Senate first and

482
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: he was running for president. I had an opportunity to

483
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: go work on his campaign, but.

484
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 2: I ended up not leaving. I was like, I'm not

485
00:28:58,680 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 2: gonna leave you.

486
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: And go do that because the senator, Senator Alixanda was like,

487
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 1: what we gotta do to keep you? So I was like,

488
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: hey me, I hate so I got what I wanted

489
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: and I ended up staying with him, and sure enough

490
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 1: Obama won presidency and I couldn't be working in the

491
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: White House. But that wasn't my it wasn't my journey.

492
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,959
Speaker 1: So I told him, I said, hey, I want to

493
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: move to Atlanta. I'm gonna go pursue music and acting.

494
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: And he knew I could sing, and he was like,

495
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: I support that wholeheartedly.

496
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: He was like go, and he was like I wish

497
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 2: you well.

498
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: He said, just don't forget about it when you get famous.

499
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: And I was like okay, And I moved to Atlanta.

500
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: I didn't have anything. My uncle let me stay in

501
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: his room.

502
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 3: Before you continue, though, that decision and courage doesn't happen overnight.

503
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: It doesn't.

504
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: It's that decision does not happen overnight. It's a it's

505
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: sitting in a season of uncomfortableness knowing that, and it's

506
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: that uneasiness of knowing I'm not doing what I was put.

507
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 2: On earth to do.

508
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: And you sit there long enough, it's gonna s really

509
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: start eating away at you. And it got to the porto.

510
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't do this. I gotta take

511
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: a leap of faith and figure it out. And I

512
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: had some amazing people in my corner. They were very supportive, like, Okay,

513
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: come on this what you wanna do, We're gonna support it.

514
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: Have people in the music industry they're like, when you

515
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: get here, we got you. My uncles like you can

516
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 1: stay in my spare room.

517
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 2: You're good. And I did that and it was the

518
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: hardest year.

519
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: Of my life. It was just a lot of like,

520
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: did I make the right decision?

521
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 2: Lord?

522
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: I know you didn't bring me here for no reason,

523
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: but what's happening? And I got end up getting a

524
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: job at the complex ran by Divine Stevens, who was

525
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: a choreographer, usher and many other people super talented guy.

526
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: I always find myself around what I wanna do. So

527
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: he had an artist development since dance studios, salon and

528
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: a gym in one place, and I worked at the

529
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: front desk Word then he had a studio he found

530
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: Lady Guy. Guy worked with Acon, found an Acon and

531
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: signed him. And he was also somebody who helped me

532
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 1: through that time and really trying to navigate Atlanta. And

533
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: when I first moved here, and I just kept hitting

534
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 1: nose after nose. I started doing background work for movies

535
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: because I wanted to get my foot in the door

536
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: with that, and I started making some connections with never

537
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: booking anything, and.

538
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 2: I ended up working getting.

539
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 1: A job as a PA at Tyler Perry Studios in

540
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: twenty twelve, and.

541
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: I was.

542
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 3: Tell us a little bit about what a PA is,

543
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 3: because I think people really need to understand.

544
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: Yes, like what a productions Yes, a production assistant is

545
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: the person that just does anything that the production needs.

546
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: I was assigned to the department, so that entailed going

547
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: to get the designer's breakfast every morning, getting there before

548
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: they did. I would do all the product placement for

549
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: the show. I was one making the phone calls Colin

550
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: Levi saying, Hey, yes, I'm working on a show, new

551
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: show produced by Oprah Winfrid and Tyler period. We wanted

552
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: to know if you guys could send us some clothes

553
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: for our actors, because a lot of times you save

554
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,959
Speaker 1: your budget by getting product placement by different companies. And

555
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: I did that. I would go run their and I

556
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 1: would fly close the set. Basically, you're there to do

557
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: whatever they need you to do. There's no like I'm

558
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: coming to work and this is what I do. No,

559
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: you do whatever we need you to do. And it

560
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: was not a glamorous job. It literally I went from.

561
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 2: Making a great living to I think it was like five.

562
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: Hundred dollars a week. It was something like crazy, Yeah,

563
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 1: a major adjustment and pay and lifestyle. But I knew that, like,

564
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: I'm around what I want to be around, and guys

565
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: gonna make away. So I did that for three months

566
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: and I got promoted to dressing the background. I dressed

567
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: background for I think a year, and then I got

568
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: promoted to dressing the main actors and from there, like

569
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: I was actually on set, so I was able to study.

570
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: I would watch the monitor and I would pay attention

571
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: to their clothes, but then I was watching. I was

572
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: studying their acting and their reactions and the timing, and

573
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: it was lily like being in a masterclass and getting

574
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: paid for it. And I was like this when I'm

575
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: making good money, when I want to say costumers made

576
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: pretty good money. And that's when things started to shift

577
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: and Tyler took a liking to me. And I had

578
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: went to work on a movie with Jamie Fox, Gabrielle Union,

579
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: and Ti and I got a call from Tyler Perry

580
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,719
Speaker 1: Studios and it was the president at the time. He said, Hey,

581
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: I'm calling because Tyler wants you to a costume design,

582
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: the upcoming movies and our upcoming shows. And I said me,

583
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: and this time, I'm starting to get called back. So

584
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 1: I'm still grinding the whole time. Even when I was

585
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: consuming and PA and all that stuff, I was during lunch,

586
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: I would get auditions. I would run downstairs, tape them,

587
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 1: run back upstairs eat.

588
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 2: It was a constant grind.

589
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: I was actively pursuing what I wanted to do while

590
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: I was working, and a lot of people don't want

591
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 1: to do that. A lot of people think that it

592
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: just happens overnight and they're like, well, I just want

593
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 1: to do this. No, you gotta work while you trying

594
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 1: to do what you want to do, and it's not

595
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: always easy.

596
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: It was exhausting.

597
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: Like I would literally be on set behind the scenes

598
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 1: trying to learn lines for audition. I need to get

599
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 1: on tape to get back up to work, and it

600
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: was like go go.

601
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 2: Go, go go. And I had.

602
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: Auditioned for a few rolls at the studio, never got them.

603
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: And when Tyler called me to do that, I was like,

604
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: I thought he had seen my auditions and I was like, damn,

605
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,439
Speaker 1: he must not think I can act. So I really

606
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 1: was kind of like them, Okay, maybe I do need

607
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:55,959
Speaker 1: to think of another career choice. So I prayed about

608
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: it and I took the position, and then shortly after that,

609
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: I got another CA asking me to be his stylish

610
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: or help revamp his closet, and then that turned into

611
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 1: being his stylist for five years. And at that point

612
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: I made a conscious choice to not audition for anything,

613
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: to solely focus on Tyler because being Tyler's a big mogul,

614
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: like his life and the things he has going on

615
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: is like a twenty four hour job. So I had

616
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:26,240
Speaker 1: to dedicate everything to him for those years. And fast

617
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 1: forward to twenty nineteen, sisters came about we're having a

618
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: conversation and he was like you can be a part

619
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: of it.

620
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 2: And I was like, well in what way? And he

621
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 2: was like, you can produce it.

622
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 1: I was like hey, cause I was already costume design

623
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: and everything he did. And I was like, okay, cool,

624
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 1: so I'll costume design and produce it. Great, still not

625
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: thinking I'm ready to tap back into acting. As the

626
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 1: script start coming out, I'm like, these are my stories,

627
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: this is my life. Oh my gosh, Like this is it.

628
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 1: I was like, this is the moment, this is now.

629
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: This is when I need to say, hey, Tyler, I

630
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: want to act. So I got the courage to do it,

631
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 1: and we talked about it and he was like, I

632
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 1: got something for you. It's gonna be a small role,

633
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,319
Speaker 1: and what you do with it is on you. She

634
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 1: can stay smaller, she can go as big as you

635
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: wanted to.

636
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 2: And I looked at that. Man, I said, I will

637
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 2: not let you down.

638
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: And to see that, like Fatima came on to the scene,

639
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: nobody knew her name. She was Andy's assistant season one,

640
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: and then she ended up running it, literally running into

641
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: Zach and the two of them and their relationship began

642
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 1: to bud and the audience just.

643
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 2: Fell in love with them.

644
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: And I remember this day clear as day. We were

645
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: sitting on Fatima's bed. Tyler walks in. We're on the set.

646
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 1: Zach and I deval and Tyler stops and he looks

647
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: at us and he goes, I like this and just

648
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: walked away.

649
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 2: And we were like, what does that mean? And I

650
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 2: was like, we're gonna get her show. He's like, I

651
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 2: feel it. I feel it, Crystal.

652
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: They love us, and I was like, man, I don't know.

653
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: And sure enough, a year later, We're hearing chatter among

654
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 1: the crew and they.

655
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 2: Were like, it's the team is the teams Coming's the

656
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 2: team is coming.

657
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: We were like what They're like, it's on the production schedule,

658
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: it's on the calendar.

659
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 2: We were like, oh my god.

660
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: And Tyler came to my birthday and he gave a

661
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: beautiful speech about when you honor another man's God will

662
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: bless you. And somebody came up to Tyler and said,

663
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: you really gonna give Chrystal her own show? And he said,

664
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: the girl gave me five years of her life. You

665
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 1: think I'm not gonna bless her? And that's the heart

666
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: of Tyler Perry.

667
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: He once he.

668
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 1: Realized that's what I wanted to do and saw how

669
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: I served him and never said anything. And I'm talking

670
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: about I gave that man one hundred and fifty percent every.

671
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 2: Day, like whatever he needed, I was there.

672
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 1: And that's not the the service that she usually give

673
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: from somebody who has another dream. And he saw that

674
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: and he was like, I would have never known that's

675
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: what she wants to do. And if I hadn't say anything,

676
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: I would probably still be style in Tylerant, you know,

677
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: making a great living.

678
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: Because Tyler Perry tastes care of his people. Thank you, talent.

679
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: I always say thank you Jesus and Tyler period, thank

680
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: you for being a vessel, because he is.

681
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,399
Speaker 2: He's a man of God.

682
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: He has a big heart, and he's changed so many

683
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: lives and he definitely changed mind and encouraged me every

684
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: day to dream bigger and even to this day, like

685
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,240
Speaker 1: some days what I think is big. He was like, girl,

686
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 1: you are not thinking big enough.

687
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 3: As a Christian. What I love about that story is

688
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 3: that you, like all I hear is that you were

689
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 3: in a preparation season. Not to you and perhaps for

690
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:00,360
Speaker 3: some people listening and watching this felt like, wow, but

691
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 3: that was a long time, because that's what five six years?

692
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, But then when you.

693
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 3: Experience the glory maybe of that preparation season, it's almost

694
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 3: like it could have like I could have even waited

695
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 3: longer for this to happen.

696
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, were you prepared? Did you feel that you were

697
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 2: prepared for.

698
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 4: When all of this happened.

699
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 3: Because it was I mean, you hit the scene and

700
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,240
Speaker 3: you became a fan favorite rather quickly.

701
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 2: I was prepared.

702
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: It had been ten years since I moved to Atlanta,

703
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: and they always said it takes ten years make an

704
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: overnight success, and I moved here in two thousand and nine.

705
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 1: Sisters was being lit twenty nineteen. We shot the first

706
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 1: season in twenty nineteen, so by that time I was ready.

707
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: I was like, let's go. I've been waiting for this moment.

708
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: And I was also ready in different ways, not just

709
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 1: to act and do what I always wanted to do.

710
00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: I was also ready to be responsible over what was

711
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: about to come into my life.

712
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 2: And that was.

713
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 1: Not knowing it at the time that when God has

714
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 1: a way of doing this, he did this with right

715
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: before I came a costume designer. The designer before she

716
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: had an assistant, but she always wanted me around, and

717
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, why is she always asking me to come?

718
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 2: I love her.

719
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 1: It was Janeta Boom, incredible costume designer, but I never

720
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: understood why she always wanted me to be right there

721
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,280
Speaker 1: with her instead of her assistant. And a year later

722
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: I get the job to be a costume designer, and

723
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: then it's like, ah, God, I see what you were

724
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: doing there. You were making sure I knew what to do.

725
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: When this guy put in my.

726
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 2: Lap, he already knew. I know the plans that I

727
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 2: had for you yes.

728
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 1: And then the same thing happened with Tyler, and he

729
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 1: didn't know it. He just thought he had a great stylist.

730
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 1: But what he was doing was teaching me how to

731
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: have no business because a stylist is a very intimate position.

732
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: You are around this person all the time, they're having

733
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 1: phone calls, conversations, you're dinners with them.

734
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 2: You see everything, you see their whole world.

735
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: I got to see how Tyler handles stress, how he

736
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 1: handles the pressures of the life, the.

737
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 2: Empire that he's built.

738
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: I got to hear business conversations and how he handles business.

739
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: I saw the heart of the giving heart that he had,

740
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,320
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, all these things I'm learning

741
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,320
Speaker 1: so much. I'm learning how to move in this space.

742
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: Tyler don't move any kind of way. And I was first,

743
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: I was like, why do you do all that?

744
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 2: Now?

745
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 1: I understand, you got to move different when God puts

746
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: you in certain places. You have to manage your money different,

747
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 1: you have to give different, you know, and you can't

748
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 1: get stingy when God blesses you. And these are all

749
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: things that I learned right before it was tigned for

750
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 1: me to be pushed into that light and I was

751
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 1: able to handle so gracefully because I had been taught Yeah,

752
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: and I know that God was like, I'm a place right.

753
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: He places me in the right places. And I always

754
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: used to say, God, I know you not put me

755
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 1: around all these successful people for me to be mediocre.

756
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: I'm going I know, cause like it started off in college,

757
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: Like he had me around millionaires in college. I'm like,

758
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 1: I know You're not putting around these people that exposed

759
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 1: me to this. If if this is all you want

760
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: from me, you got something bigger for me. It's almost

761
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,959
Speaker 1: like he was dropping hints yeah or very early yeah.

762
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 3: What I think is very interesting is and where I

763
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 3: think like that anointing over your life was so clear

764
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:32,280
Speaker 3: was that in the midst of you have your heart

765
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 3: burning for this dream, you understood I have to serve though, And.

766
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 4: I could only.

767
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 3: Imagine the amount of dreams that are six feet under

768
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 3: right now because they were too proud to serve. What

769
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,800
Speaker 3: created that discernment in you to say and you didn't stop,

770
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 3: but you did it.

771
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 4: You still gave a hundred to where you were called

772
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 4: to serve, because that's that's where it becomes a problem. Right,

773
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 4: one day will start feeling like I'm.

774
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 3: Not supposed to be here, they show up with nasty attitudes.

775
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 3: What gave you the discernment to make sure that you

776
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 3: were responsible here in your waiting season.

777
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what it was. When that opportunity

778
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 1: came to me, I prayed. I said, God, if this

779
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 1: is what you want want me to do, make it plain.

780
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 1: I need you to order my steps because.

781
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 2: I don't know where I'm going. And I knew that I.

782
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: Wanted to be creative, and as long as I was

783
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: working in the creative space, I was gonna have fun

784
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: cause I love fashion, I love film and television, and

785
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: it wasn't always just about being in front of the

786
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: camera for me. So I was like, if this is

787
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,280
Speaker 1: what you want me to do, like order my steps

788
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 1: and just make it very clear this is what I

789
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: was supposed to do. And he did that, and I said,

790
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 1: all right, God, this is what you want, I'm gonna

791
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: give it one hundred and ten percent. Were gonna do

792
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 1: this thing. I'm not gonna have do nothing so ill.

793
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: I've always had the heart of a server. I always

794
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 1: want to make sure even like how I host like,

795
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 1: I'm very like, are you good? You need anything like,

796
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: I always want to make sure everybody around me is good.

797
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 2: So I've always had that.

798
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: Hospitable energy to make sure that people are good. But

799
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: I knew that if God put this in, put this

800
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 1: on my plate, I had to honor it and I

801
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 1: had to be responsible over it so that whatever was

802
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 1: to come from it, if this is also due for

803
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 1: rest of my life, I'm gonna be the best at it,

804
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm gonna put my best foot forward.

805
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 3: And yeah, before we transition into your closers, what do

806
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:45,399
Speaker 3: you want minister to Crystal today? What do you want

807
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 3: to tell Crystal today?

808
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 1: Crystal today, you have worked so hard to get where

809
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 1: you're where you are, this is only the beginning. You

810
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: always ask God to audio steps, and I feel like

811
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 1: you should continue to do that because if He hasn't

812
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 1: steered you wrong yet, continue to be fearless, stop doubting yourself,

813
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 1: stop doubting what God has already done. Tap back into

814
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 1: that little girl that was like, I don't care, I

815
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 1: like it.

816
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 2: That's what I wanna do.

817
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 1: Tap into that a little bit of that rebellion spirit,

818
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 1: but it's more like a confident spirit, knowing that whatever

819
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,320
Speaker 1: you put your mind to you can do it because

820
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 1: you've been doing it, and I would tell her to

821
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: continue to keep God first. As you continue to as

822
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: sind you're gonna get busier and busier and sometimes busy

823
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: as the devil's distraction to keep away from God. But

824
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 1: do not allow that to pull you away from God,

825
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 1: because as soon as that happens, God's gonna start pulling

826
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:53,919
Speaker 1: everything else back. So continue to stay close to Him,

827
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: keep him close to your heart, and just continue to

828
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 1: be good to people and understand that your living is

829
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 1: in your giving, which is something I already live by.

830
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 4: Thy Okay, so positive outcomes.

831
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 3: I have been working in marketing since I graduated college

832
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 3: in twenty ten. Lately I have been feeling like I

833
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,280
Speaker 3: lack the excitement for the work that I am doing,

834
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 3: and then feeling an itch to try something new, specifically

835
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 3: in entertainment. Every day feels like work. I don't feel

836
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 3: like I'm in my purpose. What scares me is the

837
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 3: job security that I currently have. I have a six

838
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 3: figure salary and great benefits. What obstacles did you have

839
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 3: to overcome to have the courage to quit your job

840
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 3: to pursue your dreams and what were the practical steps

841
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 3: that you took to prepare yourself to do it.

842
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a good one. So when you get to

843
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: the point where you can't stop thinking about what you

844
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 1: want to do, then it's time to really start making

845
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 1: your exit plan. But you have to be smart about it.

846
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:01,919
Speaker 1: For me, I definitely had a little saving set up before.

847
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 1: I'm not to just jump and move without any type

848
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: of money saved up. Save up some money that you

849
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 1: get at least, I would say, try to save up

850
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: enough to give yourself a year to like live off

851
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: of pay your bills so that you can at least survive,

852
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: because it's gonna be hard when you're transitioning. You're not

853
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 1: gonna make money right off the bat, and it's who

854
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: knows how long that period is gonna be.

855
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 2: But I would be say be ready.

856
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: To humble yourself because it doesn't always look when you're

857
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: trying to get into entertainment. I'm not sure what area

858
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: of entertainment you want to get into, but assuming it

859
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 1: is in front of the camera, it's not gonna happen

860
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: the way you see it and think or think that

861
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: it happens for other people, because like I said, for me,

862
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 1: it was a ten years before everybody knew who Christal

863
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 1: Rane Hazeley was. So be ready to be patient, be

864
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 1: ready to let the road be windy. A lot of

865
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,720
Speaker 1: people think it's gonna be a straight road, and you think, Okay,

866
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: if I want to do this, I need to do this, this, this,

867
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 1: and this. No, my journey to get here was so unorthodox.

868
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 1: Most people I work with went to er An Art,

869
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: a fine arts school. They've been classically trained, They've worked

870
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,919
Speaker 1: on other shows, other plays that came from Broadway. Other

871
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 1: people had their own shows that they were on before.

872
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 1: Everybody comes from a different journey. I stepped into it

873
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 1: without any of that background. But if that's what it

874
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 1: was for you, then you had to put yourself in

875
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 1: position train learned as much as you can about that area.

876
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 1: And I would say that the practical thing to do

877
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: is make sure that you have a plan. Don't just

878
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,839
Speaker 1: jump head first and not have any type of plan

879
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,959
Speaker 1: in place, and be smart about it. And I wish

880
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 1: you the best you can do it. I'm a witness.

881
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 3: So what are you going through and what are you

882
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 3: growing through?

883
00:48:56,320 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: Ooh, I am going through letting go of childhood trauma,

884
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 1: and I'm growing through allowing myself not to be perfect,

885
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 1: allowing myself to practice excellence and not trying to be perfect.

886
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, this was a doozy donal had me

887
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: crying up in here.

888
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 2: I want to thank you guys so much.

889
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 1: We like to close off with a keep it blank, sweetie,

890
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: and today for this one, keep it healing, sweetie, Keep healing.

891
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 1: Know that it's a process. It's not gonna happen overnight.

892
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 1: But anything that you've been through you can get through it.

893
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 1: Seek help. Therapy is real and it is very, very helpful,

894
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 1: and I advise.

895
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:55,280
Speaker 2: It to anybody.

896
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:57,879
Speaker 1: All right, Thank you guys so much for tuning in.

897
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 1: If you want to write into our of Outcome listening letter,

898
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: make sure you write in to Keep It Positive Sweety.

899
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 2: At gmail dot com.

900
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 1: You guys can follow me on pretty much everything at

901
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: luv Crystal Renee, that's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, all the things,

902
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 1: and on my YouTube.

903
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 2: Guys.

904
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: I hope this blessed you the way it blessed me.

905
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 1: This in itself was therapeutic. I didn't know I needed

906
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: to get that out to know or thank you so

907
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 1: much for helping moderate this episode of Keeping Positive Sweety.

908
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 1: I could have done this with anybody else because I

909
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 1: trust you so much, I love you and thank you.

910
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: This is a safe space for me and I couldn't

911
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 1: just do this with anybody, so thank you. All right, guys,

912
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 1: until next time, we'll see you, and in the meantime,

913
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: keep it positive, sweetie,