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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera.

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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stuff Mom Never told you?

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Speaker 1: From House Stuff Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline. And Caroline, I

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Speaker 1: feel like the word addiction is something that comes up

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Speaker 1: so much more in casual conversation by virtue of our

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Speaker 1: celebrity and tabloid culture. There's always someone having some kind

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Speaker 1: of secret addiction revealed. You have even even reality shows

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Speaker 1: about strange addictions t lcs My Strange Addiction, w shows

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Speaker 1: about hoarding an intervention. Yeah, there's something we modern Americans

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Speaker 1: and people abroad have have a strange fascination these days.

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Speaker 1: We are addicted in a way to addiction. Yeah, wouldn't

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Speaker 1: you say? I would say, um. But the fact of

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Speaker 1: the matter is, while we might be taking more of

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Speaker 1: a voyeuristic look at these um celebrity addictions or people

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Speaker 1: with stranger addictions to say, eating hair or collecting troll dolls,

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Speaker 1: who knows what, the fact of the matter is not

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Speaker 1: talking about me, Kristen awkward, sorry Caroline, but so many

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Speaker 1: troll dolls. But the fact of the matter is addiction.

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Speaker 1: UM is something that the medical community has been really

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Speaker 1: trying to get a better grasp of, especially when it

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Speaker 1: comes to how addiction affects women, because it was only

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Speaker 1: starting in the early nineteen nineties that doctors started realizing

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Speaker 1: that there are some very specific sex based differences in

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Speaker 1: addiction that might make addiction, in terms of substance abuse

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Speaker 1: specifically more UM risk here I should say for women. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: also they've really been trying to pin down the roots

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Speaker 1: of addiction as well, and that's not the easiest thing

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Speaker 1: to do. You know that there's talk about genetics, there's

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Speaker 1: talk about like what regions in your brain making more

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Speaker 1: prone to this or that UM, but the actual UM

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Speaker 1: route of addiction has been has been very hard to

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Speaker 1: pin down. And there was a study published in January

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Speaker 1: coming out of the Yale School of Medicine. It was

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Speaker 1: led by Dr Mark Potenza Um that was looking at

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Speaker 1: brain scans of cocaine dependent study participants and then also

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Speaker 1: a control group of social drinkers who did not have

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Speaker 1: cocaine habits, and they notice a very compelling difference in

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Speaker 1: how that cocaine rewards center of the brain UM lights

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Speaker 1: up in female coke addicts. Versus male coke addicts. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they found that women, when they were presented with stressed

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Speaker 1: cues had robust activity, they say, in the areas of

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Speaker 1: the brain associated with craving, and this was in the

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Speaker 1: cocaine dependent women. And they think that women with cocaine

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Speaker 1: dependence could benefit from stress reduction therapies that specifically target

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Speaker 1: these cravings. Looking at men, however, when they presented men

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Speaker 1: with stress cues during the m r I, they found

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Speaker 1: that it was more likely that drug cues would activate

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Speaker 1: those particular craving areas, meaning that men might not benefit

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Speaker 1: as much from therapy as they would from or I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: stress reduction therapy as they would from cognitive behavioral therapy.

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Speaker 1: So cravings, the cocaine cravings, and men were in other words,

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Speaker 1: more triggered by seeing things like whatever kind of implements

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Speaker 1: might be used to uh snort or inject a drug um,

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Speaker 1: something that would remind them of that environment. And it's

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Speaker 1: interesting because other studies have shown that men's cocaine habits

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Speaker 1: tend to be more associated with good times. You know,

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Speaker 1: they just want to celebrate they having a good time,

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Speaker 1: so they're gonna uh snort a very dangerous drug whereas

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Speaker 1: women's is more mood regulated coping and a lot of

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Speaker 1: these studies do talk about the differences, the gender differences

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Speaker 1: and how and why we use drugs. And ABC News

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Speaker 1: had a story that showed it's it's got a lot

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Speaker 1: to do with motivations, susceptibility, and response to treatment. And

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Speaker 1: studies on estrogen have shown that the hormone might play

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Speaker 1: a big role in women's patterns of addiction because it

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Speaker 1: influences the amount of dopamine released in women's brains in

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Speaker 1: response to things like cocaine or alcohol and sexual activity

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Speaker 1: and addictive behavior like this is all focused around dopamine,

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Speaker 1: which we often refer to as the you know, the

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Speaker 1: pleasure chemical. If you take a bite of a browning

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Speaker 1: and it tastes really delicious and you feel all warm

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Speaker 1: and fuzzy inside, that's because he had a little hit

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Speaker 1: of dopamine from that chocolate goodness. Exactly. I am addicted

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Speaker 1: to brownies in addition to eating hair Kristen and troll

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Speaker 1: collecting um well. Jill Becker at University of Michigan did

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Speaker 1: a study on rats looking at the effects of estrogen

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Speaker 1: when it's combined with cocaine and after three weeks, the

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Speaker 1: animals had become sensitized to cocaine, which means, you know,

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Speaker 1: they were exhibiting certain behaviors related to the drug. But

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Speaker 1: Becker found that female rats who received estrogen and cocaine

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Speaker 1: showed twenty more since sensitization excuse me than the male

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Speaker 1: rats or the females who didn't receive estrogen. And two

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Speaker 1: weeks after having received the drug and the hormone and combination,

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Speaker 1: the rats still exhibited a greater behavioral response to cocaine.

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Speaker 1: So what that seems to suggest is that estrogen might

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Speaker 1: make our our bodies more responsive in a way to

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Speaker 1: addictive substances like that. Um. And it's interesting that we're

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Speaker 1: talking about estro gen and hormones because, as we'll go

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Speaker 1: into more detail with nicotine addiction, your menstrual cycle plays

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Speaker 1: a potentially large role in how much your cravings for

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Speaker 1: a substance might be. Yeah, this is so weird. Uh.

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Speaker 1: They found that this is from the Harvard Mental Health letter. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Study they did. They found that it was harder for

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Speaker 1: women during the luteal phase of their menstrual cycle, which

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Speaker 1: is mid cycle just after ovulation, to kick the habit.

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Speaker 1: Women who time their quit date to occur during the

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Speaker 1: follicular phase, which begins just after menstruation and ends at ovulation,

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Speaker 1: are more likely to abstain for a longer time, and

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Speaker 1: they think that that has to do precisely with the

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Speaker 1: UM raised or lowered levels of estrogen and progesterone in

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Speaker 1: a woman's body. UM. But going back to a little

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Speaker 1: bit more about nicotine addiction, UM, women tend to use

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Speaker 1: smoking to regulate mood and suppress appetite, whereas men are

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Speaker 1: more likely to smoke to improve attention and work performance,

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Speaker 1: these feelings of aggression and relieve pain. So again you

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Speaker 1: have that divergence between more of a mood regulator and

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Speaker 1: something that UM. I mean, I guess if it's if

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Speaker 1: men are smoking to relieve aggression, there's also mood regulation involved,

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Speaker 1: but it's still more of UM, I guess, an environmentally

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Speaker 1: regulated que. Yeah. And they did look at different types

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Speaker 1: of therapy to kick the habit and found that nicotine

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Speaker 1: replacement therapy, which was developed and tested primarily for men,

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Speaker 1: is less effective in women, and women actually have greater

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Speaker 1: success quitting by using antidepressants and support groups, which I

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Speaker 1: had never heard that about antidepressants. So it makes sense though,

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Speaker 1: that the more traditional treatments for things like smoking or

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Speaker 1: cocaine addiction UM work better for men than women UM

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Speaker 1: statistically because a lot of those therapies and treatments in

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Speaker 1: medications were developed based around male addiction and based on

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Speaker 1: male patients, which has been a legacy, a long running

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Speaker 1: legacy of the pharmaceutical industry that they've gotten much better

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Speaker 1: with in recent years, but they're still having to catch up.

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Speaker 1: And then when it comes to alcohol abuse, we've talked

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Speaker 1: about alcohol before on the podcast and how women are

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Speaker 1: catching up to men in terms of our alcohol abuse.

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Speaker 1: And the thing is, this is really really not good

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Speaker 1: for us because of sex differences and how male and

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Speaker 1: female bodies process alcohol. Yeah, I feel like it's common

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Speaker 1: knowledge that when women have a lower tolerance for alcohol.

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Speaker 1: That's that's something that's been hammered home quite a bit.

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Speaker 1: But the reasons behind it are interesting and could potentially

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Speaker 1: lead to a lot of physical damage. We have lower

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Speaker 1: levels of enzymes that break down alcohol in the stomach

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Speaker 1: and liver, which means we absorb more alcohol into our bloodstream. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And the thing is to actors did not realize this

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Speaker 1: until ninety nine. They didn't they had not figured out

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Speaker 1: the whole metabolic difference between men and women and how

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Speaker 1: much they're drinking um. Oh, and speaking to to the

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Speaker 1: gender gap UM seven twelve percent of women. I think

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Speaker 1: this is based in the U United States. This is

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Speaker 1: also from the Harvard Mental Health Letter. Seven and twelve

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Speaker 1: percent of women abused alcohol versus of men. But again

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Speaker 1: that gap is closing as it has become more acceptable

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Speaker 1: for women to drink openly. UM. But is that really

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Speaker 1: a gender gap that we want to close? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: But I'm talking about the physical stuff. This is coming

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Speaker 1: from Women and Addiction, a comprehensive handbook. Things that contribute

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Speaker 1: to the different effects that alcohol has on our bodies

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Speaker 1: include body weight, proportion of body water, and alcohol metabolism,

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Speaker 1: which all result in higher blood alcohol concentrations in women

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Speaker 1: which lead to problems like liver diseases, malnutrition, obesity, and

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Speaker 1: also among many other things. Yeah, when you look at

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Speaker 1: substance abuse and the health conditions UM that are provoked

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Speaker 1: by those such as you know, cirrhosis and liver disease, malnutrition,

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Speaker 1: the steaks for women are often higher than the stakes

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Speaker 1: for men. Not saying we're not giving guys We're not

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Speaker 1: giving you a pass to go out and abuse methamphetamine

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. UM, but we are more susceptible

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Speaker 1: to negative health outcomes. UM. Even with a cigarette smoking.

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Speaker 1: For instance, women are more likely to develop lung cancer

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Speaker 1: twice as likely to have a heart attack related to smoking.

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Speaker 1: And also this is not to say that the female

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Speaker 1: bodies is fragile and made of blast, but I think

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Speaker 1: these are these are biochemical differences that that we need

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Speaker 1: to keep in mind. UM. And because of that, I

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Speaker 1: guess the potential severity of health outcomes from substance abuse.

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Speaker 1: Doctors have UM explored the notion of telescoping. Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: whole idea that women will get addicted faster, shorter period

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Speaker 1: of time, have more severe symptoms along with their addiction,

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Speaker 1: but then seek treatment faster. So the whole process of

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Speaker 1: addiction is sort of crunched for women. And so going

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Speaker 1: back to that Women in Addiction book, part of the

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Speaker 1: whole thing with telescoping could have something to do with

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Speaker 1: socio cultural differences maybe women, Uh, you know, it's it's

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Speaker 1: viewed more negatively. You talked about how the whole thing

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Speaker 1: of like, you know, women are are catching up to

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Speaker 1: men in terms of their drinking because it's more socially acceptable,

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Speaker 1: but it still is viewed negatively. So women are more

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Speaker 1: likely to abuse drugs, usually prescription dot drugs and alcohol

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Speaker 1: at home alone, but then they are more likely to

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Speaker 1: seek therapy. Yeah, it was interesting though speaking it's a

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Speaker 1: sort of tangential, but talking about those socio cultural differences, Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's certainly become more acceptable for women to drink,

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Speaker 1: women to drink openly um. But there I think there

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Speaker 1: still is a stigma of women and especially mothers drinking um.

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Speaker 1: But there was a an article that I ran across

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Speaker 1: on parent dish dot com talking about a Working Mother

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Speaker 1: magazine study of working mothers who drank, and essentially they

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Speaker 1: found that a lot of women, working mothers kind of

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Speaker 1: understandably have a glass of wine um after they get

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Speaker 1: home and the kids are put to bed, but it

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Speaker 1: was painted really negatively, is as though most of these

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Speaker 1: women were endangering the lives of their children. And yet

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Speaker 1: there was no mention in there of say, working fathers

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Speaker 1: coming home kind of you know, harkening back to Don

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Speaker 1: Draper and madmen having a having a scotch or a beer,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I think there still

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Speaker 1: is a little bit um of a stigma there, but

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Speaker 1: that may also those socio cultural differences may also be

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Speaker 1: lessening for younger women. It might be more of a

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Speaker 1: general generational thing that is fading out. There was a

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Speaker 1: two thousand ten study in the American Journal of Psychiatry

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Speaker 1: UM that did not find women having a shorter time

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Speaker 1: to alcohol dependence. Basically, they didn't find any evidence of

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Speaker 1: a telescoping effect for women. UM. Younger women in involved

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Speaker 1: in the study. Right, Does that mean they're just catching up?

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Speaker 1: Does that mean more we're drinking. We're starting to drink

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Speaker 1: as early as the guys do, essentially instead of waiting

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Speaker 1: until midlife, hitting the bottle really hard and then becoming

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Speaker 1: addicted in seeking treatment once our um, once the symptoms

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Speaker 1: are as as bad as a male who's been drinking

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Speaker 1: for a longer amount of time. Right, And that that

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Speaker 1: twenty study from everything we read, I judged it to

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Speaker 1: be in the minority UM because everybody's talking about telescoping,

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Speaker 1: and if they're not using the word, they're just talking

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Speaker 1: about how the time period for women in addiction is crunched.

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Speaker 1: And that's Dr Stephen Ross of ny US Tish hospital

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Speaker 1: basically said the same thing. Women get sicker and have

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Speaker 1: earlier morbidity and mortality than men, and the psychology behind

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Speaker 1: that has to do with their motivations for using which

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Speaker 1: are specific and internal, having more to do with mood regulation,

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Speaker 1: as we've mentioned well, and that might also explain to

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Speaker 1: why women are far more likely than men to exhibit

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Speaker 1: co morbid psychiatric conditions. So, in other words, you have

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Speaker 1: an alcohol addiction, but it usually comes with a side

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Speaker 1: of bipolar right, or some other kind of psychiatric condition exactly.

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Speaker 1: And Brenda ill If wrote for Psychology Today that you know,

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Speaker 1: some of the issues with women seeking treatment for their addiction,

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Speaker 1: one of them does have to do with mental health issues,

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Speaker 1: and that a woman who is addicted might seek treatment

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Speaker 1: for depression or for some mental health issue, but might

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Speaker 1: not actually seek help for the addiction itself, so not

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Speaker 1: covering all the bases. She also said that you know,

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Speaker 1: women may not receive treatment because they're afraid of being

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Speaker 1: separated from their families, since we're typically the central caregivers,

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Speaker 1: and some women are more prone to view addiction as

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Speaker 1: a social thing, not disruptive to their lives or their families.

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Speaker 1: And there was one study too that caught my eye,

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Speaker 1: um which found that older women especially are having a

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Speaker 1: harder time with addiction. This was from a two thousand

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Speaker 1: and eight study by Penelope Ziegler, and she found that

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Speaker 1: substance abuse disorders are becoming more and more common and

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Speaker 1: women over sixty and will become a larger public health

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Speaker 1: issue as the baby boomers reach retirement age, and that

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Speaker 1: brings up all sorts of challenges in terms of identifying

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Speaker 1: addiction and older population intervening and treating them, because not

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Speaker 1: only might you have health conditions associated with substance abuse,

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Speaker 1: but also just the you know, the basic process of aging. Right,

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Speaker 1: I feel like, uh, I read somewhere that it's it's

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Speaker 1: more unusual to focus on older women with addiction because normally,

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Speaker 1: if an addiction is really bad, either someone has sought

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Speaker 1: treatment at a younger age or they've just gotten so

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Speaker 1: sick from it that maybe they didn't make it to

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Speaker 1: an advanced age. So it's developing kind of subgroup support

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Speaker 1: groups for these older women is very important, right, because

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Speaker 1: one thing that Chilly Greenfield at Harvard Medical School emphasizes

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Speaker 1: is that women do tend to relapse more often than men,

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Speaker 1: probably because you know, the medical research is only now

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Speaker 1: catching up to specific needs in treatment that women might need, right, like, uh,

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Speaker 1: it needs that women might need. That was need need

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Speaker 1: need need. Well, we talked about nicotine replacement therapy and

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Speaker 1: how that is not as successful for women because it

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Speaker 1: was tested more for men. So that's an example of

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Speaker 1: how you know, women, whatever their age, do need sort

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Speaker 1: of a different focus for their treatment. But we also

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Speaker 1: looked at a two thousand three study that focused on

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Speaker 1: younger women from ages eight to twenty two. When I

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Speaker 1: first read that, I thought I was eighteen to twenty

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Speaker 1: two because I thought there's no way that eight year

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Speaker 1: old second graders could be in an addiction study. But

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Speaker 1: this is from the National Center on Addiction and Substance

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Speaker 1: Abuse at Columbia University, and the three year study found

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Speaker 1: that girls and young women use substances for different reasons

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Speaker 1: than boys and young men do, and the signals of

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Speaker 1: higher risk are different. Yeah. The study pointed out some

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Speaker 1: some things about younger women and girls and addiction that

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Speaker 1: I wasn't aware of, including, um, how girls may develop

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Speaker 1: symptoms of nicotine addiction faster than boys and may become

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Speaker 1: addicted to nicotine before they even become regular smokers. UM

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Speaker 1: females progressed from alcohol use to abuse faster than males.

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Speaker 1: And then just to add some stats around UM, the

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Speaker 1: the gender gaps of substance abuse. So we've mentioned UM

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Speaker 1: sixty five percent of college women drink compared to of

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Speaker 1: college men, so that's pretty narrow five percent gap, and

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Speaker 1: then for smoking, it's even narrower, with twenty four point

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Speaker 1: six percent of college women smoking compared to twenty six

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Speaker 1: point five percent of college men smoking. And I would

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Speaker 1: guess that that narrower gender gap has to do with

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Speaker 1: appetite suppression effects from cigarettes, but that's just my commentary. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it could be. The study points out that girls and

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Speaker 1: young women are more likely to be depressed, more likely

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Speaker 1: to consider and commit suicide than boys, and are more

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Speaker 1: likely to have been abused, and all of these things

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Speaker 1: tie into substance use and abuse, and it might actually

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Speaker 1: be easier for girls to get their hands on alcohol

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Speaker 1: if they're underage, cigarettes if they're under age, and drugs

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Speaker 1: if they are of any age, because they are illegal. Right, Well,

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Speaker 1: one thing, you know, you mentioned appetite suppress night with

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Speaker 1: cigarettes and the gender gap there. What I thought was

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Speaker 1: very surprising was you know girls are more likely to

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Speaker 1: diet and have eating disorders than boys, and girls who

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Speaker 1: engage in unhealthy dieting behaviors drink significantly more alcohol than

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Speaker 1: non dieters. But when they asked the study participants about

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Speaker 1: their drinking habits, half did not know that alcohol contributes

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Speaker 1: to weight gain, and five point seven percent actually thought

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Speaker 1: that drinking alcohol helps you lose weight. So we got

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Speaker 1: some miseducation. Needs to educate about exactly can we beat

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Speaker 1: our podcast into into people's brains. I'm sure. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: that's in the future, the near future podcast school. And

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Speaker 1: then there is the issue of whether or not UM

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Speaker 1: mother's smoke or drink while they're pregnant. Um If so,

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Speaker 1: their daughter is much more likely to do both. There

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Speaker 1: is a very significant and strong link between prenatal exposure

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Speaker 1: to smoking and drinking to the offspring smoking and drinking. Right,

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Speaker 1: it's the link is stronger for girls and boys, which

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Speaker 1: I didn't know. And at the same time, I uh,

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Speaker 1: and again this is just my social commentary. I wonder

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Speaker 1: if it is also um if if that celebrity culture

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Speaker 1: plus addiction and the whole whole celebrity rehab trend and

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Speaker 1: how it is. I mean, you know, it's a new week,

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Speaker 1: a new blog post, a new a new celebrity with

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Speaker 1: some kind of debilitating addiction. And I wonder if that

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Speaker 1: kind of a connection to celebrity is also not doing

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Speaker 1: a disservice to younger girls who idolize celebrities. And there's

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Speaker 1: the culture you're into. I remember right after I graduated college,

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine pointed out that, you know, he

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Speaker 1: was exaggerating, but he was like, you know, have the

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Speaker 1: people I know in college or alcoholics, they just don't

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Speaker 1: know it. It's not until they graduate and get out

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Speaker 1: in the real world and they're in a normal sort

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Speaker 1: of structured situation with a job and everything, that they realize, oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe I have a problem. Maybe it's not normal A

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Speaker 1: drink all day every day. Yeah, and to binge drink.

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Speaker 1: We're not talking about having one glass of wine, having

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Speaker 1: a beer, Okay, no big deal. But it's it is

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Speaker 1: that that excessive and constant behavior. UM And I I

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Speaker 1: think it's worth thinking twice about these addiction pathways. And

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Speaker 1: I'm it is heartening too to know that the medical

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Speaker 1: community UM really does want to puzzle out why we

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Speaker 1: become addicted and specifically why men and women become addicted

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Speaker 1: through different routes. It's pretty fascinating. Yeah, and uh, treatment,

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Speaker 1: different treatments are very important. And for female smokers out there,

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Speaker 1: pay attention to your menstrual cycle. I hadn't heard that before. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to have to figure out exactly what's up

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Speaker 1: with the loot. Not that I smoke, but now I'm

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Speaker 1: curious about what the loodeal cycle is. I'm want to

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Speaker 1: look more into this. When it's harder for you to

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Speaker 1: to kick your addiction, that's probably you know what, during

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Speaker 1: your lodeal cycle. I bet you start buying a bunch

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Speaker 1: of trolls. I bet you start eating all that hair

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Speaker 1: that you that you eat. This is fictional. Those are cruelines.

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Speaker 1: Addictions we've been talking about are purely fictional. Mine are

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Speaker 1: mostly like chocolate, really typical and typical Kathy coffee and chocolate,

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Speaker 1: chocolate and romance novels. Oh god, I'm so glad I

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Speaker 1: don't have a cat. So we've talked about all of

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Speaker 1: these addictive pathways and we were we don't mean to

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Speaker 1: leave you hanging out there, but we are following up

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Speaker 1: with our next episode, which will be on rehab and

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Speaker 1: what kinds of specific rehabilitation practices work for men and women.

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Speaker 1: Who was Betty Ford um and and how the rehab

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Speaker 1: culture that we have today has sprung up. So tune

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Speaker 1: in for that next time on stuff Mom never told you.

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Speaker 1: But in the meantime, send us your letters. Mom. Stuff

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00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 1: at Discovery dot com is where you can send them

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00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 1: if you have anything addiction related to to let us know.

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Speaker 1: And in the meantime we've got a couple of letters

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Speaker 1: to read as well. I have one here from Lauren

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Speaker 1: who has a fantastic addiction. You're running. Do you like that, Sega?

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Speaker 1: She just giving a little thumbs up. All right, Lauren, Right,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your podcast on women marathoners.

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Speaker 1: I'm myself and I am a runner and got a

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Speaker 1: lot out of this one. When I first started running,

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Speaker 1: I ran with a group of girls, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: think much about it. Now I'm training for my second

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Speaker 1: Chicago marathon and I'm very excited about it. The thing is,

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Speaker 1: I have never considered myself a girl when I run.

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Speaker 1: When I run with a group of people, we are

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Speaker 1: all just people. My running group is now people of

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Speaker 1: all ages, races, backgrounds, both men and women, and we

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Speaker 1: don't classify ourselves by any of these traditional characteristics. We

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Speaker 1: are runners and defined by our accomplishments and goals. As such,

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Speaker 1: it never occurred to me that women weren't allowed to

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Speaker 1: do this. I can't imagine my life without running. Coincidentally,

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Speaker 1: before I started, I thought running a marathon was completely

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Speaker 1: insane and could not understand what made people crazy enough

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Speaker 1: to want to run that far. So thank you to Lauren.

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Speaker 1: And this one is from Rose about our our Gay

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Speaker 1: Households More Egalitarian episode. She says, I thought it was

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Speaker 1: really cool that you both said that all couples could

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Speaker 1: learn something from the research and ideas that you discussed.

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Speaker 1: As a lesbian, I feel that the freedom to negotiate

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Speaker 1: the balance of power and responsibilities in my relationship with

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Speaker 1: women is a real privilege and has enabled me to

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Speaker 1: examine my own strengths and weaknesses and really try and

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Speaker 1: figure out how I can best contribute to a relationship

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Speaker 1: rather than falling back on what is expected of my gender.

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Speaker 1: One area where I really noticed this difference in power

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Speaker 1: and responsibility was when my wife and I got married

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Speaker 1: last year. We planned the wedding together and really we're

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Speaker 1: a team at all points doing the guest list, addressing envelopes,

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Speaker 1: picking a venue, choosing suits and dresses for our attendance,

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Speaker 1: flowers favors. We split a few tasks. I researched DJs

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Speaker 1: while she researched cakes, for example, but tasks were pretty

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Speaker 1: evenly distributed. This is a big contrast to how I've

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Speaker 1: seen straight friends plan their weddings. I usually see the

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Speaker 1: bride along with her mother and mother in law and

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Speaker 1: friends during most of the inviting and quote unquote design tasks,

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Speaker 1: while the groom participates only at the final stage of

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Speaker 1: these decisions to give final approval or pick out a

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Speaker 1: few options presented to him. Grooms do seem to participate

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Speaker 1: more when it comes to food and music, maybe because

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Speaker 1: women feel men have more expertise in those areas question work. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: not all weddings work this way, but I thought this

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Speaker 1: was one example of a life event where expected gender

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Speaker 1: roles often play a big part in how men and

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Speaker 1: women participate differently. I think in general, as more gay

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Speaker 1: couples get married and structure their weddings and marriages differently,

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Speaker 1: all couples will benefit from a little more freedom to

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Speaker 1: customize and create structures that work best for them and

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Speaker 1: their lives rather than adhere to what is expected. So

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Speaker 1: thanks to everyone who has written in mom Stuff at

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00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: Discovery dot com is where you can send your letters,

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00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: and don't forget to tune into the next podcast where

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00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 1: we will we will answer all of your questions about

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00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 1: whether or not rehab or or addiction I should say,

427
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 1: can be effectively treated with rehab. And in the meantime,

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00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: you can check in with us on Facebook and follow

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00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: us on Twitter at Mom's Stuff Poe podcast, and you

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00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: can read up on addiction at our home website, that's

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00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: how Stuff Works dot com. For more on this and

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Speaker 1: thousands of other topics, visit how Stuff works dot com.

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Speaker 1: It's ready, are you