1 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome to miss Spelling. 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 3: I'm Cheryl Burke and I'm guest hosting for Tory and 4 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 3: Today we're talking health and wellness with doctor Jesse Mills, 5 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 3: director of the Men's Clinic at UCLA and host of 6 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 3: the mail Room podcast. From Sleep and Stress to fitness, nutrition, 7 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 3: and the latest wellness trends. Will break down what actually 8 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 3: works and bus some common myths along the way. 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: Let's get started. 10 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: Hello, how are you. It's so good to see so. 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: Good to see you. How are you doing. 12 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: I'm living the dream. 13 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 4: I'm in Santa Monica, California, and I get to talk 14 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 4: with you tonight. 15 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,559 Speaker 1: So what else is there to look forward to? Well, welcome, 16 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This is going to be great. 17 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, so tell me I just let's just dive in 18 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 3: because this is going to be a long one, I think, because. 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: There's alan Yeah. Wow, we got a lot to cover, 20 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:05,759 Speaker 1: a lot to. 21 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 2: Cover, We've got puns to cover. What are I guess? 22 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 3: Tell me about your podcast because I did listen to 23 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 3: a few episodes and I really love how vulnerable you 24 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 3: and your guests are and I think it's really important, 25 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,199 Speaker 3: especially when it comes to the you know, male species. 26 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 3: I think it's very important to start these conversations, especially 27 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 3: since it's twenty twenty six and I think you know 28 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 3: you said you or your guest said something about how 29 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 3: vulnerability is a superpower that we should all think that 30 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 3: it's not something that is a bad thing. It's actually, 31 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 3: you know, you need strength to be vulnerable. 32 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, you need strength, Cheryl. 33 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 4: You also just need to have that presence of knowing 34 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 4: that you're confident in yourself. And I think the most 35 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 4: vulnerable guys are the guys that feel as if they 36 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 4: they don't have anything to lose if they open themselves up. 37 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 4: And in fact, it's beyond that. It's just that that 38 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 4: feeling of knowing that somebody has your six they got 39 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 4: you right. And so vulnerability takes on a lot of 40 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 4: different forms. And one of the things that came up 41 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,959 Speaker 4: in that conversation I had with doctor Stephen Poulter. 42 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: Who's a therapist it pretty much works exclusively. 43 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 4: With guys in Southern California, is that you have to 44 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 4: get to that certain level where you're comfortable with that 45 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 4: and and the vulnerability is the reason it's the superpower 46 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 4: is because then people actually get to know you. 47 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: You're not hiding anything. And I think a lot of 48 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: a lot of. 49 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 4: What's happening in the zeitgeys these days with the male species. 50 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 4: As you said, I love that was was that you know, 51 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,920 Speaker 4: we're all kind of like a little bit afraid of 52 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 4: if we if we open up it, we disclose too 53 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 4: much that people are going to come back at us. 54 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 4: And that may be, but it depends on what you're 55 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 4: vulnerable about. And you know, as I say, when I 56 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 4: come to work, you know, I have to be I 57 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 4: have to be. I'm you're coming to see me because 58 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 4: you have a problem. So they don't want to come 59 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 4: into my exam room and then hear about you know 60 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 4: the fact that I got a sore knee or you 61 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 4: know I didn't leep it all last night. And so 62 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 4: that's one that's one way vulnerability takes its rears its 63 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 4: ugly head. As if if I come in and dump 64 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 4: my problems. But if I'm there and you just you know, 65 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,799 Speaker 4: take that breath. I don't know how that well that 66 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 4: goes over audio, but a big deep breath of just saying, hey, 67 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 4: you know what it's going to be, Okay, you're going 68 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 4: to be okay, but let's let's get through this. 69 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: But yeah, it's that's it. 70 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 4: The zerper power is that it's okay for us to 71 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,919 Speaker 4: talk about where we're coming from. And I think we 72 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 4: we we hide and we stress, and we hide all 73 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 4: that anxiety and we we just keep shoving it down. 74 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 3: So yeah, male specie and female species as well. Like 75 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 3: I have to say, I think you know, for me, 76 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 3: I can say it from personal experience. You know, it's 77 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 3: scary to be vulnerable because you don't want to be hurt. 78 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 3: You know, there is these protective mechanisms that we put 79 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 3: up that I do at least that I haven't past 80 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 3: relationships for sure. 81 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 2: But speaking of stress, back to what you were. 82 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 3: Saying, what is what is the link I guess between 83 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 3: chronic stress and chronic illness? 84 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the length is a it's huge. 85 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 4: I mean the hormonal link is that chronic stress causes 86 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 4: your autonomic nervous system, especially call your sympathetic nervous in 87 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 4: your fight or flight where you're always running away from 88 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 4: a tiger, You're always going to try to fight the 89 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 4: caveman in the cave next to you, right, That causes 90 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 4: your heart rate to go crazy all the time. It 91 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 4: causes your blood pressure to go up, it causes the 92 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 4: butterflies in your stomach. That's adrenaline just shooting out of 93 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 4: your adrenal gland to say, you know, I got to 94 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 4: get to get my fists up, or I get to 95 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 4: get my wall my defenses up, as you just said, 96 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 4: and you never get to relax. You never get to 97 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 4: get into that parasympathetic state where again, I'm just gonna 98 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 4: do it. Oh man, that breath right like, it's so 99 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 4: helpful just to just breathe, and that automatically triggers those 100 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 4: cortisol levels to go down, automatically triggers your parasympathetic nervous 101 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,600 Speaker 4: system to go up. It just relaxed like you had 102 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 4: a big meal, you just had sex. You know, you 103 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 4: had something good happened to you. That allows you just 104 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 4: to recover. And if you're chronically stressed and you're chronically 105 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,840 Speaker 4: an inflammatory state, you don't sleep well, you probably don't 106 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 4: eat well, you certainly aren't exercising enough, and your brain 107 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 4: can never shut down. 108 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: I mean, that's just the top of the tip of 109 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: the iceberg. 110 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 2: That you sound like. You just read my bio. There 111 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 2: you go, Well, I have a question. Now, do you 112 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 2: find your patients could be addicted to that feeling? 113 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean so. 114 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 4: Stress and accomplishment is incredibly addictive. And the more you 115 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 4: get done, the better you feel for just that little 116 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 4: bit of time to let you go on and get 117 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 4: better and better. And you know, in any corporate structure, 118 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 4: in any you know, in the entertainment industry, you know, 119 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 4: you get one gig and that opens you up to 120 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 4: more gigs and then essentially you keep going and going 121 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 4: because you know, if you ever say no in Hollywood, 122 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 4: nobody's going to call you back. It's not that much different. 123 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 4: You know, if I have a patient list of saying, 124 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 4: you know, fifty guys I'm going to see in that day, 125 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 4: and then somebody calls me and say, hey, Mills, can 126 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 4: you get this one guy in? And if I say no, 127 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 4: he's probably not going to call me again for that 128 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 4: next time, right, because they want somebody to say yes 129 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:09,559 Speaker 4: all the time. 130 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: And that feels really good. 131 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 4: I feel validated to be really busy as a clinician. 132 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 4: But you're right, it is that feeling of when that 133 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 4: phone stops ringing, are you going to be okay? And 134 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 4: that's the hard part about that addiction of just always 135 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 4: wanting to get more and more and more. 136 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: We call it. 137 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 4: There's the term for this that we call the arrival fallacy, 138 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 4: where if you like, if I could just get this 139 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 4: next you know, if I could get through this next 140 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 4: season of dancing, right, I'm gonna be great. 141 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: Like I've hit it, I just keep hitting that. 142 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 2: Twenty six seasons later, You're like, what. 143 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 4: I mean, that's crazy. Exactly what I'm talking about, right, 144 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 4: It's same for me. I mean in the academic world, 145 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 4: I start as an assistant professor, and I say, look, 146 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 4: if I just publish more, if I maybe skip a 147 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 4: couple more baseball games and my kids are out, if 148 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 4: I do this, I'll get to associate. Eventually I'll become 149 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 4: a full professor. And I've finally arrived. And guess what, 150 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 4: I've been a full professor first going on eight years, 151 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 4: and I'm still hustling. I mean, I am not slowing down, 152 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 4: and and you know, I love it. But if you 153 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 4: don't find that balance of realizing when you can unplug, 154 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 4: that's going to lead to chronic stress and information. So 155 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 4: I will tell you, as a side note, the idea 156 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 4: of work life balance for people like you and I 157 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 4: that are so dedicated to our jobs and excellence, it 158 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 4: is really hard to achieve. And so you just kind 159 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 4: of throw that out as a starting and say, look, 160 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 4: work is life, so you have to make sure you 161 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 4: can figure out how to get those small victories and 162 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 4: how to get that balance of just being here. I mean, 163 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 4: you know, you and I are working right now, but 164 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 4: I'm having a great time. 165 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: Talking to you. 166 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,119 Speaker 2: This is right. 167 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 4: So it's work, it's work, but it's fun as hell. 168 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 4: And so that's what you do, is you find out 169 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 4: how to bring joy and whatever is on your plate 170 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 4: for that day. 171 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: Now. I don't believe in balance. 172 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough, unpack that. Unpack that. 173 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 3: Maybe it's the athletic, you know side of me, but 174 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 3: I don't believe in balance because you can't really get 175 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 3: one hundred percent of something if you aren't giving one 176 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 3: hundred percent of yourself into something, if you know what 177 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 3: I mean, Like it's really hard. It's not hard, it's 178 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 3: like I don't I don't see it. I think it's 179 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 3: something it's another thing that we're never going to reach, right, 180 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 3: So it's like it's almost like it's unattainable. 181 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: That's right, that's right. 182 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 2: So why why why is the gold balance? 183 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean again, I think that that's a sign 184 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 4: of a truly successful person, and I think that isn't 185 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 4: And I think you know, there's a classic Words of 186 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 4: All album, I'll sleep when I'm Dead, and there's something 187 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 4: crazy about right, but it's sort of true because if 188 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 4: you're really in it, and you're really enjoying what you're doing, 189 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 4: then then what are you trying to balance? 190 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 1: You're just living your life. You're living your life. 191 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 4: You're living an incredibly successful life that makes everybody's lives 192 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 4: around you better, that brings joy into the households of 193 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 4: millions of people. 194 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, so why do you need balance? 195 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 4: You're just you're You're being you and that's that's you know, 196 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 4: I'm being me and I'm doing what I do because 197 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 4: I've figured out a way to make a living and 198 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 4: enjoy it. 199 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 2: So what so why is that the goal? 200 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: Yeah? 201 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 3: Why why do people come to do people come to 202 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 3: you and be like, Okay, so you know I'm burnt out. 203 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 2: How do I create more of a balanced lifestyle? 204 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: Right? 205 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 4: Well, let's I mean now you've thankfully Yeah, boy, we're 206 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 4: getting so philosophic, so philosophical. 207 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 2: That that's okay, no, I love it. 208 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 4: I was a liberal arts major before I went to 209 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 4: medical school. You know, I'll work the literature angle here eventually. 210 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 4: But no, it's all good. Yeah no, But I mean 211 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 4: if somebody comes in and says, yeah, I love you, 212 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 4: phrase that, I mean that was five of the guys 213 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 4: I saw in my office this afternoon, is you know, 214 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 4: and because they come to me thinking my disaster is low, 215 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 4: and I say, okay, well, yeah, this is what I do. 216 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 4: I'm a specialist in male hormones. And so let's think, Okay, 217 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,719 Speaker 4: well that's easy, it's a blood test, but really, what 218 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 4: is it you're trying to achieve. Well, let's see, I'm 219 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,959 Speaker 4: forty two years old, I'm trying to make partner in 220 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 4: my law firm. I'm building like crazy, but I'm missing 221 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 4: out of my kids activities. I haven't been on a 222 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 4: date with my partner for six months, and I'm super 223 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 4: stressed out. And I'm like, okay, cool, get it. You know, 224 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 4: I'm in La. You're in La. We're all working our 225 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 4: butts off here just to pay the rent or the mortgage. 226 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 4: But where does this stopstream fit in this for you? 227 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 4: And I turn it back on them and say, well, 228 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 4: what do you want out of this? If you want 229 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 4: me to give you a pill, if you want me 230 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 4: to write you a prescription, Let's really think about what 231 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 4: got you into the office in the first place. And 232 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 4: that's how you unpack any health journey is what is 233 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 4: wrong in your life that you can fix? And then 234 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 4: how do I coach you along? I mean, that's the 235 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 4: way that my practice run. I mean, I'm a surgeon. 236 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 4: I spent seven years of my training learning how to 237 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 4: operate to fix disease. But yet I spent a good 238 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 4: part of my day trying to figure out how not 239 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,679 Speaker 4: to operate on people and how not to write them 240 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 4: a prescription. And a lot of it comes with that 241 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 4: self reflection. And tell me, tell me why you think 242 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 4: there is balance in the world, in the universe, Tell 243 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 4: me why it's your goals, your goal because you clicked 244 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 4: on in the morning and said, figure out how to 245 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,439 Speaker 4: achieve balance? You know, get up, drink lemon water? Uh, 246 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 4: And if you do any of these things, just throw 247 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:09,959 Speaker 4: it right back at me. 248 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: Share out. By the way, have a great conversation. 249 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 2: But you know which I drank water? 250 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 4: Okay, that's as a urologist, I got to tell you 251 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 4: that's Dayreen, I don't want you. 252 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 2: I'm kidding, okitty kid, I'm kidding. 253 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: I kidding. There you go. 254 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 4: But anyhow, Yeah, so that's that's the goal to this 255 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 4: all is for people to take that accountability and figure 256 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 4: out what what is an actionable item to you know, 257 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 4: as as you led with chronic inflammation, chronic stress, all 258 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,559 Speaker 4: of those things, there's a root cause that is probably 259 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 4: not medical, and I have an obligation to figure what 260 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 4: that is as a physician, but also provide the medical 261 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 4: backboard to support that man in his journey, Like you mean. 262 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 3: Like through psychological like therapy or yeah, I love therapy. 263 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: Shore I think therapy. 264 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 2: I've been therapy my whole life, and I will. 265 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 4: Be yeah, it's and so hey, that's vulnerability right there, 266 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,199 Speaker 4: and I think it's I think that's right, is that 267 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 4: you cannot separate out physiological issues from psychological issues. And 268 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 4: it doesn't matter what we're talking we're talking about TESTOSTERP, 269 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 4: we're talking about a rectile dysfunction. Where guy comes and says, 270 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 4: I have no erections is I said, exactly right? 271 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: And they said, I think it's all my head. Doc. 272 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 4: I said, well, okay, it is, but I will tell 273 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 4: you if I took a totally normal, raging stallion of 274 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 4: a guy and I immediately made his erections go away, 275 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 4: you don't think that's going to mess with his head 276 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 4: just a little bit, Just a little bit. I mean, 277 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 4: of course it's psychological, and then we build we build 278 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 4: up the physiology. But having that that strong mental health 279 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 4: is key to this. 280 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 3: You know you can and just taking accountability. Isn't that 281 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 3: the first step? 282 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: Oh? 283 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 4: Sure, I mean that's the thing. First step in any 284 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 4: journey is knowing what you can do for yourself with 285 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 4: the right guidance. And I think that's the tricky thing 286 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 4: in this, in this web based environment where you don't 287 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 4: know who to trust and who to believe, And that 288 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 4: was a big part of why I started the podcast 289 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 4: at the mail room of doctor Jesse Mills. Is exactly 290 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 4: what we're doing is I'm an expert in men's health 291 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 4: and neurology. I'm a physician, and I can at least 292 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 4: tell you where the science is, where the hype is, 293 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 4: and where the things that are dangerous are and really 294 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 4: name a topic, you know, try me and we'll figure 295 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 4: it out. But that's that's crazy. Oh, I do love 296 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 4: me some sleep. 297 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 2: I don't. So let's talk about it. 298 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 3: Because so I'm a night owl and I don't know 299 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 3: if that's just I saw I read something I don't 300 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 3: know where, but it was a between night owls and 301 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 3: people that are mourning people right that just wake up, 302 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 3: And there is a difference right there. 303 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 2: You're born this way? Is that correct? 304 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: Probably? 305 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 4: I mean you're probably somewhat shaped that way by you know, 306 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 4: but what you do exactly, I mean, that's right. 307 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've trained into that. 308 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean I get very creative. 309 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 3: I'm not getting between the hours of eleven PM and 310 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 3: three am, like that's those are my peak hours. 311 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: Go with it, oh, I do. 312 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 2: There's no stopping me. I love it because you know 313 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 2: why the world is quiet. 314 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 3: I don't get emails and I can really I just 315 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 3: focus and I just let it be. I did fight 316 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 3: it in the beginning because I was like, this is 317 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 3: not normal. But it's okay. 318 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: So far I don't see anything wrong. Yeah, I mean, 319 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: you know, I. 320 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 4: Mean I will say a little bit is that you know, 321 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 4: we were evolutionarily we were born to sleep at night, 322 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 4: and we have certain hormones that peak to do that. 323 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 4: The big ones that we hear all about are melatonin 324 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 4: and then you know, and so that's that does help 325 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 4: rewire us to when it's dark we go to sleep, 326 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 4: and when it's light we wake up. Naturally, we didn't 327 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 4: have alarm clocks twenty thousand years ago. But you know, 328 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 4: there's so many things that we've evolved past with technology 329 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 4: and everything else that people can have long, healthy lives 330 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 4: without really hurting themselves too much by being a night out. 331 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 4: The hard part is just making sure you're getting enough sleep. 332 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 4: Not just okay, so talk to me about that. 333 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 3: But the eight hours, that's a myth. Not everybody needs 334 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 3: eight hours. 335 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: One hundred percent correct, Yeah, I mean American? Oh go ahead. 336 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 2: Oh I've been sober for seven years now. 337 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 1: Awesome, damn for you, thank you. 338 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 3: And I feel like since my sobriety, I don't need 339 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 3: eight hours. 340 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 2: I need five hours. Yeah, but when I was not sober, 341 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 2: boy did I sleep? 342 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 1: Yeah? Well there you go. 343 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 4: Although, so you mentioned a couple of things to that. 344 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 4: First of all, that the American Academy of Sleep Medicine 345 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 4: suggests most people do well with about sixty eight hours. Yes, 346 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 4: so eight hours is a myth in that. Yeah, I don't. 347 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 4: I can't remember the last time I've slept eight hours, 348 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 4: I mean, and then you know, as a surgical resident 349 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 4: training twenty years ago, when I was working thirty six 350 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 4: hours in a row, you know, I'm still making up 351 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 4: for that sleep. But ultimately, even today, you know I 352 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 4: still probably I am optimal at about six and a 353 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 4: half to seven hours. 354 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 1: I feel great, Okay. 355 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 4: I also don't drink, And I think that's the second 356 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 4: part of this is I think your sobriety has turbocharged 357 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 4: your ability to get more quality sleep, because one of 358 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 4: the things that alcohol does is that it never allows 359 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 4: your brain to get into what we call deep delta 360 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 4: or that are em sleep. You always stay in between 361 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 4: what we call stage two and stage three, where you're 362 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 4: kind of nappy, but you're not recharging all those hormones 363 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 4: you need, you're not recharging your energy levels, and and 364 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 4: so eight hours of unsober sleep, it's way worse than 365 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 4: five hours of stone cold. I'm going to hit it, 366 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 4: and I bet you're if you put on a sleep study, 367 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 4: I bet you're way more deep delt to sleep than 368 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 4: you are what you are now than you were when 369 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 4: you were not sober. 370 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: So there you go. 371 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 3: I feel that for sure. How harmful, though, is it like, Okay, 372 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 3: what is the correlation between not getting enough sleep versus 373 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 3: Alzheimer's for example. 374 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, or any of the mental health diseases. 375 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 2: Any of the mental health Yea, It's a. 376 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 4: Really interesting It's kind of a chicken and egg question 377 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 4: because we know that people that have neurological diseases like Alzheimer's, 378 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 4: Parkinson's disease, restless leg a lot of these things that 379 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 4: are associated with what we call ram sleep disorders. Is 380 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 4: it because they're not getting enough sleep or because they 381 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 4: can't get enough sleep because of the underlying neurological condition And. 382 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,399 Speaker 1: We don't really know the answer to that. 383 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 4: But we know that people that have even night terrors, 384 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 4: and it can be a little bit of a progression 385 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,640 Speaker 4: from night terrors sleep walking. What we call the parasomnia 386 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 4: is things that happen that are kind of strange we're sleeping. 387 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 4: Do they eventually lead to degenerative neurologic diseases? And the 388 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 4: answer is, there's definitely a correlation, but we don't know 389 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 4: exactly what to do with that. In other words, if 390 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,680 Speaker 4: I took a guy, I saw him and he's thirty 391 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,359 Speaker 4: five and he says, you know, I'm waking up at 392 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 4: night with nightmares. I'm kicking my partner at night when 393 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,640 Speaker 4: we're going to sleep because of my restless leg. 394 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: And I do. 395 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,719 Speaker 4: Something with that guy and say, hey, look, dude, all 396 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 4: you need to do is sleep better. You're good. You're 397 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 4: never going to get Alzheimer's. And it's not that simple. 398 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 4: So we have to figure out what the neurologic cause 399 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 4: of that is. And there are medications we use to 400 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,360 Speaker 4: treat those conditions. But whether or not that's just ponging 401 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 4: their ability to sleep but not improving their risk risk 402 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 4: factors or chances of developing really terrifying their loges diseases, 403 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 4: we don't know. But yeah, I think it's definitely a 404 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 4: correlation that that leads to that. 405 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 3: I also, I mean, I know that this is controversial 406 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 3: what I'm about to say, but I have a close 407 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 3: family member who's dealing with Alzheimer's at the moment, and 408 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 3: from what I've noticed, just I see patterns, right, So 409 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 3: the patterns for me from what I've seen and also 410 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 3: other my friends of friends as well, working so hard, 411 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 3: dedicating your whole life to your career than all of 412 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 3: a sudden retiring, you know, and then. 413 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,959 Speaker 2: Let's say COVID hit and like the brain is lazy? 414 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 2: Am I right? 415 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? I think. 416 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 3: I just wonder too, Like, let's say also childhood trauma 417 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 3: that has never been talked about or that has never 418 00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:00,640 Speaker 3: been something that that person may want to admit to themselves. 419 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 3: Like I do believe it's not black and white, but 420 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 3: I also believe that it's just it could be it 421 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 3: can go back as far as your childhood if not 422 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 3: dealt with. 423 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: Wow. 424 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,480 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, no, yeah, I mean you brought up something 425 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 4: so critical I think for your listeners is that we 426 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 4: always talk about this. It guys, go back to work 427 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 4: life balance. 428 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 3: Right. 429 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 4: You think I just to keep working until I retire 430 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 4: and I'm good, and so whenever. 431 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 2: You never retire, never retire, you win. 432 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,120 Speaker 1: That's the money. Right. So that's work is that you have. 433 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 4: You know, we think, okay, I know that I have 434 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 4: a target financial retirement of twenty thirty. I'm going to 435 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 4: be fine financially, blah blah, all this stuff. But if 436 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 4: you don't retire with a plan for purpose, then you 437 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 4: should never reach Amen. Amen, we know one of the 438 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,400 Speaker 4: pillars of longevity. There's two that you just brought up 439 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 4: other than the three. Really the mental health neurological how 440 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,479 Speaker 4: do you prevent severe neurological diseases? But two is having 441 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 4: that can action with somebody and having that that that 442 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,879 Speaker 4: friend group people that if you're dealing with somebody in 443 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,160 Speaker 4: your family that has Alzheimer's, you need to have that support. 444 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,680 Speaker 4: You need to have people around you to not only 445 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 4: help support you, but also to have that longevity. And also, yeah, 446 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 4: you got to have a purpose if you retire. You know, 447 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 4: there's that old saying about the guy retires and say, 448 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 4: what are you going to do when you retire. I'm 449 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,159 Speaker 4: going to give me a rocking chair. What are you 450 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 4: going to do the next year? You said, I'm going 451 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 4: to start rocking? That is not right. You can't spend 452 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:32,679 Speaker 4: two years doing nothing. 453 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 2: Lucky. If you start rocking, that's. 454 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 4: Great because you The number of men that I see 455 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 4: that come in that start to develop worsening health after 456 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 4: they retire if they don't have a purpose is so high. 457 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 1: It's just it's so to me. 458 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 4: I see it every day in my office, and I 459 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 4: see guys in their fifties and sixties and they're like, dude, 460 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 4: I won the game. I'm going to retire early, and 461 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 4: I'm going to be financially so and I go, well, great, 462 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 4: what are you going to do? You're going your run 463 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,200 Speaker 4: for hours, you're working sixty hours and they're going to 464 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 4: go to what. And so the guys that are the 465 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 4: most successful a the ones that have a great friend 466 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 4: group around them, and the ones that have some sort 467 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 4: of plant to volunteer to use whatever services that they 468 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 4: that they worked so hard to be, whether they're teachers, doctors, lawyers, dancers, 469 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,439 Speaker 4: whatever it is, that you're going to go and do 470 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,679 Speaker 4: something in your community to give back. And that's the 471 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 4: purpose to a really a life well lived. And you know, 472 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 4: or or. 473 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 3: Or you ca can live like a Buddhist and think 474 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 3: that Okay, well my purpose is not my job, but 475 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 3: I don't think that that is for people, especially. 476 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 2: In the United States. 477 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 3: I've lived all over the world, and it's so interesting 478 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 3: to me because in the United States, you know, we 479 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,520 Speaker 3: we definitely we put hustle culture up on a pedestal, 480 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,880 Speaker 3: and in Europe it's so the opposite. It's like they 481 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 3: think we're nuts and they put family first, and truly 482 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 3: put family first. They don't they don't revolve their life 483 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 3: around work. You know, it's the other way around. It's like, 484 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 3: you know, when we take vacations. I mean I could 485 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 3: speak for myself, it takes me weeks to wind down, 486 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 3: Like I can't really settle down. By the time I 487 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 3: settle down, I have to come back to work or 488 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 3: it's like it really takes a lot of me being 489 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 3: present to really be in stillness and meditation. It's like 490 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 3: there is this addiction to hustle culture that I feel like, 491 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 3: I think a lot of people can relate to. But 492 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 3: I don't think that's why we put our whole worth 493 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,679 Speaker 3: and our whole purpose into our job. That is not 494 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,919 Speaker 3: sustainable because especially as athletes, athletes do we have a 495 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 3: taking time bomb. You know quick, it's quick, it's not 496 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 3: it's long. It's not very it's not long lived. Put 497 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 3: it that way. 498 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 4: That's right, right, Yeah, But but you know you brought 499 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 4: up a point so that first of all, I think 500 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 4: that's terrible that you can't take a vacation. But I understand. 501 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 2: But what you can't I can't to line down? 502 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, right, I did it. 503 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 4: What do you do every day for you know, give 504 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 4: your It sounds like I heard yoga meditation. So what 505 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 4: do you do when you're just you? For thirty minutes 506 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 4: a day that makes you who you are, so that 507 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 4: you could at least count it as a little bit 508 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 4: of you time. 509 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 3: Because there's something journal meditation, I mean, I mean that 510 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,680 Speaker 3: is that to me is not work. It's actually work 511 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 3: too well. First of all, therapy is like a weekly thing. 512 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 3: I have an energy person I work with, which is 513 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 3: also a weekly thing. So I find that that's giving 514 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 3: back to me for sure. 515 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: I love that. I love thank you. 516 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean you have to you have to build 517 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 4: in that time so that you can take care of 518 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 4: everybody else for sure, with at work and with your 519 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 4: home commitments to say, and that's the biggest thing, I 520 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 4: mean there is that that really big part of mental health. 521 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 4: We worry about this this caretaker's burden, where if you 522 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 4: are taking care of somebody the chronic illness, whether it's 523 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 4: a child, a parent, a brother, a sister, of a partner, 524 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 4: you know you've got to figure out how to say, Look, 525 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 4: I can't do I can't do this for you until 526 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,639 Speaker 4: I get thirty minutes a day where I can play guitar, 527 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 4: or I can meditate, or I can pray, or I 528 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 4: can go to the gym or you know anything. 529 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,679 Speaker 1: Where it's just this is all my time, so. 530 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 4: That the other twenty three and a half hours a 531 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 4: day i'm everybody else's. 532 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 1: That's you know, that's agree. 533 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 4: But you know, you did touch on something that we've 534 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 4: never quite figured out in this country, and it's there's 535 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 4: a lot of probably baked in the hustle culture is 536 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 4: part of it. You know, we don't we don't have 537 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 4: quite the same pension and retirement plans and universal health 538 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 4: care that the Europeans have where you can do that. 539 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 1: But you're right. 540 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,000 Speaker 4: If you look at all these longevity zones in the country, 541 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 4: they're not for the most part. There's one in southern California, 542 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 4: the Adventists, which you know, I mean, that's a culture 543 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 4: that's all about family. It's all about being together, not 544 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 4: moving away. Obviously their diet is fantastic, they don't drink, 545 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 4: but it's that unity and that they have each other's back, 546 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 4: and I think that's what you see in these other zones, 547 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 4: whether it's in whether it's in Japan, or whether it's 548 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,120 Speaker 4: in Sardinia or those areas where they never they they 549 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 4: every day they take time for themselves. You know, they 550 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 4: have their their afternoon rituals, star being everywhere. Yes, this's 551 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 4: they're walking uphill to get their espress. So all of 552 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 4: those things, you know, we have to figure ou how 553 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,400 Speaker 4: to bake that into our hustle culture and do it 554 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,639 Speaker 4: when nobody's looking right. That's one of the other things 555 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 4: that we have here. I am looking at you on camera. 556 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 4: We're all you know, we're all doing this right now, 557 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 4: very publicly. And yet you know, when I'm off camera, 558 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,879 Speaker 4: the stuff I do to be me, it's just about me, 559 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 4: you know. And that's that's what you know. Greatness and 560 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 4: wellness is made when no one's looking right. You're just 561 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 4: are not telling us what you're doing, but just doing it. 562 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 4: You know that you own that little bit of yourself. 563 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 2: Lead by example, you mean, like, yeah. 564 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,719 Speaker 1: A little bit, yeah, lead by example, and just do 565 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: you do you? 566 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 4: And that's right, you know. Don't open up your feeds 567 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:37,399 Speaker 4: first thing in the morning. 568 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 2: Oh god, I know, right, are sleeping to the phone. 569 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,159 Speaker 2: Let's talk about all that, shall we? 570 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: Yah? Yeah? 571 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 2: How bad is that for you? Like? 572 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 3: Is opening up? Is your phone worse than let's say, 573 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 3: falling falling asleep to television? 574 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: I don't oh gosh, no, I don't think it is? 575 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: Is great? 576 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,880 Speaker 4: I mean, the idea of the electromatic magnetic waves being 577 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 4: by your ears and stuff is it's pretty weak data 578 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 4: worries about that. 579 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 2: Oh thank god. 580 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 3: I have a loud French bulldog who snores so loud 581 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 3: I have to sleep sometimes in my EarPods, and I 582 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 3: was like, oh, this can't be good for my brain. 583 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: You need sepap for your frenchie. 584 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 2: She runs world. 585 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:19,199 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm her dog. You know, I understand that we, 586 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 4: my wife and I call ourselves service humans to our 587 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,720 Speaker 4: two animals are two. 588 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 2: Dogs exactly, and they're both. 589 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 4: Standard poodles, so they're like the perfect service dog. But 590 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure we do more for their mental health. 591 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 4: I don't know, it's probably fifty to. 592 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 2: Fifty for sure. It's me. It's for me. It's for me. 593 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, but but I hear you. 594 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I think the phone thing. And then you know, 595 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 4: do you do you read? I mean, I part of me, 596 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,399 Speaker 4: what I who I am, is that I've got to 597 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 4: read every night, something non medical, usually a novel, some 598 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 4: poetry maybe something, uh. And I do it on my 599 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 4: iPad because I got rid of books a long time ago, because. 600 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: It's the light and it's the this. 601 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,879 Speaker 4: And then you know, I don't want to wake my 602 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 4: wife up and so and so far I sleep pretty well, 603 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,320 Speaker 4: and I've asked certainly people that have dedicated their lives 604 00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 4: to sleep. 605 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 1: Medicine doesn't seem to be that big of a deal. 606 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 2: So just you know, even sleeping with air pods, it's 607 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 2: not a big deal. 608 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 1: You don't think that's a big deal? 609 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, but does it? But could it be? But like 610 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 2: the isn't there like some sort of. 611 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 1: Way? 612 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:21,920 Speaker 2: Yes, thank you? 613 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 3: I mean I even have and I fall for it, 614 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,320 Speaker 3: like I am the best person. If you ever want 615 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 3: to influence me, you definitely can. I am definitely influenced. 616 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 3: But I bought these little like not on these air pods. 617 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 3: I've got a couple of peers and I have these 618 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 3: metal things because I think it was on whether doctor 619 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 3: Huberman or somebody. I don't know, it was some I 620 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 3: hear bs, but like I was, like, you know, what's 621 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 3: better safe than sorry. 622 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 2: I even have this behind my phone. 623 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 3: Like just in case I have you see that little thing. 624 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 3: I don't even think that's gonna matter, though I think 625 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 3: we're all going to die of Wi Fi. 626 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:54,960 Speaker 1: There you go, Well, here's the deal. 627 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 4: I mean, I think with any anything, whatever you apply 628 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,479 Speaker 4: it to, anything, is that you got to get your 629 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 4: fundamentals down first. So you're telling me you're sleeping five 630 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 4: hours at a night, I'm like, okay, I'll give you that, 631 00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,639 Speaker 4: because it sounds like it's sleep by six, all right, 632 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 4: so push it towards six. But but the bottom of 633 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 4: seven is if you're well, there you go. Now it's 634 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 4: getting better. I like this, we're yeah, now we're cool. 635 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 4: But but yeah, focus on the fundamentals before you worry 636 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 4: about the little micro. 637 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,360 Speaker 2: Stuff right right right, you. 638 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 4: Know, it's whatever, whatever the question is, the answer is 639 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 4: always eat, move, sleep, and then maybe sex, you know, 640 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,200 Speaker 4: but something where you can live. 641 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: Along that my life. 642 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 2: Well that's okay. 643 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,639 Speaker 1: I mean they're different ways. 644 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 4: Sex is you know, that's a whole other episode podcast. 645 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 4: But the answer is that all of those those are 646 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 4: the fundamental building blocks of life. And so if you 647 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 4: get your nutrition down and you're still thinking you're gonna 648 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 4: worry about the little sound ways that are coming out 649 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 4: of your devices, cool, worry about that, but get your nutrition. 650 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 1: Down right right right right? 651 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 652 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 3: Control really sometimes you just have to let go, right, 653 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:09,120 Speaker 3: that's right, that's right. How much exercise is really needed 654 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 3: let's say for you know, men, women in middle aged. 655 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, the answer is so all over. I mean, the 656 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 4: scientific answer is more than five minutes. 657 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:18,800 Speaker 1: Right. 658 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 4: In other words, anything you do today is better than 659 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 4: what you did yesterday. If you're not exercising at all, 660 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 4: there are So this is where the whole world gets 661 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 4: focused on. Okay, I heard yesterday I shouldn't do high 662 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 4: intensity where I should do zone two training where my 663 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 4: heart rate's always about one hundred and thirty for an 664 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 4: hour a day, or now I should do tobata or 665 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 4: the hit exercises because it's better to bam bam bam intense. 666 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 4: And the answer is whatever exercise that you can continue 667 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 4: to do that you don't feel as work, that's the 668 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 4: right amount and that's the right quantity. 669 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 1: So find something you love. 670 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 4: I mean, like you didn't think about this when you're 671 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 4: on the I mean look at think about you and 672 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 4: you've I mean you've been an athlete your whole life 673 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 4: and a d answer your whole life. Right, So when 674 00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 4: you're playing on the playground and you developing these skills, yeah, 675 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 4: and think about man, I hope I can do this 676 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 4: when I'm you know, thirty forty sixty eighty. You just 677 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 4: did it because it was fun as heck. 678 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,400 Speaker 2: And that's why I danced. 679 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. 680 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 4: So you got to figure out what brings you joy. 681 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 4: Find the joy first, and then backfill in the exercise. 682 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,120 Speaker 4: I'll give you example. I know i'll over share a 683 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 4: little bit, but I had a couple about a year ago. 684 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: My son who's in college. 685 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 4: He's twenty one years old, so you know, he's more athletic, 686 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 4: just the fact that I'm fifty five years old. He said, Dad, 687 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 4: we should run a marathon together. Well, I when I 688 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 4: was in medical school thirty years ago, I was a 689 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,040 Speaker 4: distance runner and I was an okay runner. But I said, Shine, 690 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 4: I'll train for the marathon with you. But I actually 691 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 4: I like lifting weights, I like doing peloton. I don't 692 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 4: love running. But I did it, and I and we 693 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,239 Speaker 4: finished the marathon. And that was three weeks ago, and 694 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 4: I just I've just been back at the gym every 695 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 4: day to build up. I mean, I lost like twenty 696 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 4: five pounds. And it's because I changed from thinking I was, 697 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 4: you know, somewhat athletic and building up muscle mask because 698 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 4: we know from a longevity perspective, it put my longevity 699 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 4: dog or hat on. We know that skeletal exercise, weight 700 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 4: bearing exercise, grip strength, all that stuff great indicator of longevity, 701 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 4: more than just putting in twenty six miles, you know, 702 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 4: every Sunday. And so I realized, though, the joy for 703 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 4: what I did was I got to do something really 704 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,560 Speaker 4: cool with my son, right, he's he's my guy, and 705 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 4: he is he's why I do what I do. 706 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 1: I have two boys, we both have very different interests. 707 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 4: They both have very different interests, but the activities I 708 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 4: do with them, that's what brings me joy. 709 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 1: So that's what it's all about. 710 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 4: And so whatever that is, whether it's lifting weights, dancing, 711 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 4: which you know, I don't know how to do it all, 712 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 4: so obviously I need some help from you. 713 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 2: If you can walk to dance, it's you, that's right. 714 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 3: Well, you can run a marathon right right left, right, 715 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 3: left right left opposition. 716 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 2: You can definitely dance. 717 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:52,720 Speaker 1: See there you go. Well that's from your lips. We'll see. 718 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 4: But the point is yet, Yeah, exercises if you have 719 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,680 Speaker 4: to work at it. If you're like I hate doing this, 720 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 4: let's keep trying until you find something you like. If 721 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 4: you don't like pickleball, try swimming. If you don't like swimming, 722 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 4: try biking. 723 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 2: If you don't like moving, well, then don't worry. 724 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: That's right. 725 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,800 Speaker 3: For some people, they may like doing like they may 726 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 3: just like sitting in watching Netflix. 727 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 2: Again, that's okay, and that too. 728 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 4: So that I so, here's the other secret to longevity 729 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 4: and how I practice medicine is just that I'm not 730 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 4: gonna look, you know what you have to do if 731 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 4: you want to live a long time. But if you're 732 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 4: going to be unhappy exercising thirty minutes a day so 733 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 4: you can live three years longer, five years longer, then 734 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 4: don't just be you know, don't let people stress you 735 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 4: out telling you you have to be well. I actually 736 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,120 Speaker 4: don't like the word wellness that much because it always 737 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 4: seems like you get something to achieve instead of just 738 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 4: living your damn life. Like balance like balance, Yes exactly, 739 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 4: these are things are that's right. These are things that 740 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 4: we're being forced to think that we have to do 741 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 4: because these people are telling is that this is how 742 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 4: you're going to be well. 743 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,520 Speaker 2: It's unattainable. It's not unattainable. 744 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 3: You can't be consistently this this right like it's it's 745 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 3: it's how do you do that, like, we're humans and 746 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 3: we evolve and shit happens. 747 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 1: Well put well, put right. 748 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, And if you're going to stress about wellness, that's 749 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 4: exactly the opposite of what you need to do. 750 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 3: You might even, yeah, you might die prior to whenever 751 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 3: that what that year is or however long because stress 752 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 3: is a number one killer? 753 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 2: Is that still hate? 754 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:29,760 Speaker 3: Right? 755 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 4: Yeah? 756 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: I mean well sure in some ways. I mean stress. 757 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 4: If you look at it, cancer number one killer, but 758 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 4: there's huge stress. Look to that heart disease very close, 759 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 4: number two killer. These days, we've done so good at. 760 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 2: Treating related to stress. 761 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 4: Any of these are like you, like we started with, 762 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 4: you know, talk to me about chronic inflammation and stress. 763 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 4: If I show if you show me stress, I'll show 764 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 4: you chronic inflammation. I'll show you the biomarkers that are 765 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 4: up in people that are chronically stressed. For sure, So 766 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 4: how do you impact that that's going to decrease your 767 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 4: risk of cancer, decrease your heart disease. But if part 768 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 4: of that stress is worrying about how well you are, 769 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 4: then that's a very counterproductive argument. Like you said, unattainable. 770 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 3: I like this it is, I mean, isn't it though? 771 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 3: It's all about I mean, okay, I can just it's 772 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,240 Speaker 3: not going on a whole other tangent in a way. 773 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: But I do it all yours. 774 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,560 Speaker 2: My goal is never to be happy. My goal is 775 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,400 Speaker 2: to be content. 776 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,760 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah. 777 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 3: Because I think maybe it could be just for me 778 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 3: because of trauma I've dealt with in my past. Because 779 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,160 Speaker 3: me being content now for a consistent amount of time, 780 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's due to anything. Well, I think 781 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 3: it's because I have invested so much back into myself and. 782 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:39,840 Speaker 2: I've never done that before. 783 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 3: And I am also in the in the trenches when 784 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 3: it comes to changing my like the pattern in my 785 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,800 Speaker 3: in my brain and like kind of re I guess 786 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:57,040 Speaker 3: wiring certain things. And I have never felt so content 787 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 3: because if my parents are, you know, they're worried. Sometimes 788 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 3: I live alone. 789 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,320 Speaker 2: And like, are you happy? 790 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,839 Speaker 3: And I'm like, I have never been so content for 791 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,480 Speaker 3: a long long period of time. I would say, now 792 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,879 Speaker 3: for almost three years, no drama there is. And I'm 793 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 3: not saying it's because I was with let's say, another 794 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 3: human being or whatever, but no, I think it's because 795 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 3: what I've been doing is really, first of all, liking 796 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,240 Speaker 3: the person I see in the mirror and really giving 797 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 3: back to me. And I don't believe I've ever done 798 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,239 Speaker 3: that before. So I don't know why I'm like this, 799 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:30,720 Speaker 3: but I'm really content. 800 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 1: Wow, No, I think you hit it. I mean, you 801 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 1: put the work in. 802 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 4: You're using a lot of these cognitive based therapy, which 803 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 4: is a brilliant way to re evaluate there because again 804 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 4: there's a physiologic basis to doing that. You even mentioned rewiring, 805 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,000 Speaker 4: so you went, You're going through the exercises to sort 806 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,759 Speaker 4: of unpack that trauma and look at your life in 807 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,799 Speaker 4: a way that allows you to keep going forward to contentment. 808 00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:57,799 Speaker 1: And so I'm not. 809 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 2: Fun, but it's necessary. 810 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,600 Speaker 4: Right, But you know, the physiology of what's happening in 811 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,800 Speaker 4: Cheryl's body right now is that those inflammatory side of 812 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 4: kinds are settling down. You know, your quarter's all there. 813 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 4: Your dog probably helps a lot with. 814 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 2: That, right beyond. 815 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,440 Speaker 1: See, that's it beyond. 816 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 4: So those are your pillars, you know, is that you 817 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 4: have a job you love. You know that it's always 818 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,799 Speaker 4: going to ask more of you than it did the 819 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 4: day before. 820 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,879 Speaker 2: But it's well, I'm actually no longer on that job. 821 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,920 Speaker 3: So I retired as a dancer on Dancing with the stars, 822 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:33,839 Speaker 3: and that has been very hard, you know, to say 823 00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 3: the least, Like it's been hard, but it's been also empowering. 824 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 3: It was it's been my It was a choice that 825 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 3: I made three years ago along with the divorce. 826 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 2: That I had and then along with moving all in 827 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:43,480 Speaker 2: one year. 828 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:44,080 Speaker 1: Wow. 829 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 3: So yeah, and I've learned so much right about myself 830 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 3: through through those huge life changes that happened in a 831 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 3: span of one year. But to have been defined, That's 832 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,280 Speaker 3: why I ask about, like, Okay, but if my purpose 833 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,400 Speaker 3: was the show and the show is no longer in 834 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 3: my life, and I think it in it was it 835 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 3: was that and so now I'm learning, Okay, well, like 836 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 3: how do I how can I make my purpose? Uh? 837 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,080 Speaker 3: How do I find that within myself so that that's sustainable, right, 838 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 3: because leaving that up to anything outside of me is not. 839 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 3: So Yeah, that has been a challenge for sure, but 840 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 3: I think that there was no other choice for me 841 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,360 Speaker 3: to turn to other than myself. 842 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: Right. 843 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,360 Speaker 4: But again, you're what the tools that you learn from 844 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 4: being so successful for so long that your purpose now 845 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 4: you can use those tools, you know to build the 846 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:38,760 Speaker 4: next chapter. 847 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 2: Absolutely everything you. 848 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: Do is this. 849 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,280 Speaker 4: You know this progression and you can't stop the clock, 850 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 4: but you can you can certainly play the time on 851 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 4: the time or as best you can. 852 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,839 Speaker 3: Right, let's talsks up. I mean, I guess it's kind 853 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 3: of related. What's all the craze about mad plus or 854 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:56,040 Speaker 3: no man? 855 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, so these, I mean this goes into the longevity 856 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 4: legitvity supplements that have sort of minimally proven efficacy. Most 857 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,560 Speaker 4: of it is done in animal data. But but any 858 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 4: D plus is a supplement a well, NAD is kind 859 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 4: of in my field as a urologist. 860 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,200 Speaker 1: But that's all. 861 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 4: The sports team go Nad's Sorry, I had to. I 862 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,200 Speaker 4: had to unpack it for I didn't know if there's 863 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 4: an E rating on the show or not, so I 864 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,200 Speaker 4: just do it out. But but yeah, so any D 865 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,400 Speaker 4: plus is you know, it's sort of part of this 866 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 4: bitochondrial energy producing chain, also very critical for aging and cellure. 867 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,280 Speaker 4: One of the signs of cellular aging is decreased levels 868 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:39,279 Speaker 4: of this molecule. And the problem with it is if 869 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 4: you look at how it's commercially sold, is that if 870 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 4: you take it in drops or you take it orally, 871 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 4: it really it completely gets It's it's worthless. I mean, 872 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,480 Speaker 4: it's literally worthless. So if you take it either an 873 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:55,399 Speaker 4: intramuscular route of self injection or even IV, maybe it helps, 874 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:56,799 Speaker 4: but you've got to keep it up. This is not 875 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 4: one of those things where I'm gonna I'm going to 876 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 4: go on in an a D cycle like something else. 877 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,399 Speaker 4: I mean, and the limited gain. And again it goes 878 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,279 Speaker 4: back to before you talk about supplements or any of 879 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 4: these other things, get your fundamentals down, because even you 880 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 4: know not to change the subject. But creatine is another 881 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,440 Speaker 4: great example of something that's all over the place. Is 882 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 4: this new miracle molecule, this peptide that's been around for decades. Uh. 883 00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 4: The only reason that is becoming popular again is because 884 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 4: there's been a little wisp of research that maybe it 885 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,480 Speaker 4: helps in cognitive decline. The athletic stuff we've had, we've heard, 886 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,600 Speaker 4: you know, for decades, but only for really performance athletes. 887 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,840 Speaker 4: So you have to be at a high level, you know, 888 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,760 Speaker 4: for me to just say I'm gonna go to equinox 889 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:40,840 Speaker 4: and take some creatine and I'm gonna get that twenty 890 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,799 Speaker 4: pounds back in six weeks. You know, maybe you know, 891 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 4: maybe you can put a pound of muscle on in 892 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 4: six weeks to three months if you're taking it regularly 893 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 4: at high doses, but putting in the time. If you 894 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 4: don't put the time in the gym, you got nothing 895 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 4: to show full creatine. And so that's the probably both 896 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,800 Speaker 4: most of these supplements is that we we that's the 897 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,560 Speaker 4: first thing we want to do. Right read you hear 898 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,120 Speaker 4: this podcast, You're gonna you know, there's a Vitamin connage 899 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 4: across the street from my office. 900 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to go there. 901 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 4: I'm gonna get all the supplements and that's all I 902 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:08,400 Speaker 4: gotta do. 903 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 3: Right, No, it's never that easy. It takes work. 904 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,520 Speaker 1: You got to put the work in. 905 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,319 Speaker 4: And if you're doing the work first, then go and 906 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,440 Speaker 4: start spending the money on supplements. But most of us 907 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 4: are not at that level. I mean, I'm you know, 908 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,800 Speaker 4: I hate that. I mean, I'm even anti sports drinks, 909 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,239 Speaker 4: like you know before. 910 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,160 Speaker 2: You start, Yeah, it's full. 911 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,359 Speaker 4: Of sugar, and unless you're busting a sweat, you know, 912 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,080 Speaker 4: for more than forty five minutes, you don't need to 913 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,040 Speaker 4: do electrolytes. 914 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 1: If you get to that level. 915 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,800 Speaker 4: You know, certainly when I was training for the marathon, 916 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 4: right at forty five minutes is when you start to 917 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,719 Speaker 4: see it for a normal guy, like maybe it's not 918 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,680 Speaker 4: running four minute miles, you know, you might start to 919 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,919 Speaker 4: see a little decline that you need to replenish during 920 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,919 Speaker 4: that exercise. But most of us go to the sports 921 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,879 Speaker 4: drink because we think it's going to make us perform better. 922 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,400 Speaker 4: I'm never going to hit a tennis ball like Serena 923 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:58,120 Speaker 4: ever ever, so why would I take her sports drink ever? 924 00:40:58,600 --> 00:40:58,839 Speaker 3: Water? 925 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 1: Right, Jake, Water, thank you. Room temperature water is the 926 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,719 Speaker 1: ultimate performance drink. That's it, it really is. 927 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:10,120 Speaker 3: We covered so much today and there's still way more 928 00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,120 Speaker 3: to explore. We'll be continuing this conversation with doctor Jesse 929 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,560 Speaker 3: Mills in Part two