Speaker 1: Hey, no Sunday scaries when you got a full new
Speaker 1: podcast to listen to, right, none of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning and you
Speaker 2: have found the Second Date Update podcast. And today on Sundays,
Speaker 2: we always like to feature a new segment that we've
Speaker 2: done during the week.
Speaker 1: And this one is textual healing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where somebody may need our help texting someone
Speaker 2: for whatever reason, and we step in.
Speaker 1: You know, those texts can be hard, especially when.
Speaker 2: They're with your ex, which is today, Yes, which is today.
Speaker 2: But before we get to today, what's a fun comment
Speaker 2: for today?
Speaker 3: Audrey said, so happy I got recommended your podcast. I
Speaker 3: watched The Conjuring recently and haven't been able to sleep
Speaker 3: a relevant But anyways, I play your podcast and it
Speaker 3: always makes me crack up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's scary, it is.
Speaker 2: I won't watch it. I stopped watching scary movies when
Speaker 2: I live by myself. Oh see, I couldn't do it again.
Speaker 1: After that.
Speaker 5: I never watched scary movies. And the first one that
Speaker 5: I like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. Let's watch this one.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should stop talking about it, because remember.
Speaker 3: She gotjuring texting an X I don't know if it's
Speaker 3: a scary.
Speaker 1: We're about to find out. A new episode starts right now.
Speaker 6: On this show, we're always trying to get people together,
Speaker 6: whether it's two of our listeners for a second date yeh,
Speaker 6: or hooking up our digital producer Jake with Brook's mom.
Speaker 6: We are constantly trying to make love happen. Doesn't mean anything, Okay,
Speaker 6: it's about love Brook, and it takes a lot of
Speaker 6: work doing it every single day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6: That's why. Thank god, we have a woman on the
Speaker 6: phone who wants us to do the exact opposite.
Speaker 1: Oh, she needs.
Speaker 6: To make it clear no love will happen between her
Speaker 6: and one dude who's coming over to her place later,
Speaker 6: and this particular situation is extremely awkward for her. You'll
Speaker 6: understand why she needs our help when we do some
Speaker 6: textual healing. Coming up next text you will healing textual.
Speaker 6: Most people who need help texting are ninety six year
Speaker 6: old grandmas who can't figure out which side of the
Speaker 6: iPhone is the touch part. But occasionally regular folks need
Speaker 6: assistance with texting too, when they're in an awkward predicament
Speaker 6: and they aren't sure what to write to.
Speaker 1: One of our ninety five year old listeners.
Speaker 4: Yeah, might be, it might be.
Speaker 6: That's the whole reason we created this segment, Textual Healing,
Speaker 6: where we assist listeners of all ages, grandmas to newborns,
Speaker 6: sweet and we help them craft the perfect message. And
Speaker 6: who's emailed the show today requesting our textual expertise or expertise.
Speaker 6: Her name is Brianna. Brianna, welcome to the show.
Speaker 7: Hi, thank you. I appreciate you taking my call.
Speaker 1: You're welcome, Brianna, and we're going to be taking your text.
Speaker 6: Yeah possible.
Speaker 7: Oh I see what you did.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really smart. We're really the smartest guy on
Speaker 4: the show.
Speaker 6: So Brianna, tell us about what's your awkward situation and
Speaker 6: why do you need our help?
Speaker 7: So I just don't know what you're say and I'm
Speaker 7: hoping you guys can help me. So I had a
Speaker 7: guy over for a date. That's not the problem.
Speaker 1: That is a good thing to say our show, Like,
Speaker 1: let me.
Speaker 7: Just start that right there. But he found a gold
Speaker 7: chain in one of my bathroom drawers. It's a long story,
Speaker 7: but I look at it and I realized it's my
Speaker 7: ex boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, I can't believe your date was snooping
Speaker 2: in your bathroom drawers.
Speaker 7: Well, no, I asked him to get something out from me.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, okay, is it expensive gold chains? I wouldn't
Speaker 3: get rid of it either, how thick it like a.
Speaker 4: Thin one or what?
Speaker 7: Well, it's it's real gold, Like it's real. But it's
Speaker 7: something I would have thrown out, except that his grandmother
Speaker 7: gave it to him, like it's got sentimental values.
Speaker 1: To gosh, you got to give it back to him.
Speaker 7: I know. But well, see now you're kind of getting
Speaker 7: to exactly my problem because I texted him and I said, hey,
Speaker 7: if I entertained, you want to come grab it? And
Speaker 7: he sends me back this text and he's like, oh,
Speaker 7: sure you did. You can just say you want some
Speaker 7: of this with like one of those little squirky winky Oh.
Speaker 1: I see why it's your ex Yeah.
Speaker 6: But in his defense, you did say you want to
Speaker 6: come over and grab it. That can be interpreted a
Speaker 6: lot of different ways. I'm just saying, yeah.
Speaker 7: I did definitely set myself up for that one. And
Speaker 7: part of how I set myself up for it was
Speaker 7: that two months ago his AirPods were still here. We
Speaker 7: work up about three months ago, and after about a
Speaker 7: month I found it air pods and I texted him
Speaker 7: to stop buy and grab him like a the same
Speaker 7: kind of thing, and he came over and we ended
Speaker 7: up hooking up.
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh okay, so there's precedence for this now.
Speaker 1: I mean, unfortunately is going to come over. It's just
Speaker 1: good bound to happen.
Speaker 6: Okay, keeping X is away from Brooks House, it's just
Speaker 6: definitely going to happen.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's why you got to meet in a
Speaker 2: place like a parking lot or well parking.
Speaker 6: That's parking lot with a gorgeous view the city.
Speaker 7: Yeah. So I just I need to be able to
Speaker 7: text him in a way that he knows is like, no,
Speaker 7: that's not what I want. I just want you to
Speaker 7: get your stuff, okay, And he's coming over at sixth tonight,
Speaker 7: Like he's already said straight up that he's coming over.
Speaker 2: I understand why his response was the grab it saying
Speaker 2: then yeah it makes sense now.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's thinking that you're trying to set it up again.
Speaker 6: But can't you just tell him like no, I'm just
Speaker 6: going to leave it under my doormat, I'll be like
Speaker 6: away from home.
Speaker 7: I could, but I just don't wanted to get stolen because,
Speaker 7: like I said, his grandmother gave it time. So that's
Speaker 7: why I didn't just put it in the mail.
Speaker 2: Can I ask, yeah, is there any part of you
Speaker 2: that kinda wants to hook up with it when he
Speaker 2: comes over?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 1: Just jacket?
Speaker 6: Okay, No, I.
Speaker 7: Mean that's a fair question. But yeah, if you've been
Speaker 7: there the last time, you would have understood why I did. Not.
Speaker 1: Like what was the last thing that was said between
Speaker 1: you two.
Speaker 7: The last thing was that he was going to come
Speaker 7: over at sixth and he said I'm going to give
Speaker 7: you something of mine too.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was kind of gross.
Speaker 6: And yeah, okay, so the wheels are already in motion.
Speaker 6: You're trying to make it really really clear to him
Speaker 6: that nothing is going to happen, and there's no lingering.
Speaker 7: Feelings there right like, you're not coming inside. I'm just
Speaker 7: going to hand it to you at the door. Peace out,
Speaker 7: go have a great life.
Speaker 4: It should be easy.
Speaker 5: What you should just be able to say, Hi, I
Speaker 5: don't have a lot of time.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 2: I think you need more than that. I think you
Speaker 2: need to say i'm short on time. I've got a
Speaker 2: date at six thirty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, boyfriend already?
Speaker 2: Right then?
Speaker 7: Does that not make me kind of sound like a why.
Speaker 4: Do you care?
Speaker 1: It's your ex? You know?
Speaker 3: You're right, You're right.
Speaker 6: It sounds like you're trying to make him jealous a.
Speaker 7: Little bit like that's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, can you say I poop my pants?
Speaker 4: I have to change?
Speaker 1: No, I would.
Speaker 7: Probably take care of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's hope he doesn't have a rebuttal for that.
Speaker 6: Can you be like really direct and say I think
Speaker 6: you're reading too far into this?
Speaker 7: I mean, yeah, just be like you don't flatter yourself?
Speaker 1: Yeah, or you really want him to leave you alone?
Speaker 2: You say, well, last time was pretty disappointing, so I
Speaker 2: don't want to go down that road again.
Speaker 3: Honestly, that's how my friends text their X like every
Speaker 3: time was disappointing, and that would not.
Speaker 7: Be a lie.
Speaker 6: So so let's let's be direct. Sprinkle a little bit
Speaker 6: of honesty in there too, And Okay, so you're.
Speaker 4: Bad in bed?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's probably take it as a joke.
Speaker 7: Well, I don't wan him to take it as a
Speaker 7: personal challenge to.
Speaker 6: Be like a huh, we probably should sprinkle a little
Speaker 6: bit of humor in there too, just to lighten the blow.
Speaker 6: So if you're like, well, slow down, Romeo, last time
Speaker 6: didn't go so well, you're reading too far into this, okay.
Speaker 7: Or I just want to hand it off at the door,
Speaker 7: like that's it.
Speaker 1: About last time didn't leave me wanting more? We're good.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I still feel like if you put yourself in a
Speaker 5: short time window, like I only have two minutes, you know,
Speaker 5: something like that got.
Speaker 4: A helper now.
Speaker 7: I think it might because I didn't say so. He
Speaker 7: was like, I'm coming over tomorrow at six, Like I
Speaker 7: didn't invite him over.
Speaker 6: Okay, you can say I like the one that Brookes
Speaker 6: said last time didn't leave me? What did you say?
Speaker 1: I said, last time didn't leave me wanting Moore?
Speaker 6: Yeah, we're good. We're good.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is going to be really simple.
Speaker 4: He should read that and go, oh okay, no worries.
Speaker 6: See at six did you send it?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay, this may be the most boring.
Speaker 1: UH want to right back, and he says, okay, it's like.
Speaker 4: I have a great day. Okay.
Speaker 6: I mean that would be the smoothest textual healing we
Speaker 6: ever did. But I can't believe I'm hoping for boring
Speaker 6: as we continue, but if he responds to that when
Speaker 6: we continue textual healing right after this hold on, we're
Speaker 6: just showing us we're in the middle of textual healing
Speaker 6: with our listener Brianna, who recently found her ex boyfriend's
Speaker 6: gold chain in her bathroom drawer, and the chain has
Speaker 6: sentimental value because his grandma gifted it to him, so
Speaker 6: she can't just toss it out or pawn it on
Speaker 6: eBay like most of us would.
Speaker 2: And she's actually a really nice person. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: she's being much kinder your X and I would have.
Speaker 1: Ever.
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh, what would you do, bro, because you said
Speaker 6: you would hook up with him?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean.
Speaker 1: That could also be punishment.
Speaker 6: But when she texted him to come by and get
Speaker 6: his chain, the X assumed that was an invitation to
Speaker 6: exchange more than just jewelry.
Speaker 1: Well, because of what happened last time.
Speaker 6: He stopped by, because last time he forgot his AirPods
Speaker 6: or something and they ended up hooking up. So he
Speaker 6: is coming by later today, which is why Brianna needs
Speaker 6: help making it clear there will be no romance happening,
Speaker 6: not tonight, not the next night, not ever.
Speaker 4: She's willing to give him the gold chain, but just
Speaker 4: to hand off.
Speaker 6: Yes, so Brooke came up with the text idea of
Speaker 6: sending him Honestly, last time didn't exactly leave me wanting more.
Speaker 6: We're good. Just get the chain, I get.
Speaker 1: I still love it is it is. It's harsh now.
Speaker 6: That was the goal. Yeah, yeah, Brianna. Has your ex
Speaker 6: responded to that?
Speaker 7: Yeah? He did? He did.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I don't have a smile in your voice.
Speaker 7: Yeah, he wrote, ha ha ha. Well I'm with someone
Speaker 7: you know anyway, and she doesn't have any complaints.
Speaker 4: You both went in that sense.
Speaker 1: There you go. So he's not somebody else.
Speaker 4: Congratulate him and say I'll see it.
Speaker 6: And really he's trying to make her jealous by pointing
Speaker 6: out that he has a new girl.
Speaker 4: It didn't work on us, though, but it doesn't work
Speaker 4: on her because.
Speaker 6: No, I'm just pointing out, like the point of his
Speaker 6: the ex boyfriend is trying to push back on you.
Speaker 2: Clearly, does that upset you that he's with somebody else?
Speaker 7: No, I just look, I just texted him back real
Speaker 7: quick because he's just acting like a child.
Speaker 6: But we're supposed to craft one together.
Speaker 1: To text back to acting like a child. He was
Speaker 1: just telling you that he's in a relationship.
Speaker 7: Well, I think you're right though, I think he was
Speaker 7: just trying to make me jealous.
Speaker 1: Pretend it's real.
Speaker 6: What do you what did you write?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 7: No, I just wrote where did you find her? The
Speaker 7: animal shelter?
Speaker 1: Like what.
Speaker 4: That's really?
Speaker 6: I mean it is kind of fun, but it's.
Speaker 1: Spirally.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we don't want to get like into a fight
Speaker 6: with him, right, you.
Speaker 4: Kind of escalated this.
Speaker 7: I didn't escalated. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't escalate.
Speaker 7: Does he escalated by bringing up some girl?
Speaker 6: And actually, if we really want to point fingers, brook
Speaker 6: is the one who came up with the first text,
Speaker 6: and it was kind of sassy and that started off
Speaker 6: this whole chain.
Speaker 4: New girlfriend escalated blame.
Speaker 2: I think the more we get into this, the more
Speaker 2: I'm started to feel that you still have feelings.
Speaker 4: You guys need closure.
Speaker 6: Brooks projecting again.
Speaker 7: I say, I just say no, no, no, no, no, no no, no,
Speaker 7: miss brook No, I do not want to get back
Speaker 7: together with him. I do not have feelings for him.
Speaker 7: That is that is a big fat no.
Speaker 3: Okay, I told you we should have said the fake
Speaker 3: boyfriend thing first, he beat us to it.
Speaker 6: Now you've already sent the animal shelter comment? Has he
Speaker 6: responded back?
Speaker 7: He did, Oh.
Speaker 4: God, please don't be something bad.
Speaker 6: What did he say?
Speaker 7: It's not bad, it's just stupid. It's like, if somebody
Speaker 7: sounds jealous, I can bring her with me and we
Speaker 7: can just act like adults and I get my necklace.
Speaker 7: I mean.
Speaker 2: Playing the mature card, right, That's what your guys fights
Speaker 2: were like when you were dating.
Speaker 6: Yeah, who's the anyone? And who's so mature to bring
Speaker 6: your new girlfriend to your ex girlfriend's apartment and parade
Speaker 6: her in front of you?
Speaker 4: I'm mature. Burn Yeah, it's like a.
Speaker 2: Sarcastic Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4: Jealous of his I love this too much.
Speaker 6: Okay, so what do we right back to respond to
Speaker 6: that with?
Speaker 7: Actually already texted him.
Speaker 6: The point of this segment.
Speaker 1: You call this for help. I don't care what.
Speaker 6: Did you say.
Speaker 7: I just I just said, please really don't bring her
Speaker 7: over here. I don't need her over here because we've
Speaker 7: already had the apartment's breaks with pests.
Speaker 4: Sprays.
Speaker 1: Mean about her.
Speaker 4: You are really good at burns there.
Speaker 7: I'm trying.
Speaker 2: Well, shoot, now you got to pay for pest, like
Speaker 2: she's some sort of cockroach or something.
Speaker 7: Wait for him, right, yeah, trust me, believe me, he's
Speaker 7: probably worse than that. If he's dating her, she's probably
Speaker 7: worse than that.
Speaker 2: Okay, but you were dating him at some point, so
Speaker 2: doesn't that make you on the same level as her?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it makes it worse.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but you know he was batting out of his
Speaker 7: league when he was with me, and.
Speaker 6: He's downgraded and all right, right yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 7: He said, you got to be kidding me. He said,
Speaker 7: she's not going to be with me, but I'm going
Speaker 7: to bring my overnight bag just in case.
Speaker 2: What Now, we went back to him hooking up with you.
Speaker 1: He got he got off track there.
Speaker 6: He's willing to take whatever he can get. Don't write
Speaker 6: anything back yet, Brionna. Okay, don't don't write anything. We
Speaker 6: want to help you craft next text one.
Speaker 2: I don't think this girlfriend even exists, to be honest,
Speaker 2: I think she's made up.
Speaker 6: That might be true, Okay, it might be true, but
Speaker 6: at this point he thinks he's coming over and he's
Speaker 6: gonna stay the night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Because they're both being sassy back and forth, there's
Speaker 2: like a tension thing going on.
Speaker 4: How do you stop the tension? Does anybody know, Brianna?
Speaker 6: What are your thoughts right now?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 6: What are you?
Speaker 7: Well, Like, I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, you
Speaker 7: know what, it's fine. I can handle this. Like he
Speaker 7: can just come over and watch a movie or whatever.
Speaker 7: But that's it.
Speaker 6: Now You're gonna invite him in to watch a movie
Speaker 6: with you?
Speaker 7: Yeah, because then that way he can see is like
Speaker 7: okayng of the movie and then he's gonna like close
Speaker 7: in and I'm gonna be like, Pisa, you need to go.
Speaker 4: The next morning.
Speaker 1: In the ten minutes that I've known you, I know.
Speaker 7: I think it'll be fine. I really do. I think
Speaker 7: if you can just come over.
Speaker 6: And you can take your shirt off, come inside, and
Speaker 6: then nothing will happen. I promise.
Speaker 4: Watch him forget the chain after all this.
Speaker 7: Oh god, so that's fine. So I just said him
Speaker 7: the movie text, tell me I can come over every week.
Speaker 4: You already said else you didn't have to do a
Speaker 4: lot of work today, Guys, are you.
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 7: Look you don't understand. I've already said, like I'm not
Speaker 7: going to do anything. You're gonna come over to watch
Speaker 7: a movie and I'm going to kick him the beep out.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, there's gonna be a lot of beep and that.
Speaker 1: You set those boundaries strong.
Speaker 7: Exactly, and so like just I'll just keep you guys pusted.
Speaker 7: What happened?
Speaker 2: Okay, I think we know what's gonna happen, But if
Speaker 2: you want to call us and confirm it, that would
Speaker 2: be great.
Speaker 7: You know what, You can say that, but trust me,
Speaker 7: you are going to be shocked and amazed because I
Speaker 7: am not doing anything. I'm kicking him out.
Speaker 1: I shocked and amazed if that actually happened. I do
Speaker 1: feel like she's going to find another item of his.
Speaker 6: In two more months, when you want your second date
Speaker 6: update with your ex boyfriend, will be here. She has
Speaker 6: a sock for you, all right, so we okay, So
Speaker 6: at this point, we started with you wanting to tell
Speaker 6: your ex boyfriend that there is no chance of any romance.
Speaker 6: You could just get his chain. Now we're inviting him
Speaker 6: inside the apartment to watch a movie.
Speaker 1: With his pants and then kick him out again.
Speaker 4: Yes, you better not kiss.
Speaker 6: We're in a good place.
Speaker 7: Oh I'm sorry, but that sounds like a good plan to.
Speaker 6: Me as long as you're happy.
Speaker 1: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning well.
Speaker 6: I've actually got an update.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm an.
Speaker 6: Update from Brianna. She wrote to us. She said, dear
Speaker 6: Brook and Jeffrey, thanks again for your help. Although I
Speaker 6: didn't really need much advice from you, I really appreciate
Speaker 6: you having me on the show and hearing my story.
Speaker 4: Okay, she thinks she doesn't need advice.
Speaker 1: But she says, I wish she would have listened to it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't even here, she says. F Yi, he
Speaker 6: did come over, we watched a movie y and nothing happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah right.
Speaker 6: She does go on and say, but the next morning
Speaker 6: something did happen night after he's spent the night. I
Speaker 6: held off for a very very long time, though, So
Speaker 6: give girl some credit. That is, she almost went a
Speaker 6: full twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: Good. She just needs to lead into it. Just get
Speaker 1: back together with a guy.
Speaker 4: She's lying to herself.
Speaker 6: She says, that was the last time ever, So I
Speaker 6: hope he enjoyed it. Love always your fan, Brianna.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I can't wait for our next update for
Speaker 1: three months and then hooked up again.
Speaker 4: I found a paper clip you left over here.
Speaker 6: Oh my god. But hey, if you ever need help
Speaker 6: with texting with your dating life. With anything, you can
Speaker 6: always email the show. We'll reach out to that person
Speaker 6: for you. Rookie Jeffrey in the morning