1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to stuff Mom Never told you. From house stuff 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: Works dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm 3 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,280 Speaker 1: Caroline and I'm Christian Christie. When I was little, I 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: had this Koala bear. It was about as big as 5 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:25,919 Speaker 1: I was, and I would frequently hug the Koala to 6 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: the point where my mother had to constantly stitch it 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: up in the back. No, we were not using it 8 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: to transport drugs. She just constantly had to sew the 9 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: backup where it came undone. And in my mind, this 10 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: Koala bear had a personality of her own. She was 11 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: kind of motherly, obviously very comforting. I wanted nothing but 12 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: to to hug her and carry her around, and it 13 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: was very difficult to get rid of that Koala bear 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: when we had to have a garage sale. What was 15 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: the Koala bear's name? You know, I don't remember. I 16 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: don't think I know. I don't think it really had 17 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: a name. I had other animals that had names, and 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: I had a blank ee named Blankie. It was very special, 19 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,320 Speaker 1: But I don't know that the coalivir had a name. Yeah, 20 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: I believe I've talked about my most beloved stuffed animal 21 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: on the podcast before. It was a puffal lump of 22 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: a duck named Ducky. You and I both shared a 23 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 1: creativity with names fairly in our childhood, and I took 24 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: Duckie everywhere until I lost Ducky, and that was a 25 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 1: sad day. But Ducky did everything with me, and she 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: had flying powers, and Mom washed her when she got 27 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: dirty in a pillowcase. That was how you watched puffal umps, 28 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: and for some reason I thought that was pretty nifty. 29 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: But we've talked about dolls before on stuff. Mom never 30 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: told you, but we wanted to talk more about stuffed 31 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: animals in particular because for you and me, and I'm 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: sure so many of our listeners, stuffed animals are an 33 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: integral part of childhood, and they have a rich history 34 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: and also equally rich psychology undergirding why there is this appeal, 35 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: the purpose that they serve not just for being cute 36 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: and making for adorable stories in our adulthood, but also 37 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: why a mom can't take a stuffed animal from a 38 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: kid and wash it, why that causes trauma, and why 39 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: you can't just replace it with a new stuffed animal. 40 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: Because they will know, I tell you, they will know 41 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: that those stitches are not the same in the back. 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: Are you speaking from experience Koala trauma? I mean, no 43 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: Blankie trauma. I mean every time my mom washed Blankie, 44 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,839 Speaker 1: it was like you're gonna kill her. But then gradually 45 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: he got warmed back up to Blankie. Yeah. Sure. And 46 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: then there was the time that I'm pretty sure my 47 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: father just got rid of Blankie and made me think 48 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: that I lost it. He was already playing psychology games 49 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: with his small child. He didn't tell you that. Thank 50 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: you went up to the farm where your old dog. 51 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: Eventually they let blank you loose on the farm to Rome. Well, 52 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: let's look at a brief history of stuffed animals, because 53 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: it is a European trend that traveled to the United 54 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: States and it got its start in the late nineteenth 55 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: century with a German seamstress named Marguerite Steve. I have 56 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: one of her teddy bears. Oh yeah, not not a 57 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: not a like an original one. But I get ahead 58 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: of myself. Continue well. In nineteen oh three, Steve's nephew 59 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: created the first soft bear for his aunt, and he 60 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: came up with this idea from sketches of animals that 61 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: he would do at the Stuttgarden Zoo and Steve's factory 62 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: at the time produced all sorts of toys, and the 63 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: first plush toy that she tried to make was an 64 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: elephant that doubled as a pin cushion. But this concept 65 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: of the stuffed bear was revolutionary at the time because 66 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: it took the plush as spect of the rag doll 67 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: that was already very popular for kids, and rejiggered it 68 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: for an animal, figuring, yeah, something that people could love. No. 69 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: My mom is a flight attendant and goes to Germany 70 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: and when I was about twenty five, she brought me 71 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 1: home one of these these Steve Bears or have you 72 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: pronounced her last name? And the thing is you know 73 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: him because they sew a button into the ear indicating 74 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: that they're they're the genuine article in it. As a 75 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: twenty five year old, I was like, great a German 76 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: teddy bear for me in my mid twenties. But now 77 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: now thanks to the podcast, you know how special that. 78 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: I know how special it is, and so did George 79 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: borge felt Uh. He was an American wholesaler who saw 80 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: the bear at the Leipzig Toy Fair in and ordered 81 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: three thousand of them, and by World War One Marguerite 82 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: had sold millions in the US, Germany and England. Yeah, 83 00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: it didn't take long for borge Felts bears to cause 84 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 1: a bit of a craze. Even before World War One, 85 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: we have the bear market surge when the toy bear, 86 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: which was originally sold as a zoo souvenir, became this 87 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: huge novelty on especially on the Jersey Shore boardwalk. And 88 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: in nineteen o six there was an ad published in 89 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,119 Speaker 1: the magazine Playthings that said, any child without a teddy 90 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: nowadays is quite out of fashion. And speaking of fashion, 91 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,479 Speaker 1: people automatically love the bears. Mention wanted to dress these 92 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: teddy bears up, and there were all these patterns that 93 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: you could buy for making different clothes and outfits for 94 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: your teddy bear. Um And by nineteen o seven they 95 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: were a hip fashion accessory for chic urban women, kind 96 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,799 Speaker 1: of like how we would see women carrying around tiny 97 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: dogs today teddy bears back in the day. So I 98 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: should get that teddy bear out of my closet at 99 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: my parents house. I don't know that it would be 100 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: as on trend in two thousand thirteen, but you could 101 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: certainly try. But airline though I'm also speaking ahead of 102 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: myself because I'm calling them teddy bears. Oh, yes, about 103 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: the teddy part of teddy bears. Yeah, the teddy bears 104 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: part of toy lore. It probably originated with Morris Mitchum, 105 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: a New York storekeeper and later founder of the company 106 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: Ideal Toys, which I still I believe it is still 107 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: around Um. In nineteen o two he saw a newspaper 108 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: cartoon showing Teddy Roosevelt, the President, sparing a baby bear 109 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,039 Speaker 1: on a hunting trip. Mitchem asked his wife to turn 110 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: the bear into a doll, and he got permission somehow 111 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: from Roosevelt to name it Teddy's Bear, and sold handmade 112 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: cloth bears from his candy store. And like I said, 113 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: this was all coinciding with that teddy bear crazed happening 114 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: and bear. The fact that it was a bear and 115 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: not a different kind of animal was also a distinctly 116 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: new concept because it merged the fierce with the cute. Because, 117 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: as Gary Cross, author of the book Kids Stuff Toys 118 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: in the Changing World of American Childhood, notes, uh, bear 119 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:03,039 Speaker 1: seldom appeared in nineteenth century toy catalogs, but when they did, 120 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: they looked mean. And we're apparently designed to scare children. 121 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: Why would they be sold in toy catalogs. Then it's 122 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: like finish your dinner or I'll stick the bear on you. 123 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: Maybe it was something for Victorian era man caves. I'm 124 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: sure did not exist for the billiards room, a scary 125 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: little stuffed bear. Well, during World War One there was 126 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: actually a ban on German imports in England, and so 127 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: British soft toy companies flourished during this time, companies like 128 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: the British United Toy Manufacturing Company, which produced a number 129 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: of plush animals during this time, starting actually back in 130 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: the eighteen nineties, but moving onward. And I did not 131 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: really know the origins of one beloved toy, the stock monkey. 132 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: Did you have a stock monkey growing up? I did 133 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: not have a stock monkey. I did, but I wasn't 134 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: a big fan of it. I was like, you don't 135 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: look like a cool toy. But it turns out that 136 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: actually the stock monkeys origins are kind of hazy. Apparently, 137 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: when socks would get worn out, moms would take these 138 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: Warren socks and turn them into toys for their kids. 139 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: And in two Nelson Knitting Company got wind of this 140 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: and began including a sock monkey pattern with every pair 141 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 1: of socks, so when they wore out, moms could make 142 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: that stuffed animal. And these were the socks with the 143 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: red heel which became the monkey's mouth. And speaking of 144 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 1: very popular types of toys, like we have the Teddy 145 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: Bear and then the sock monkey. Um on the heels 146 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,079 Speaker 1: of the Teddy bears popularity. This is in between Teddy 147 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: Bear and the sock monkey. Some toy manufacturers who were like, okay, 148 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: President Theodore Roosevelt had his Teddy Bear. You know what 149 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: we're going to try to do. We're gonna try to 150 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: make stuffed possums super popular in honor of President Taft, 151 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: who apparently, when he was visiting Atlanta where we are 152 00:08:55,400 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: right now, ordered possum and quote unquote taters at a dinner. 153 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: I'm sure because he assumed that hey, Southerners eat possum 154 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,479 Speaker 1: and taters. And it caused a bit of a new sensation. 155 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: And so these toy manufacturers were like, we've got the 156 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: next Teddy Bear. It's a stuffed possum in honor of Taft, 157 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: because we all know how adorable possums are. Obviously, it 158 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: did not take off, but it is it's hilarious that 159 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: that one's stuffed animal legacy of poor poor Taft would 160 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 1: have been just the possum. But moving onward, in nineteen 161 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: thirty a Millns Winnie the Pooh became a plush toy. 162 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: And that's something that's gonna come up very briefly when 163 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: we talk about why kids like Christopher Robin, the fictional 164 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: Christopher Robin are so attached to toys. Um. But then 165 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: in the ninetties, plush toys were scarce and mostly handmade, 166 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: and then in the post war period there's more of 167 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: a focus on safety, especially in the UK with the 168 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: introduction of the British Safety Standards. Yeah, glass eyes on 169 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: toys were replaced by plastic which were held on with 170 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: a newly developed locking system introduced by Wendy Boston Place 171 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 1: Safe Toys. And moving forward, the nineteen fifties is when 172 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,439 Speaker 1: American firms started contracting much of their stuffed animal work 173 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: to Taiwan, Korea and China. So those old stuffed animal 174 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: makers in the UK and Germany sort of started losing 175 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,680 Speaker 1: out um. And so that that gives you the early 176 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: history of stuffed animals. I mean, the fascinating thing about 177 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: stuffed animals, is that the bear has remained so lasting throughout, 178 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: you know, generations of childhood's. Yeah, actually I have a 179 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 1: bunny right now. My mom gave it to me a 180 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: couple of years ago when I was sick, and I 181 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: was like, that's coldly, I keep it. We're not too 182 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 1: baby is looking. We're not even gonna touch on things 183 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: like beanie babies or how stuffed animals have become obviously 184 00:10:55,840 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: more electronic in recent years, with things like furbies and 185 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,079 Speaker 1: so forth. Let's just stick to that. Let's stick to 186 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: the classics. Caroline Bear, the Teddy Bear. Um. But what 187 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: is it with stuffed animals? Why are we drawn to 188 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: them in the same way you mentioned having that beloved 189 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 1: blankie when you were a kid. Um, And that, along 190 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: with stuffed animals and dolls, are referred to by psychologists 191 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 1: as transitional objects. This idea was actually first introduced in 192 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: nineteen fifty three by Dr Donald Woods Winnicott, a prominent 193 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: pediatrician psychoanalyst, in his paper Transitional Objects and Transitional Phenomena, 194 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 1: a study of the first Not Me possession and clinical 195 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 1: psychologist Steve Tuber sums it up thus lee. He says, 196 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: the baby knows the teddy bear is not mom, but 197 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: the baby can get a certain satisfaction. It is neither 198 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: mom nor totally just a stuffed animal. And Alicia Lieberman, 199 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 1: who's an infant mental health expert, goes on further to 200 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: say it's a bridge between the mother and the external world, 201 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 1: learning to deal with other people outside of your immediate realm. Yeah. 202 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: But when Dr Winnicott, who was very much of the 203 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 1: Freudian school of thought, first theorized this idea of the 204 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: stuffed animal or blanket as the transitional object, he first 205 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:30,559 Speaker 1: linked it to early oral eroticism, saying that children start by, 206 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: you know, putting their fingers in their fists, in their mouths, 207 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: and then they transitioned to you know, these objects, whether 208 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: it be a stuffed animal or a blanket that they've 209 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: been um put in their mouths. And in that paper 210 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,359 Speaker 1: that you mentioned, a study of the first not me possessions, 211 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: he includes this rundown of child patient study has their 212 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: transitional object and whether or not they had a good 213 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: or bad mother. Yeah, and there was one. It was 214 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: something like stuffed donkey to attach to the mother, like 215 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: symbolizing the type of objects symbolizing, you know, the the 216 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: closeness of attachment to the maternal figure. Thankfully, psychology has 217 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 1: loosened up a little bit because when it got wasn't 218 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,439 Speaker 1: a huge fan of these attachment objects, because it's basically like, 219 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: you know, you need to cut ties with the mom 220 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: get in the real world, and yeah, no, those attachments 221 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 1: were pretty much believed to be unhealthy and reflective of 222 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: the mother's failing until the nineteen seventies. But on the contrary, 223 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: we know now that they're not a problem. A two 224 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,599 Speaker 1: thousand study in the Journal of Consulting in Clinical Psychology 225 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: found that kids who had their beloved blankets with them 226 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,439 Speaker 1: at the doctor's office, for instance, experience less distressed as 227 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 1: measured by blood pressure and heart rate. So I bet 228 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: since I've been fighting off a cold, I could really 229 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 1: use my blanking. Yeah, it might make you feel better. 230 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:54,359 Speaker 1: And because as kids get older, these transitional objects, especially 231 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: stuffed animals, take on distinct personalities that help fulfill those 232 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: roles as comforter and imagining friend, like you did with 233 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: your Koala and as I did with Ducky, who really 234 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 1: was one of my BFFs at the time. Did Ducky 235 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: have a personality? Yeah, she was kind of sassy, um 236 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: but a little dim and she could only fly after 237 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: I gave her flying powder, usually in the form of 238 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: litten iced tea that I would drink obviously for her obviously, 239 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,120 Speaker 1: Well you know, I mean talk about as kids get older. 240 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: As many as twenty five percent of young women report 241 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: taking a transitional object to college. That's coming from Dr 242 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: Barbara Howard, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician at John's Hopkins. 243 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: So the need doesn't go away. We we still have 244 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 1: it when we get older for some people. There is 245 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: a travel Lodge survey that was reported on by Live 246 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 1: Signs and some other media outlets in October of two 247 00:14:55,920 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: thousand twelve, and they surveyed six thousand British adults and 248 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: found that thirty five percent of adults admitted to sleeping 249 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,680 Speaker 1: with stuffed animals. And it's not just women, because there 250 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: is a gender difference as a kids age, boys usually 251 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: toss off their transitional object, their stuffed animal, their beloved blanket, 252 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: whatever it might be, sooner than the girls do, likely 253 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: because of socialization. Um. But of men in the Straveloge 254 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 1: survey reported that they take their teddy bear with them 255 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: when going away on business because they found it comforting. 256 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: And on a related note, one intense single men surveys 257 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 1: that they hide their teddy bear when their girlfriends stays over. Yeah, 258 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: and fourteen percent of married men said they hide it 259 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: when family and friends come to visit. So there you go. Yeah, 260 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: I mean I do think that there is uh like 261 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: socially we think that it's like less okay for a 262 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: guy to hang on to his stuff. I mean, that's 263 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: still a minority of men who are hiding their stuffed 264 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: animals their lovees well and that. But that's also self report. 265 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: Maybe the maybe the numbers artificially low, who knows, um. 266 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 1: But to get a little more into the psychology of 267 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: why we would hang on to something like that for 268 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: years and years and years, it's this combination of essentialism 269 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: and an endowment effect, which is the idea that objects 270 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: are more than just their physical selves. You know, that 271 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: rabbit that you have is not just a stuffed rabbit 272 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: filled with cotton. It is a gift from your mother. 273 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: Maybe something I'm not I'm not trying to put it like, 274 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to endow your rabbit with me. Are 275 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: you trying to say that I talked to it at 276 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: night because I don't. But as an example your you know, 277 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: if you were practicing essentialism, your rabbit would not just 278 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 1: be a rabbit, but maybe a symbol of your mother 279 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: who you don't get to see all the time. And 280 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 1: then with endowment, we place more value in things when 281 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: we feel ownership over them. So even though that rabbit 282 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: might not have cost so much, if you were to 283 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 1: lose it, you would probably be sad about the value 284 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: of bit because it's linked to your mom. I know again, 285 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: I'm only using your rabbit as an example. I would 286 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 1: have totally been sad to lose with Koala. She was 287 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: she was totally a mother figure. Yeah, it would have 288 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:15,120 Speaker 1: been irreplaceable. Yeah, for children with those beloved stuffed animals. 289 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter whether you have the exact same Koala 290 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: that was sitting next to it on the store shelf. 291 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 1: It's not the one that you know, that's right. Yeah. 292 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,919 Speaker 1: And even even when you know you mentioned that boys 293 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 1: cast off those those lovees, those those stuffed animals earlier 294 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: than girls. Do they still know where they are? Yeh. 295 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: A nineteen eighties six study from the Journal of the 296 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: American Academy of Child Psychiatry found they talked to middle 297 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 1: schoolers and they found that while twenty one percent of 298 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: girls and twelve percent of boys still use their security 299 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 1: object at the age of thirteen or fourteen, seventy three 300 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: percent of the girls and forty percent of the boys 301 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: still knew where the object was. They're still like, yeah, 302 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,679 Speaker 1: it's still under my bed. Yeah. And even in adulthood. 303 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 1: There was a study which found that people experienced stress 304 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 1: just cutting up pictures of beloved objects, which I can imagine. 305 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: I mean, they measured their heart rate and uh there 306 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: the amount of palm sweat and found that both increased 307 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: as they were cutting stuff up, which I can imagine 308 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: if I were to cut up a picture of Duckie. 309 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: Even now, I feel very weird about it, kind of 310 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: kind of blasphemous in a way. Um. But some researchers 311 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: have looked into the issue of childhood and neglect, playing 312 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 1: into attachment to stuffed animals, wondering whether or not kids 313 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,639 Speaker 1: use stuffed animals as tools to get through traumatic events, 314 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: especially um parental neglect, because they are those transitional objects. 315 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: Psychologists would say between uh being very close with um, 316 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 1: a mother in particular, but as you're being weaned from 317 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: the breast. Uh. And there was a paper that we 318 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: found published in March two thousand and twelve old in 319 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 1: the Journal and throw Zoos called childhood neglect attachment to 320 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 1: companion animals and stuffed animals as attachment objects in women 321 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: and men, and their hypothesis was that childhood neglect would 322 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: be positively related to attachment to stuffed animals, and that 323 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: was not supported. Like basically saying, okay, if you were 324 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: very attached to a stuffed animal does not mean that 325 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 1: we're likely neglected as a child. I was definitely not neglected, 326 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,760 Speaker 1: and I was super attached to a lot of stuffed animals. Well, 327 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,400 Speaker 1: that also supports, though the study finding that women are 328 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 1: a little bit more attached to both companion animals, the 329 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: pets and stuffed animals compared to men. But I wonder, though, 330 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:47,879 Speaker 1: how much of that really is the socialization factor if 331 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 1: we were just all allowed to carry our our Linus blankets. 332 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 1: Well that's interesting too that you bring up Linus because 333 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 1: three of the primary examples I can think of in 334 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 1: literature slash pop culture of attachment blankets would be a 335 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,479 Speaker 1: Milns Why the Pooh owned by Christopher Robin, and then 336 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 1: in Brideshead revisited. You have a loy Sis, the Teddy 337 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,879 Speaker 1: breand that's taken along to college, and then you have 338 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: a Linus. Yeah, the boy. It's all these boys with 339 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 1: their attachment objects. Oh, that's true, the side observation. Okay, well, 340 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,880 Speaker 1: so what do you do when you've lost your kids 341 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: stuffed animals? Freak out or blank? Yeah, you freak out 342 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: because you're like, oh my god, my kid is never 343 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 1: going to recover, he's never gonna stop crying. I need 344 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,439 Speaker 1: to find that thing. But it turns out that anxiety 345 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: is really more the parents, uh then the kids overreacting, 346 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: and that parents might actually inadvertently encourage attachment to a 347 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: particular object when they freak out. Stephanie Pratola, psychologist in June, 348 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: told USA Today that kids can pick up on parents 349 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: frantic reactions to a lost item and not so surprisingly. 350 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: The Internet has also stepped in with resources for finding 351 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: lost lovees. There are sites such as eBay that has 352 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,919 Speaker 1: uh do they have special uh segments set up for 353 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: long special area like it's called toy box or something. 354 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: There's also Lost My Love e LLC and Plush Memories. Yeah. 355 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: They kind of hook you up with people who will 356 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: send you a toy. If you get on there and 357 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 1: you're like, my kid lost her purple dinosaur, some other 358 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: mom in Ohio can be like, oh, I have a 359 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: purple dinosaur that my kid doesn't care about, and we'll 360 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: mail you the purple dinosaur and all will be well 361 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: with the world. Um. But one thing, speaking though, of gender, 362 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: Even though the studies that we found indicate, like we 363 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 1: said that girls tend to form stronger attachments or and 364 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: longer attachments to these transitional objects, but I want to 365 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: know in terms of naming, whether what role gender played 366 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 1: in that, whether or not for instant kids were more 367 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:05,880 Speaker 1: likely to name Stay a lion with a masculine name, 368 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: whereas we might name a pony with a more feminine name. 369 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 1: I wasn't able to find anything about that. Just kind 370 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,639 Speaker 1: of wondering how since kids are forming these strong attachments 371 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: around the same time, but they're really forming gender identities, 372 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 1: whether or not that's reflected onto their stuffed animal. If 373 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 1: it's like our stuffed animals ourselves, you know, yeah, I 374 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: mean maybe it makes sense. Doesn't say anything about or 375 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 1: or I mean just like for for me, you know, 376 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,480 Speaker 1: I named my duck Duckie, but she was a girl, 377 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 1: but then again, she wore a dress. Now that I recall, 378 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,680 Speaker 1: I mean my koala was a girl. And I don't 379 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 1: think koalas are very gendered, are they? Or are they? 380 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: They're cuddly, they're cuddling, cuddly, So it was a girl. 381 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 1: I don't know. But my glow worm, I actually I 382 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 1: actually did get in trouble in preschool or kindergarten. I 383 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,880 Speaker 1: had a glow worm, which, if you recall from the eighties, 384 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 1: they have those squishy bodies, but that really really hard 385 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: face and and Carol was tormenting classmates by hitting some 386 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 1: of them with the gloworm. Gloworom have a name? Shoot, 387 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: probably I can't remember any of these names. It's kind 388 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 1: of tormenting me. Well, the close things out on this 389 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: episode about stuffed animal, how about ending with some totally 390 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: ridiculous advice or stuffed animal symbolism. Yeah, you're the website. 391 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,880 Speaker 1: Your tango is trying to give some perspective to men 392 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: on what it means if a woman that you are 393 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,240 Speaker 1: seeing has a stuffed animal in her house, and if 394 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: she does, what type is it? Because oh, that has 395 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,679 Speaker 1: so many hidden meanings. According to this the woman that 396 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 1: you really want to date. Um, she should probably either 397 00:23:55,760 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 1: have no stuffed animals. A classic teddy bear or or 398 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,639 Speaker 1: maybe a raggedy old one does seem like the best. 399 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 1: They say that a woman with no stuffed animals she's practical, 400 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 1: she's no frill. She'll probably offer to go Dutch and 401 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: buy books from a second hand store, and she probably 402 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,640 Speaker 1: enjoys a homemade dinner just as much as a four 403 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:18,640 Speaker 1: star restaurant. But if she has a cheap collection from 404 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: the drug store, she's cheap with questionable taste and has 405 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: cheap x is. Yeah, and watch out for the women 406 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 1: whose beds are covered in stuffed animals. They probably don't 407 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: get a lot of action, gentlemen. She's probably a neat freak, 408 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: or maybe she has a lot of free dam on 409 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 1: her hands. Oh, what bizarre things we assume about people. Yeah, 410 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,119 Speaker 1: I would say check yourself if you are cross checking 411 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:50,880 Speaker 1: the internets for information about what someone stuffed animal collection 412 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: means about them. Yeah, I mean, there are probably other 413 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: ways to tell if someone is mentally stable or not. Yeah, 414 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: by just asking them a series of questions on the 415 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,880 Speaker 1: clipboard that you carry around on your dates. Yes, exactly. Um, well, 416 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,440 Speaker 1: we want to hear though about people's stuffed animals, what 417 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: they meant to them, and also for adults out there, 418 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 1: do you still keep stuffed animals? And if you do, 419 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,719 Speaker 1: why haven't you gotten rid of them? What do they 420 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 1: mean to you? Yeah? I think right now all of 421 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,679 Speaker 1: my stuffed animals are at my parents house. But my 422 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: mom has been very vigilant about holding onto them, and 423 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't think I could ever really throw them away. 424 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,439 Speaker 1: I would feel weird throwing them away just because of 425 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 1: the meaning attached, or because they have little personalities. I 426 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 1: guess the meaning attached, it would be it would be weird, 427 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: it would be I think it would be weirder for 428 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: I would feel like I was breaking my mom's heart. See, 429 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: my mom is like get rid of everything. Every time 430 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: I see her, she's like, you know, you still have 431 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 1: some stuff in your closet at our house, right, except 432 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,639 Speaker 1: she's also giving you stuffed rabbits. She's also giving me 433 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: stuffed rabbits. I don't know. I'm getting mixed signals. Sally, Sally, Well, 434 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 1: I'll write to us about yours or your children stuffed animals. 435 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 1: Please share share any and all memories that has evoked 436 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: mom stuff at discovery dot com is where you can 437 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 1: send your letters. You can also send us a message 438 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,360 Speaker 1: on Facebook or a quick shout out on Twitter at 439 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast. And now back to our letters. Yeah, 440 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: here's one from Jennifer about our crying at work episode. 441 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,200 Speaker 1: She says, I don't see the issue unless it's someone 442 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,240 Speaker 1: man or woman who cries constantly, mainly because that brings 443 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: into question the validity of their tears. Manipulative crying is 444 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,399 Speaker 1: never appreciated. But I don't see any problem with crying 445 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: in general. Holding it in or acting like we're too 446 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,159 Speaker 1: tough to cry I can be very harmful emotionally in 447 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: the long run. Your comments and suggestions made it seem 448 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,680 Speaker 1: like there's still a general stigma against crying at work 449 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,199 Speaker 1: or in public in general, which I'm not sure there is. 450 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,399 Speaker 1: Perhaps that was the case for earlier generations, like you said, 451 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,800 Speaker 1: but I really think this current generation actually appreciates honesty 452 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: of emotion. I don't see that it freaks people out, 453 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,200 Speaker 1: as you put it, but rather help people real us 454 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,439 Speaker 1: that everyone is human and then we all have bad days. 455 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. I have to say that crying at 456 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 1: work freaks me out, even when it's me, it freaked 457 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 1: me out but thanks Jennifer. Well, I've got an email 458 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 1: here from Dave and he writes, I'm a man, and 459 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,680 Speaker 1: up until recently, I've spent a lot of time crying 460 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: in the office, sometimes at my desk, but when I 461 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: got really bad, two or three times a day in 462 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 1: the bathroom. And there's something that you didn't mention, and 463 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: that is that there may be something wrong with your brain. 464 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: I cried so often because I just couldn't cope with 465 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 1: my responsibilities at work or at home. Six weeks ago 466 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 1: I was diagnosed with a d h D and now 467 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: take medication for it daily. My situation at work improved 468 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: very quickly, and I haven't had to run in the 469 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,120 Speaker 1: bathroom and cry since I started taking the meds. Other 470 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: people may be clinically depressed, has severe anxiety or other 471 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: health problems. A brain disorder or a chemical imbalance often 472 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 1: isn't something you can think or positive talk your way 473 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,919 Speaker 1: out of. I'm not saying that medication should ever be 474 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 1: the first choice, and that you should resort to medication 475 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 1: if you're feeling a little sad, If you find yourself 476 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 1: crying uncontrollably and it's happening every day, you might want 477 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 1: to talk to your doctor. So again. You can send 478 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,159 Speaker 1: your letters to mom Stuff at Discovery dot com. You 479 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: can find us on Facebook, where we're always up to 480 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,679 Speaker 1: lots of fun, and Twitter at Mom's Stuff Podcast. You 481 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: can also follow us on Tumblr, It's stuff Mom Never 482 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,879 Speaker 1: Told You dot tumbler dot com, and if you'd like 483 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 1: to visit our website during the week, it's how stuff 484 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 1: works dot com. For more on this and thousands of 485 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 1: other topics, stuff works dot com.