1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: Campsite Media Charge. 2 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 2: Hello, Crime list Nation, I am interrupting your commute, bursting 3 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 2: into your earballs to say that it was a blast 4 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: to have the great Will Ferrell on our show, and 5 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 2: in the making of that episode, we had to leave 6 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 2: some fun stuff on the cutting room floor. Perhaps the 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 2: hardest cut was this our first ever viewer mail bag, 8 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 2: a single DM from a listener in Canada that I 9 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 2: just had to share with Will and Rory from Guelph, 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 2: specifically a town about an hour west of Toronto known 11 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 2: as the Royal City for its nineteenth century limestone architecture. 12 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 2: Enjoy this little amuse boosh to ease you into the weekend. 13 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 2: As long as we're breaking format, I'm also going to 14 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 2: read a piece of your mail with something I believe 15 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 2: we've also never done before. Okay, but I got a 16 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: DM from a fan in Canada. So this Canadian fan 17 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 2: told me to check out a criminal that my friend 18 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 2: was married to for many years. It's promising start. She 19 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: sent a link and his crime it's a weird one. 20 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 2: Here's what she told me. He would go around Gwelph 21 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 2: on his bike asking women to and I'm gonna pause 22 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 2: here for a minute. This is a crime most mad lib. 23 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 2: If you guys want to guess what a weirdo on 24 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 2: a bike in gwelp asking women to dot dot dot. 25 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 2: I mean, it doesn't sound good, but it's not bad. 26 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 3: Think something weird, but people gets. 27 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 2: You gotta guess. 28 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 4: Mine was going to be stand on the pegs at 29 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 4: the back of the. 30 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 2: The correct answer is kick him in the nuts. 31 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 3: Okay. 32 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 2: He did this seven times in April and May of 33 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 2: two thousand and seven the Facebook. 34 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 3: And they're just sneak attacks who drives by and he. 35 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 2: Just no, no, he asks them. 36 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: So here's here, you kick me in the nuts. 37 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 2: Here's what she wrote to me. After they kicked him, 38 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 2: he would thank them and ride away. It was his fetish. 39 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 2: They had a sketch artist and they were sharing on 40 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 2: the news and he's a super distinct face. Sorry to say, 41 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 2: I couldn't find the sketch. We'd be sharing it right now. 42 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 43 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 2: The cops eventually ended his low stakes reign of terror. 44 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 2: And if you're wondering how the interactions went down, because 45 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 2: I'm sure you are, like, how did this work? One 46 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 2: victim reported to authorities. She said that she was understandably 47 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 2: afraid of what a weird on a bike might do 48 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 2: if she refused, so she complied, which I totally understand. Also, 49 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 2: she didn't just comply, she said. She kicked him repeatedly 50 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: in the nuts. This is how I hope any of 51 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 2: us would just just to head your bet just I mean, 52 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 2: if you're so, he's hopping off. 53 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 3: The bike, I imagine right to get full effect. That's right 54 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 3: of the impact. 55 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 4: Yeah. 56 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. The judge, if you're wondering, wasn't amused, and he 57 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 2: wanted He was also upset because he didn't understand what 58 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 2: the motive was. I cannot be satisfied that you do 59 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: not presently present a risk to the community, he said. 60 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: The prosecutor called it predatory plan behavior because the man 61 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 2: selected women who were alone and isolated. He gave the 62 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 2: purp sixty days in jail, and because Canadian judges are nice, 63 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 2: he was allowed to serve it on weekends. 64 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: And this guy's name was Will Ferrell. It was not. 65 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 4: Oh, this is just a this is just random m 66 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 4: oh okay, got it. 67 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:04,360 Speaker 1: I like that. 68 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 3: The woman, out of fear of like not wanting to 69 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 3: create more of an issue, acquiesced and said okay, okay. 70 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 2: In the nuts, multiple t I mean, I feel like 71 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 2: that's the way you should react the situation. 72 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. 73 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 2: To make matters worse, the man's partner was eight months 74 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 2: pregnant at the time, and his wife told the court 75 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 2: she couldn't explain it either. That His explanation was he'd 76 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 2: been frequenting some porn sites that I guess that's a 77 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 2: fetish I've never heard of before. I can honestly say 78 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 2: I find it as odd and peculiar and disturbing as 79 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 2: everyone else, the judge said. And here's the sad punchline. 80 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 2: I guess do you think his wife dumped him? No? No, 81 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 2: she stayed with him for another six years and one 82 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 2: more kid before the brain started working and she discovered 83 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 2: you can't fix that kind of crazy, said the friend. 84 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 2: And they are still friends. 85 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 3: Huhe at least they're still friends. 86 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 2: On that note, Welcome to Crimels. 87 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to Crimelas. 88 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 2: After the break, we journey through the many crimes committed 89 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 2: by people named wilfare. 90 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 3: I wonder, I wonder, sorry, I don't think we're done 91 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 3: with the guy on the bike. 92 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: More there, because it's more fat. 93 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 3: I wonder for people who are like sure, I don't care, 94 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 3: he must have been like there must have been times 95 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 3: where he got kicked and he's like, really, is that it? Yeah? 96 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: He like trash talk to him a little bit. 97 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 3: Laying really really give me the give me the goods, 98 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 3: the goods. 99 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 1: To the goods. So funny because it's like, would you 100 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: if you were approached, what's the percentage of you that 101 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: would say sorry, guy, no way, mixed with I gotta give. 102 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 5: This a shot. 103 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 1: If I'm approached, I probably do. 104 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 2: You're doing it. 105 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 4: You're doing a freebie because you haven't done that if 106 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 4: you ever did. Also, you never really just straight up 107 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 4: kick somebody in the like your buddy are like, you 108 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 4: tap your knee, right, but you never you never got 109 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 4: to get out what you like. It was some way 110 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 4: that goes unleash. You'd be like, this is the first 111 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 4: I haven't really got to do that. 112 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 3: And I wonder if he had it, he had his route. 113 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: That he would take. Yeah, I guess he didn't. 114 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 3: He probably loved it. Other people watch too. 115 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: I gotta say still had another kid. 116 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 3: Yes, the people, Oh yeah, that's right. 117 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 1: He wasn't getting what he disaster. 118 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 3: We're not damaged if they didn't kick hard. Yeah, I 119 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 3: wonder is that passed down? Reddit are his kids, if 120 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 3: they are males, are they going to be asked to 121 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 3: be kicked in the nuts? 122 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 2: I believe it often is passed down. You believe that 123 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 2: is often passed down what he just said, I've heard that. 124 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 2: I've heard that at many parties. 125 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: I do have to say. 126 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 2: On the scale of like creepy things that people can 127 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 2: do on bicycles and parks, It's like I would be 128 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 2: thrilled with that if if a man and a bike 129 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 2: cornered me in a park. 130 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 1: You go, Okay, this is better than I thought. 131 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 2: All the things I think could possibly happen in that scenario. Yes, 132 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 2: being asked to kick him in the balls, I would say, 133 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 2: not even the best. I mean, so it's if you 134 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 2: get the opportunity to kick someone creepy at the balls, 135 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 2: I would say, on that positive Yeah, arguably a thrilling experience. 136 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome to crimeless. 137 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 2: And that man's name was not Will Ferrell, Will. 138 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 3: Farm, by the way, exactly the type of shit that 139 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 3: goes down in Gwelph. 140 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 5: I wondered if we all would just ride over this 141 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 5: when you first said it, I go, who will ask first? 142 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 5: Gwelf Welcome to Gwelp. 143 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 2: And that's it's a pH if you're playing along at home, 144 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 2: g U l p H. I wish I had more 145 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 2: of you or male to share with Will and then 146 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 2: with you crime Will Station. But that was our first 147 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 2: listener submitted dumb crime that rose to the level of 148 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 2: making the show. I'm thankful to this listener in Canada 149 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 2: who shall not be named, and I hope the rest 150 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 2: of you are inspired enough to write us about the 151 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 2: dumbest crimes in your town. And with that, we'll see 152 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 2: you next week.