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Speaker 1: Hey, the folks, it is Saturday, August first, and of

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Speaker 1: course people in divorce every single day in this country. However,

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Speaker 1: I'm just finding out that a lot of divorces are

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Speaker 1: happening at the airport. And with that, welcome to this

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Speaker 1: episode of Amy and TJ, where we are all going

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Speaker 1: to learn this together. Because I had no idea there

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Speaker 1: was a such thing as an airport divorce.

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Speaker 2: It's a temporary situation.

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Speaker 1: Temporary. Oh, so you got to go back to your

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Speaker 1: marriage after.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's just a it's a reprieve. It's a temporary divorce.

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Speaker 2: Airport divorce is not a forever thing. You don't have

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Speaker 2: to sign papers. It doesn't mean that you're never going

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Speaker 2: to see each other again.

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Speaker 1: Now, when you use the word divorce in front of

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Speaker 1: it with anything, it sounds bad, it sounds terrible.

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Speaker 2: It's look, it's not my phrase, but it's a practice

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Speaker 2: that's now been established for the past year. Airport divorce

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Speaker 2: is a thing. And look, we all everyone talks about

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Speaker 2: compromise in a relationship, right, that's what makes relationship work.

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Speaker 2: You don't always get to do things when you want

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Speaker 2: to the way you want to, and that's called marriage, right,

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Speaker 2: called a relationship. Okay, but apparently, yes, that can be

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Speaker 2: beneficial to learn that. But this is a trend where

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Speaker 2: the focus is more on you so that you can

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Speaker 2: do your thing, protect your piece, having an understanding before

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Speaker 2: you begin your vacation that you all like to do

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Speaker 2: things differently, and instead of one person compromising or feeling

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Speaker 2: annoyed by the other, you just separate and then rejoin

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Speaker 2: later at.

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Speaker 3: The air Okay, define this for me.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't this sound like a gen Z thing? I'm sorry

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Speaker 2: not to throw an entire generation under the bus, but

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Speaker 2: it kind of does.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: So you're saying, Okay, is there like a solid definition

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Speaker 1: I'm piecing together. What you're saying is that people go

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Speaker 1: to the airport who are traveling together and are going

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Speaker 1: to the same destination, maybe even vacation, but they split

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Speaker 1: at the airport.

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Speaker 3: I'll see you at the gate, honey.

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Speaker 2: Well, so it's funny you mentioned that because there are

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Speaker 2: varying degrees, some people travel to the airport separately because

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Speaker 2: they like to get there at different times. We'll go

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Speaker 2: through the tiers, but i'll hit them for you. Now

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Speaker 2: we can go into detail. Okay, some people go to

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Speaker 2: the airport separately because someone likes to get there early,

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Speaker 2: someone likes to get there late. Some folks yes travel

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Speaker 2: together to the airport, but then they go to separate lines.

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Speaker 2: Some people are really into their tsa PreCheck and others

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Speaker 2: think it's a waste of money, and so they go

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Speaker 2: into different lines and then meet up, perhaps at the restaurant.

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Speaker 2: Some people say, you know what, I like to walk

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Speaker 2: around and shop. The other one likes to go to

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Speaker 2: the restaurant and have a beer, So they meet at

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Speaker 2: the gate. Then there are people who will meet on

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Speaker 2: the plane because some people like to board early, some

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Speaker 2: people like to board at the last minute. And then

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Speaker 2: there is the extreme couple, which we'll say for the

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Speaker 2: very end.

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Speaker 3: You haven't hit me with the extreme one.

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Speaker 2: Now, the extreme one is that they see you at

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Speaker 2: baggage claim at your destination.

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Speaker 3: You're not in the same way. You don't even take

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Speaker 3: the same flight.

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Speaker 2: You actually sit in different places. Because someone likes to

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Speaker 2: sit in the first class likes to pay for it,

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Speaker 2: and the other person doesn't. There are couples who will

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Speaker 2: take it to the extreme. So my point is there

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Speaker 2: are varying degrees of airport divorce. But then the marriage

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Speaker 2: is rekindled and apparently is better and stronger than before

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Speaker 2: because neither one of you were annoyed at how the

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Speaker 2: other person operates.

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Speaker 1: Okay, now, do we have some expert advice on this

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Speaker 1: or is this supposed to be a positive?

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Speaker 3: Is this supposed to be helpful to a.

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Speaker 1: Relationship by avoiding conflict or avoiding each other? It seems

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Speaker 1: robes I can't tolerate you at a time, or we're

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Speaker 1: supposed to be enjoying an experience together that initially seems.

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Speaker 2: Crazy on its face. Okay, it flies in the face

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Speaker 2: of what you would think. Most therapists or marriage counselors

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Speaker 2: would suggest that you're avoiding difficulty, you're avoiding conflict. But

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Speaker 2: I think they would suggest also from what I have read,

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Speaker 2: that as long as it's mutually agreed upon and it

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Speaker 2: benefits your mental health in an already stressful time. Everyone

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Speaker 2: knows getting to the airport, going through the airport, getting

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Speaker 2: off the plane, getting to back that is oftentimes an

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Speaker 2: extremely stressful situation, but made better if you're with somebody

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Speaker 2: you love and can pass the time with.

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Speaker 3: I mean, so.

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Speaker 2: That's how I feel. But apparently, look, this is pretty shocking.

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Speaker 2: So fay travel Insurance, I don't know them. It's called

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Speaker 2: Fay Travel Insurance. They actually did a survey. They posted

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Speaker 2: this on TikTok, so everyone's talking about and do you

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Speaker 2: buy this? They say, and look, it's this is a

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Speaker 2: little clever how they phrase this. More than twenty five

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Speaker 2: percent of travelers already divorce at the airport or support it.

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Speaker 2: They support it, they think that's a good idea. A

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Speaker 2: quarter of travelers believe that it's a good idea or

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Speaker 2: they actually practice it. That seems like a high number

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Speaker 2: to me.

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Speaker 3: Twenty five percent already do this right or.

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Speaker 2: Would do it? Yes, wow, that's a lot. But you

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Speaker 2: think about we always talk about people. This is families

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Speaker 2: more more often than couples. But we will see because

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Speaker 2: you don't know if someone's traveling alone, you wouldn't know

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Speaker 2: that they're separate from their spouse. But you will see

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Speaker 2: families walking so far apart from each other in single

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Speaker 2: file because they're annoyed with each other because it's been

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Speaker 2: a tough day of travel. And we do usually get

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Speaker 2: a chuckle out of it, because well, I'll get to

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Speaker 2: the rest of the survey. We're a specif segment of traveling.

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Speaker 2: You and I are yes, Wait, we airport divorce. No,

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Speaker 2: we this is what they say people do at the home.

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Speaker 2: Were the twenty travelers already divorced?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Eighteen percent say they enjoy sticking together, but there are

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Speaker 2: ten percent who say they actually treat the airport as

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Speaker 2: date time. And that is what we do.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: We pick out outfits and shit, we are we go

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Speaker 1: nuts in an airport.

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Speaker 3: We plan it out. Do you remember where that restaurant was?

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Speaker 1: Okay, if we go to the terminal here, then we

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Speaker 1: can get over here in time to see our girl

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Speaker 1: at the bar that we are.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I never thought of it as a date.

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Speaker 1: You and I absolutely we pick out the car that's

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Speaker 1: gonna pick us up. It's a whole thing. And we

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Speaker 1: do a beautiful dance in the morning. It's a production

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Speaker 1: of how we give you it is and who's gonna

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Speaker 1: make the mimosas and the timing of it all.

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Speaker 3: It's a beautiful dance.

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Speaker 2: We smile on your face right now. Is so genuine

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Speaker 2: and real because it's fun.

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Speaker 3: It's great.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I hear some of what you were saying,

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Speaker 1: and I say, I think, damn, I hate people see

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Speaker 1: a vacation as an opportunity to get away from the

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Speaker 1: person you're in a relationship with.

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Speaker 3: Because robes that first day is all about we're just

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Speaker 3: talking couples.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, family's a different story.

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Speaker 1: Robes that first day to be at the airport, to

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Speaker 1: be able to when you go through hell and TSA

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Speaker 1: officers in the bad mood and shouts at you or whatever.

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Speaker 1: You want to be able to look at your loved

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Speaker 1: one to go, damn, they got you. You want to

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Speaker 1: be able to enjoy and that with somebody. You want

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Speaker 1: a morning momota, you want to sit there by yourself

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Speaker 1: and talk to some business travel who's happy to be away.

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Speaker 3: From his family. No, give me my word. Are you

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Speaker 3: you want to shop? Let's go. Let's go do a

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Speaker 3: little shopping and then we'll hit the bar next to it.

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Speaker 3: That's what I want to do.

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Speaker 2: That's what it is.

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Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you want to provide that for that person

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Speaker 1: and have them provided for you.

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Speaker 3: But you're doing it together, traveling together.

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Speaker 2: Look, but you and I both know that we see

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Speaker 2: a lot of folks and we have I have been

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Speaker 2: in this position as well. If you don't travel, if

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Speaker 2: y'all don't both share that same love of just the excitement,

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Speaker 2: the anticipation, and it helps get through all the stress

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Speaker 2: because you're going somewhere fun together and you're excited to

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Speaker 2: be together. And that's I think the problem. A lot

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Speaker 2: of people aren't excited to be together. We've seen those people,

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Speaker 2: and frankly, I'll be honest, I've been those people. So

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Speaker 2: it is it might be a reflection and I don't

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Speaker 2: want to judge if this works for you and it

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Speaker 2: actually helps your vacation start off better, and that has

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Speaker 2: been the justification in terms of the why you kept

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Speaker 2: asking about the why. They just say this is a

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Speaker 2: way to keep the peace. People have their own ways

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Speaker 2: of handling challenges, and you and I actually do have

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Speaker 2: different ways of handling challenges. But I hope that we

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Speaker 2: offset one another. When I overreact or when you overreact,

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Speaker 2: we soften each other's feelings or moods in that moment.

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Speaker 2: But look, they say, if you do what works for you,

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Speaker 2: you can show up better for your part when you land. Okay,

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Speaker 2: that is one school. If you say it again again,

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Speaker 2: this is a quote. When you do what works for you,

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Speaker 2: you can show up better for your partner, or at

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Speaker 2: least be a little less irritable.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. I mean, that's fine. It's that tough. What

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Speaker 1: is it saying they call it airport divorce? Because this

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Speaker 1: might be folks who are on the way to divorce anyway.

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Speaker 1: What is it about? I am going to Turks, I

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Speaker 1: have a vacation. We haven't had one in eighteen months.

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Speaker 1: I'll see it baggage claim.

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Speaker 2: I know, But we also see those couples pull side

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Speaker 2: with their backs to each other, on their phones and

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Speaker 2: not enjoying their time together.

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Speaker 3: I just okay, and to each his or her own.

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Speaker 3: And that's not a judgment on I don't know. I

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Speaker 3: think about the what do you know what we compromise on.

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Speaker 1: I am a really really early bird when it comes

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Speaker 1: to getting to airport. I I book my car based

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Speaker 1: on in case we get a flat on the way,

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Speaker 1: to make sure I'll have time to get in another

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Speaker 1: car and get to the airports to I plan out

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Speaker 1: that kind of crap. And you know, I am you're

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Speaker 1: you're not a rush person at all, but you don't

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Speaker 1: go as early as I do.

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Speaker 3: And you know what, what we do? We go, okay, baby,

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Speaker 3: what about eight fifteen? You say, okay, well can we

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Speaker 3: do eight twenty five?

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Speaker 2: Well? Just negotiating a compromise. Yeah, do I think we've

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Speaker 2: landed on our sweet spot. It's a little later then

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Speaker 2: you would like to get there, and it's a little

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Speaker 2: earlier than I would like to get there. But we

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Speaker 2: always try to get there one exactly one hour before boarding,

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Speaker 2: and so that gives you time for and that's how

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Speaker 2: we have to form a stake, map it out. Yes,

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Speaker 2: we've come to that compromise. But it took us a

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Speaker 2: little while because if I think at first, you're like, hmm,

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Speaker 2: that's not when I would leave, you know, But you

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Speaker 2: figure it out.

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Speaker 1: But that didn't take away from our experience. We work

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Speaker 1: so much, we're around so many people all the time.

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Speaker 1: The few times where we get to not have a

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Speaker 1: computer in front of us, not have a TV screen

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Speaker 1: in front of us, and we have to just be

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Speaker 1: in an experience together. I love traveling with you.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 1: It is a blast because I am joining being with you.

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Speaker 2: It is a date and I never thought about it

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Speaker 2: that way either.

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Speaker 3: But we're gonna have food, drinks, shopping.

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Speaker 2: Airport dates all right when we come back. I told

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Speaker 2: you some of the scenarios of the varying degrees of

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Speaker 2: how much people divorce at the airport. When we come back,

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Speaker 2: I am going to read for you the extreme example,

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Speaker 2: and I can't wait to get your reaction. Hey there, everybody,

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Amy and TJ, where we are talking

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Speaker 2: about airport divorces, and I promise to explain the extreme example.

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Speaker 2: I read a couple of articles about this, but this

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Speaker 2: one jumped out at me. This is a woman who

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Speaker 2: has been married to her husband for seventeen.

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Speaker 3: Years, so she's doing something right.

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Speaker 2: Perhaps, yes, She says they travel about five times a

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Speaker 2: year together and it was always stressful. Age Uh Nope,

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Speaker 2: she didn't give an age, but she said they travel

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Speaker 2: together about five times a year and that's a lot.

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Speaker 2: But they said that it had always caused problems, always

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Speaker 2: caused stress, and so they came up with a formula

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Speaker 2: that works for them. So they split up at the airport.

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Speaker 2: So they get out of the uber or whatever, they

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Speaker 2: park their car and they go on their separate ways.

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Speaker 2: They actually started beforehand with a book the same flight,

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Speaker 2: but on different tickets. So she books her her ticket

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Speaker 2: and he books hers his. He doesn't mind sitting and

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Speaker 2: coach and likes the affordability of it. She prefers a

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Speaker 2: different class. So she also sometimes knows that if she's

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Speaker 2: separate from him, because she has so many more points

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Speaker 2: than him, she'll get upgraded. So that's always the goal

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Speaker 2: for her to be in first class, and he's cool

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Speaker 2: with being in coach. Your face already is saying so much, okay,

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Speaker 2: does she have more? She claims that she can't sleep

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Speaker 2: on planes and she needs the live flat and her

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Speaker 2: husband can sleep in ten seconds as soon as he

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Speaker 2: sits down, so he sleeps anyway, so it's not like

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Speaker 2: they would be spending any quality time. So she does that.

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Speaker 2: Then they even say sorry, I said they split up

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Speaker 2: during the air port, correct. They split up during the

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Speaker 2: boarding because she likes to be the first person on

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Speaker 2: the plane and he likes to be the last. She

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Speaker 2: gets stressed out about the overhead bin space and he

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Speaker 2: doesn't care. He doesn't want to sit down because he's

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Speaker 2: going to be sitting down for several hours, so he

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Speaker 2: doesn't care. If his luggage ends up having to be

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Speaker 2: gate checked doesn't matter to him. So they literally split

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Speaker 2: ways the moment they get out of that car. They

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Speaker 2: do their own thing at the airport. She likes to shop,

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Speaker 2: he likes to have a drink. They don't even board together,

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Speaker 2: they don't meet at the gate together, they don't talk

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Speaker 2: to each other on the airplane at all. And they

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Speaker 2: literally meet at either customs or baggage claim. And they

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Speaker 2: say when they meet at baggage claim, they're both refreshed, happy, relaxed, calm.

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Speaker 2: There's been no fighting, there's been no agitation towards one another,

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Speaker 2: and they're ready to start their vacation.

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Speaker 3: So that worked for her, been married seventeen years.

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Speaker 1: Nothing you can take away from that, I mean nothing

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Speaker 1: you can if it works the works for them.

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Speaker 2: I wonder how many couples are hearing that and go, yep,

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Speaker 2: that's us. I've even seen people. Look, you see the

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Speaker 2: couples who want to be together, and they ask people

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Speaker 2: to move seats so that they can sit together. Always sweet,

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Speaker 2: We've done that one or two times. I hate ask

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Speaker 2: me only if it's a aisle for an aisle, that

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Speaker 2: kind of thing, but I have actually when people have asked, said, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's just my wife. I see her every day, happy

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Speaker 2: to be in a different seat. Like I've heard people

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Speaker 2: make that announcement, and honestly, that's two people who are

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Speaker 2: very comfortable in their relationship, very comfortable in their love

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Speaker 2: and don't mind some private time.

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Speaker 3: You remember, it wasn't too long ago.

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Speaker 1: I you, me and Sabine, and I gave Sabine my

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Speaker 1: first class seat and I was sitting in the back.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it was a tough flight.

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Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 1: It was a long flight because I wasn't sitting with

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Speaker 1: you and enjoying that experience. It's just what we're used

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Speaker 1: to and what we do. If it doesn't work for

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Speaker 1: other folks. It just from my perspective that lady I

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Speaker 1: don't want to. I have no criticism of her methods

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Speaker 1: because they work for her.

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Speaker 3: That is just awful to think about.

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Speaker 2: I just think, you know what look and I agree

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Speaker 2: with you. Everyone's relationship and we've learned this throughout our

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Speaker 2: many relationships and our lived experiences. But knowing what it

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Speaker 2: can be, I think in the experience we have together

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Speaker 2: and how much we love and cherish that time where

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Speaker 2: we get to be on an adventure together and get

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Speaker 2: through some hard things together and figure things out together.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, I'm sure I've pissed you off and you've

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Speaker 2: pissed me off with how we operate, but you learn

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Speaker 2: to do things and tackle problems and challenges together. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's just happening while we're traveling. But yes, and look,

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Speaker 2: it's not I want to say, it's not like we've

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Speaker 2: always had these like like sometimes yeah, we're not in

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Speaker 2: great moods, or we've we had a rough night the

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Speaker 2: night before. But it's so funny because I feel like

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Speaker 2: the forced to travel and the tackling of problems together

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Speaker 2: kind of makes all of that other stuff go away

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Speaker 2: almost like I know things are gonna be okay because

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Speaker 2: we're gonna get on that plane and we're gonna have

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Speaker 2: a blast. We're not gonna waste the opportunity. It's an

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Speaker 2: opportunity that you rarely get and if you can, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I'm just it's a suggestion if you can

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Speaker 2: look at it that way and say, I got my

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Speaker 2: teammate here, and we're gonna we're gonna handle everything that

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Speaker 2: this airport throws at us together and we're gonna have

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Speaker 2: a blast, and we're gonna look at it as an opportunity

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Speaker 2: to bond, even if it's trauma. Bonding in the airport

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Speaker 2: with all the issues that are arise.

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Speaker 3: Do you not do it? Most couple?

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Speaker 1: So I maybe not, but shouldn't you relish just in

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Speaker 1: generally speaking, relish the opportunity to be able to sit

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Speaker 1: with your significant other and not have kids of yours

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Speaker 1: needing something, or the phone being able to ring, or

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Speaker 1: sometime not even having a TV. It seems like some

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Speaker 1: private intimate time that we would value, that you would

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Speaker 1: want to have with your loved one. And so yes,

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Speaker 1: it's because we have a different experience now. It's hard

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Speaker 1: to understand someone like saying that my level of comfort

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Speaker 1: or pleasure in how I want to fly trumps.

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Speaker 3: Spending time with you.

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Speaker 1: And that's just kind of it works for other folks,

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Speaker 1: and maybe it's not that deep for a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: but for me, it's just saying, yeah, I want to

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Speaker 1: board first, and you don't mind going into groups two

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Speaker 1: and so nope, by like, I won't even board, like

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Speaker 1: you know, it drives me crazy when our group is

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Speaker 1: going through and we're not in that group and I've

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Speaker 1: had to you're in the bathroom or doing something. I

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Speaker 1: don't go ahead and board. I wait, I let you

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Speaker 1: hear it when you get there. But it's just that

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Speaker 1: experience is ours to have. I think about as running

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Speaker 1: marathons together, we did all the training and now we

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Speaker 1: get to the marathon day and I'm just gonna run

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Speaker 1: ahead or trying to get something. No, we're in this

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Speaker 1: shit together, and that's just it is. It is the

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Speaker 1: best date you will ever have if you think of

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Speaker 1: it that way. Yes, it's flying with your loved one.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think if we can, and I do think

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Speaker 2: it does help when you've got someone by your side.

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Speaker 2: It does help alleviate stress. And hopefully I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I just sometimes I think it's if you just reframe

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Speaker 2: how you look at things, it can actually change the experience.

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Speaker 2: So how about an airport I don't know, rekindling an

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Speaker 2: airport date, an airport date instead of an airport divorce.

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Speaker 2: Let's try that, everybody, all right, And with that, we

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Speaker 2: always appreciate you listening to us. I'm Amy Robot alongside TJ. Holmes.

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Speaker 2: We'll talk so