Speaker 1: Hi, ladies. This is Eddie Peppertone, and I just want
Speaker 1: to say I love you very much. I love you
Speaker 1: very much. Ladies. Um, let's go to Jamaica and have sex. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, now that the sex is over, I gotta
Speaker 1: tell one of you, ladies, you're so special, you so
Speaker 1: goddamn special. Oh god. The only reason I had sex
Speaker 1: with you is because I was confused. I was confused.
Speaker 1: I love the other two, not that one. Look what's
Speaker 1: going on? What is going on? My name is Ben
Speaker 1: and I'm just here to bang some babies in Jamaica. Okay, Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm Ben. I'm just an account manager. You're too good
Speaker 1: for me. Lauren b Oh, Joe, Joe, you look amazing
Speaker 1: in that dress. Where is my rose? Where is my rose?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? I'm ready to be married? Said kill Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can't take it anymore, folks, I can't take it anymore.
Speaker 1: This is Anie Peppertone coming out of character. Um, I
Speaker 1: can't take it to watch this show is you know?
Speaker 1: Well you've heard my last few. I call them communic
Speaker 1: as to Art and and Aaron and whoever the guest
Speaker 1: is that they have. It's just um, it's so soul
Speaker 1: crushing and my numbing. And yesterday in America was Super
Speaker 1: Tuesday where Hillary Clinton, the evil Clinton and the evil
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, um, signifying the rise of fascism and the
Speaker 1: powerlessness that so many people feel in this country that
Speaker 1: are now being channeled into a hateful demagogue. Um, you
Speaker 1: know that's that. That's The Bachelor is taking place amongst
Speaker 1: the rise of fascism in America. And the reason why
Speaker 1: there's a rise of fascism in America is directly linked
Speaker 1: to shows like this so called guilty Pleasures. These shows
Speaker 1: just make the populist dumber and dumber, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I can't believe they made dumber and Dumber two. One
Speaker 1: was okay, you know, you figure it's an idea, but
Speaker 1: dumber and dumber two are you fucking kidding me? Anyway,
Speaker 1: So fascism, the rise of fascism is tied into shows
Speaker 1: like The Bachelor, just ridiculous shows that have no depth,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, They have no depth. So
Speaker 1: now it's down to these two women and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: Lauren b And and Joejoe who even cares what their
Speaker 1: names are? Um, you know, it's just it's just a
Speaker 1: horror show. This country is a horror show, and this
Speaker 1: show is one of the reasons why. And I have
Speaker 1: watched every episode. And what I have to do, according
Speaker 1: to is according to a friend of mine, is get
Speaker 1: a cleanse from a Native American in New Mexico that
Speaker 1: he knows of in Taos, New Mexico. I have to
Speaker 1: go get a cleanse because of this show. Like it
Speaker 1: involves sage, it involves Ralphine, it involves prayer and meditation
Speaker 1: to the Great Source. And let me tell you something,
Speaker 1: the great Source that gives us all life would hate
Speaker 1: this fucking show. No entering, nervous Dockholm. Make sure, yes,
Speaker 1: here we go, Here we go, this rule great world exactly.
Speaker 1: My god, We've made it America, Canada and Europe, because
Speaker 1: I'm going to guess those are the main people that
Speaker 1: are listening, but I could be Asia. Hello. This is
Speaker 1: Art Marine, host of Will You Accept This Rose Bachelor
Speaker 1: Tribute Podcast along with my co host Aaron Foley, and
Speaker 1: we have a very special guest tonight, a straight guy,
Speaker 1: a friend of mine. Um you might know him as
Speaker 1: the screenwriter of Burt Wonderstone. He also has an Instagram
Speaker 1: account devoted both to a squirrel family that he feeds,
Speaker 1: and the Bachelor. Um, please put your hands together for
Speaker 1: Chad called Jim. Thank you guys. It is a pleasure
Speaker 1: and an honor, if I may say, to be here
Speaker 1: on the day following what is the most important episode
Speaker 1: of every season? Oh my god, can I just tell you, Um,
Speaker 1: the fact that you get to come do fantasy suits
Speaker 1: the fact that any of us really do it really
Speaker 1: is I'm sprung out of bed this morning, honestly sprung. Now.
Speaker 1: I enjoy Oscar weekend. I do enjoy sort of like, um,
Speaker 1: not hate watching the Oscars, but I do. I go
Speaker 1: to a party. I like an Oscar pool. I like
Speaker 1: looking at the outfits. This was so much more important
Speaker 1: to me than that this week fantasy. It's also two
Speaker 1: more weeks until I don't have to hear Ben speak.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, how dare you? I could listen to
Speaker 1: him describe himself as a child. Everyone's like a little kid.
Speaker 1: A little kid. I'm like a little kid who is
Speaker 1: about to go three other kids right now, like a
Speaker 1: self confess she felt like a little I noticed that.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's his infantilization rubbing off on them.
Speaker 1: What they all seem to be doing. They love to say, no,
Speaker 1: is there anything that we don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: in our personal lives? And it happened in the last
Speaker 1: week with anybody that's of importance. Um, did you watch
Speaker 1: the Oscars? I did watch the Oscars? Best Dress, Worst Dress?
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I don't you don't care, I don't
Speaker 1: really Okay, any thoughts on the oscars? Um, I guess
Speaker 1: my biggest thought was like, I gotta get it together
Speaker 1: because my fantasy baseball starts in two weeks. But uh um,
Speaker 1: I was happy Adam McKay. We did ved that in McKay.
Speaker 1: That was the first time I saw somebody that I've
Speaker 1: done a project with actually when an Oscar, which was
Speaker 1: that was super excited. That was excited. There were some
Speaker 1: feel good moments, you know, entrenched in the crazy narcissism monologue.
Speaker 1: I thought that was really good, funny all that, and
Speaker 1: then it was kind of like never again good or funny,
Speaker 1: but you know, I agree with you up top. I
Speaker 1: felt like, okay, and then it was like that it's
Speaker 1: so it was so I enjoyed the Compton when they
Speaker 1: went to the movie theater. Yeah, that was the part
Speaker 1: I was like I don't. I just I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like that was I feel like that was now showing
Speaker 1: people in a poor light. Yeah you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I did like Tracy Morgan as a gay lady. I'll
Speaker 1: probably get shipped for this, but when he was eating
Speaker 1: the Danish, he kills me. I'm like, I still think
Speaker 1: Brian Fellows might be one of my favorite. Like Fellows
Speaker 1: can just watch, you could just watch Tracy could literally
Speaker 1: just do the alphabet to do pretty much anything. Is
Speaker 1: it really hot in here? Am I crazy? Is here
Speaker 1: a T shirt I can put on? What do you expect?
Speaker 1: The day after Fantasy Sweeps? I do think all that
Speaker 1: pressure Chris Rock was under I thought he I thought
Speaker 1: he did a good job, right. What else could he do?
Speaker 1: Was all? I kept thinking, like, it was super uncomfortable
Speaker 1: to watch this room full of all white people laughing
Speaker 1: at for example, that segment where they go to Compton
Speaker 1: they've heard of any of the white movies? It was
Speaker 1: so awkward. What else could he do? Nothing? If you heard,
Speaker 1: you know, I would I would say, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I wanted more jokes just about other things. And there's
Speaker 1: so many like ridiculous fun you know movies I would
Speaker 1: have thrown in a couple of other jokes, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I thought it was like bordering on
Speaker 1: a little bit of overkill. But I thought he's so
Speaker 1: smart and funny that um, and he's been one of
Speaker 1: my you know, I've done stand up for so long
Speaker 1: and he's just been one of my idols for so long. Fantastic,
Speaker 1: one of the best that ever lived. I thought that
Speaker 1: was super fun in the in the yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: Saturday Live had a really funny sketch a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago about like white people, um getting honored for
Speaker 1: like in like sort of quote unquote black movies that
Speaker 1: I thought was so spot on. So I did like
Speaker 1: the sketch with like that awesome lady from Sarah Live,
Speaker 1: like attacking Leonardo with a revenue Like. I thought that
Speaker 1: was really funny. Yeah, they but I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: they always do some good kind of things like that
Speaker 1: where they're taking footage from the old movie or in
Speaker 1: some way making fun of the different Best Picture nominees.
Speaker 1: Arden did a quick, literally little costume change in the
Speaker 1: middle of the podcast and came back and it says, gay, Okay, alright,
Speaker 1: is that just laying it around or because he is gay. Okay,
Speaker 1: my personally belongs to but now I'm wearing it this day. Okay,
Speaker 1: I have to before before we get into the meat
Speaker 1: of this cuss on this, of course, because I'm probably
Speaker 1: going to go all right, Can I just started out,
Speaker 1: let's just really channel Jamaica, make graz crazy, Sandals, Sandals
Speaker 1: Resort Jamaica. Okay, you think when you want to Fox
Speaker 1: three girls and three success today is you better go
Speaker 1: to fucking Sandals and you know what sandals exactly? And
Speaker 1: by the way, can I also give a shout out?
Speaker 1: Who knew Man? Which has existed anymore? So? Marketing director?
Speaker 1: Did you watch it on? Team? Wrote it down? Man
Speaker 1: my god, Rush Man Crush Monday, Man Wich Monday. I
Speaker 1: was like, that is brilliant. I haven't heard of man,
Speaker 1: which is since the eighties. Ready to see them eating.
Speaker 1: I loved it. I feel like I'm free now I
Speaker 1: can really be free. It doesn't go with man Witch, sandwiches,
Speaker 1: rose petals and candles on the table. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that was at well. I also loved Okay, he started out,
Speaker 1: he's in his dumb and his dumb preppy outfits going,
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to be in Jamaica to do some
Speaker 1: of the most romantic things, basically like fucking very women.
Speaker 1: And by the the romance part is that he's honest
Speaker 1: with all three so they know that's the real romances
Speaker 1: doing it, but letting them know he's doing it. Now.
Speaker 1: I have a friend who anything you can't hear, Let's
Speaker 1: turn anybody here? Can you hear that? Can you hear now? Now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I can hear? Um Uh. There was a buddy of mine,
Speaker 1: my friend Laurie, kept texting me from Berkeley saying how
Speaker 1: big a boner's he had all for the night. She
Speaker 1: is a lesbian. She goes leaving into the lesbian make
Speaker 1: sure that he's back, and he there's that one shot
Speaker 1: where he's making out with Lauren b I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did a thing on Jesus Christ. But that's been
Speaker 1: all season. Well, that's the thing, because it was during
Speaker 1: the flashbacks from the early on, it was the Lauren dates.
Speaker 1: He had a pack in huge heat and then he
Speaker 1: had a huge boner in the waterfall with Joe. Joe.
Speaker 1: Who wouldn't she looked great in a bikini. Every girl. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's the whole premise of the Bachelor's like, here's
Speaker 1: all these people. Essentially, here's what I think the Bachelor is.
Speaker 1: It's a question can be asked to any human being,
Speaker 1: would you do this thing to try and find your
Speaker 1: soul mate, your lover or whatever. If the answer is yes,
Speaker 1: you now go on the show for our entertainment, for
Speaker 1: the people who would say no to And so that's it.
Speaker 1: That's the whole thing. It's all these kind of like attractive,
Speaker 1: emotionally stunted or maybe childlike, as they themselves claim the
Speaker 1: people that we're watching. Yeah, nonetheless, come on when you
Speaker 1: were the show, maybe for the experience, Like go get
Speaker 1: drunk and go to Sandal's Jamaica. I'm just saying, cries
Speaker 1: at how nice some of the sweets were in Sandal's Jamaica.
Speaker 1: Like the actual rooms look that different from like a
Speaker 1: nice you know, like a nice Western I have to say,
Speaker 1: I pictured now it's clearly the high end Sandals. That is,
Speaker 1: like when you really need some serious to happen, are
Speaker 1: you're thrown down for the high end Later It literally
Speaker 1: seemed like a place that I would I would if
Speaker 1: I got a free vacation to sand in Jamaica, Like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pass Okay, let's it just looks so cheesy.
Speaker 1: So before we even get into the dates. What woman
Speaker 1: has ever walked around in a robe? They all had
Speaker 1: their little robes on, little satin robes up top, and
Speaker 1: their pink robes and their green robes or satin robes,
Speaker 1: like no real human woman wears little satin robes like that.
Speaker 1: I wanted a white, thick sandals robe. It just horribly undertractive.
Speaker 1: Um okay, Kayla, Kayla starting out just smiling at the
Speaker 1: air there is the lights are on. All that home
Speaker 1: is a good bouncy blowout that she can't stop flipping.
Speaker 1: I can't wait till we get to the part where
Speaker 1: she said, can we start with her surprising him at
Speaker 1: the end of the work backwards thinect I called she
Speaker 1: was my secret crazy at the top of the season,
Speaker 1: you know, like that girl that that they sent over
Speaker 1: to sabotage the other to sabotage Lauren. If the if
Speaker 1: the producers are going no, no, go, surprise him, They're
Speaker 1: they're utilizing you to look crazy like it's never The
Speaker 1: show is so manipulative, even in the bumper that they
Speaker 1: use to promote the notion that Kayla is going to
Speaker 1: come over in the morning after him and jojo in
Speaker 1: the gasp where was the gasp? Gasp was in the
Speaker 1: audio booth when they recorded it too late and wanted
Speaker 1: a dass it was. It was so okay, But she
Speaker 1: served her purpose. I think that kay one had ulterior motive.
Speaker 1: She wants to be the bachelorette. I think from day one, uh,
Speaker 1: and she'll never be. Luckily, Ben is the semi racist
Speaker 1: guy who just wants to fuck a non white girl
Speaker 1: one time before engaging with a white girl that purpose.
Speaker 1: I do think that if she had any personality, I
Speaker 1: think she could have gone farther though, Like, if she
Speaker 1: had any like that was the worst date of all time,
Speaker 1: them going down the river. That was so hard and
Speaker 1: it was amazing. Yeah, it was really really good. You know.
Speaker 1: My sister brought up a good point. She was like, God,
Speaker 1: you know, you can't have one bad day. You can't
Speaker 1: have seconds. They can string together ten consecutive seconds. If
Speaker 1: you're not speaking, they can make it look like the
Speaker 1: worst fucking day that has ever. I think at one
Speaker 1: point I was like, wait, is my I hit the audio?
Speaker 1: Did the audio go off? I mean, so let's also
Speaker 1: be real, like they're Mike, the producers could say, Hey,
Speaker 1: can you guys just be quiet a second, we gotta
Speaker 1: test I have been from the get go, say and
Speaker 1: she is. She is a freaky girl. She's been my
Speaker 1: crazy pick. There's no there there you were. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: we call them sociopaths in the planet Earth. But the
Speaker 1: reason being, I think, uh or one of the most
Speaker 1: telltale signs of a sociopath as a thing called duper's delight,
Speaker 1: which is, once you've told the deceit and it's been
Speaker 1: perceived as true, you'll smile. Their images of Bill Clinton
Speaker 1: doing this, so when he said I did not have
Speaker 1: sex with that girl O J with the glove all
Speaker 1: this ship right, Duper's delight, Like that could be the
Speaker 1: name of this podcast, a band called duper if you
Speaker 1: if you go back and look, I think I probably
Speaker 1: have a picture of this on my phone somewhere. Uh.
Speaker 1: The moment right after Kayla is dumped, she produces a
Speaker 1: giant yes she does smiles, which lets me know that
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm in I'm the next bachelor atte Here's
Speaker 1: the thing I have to say, She's not. She believes
Speaker 1: she is. She believes that she's played her plan well,
Speaker 1: but I do think here's the I think looking back
Speaker 1: on last week with the producers sending the flowers from
Speaker 1: JoJo's boyfriend, they clearly saw a head. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: should we can't have a Mamanda with the kids. Nobody
Speaker 1: likes Kayla. Let's try to wreck this early so we
Speaker 1: can get Jojo to be the bachelor, because it's never
Speaker 1: the number two, that's the bachelorette. But I don't think
Speaker 1: Kayla ever had a chance. Kyla was only a curiosity,
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. But I mean I think that
Speaker 1: the producers were trying to trying to get Kayla to
Speaker 1: be one of the two because I think they need
Speaker 1: a good bachelorette, and they were hoping it'll be Joe too.
Speaker 1: It's never the second person, it will it will be
Speaker 1: well know the predictions. Are we doing that or let's
Speaker 1: all right, let's let's get through this. I start with
Speaker 1: him climbing that mountain in his flip flop, like he
Speaker 1: never climbed up stairs ever before stairs and if it
Speaker 1: is sandals Jamaica, just I was like, is this a
Speaker 1: hidden pyramid of sandals? It was like the Aztec culture
Speaker 1: that came the time you see shots like that, you
Speaker 1: just know that, like he's standing around, he's gonna do
Speaker 1: whatever the producers tell him, and they're like, why don't
Speaker 1: you go climb up that zigaratte over there? And Sandals? Well, okay, so,
Speaker 1: Kayla when he Kayla was my deepest relationship, deepest what
Speaker 1: are you talking? He wanted to funk her the most.
Speaker 1: He wanted to sun her badly because she's a sex panther.
Speaker 1: She's a sex panther from early on. I think so,
Speaker 1: I think I think that could be a good argument
Speaker 1: that he wanted to sunk her the most. He did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Also because of the racial curiosity, I think he was like,
Speaker 1: I really think that's a piece of it, because we
Speaker 1: even see him earlier in the season telling Jubilee, I'm
Speaker 1: not that white, which is obviously a lie, as so
Speaker 1: Indiana with that Bible quote. He might be the Bible quote. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: so and then sher saying, oh my god, the Sandals
Speaker 1: is the greatest. There's a swing over the water, and
Speaker 1: all I kept thinking is that you're trying to say
Speaker 1: it's like a like a sex swing, Like, well, they
Speaker 1: lay on thick every fantasy sweet episode. There's a million
Speaker 1: sex references. Okay, so then they go down the river
Speaker 1: and the let's do this. Let's let's back up a
Speaker 1: little bit. In the first sequence of this show, Ben
Speaker 1: walks into the room and the first thing he does,
Speaker 1: he says, there's gonna be a lot of romance or
Speaker 1: something going on here, romantic feelings, and he presses on
Speaker 1: the bed to test his firmness. That's in the show's from.
Speaker 1: All of them were different. My brother and I watched
Speaker 1: it for the first time. My brother had never seen it. Okay,
Speaker 1: we watched the last night he's in. He loved it. Um,
Speaker 1: we were I think they were all different because I
Speaker 1: don't think that Kayla had a pool or a hot top.
Speaker 1: It's different sweets in the same different tweets in the
Speaker 1: same RAZI because I was like, oh my god, he
Speaker 1: because he just sucked her like very similar. I don't
Speaker 1: know how you like, I guess, yeah, twenty, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was always under the impression in
Speaker 1: the beginning, when I first started watching the show, is
Speaker 1: under the impression that they probably had like a week
Speaker 1: or two in between the Fox sessions to give everybody
Speaker 1: a chance. You want. Deplorable if we can get picked.
Speaker 1: You kind of want to be the last one, but
Speaker 1: you don't want to be getting all the funky junkie
Speaker 1: that's coming. Pretty sure you want to be the first
Speaker 1: one every time. Yeah, for the well, I mean just
Speaker 1: for all of his uh shortcomings, which are almost he
Speaker 1: didn't have crashed last season yet. Katie loves Nick Katie
Speaker 1: loves my Nick Vilbo Instagram account, which is an image
Speaker 1: for image remake of his Instagram where I revealed the truth. Wow.
Speaker 1: I just want to say Ben and Kayla's date was
Speaker 1: the single worst date that I have ever been on,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I was on it. And I've
Speaker 1: been on some bad dates. Literally, I've gotten like like
Speaker 1: head rubs at the end of the day, it's like
Speaker 1: a pat on the head, like a lot of high five.
Speaker 1: I've gotten like kid out like nuggie. I basically got
Speaker 1: a nuggie at the end of the day that like waking.
Speaker 1: I didn't fuck him, but like I made now the
Speaker 1: guy I woke up in the morning got like a noogie.
Speaker 1: This is still the worst date I've ever been on.
Speaker 1: Was Ben and Kala's dates. Even the river boat dude
Speaker 1: was wearing Jamaican colors, Oh my god, the most. They
Speaker 1: always exploit the indigenous people wherever they go epode so
Speaker 1: uncomfortable to like, terrible, it's terrible. One of the worst.
Speaker 1: One was maybe three seasons ago. I think there was
Speaker 1: a shot did they go to Mexico And there was
Speaker 1: just a shot of a very sad man holding a shovel,
Speaker 1: like you guys remember that shot at all. I don't
Speaker 1: remember exactly where they were, but it was just like,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, how bad can this be? Like this was
Speaker 1: maybe two or three seasons ago. I think it was
Speaker 1: on Shawn Lowe's season the best. It was the worst date,
Speaker 1: but it produced the best, one of the best lines
Speaker 1: of all time. When they doubled back that night and
Speaker 1: he's like, I'd like to talk about it, And she said,
Speaker 1: it's funny that you noticed I was weird today. Well,
Speaker 1: there was only two of you and it was a
Speaker 1: weird situation. And for somebody you're gonna marry, wouldn't you
Speaker 1: want him to notice if you're in a bad mood
Speaker 1: just a little bit. It's funny that you noticed. I
Speaker 1: didn't say. Also, like, it's also like imagining a ca
Speaker 1: the cameraman that has to go into the street with
Speaker 1: all them, like some camera and sound guy has to
Speaker 1: be the final person in there filming them. Well, they're
Speaker 1: fireworks are exploding off as like fireworks. They were like
Speaker 1: ten like in a war. It was like, uh, insane.
Speaker 1: But I will say this my favorite part of the day,
Speaker 1: My favorite part of almost the entire show is whatever
Speaker 1: b roll the producers choose to put in as context
Speaker 1: for what has just happened or what is about to happen,
Speaker 1: sometimes foreshadowing. Uh, every shot has chosen in this show.
Speaker 1: The first thing you see after the date where he
Speaker 1: fox Kalo the next morning is the shot of a
Speaker 1: cow in the grass grazing. I think they're literally saying,
Speaker 1: you don't have to buy the cow to get the mall.
Speaker 1: You really feel like we're the professor, Like, why would
Speaker 1: they choose that shot? Account how much f roll do
Speaker 1: they have a fucking Jamaican beaches and sandals a million hours?
Speaker 1: They chose that as the first shot to show you that. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I get worked up because they're filming those days. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: would be quiet. I love that we have to be
Speaker 1: quiet on an audio podcast. Okay, so that's redundant. Okay,
Speaker 1: So we'll get to that to whispering at the end
Speaker 1: of the s he was so so strange. But this
Speaker 1: is a recurring thing that I just was laughing so
Speaker 1: hard at like all three of them did it. Kaylea
Speaker 1: kicked it off. It happens every year, but I just
Speaker 1: want one time it to be different when they're just
Speaker 1: like they're just like I've been. I've been wanting to
Speaker 1: sell you something for a while and it's just like
Speaker 1: part of me is just you know, it's a little
Speaker 1: bit hard, but I've been wanting to tell you something
Speaker 1: for a while, and you know the l bombs coming,
Speaker 1: and I just want one of them to be like
Speaker 1: I'm lack, like I'm lactoast intolerant, like like I just
Speaker 1: shipped my pants and I just I need to excuse
Speaker 1: myself to get a new just so much everyone was
Speaker 1: the same moment, and it's for the for the last
Speaker 1: fifteen years, speaking of shipping your pants. And she's the
Speaker 1: cutest person in the world, but Lauren's gate walking up
Speaker 1: her and she has a cute and it was pants.
Speaker 1: It's like my brother who And by the way, I
Speaker 1: come from short puffe people, so I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: like like like a long line of diabetics who are
Speaker 1: just who given it to themselves. So let me just
Speaker 1: say I'm not trying to say like I would look
Speaker 1: horrifying on the show. But she's a very cute girl.
Speaker 1: But my brother's like, wow, she's a little thicker on
Speaker 1: the middle. I was like, no, she's tiny, but she's
Speaker 1: just styled herself and she picked the worst set of
Speaker 1: jean shorts and walking up like she's got like a
Speaker 1: load in her pain. It looked like, yeah, she would.
Speaker 1: She was either banged half of Jamaica the night before.
Speaker 1: It was on a mechanical bowl for like five hours.
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this walk? And that's kind
Speaker 1: of a weird walk to shoulders down and back and
Speaker 1: kind of like I don't I don't know how to
Speaker 1: describe what I just think really quick. Kayla's like breath
Speaker 1: comments the next morning when she's like we take the
Speaker 1: same breath we take literally, I think I think I
Speaker 1: blacked out, Like but that's what the show is. This
Speaker 1: is people who are using two months to identify a
Speaker 1: person that they think meets all these kind of surface
Speaker 1: requirements and what a relationship at romance or all this
Speaker 1: kind of ship is it's every season they say these things,
Speaker 1: just speaking in platitudes and all at all times. But
Speaker 1: it's still the highlight of my week. To it's like
Speaker 1: a serial killer. I just I almost like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take a picture and put it on our Facebook account. Chad.
Speaker 1: Now I also look like squirrel. But I just asked
Speaker 1: you back and get hired to do ship and we
Speaker 1: all took how long? How long did it take you
Speaker 1: to get through last night's to our episode? Taking your well,
Speaker 1: I watched it twice first of all, but the first
Speaker 1: time probably four hours or so. I really think The
Speaker 1: Bachelor is the most important piece of American media being
Speaker 1: made in terms of its propaganda value, what it's doing
Speaker 1: to American culture, all this kind of stuff. Excited for
Speaker 1: you because I'm so excited to come here, of course,
Speaker 1: because the only people I can talk about this with
Speaker 1: are my squirrels. Oh my god, Chad, I feel so
Speaker 1: happy that we've been even. Let me ask you guys,
Speaker 1: because you've watched, You've watched Weaver watched a lot in
Speaker 1: Katy as well. Uh. I do think though it is
Speaker 1: it's Placard's like you say this, then you say this,
Speaker 1: then you season after season. However, I just like I'm
Speaker 1: craving some sort of conversation that it just it feels
Speaker 1: like if nobody talks about I love it, But it
Speaker 1: just like there happened so much more exciting seasons because
Speaker 1: it's just the go between between them are just like
Speaker 1: I'm just like about to stab my eye out with
Speaker 1: and by the way, stupid, this is what the show
Speaker 1: chooses to show us. So if there is in fact
Speaker 1: any other conversation that has more meaning, the show is
Speaker 1: choosing not to give it. He doesn't, he doesn't know enough.
Speaker 1: He's a nice So I took it as like this
Speaker 1: is the highlights, and I think I don't think anything.
Speaker 1: I think he's nice enough. Maybe I don't think that
Speaker 1: they're like I think like I think there's literally no
Speaker 1: actual exchanging of information of like, so what do you
Speaker 1: do on Sundays? Like, I don't think anybody, actually I
Speaker 1: have I have no trust in the producers of the
Speaker 1: show to present reality anyway. There was was it on
Speaker 1: Shawn Lowe's season where he was going up with Britain
Speaker 1: the Hot air Balloon? They show a few different wide
Speaker 1: shots of a hot air balloon floating by you hear
Speaker 1: some of their audio. They're talking, and then when they
Speaker 1: cut away to the close up, it's a low angle
Speaker 1: up into the hot air balloon. Sorry, And if you
Speaker 1: look and it looks strange, it doesn't look like they're
Speaker 1: in the air. And if you look closely at one
Speaker 1: of the shots, there's a blades of grass or sticking
Speaker 1: up in the bottom right corner of the frame that
Speaker 1: hotter balloons on the ground and they're just shooting up
Speaker 1: getting them to get the dialogue. Whether they were in
Speaker 1: the hot air balloon ever, I don't know in the
Speaker 1: sky the entire thing was constructed. So after that, all
Speaker 1: bets are off. Whatever's in that show, every frame of
Speaker 1: it is for our in quotes entertainment. Did you watch
Speaker 1: Unreal because it's incredible. I can't do it. I need
Speaker 1: the real document. I don't want to see like a
Speaker 1: scripted version of the real document. It was made by
Speaker 1: the person who worked on it. I understand all of that.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna be disappointed. I've watched a couple episodes.
Speaker 1: I much prefer watching the actual document. Deconstructing a mystery
Speaker 1: that also says it was almost weird going into my
Speaker 1: date with almost Almos almost just another woman just five
Speaker 1: hours ago, and now you're about to drop the l bomb.
Speaker 1: I'm like a little kid right now who's about to
Speaker 1: go funk everybody? Yeah, okay, So then they're like, I've
Speaker 1: got a really fundate for us planned. We're about to
Speaker 1: go listen to a lecture. How cute were those turtles?
Speaker 1: Like those turtles? Well, even cuter was the prayer they
Speaker 1: said over the turtles before releasing them into the wild.
Speaker 1: Praise sweet Jesus, we're giving life to these uh whatever
Speaker 1: bucket full of turtles. And now again in Jesus name,
Speaker 1: I fuck three women before marriage. Unbelievable between the tato
Speaker 1: and the prayer of the turtles, and now he's about
Speaker 1: to eat three women and two of the three hearts,
Speaker 1: which is in the Old Testament, shall release sea turtles
Speaker 1: and become a fuck machine in the name of the
Speaker 1: Lord proverb. Can we talk about those turtles? So there's
Speaker 1: so much, so many I wanted them. They were so
Speaker 1: much more successful than the everything I've done in my life.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, the pig will look the pigs
Speaker 1: in the ocean for this season, I think was kind
Speaker 1: of akin to and most of the other misogynstic things
Speaker 1: they make them do, like getting naked for a peda
Speaker 1: calendar or roller derby when you're handicapped, things of that nature.
Speaker 1: The pigs was light if getting into that category or
Speaker 1: even with the guys made the guys fight. I love
Speaker 1: like diapers. One of those guys was two pound ex
Speaker 1: college athlete. There was a guy on there who weigh
Speaker 1: like a hundred and sixty pounds. Now, you guys, how
Speaker 1: does that even leg How did they get that to happen?
Speaker 1: Unreal to me? But those sea turtles, they were so happened.
Speaker 1: When he got attacked by the craw I loved it.
Speaker 1: He's such a twig. Had to bring back that crab
Speaker 1: for Mat in Paradise. Quicker crabs are He's sweet, dumb.
Speaker 1: The ones that sanders in Jamaica. Those I just say
Speaker 1: the sea turtles from my highlight the turtles. So it
Speaker 1: was the only kind of real moment and the whole
Speaker 1: thing I feel like, and it's awesome. He was like,
Speaker 1: it's so so awkward because my my heart is with Lauren,
Speaker 1: but my dick is with Kayla and Lauren and Joe
Speaker 1: Jack Okay, so then so then um they go, oh god, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So then the day the Double Rainbow miss teased Kitchen
Speaker 1: Um and they had to go to that. They had
Speaker 1: to go to the band where they so they were
Speaker 1: the whitest people like and they didn't dance at all.
Speaker 1: They look so uncomfortable around real Jamaicans like and then
Speaker 1: um and the song it was like the first time
Speaker 1: work because it normally all season they have to dance
Speaker 1: to some band that they don't know, and the only
Speaker 1: people still dancing they didn't even attempt to dance to
Speaker 1: the song, which is I'm So in love with You.
Speaker 1: I'm So in love with you you have to pick
Speaker 1: up with like Carlo Gutthree's dead Niece reads like come
Speaker 1: back and do a jam band and it's like I
Speaker 1: love you on an island and they're like, well this
Speaker 1: is weird. Yeah, they didn't know. They were so uncomfortable
Speaker 1: that at this point I wrote down, can you just
Speaker 1: say have one interesting question and ask questions like Jaffer
Speaker 1: Gamble ever been faced down in a played a blow?
Speaker 1: What was your word? Like? Just but you know, after
Speaker 1: seeing a Jamaican band on the island of Sandals, Jamaica,
Speaker 1: the only thing you can really do is eat a
Speaker 1: weird dinner, have a few drinks, and then compete about
Speaker 1: who you think is too good for the other person,
Speaker 1: because they both did that. Yeah, us good for me, No,
Speaker 1: you're too good for me? All right, that settled, goodbye.
Speaker 1: I believed that love moment. I fully believe that love moment.
Speaker 1: I didn't believe the other one. But I believe um,
Speaker 1: they're both cacky enough to make a real solid future.
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I feel like he's loved her
Speaker 1: for a long time. He wanted to say. It seemed
Speaker 1: easy and genuine, and he's and and what we know
Speaker 1: about him that he thinks he's unlovable and he really
Speaker 1: thinks she's too good for him. That hooks right into
Speaker 1: his weird yeah sorry, meaning I did love that. Kayla
Speaker 1: was like I don't think I can have loved someone.
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't think I can be loved. And
Speaker 1: she made the top three. I know that's And then
Speaker 1: when she finally gave it to him, and he was like,
Speaker 1: thank god she had a bad day on the riverboat.
Speaker 1: What if Kayla had a great day, here's she never
Speaker 1: would have made it. She's not white, She's just not
Speaker 1: I don't think it's I don't think. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think she could have made it. There is no
Speaker 1: more racist show on television currently. No, I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I didn't, honestly like I just I didn't even think
Speaker 1: about that. I just thought, like she is like a
Speaker 1: little going back to she's a She's like the moss.
Speaker 1: I'm the moths looking for a tree telling me where
Speaker 1: I want to live because I don't know where do
Speaker 1: you want to live? Tree? I think he's looking at
Speaker 1: it like this. At the end of the show, best
Speaker 1: case scenario, I'm engaged to someone that means I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna suck anyone again. I have only ever fucked white girls,
Speaker 1: probably one or two before the show. I got to
Speaker 1: get this in before moving on to the next phase
Speaker 1: of my life. One non white girl was going to
Speaker 1: make it to the fantasy suitets. Kayla was that white,
Speaker 1: non white girl. She could never be his wife because
Speaker 1: she's not white. I don't think it's that. I think
Speaker 1: she couldn't be his wife because he because she sucks.
Speaker 1: I think if she had been cooler, I think he
Speaker 1: could have accepted it. I think I don't know. I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: it could go either way. I just I do think
Speaker 1: that she was. He said it repeatedly, like do you
Speaker 1: have emotions? Do cry? He loves to cry, like my
Speaker 1: god cry. He used it as his his confirmation that
Speaker 1: he was really into Lauren. When he's like, when your
Speaker 1: family asked me questions, I just cried. I literally when
Speaker 1: my guy he kept saying that, and I was like,
Speaker 1: if somebody said that to me, I was like I
Speaker 1: would be out. I'd be like the word puss. But
Speaker 1: he's like he was bragging invest he was bragging about crying.
Speaker 1: It was like, that's a lady bone every family I've
Speaker 1: ever met, of every girl I've ever dated, whatever, the
Speaker 1: first question is asked me, you go right to cry.
Speaker 1: She had leads with tears. So how do you guys meet?
Speaker 1: By the way, my brother pointed out because my brother
Speaker 1: had never seen the show, and he pointed out that
Speaker 1: the awkward moment where he hands like that awful handwritten
Speaker 1: note from Chris Harrison, it's the same text on something
Speaker 1: for the same text. You'll you'll like my Instagram Bachelor clues.
Speaker 1: Every season. I do some real good makeups of those letters,
Speaker 1: specifically those shots, because there why even include the shot?
Speaker 1: You have to see the text? You have to see
Speaker 1: that this is ordained by someone else. It takes away
Speaker 1: a slight amount of blame from Ben Lord Harrison. That's
Speaker 1: what I call Chris Harrison. This is his kingdom and
Speaker 1: he gives all of this to us. First, I didn't
Speaker 1: look like Chris Harrison. I'll take that as the highest
Speaker 1: compliment ever paid. Thank you a little bit. They could
Speaker 1: be like, I don't know, there's something it's like I
Speaker 1: want for him. I hate his guts. He's the most
Speaker 1: smug piece of ship that is on reality too. I
Speaker 1: mean but like he's the best job, like job, best job,
Speaker 1: don't do anything well, No, he has to act like
Speaker 1: he cares about these people. And I think he's convinced
Speaker 1: himself to go back to that because that was one
Speaker 1: of my favorite moments of the program at the end.
Speaker 1: But okay, let me do with his face. Okay, so
Speaker 1: then we have U. So then let's talk about Joe Job.
Speaker 1: Let's real quick, Lauren's I've been meaning to tell you
Speaker 1: something And this is the moment where I was watching
Speaker 1: with Glenna Megan and she hold out, I mean going
Speaker 1: tell you something. Um, I've been off my anti psychotic
Speaker 1: drug hell Drall for each other I couldn't fill it
Speaker 1: in Jamaica. They're just coming up with anything. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna turn to the four hours. I need this
Speaker 1: description field like anything, any please say anything to tell
Speaker 1: you something that wasn't That also the date where he
Speaker 1: asked what have I done wrong? Yes, right after he
Speaker 1: said you're too good for me, she said you're too
Speaker 1: good for me? What have I done wrong? I bet
Speaker 1: they're sea turtles at their wedding. Oh my god, there
Speaker 1: should be um and then you and then you know
Speaker 1: that they because the clothes are all over the floor
Speaker 1: in the bed the next exactly so after Kayla, the
Speaker 1: first shot we see is the cow in the field.
Speaker 1: After Laura the first shot we see his clothes on
Speaker 1: the floor, and then we pan up to see that
Speaker 1: they're wearing other clothes. So it doesn't work even in
Speaker 1: the bachelor context. This is just a surface level idea
Speaker 1: of what should happen the next morning, even though they're
Speaker 1: in the bed with t shirts and shorts on. The
Speaker 1: clothes on the floor meaningless, but they give that image
Speaker 1: to us to be like days they sheerly fucked show
Speaker 1: how I do need to go back and look at
Speaker 1: the cat. Please do okay um Jojo looks great in
Speaker 1: the bikini that she has some crazy bikini boobs. Real
Speaker 1: quick talk about that bikini. There are multiple shots where
Speaker 1: they're sitting on top of the miniature waterfall where we
Speaker 1: see a bunch of JoJo's side boob and the show
Speaker 1: does an expert job of blurring it out, but they
Speaker 1: do it very discreetly. They in fact make the black
Speaker 1: box or the blur box look like it's a piece
Speaker 1: of the bikini. They try to hide it from us,
Speaker 1: but if you look closely, it's there. She covered her
Speaker 1: booty when she walked up the stairs, right. This is
Speaker 1: in contrast, so I think it was Jillian on the
Speaker 1: season where they put a very obstructive, giant black rectangle
Speaker 1: better crack for a joke, and I think this is
Speaker 1: an overall kind of contextual move with The Bachelor where
Speaker 1: they're being much more mean to the contestants. They're playing
Speaker 1: them four jokes. Or there was a girl I forget
Speaker 1: who it was who had kind of like big eyes,
Speaker 1: and every time it would show her eyes, they do
Speaker 1: like a sound effect that used to not happen until
Speaker 1: about four or five seasons. Everyone's getting bored, so they
Speaker 1: need to make these like moments like so crazy. Now.
Speaker 1: At first she said I love you and he and
Speaker 1: it most felt like it wasn't like the same I'm
Speaker 1: in love with you is more like yeah, like I
Speaker 1: love you. Yeah, Yeah, it didn't it felt although I
Speaker 1: think she had a genuine moment she must cry. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Let's get into that. We've never before seen on The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: the ability for one of the either the bachelorette or
Speaker 1: the Bachelor to do that, to tell any contestant that
Speaker 1: he loves them. So this is a new kind of
Speaker 1: like twist in the game, if you will, it's a
Speaker 1: new tool that the player can use. So in this case,
Speaker 1: I was very curious to know did the producers tell
Speaker 1: all three contestants He's going to tell two of you
Speaker 1: that he loves you, so that they're aware of it,
Speaker 1: because when he told Lauren, she seemed kind of like, well,
Speaker 1: that's good, but it doesn't mean I'm ice. I think that.
Speaker 1: I think that's very I don't think so Jojo clearly
Speaker 1: says to him, can you say that. She's so surprised
Speaker 1: by it. She thinks it means I'm in I'm all
Speaker 1: the way. Yeah. Yeah, But Lauren didn't seem to think that. No,
Speaker 1: I just I think Lauren's just less expressive. I think
Speaker 1: I think sweet little Jojo smarter even though she gets
Speaker 1: super fucking calculating. I have, I have. I'm off team
Speaker 1: jojoved and I was all in with Jojo brother. I
Speaker 1: feel like the family thing, the brother on the reality show.
Speaker 1: I feel like her my favorite thing. The mom's got
Speaker 1: four faces on her, the boobs are done, everything's done.
Speaker 1: I feel like she's just everything's calculated. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: she doesn't have feelings for him. I just I just
Speaker 1: feel like she's been pampered. Like something shifted for me,
Speaker 1: Like a couple weeks ago where I was like, she's
Speaker 1: just literally shooting for She's shooting for Bachelorette. The next
Speaker 1: Bachelor was a character and ready for love. Now, this
Speaker 1: to me is so fucking fascinating because we're really seeing
Speaker 1: the seep of these shows home to American culture plastic.
Speaker 1: So it's family's plastic and fake older brother. How do
Speaker 1: I get a guy to like me? Well, you gotta
Speaker 1: go on a reality show. I mean that's it's become
Speaker 1: a way to date for a certain as those guys
Speaker 1: are really like I became obsessed with the brothers. They're
Speaker 1: actually really rich and successful, like they're loaded. They don't
Speaker 1: need to go on. It's purely for I'm sure they
Speaker 1: can get dates and I don't know Ben and Jojo
Speaker 1: literally the worst couple. Hey do you want to get
Speaker 1: in here? Um our producer? And then we have to
Speaker 1: start about the tattoo. When he took the waterfall, I
Speaker 1: would have drowned myself in the water and everybody Katie
Speaker 1: going back to place then saying that he or he's
Speaker 1: telling them that he loves him. I don't think he's
Speaker 1: allowed as it because did you notice when Jojo told
Speaker 1: Chris Chris? Chris kind of had this look like I'm
Speaker 1: surprised too, like he didn't want them. He came out
Speaker 1: of his Jamaican popcoma and almost ships Panti. Because there's
Speaker 1: been other seasons where like the guy will say went
Speaker 1: on like you know, when they're doing a little confessional
Speaker 1: like I'm not allowed to say, but but Chris have
Speaker 1: known from the producers that would have told him, yes.
Speaker 1: He just looked like pissed about it. I guess I
Speaker 1: think it's I don't think so, you guys, everything on
Speaker 1: that show is chosen by the producers they told him
Speaker 1: to do. You know, but can we just pretend it's
Speaker 1: not just for ten seconds? I just h I do.
Speaker 1: I did think that, like, of course, maybe he says
Speaker 1: I love you. Here's here's two two thoughts. I thought
Speaker 1: he says I love you twice as a marketing gimmick. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's one two. But I do think he's so like
Speaker 1: to me, he wouldn't know if true love smacked him
Speaker 1: in the face. And the balls. He just seems so
Speaker 1: like I think he mentioned I think he's in love
Speaker 1: with I think he's in more in love with Lauren.
Speaker 1: I think that Joejoe tailed like he almost had to
Speaker 1: to keep her around. Yeah, I feel like he just
Speaker 1: wanted to, Like I don't know, I feel like he
Speaker 1: just like, really he's like lusty and after Joe. But
Speaker 1: I feel like he and Lauren are a better match
Speaker 1: because they're like the most boring white people ever, And
Speaker 1: I think that I think, honestly, they just seem to
Speaker 1: match better though they're they're good personality. I think all
Speaker 1: the emotions that they feel are real because again back
Speaker 1: to the thesis statement, the people who are on that
Speaker 1: show answered yes to the question of would you go
Speaker 1: on the show to find your husband or wife. Those
Speaker 1: type of people are super easily manipulated by the producers.
Speaker 1: So they can tell him, hey, you can tell two
Speaker 1: girls you love him. That gives him the ability to say,
Speaker 1: in his own mind, I can fall in love with
Speaker 1: two girls. And so he does it. It's self fulfilling
Speaker 1: prophecy in some way. I think he would have either way.
Speaker 1: I think he I think this is his first time
Speaker 1: in life. He's like really like, oh I'm, I'm, I'm.
Speaker 1: It's like an instruction book, like for the next six
Speaker 1: to eight weeks, you're going to fall in love. And
Speaker 1: Ben's like, Okay, I can do this. I know you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, because I think I mean again
Speaker 1: once again. Kaylin. Kaylin has never been mentioned this season.
Speaker 1: It's never been manacause he told her he loved her,
Speaker 1: and that was in theory weeks before it started, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like like like he's been in
Speaker 1: love three times in a manner in a matter of
Speaker 1: like days. Where Jojo comes in it because Jojo is
Speaker 1: a lot like Caitlyn. Yeah, and so like he's still
Speaker 1: kind of hung up on that and like, well she's
Speaker 1: so similar and she's more Yeah, but she's more white.
Speaker 1: What she's more white Caitlyn jo jojo Now she's half version.
Speaker 1: I mean that's not super white, Miss Thee that they're
Speaker 1: all the whitest humans ever, she's more white than Caitlin.
Speaker 1: I feel like it. I feel like for Ben, I
Speaker 1: feel I don't know why I get stuck on this,
Speaker 1: but every season it just pisces me off that It's like,
Speaker 1: you know, they're very rote things, like all the non
Speaker 1: white people are usually kicked off by episode for that
Speaker 1: type of ship, and I feel like that carries through
Speaker 1: the entire thing. We're talking about a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Like Lauren lapt has made a really good point. She's
Speaker 1: just like time to get like a fresh new person
Speaker 1: and not keep you know, grabbing someone from the next season.
Speaker 1: We're just like please black or gay black? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: m okay by person behind something Guys and Girls, one
Speaker 1: of the greatest shows in the history of television. We
Speaker 1: talk about the tattoo, to tell me what it said.
Speaker 1: Let's read what it said. Can I, for one moment
Speaker 1: bring up the shot that occurs just before the tattoo,
Speaker 1: So in that sequence there in the little mini waterfall.
Speaker 1: They're taking off their clothes. The first shot of that
Speaker 1: sequence is Jojo takes off her shirt and we see
Speaker 1: her tit and they have to blur out a side boob,
Speaker 1: and then the next shot is Ben's religious tattoo. The
Speaker 1: woman a sexual object, the man a religious pillar with
Speaker 1: high morals or high ideals. That's what they're presenting to
Speaker 1: us on the show. Yeah, I wanted to see more
Speaker 1: scientist for sure. And then I was apically Jeanie dusted
Speaker 1: and horrified by the Bible quote. I didn't realize it
Speaker 1: was the Bible. I couldn't figure to add it. To
Speaker 1: the Lord, whatever you do and your plans will be achieved.
Speaker 1: Me you can bank these are the keys to the
Speaker 1: fantasy suite has sent the Lord. The Lord clearly wants
Speaker 1: them to fuck three women in successive nice an achievement.
Speaker 1: It's an achievement, It's part of God's him. I mean,
Speaker 1: everything must be or it wouldn't be happening. My question
Speaker 1: of the big maroun upstairs, can we discuss the shop
Speaker 1: when Kayla surprises him of him sitting in that Adirondic
Speaker 1: chair like just staring at nothing, clearly waiting for Kayla.
Speaker 1: Just waiting for Kayla the worst actors of all time
Speaker 1: was the worst. And then she had to come up
Speaker 1: with her bouncy hair and put her hands over hers.
Speaker 1: I was just and she was trying to hold his
Speaker 1: hand like every fifteen seconds. And that's the only thing
Speaker 1: that made me feel like maybe he knew someone was coming.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if you knew it was Kayla,
Speaker 1: because he clearly was like I didn't want to deal
Speaker 1: with her. Yeah, And the producers are like, no, you
Speaker 1: need to remind him because you were the first one.
Speaker 1: Go put it. Go put it back in his brain
Speaker 1: in the in the clip before what I got excited
Speaker 1: about because I heard I heard it. We all heard
Speaker 1: the gasp. I was like, Oh, yeah, she's gonna walk
Speaker 1: in on him and then she's gonna be like, what
Speaker 1: are you doing with another woman? Wait? But that's all
Speaker 1: that's what I thought. It just wasn't there I was
Speaker 1: really hoping for. When she Baryl rolled out of the
Speaker 1: car after he set her packing, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it wasn't good for you. I was like, go Caleb,
Speaker 1: because I just wanted. All she wanted to do was
Speaker 1: be like, did you not know before you didn't love
Speaker 1: me before you fucked me? And uh and then of
Speaker 1: course he like sort of talked his way out of it.
Speaker 1: He is such a smooth operator with his words. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's very ever honest about it. Either. It's like if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fucking marry someone, and I thought, really Andy
Speaker 1: Dorfman had the perfect opportunity to do it to Nick
Speaker 1: Vile when he uttered the now in my mind infamous line,
Speaker 1: how could you make love to me if you weren't
Speaker 1: in love with me? The answer is I need to
Speaker 1: funk all three guys to see which one I'm gonna marry,
Speaker 1: And you got kicked off the next morning, motherfucker. Katie
Speaker 1: liked him. Katie wants to make out with him, just
Speaker 1: make out. Probably not the sact I liked. I have
Speaker 1: to say. In the Bachelor history, Nick was a great
Speaker 1: care He was a great sociopath of them all. I
Speaker 1: found him extremely watchable. Absolutely, I he's on team Nick
Speaker 1: over team Royd Face. I went to sea at the end.
Speaker 1: But um, you guys, I could do a whole episode
Speaker 1: of Nick file. He's a fascinating character. And then at
Speaker 1: the end when they says, um, I can picture both
Speaker 1: Jojo and Lauren being my wife. You get the feeling
Speaker 1: that he really wants to go move to Utah and
Speaker 1: marry both jo double hug around the boat Jesus. When
Speaker 1: they've jumped in the waterfall, I was like, please make
Speaker 1: it shallow water. I could do without both of them.
Speaker 1: Quite frankly, I was. I was aiming for like a
Speaker 1: shallow pool and some injury. I one time jumped into
Speaker 1: I took a jump off of a cliff and I
Speaker 1: had so much water rocket up my ain and I thought, I, uh, sorry, listeners,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just that is all I thought about
Speaker 1: when I was watching. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what if that happened to like one of them. It
Speaker 1: was just like it was on spring break and college.
Speaker 1: I was at Lake Powell like with like a booze crew,
Speaker 1: and then there's like, oh, what do I do? Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone remembers were their first accidental enema. I did not
Speaker 1: know what or how to get to a restroom. It
Speaker 1: was tough. I did. I made it. I made it everybody.
Speaker 1: I did think the two L bombs. By the end
Speaker 1: of the show, I was angry. I was angry then
Speaker 1: I thought they were so fucking unnecessary. And I do
Speaker 1: think at the end of the day they both women,
Speaker 1: especially Lauren, are fairly all in with him. They definitely
Speaker 1: must think, well, you know, maybe not. Lauren was like
Speaker 1: maybe not. But I do think it was just such
Speaker 1: a dick move, so immature, so immature. Well, it's like
Speaker 1: now whoever he picked has to sit and watch that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's like I was going to talk. I guess
Speaker 1: he could say, like, way worse than it ever has been. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: shows history. I was thinking also two things. One, he's
Speaker 1: going to talk his way out of it by saying
Speaker 1: like maybe the producer maybe say it or something like that.
Speaker 1: But he kept saying it. He kept saying, he kept
Speaker 1: saying so many that's so fu up. Also, does this
Speaker 1: set like now another precedent for future Bachelor that is
Speaker 1: now a new phase of the show. You know how
Speaker 1: there's every like fourth episode that happen. Whatever you have
Speaker 1: to say I'm falling in love with you by a
Speaker 1: certain point, you have to kiss by a certain point,
Speaker 1: you have to do certain things by a certain points.
Speaker 1: The day after the fantasy suits, you will see two
Speaker 1: girls or two guys told the person loves them. In
Speaker 1: virtually every season, I think now, so the phone call.
Speaker 1: Next two weeks the phone call said to his mom,
Speaker 1: who's the call to? I don't know. They're certainly teasing
Speaker 1: it to make it seem like he's had a change
Speaker 1: of heart, Like he picks one girl and then calls
Speaker 1: the one exciting. Maybe that's what I thought, that's what
Speaker 1: we've been talking about for weeks. But to me, when
Speaker 1: I'll get you to me, when I saw this time,
Speaker 1: it wasn't as exciting. It wasn't as exciting. It almost
Speaker 1: seemed like I'm not saying this is going to happen.
Speaker 1: But to me, really quickly when I watched it, it
Speaker 1: almost seemed like he was calling her to be like, no,
Speaker 1: it's you, Like like because he's like, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to tell her right now, and then he starts dialing.
Speaker 1: I was like, is he giving our heads up on
Speaker 1: the limo right over? It was so weird. It looked
Speaker 1: totally the opposite of what it was teased to look like.
Speaker 1: It almost looked like to me, he was calling her
Speaker 1: and be like it's you get here quick or something.
Speaker 1: Get the call. You know they gave him a phone.
Speaker 1: What do you think the phone call is? I mean,
Speaker 1: originally I didn't think it was like whoever got kicked
Speaker 1: off third? So Kayla, that's what I originally thought. I
Speaker 1: thought that was a good call. And then after everything
Speaker 1: that he said about Kayla last night, I was like,
Speaker 1: it's not She's not so not after that date. I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe it is that quick that he like sends Lauren
Speaker 1: home and then he goes, fuck, what did I just do?
Speaker 1: He calls her, but like it just seems the parents
Speaker 1: are gonna like Lauren and he's a mama's boy. He's
Speaker 1: an only child, mama's boy, and the parents are gonna
Speaker 1: like Lauren. Specially. Yeah, he would have to come up
Speaker 1: with to please Jojo and those families standards because he's
Speaker 1: going to be working. He said, I put my brothers
Speaker 1: on a pedestal. That's when because if she was like,
Speaker 1: you know what my brother saw, Like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, it's the only way to make the last
Speaker 1: week Okay, Like my brother suck. I'm really sorry. They're
Speaker 1: real police everybody, we don't have to deal with them.
Speaker 1: But it said, she's like, I really put them on
Speaker 1: a primistal. I idolized my brothers, like I forgot. When
Speaker 1: he sends Kayle off, he goes up almost so many
Speaker 1: things about you, and I don't want to like say
Speaker 1: them because it's gonna make it hard, like come up
Speaker 1: with start crying objection you say, I'm not that, I'm
Speaker 1: just not that into. It's the best thing you could
Speaker 1: ever say for real. Oh yes, real quick. You said that, Kayla.
Speaker 1: You like that. She got out of the car and
Speaker 1: asked that I did too. I was good for you. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: I agree with that. She was like the whole time,
Speaker 1: he was like telling her because she's crazy, because I
Speaker 1: told you she was secret crazy. I told you she
Speaker 1: was sad that she stood up for her too, don't
Speaker 1: you think you guys during the Rose or the Women
Speaker 1: Tell All next week or the Rose or whenever he's
Speaker 1: gonna happen, she's going to be smiling the whole time
Speaker 1: and dating someone and like everything's going to be totally fine.
Speaker 1: Everything will be totally fine, but it'll look like yeah, right,
Speaker 1: actually right. I bet she's like, you know what it was,
Speaker 1: I'm totally over written. I've got Jeremy and Jeremy and
Speaker 1: I are right, You're right. But Chris Harrison Hi is
Speaker 1: a kite. Hi is a kite. He was whispering how
Speaker 1: did Yeah, that's when I thought, I love if one
Speaker 1: of the girls got weird, he wouldn't even know what
Speaker 1: to say, Like if it was an actual, for real moment,
Speaker 1: it's like, how do your day go? Oh? I said
Speaker 1: if she was just like it was just it was
Speaker 1: really awful. I just don't want to be here, And
Speaker 1: he'd be like, Okay, ready to go downstair. He's not
Speaker 1: processing information like a Cuban being. He thought he was
Speaker 1: so high he's a pilot. Second, yeah, he's seen so
Speaker 1: much human misery it can't affect him at this point.
Speaker 1: It's so awkward. Also, when Lauren and Jojo were just
Speaker 1: standing there and Jojo tried to make nice Jojo tried
Speaker 1: to have and Lauren was like, I'm not right basically,
Speaker 1: like I got it, like that does It felt like
Speaker 1: she's shut. Now. I get it, you're both in competition
Speaker 1: or whatever, but I feel like Jojo was trying to
Speaker 1: be a human for a second. I know you're not
Speaker 1: team Jojo. It's funny how you get an opinion and
Speaker 1: that's all you can see. Because I was like Jojo,
Speaker 1: I felt like was being a little bitchy at this
Speaker 1: Maybe she's not. She's not all bad. I just I
Speaker 1: just feel like I was so all in and now
Speaker 1: I'm just like, so, you're not even for her being
Speaker 1: the bachelorette. I like Jojo quite frankly. If I could
Speaker 1: pick someone, just anyone, just give me someone New, I
Speaker 1: would do New over Jojo. If I had to Pickuree
Speaker 1: ladies like you picked, I mean I think you picked
Speaker 1: jo would be great. Let's start just like, let's let's
Speaker 1: create a hashtag like tweeting jubil for bachelor. And but
Speaker 1: by the way, thank you for everybody emailing and when
Speaker 1: people emailing it from Canada. Um, there's people who like
Speaker 1: listen in Canada. This lady listens during her when her
Speaker 1: kid she like sits like in the car pool line
Speaker 1: and her like the mom, Yeah she's there's like there's
Speaker 1: a yeah, there's a gall In Europe, there's a guy
Speaker 1: who listens because his girlfriend makes him watch it. So
Speaker 1: appreciate you, guys, even who do you guys? First of all,
Speaker 1: what did you think of the fantasy suits at Rose
Speaker 1: Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. What did you think
Speaker 1: of Ben's tattoo? What did you do what Sandal's Jamaica?
Speaker 1: And uh, what do you who do you think it's
Speaker 1: going to be the the final one and the Bachelorette.
Speaker 1: I just don't see him. Okay, I'm picking Laurens. Believe
Speaker 1: phone call. I know it's probably just editing and they're
Speaker 1: like the what's the phone calling? I know, like it's
Speaker 1: just a phone I swear to God, I feel like
Speaker 1: the phone call is just like it's you. I can't
Speaker 1: wait any longer. This was such a boring season. It was.
Speaker 1: It was the most boring in recent memory since they've
Speaker 1: kind of shifted it into Bachelor three point Oh, this
Speaker 1: is the most boring of that era of the show
Speaker 1: for sure, because he made it boring because he's boring.
Speaker 1: Like at least with last season Lady Caitlin, she had
Speaker 1: some wonderful personality. She was very funny. It was kind
Speaker 1: of boring, but even he was a little more the
Speaker 1: women on his season, we're not boring. Yeah, the souls
Speaker 1: was hot on. He had like there were steaks because
Speaker 1: whoever he chose had to move to a town with
Speaker 1: thirty people and try to not commit suicide and like
Speaker 1: or go on dancing with the stars of them and
Speaker 1: be in the media spotlight for the rest of their lives,
Speaker 1: they could also do that. Um, you guys, so, who's
Speaker 1: going to be the new bachelorette? Who do you think
Speaker 1: will be Jubilee? I'm hoping Jubilie, but I think maybe
Speaker 1: someone completely knew. I doubt it. I wish, I hope.
Speaker 1: So I just feel like it's going to be Jojo,
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna be like I've been doing some
Speaker 1: research online. Apparently it's never the number two, because it's
Speaker 1: never the number two except for the first very early on.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's going to be a ka dude
Speaker 1: number two only it was apparently the only time it
Speaker 1: was was the girl who married the fireman, wasn't desire?
Speaker 1: Didn't you come in? Number two? She was? Apparently apparently
Speaker 1: because the blonde that got then married the dude and
Speaker 1: they had the worst after the rose ceremony of all time?
Speaker 1: Wasn't she a two? Oh? Um? The one where they
Speaker 1: like would yell at each other? Well, that was Jake.
Speaker 1: She never was the best, She didn't what was her name?
Speaker 1: She wasn't The woman went on to be the bachelor
Speaker 1: at and it was the guy that came back twice
Speaker 1: he picked her and then she Yeah, I don't forget
Speaker 1: that name. Two. I think it has only been that one.
Speaker 1: I think apparently was only early on because I because
Speaker 1: I fell deep into the I felt deep into this online,
Speaker 1: and apparently because well apparently because they say that America
Speaker 1: doesn't like the idea that you've just gotten dumped because
Speaker 1: it happens all one night they announced in the person
Speaker 1: that night, So they don't like the idea that you're
Speaker 1: immediately like like so quick that you can be at
Speaker 1: and don't they usually do it next week or do
Speaker 1: they do it? No, it can be done on the
Speaker 1: Women Tell All. Sometimes they do it on the after
Speaker 1: the Rose, and sometimes it's even after that. But sometimes
Speaker 1: it's even someone like one Pablo was like dumped way
Speaker 1: before and then he got chose interesting. It would be
Speaker 1: amazing if it was Jubilee, that would be great. I
Speaker 1: mean that would just be like, she's a goddamn war hero,
Speaker 1: she deserves love. She's not she's not that fun. I
Speaker 1: think she could be that that season would be insane,
Speaker 1: would be she could be fun. I think she just
Speaker 1: like it's a very stressful environment. I think if it
Speaker 1: was flipped and she was in control, she would she
Speaker 1: would she would relax. I'll never forget her opening intro
Speaker 1: shot of her little kind of like piece about who
Speaker 1: she is. You know, little montages they do when they
Speaker 1: first introduced the new characters. She's like just shooting a
Speaker 1: rifle at at a fire range, but like a machine gun,
Speaker 1: not just like you know what I mean, You're like,
Speaker 1: holy ship? Who um? Do you have any things you
Speaker 1: want to promote? Coming up? Next week? I'll be in
Speaker 1: Michigan Grand Rapids for Gilda rad Or Fest and then
Speaker 1: weekend after that Seattle adjacent Kirkland, Washington laughs, spot laughs great. Yes,
Speaker 1: I will be at south By Southwest next Friday, the
Speaker 1: first doing at midnight and we'll be live. It'll be fine.
Speaker 1: It'll be live on Periscope UM at nine pm Central Time,
Speaker 1: live on Periscope with Doug Benson and one of the
Speaker 1: Points Me winners and then uh and then we'll be
Speaker 1: at Moon Tower Austin, Taxas. So I'll be in Texas
Speaker 1: a lot. Chad you anything you want. I'll be in
Speaker 1: my living room watching The Bachelor and do what's your
Speaker 1: Instagram account? It's called Bachelor Clues. Everybody we meet again,
Speaker 1: Nick Vilvo, Thanks guys, thank you, thank you. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to get all up tonight. So good. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna wonder a question being, when you're except this
Speaker 1: roll aver, you accept this role into your word? Who
Speaker 1: your accept this rose into your word? Now leaving nice
Speaker 1: to dot com