WEBVTT - On Auto-Pilot 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:08.880 Hey, folks, have you ever heard of an auto pilot relationship? Well? 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:15.080 I have not. However, I have been in one with 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:19.919 Amy Robot and didn't even know it. But here's the thing. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:23.959 You might be in one right now as well. You 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:26.160 don't even know it. And with that, welcome to this 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.960 episode of Amy and Tsay on location. We should say, 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:35.120 Robes right now, we are not work office appropriate right now. 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:36.760 Necessarily in our attire, we're not. 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:39.240 Can we call this a workcation or a vacation where 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:41.120 we decided to do a little bit of work? 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:44.440 I was confused by both those things you just said. 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:47.040 Is that because for Alice was playing behind you? 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.760 Wish I had to understand? Sorry, I have that explained 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:54.720 to me. But but yes, we are on location right 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:58.560 now because we took a little bit of a it 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:01.240 is a vacation. But would you say you and I 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:03.440 as a couple, you would you say we needed a 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:04.720 trip and needed some time alone. 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.399 Yes, In fact, the other day you said to me, 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.399 I need a break with you. But when you said 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:13.480 that to me, my eyes got really wide, and you 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:17.080 could see because the way I was interpreting that was 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:20.959 I need a break from you. And I think you 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.360 there's a Prepositions are important and you always choose your 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:27.760 words carefully. I sometimes just hear worst case scenario or whatever. 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:30.840 But you recognized it in my eyes, and you said, 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.840 I didn't say I needed a break from you. I 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:36.640 said I needed a break with. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.240 So where in that count? Where in that one sentence 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:41.840 did you tune out to the point that you missed 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:43.440 the most important preposence. 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:47.240 When you hear your boyfriend or the man you love 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:51.320 say I need a break, you immediately just go into 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:56.000 a full on panic. No, you hear nothing else, and 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:59.840 then you and you're like what and you go into 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:02.080 Panickmoge're like what what did I miss? Like? 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:02.760 Wait? What? 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:08.840 So that actually happened? And as soon as you clarified 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:14.919 that I had not paid attention to the preposition. 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.800 What would you say, well, relief, Why would you say 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.360 we needed a break? Why would you have said it? Well? 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:23.040 We have been So we went from a year ago 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:27.200 to just kind of reintroducing ourselves to or our relationship 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:31.960 to our children, to this past year constantly being with 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:33.960 them all the time. So and it's been great. We 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:38.880 have been with either Sabine or Ava or Anna or 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:44.280 all three or a combination of a few all summer long. 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:46.880 I don't know that we even had like a date night. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:49.120 Can't shake them. 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:54.440 It's been awesome, and also it's funny just from where 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:56.359 we were. It's like, wow, one of those not be 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.720 careful what you wish for, wink wink, but one of 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:00.760 those things where it really has been awesome. But we 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:03.600 have not had as much alone. 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.640 Time, so U and anybody that follows us, we just 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:09.240 seemingly had a trip not too long ago. I kin'd 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.120 of remember when Rome was when itally was, but that 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:16.520 wasn't too terribly long ago. The weird thing we recognize 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:21.839 we only plan trips for ourselves now around when all 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:24.000 the kids are going to be busy doing something else, right, 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:27.760 they have to be otherwise occupied, and so we had 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.359 to kind of are are we only made those two 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:31.440 trips because of that. 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:34.320 Exactly, And I would say, like, funny enough, we are 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:37.320 together all the time, but we're either we were with 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:41.040 the kids or we were working, and we were working 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.040 a lot, which is great. We love to work, but 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:45.120 we didn't just get to have like us time like 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.640 it's been an interesting thing. I've never you know, we 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:51.040 worked together and we are in a relationship together, so 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:55.280 it is a and we were friends before as colleagues, 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:57.240 so it's a strange thing, like you've got the work 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:00.640 relationship and then you've got the romantic relationship, and the 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:05.240 two actually don't coexist. You know, when we're in work mode, 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:08.520 it's not about our relationship. It's just been an interesting thing. 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.440 So when we feel like we've actually said to each other, 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.880 I miss you and we've been together NonStop. 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:21.839 We might be in an autopilot relationship perfectly. Or maybe 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:22.720 I set you up. 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:26.479 I was going to go sorry, sorry, No led me 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.080 in the direction you knew I would take care. 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:31.160 No, you are right in all of those things. I 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:35.480 am not familiar. I hadn't heard the concept, and it 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.680 it's not necessarily what you would expect when you hear autopilot, 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:42.159 but there is a thing out there that people argue 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.800 an autopilot relationship is one in which the relationship now 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:51.080 becomes secondary, that it's almost an afterthought that you are 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.080 now going through your You're in a rhythm, a routine, 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:58.520 and not just that you're stagnant. You're not going anywhere, 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:00.479 You're not getting any deeper in your relationsip, you're not 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:03.600 falling anymore in love. You're just where you are. And 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.200 the other part of it is that they say, robes, 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:10.400 you're always putting on the appearance that everything is okay, wow, 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.240 that everything is pert we don't fight, and oftentimes you 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.240 don't because you just don't even care. You're not focusing 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.840 on the relationship, so you're not fighting and getting at 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:22.479 each other, none of that stuff. You're just going through 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:26.000 the motions of a relationship. They call that an autopilot relationship. 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:30.120 Now does that sound right or familiar? Make sense? I 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:31.640 should say it totally. 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.800 Makes sense, because yes, you're having to put the needs 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:36.200 of your children or the needs of putting food on 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:39.800 the table ahead of, yes, the romantic relationship, and that 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.240 makes sense. And I think that happens to probably most people. 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:45.479 And it's been an interesting thing because a lot of 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:49.160 times when you're putting the food on the table thing, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.560 you're not doing it together. You're doing it in separate offices, 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.599 and so you have time apart. So you can see 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.719 how that also feels very distant. And we're even together, 0:05:56.760 --> 0:06:00.200 and it still feels it's like it's not us, it's 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:03.320 work us, And there is a difference. And I hadn't 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:05.440 really thought about it until now you can. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.760 We can be sitting right next to each other and 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.880 it's still possible to feel alone. A lot of people 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:12.800 can relate to that. I'm not saying that's how I 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:15.440 feel with you or have felt with you, but this 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.120 concept was interesting, and it's interesting that we got to 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:22.320 the point we are. This is only a blessing, but 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.000 the thing we have fought and fought and fought and 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.479 fought and fought to get to, we got it, which 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:33.160 is everybody's good. The kids are good, it's easy, everybody 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:37.640 is happy. How celebrating birthdays together, trips to get all 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:41.320 this stuff is so great. But with that comes now 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:45.679 a co parenting situation that we have together that causes 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:48.560 us so oftentimes to be focused on things other than 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:52.640 our relationship. And your mom would say, we are making 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:53.400 a mistake. 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:56.279 Exactly, And you know, and I always appreciated that it 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.239 was not always easy to hear as a kid, because 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.040 it definitely put me in my place, so to speak. 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:04.560 But it actually makes so much sense having just said 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:09.800 goodbye to my baby Annalise, who is minimally texting me 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.840 at this point for anyone who'd like an update. But 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:15.160 it seems like you only hear from them when things 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.000 are not good. So no news is good news or 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:22.040 just like short small yes good those texts mean that 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:26.360 everything's actually fantastic. But with that yes it is, it 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:30.360 is absolutely on brand unless something, unless something's gone wrong. 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:35.960 I get monosyllabic responses. Yes, but I would say, my 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:39.600 mom kept always reminding me you you know, yes, your 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:42.600 children or your children forever, but truly they live with 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:45.240 you for eighteen years and then they're gone. And if 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.280 you look at the entirety of your life or the 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:51.800 lifespan of a marriage or a relationship, that actually can 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:55.080 pale in comparison. And so if you haven't invested in 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:59.120 or continued to try and reinvest in your relationship, the 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:04.280 kids are gonna say bye see ya, and what do 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:09.840 you have left? You have to remember that that actual partner, 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:13.840 the spouse or whoever that is actually the person who 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:15.720 you'll spend the most time with. The older you get, 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:17.320 the more that's the case. 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:28.640 How many people would go along with that thinking that 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:34.520 my relationship comes first and everything else. The kid I 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:36.800 was always fascinating, and I think most people don't say 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:38.920 it out loud, but your mom was like she shouldn't 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.600 give a damn about saying being bold. This is first 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.160 my relationship. The relationship has to be first. 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.200 They always told my brother and I that they absolutely. 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.960 Did, and you all are secondary. Sounds kind of strange, 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.880 but the priority has to be the relationship and the 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:57.640 couple first. Yeah, I don't hear that enough. I like 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:01.720 the idea, and we are just now experiencing something together 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:06.920 where we are. We have the list, I mean go 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.600 through I was trying to go through it earlier with you. 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:11.760 What was first? Annalice had her big. 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:15.040 Birthday, her eighteenth birthday on her last day of school. 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:16.800 She had prom two weeks before that. 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:20.960 All that was ourgely huge, big big deals, lots of parties. 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:23.560 Yea walking through the streets of Manhattan with big balloons, 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:27.800 looking silly all on her behalf correct. Party gets thrown. 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:30.480 She had graduation, another big party, a. 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:31.600 Very big party actually. 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.800 Ava then came back in with you for the sum. 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.280 From Berlin and then Yes, and then moved back in 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:41.480 for two months because she had to sub let her 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:43.440 apartment to make it make sense while she was in 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:46.840 Germany studying overseas. So then she moved back in with 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.400 us for the full two months. 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.559 So then we got Sabine has been all she had 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:55.120 camp this summer, but she has. 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:59.439 Been when she came back catch at the hip all summer. 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.480 And that's wait. You and I talked about this plenty. 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:04.880 Everybody else doesn't know. This is as good and it's 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:08.559 happened great a relationship I've had with this kid ever 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:11.840 and we've always been closed, but now it's I feel 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:14.680 it is a codependency, it's all. It's a weird thing 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:19.040 where it's we are just in our groove. But that 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:23.280 means that you and I are parenting her or dealing 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.240 with or you know what I'm saying. I go to 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.480 take a pics to what I'm saying there. But she's 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:30.840 now something that's on our mind constantly and has to 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:35.280 be factored into our day. We've got marathons we're training for. 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.520 A lot of people don't know that we are being 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:44.240 busy with some possible opportunities coming up that we have 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:48.760 actually been in negotiation with and talking about. That's very 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:50.719 exciting and moving forward, we're going to be doing a 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:54.520 live event in Chicago that we're planning. Yes that we'll 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.360 be able to give you details about that soon. All 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.360 that you put all of it together. We have been 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.240 boom boom boom being this or that to a bunch 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:06.480 of other folks. We've been business partners. We haven't done 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:07.320 a whole lot. 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:09.840 You just the two of us, and we've been together 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:13.120 NonStop through I think in I think this entire summer. 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:17.280 I believe we have spent two nights apart. And by 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.719 the way, that was the only like eight hours we 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:23.720 weren't together. You know, so we have been I can't 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.200 think of another human on this planet who I have 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.560 spent more consecutive time with and still feel like I 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:34.640 could say I miss you. That is crazy but true. 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.319 But should that be the case, It shouldn't be the case. 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:39.760 We spent this much time together. So we were we 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:41.920 did this trip. We were saying, we need to spend 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:44.200 a little where we do. We need to focus on 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.400 enjoying ourselves and trying not to we still get pulled 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.560 here and there for a whole bunch of things. But 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:55.440 look we I think what they call the vicious cycle 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:59.760 that so many couples they put on this appearance that 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:02.960 they are perfect on Instagram. You see all these things, 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:08.439 and then some other person looking at that, whose relationship 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.680 isn't perfect. It's looking at it and go, wow, my 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:15.400 relationship must be a disaster because theirs it's perfect mind 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:17.320 doesn't look like that. And so then what do you 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:19.439 do in your relationship? You go overreact, say this is 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.080 not the person I'm supposed to be with. You don't 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:23.720 go put the work into it. And I don't know. 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:25.360 I don't want to be that. I don't think everybody 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.800 thinks it's all incense and candles with us, but we 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:33.000 are dealing with this like everybody else. We stopped making 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:37.080 our relationship a priority. I think is fair to say yes. 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.560 And then the first day we actually had it just 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:43.480 be the two of us as we're traveling. It wasn't 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:47.719 a great first day. I think sometimes the anything that's 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.520 built up that hasn't been verbalized because you haven't had 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.960 the alone time to actually have true connections, it all 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:57.160 kind of comes out in whatever way it does. And 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:00.760 so the first day was a little right, but we're 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:01.840 good now. 0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:06.280 But I think it was rockier than the lotion waves. 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:10.520 There doesn't that happen though, Like the first day vacation, 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:12.840 you're just if you haven't spent time together. Finally, it 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.439 just all comes out and you just have to take 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.760 a deep breath. And it wasn't how I would have 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:20.880 wanted to start the vacation. But in a way, maybe 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.040 it was a purging or a cleansing. 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:24.600 You needed it. I didn't know. 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:30.839 You needed it. Yeah, yeah, I think you did. 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:32.880 I didn't know I needed until you let me know 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:33.600 I needed it. 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:37.360 I just pushed the right button. What can I say? 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:42.679 There was one button and I pushed it. But so yeah, 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.600 and then you like it does that happen? Like how 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:46.720 many other couples can relate? I feel like the first 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:50.200 day of vacation might be a little bit of a 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.400 purging process or a cleansing process. 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:54.480 Where are we doing great? That morning we were to 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.160 the air. Everything was good. Yeah, everything was great. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.560 Well, it was a couple of things happened. And then 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:01.160 this is this is. 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.240 Kind of just funny, but this is why. And again 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.080 a lesson to you all. And I thank my dad 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.560 for this. He was always early, to the point that 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:10.920 he annoyed the hell out of my mom. Always growing up, 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.240 we are mad early everywhere. He would rather sit there 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:16.880 and wait for thirty minutes than to rush in and 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.120 be thirty seconds, leap and. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.360 When you have anything go wrong at the airport you are, 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:25.080 or traffic or whatever happens, you're so grateful that you 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.720 don't have to stress about missing your flight. 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.120 So here we go, folks. We robes booked the flights. 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.560 She booked the trip, and she often does. Everything goes fine. 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.560 But she didn't attach my TSA PreCheck number when she 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:42.240 made the reservation. Okay, fine, not a big deal. We 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:43.240 got there pretty early. 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:45.520 It seemed like it. But it's you know, it's about 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.480 a thirty minute deal. It can be, and it was 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:52.000 we it will and then well, wait, it can be. 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:53.640 But it wasn't a big deal that I didn't have 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:55.200 TSA pre check on this one. Fine. 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.040 I told that about it. I felt guilty because I 0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:58.640 was like, crap, if I had just put I didn't 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.040 realize if you didn't put it in afterwards, that that 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:04.320 somehow you were automatically banned from getting TSA pre check. 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.200 I didn't know at the time I made the reservation. 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:08.760 I had to put it in. I couldn't go back 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:09.560 and put it in later. 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.400 I thought other airline, this particular airline didn't allow. 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.320 I thought for sure it would have been fine. 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.080 This is again, this is not a big thing. 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:18.640 Okay, but just so you know, I'm feeling a little 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.400 guilty right now over that. Yeah I did. I was like, oh, 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.480 the TSA pre check thing, yeah, because it was my fault. 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:28.440 Oh baby, that was nothing. Tsare again. Make sure everybody 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:31.640 understands here. She booked our fight and when she booked 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.360 our flights, she just did not attach my TSA pre 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:39.160 check it. And okay, I wasn't available to get don't 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:39.760 do that thing. 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.440 I didn't do it. I was like, I'll do it later. 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:45.000 In my mind, I'm like, yeah, we'll just put that in. 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:48.000 Like I didn't have it available. 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:50.440 I should get that in my phone though. 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.680 Anyway, the point being, we get there, I don't have 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:55.560 TSA pre check. That's not a big deal. I gotta 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:56.600 get in the regular line. 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:57.800 Fine, it wasn't terrible. 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.880 This is fine, but we stand in line for it. 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:05.760 Decent amountains ray. Okay, Up, she goes through first right 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.160 with your yep. So she's about to get in the 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:13.200 security line. I hand the guy my info and HM. 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:16.560 Instead of just handing me my passport back, he hands 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.040 me a white piece of paper that I've never seen before, 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:22.240 with a lot of writing on it, which is directing 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:24.960 me to get out of the line and go to 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:27.400 the airline help desk. 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.360 It's always how you want to start your vacation. 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:32.960 I have no idea. The guy had no idea. So 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.600 what's the problem, he said, I don't know. You got 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:37.240 a flag. They won't let you through. I said, but 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:40.920 what he said? That's not my thing. The airline said, 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:43.680 there's a problem here. I can't let you through, so 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:44.840 we have to get out of line. 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.080 Yes, So we walk all the way to the help 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:54.520 desk and there's another line. It's quite long. At that point, 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:58.080 I look at my phone and I actually thought to myself, 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.360 thank God be left as early as we did, because 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.920 I knew we still had two hours before our flight 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:04.919 was taking off. So I was like, okay, we'll get 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:06.600 through this. And you were calm, and I was calm. 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:08.520 I even't like I put my arm around you. We 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:10.680 were like staying, they're hugging each other. We were good. 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:13.920 We were just being calm. We were like, we're going 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:17.560 to paradise. Where we're going. We're fine. So we get 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:23.320 up to the receptionist eventually and she is fixing it 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.159 all and like seems like it's no big deal. She 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:27.680 takes this passport, and then teacher said, may I ask? 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:28.280 And I had. 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:33.280 What was the problem, man? I mean I was curious too. 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:39.359 The problem was whoever entered your birth date instead of 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:44.840 saying nineteen seventy seven entered nineteen ninety seven, and so 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:49.720 it did not match your passport and I clearly made 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:53.320 the reservations, so it was completely my fault. So not 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.560 only did I robb you with the TSA pre check, 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:00.600 I then got us flagged or got you FLA because 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:02.800 I entered your incorrect. 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.439 Birth year, and then we have to go back and 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:06.800 get in the security line. 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:10.879 Now I'm so my state of mind is I'm thinking, 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:15.760 oh my god, because I pride myself on getting things, 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.280 you know, doing those things. And then I know you're 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:20.360 we're all into details, and I was like, I let 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:24.080 everybody down. I just cost us now a solid forty 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:27.520 five minutes. It's all my fault. I'm feeling totally guilty. 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.960 And TJ walks up to go ask this kind man 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:34.639 who's standing in front of this back entrance to a 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:36.120 line so we don't have to go through the whole 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:40.320 line again, to explain to him why we are allowed 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.520 to go through this back way because of what happened, 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:45.800 and in my haste of feeling so guilty like I 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:49.600 need to fix the situation, I just jumped into the 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:55.240 conversation and completely interrupted it was. It was as rude 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.359 as it gets, and I, because I was just like 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.920 so wanting to fix it, I made it worse. 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:05.080 I was fine, do you know I have I have 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:09.960 worked on this for years and years, But at that moment, 0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.040 there's nothing I could do but surrender to the moment. 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:15.320 And there's nothing that me getting upset was going to 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:17.919 lend itself. There's nothing to get on to you for. 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:20.359 I know you felt bad about it. There's no reason 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:22.240 to make you feel worse. It's not like I hope 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.159 you learned your lesson or I'll just do it next time. No, 0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:28.840 that's Dirk behavior, don't. It was nothing. And because I 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.240 always insist that you wanted to get there early enough, 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.280 there was no problem. There was actually no problem. That 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:38.960 was just inconvenience. That was where my head was. Here 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:40.720 she comes to save the DA. 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:53.080 And then everybody's irritated. 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:55.720 Oh yeah, and then they got but there there goes. 0:19:55.880 --> 0:19:59.280 It wasn't just a moment we've had. I think we 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:04.840 only fight about one thing. And like doctor, our good friend, 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:09.399 doctor Jeff Gardier, always says, it's never what you're fighting about, 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:14.399 it's how you're fighting, Like it's how you're communicating about money. 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:16.960 It's not your problem is not money. Your problem is 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:20.200 not this, it's not that. It's how you're communicating about 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:24.119 this and that. And we fail sometimes to communicate about things, 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:28.359 but we have an ongoing thing. It became a became 0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:30.760 a theme. And then we're not even talking on the 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:34.000 plane and all kinds of foolishness. And I talked to 0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:35.440 the flight attendant born and I talked to you in 0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:38.240 that flight. That is true, for sure. They were pleasant 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:38.720 as well. 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:41.720 Had you had your AirPods in the entire time too. 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:43.640 And hear you want to hear the funny part about that. 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:44.679 You didn't have anything playing. 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:48.560 My AirPods ran out of battery power, Like. 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:52.040 Well, okay, so when your partner puts AirPods and you're like, 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:56.280 so clearly does not want to talk to me. You 0:20:56.320 --> 0:21:01.600 weren't talking, So I yeah, I actually slept a little 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:02.879 bit on the plane, which I never do. 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:04.920 Oh, I didn't even know. I didn't look your way. 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:06.119 I know you didn't. 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:09.400