Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast
Speaker 1: Happy New Year, We're here, I think whatever get here. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you feel like you've been living in a twilight
Speaker 1: though for the past a couple of years. Two years
Speaker 1: someone I was trying my furnace broke and so I was, um,
Speaker 1: I was calling and they're like, well, really backed up.
Speaker 1: We can't see you until April. I was like, April,
Speaker 1: your furnace so the gas, yeah, it's like not turning on.
Speaker 1: And I was like until April. And they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're really sorry. And I was like, okay. I called
Speaker 1: three of their places and they say April. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna meet it in April. I would like
Speaker 1: it because they probably don't have anybody to work well either.
Speaker 1: My point, I guess to that is like I just
Speaker 1: feel like, I'm like, have we been backed up since?
Speaker 1: Probably we just never caught up. Yeah, So what happens
Speaker 1: when it gets cold? I mean I still have a
Speaker 1: Heater's just my gas or electric? This is a trick question.
Speaker 1: I don't think of these things. If it's gas, you're
Speaker 1: going to force my rent? Where force my rent to husbands?
Speaker 1: Electric heat? Yeah? My heat works I think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go with my heat still works, Okay, I guess we'll
Speaker 1: find out. Well that doesn't make sense. Then, well some
Speaker 1: people have gas heat and some people have electric heat.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, we have gas, I think, Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think we have gas. See you don't even know. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not like you. I'm just asking. So it's like
Speaker 1: your your stoves not working. No, my stove is working great,
Speaker 1: it's my my okay, ready for champagne problems. My my,
Speaker 1: my spa is not heating up. Your spat, your spa spa.
Speaker 1: It makes it sound way more like problem. No, yes,
Speaker 1: my my hot tub is not heating up, and neither
Speaker 1: is my um my, my fireplace won't turn on. And
Speaker 1: I've had two of my I've had two rental husbands
Speaker 1: come over to try to figure it out. My neighbor
Speaker 1: Jason came over and it's like, my gas isn't even
Speaker 1: like there's no gas coming out. And because I'm like
Speaker 1: real scared of gas, because I'm like, if I were
Speaker 1: to light a match right now, we'd blow up. If
Speaker 1: like that's that's what I think of gas. I get
Speaker 1: scared of gas, you know, I get it. Um so
Speaker 1: I just I'm like, I need a man to come
Speaker 1: over and do this. So I call my neighbor Jason,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Jason, it's Jana. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't figure out my gas, Like my fireplace isn't
Speaker 1: turning on like you know I want. I like, I'm
Speaker 1: a romantic with a fireplace. Well that's a bummer, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like it's a full gas problem. If
Speaker 1: you're stove is working because you have a gas stove,
Speaker 1: don't you night it? Yes, So it's branding there. Oh,
Speaker 1: so there can be different lines. There's gonna I guess
Speaker 1: there has to be if that one's not working and
Speaker 1: then your show is working. Interesting interesting, I mean I
Speaker 1: mean all all you know, I don't know. But anyways,
Speaker 1: going into I just feel like what like because I
Speaker 1: feel like no one knew it was going to be hard,
Speaker 1: and then it was hard and the one was like
Speaker 1: a recovery of So it's like, what's two going to be?
Speaker 1: It's got to be good. I need we naturally has to.
Speaker 1: I don't think we can afford for it not to be.
Speaker 1: If I'm being just completely honest, it's got to turn up.
Speaker 1: I mean flu like like like I have to say this,
Speaker 1: it sucked. I'm like, I got a divorce in I
Speaker 1: think was definitely a rough It couldn't get any more.
Speaker 1: I don't think I can get. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say what could be worse, but you know, death, but um,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be great. I'm feeling I feel like we
Speaker 1: say that every time. No, we did. I think every
Speaker 1: single one of us is like, it's gonna be our year,
Speaker 1: It's gonna be everyone's year. We were definitely duped, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to It's like January and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden February March, Yeah, exactly. And then they
Speaker 1: said the same thing about so it's like does every year, Like,
Speaker 1: I feel like you have to say every year, it's
Speaker 1: going to be your year because if not, like, who's
Speaker 1: going to go into it going it's not gonna be
Speaker 1: this year's gonna suck. I think this year is just
Speaker 1: going to be the same. Well that sucks. But if
Speaker 1: I'm being but how do we change that? That's why
Speaker 1: I want to talk to Shari about because because we
Speaker 1: have a Shari coming on Healey, who's obviously she's a
Speaker 1: fan favorite on the show. But I want to ask
Speaker 1: her that because it's like you can't go into it
Speaker 1: being like, well, it's not going to be your year,
Speaker 1: but you also can't go into me like it's gonna
Speaker 1: be my year and then have your expectations to be like,
Speaker 1: this is the worst year of my life. Forgot divorced,
Speaker 1: this happened. But covid, I think that's the problem with
Speaker 1: people like us, because we set high expectations and we
Speaker 1: get disappointed really easily. Well yeah, so it's like if
Speaker 1: you just go in like it's just gonna be normal,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be just how do you set goals when
Speaker 1: it's just I think you can set goals, but it
Speaker 1: just is another freaking year. Oh it's kind of like
Speaker 1: it sounds to domestic, but it it just doesn't sound exciting, No,
Speaker 1: Like it just sounds like you're just living. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to just live. I want to live. No, right,
Speaker 1: I understand, Do you know what I mean? Chase that Joy,
Speaker 1: I get it, Chasing joy saying yes, okay, I get
Speaker 1: a hashtag, Chase Joy. You think radical race Chasing Joys,
Speaker 1: it's all fair, and I agree, But I feel like
Speaker 1: every January is like started off like that. So again,
Speaker 1: I guess the question is how do you carry that
Speaker 1: through the year, not just like have this excitement at
Speaker 1: the beginning of the year and then let it all fall. Yeah. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm staring at a piano right now in our little studio.
Speaker 1: It's Jolie's, but it's also the little do you know,
Speaker 1: I also got it for me too. I also would
Speaker 1: like to relearn piano from when I was jolling stage.
Speaker 1: So like I was thinking of getting a teacher coming over. Okay,
Speaker 1: they teach the kids, they teach me. We learned to
Speaker 1: play piano because I only know one one song, this
Speaker 1: is less song, and they have a good thing about
Speaker 1: cheese less. So yeah, so that's the only song I
Speaker 1: can play a piano, and I'd like to learn another one.
Speaker 1: I think that's a great goal, right, it would have,
Speaker 1: but but we're most likely going to be sitting here
Speaker 1: in another year going still only know the less. So
Speaker 1: the good thing about you, I think it's prioritizing. That's
Speaker 1: the word goals, and you have a million goals and
Speaker 1: not enough hours in the day. You're good at that.
Speaker 1: It's prioritizing what the goals are. Mm hmmm. Soana was
Speaker 1: a goal, prioritize it. That's my advice for Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we've got shrey. I'm gonna blow my nose because you
Speaker 1: know what did come into two my cold. So um,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break, blown the nose and we'll
Speaker 1: get sure you on ask for all these questions. Hello,
Speaker 1: it's so good to see you. Good to see you too,
Speaker 1: um katn I were just talking about how like I
Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, I feel like, you know, everyone's like,
Speaker 1: this is going to be our year, and obviously it wasn't.
Speaker 1: And then it's like, all right, this is gonna be
Speaker 1: our year. And then one was like the recovery too,
Speaker 1: and now it's twenty going to one. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, but now I'm kind of like, is it?
Speaker 1: Are we psyching ourselves out? Every time we say this
Speaker 1: is gonna be your year? Because I'm like, is it though?
Speaker 1: Because I'm like, well, last year I got divorced, and
Speaker 1: like something bad probably is going to happen this year
Speaker 1: or you know, like not as worse as that. I
Speaker 1: don't know who knows, but like, but it's just one
Speaker 1: of those things where I feel like, are we like
Speaker 1: psyching ourselves out? Are we are this is this kind
Speaker 1: of like I am so happy about being positive and
Speaker 1: mean like, yeah, this is our year, but I'm almost like,
Speaker 1: why are we setting it ourselves up to like be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know this year sucked. Well, here's the really important
Speaker 1: question to ask. I'm a possibilitarian, you know that, Like,
Speaker 1: I think anything is possible, and I do say that
Speaker 1: every year like this is going to be the year.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if all of us go about
Speaker 1: designing the year in the way that would make it
Speaker 1: our year, or that we end the year with the
Speaker 1: right meaning, the right understanding of how the year went right.
Speaker 1: So it's tricky. It's it's I'm not about doing what
Speaker 1: a lot of people do to imagine the worst, prepare
Speaker 1: for the worst so that you don't get disappointed, you know,
Speaker 1: to just set your bar low and be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is probably going to be a rough year like
Speaker 1: the last two. I'm not about that. I'm more about Okay,
Speaker 1: so we went through some really hard times the last
Speaker 1: couple of years. Why why is it just that it
Speaker 1: was like all of our power and freedom was taken
Speaker 1: from us? Was it just a ship show or is
Speaker 1: it this global awakening? Are we about to enter into
Speaker 1: a renaissance era, a golden age, the imagination age, right,
Speaker 1: like people are saying, and I believe this, that we
Speaker 1: are now in a in a world where anything truly
Speaker 1: is possible. The great Resignation happened, right, people have really
Speaker 1: come to reevaluate and reset how they were living. And
Speaker 1: I think this year we've learned a lot. We've learned
Speaker 1: a lot going through the hard times. I mean, I,
Speaker 1: as a kid, never wanted to go through the hard times.
Speaker 1: I thought life is supposed to be a joy ride.
Speaker 1: And then I grew up and realized that we can
Speaker 1: only learn and grow when things are tough, when there's pain.
Speaker 1: So I have high hopes for this year, really high
Speaker 1: hopes because of that. And then what you do to
Speaker 1: set yourself up to have the year of your life
Speaker 1: is what we should talk about. You know, that you
Speaker 1: don't just cruise into this year like a passenger, you know,
Speaker 1: in your life, waiting for whatever is going to come,
Speaker 1: you know, sort of. I think a lot of people's
Speaker 1: belief in what's possible has been shattered, you know, and
Speaker 1: that's what needs to be restored. That just because we've
Speaker 1: been so disconnected and had to go through such hard times.
Speaker 1: If we don't believe that something better is on the
Speaker 1: other side of this, then we'll continue to be in
Speaker 1: that spin cycle. I think. Well. Also, I was like
Speaker 1: kind of telling calth her and she's like, it's just
Speaker 1: another year. I'm like, I don't want it to be
Speaker 1: just another year, you know me, Like I can't. I
Speaker 1: need to, like I and I love like bring me
Speaker 1: the highs and lows, Like the lows have made me,
Speaker 1: you know, high and helped this and like grow and
Speaker 1: learn and shape. That's fine. Like I'm I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I want the perfect, best, amazing year, and I know
Speaker 1: that's not reality. But I also know, like I can
Speaker 1: like last year, as hard as one was for me
Speaker 1: with the divorce, I still learned so much about myself
Speaker 1: and I healed and I grew and I'm going to
Speaker 1: continue to grow and them and continue to heal. So
Speaker 1: it's like, I like I want those things. I just
Speaker 1: how do you stay positive and how do you not
Speaker 1: get not saying cat not saying you're complacent, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like, how do you not just be like
Speaker 1: it's just another year, like whatever, I'm just gonna go
Speaker 1: every day and whatever. Well, think about this, if if
Speaker 1: any of us got a diagnosis you know that said
Speaker 1: we had dirty days or a year to live, if
Speaker 1: this was it, that's something to think about. What would
Speaker 1: you do. Would you say it's just another year if
Speaker 1: you knew it was your last? You know, probably not.
Speaker 1: And I think that's a good place to start to
Speaker 1: just say what what we did learn? One of those
Speaker 1: big lessons is life is precious, and we lost a
Speaker 1: lot of people in the last couple of years, and
Speaker 1: so if we if we really hold and that's an
Speaker 1: ancient way of being right in Buddhism and in the
Speaker 1: Contra and many cultures, this awareness of death is is
Speaker 1: such a gift because in that then you live with
Speaker 1: greater awareness and gratitude, like for every little moment in
Speaker 1: life that it could be your last. And that could
Speaker 1: sound morbid to some people, but it's actually really lovely
Speaker 1: if you think about, you know, the gift that we're
Speaker 1: all still here. We made it, so we're here for
Speaker 1: a reason. There's a great you know, I love Dr
Speaker 1: Zach Bush and he always says, if you're alive at
Speaker 1: this moment in human history, it's for a big reason
Speaker 1: that we all are here for this craziness, you know,
Speaker 1: and to just side who do you want to be
Speaker 1: this year? You know, Like you're so great at goals, Jenna.
Speaker 1: We've talked so much about the way you just crush
Speaker 1: it and you decide what you want. And I think
Speaker 1: we're all very aware of setting goals and intentions at
Speaker 1: the beginning of the year. I think I do it
Speaker 1: differently this year. I think I would put the what
Speaker 1: you want at the end, think about who do you
Speaker 1: want to be this year? Who do you want to become?
Speaker 1: You know, what were you born for to become fully
Speaker 1: Janna in this life? Like what kind of Janna are
Speaker 1: you going to be this year? And put the who first,
Speaker 1: and then the how? How do I want to experience
Speaker 1: this year? How do I want to feel? How am
Speaker 1: I going to let myself be helped and supported? If
Speaker 1: we learned anything in these last two years, we're not
Speaker 1: supposed to do this alone. You know, we're all disconnected
Speaker 1: and we need to get reconnected and be in circles
Speaker 1: and supported by friends and all the great you know helpers.
Speaker 1: There's coaches, therapists, but there's energy alers, and there's breath work,
Speaker 1: and there's like psychics and astrologers. I mean, there's so
Speaker 1: many people that you could turn to to be supported,
Speaker 1: and I don't think people get supported. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: we're in this individualistic culture that says we have to
Speaker 1: do everything on our own, and that's too rough. We're
Speaker 1: not going to do that anymore. And then after the
Speaker 1: who and the how, then I'd start to look at
Speaker 1: what and place your order with the universe, you know,
Speaker 1: and set the goals and things. But the who and
Speaker 1: the how would really define your experience of this year,
Speaker 1: no matter what happens. Right at the end of the
Speaker 1: year next year, you could say, did I become a
Speaker 1: greater version of myself? And how has I helped and supported?
Speaker 1: Like maybe you call in all these new friends and
Speaker 1: community and beautiful things and you experienced feelings you've never experienced.
Speaker 1: Then the what takes care of itself. Hmm. I love that.
Speaker 1: It's great. Yeah, yeah, we could do a little exercise
Speaker 1: you want on this, but I thinks would be I love,
Speaker 1: I love taking you through little experiences and then the
Speaker 1: people can do this along with us, and I think
Speaker 1: it will help us start on the who, you know,
Speaker 1: because it's a big question. It's like who do I
Speaker 1: want to be. That's like pretty big, but we can
Speaker 1: make it really tangible with this. So this is going
Speaker 1: to feel like left field, but it's not so sting me.
Speaker 1: You'll just imagine if I gave you the superpower to
Speaker 1: grant the people that you love the most a lifetime
Speaker 1: of one thing, Like think about your baby's Jenna. If
Speaker 1: you could grant them a lifetime of one thing, what
Speaker 1: would you give them to know that they'd have the
Speaker 1: sweetest life. I would do happiness, right, okay, and no hesitation,
Speaker 1: you know that that's so important. And then let's say
Speaker 1: you could do one more thing. You could do happiness
Speaker 1: and something else to become this amazing secret sauce for
Speaker 1: the great life love, right, okay, because we can, let's health. Okay,
Speaker 1: happiness is the first one in my head, but then
Speaker 1: health okay, all right, and then let's add one more
Speaker 1: because we can, so they get this blend of happiness, health, happiness, love.
Speaker 1: What else? I would say? Bravery? But oh so good?
Speaker 1: What would you say? Cat for me to be salvation?
Speaker 1: Because I'm a believer, so I'd want them to be Yeah, saved,
Speaker 1: beautiful okay, And let's do one more just to top
Speaker 1: it off, so we have a little set of four
Speaker 1: things we're giving them. It's bravery. I was gonna say strength.
Speaker 1: That's kind of same thing as bravery, I think, right. Compassion, Yeah, empathy, compassion,
Speaker 1: how about you cat, Oh that's a good one. Um,
Speaker 1: he said, happiness. I don't say joy. Um oh, happiness, health, salvation,
Speaker 1: and one more. Um. I think if you weren't here
Speaker 1: and you needed them to be okay without you, health, happiness.
Speaker 1: Can I say one that she already said, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's true for you. I mean you said yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I think for me it would definitely be. Um,
Speaker 1: would be compassion for others for sure, right, like giving
Speaker 1: up being giving something like that. Okay, cool. So this
Speaker 1: is the trick that we just got at. This is
Speaker 1: who you both are. These four things are the gift
Speaker 1: that you are here to give in everything you do
Speaker 1: as a mama, as a friend, as a sister, as
Speaker 1: these great leaders that you are on this podcast, right,
Speaker 1: this is your give off that And I know you
Speaker 1: well enough Jiana, that happiness is what you fight for.
Speaker 1: You want that for the kids. That was one of
Speaker 1: the things that was so hard and divorce is thinking
Speaker 1: am I going to rob them? Of this and love
Speaker 1: that the family would be separate. You know that it's
Speaker 1: so these these are you your highest values. That's what
Speaker 1: we just got out is your core values. That you
Speaker 1: are one of the bravest women I know, and that
Speaker 1: you want for everyone to experience this compassion and empathy
Speaker 1: for each other. You're a big lover, so this should
Speaker 1: be what you say is who I am here to
Speaker 1: be is these four things. I'm here to live my
Speaker 1: core values full on this year and think about this
Speaker 1: is the number one reason why people leave their jobs,
Speaker 1: that they don't have people around them who respect or
Speaker 1: share their values. It's not surprising that you two have
Speaker 1: shared values. You both want happiness at the top and compassion.
Speaker 1: That's why you're a great pair. Mm hm alright, So
Speaker 1: you would design your days so that you could live
Speaker 1: these values. I think that was one of the reasons
Speaker 1: that people really reevaluated their lives these last couple of years,
Speaker 1: because being at home and really taking a look at
Speaker 1: what you stand for and who you want to be,
Speaker 1: and maybe not having the freedom to live these things.
Speaker 1: I think has us all really doubling down to live
Speaker 1: these more better this year than we have been, and
Speaker 1: to be able to be free to give them to others.
Speaker 1: I mean, think about if you didn't have a life
Speaker 1: where you were able to experience and teach the kids bravery.
Speaker 1: You know, that's a beautiful thing for you to think
Speaker 1: about the last two years and what you went through
Speaker 1: last year. Really you got to model bravery. So was
Speaker 1: it a horrible year? Was it a bad thing? It
Speaker 1: was hard, you know, but this is actually what's making
Speaker 1: you you and having your kids learn in your presence.
Speaker 1: So that's that's the who who you need to be,
Speaker 1: who you're here to be. I think that that if
Speaker 1: everybody just went through that exercise with us, you take
Speaker 1: a look at your life and you say, am I
Speaker 1: really living these values day to day? I think everybody
Speaker 1: took a big hit on the happiness and joy front,
Speaker 1: right we all want that. We all want happiness and
Speaker 1: love and so what needs to change in our lives
Speaker 1: this year so that we can have more of that? Mm?
Speaker 1: I like you flipping it too, because it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's saying one was the worst year ever. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: what was the positive? Like I was able to be
Speaker 1: braver and you know, you were able to cap for you,
Speaker 1: like you wouldn't started therapy, like you were able to
Speaker 1: grow and be you know. So I think there's things
Speaker 1: you can look at from like that seemed negative, but
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, spin it, like what's the what's the positive?
Speaker 1: Where's the growth? And like what you went through and
Speaker 1: always see I see the positive anything, you know, if
Speaker 1: you write would and Adele, you know you saw that
Speaker 1: Adele interview when she talked about her divorce and that
Speaker 1: it was that, you know, because she did that so
Speaker 1: that she could be loved at the highest count. She's
Speaker 1: fighting for love and that's your second value right there.
Speaker 1: It's mine too, And I think to just have come
Speaker 1: through this to say no, I want more love and
Speaker 1: I will have it. You know, it's important to look
Speaker 1: at the full spectrum of why all of this is happening,
Speaker 1: I think, and then after that to think about the
Speaker 1: how an exercise for how I want this year to go?
Speaker 1: What is my the quality of my experience? I think
Speaker 1: like our younger generation, my kids are nineteen and seventeen,
Speaker 1: you know, they look at what we've done as an
Speaker 1: older generation and they're like, I would never live my
Speaker 1: life like this, Like the way you guys work or
Speaker 1: the things that you've put up with, you know, or
Speaker 1: the way the world is. They have such high hopes
Speaker 1: to change things, and so they value the how I think,
Speaker 1: more than some generations before us, the quality of our lives.
Speaker 1: And so I would say, decide on like four to
Speaker 1: six core desired feelings. How do I want to feel
Speaker 1: this year? You know, maybe a lot of people showed
Speaker 1: up to last year thinking I'm going to feel these feelings,
Speaker 1: or or maybe they didn't even consider that and then
Speaker 1: they just got swept away by all the fear, you know,
Speaker 1: and I think the media wants us to be afraid.
Speaker 1: But if we say no, I'm actually here to feel
Speaker 1: ecstasy this year, you know, then it would define how
Speaker 1: you what your choices are, how you make your plans,
Speaker 1: what your goals are. M hmm. It puts you back
Speaker 1: in the driver's seat, which I think, no matter what
Speaker 1: craziness happens this year, if you're intentional about how you
Speaker 1: want to feel, you will have that. Yeah, intentional it
Speaker 1: is good. And I'm writing I'm writing all this time
Speaker 1: in my notes right now because I'm like I want
Speaker 1: to look at that, like I think, yeah, every morning
Speaker 1: being like all right, who did I say I wanted
Speaker 1: to how did I want to feel? You know? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And who am I becoming? I mean, I just think
Speaker 1: that gives us such freedom to go through all the
Speaker 1: highs and lows, like you said, to be brave. Like
Speaker 1: my metaphor for life is surfing. You know, nobody goes
Speaker 1: out into the water to have a bad time, so
Speaker 1: you think I'm here to have a good time. I
Speaker 1: believe that we all took a body in this life
Speaker 1: to have a great ride. And if the waves get
Speaker 1: really big, that's the whole point. You want to ride it.
Speaker 1: We just need to learn how to ride well. And
Speaker 1: hopefully you're out there in the water with your friends,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's consider that too. Is is what's
Speaker 1: the flavor of this this year gonna be? Is it
Speaker 1: going to be like art? Are you making your life?
Speaker 1: Like art is your metaphor for life? A dance you're
Speaker 1: do in the chatch house some days? You know, like
Speaker 1: if you have that kind of frame for it, then
Speaker 1: I think there's freedom about how it shows up. Yeah, thinking, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's it's it's good. It's just it's the unknown.
Speaker 1: But it's also there's something so beautiful and the unknown,
Speaker 1: Like I was that's that's such a church. When I
Speaker 1: was telling you should watch UM with one of the
Speaker 1: pastors she was she was basically saying like, if we
Speaker 1: were to follow ways, it's She's like, it's nice. She's like,
Speaker 1: you can see where a police car is and you
Speaker 1: can see where an accident's heading. She's like, if that's
Speaker 1: what our life was like, She's like, how boring would
Speaker 1: that be? You know, she's basically saying like God ways,
Speaker 1: God's ways are better than our ways in a sense
Speaker 1: where she's like it's hard and it's you know, it's um,
Speaker 1: it's it's unknown, but like, how how boring would it
Speaker 1: be if we're like, Okay, this is this, this is that,
Speaker 1: this is how our years gonna look and you're gonna
Speaker 1: have heartbreak here and this is this is going to
Speaker 1: be here and then there's gonna be something. You're gonna
Speaker 1: lose your job here. It's like and it's like, that's
Speaker 1: what a boring life to live? You know, any way
Speaker 1: you would live up to that, you're living like you know,
Speaker 1: you only have thirty days. You're living like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lose my job in six months. Yeah that's a
Speaker 1: good point. Yeah, So I just like that really like
Speaker 1: stuck out to me too, where it's like, okay, is
Speaker 1: if you have this um you know, you look at
Speaker 1: your thing in the morning and say, sorry, who do
Speaker 1: I want to be? How do I want to live today?
Speaker 1: Like that's then you know you're it's not gonna be perfect,
Speaker 1: but at least you've set some some you know, stuff
Speaker 1: out there. Whatever. Yeah, well you're saying like if you
Speaker 1: both are about compassion and so on any given day,
Speaker 1: you say, all right, I want to really know myself
Speaker 1: as compassion. I want to be the source of compassion
Speaker 1: for all beings. Today. You could get cut off on
Speaker 1: the road, you know, you could have something bad news,
Speaker 1: all kinds of things, but you've already set the flavor
Speaker 1: of the day to be I am a vessel for compassion,
Speaker 1: you know, then then you can handle anything. That's what
Speaker 1: would compassion do? You know? And that's how you respond
Speaker 1: to everything, and you learn and grow that day and
Speaker 1: you are such a blessing for others. What you talked about,
Speaker 1: Jenna and the and the uncertainty of life is we
Speaker 1: have equal needs for certainty and uncertainty. We don't want
Speaker 1: to read the last page of the book or fast
Speaker 1: forward the movie to know how it ends. First we
Speaker 1: need surprise and excitement and unknown. It keeps us engaged,
Speaker 1: it keeps relationships interesting. It's so it's so true. But
Speaker 1: I'm also the person that went to the last episode
Speaker 1: of if WT together like the second I did. Absolutely
Speaker 1: I did. And then I was like, Okay, good they
Speaker 1: end up together, because I was like, I can't handle Like,
Speaker 1: but what if they didn't? Would you have just not
Speaker 1: gone through it? No? I was still want to watch it,
Speaker 1: but I've been upset, Like it's honestly, you would have
Speaker 1: been upset the whole time. I would have. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is so interesting because see, that's how you can only
Speaker 1: handle uncertainty if you have enough certainty. Right, people who
Speaker 1: do the best in life, who can handle what is
Speaker 1: life is unknown, life has changed, that's the nature of it.
Speaker 1: So the people who have enough certainty in life will
Speaker 1: handle all that uncertainty really well. So you both have faith, right,
Speaker 1: That's where you get a lot of your certainty is
Speaker 1: knowing that you are being held by God or by
Speaker 1: your beliefs. Right. Everyone needs to go into this year
Speaker 1: figuring out where is my certainty coming from? So I
Speaker 1: can route down in that, you know, in the surfing metaphor,
Speaker 1: it's like I know that I've got enough skill or
Speaker 1: enough fearlessness bravery to handle the unknown of the ocean.
Speaker 1: You know. So you did that and then bridgertain when
Speaker 1: you got your certainty in a different way. But I
Speaker 1: think in two terms, and it's totally darling. It's great
Speaker 1: however you want to get it. I think it's really
Speaker 1: important to spend a lot of time visualizing how you
Speaker 1: want this year to go. And I mean, like playing
Speaker 1: the movie full technicolor. This is what I know I'm
Speaker 1: going to experience, like place your order with the universe
Speaker 1: by seeing the movie, seeing it daily, even like just
Speaker 1: before you know you do a podcast, seeing how it's
Speaker 1: going to go. It's like so much science behind this,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, but then what happens when it doesn't work?
Speaker 1: And let's say let's say I'm I'm I'm praying for
Speaker 1: this like relationship and the I'm like, oh, we broke up,
Speaker 1: Like what then? What? Because I'm like, well, I just
Speaker 1: did what you said for the last six months and
Speaker 1: now I'm heartbroken. I know. Well, there's there's a co
Speaker 1: creation I all the time, right, But here's here's how
Speaker 1: it goes for me is I see it, see it,
Speaker 1: see it, see it, see it. I placed the order
Speaker 1: with the universe, right, this is how I wanted to go.
Speaker 1: That means I'm stoking the field, like I'm putting my
Speaker 1: energy and my frequency which is equally powerful out there
Speaker 1: for what I want happen. And then there's this, ever
Speaker 1: so subtle at the end of it all surrender to
Speaker 1: But if you've got something better for me, may it
Speaker 1: be so? Right? Like let me be surprised. I just
Speaker 1: was in a relationship that I thought was my person.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is it? I have found him
Speaker 1: not so much. I had to let it go. And
Speaker 1: who still knows what's going to happen next, you know,
Speaker 1: but I know that my clarity around the kind of
Speaker 1: way I want to help you. M No, yes, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I know it's okay though, I'm like, all right, I
Speaker 1: guess there's it's either him later or somebody who can
Speaker 1: love the way I want to love. I'm listening to
Speaker 1: that adult song Think so I'm like, but I know
Speaker 1: how I want to experience relationship in this life and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to compromise, you know, so seeing it
Speaker 1: as better not Yeah, like didn't happen because it's going
Speaker 1: to be better, which is a good point. Yeah, which
Speaker 1: I that's my belief is so strong that I'm being
Speaker 1: so guided and held. And I know, you know, we've
Speaker 1: talked about desires, like if you have a desire in
Speaker 1: life that's so strong, you know, for the kind of
Speaker 1: life that you want to have or the kind of
Speaker 1: love you want to have, I think that's in us
Speaker 1: because that's what our soul is here to experience, you know.
Speaker 1: So if that got pulled out of my life, that
Speaker 1: relationship right now, I believe it's because he's either going
Speaker 1: to go and get more prepared for what we're supposed
Speaker 1: to have together, or there's somebody else who's in the
Speaker 1: wings waiting to experience that with me, because the desire
Speaker 1: is just too strong, you know. And I think the
Speaker 1: timelines are speeding up. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: are experiencing this, but when you want something, it feels
Speaker 1: like things are coming much faster. Lessons are blowing through
Speaker 1: much more quickly, you know. So I'm open just staying
Speaker 1: open a friend. My heart hurts for you. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know, you know, it's the positive outlook but I
Speaker 1: still like, I love you, and you know, we've been
Speaker 1: on a journey together, so I just in my heart
Speaker 1: empathize I'm sorry, I love you. Mm hmm. I'm kind
Speaker 1: of excited though we're like, okay, well is somebody cute
Speaker 1: or more amazing? Okay? How long was it? Oh, it's
Speaker 1: a long story. It was like a two year kind
Speaker 1: of an amazing thing, and then it was like six months,
Speaker 1: you know, really going for it at this moment um
Speaker 1: this year, which felt right on, you know, but I
Speaker 1: think there were huge gifts that we gave each other,
Speaker 1: so it's not like I'm coming away without like armfuls
Speaker 1: good things. Well, what dating apple are we going to
Speaker 1: put you on? I know? God, I'm actually I'm like,
Speaker 1: let's be set up this time, Like I want to
Speaker 1: put all my friends and family, like they're already two
Speaker 1: really good friends who are like, wait a minute, I
Speaker 1: have somebody for you, and I feel like that's the
Speaker 1: ultimate dating app. And that's true, you know, when your
Speaker 1: people really know you so much better than an algorithms
Speaker 1: one percent true. So for you then like for the people,
Speaker 1: for all of us, not everyone, but that you like,
Speaker 1: how do you go in? Because I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 1: this is just because this isn't how my mom was,
Speaker 1: but she's like, I'm gonna be alone forever. And I
Speaker 1: have those fears, you know, where it's like I'm going
Speaker 1: to be alone forever, and it's like can you turn
Speaker 1: it and go, Okay, well what if I what if
Speaker 1: I am? And one thousand percent this is very important
Speaker 1: because I've also had this feeling because you know, I
Speaker 1: was divorced stages ago, and I've been where you are
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, dear, and so we'll have
Speaker 1: these thoughts that were like the worst fear of thoughts.
Speaker 1: I'm in my forties, I'm like whatever, I'm in how
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I'm done. Yeah, no, I fifty one,
Speaker 1: for God's sakes, I'm like hello. So you have to
Speaker 1: look at the fear the thought comes up. You look
Speaker 1: at square in the face like you could almost take
Speaker 1: it by the shoulders, and you go, Okay, what if
Speaker 1: I am alone for the rest of my life? What
Speaker 1: will I do? How will it be? Who will I become?
Speaker 1: You ask these same questions, who am I going to be?
Speaker 1: And how will I do it? What's the flavor of
Speaker 1: the experience going to be? Like and you know what
Speaker 1: my answer is, if that's my plan, B I'm very
Speaker 1: clear there's this person coming. But if for some reason
Speaker 1: you get hit by a truck where I know this
Speaker 1: aunt of mine, this great aunt who came into it
Speaker 1: with my husband's aunt, call her Aunt Betty. She was
Speaker 1: like eighty something when I met her, and the hottest
Speaker 1: little cookie on the golf course, and she had all
Speaker 1: the lovers, all the guys who were after her until
Speaker 1: her very last day. And I would say, maybe I'm
Speaker 1: so much woman that I have to have all the lovers,
Speaker 1: and that that would be the way that I would
Speaker 1: know love would be through all the lovers, and that
Speaker 1: I would just have this incredible, amazing, different kind of
Speaker 1: inexperience of love, maybe a more expanded view of not
Speaker 1: just one person but the many and I would have
Speaker 1: I can already see it, like all the travel and
Speaker 1: all the gypsying and all the freedom. Right. So that's
Speaker 1: my worst case scenario. Now I means scenario sounds kind
Speaker 1: of fine, thank you, thank you exactly. I remember Angelina
Speaker 1: Jolie said that before Brad Pitt. She was like, I'm
Speaker 1: just going to be fine in my hotel rooms with
Speaker 1: my lovers just have much children. I don't need a man.
Speaker 1: I mean it's true, like once you have, and that's
Speaker 1: kind of like what I've noticed, like you dating now
Speaker 1: that I have my kids, and like I ain't settling
Speaker 1: for sure, you know, there's no there's no point like
Speaker 1: because I you know, I've got my friends and sure,
Speaker 1: do I want to live the rest of my life alone? No?
Speaker 1: Do I think that's going to happen. No, But like
Speaker 1: it's like because I won't because I'll have my kids
Speaker 1: and we'll have our we'll have our bed of lovers,
Speaker 1: we will have all the things, all the things, and
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, it's like it's like I don't
Speaker 1: need anything. I've got two beautiful children. But I don't
Speaker 1: know sometimes did you this is probably like a really
Speaker 1: bad way of thinking, But did you ever think back
Speaker 1: and go like, oh, man, maybe I should just stayed
Speaker 1: with my ex because it's like Lisa, I have somebody,
Speaker 1: because there's nobody perfect out there. There's nobody perfect. However, No,
Speaker 1: I mean I haven't either, But I'm just saying like
Speaker 1: there are times and when I'm just like, well, I mean,
Speaker 1: like I guess I could have turned a blind eye
Speaker 1: but like, how is that living? You know it's not no,
Speaker 1: no way, no, because you came in this life with
Speaker 1: this really high bar for all the things. You know,
Speaker 1: you're a goal set realistic. I'm realistic. You you are
Speaker 1: actually listening. You've got embedded patriarchy, and you like that's
Speaker 1: the culture saying listen, lady, get in line, be like
Speaker 1: everyone else. Calm down. That's not who you're here to
Speaker 1: be in this life. Do not. I will not let
Speaker 1: you lower that bar. You're here to be a leader,
Speaker 1: and you're here to have mad experiences like I'm here
Speaker 1: to have an epic love affair and I have to
Speaker 1: do it maybe with many people. I love many, But no,
Speaker 1: I'm not lowering the bar. And I you know, you
Speaker 1: know the story. My X and I did what we
Speaker 1: needed to do in ten years now. We didn't need
Speaker 1: a lifetime. There's no going back. He's just a good
Speaker 1: friend now and it's lovely. But I grew too much,
Speaker 1: too fat, like it just yeah, you gotta be with
Speaker 1: people who are continuing at your pace. Yeah, any more
Speaker 1: words of advice anymore, just just just shoot me up
Speaker 1: down my hair. I'm just like, just give me everything.
Speaker 1: I just shouldn't you do a little exercise. I love you.
Speaker 1: Let's do another and I think this will be like
Speaker 1: a great way to just part and we'll take people
Speaker 1: through this and then and it's a tool that I
Speaker 1: want you to use all the time, because when we
Speaker 1: talk about who do you want to be? Sometimes it's
Speaker 1: really hard if you're triggered, or you're hurt, or you're
Speaker 1: down and you can't like pull yourself back up. This
Speaker 1: is what I do to bring it back online. And
Speaker 1: it's pretty fast, Okay, So you can close your eyes
Speaker 1: if you want. Sometimes it's easier that way. And what
Speaker 1: you're gonna do is bring your attention to your feet
Speaker 1: and you're gonna start there and you're gonna connect to
Speaker 1: the earth. I forget all the time that there's this
Speaker 1: giant globe, this nature that's holding us. And just throw
Speaker 1: roots down from the base of your feet down into
Speaker 1: the earth, like you reconnected, re estab wishing that that
Speaker 1: support is there for you. And then imagine you can
Speaker 1: pull earth into your feet. It's always green to me,
Speaker 1: like you'll see a color, you'll feel a feeling and
Speaker 1: maybe tingle, and you pull in that earth energy and
Speaker 1: then you can just ask like Earth, what do you
Speaker 1: want me to know today? What are you here to
Speaker 1: give me today? And then keeping that bring fire from
Speaker 1: your ankles all the way up to like just below
Speaker 1: the belly button, fill your legs and your pelvis with fire.
Speaker 1: It just turns you back on in every way and
Speaker 1: reminds you of your power. The warmth, the heat, the
Speaker 1: energy that's here to create in this life. That is you.
Speaker 1: And you ask fire, what are you here to give me?
Speaker 1: What do you have to teach me today? And then
Speaker 1: keeping that earth and that fire, like you can already
Speaker 1: feel yourself coming back online from the belly button up
Speaker 1: to the base of the throat, become the ocean. So
Speaker 1: you're on the super grounded place with the feet fired
Speaker 1: up alive, and then you're floating. You're just the expansiveness
Speaker 1: of the ocean, the depth, the wisdom, the vastness on
Speaker 1: top of fire. This is who you are. And you
Speaker 1: can let the ocean open your heart and remind you
Speaker 1: of who you are. You can ask the ocean, what
Speaker 1: are you here to give me today? And then on
Speaker 1: top of earth and fire and all of this vastness
Speaker 1: the water, then from your throat up to the top
Speaker 1: of your head, open up your head, and you fill
Speaker 1: with air, fresh air, like you can come down into
Speaker 1: your mind and just clear out like a gentle breeze,
Speaker 1: all the thoughts, all the doubts, all the fears, fresh reset,
Speaker 1: open up your throat, open up your voice, your truth,
Speaker 1: and then you just ask air, what are you here
Speaker 1: to give me today? And then know that all four
Speaker 1: of these things, this is the entire universe, This is
Speaker 1: who you are. You have all of these elements at
Speaker 1: your service every moment. That's it. Yes, and now here
Speaker 1: you are. Anything is possible, Anything is possible your year, everybody, Okay,
Speaker 1: right here and uh you see Sharie with like ten dudes.
Speaker 1: Just give her a little way, girl, friend, get it.
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you. We'll see in a
Speaker 1: few months. You know, I'll have something mental breakdown. In
Speaker 1: a few months. I'll need you, and it'll be all
Speaker 1: in the service of your becoming, all according to plan. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, thanks girl, alright talk bye. Hey guys and
Speaker 1: Ashley from the almost famous podcast, It's that time of
Speaker 1: year where drama fills the air. The Bachelor was back
Speaker 1: with an all new season, premiering January three. There's a
Speaker 1: new host, Jesse Palmer and a brand new bachelor, Clayton.
Speaker 1: Clayton is a Midwest boy that has that great smile,
Speaker 1: nice teeth, and he's really tall as let's call it
Speaker 1: what it is, he's a beefcake. Okay, Well, Clayton seems
Speaker 1: to be a good guy though, and he can't wait
Speaker 1: to find love, get married, and have kids. And he
Speaker 1: believes more than anything that his future wife is on
Speaker 1: this show. It sounds like a fairy tale but also
Speaker 1: a bit of an emotional world coaster because Clayton tells
Speaker 1: three different women he's falling in love with him. Technically,
Speaker 1: he told one, I couldn't be more sure that I'm
Speaker 1: falling in love with him, and another one I'm falling
Speaker 1: in love with you, and the third one, I am
Speaker 1: in love with you. You don't miss a thing. It's
Speaker 1: some years of over analyzing everything that guys say, but
Speaker 1: his heart is in the right place. But other parts
Speaker 1: of him as we find out what he admits that
Speaker 1: two different women that he was intimate with both of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's gonna go over well, we'll be
Speaker 1: breaking down it all on the Almost Famous podcast. Ben
Speaker 1: is married now Well, Ashley is a mom will change
Speaker 1: our opinions of what we think is acceptable. Single behavior
Speaker 1: good question. Listen to Almost Famous on the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: I am obsessed with Oh I just love her so much.
Speaker 1: All the lovers, it's so good. My heart like broke.
Speaker 1: But again it's um, it's kind of things. It's wasn't
Speaker 1: the one and that's okay, better out there? Do you?
Speaker 1: By the way, do I feeling therapy, Like, God, don't ask,
Speaker 1: don't ask me what what I just thought I thought about?
Speaker 1: Because it's like I don't ask me because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I did dream somewhere else and then like I lose it.
Speaker 1: But that was so like good though, I'm gonna actually
Speaker 1: the back to that and do that because I need
Speaker 1: to start practicing because I feel so much better when
Speaker 1: I do meditate. I really do. My mind definitely wanders
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh crap, she's gonna ask yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what was the question? What was that sposed
Speaker 1: to feel fire? I don't know. I feel I feel
Speaker 1: stability that just like at least in therapy, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like it can be nothing. I can't because they
Speaker 1: got nothing I know, but no, I love I love
Speaker 1: doing like I have the I do headspace on there
Speaker 1: and there's like a three minute guided Once times I
Speaker 1: do that, there's a balloon one usually have some anxiety,
Speaker 1: but it's good. I need to do it more like
Speaker 1: it's like the last time I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen us in October. Thanks for calling me. I
Speaker 1: need your energy though. I want to be like that positive,
Speaker 1: that energetic about you know, and not just complacent. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I wasn't calling because no, but I can be for
Speaker 1: sure it's made great here. I didn't know that was.
Speaker 1: I do believe that though, no, no, I really do
Speaker 1: think it will be a great year. Yeah, what are
Speaker 1: you looking forward? I know we talked about this, but like,
Speaker 1: how are you not going to be complacent? So I
Speaker 1: think what I took the most from today is the
Speaker 1: whole compassion thing. I want to just be more compassionate,
Speaker 1: do things for others, not talk about other people, just
Speaker 1: like who I want to be. I'm going to take that.
Speaker 1: And I loved that that she said, start with who
Speaker 1: you want to be, because I think I think about
Speaker 1: that a lot when I'm being somebody I don't want
Speaker 1: to be UM, so I'm gonna start there, and that's
Speaker 1: how I'm going to make it a good year, not
Speaker 1: based on what happens in that year, but who I
Speaker 1: become and who I am. That was really encouraging to
Speaker 1: me when she said that this is one of the
Speaker 1: podcasts I'm definitely gonna listen back to. Yeah for sure,
Speaker 1: because I want to go through all that again. Yes,
Speaker 1: she's great, God, I love her. I'm just less everyone.
Speaker 1: Let's just take that energy and go freaking crush. Yet,
Speaker 1: I've got some updates on some things that we can
Speaker 1: update the next next show. Okay, you know, because it's
Speaker 1: like going into the New Year's like, like you said, uh,
Speaker 1: with compassion yet not um not letting people in that
Speaker 1: kind of way you down. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm there
Speaker 1: for sure. Um all right, we'll see guys next week.
Speaker 1: By