WEBVTT - This is Gonna Be Your Year 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.399 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:15.080 Happy New Year, We're here, I think whatever get here. Yeah. 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:17.040 Have you feel like you've been living in a twilight 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:20.800 though for the past a couple of years. Two years 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:25.960 someone I was trying my furnace broke and so I was, um, 0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:29.440 I was calling and they're like, well, really backed up. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.360 We can't see you until April. I was like, April, 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:37.559 your furnace so the gas, yeah, it's like not turning on. 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:40.080 And I was like until April. And they're like, yeah, 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:42.000 we're really sorry. And I was like, okay. I called 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:46.120 three of their places and they say April. I'm like, 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:49.239 I'm not gonna meet it in April. I would like 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:53.800 it because they probably don't have anybody to work well either. 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:56.560 My point, I guess to that is like I just 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.360 feel like, I'm like, have we been backed up since? 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.959 Probably we just never caught up. Yeah, So what happens 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:09.840 when it gets cold? I mean I still have a 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:14.160 Heater's just my gas or electric? This is a trick question. 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.480 I don't think of these things. If it's gas, you're 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.760 going to force my rent? Where force my rent to husbands? 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:25.199 Electric heat? Yeah? My heat works I think I'm gonna 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.200 go with my heat still works, Okay, I guess we'll 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.600 find out. Well that doesn't make sense. Then, well some 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:34.520 people have gas heat and some people have electric heat. 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:38.640 Mm hmm, we have gas, I think, Oh, I don't know. 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:41.360 I think we have gas. See you don't even know. No, 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:45.120 I'm not like you. I'm just asking. So it's like 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:49.280 your your stoves not working. No, my stove is working great, 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:55.640 it's my my okay, ready for champagne problems. My my, 0:01:55.640 --> 0:02:02.440 my spa is not heating up. Your spat, your spa spa. 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:06.080 It makes it sound way more like problem. No, yes, 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.720 my my hot tub is not heating up, and neither 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:14.120 is my um my, my fireplace won't turn on. And 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.280 I've had two of my I've had two rental husbands 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.560 come over to try to figure it out. My neighbor 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:22.119 Jason came over and it's like, my gas isn't even 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:25.960 like there's no gas coming out. And because I'm like 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.960 real scared of gas, because I'm like, if I were 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.040 to light a match right now, we'd blow up. If 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:32.919 like that's that's what I think of gas. I get 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:36.160 scared of gas, you know, I get it. Um so 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.640 I just I'm like, I need a man to come 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.320 over and do this. So I call my neighbor Jason, 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:45.240 and I was like, Jason, it's Jana. I was like, 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:47.799 I can't figure out my gas, Like my fireplace isn't 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:50.760 turning on like you know I want. I like, I'm 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:54.040 a romantic with a fireplace. Well that's a bummer, but 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:56.160 it doesn't sound like it's a full gas problem. If 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:58.560 you're stove is working because you have a gas stove, 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:02.799 don't you night it? Yes, So it's branding there. Oh, 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.440 so there can be different lines. There's gonna I guess 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.920 there has to be if that one's not working and 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:12.320 then your show is working. Interesting interesting, I mean I 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:16.280 mean all all you know, I don't know. But anyways, 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:21.320 going into I just feel like what like because I 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.359 feel like no one knew it was going to be hard, 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:26.080 and then it was hard and the one was like 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.520 a recovery of So it's like, what's two going to be? 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:34.760 It's got to be good. I need we naturally has to. 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:36.520 I don't think we can afford for it not to be. 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:39.640 If I'm being just completely honest, it's got to turn up. 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:46.160 I mean flu like like like I have to say this, 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:49.960 it sucked. I'm like, I got a divorce in I 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:52.880 think was definitely a rough It couldn't get any more. 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:56.000 I don't think I can get. I'm not going to 0:03:56.080 --> 0:04:03.240 say what could be worse, but you know, death, but um, 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:05.760 it's gonna be great. I'm feeling I feel like we 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:09.120 say that every time. No, we did. I think every 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:12.040 single one of us is like, it's gonna be our year, 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.960 It's gonna be everyone's year. We were definitely duped, but 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.120 I don't want to It's like January and then all 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.960 of a sudden February March, Yeah, exactly. And then they 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:24.680 said the same thing about so it's like does every year, Like, 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:26.880 I feel like you have to say every year, it's 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.520 going to be your year because if not, like, who's 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:31.480 going to go into it going it's not gonna be 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:34.640 this year's gonna suck. I think this year is just 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:40.240 going to be the same. Well that sucks. But if 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.200 I'm being but how do we change that? That's why 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.039 I want to talk to Shari about because because we 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:49.080 have a Shari coming on Healey, who's obviously she's a 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.360 fan favorite on the show. But I want to ask 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:54.120 her that because it's like you can't go into it 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:55.760 being like, well, it's not going to be your year, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:57.480 but you also can't go into me like it's gonna 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.960 be my year and then have your expectations to be like, 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.760 this is the worst year of my life. Forgot divorced, 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:04.680 this happened. But covid, I think that's the problem with 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:07.120 people like us, because we set high expectations and we 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.720 get disappointed really easily. Well yeah, so it's like if 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.320 you just go in like it's just gonna be normal, 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.840 it's gonna be just how do you set goals when 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:16.600 it's just I think you can set goals, but it 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.520 just is another freaking year. Oh it's kind of like 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:25.240 it sounds to domestic, but it it just doesn't sound exciting, No, 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:27.680 Like it just sounds like you're just living. And I'm like, 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:31.400 I don't want to just live. I want to live. No, right, 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:34.400 I understand, Do you know what I mean? Chase that Joy, 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:37.280 I get it, Chasing joy saying yes, okay, I get 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:42.600 a hashtag, Chase Joy. You think radical race Chasing Joys, 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:46.760 it's all fair, and I agree, But I feel like 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.560 every January is like started off like that. So again, 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:51.720 I guess the question is how do you carry that 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.680 through the year, not just like have this excitement at 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:59.840 the beginning of the year and then let it all fall. Yeah. Like, 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:03.359 I'm staring at a piano right now in our little studio. 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:07.919 It's Jolie's, but it's also the little do you know, 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:12.559 I also got it for me too. I also would 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:16.719 like to relearn piano from when I was jolling stage. 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:20.880 So like I was thinking of getting a teacher coming over. Okay, 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:23.719 they teach the kids, they teach me. We learned to 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.159 play piano because I only know one one song, this 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:29.719 is less song, and they have a good thing about 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:34.400 cheese less. So yeah, so that's the only song I 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.719 can play a piano, and I'd like to learn another one. 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:40.800 I think that's a great goal, right, it would have, 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:44.000 but but we're most likely going to be sitting here 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:48.520 in another year going still only know the less. So 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:53.839 the good thing about you, I think it's prioritizing. That's 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:58.320 the word goals, and you have a million goals and 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:02.840 not enough hours in the day. You're good at that. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:10.800 It's prioritizing what the goals are. Mm hmmm. Soana was 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:17.040 a goal, prioritize it. That's my advice for Yeah, so 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:19.400 we've got shrey. I'm gonna blow my nose because you 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:23.640 know what did come into two my cold. So um, 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:25.560 we're gonna take a break, blown the nose and we'll 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:39.000 get sure you on ask for all these questions. Hello, 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:44.080 it's so good to see you. Good to see you too, 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.880 um katn I were just talking about how like I 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:52.440 feel like, Okay, I feel like, you know, everyone's like, 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:54.560 this is going to be our year, and obviously it wasn't. 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:55.960 And then it's like, all right, this is gonna be 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:59.320 our year. And then one was like the recovery too, 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.480 and now it's twenty going to one. And then I 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.880 was like, but now I'm kind of like, is it? 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.480 Are we psyching ourselves out? Every time we say this 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:11.320 is gonna be your year? Because I'm like, is it though? 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.040 Because I'm like, well, last year I got divorced, and 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.400 like something bad probably is going to happen this year 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.560 or you know, like not as worse as that. I 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.120 don't know who knows, but like, but it's just one 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:22.360 of those things where I feel like, are we like 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:24.640 psyching ourselves out? Are we are this is this kind 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.240 of like I am so happy about being positive and 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.520 mean like, yeah, this is our year, but I'm almost like, 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.760 why are we setting it ourselves up to like be like, oh, yeah, 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:36.800 I know this year sucked. Well, here's the really important 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.520 question to ask. I'm a possibilitarian, you know that, Like, 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:42.840 I think anything is possible, and I do say that 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:44.480 every year like this is going to be the year. 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:48.240 And I don't know if all of us go about 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:51.920 designing the year in the way that would make it 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:57.600 our year, or that we end the year with the 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:01.960 right meaning, the right understanding of how the year went right. 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:05.080 So it's tricky. It's it's I'm not about doing what 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.240 a lot of people do to imagine the worst, prepare 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.360 for the worst so that you don't get disappointed, you know, 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:13.520 to just set your bar low and be like, yeah, 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:15.040 this is probably going to be a rough year like 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:19.400 the last two. I'm not about that. I'm more about Okay, 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.480 so we went through some really hard times the last 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:26.800 couple of years. Why why is it just that it 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:28.959 was like all of our power and freedom was taken 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:33.080 from us? Was it just a ship show or is 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:37.400 it this global awakening? Are we about to enter into 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:41.120 a renaissance era, a golden age, the imagination age, right, 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.360 like people are saying, and I believe this, that we 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:48.320 are now in a in a world where anything truly 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:53.200 is possible. The great Resignation happened, right, people have really 0:09:53.320 --> 0:10:00.080 come to reevaluate and reset how they were living. And 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:03.240 I think this year we've learned a lot. We've learned 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:04.880 a lot going through the hard times. I mean, I, 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:06.920 as a kid, never wanted to go through the hard times. 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:08.600 I thought life is supposed to be a joy ride. 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:12.200 And then I grew up and realized that we can 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.679 only learn and grow when things are tough, when there's pain. 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:21.120 So I have high hopes for this year, really high 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:24.720 hopes because of that. And then what you do to 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:27.360 set yourself up to have the year of your life 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.280 is what we should talk about. You know, that you 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:34.679 don't just cruise into this year like a passenger, you know, 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:38.320 in your life, waiting for whatever is going to come, 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:40.600 you know, sort of. I think a lot of people's 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:45.080 belief in what's possible has been shattered, you know, and 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.920 that's what needs to be restored. That just because we've 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:52.080 been so disconnected and had to go through such hard times. 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.040 If we don't believe that something better is on the 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:56.920 other side of this, then we'll continue to be in 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:59.240 that spin cycle. I think. Well. Also, I was like 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:00.719 kind of telling calth her and she's like, it's just 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:02.280 another year. I'm like, I don't want it to be 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:06.280 just another year, you know me, Like I can't. I 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:10.320 need to, like I and I love like bring me 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.199 the highs and lows, Like the lows have made me, 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:15.360 you know, high and helped this and like grow and 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.319 learn and shape. That's fine. Like I'm I'm not saying 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:20.600 I want the perfect, best, amazing year, and I know 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:23.440 that's not reality. But I also know, like I can 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:27.200 like last year, as hard as one was for me 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.240 with the divorce, I still learned so much about myself 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:31.719 and I healed and I grew and I'm going to 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:33.720 continue to grow and them and continue to heal. So 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.840 it's like, I like I want those things. I just 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:41.400 how do you stay positive and how do you not 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:43.920 get not saying cat not saying you're complacent, but I'm 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:45.360 just saying, like, how do you not just be like 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:47.280 it's just another year, like whatever, I'm just gonna go 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.679 every day and whatever. Well, think about this, if if 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.360 any of us got a diagnosis you know that said 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.400 we had dirty days or a year to live, if 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.080 this was it, that's something to think about. What would 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.959 you do. Would you say it's just another year if 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:05.080 you knew it was your last? You know, probably not. 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:07.480 And I think that's a good place to start to 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.800 just say what what we did learn? One of those 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.400 big lessons is life is precious, and we lost a 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.240 lot of people in the last couple of years, and 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.960 so if we if we really hold and that's an 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.800 ancient way of being right in Buddhism and in the 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:26.080 Contra and many cultures, this awareness of death is is 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.560 such a gift because in that then you live with 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:35.400 greater awareness and gratitude, like for every little moment in 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:37.800 life that it could be your last. And that could 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:40.959 sound morbid to some people, but it's actually really lovely 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:42.880 if you think about, you know, the gift that we're 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.680 all still here. We made it, so we're here for 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.440 a reason. There's a great you know, I love Dr 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:51.760 Zach Bush and he always says, if you're alive at 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:54.520 this moment in human history, it's for a big reason 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.440 that we all are here for this craziness, you know, 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.880 and to just side who do you want to be 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:05.280 this year? You know, Like you're so great at goals, Jenna. 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.920 We've talked so much about the way you just crush 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:09.920 it and you decide what you want. And I think 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.200 we're all very aware of setting goals and intentions at 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.120 the beginning of the year. I think I do it 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:17.280 differently this year. I think I would put the what 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:22.080 you want at the end, think about who do you 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:24.720 want to be this year? Who do you want to become? 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.840 You know, what were you born for to become fully 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.520 Janna in this life? Like what kind of Janna are 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.760 you going to be this year? And put the who first, 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.800 and then the how? How do I want to experience 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.800 this year? How do I want to feel? How am 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.640 I going to let myself be helped and supported? If 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.559 we learned anything in these last two years, we're not 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:48.800 supposed to do this alone. You know, we're all disconnected 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.680 and we need to get reconnected and be in circles 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:56.640 and supported by friends and all the great you know helpers. 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:01.280 There's coaches, therapists, but there's energy alers, and there's breath work, 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.880 and there's like psychics and astrologers. I mean, there's so 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:07.440 many people that you could turn to to be supported, 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.280 and I don't think people get supported. Well, you know, 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.120 we're in this individualistic culture that says we have to 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.920 do everything on our own, and that's too rough. We're 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:19.720 not going to do that anymore. And then after the 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:21.960 who and the how, then I'd start to look at 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.720 what and place your order with the universe, you know, 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.680 and set the goals and things. But the who and 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:31.040 the how would really define your experience of this year, 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.120 no matter what happens. Right at the end of the 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:37.760 year next year, you could say, did I become a 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:43.160 greater version of myself? And how has I helped and supported? 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.560 Like maybe you call in all these new friends and 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:50.520 community and beautiful things and you experienced feelings you've never experienced. 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:57.360 Then the what takes care of itself. Hmm. I love that. 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:02.360 It's great. Yeah, yeah, we could do a little exercise 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:05.680 you want on this, but I thinks would be I love, 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.400 I love taking you through little experiences and then the 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.200 people can do this along with us, and I think 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.840 it will help us start on the who, you know, 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:15.760 because it's a big question. It's like who do I 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.240 want to be. That's like pretty big, but we can 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.840 make it really tangible with this. So this is going 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.600 to feel like left field, but it's not so sting me. 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:29.200 You'll just imagine if I gave you the superpower to 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:33.000 grant the people that you love the most a lifetime 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.600 of one thing, Like think about your baby's Jenna. If 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:40.600 you could grant them a lifetime of one thing, what 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:43.200 would you give them to know that they'd have the 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:49.840 sweetest life. I would do happiness, right, okay, and no hesitation, 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.840 you know that that's so important. And then let's say 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:55.400 you could do one more thing. You could do happiness 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:59.080 and something else to become this amazing secret sauce for 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:08.080 the great life love, right, okay, because we can, let's health. Okay, 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.440 happiness is the first one in my head, but then 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:14.080 health okay, all right, and then let's add one more 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:19.360 because we can, so they get this blend of happiness, health, happiness, love. 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:27.800 What else? I would say? Bravery? But oh so good? 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.960 What would you say? Cat for me to be salvation? 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:35.080 Because I'm a believer, so I'd want them to be Yeah, saved, 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:38.960 beautiful okay, And let's do one more just to top 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.360 it off, so we have a little set of four 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:48.640 things we're giving them. It's bravery. I was gonna say strength. 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:57.760 That's kind of same thing as bravery, I think, right. Compassion, Yeah, empathy, compassion, 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:06.240 how about you cat, Oh that's a good one. Um, 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:14.000 he said, happiness. I don't say joy. Um oh, happiness, health, salvation, 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:19.480 and one more. Um. I think if you weren't here 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:26.399 and you needed them to be okay without you, health, happiness. 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:31.480 Can I say one that she already said, yeah, I 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.760 think it's true for you. I mean you said yeah. 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.440 I mean I think for me it would definitely be. Um, 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:40.240 would be compassion for others for sure, right, like giving 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:44.920 up being giving something like that. Okay, cool. So this 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.399 is the trick that we just got at. This is 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:51.359 who you both are. These four things are the gift 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.600 that you are here to give in everything you do 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.520 as a mama, as a friend, as a sister, as 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:02.800 these great leaders that you are on this podcast, right, 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:06.080 this is your give off that And I know you 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.080 well enough Jiana, that happiness is what you fight for. 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:10.919 You want that for the kids. That was one of 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:12.920 the things that was so hard and divorce is thinking 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.280 am I going to rob them? Of this and love 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:18.360 that the family would be separate. You know that it's 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:22.439 so these these are you your highest values. That's what 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.560 we just got out is your core values. That you 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:29.160 are one of the bravest women I know, and that 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.840 you want for everyone to experience this compassion and empathy 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:37.080 for each other. You're a big lover, so this should 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:39.520 be what you say is who I am here to 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:42.800 be is these four things. I'm here to live my 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:47.239 core values full on this year and think about this 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.439 is the number one reason why people leave their jobs, 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:53.600 that they don't have people around them who respect or 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:56.480 share their values. It's not surprising that you two have 0:18:56.600 --> 0:19:00.000 shared values. You both want happiness at the top and compassion. 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:06.240 That's why you're a great pair. Mm hm alright, So 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:09.040 you would design your days so that you could live 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:11.720 these values. I think that was one of the reasons 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.520 that people really reevaluated their lives these last couple of years, 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.720 because being at home and really taking a look at 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:21.359 what you stand for and who you want to be, 0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:24.960 and maybe not having the freedom to live these things. 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:29.960 I think has us all really doubling down to live 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:35.359 these more better this year than we have been, and 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:37.760 to be able to be free to give them to others. 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:40.399 I mean, think about if you didn't have a life 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:44.000 where you were able to experience and teach the kids bravery. 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:47.440 You know, that's a beautiful thing for you to think 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:49.360 about the last two years and what you went through 0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:56.040 last year. Really you got to model bravery. So was 0:19:56.080 --> 0:20:00.280 it a horrible year? Was it a bad thing? It 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:03.840 was hard, you know, but this is actually what's making 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:07.680 you you and having your kids learn in your presence. 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:13.080 So that's that's the who who you need to be, 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.199 who you're here to be. I think that that if 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:19.200 everybody just went through that exercise with us, you take 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.199 a look at your life and you say, am I 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.320 really living these values day to day? I think everybody 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.440 took a big hit on the happiness and joy front, 0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:30.760 right we all want that. We all want happiness and 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:34.840 love and so what needs to change in our lives 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:37.040 this year so that we can have more of that? Mm? 0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:40.640 I like you flipping it too, because it's like, oh, 0:20:40.760 --> 0:20:43.359 it's saying one was the worst year ever. It's like, well, 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:45.359 what was the positive? Like I was able to be 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:48.439 braver and you know, you were able to cap for you, 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:50.639 like you wouldn't started therapy, like you were able to 0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:53.240 grow and be you know. So I think there's things 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:56.240 you can look at from like that seemed negative, but 0:20:56.240 --> 0:20:58.960 it's like, okay, spin it, like what's the what's the positive? 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:00.720 Where's the growth? And like what you went through and 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.119 always see I see the positive anything, you know, if 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:06.200 you write would and Adele, you know you saw that 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:10.399 Adele interview when she talked about her divorce and that 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:13.880 it was that, you know, because she did that so 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:17.080 that she could be loved at the highest count. She's 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:19.800 fighting for love and that's your second value right there. 0:21:20.320 --> 0:21:23.560 It's mine too, And I think to just have come 0:21:23.600 --> 0:21:26.840 through this to say no, I want more love and 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:30.720 I will have it. You know, it's important to look 0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:33.160 at the full spectrum of why all of this is happening, 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:37.320 I think, and then after that to think about the 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:40.320 how an exercise for how I want this year to go? 0:21:40.480 --> 0:21:43.320 What is my the quality of my experience? I think 0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:47.400 like our younger generation, my kids are nineteen and seventeen, 0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:49.560 you know, they look at what we've done as an 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.200 older generation and they're like, I would never live my 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:56.120 life like this, Like the way you guys work or 0:21:56.560 --> 0:21:58.280 the things that you've put up with, you know, or 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:00.879 the way the world is. They have such high hopes 0:22:00.920 --> 0:22:04.520 to change things, and so they value the how I think, 0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:09.240 more than some generations before us, the quality of our lives. 0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:13.359 And so I would say, decide on like four to 0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:17.520 six core desired feelings. How do I want to feel 0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:20.320 this year? You know, maybe a lot of people showed 0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:23.560 up to last year thinking I'm going to feel these feelings, 0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:26.080 or or maybe they didn't even consider that and then 0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:29.879 they just got swept away by all the fear, you know, 0:22:30.320 --> 0:22:32.480 and I think the media wants us to be afraid. 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:35.280 But if we say no, I'm actually here to feel 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:41.760 ecstasy this year, you know, then it would define how 0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:45.040 you what your choices are, how you make your plans, 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.640 what your goals are. M hmm. It puts you back 0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:51.760 in the driver's seat, which I think, no matter what 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:55.960 craziness happens this year, if you're intentional about how you 0:22:55.960 --> 0:23:02.080 want to feel, you will have that. Yeah, intentional it 0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:03.840 is good. And I'm writing I'm writing all this time 0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:06.600 in my notes right now because I'm like I want 0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:08.800