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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast

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Speaker 1: Happy New Year, We're here, I think whatever get here. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Have you feel like you've been living in a twilight

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Speaker 1: though for the past a couple of years. Two years

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Speaker 1: someone I was trying my furnace broke and so I was, um,

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Speaker 1: I was calling and they're like, well, really backed up.

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Speaker 1: We can't see you until April. I was like, April,

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Speaker 1: your furnace so the gas, yeah, it's like not turning on.

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Speaker 1: And I was like until April. And they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're really sorry. And I was like, okay. I called

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Speaker 1: three of their places and they say April. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna meet it in April. I would like

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Speaker 1: it because they probably don't have anybody to work well either.

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Speaker 1: My point, I guess to that is like I just

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Speaker 1: feel like, I'm like, have we been backed up since?

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Speaker 1: Probably we just never caught up. Yeah, So what happens

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Speaker 1: when it gets cold? I mean I still have a

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Speaker 1: Heater's just my gas or electric? This is a trick question.

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Speaker 1: I don't think of these things. If it's gas, you're

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Speaker 1: going to force my rent? Where force my rent to husbands?

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Speaker 1: Electric heat? Yeah? My heat works I think I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go with my heat still works, Okay, I guess we'll

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Speaker 1: find out. Well that doesn't make sense. Then, well some

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Speaker 1: people have gas heat and some people have electric heat.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm, we have gas, I think, Oh, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think we have gas. See you don't even know. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not like you. I'm just asking. So it's like

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Speaker 1: your your stoves not working. No, my stove is working great,

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Speaker 1: it's my my okay, ready for champagne problems. My my,

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Speaker 1: my spa is not heating up. Your spat, your spa spa.

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Speaker 1: It makes it sound way more like problem. No, yes,

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Speaker 1: my my hot tub is not heating up, and neither

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Speaker 1: is my um my, my fireplace won't turn on. And

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Speaker 1: I've had two of my I've had two rental husbands

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Speaker 1: come over to try to figure it out. My neighbor

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Speaker 1: Jason came over and it's like, my gas isn't even

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Speaker 1: like there's no gas coming out. And because I'm like

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Speaker 1: real scared of gas, because I'm like, if I were

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Speaker 1: to light a match right now, we'd blow up. If

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Speaker 1: like that's that's what I think of gas. I get

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Speaker 1: scared of gas, you know, I get it. Um so

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Speaker 1: I just I'm like, I need a man to come

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Speaker 1: over and do this. So I call my neighbor Jason,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, Jason, it's Jana. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I can't figure out my gas, Like my fireplace isn't

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Speaker 1: turning on like you know I want. I like, I'm

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Speaker 1: a romantic with a fireplace. Well that's a bummer, but

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Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like it's a full gas problem. If

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Speaker 1: you're stove is working because you have a gas stove,

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Speaker 1: don't you night it? Yes, So it's branding there. Oh,

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Speaker 1: so there can be different lines. There's gonna I guess

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Speaker 1: there has to be if that one's not working and

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Speaker 1: then your show is working. Interesting interesting, I mean I

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Speaker 1: mean all all you know, I don't know. But anyways,

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Speaker 1: going into I just feel like what like because I

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Speaker 1: feel like no one knew it was going to be hard,

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Speaker 1: and then it was hard and the one was like

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Speaker 1: a recovery of So it's like, what's two going to be?

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Speaker 1: It's got to be good. I need we naturally has to.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we can afford for it not to be.

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Speaker 1: If I'm being just completely honest, it's got to turn up.

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Speaker 1: I mean flu like like like I have to say this,

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Speaker 1: it sucked. I'm like, I got a divorce in I

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Speaker 1: think was definitely a rough It couldn't get any more.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I can get. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: say what could be worse, but you know, death, but um,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be great. I'm feeling I feel like we

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Speaker 1: say that every time. No, we did. I think every

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Speaker 1: single one of us is like, it's gonna be our year,

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be everyone's year. We were definitely duped, but

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Speaker 1: I don't want to It's like January and then all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden February March, Yeah, exactly. And then they

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Speaker 1: said the same thing about so it's like does every year, Like,

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Speaker 1: I feel like you have to say every year, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be your year because if not, like, who's

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Speaker 1: going to go into it going it's not gonna be

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Speaker 1: this year's gonna suck. I think this year is just

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Speaker 1: going to be the same. Well that sucks. But if

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Speaker 1: I'm being but how do we change that? That's why

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to Shari about because because we

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Speaker 1: have a Shari coming on Healey, who's obviously she's a

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Speaker 1: fan favorite on the show. But I want to ask

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Speaker 1: her that because it's like you can't go into it

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Speaker 1: being like, well, it's not going to be your year,

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Speaker 1: but you also can't go into me like it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be my year and then have your expectations to be like,

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Speaker 1: this is the worst year of my life. Forgot divorced,

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Speaker 1: this happened. But covid, I think that's the problem with

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Speaker 1: people like us, because we set high expectations and we

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Speaker 1: get disappointed really easily. Well yeah, so it's like if

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Speaker 1: you just go in like it's just gonna be normal,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be just how do you set goals when

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Speaker 1: it's just I think you can set goals, but it

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Speaker 1: just is another freaking year. Oh it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: it sounds to domestic, but it it just doesn't sound exciting, No,

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Speaker 1: Like it just sounds like you're just living. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to just live. I want to live. No, right,

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Speaker 1: I understand, Do you know what I mean? Chase that Joy,

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Speaker 1: I get it, Chasing joy saying yes, okay, I get

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Speaker 1: a hashtag, Chase Joy. You think radical race Chasing Joys,

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Speaker 1: it's all fair, and I agree, But I feel like

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Speaker 1: every January is like started off like that. So again,

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Speaker 1: I guess the question is how do you carry that

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Speaker 1: through the year, not just like have this excitement at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of the year and then let it all fall. Yeah. Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm staring at a piano right now in our little studio.

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Speaker 1: It's Jolie's, but it's also the little do you know,

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Speaker 1: I also got it for me too. I also would

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Speaker 1: like to relearn piano from when I was jolling stage.

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Speaker 1: So like I was thinking of getting a teacher coming over. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they teach the kids, they teach me. We learned to

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Speaker 1: play piano because I only know one one song, this

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Speaker 1: is less song, and they have a good thing about

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Speaker 1: cheese less. So yeah, so that's the only song I

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Speaker 1: can play a piano, and I'd like to learn another one.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a great goal, right, it would have,

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Speaker 1: but but we're most likely going to be sitting here

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Speaker 1: in another year going still only know the less. So

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Speaker 1: the good thing about you, I think it's prioritizing. That's

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Speaker 1: the word goals, and you have a million goals and

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Speaker 1: not enough hours in the day. You're good at that.

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Speaker 1: It's prioritizing what the goals are. Mm hmmm. Soana was

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Speaker 1: a goal, prioritize it. That's my advice for Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: we've got shrey. I'm gonna blow my nose because you

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Speaker 1: know what did come into two my cold. So um,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break, blown the nose and we'll

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Speaker 1: get sure you on ask for all these questions. Hello,

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Speaker 1: it's so good to see you. Good to see you too,

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Speaker 1: um katn I were just talking about how like I

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Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, I feel like, you know, everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: this is going to be our year, and obviously it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: And then it's like, all right, this is gonna be

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Speaker 1: our year. And then one was like the recovery too,

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Speaker 1: and now it's twenty going to one. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like, but now I'm kind of like, is it?

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Speaker 1: Are we psyching ourselves out? Every time we say this

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Speaker 1: is gonna be your year? Because I'm like, is it though?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm like, well, last year I got divorced, and

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Speaker 1: like something bad probably is going to happen this year

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Speaker 1: or you know, like not as worse as that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know who knows, but like, but it's just one

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Speaker 1: of those things where I feel like, are we like

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Speaker 1: psyching ourselves out? Are we are this is this kind

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Speaker 1: of like I am so happy about being positive and

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Speaker 1: mean like, yeah, this is our year, but I'm almost like,

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Speaker 1: why are we setting it ourselves up to like be like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know this year sucked. Well, here's the really important

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Speaker 1: question to ask. I'm a possibilitarian, you know that, Like,

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Speaker 1: I think anything is possible, and I do say that

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Speaker 1: every year like this is going to be the year.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if all of us go about

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Speaker 1: designing the year in the way that would make it

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Speaker 1: our year, or that we end the year with the

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Speaker 1: right meaning, the right understanding of how the year went right.

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Speaker 1: So it's tricky. It's it's I'm not about doing what

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Speaker 1: a lot of people do to imagine the worst, prepare

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Speaker 1: for the worst so that you don't get disappointed, you know,

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Speaker 1: to just set your bar low and be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is probably going to be a rough year like

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Speaker 1: the last two. I'm not about that. I'm more about Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we went through some really hard times the last

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Speaker 1: couple of years. Why why is it just that it

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Speaker 1: was like all of our power and freedom was taken

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Speaker 1: from us? Was it just a ship show or is

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Speaker 1: it this global awakening? Are we about to enter into

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Speaker 1: a renaissance era, a golden age, the imagination age, right,

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Speaker 1: like people are saying, and I believe this, that we

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Speaker 1: are now in a in a world where anything truly

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Speaker 1: is possible. The great Resignation happened, right, people have really

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Speaker 1: come to reevaluate and reset how they were living. And

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Speaker 1: I think this year we've learned a lot. We've learned

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Speaker 1: a lot going through the hard times. I mean, I,

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Speaker 1: as a kid, never wanted to go through the hard times.

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Speaker 1: I thought life is supposed to be a joy ride.

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Speaker 1: And then I grew up and realized that we can

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Speaker 1: only learn and grow when things are tough, when there's pain.

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Speaker 1: So I have high hopes for this year, really high

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Speaker 1: hopes because of that. And then what you do to

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Speaker 1: set yourself up to have the year of your life

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Speaker 1: is what we should talk about. You know, that you

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Speaker 1: don't just cruise into this year like a passenger, you know,

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Speaker 1: in your life, waiting for whatever is going to come,

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Speaker 1: you know, sort of. I think a lot of people's

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Speaker 1: belief in what's possible has been shattered, you know, and

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Speaker 1: that's what needs to be restored. That just because we've

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Speaker 1: been so disconnected and had to go through such hard times.

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Speaker 1: If we don't believe that something better is on the

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Speaker 1: other side of this, then we'll continue to be in

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Speaker 1: that spin cycle. I think. Well. Also, I was like

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Speaker 1: kind of telling calth her and she's like, it's just

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Speaker 1: another year. I'm like, I don't want it to be

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Speaker 1: just another year, you know me, Like I can't. I

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Speaker 1: need to, like I and I love like bring me

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Speaker 1: the highs and lows, Like the lows have made me,

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Speaker 1: you know, high and helped this and like grow and

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Speaker 1: learn and shape. That's fine. Like I'm I'm not saying

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Speaker 1: I want the perfect, best, amazing year, and I know

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Speaker 1: that's not reality. But I also know, like I can

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Speaker 1: like last year, as hard as one was for me

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Speaker 1: with the divorce, I still learned so much about myself

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Speaker 1: and I healed and I grew and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: continue to grow and them and continue to heal. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, I like I want those things. I just

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Speaker 1: how do you stay positive and how do you not

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Speaker 1: get not saying cat not saying you're complacent, but I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying, like, how do you not just be like

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Speaker 1: it's just another year, like whatever, I'm just gonna go

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Speaker 1: every day and whatever. Well, think about this, if if

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Speaker 1: any of us got a diagnosis you know that said

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Speaker 1: we had dirty days or a year to live, if

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Speaker 1: this was it, that's something to think about. What would

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Speaker 1: you do. Would you say it's just another year if

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Speaker 1: you knew it was your last? You know, probably not.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's a good place to start to

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Speaker 1: just say what what we did learn? One of those

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Speaker 1: big lessons is life is precious, and we lost a

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Speaker 1: lot of people in the last couple of years, and

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Speaker 1: so if we if we really hold and that's an

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Speaker 1: ancient way of being right in Buddhism and in the

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Speaker 1: Contra and many cultures, this awareness of death is is

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Speaker 1: such a gift because in that then you live with

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Speaker 1: greater awareness and gratitude, like for every little moment in

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Speaker 1: life that it could be your last. And that could

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Speaker 1: sound morbid to some people, but it's actually really lovely

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Speaker 1: if you think about, you know, the gift that we're

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Speaker 1: all still here. We made it, so we're here for

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Speaker 1: a reason. There's a great you know, I love Dr

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Speaker 1: Zach Bush and he always says, if you're alive at

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Speaker 1: this moment in human history, it's for a big reason

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Speaker 1: that we all are here for this craziness, you know,

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Speaker 1: and to just side who do you want to be

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Speaker 1: this year? You know, Like you're so great at goals, Jenna.

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Speaker 1: We've talked so much about the way you just crush

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Speaker 1: it and you decide what you want. And I think

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Speaker 1: we're all very aware of setting goals and intentions at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of the year. I think I do it

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Speaker 1: differently this year. I think I would put the what

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Speaker 1: you want at the end, think about who do you

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Speaker 1: want to be this year? Who do you want to become?

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Speaker 1: You know, what were you born for to become fully

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Speaker 1: Janna in this life? Like what kind of Janna are

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Speaker 1: you going to be this year? And put the who first,

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Speaker 1: and then the how? How do I want to experience

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Speaker 1: this year? How do I want to feel? How am

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Speaker 1: I going to let myself be helped and supported? If

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Speaker 1: we learned anything in these last two years, we're not

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Speaker 1: supposed to do this alone. You know, we're all disconnected

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Speaker 1: and we need to get reconnected and be in circles

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Speaker 1: and supported by friends and all the great you know helpers.

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Speaker 1: There's coaches, therapists, but there's energy alers, and there's breath work,

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Speaker 1: and there's like psychics and astrologers. I mean, there's so

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Speaker 1: many people that you could turn to to be supported,

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Speaker 1: and I don't think people get supported. Well, you know,

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Speaker 1: we're in this individualistic culture that says we have to

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Speaker 1: do everything on our own, and that's too rough. We're

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Speaker 1: not going to do that anymore. And then after the

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Speaker 1: who and the how, then I'd start to look at

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Speaker 1: what and place your order with the universe, you know,

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Speaker 1: and set the goals and things. But the who and

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Speaker 1: the how would really define your experience of this year,

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Speaker 1: no matter what happens. Right at the end of the

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Speaker 1: year next year, you could say, did I become a

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Speaker 1: greater version of myself? And how has I helped and supported?

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Speaker 1: Like maybe you call in all these new friends and

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Speaker 1: community and beautiful things and you experienced feelings you've never experienced.

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Speaker 1: Then the what takes care of itself. Hmm. I love that.

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Speaker 1: It's great. Yeah, yeah, we could do a little exercise

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Speaker 1: you want on this, but I thinks would be I love,

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Speaker 1: I love taking you through little experiences and then the

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Speaker 1: people can do this along with us, and I think

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Speaker 1: it will help us start on the who, you know,

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Speaker 1: because it's a big question. It's like who do I

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Speaker 1: want to be. That's like pretty big, but we can

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Speaker 1: make it really tangible with this. So this is going

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Speaker 1: to feel like left field, but it's not so sting me.

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Speaker 1: You'll just imagine if I gave you the superpower to

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Speaker 1: grant the people that you love the most a lifetime

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Speaker 1: of one thing, Like think about your baby's Jenna. If

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Speaker 1: you could grant them a lifetime of one thing, what

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Speaker 1: would you give them to know that they'd have the

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Speaker 1: sweetest life. I would do happiness, right, okay, and no hesitation,

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Speaker 1: you know that that's so important. And then let's say

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Speaker 1: you could do one more thing. You could do happiness

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Speaker 1: and something else to become this amazing secret sauce for

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Speaker 1: the great life love, right, okay, because we can, let's health. Okay,

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Speaker 1: happiness is the first one in my head, but then

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Speaker 1: health okay, all right, and then let's add one more

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Speaker 1: because we can, so they get this blend of happiness, health, happiness, love.

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Speaker 1: What else? I would say? Bravery? But oh so good?

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Speaker 1: What would you say? Cat for me to be salvation?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm a believer, so I'd want them to be Yeah, saved,

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Speaker 1: beautiful okay, And let's do one more just to top

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Speaker 1: it off, so we have a little set of four

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Speaker 1: things we're giving them. It's bravery. I was gonna say strength.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of same thing as bravery, I think, right. Compassion, Yeah, empathy, compassion,

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Speaker 1: how about you cat, Oh that's a good one. Um,

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Speaker 1: he said, happiness. I don't say joy. Um oh, happiness, health, salvation,

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Speaker 1: and one more. Um. I think if you weren't here

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Speaker 1: and you needed them to be okay without you, health, happiness.

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Speaker 1: Can I say one that she already said, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think it's true for you. I mean you said yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think for me it would definitely be. Um,

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Speaker 1: would be compassion for others for sure, right, like giving

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Speaker 1: up being giving something like that. Okay, cool. So this

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Speaker 1: is the trick that we just got at. This is

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Speaker 1: who you both are. These four things are the gift

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Speaker 1: that you are here to give in everything you do

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Speaker 1: as a mama, as a friend, as a sister, as

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Speaker 1: these great leaders that you are on this podcast, right,

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Speaker 1: this is your give off that And I know you

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Speaker 1: well enough Jiana, that happiness is what you fight for.

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Speaker 1: You want that for the kids. That was one of

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Speaker 1: the things that was so hard and divorce is thinking

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Speaker 1: am I going to rob them? Of this and love

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Speaker 1: that the family would be separate. You know that it's

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Speaker 1: so these these are you your highest values. That's what

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Speaker 1: we just got out is your core values. That you

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Speaker 1: are one of the bravest women I know, and that

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Speaker 1: you want for everyone to experience this compassion and empathy

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Speaker 1: for each other. You're a big lover, so this should

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Speaker 1: be what you say is who I am here to

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Speaker 1: be is these four things. I'm here to live my

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Speaker 1: core values full on this year and think about this

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Speaker 1: is the number one reason why people leave their jobs,

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Speaker 1: that they don't have people around them who respect or

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Speaker 1: share their values. It's not surprising that you two have

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Speaker 1: shared values. You both want happiness at the top and compassion.

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Speaker 1: That's why you're a great pair. Mm hm alright, So

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Speaker 1: you would design your days so that you could live

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Speaker 1: these values. I think that was one of the reasons

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Speaker 1: that people really reevaluated their lives these last couple of years,

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Speaker 1: because being at home and really taking a look at

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Speaker 1: what you stand for and who you want to be,

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Speaker 1: and maybe not having the freedom to live these things.

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Speaker 1: I think has us all really doubling down to live

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Speaker 1: these more better this year than we have been, and

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Speaker 1: to be able to be free to give them to others.

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Speaker 1: I mean, think about if you didn't have a life

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Speaker 1: where you were able to experience and teach the kids bravery.

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Speaker 1: You know, that's a beautiful thing for you to think

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Speaker 1: about the last two years and what you went through

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Speaker 1: last year. Really you got to model bravery. So was

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Speaker 1: it a horrible year? Was it a bad thing? It

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Speaker 1: was hard, you know, but this is actually what's making

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Speaker 1: you you and having your kids learn in your presence.

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Speaker 1: So that's that's the who who you need to be,

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Speaker 1: who you're here to be. I think that that if

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Speaker 1: everybody just went through that exercise with us, you take

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Speaker 1: a look at your life and you say, am I

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Speaker 1: really living these values day to day? I think everybody

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Speaker 1: took a big hit on the happiness and joy front,

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Speaker 1: right we all want that. We all want happiness and

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Speaker 1: love and so what needs to change in our lives

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Speaker 1: this year so that we can have more of that? Mm?

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Speaker 1: I like you flipping it too, because it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's saying one was the worst year ever. It's like, well,

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Speaker 1: what was the positive? Like I was able to be

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Speaker 1: braver and you know, you were able to cap for you,

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Speaker 1: like you wouldn't started therapy, like you were able to

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Speaker 1: grow and be you know. So I think there's things

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Speaker 1: you can look at from like that seemed negative, but

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Speaker 1: it's like, okay, spin it, like what's the what's the positive?

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Speaker 1: Where's the growth? And like what you went through and

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Speaker 1: always see I see the positive anything, you know, if

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Speaker 1: you write would and Adele, you know you saw that

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Speaker 1: Adele interview when she talked about her divorce and that

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Speaker 1: it was that, you know, because she did that so

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Speaker 1: that she could be loved at the highest count. She's

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Speaker 1: fighting for love and that's your second value right there.

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Speaker 1: It's mine too, And I think to just have come

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Speaker 1: through this to say no, I want more love and

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Speaker 1: I will have it. You know, it's important to look

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Speaker 1: at the full spectrum of why all of this is happening,

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Speaker 1: I think, and then after that to think about the

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Speaker 1: how an exercise for how I want this year to go?

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Speaker 1: What is my the quality of my experience? I think

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Speaker 1: like our younger generation, my kids are nineteen and seventeen,

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Speaker 1: you know, they look at what we've done as an

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Speaker 1: older generation and they're like, I would never live my

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Speaker 1: life like this, Like the way you guys work or

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Speaker 1: the things that you've put up with, you know, or

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Speaker 1: the way the world is. They have such high hopes

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Speaker 1: to change things, and so they value the how I think,

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Speaker 1: more than some generations before us, the quality of our lives.

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Speaker 1: And so I would say, decide on like four to

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Speaker 1: six core desired feelings. How do I want to feel

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Speaker 1: this year? You know, maybe a lot of people showed

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Speaker 1: up to last year thinking I'm going to feel these feelings,

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Speaker 1: or or maybe they didn't even consider that and then

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Speaker 1: they just got swept away by all the fear, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I think the media wants us to be afraid.

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Speaker 1: But if we say no, I'm actually here to feel

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Speaker 1: ecstasy this year, you know, then it would define how

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Speaker 1: you what your choices are, how you make your plans,

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Speaker 1: what your goals are. M hmm. It puts you back

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Speaker 1: in the driver's seat, which I think, no matter what

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Speaker 1: craziness happens this year, if you're intentional about how you

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Speaker 1: want to feel, you will have that. Yeah, intentional it

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Speaker 1: is good. And I'm writing I'm writing all this time

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Speaker 1: in my notes right now because I'm like I want

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Speaker 1: to look at that, like I think, yeah, every morning

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Speaker 1: being like all right, who did I say I wanted

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Speaker 1: to how did I want to feel? You know? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And who am I becoming? I mean, I just think

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Speaker 1: that gives us such freedom to go through all the

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Speaker 1: highs and lows, like you said, to be brave. Like

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Speaker 1: my metaphor for life is surfing. You know, nobody goes

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Speaker 1: out into the water to have a bad time, so

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Speaker 1: you think I'm here to have a good time. I

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Speaker 1: believe that we all took a body in this life

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Speaker 1: to have a great ride. And if the waves get

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Speaker 1: really big, that's the whole point. You want to ride it.

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Speaker 1: We just need to learn how to ride well. And

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Speaker 1: hopefully you're out there in the water with your friends,

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Speaker 1: you know. So it's consider that too. Is is what's

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Speaker 1: the flavor of this this year gonna be? Is it

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Speaker 1: going to be like art? Are you making your life?

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Speaker 1: Like art is your metaphor for life? A dance you're

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Speaker 1: do in the chatch house some days? You know, like

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Speaker 1: if you have that kind of frame for it, then

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Speaker 1: I think there's freedom about how it shows up. Yeah, thinking, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's it's it's good. It's just it's the unknown.

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Speaker 1: But it's also there's something so beautiful and the unknown,

424
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: Like I was that's that's such a church. When I

425
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: was telling you should watch UM with one of the

426
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: pastors she was she was basically saying like, if we

427
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: were to follow ways, it's She's like, it's nice. She's like,

428
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: you can see where a police car is and you

429
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 1: can see where an accident's heading. She's like, if that's

430
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 1: what our life was like, She's like, how boring would

431
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: that be? You know, she's basically saying like God ways,

432
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: God's ways are better than our ways in a sense

433
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 1: where she's like it's hard and it's you know, it's um,

434
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 1: it's it's unknown, but like, how how boring would it

435
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: be if we're like, Okay, this is this, this is that,

436
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: this is how our years gonna look and you're gonna

437
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: have heartbreak here and this is this is going to

438
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 1: be here and then there's gonna be something. You're gonna

439
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: lose your job here. It's like and it's like, that's

440
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: what a boring life to live? You know, any way

441
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 1: you would live up to that, you're living like you know,

442
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 1: you only have thirty days. You're living like, oh, I'm

443
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: gonna lose my job in six months. Yeah that's a

444
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: good point. Yeah, So I just like that really like

445
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: stuck out to me too, where it's like, okay, is

446
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 1: if you have this um you know, you look at

447
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: your thing in the morning and say, sorry, who do

448
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 1: I want to be? How do I want to live today?

449
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: Like that's then you know you're it's not gonna be perfect,

450
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: but at least you've set some some you know, stuff

451
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 1: out there. Whatever. Yeah, well you're saying like if you

452
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,640
Speaker 1: both are about compassion and so on any given day,

453
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 1: you say, all right, I want to really know myself

454
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: as compassion. I want to be the source of compassion

455
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: for all beings. Today. You could get cut off on

456
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: the road, you know, you could have something bad news,

457
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: all kinds of things, but you've already set the flavor

458
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: of the day to be I am a vessel for compassion,

459
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: you know, then then you can handle anything. That's what

460
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: would compassion do? You know? And that's how you respond

461
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: to everything, and you learn and grow that day and

462
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 1: you are such a blessing for others. What you talked about,

463
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: Jenna and the and the uncertainty of life is we

464
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 1: have equal needs for certainty and uncertainty. We don't want

465
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: to read the last page of the book or fast

466
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: forward the movie to know how it ends. First we

467
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: need surprise and excitement and unknown. It keeps us engaged,

468
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: it keeps relationships interesting. It's so it's so true. But

469
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: I'm also the person that went to the last episode

470
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: of if WT together like the second I did. Absolutely

471
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: I did. And then I was like, Okay, good they

472
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: end up together, because I was like, I can't handle Like,

473
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: but what if they didn't? Would you have just not

474
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 1: gone through it? No? I was still want to watch it,

475
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 1: but I've been upset, Like it's honestly, you would have

476
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: been upset the whole time. I would have. Yeah, this

477
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 1: is so interesting because see, that's how you can only

478
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 1: handle uncertainty if you have enough certainty. Right, people who

479
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 1: do the best in life, who can handle what is

480
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: life is unknown, life has changed, that's the nature of it.

481
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 1: So the people who have enough certainty in life will

482
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 1: handle all that uncertainty really well. So you both have faith, right,

483
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: That's where you get a lot of your certainty is

484
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: knowing that you are being held by God or by

485
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 1: your beliefs. Right. Everyone needs to go into this year

486
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,959
Speaker 1: figuring out where is my certainty coming from? So I

487
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 1: can route down in that, you know, in the surfing metaphor,

488
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: it's like I know that I've got enough skill or

489
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 1: enough fearlessness bravery to handle the unknown of the ocean.

490
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 1: You know. So you did that and then bridgertain when

491
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: you got your certainty in a different way. But I

492
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 1: think in two terms, and it's totally darling. It's great

493
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: however you want to get it. I think it's really

494
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: important to spend a lot of time visualizing how you

495
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 1: want this year to go. And I mean, like playing

496
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: the movie full technicolor. This is what I know I'm

497
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: going to experience, like place your order with the universe

498
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 1: by seeing the movie, seeing it daily, even like just

499
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: before you know you do a podcast, seeing how it's

500
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 1: going to go. It's like so much science behind this,

501
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: Like yeah, but then what happens when it doesn't work?

502
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,919
Speaker 1: And let's say let's say I'm I'm I'm praying for

503
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 1: this like relationship and the I'm like, oh, we broke up,

504
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: Like what then? What? Because I'm like, well, I just

505
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: did what you said for the last six months and

506
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: now I'm heartbroken. I know. Well, there's there's a co

507
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,959
Speaker 1: creation I all the time, right, But here's here's how

508
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: it goes for me is I see it, see it,

509
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: see it, see it, see it. I placed the order

510
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: with the universe, right, this is how I wanted to go.

511
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: That means I'm stoking the field, like I'm putting my

512
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: energy and my frequency which is equally powerful out there

513
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 1: for what I want happen. And then there's this, ever

514
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: so subtle at the end of it all surrender to

515
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: But if you've got something better for me, may it

516
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: be so? Right? Like let me be surprised. I just

517
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: was in a relationship that I thought was my person.

518
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: I was like, this is it? I have found him

519
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: not so much. I had to let it go. And

520
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,479
Speaker 1: who still knows what's going to happen next, you know,

521
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: but I know that my clarity around the kind of

522
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: way I want to help you. M No, yes, I'm sorry.

523
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: I know it's okay though, I'm like, all right, I

524
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: guess there's it's either him later or somebody who can

525
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: love the way I want to love. I'm listening to

526
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: that adult song Think so I'm like, but I know

527
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 1: how I want to experience relationship in this life and

528
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm not going to compromise, you know, so seeing it

529
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: as better not Yeah, like didn't happen because it's going

530
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: to be better, which is a good point. Yeah, which

531
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: I that's my belief is so strong that I'm being

532
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: so guided and held. And I know, you know, we've

533
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: talked about desires, like if you have a desire in

534
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: life that's so strong, you know, for the kind of

535
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: life that you want to have or the kind of

536
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: love you want to have, I think that's in us

537
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: because that's what our soul is here to experience, you know.

538
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: So if that got pulled out of my life, that

539
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: relationship right now, I believe it's because he's either going

540
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: to go and get more prepared for what we're supposed

541
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: to have together, or there's somebody else who's in the

542
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: wings waiting to experience that with me, because the desire

543
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: is just too strong, you know. And I think the

544
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: timelines are speeding up. I don't know if you guys

545
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 1: are experiencing this, but when you want something, it feels

546
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: like things are coming much faster. Lessons are blowing through

547
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 1: much more quickly, you know. So I'm open just staying

548
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: open a friend. My heart hurts for you. I mean,

549
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: I know, you know, it's the positive outlook but I

550
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: still like, I love you, and you know, we've been

551
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 1: on a journey together, so I just in my heart

552
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: empathize I'm sorry, I love you. Mm hmm. I'm kind

553
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 1: of excited though we're like, okay, well is somebody cute

554
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 1: or more amazing? Okay? How long was it? Oh, it's

555
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: a long story. It was like a two year kind

556
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: of an amazing thing, and then it was like six months,

557
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: you know, really going for it at this moment um

558
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: this year, which felt right on, you know, but I

559
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: think there were huge gifts that we gave each other,

560
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 1: so it's not like I'm coming away without like armfuls

561
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 1: good things. Well, what dating apple are we going to

562
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: put you on? I know? God, I'm actually I'm like,

563
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: let's be set up this time, Like I want to

564
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: put all my friends and family, like they're already two

565
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: really good friends who are like, wait a minute, I

566
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: have somebody for you, and I feel like that's the

567
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: ultimate dating app. And that's true, you know, when your

568
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: people really know you so much better than an algorithms

569
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 1: one percent true. So for you then like for the people,

570
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: for all of us, not everyone, but that you like,

571
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 1: how do you go in? Because I don't know. Maybe

572
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: this is just because this isn't how my mom was,

573
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: but she's like, I'm gonna be alone forever. And I

574
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: have those fears, you know, where it's like I'm going

575
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 1: to be alone forever, and it's like can you turn

576
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 1: it and go, Okay, well what if I what if

577
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: I am? And one thousand percent this is very important

578
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: because I've also had this feeling because you know, I

579
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: was divorced stages ago, and I've been where you are

580
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, dear, and so we'll have

581
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: these thoughts that were like the worst fear of thoughts.

582
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 1: I'm in my forties, I'm like whatever, I'm in how

583
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I'm done. Yeah, no, I fifty one,

584
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: for God's sakes, I'm like hello. So you have to

585
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: look at the fear the thought comes up. You look

586
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: at square in the face like you could almost take

587
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: it by the shoulders, and you go, Okay, what if

588
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: I am alone for the rest of my life? What

589
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: will I do? How will it be? Who will I become?

590
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: You ask these same questions, who am I going to be?

591
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: And how will I do it? What's the flavor of

592
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: the experience going to be? Like and you know what

593
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: my answer is, if that's my plan, B I'm very

594
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: clear there's this person coming. But if for some reason

595
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: you get hit by a truck where I know this

596
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: aunt of mine, this great aunt who came into it

597
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: with my husband's aunt, call her Aunt Betty. She was

598
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: like eighty something when I met her, and the hottest

599
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: little cookie on the golf course, and she had all

600
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: the lovers, all the guys who were after her until

601
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 1: her very last day. And I would say, maybe I'm

602
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: so much woman that I have to have all the lovers,

603
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: and that that would be the way that I would

604
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: know love would be through all the lovers, and that

605
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 1: I would just have this incredible, amazing, different kind of

606
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: inexperience of love, maybe a more expanded view of not

607
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: just one person but the many and I would have

608
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: I can already see it, like all the travel and

609
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: all the gypsying and all the freedom. Right. So that's

610
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: my worst case scenario. Now I means scenario sounds kind

611
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: of fine, thank you, thank you exactly. I remember Angelina

612
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: Jolie said that before Brad Pitt. She was like, I'm

613
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: just going to be fine in my hotel rooms with

614
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 1: my lovers just have much children. I don't need a man.

615
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: I mean it's true, like once you have, and that's

616
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,879
Speaker 1: kind of like what I've noticed, like you dating now

617
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: that I have my kids, and like I ain't settling

618
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 1: for sure, you know, there's no there's no point like

619
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: because I you know, I've got my friends and sure,

620
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 1: do I want to live the rest of my life alone? No?

621
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 1: Do I think that's going to happen. No, But like

622
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 1: it's like because I won't because I'll have my kids

623
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 1: and we'll have our we'll have our bed of lovers,

624
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 1: we will have all the things, all the things, and

625
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, it's like it's like I don't

626
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 1: need anything. I've got two beautiful children. But I don't

627
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 1: know sometimes did you this is probably like a really

628
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,879
Speaker 1: bad way of thinking, But did you ever think back

629
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: and go like, oh, man, maybe I should just stayed

630
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: with my ex because it's like Lisa, I have somebody,

631
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: because there's nobody perfect out there. There's nobody perfect. However, No,

632
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: I mean I haven't either, But I'm just saying like

633
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: there are times and when I'm just like, well, I mean,

634
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: like I guess I could have turned a blind eye

635
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 1: but like, how is that living? You know it's not no,

636
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: no way, no, because you came in this life with

637
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: this really high bar for all the things. You know,

638
00:35:56,160 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: you're a goal set realistic. I'm realistic. You you are

639
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: actually listening. You've got embedded patriarchy, and you like that's

640
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 1: the culture saying listen, lady, get in line, be like

641
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: everyone else. Calm down. That's not who you're here to

642
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,399
Speaker 1: be in this life. Do not. I will not let

643
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: you lower that bar. You're here to be a leader,

644
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: and you're here to have mad experiences like I'm here

645
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: to have an epic love affair and I have to

646
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: do it maybe with many people. I love many, But no,

647
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: I'm not lowering the bar. And I you know, you

648
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 1: know the story. My X and I did what we

649
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 1: needed to do in ten years now. We didn't need

650
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: a lifetime. There's no going back. He's just a good

651
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,839
Speaker 1: friend now and it's lovely. But I grew too much,

652
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 1: too fat, like it just yeah, you gotta be with

653
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: people who are continuing at your pace. Yeah, any more

654
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 1: words of advice anymore, just just just shoot me up

655
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,320
Speaker 1: down my hair. I'm just like, just give me everything.

656
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: I just shouldn't you do a little exercise. I love you.

657
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: Let's do another and I think this will be like

658
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,240
Speaker 1: a great way to just part and we'll take people

659
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: through this and then and it's a tool that I

660
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: want you to use all the time, because when we

661
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: talk about who do you want to be? Sometimes it's

662
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,399
Speaker 1: really hard if you're triggered, or you're hurt, or you're

663
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: down and you can't like pull yourself back up. This

664
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 1: is what I do to bring it back online. And

665
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: it's pretty fast, Okay, So you can close your eyes

666
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: if you want. Sometimes it's easier that way. And what

667
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna do is bring your attention to your feet

668
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: and you're gonna start there and you're gonna connect to

669
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 1: the earth. I forget all the time that there's this

670
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:52,479
Speaker 1: giant globe, this nature that's holding us. And just throw

671
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 1: roots down from the base of your feet down into

672
00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 1: the earth, like you reconnected, re estab wishing that that

673
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 1: support is there for you. And then imagine you can

674
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: pull earth into your feet. It's always green to me,

675
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 1: like you'll see a color, you'll feel a feeling and

676
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: maybe tingle, and you pull in that earth energy and

677
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 1: then you can just ask like Earth, what do you

678
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: want me to know today? What are you here to

679
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: give me today? And then keeping that bring fire from

680
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: your ankles all the way up to like just below

681
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 1: the belly button, fill your legs and your pelvis with fire.

682
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: It just turns you back on in every way and

683
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: reminds you of your power. The warmth, the heat, the

684
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 1: energy that's here to create in this life. That is you.

685
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 1: And you ask fire, what are you here to give me?

686
00:38:54,960 --> 00:39:02,240
Speaker 1: What do you have to teach me today? And then

687
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 1: keeping that earth and that fire, like you can already

688
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: feel yourself coming back online from the belly button up

689
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 1: to the base of the throat, become the ocean. So

690
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: you're on the super grounded place with the feet fired

691
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: up alive, and then you're floating. You're just the expansiveness

692
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: of the ocean, the depth, the wisdom, the vastness on

693
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 1: top of fire. This is who you are. And you

694
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: can let the ocean open your heart and remind you

695
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: of who you are. You can ask the ocean, what

696
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 1: are you here to give me today? And then on

697
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: top of earth and fire and all of this vastness

698
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: the water, then from your throat up to the top

699
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: of your head, open up your head, and you fill

700
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,320
Speaker 1: with air, fresh air, like you can come down into

701
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:06,800
Speaker 1: your mind and just clear out like a gentle breeze,

702
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: all the thoughts, all the doubts, all the fears, fresh reset,

703
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: open up your throat, open up your voice, your truth,

704
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 1: and then you just ask air, what are you here

705
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: to give me today? And then know that all four

706
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: of these things, this is the entire universe, This is

707
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 1: who you are. You have all of these elements at

708
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: your service every moment. That's it. Yes, and now here

709
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: you are. Anything is possible, Anything is possible your year, everybody, Okay,

710
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: right here and uh you see Sharie with like ten dudes.

711
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: Just give her a little way, girl, friend, get it.

712
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you. We'll see in a

713
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: few months. You know, I'll have something mental breakdown. In

714
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 1: a few months. I'll need you, and it'll be all

715
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: in the service of your becoming, all according to plan. Okay,

716
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: all right, thanks girl, alright talk bye. Hey guys and

717
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: Ashley from the almost famous podcast, It's that time of

718
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: year where drama fills the air. The Bachelor was back

719
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 1: with an all new season, premiering January three. There's a

720
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 1: new host, Jesse Palmer and a brand new bachelor, Clayton.

721
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: Clayton is a Midwest boy that has that great smile,

722
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 1: nice teeth, and he's really tall as let's call it

723
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 1: what it is, he's a beefcake. Okay, Well, Clayton seems

724
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: to be a good guy though, and he can't wait

725
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: to find love, get married, and have kids. And he

726
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: believes more than anything that his future wife is on

727
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: this show. It sounds like a fairy tale but also

728
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 1: a bit of an emotional world coaster because Clayton tells

729
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 1: three different women he's falling in love with him. Technically,

730
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: he told one, I couldn't be more sure that I'm

731
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 1: falling in love with him, and another one I'm falling

732
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: in love with you, and the third one, I am

733
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: in love with you. You don't miss a thing. It's

734
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 1: some years of over analyzing everything that guys say, but

735
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: his heart is in the right place. But other parts

736
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 1: of him as we find out what he admits that

737
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 1: two different women that he was intimate with both of them. Yeah,

738
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: I don't think it's gonna go over well, we'll be

739
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: breaking down it all on the Almost Famous podcast. Ben

740
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,280
Speaker 1: is married now Well, Ashley is a mom will change

741
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: our opinions of what we think is acceptable. Single behavior

742
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 1: good question. Listen to Almost Famous on the I Heart

743
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: Radio app, on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

744
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 1: I am obsessed with Oh I just love her so much.

745
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: All the lovers, it's so good. My heart like broke.

746
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: But again it's um, it's kind of things. It's wasn't

747
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 1: the one and that's okay, better out there? Do you?

748
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 1: By the way, do I feeling therapy, Like, God, don't ask,

749
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: don't ask me what what I just thought I thought about?

750
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: Because it's like I don't ask me because I'm like,

751
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 1: I did dream somewhere else and then like I lose it.

752
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,840
Speaker 1: But that was so like good though, I'm gonna actually

753
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: the back to that and do that because I need

754
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: to start practicing because I feel so much better when

755
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,720
Speaker 1: I do meditate. I really do. My mind definitely wanders

756
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh crap, she's gonna ask yeah, and

757
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, what was the question? What was that sposed

758
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 1: to feel fire? I don't know. I feel I feel

759
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: stability that just like at least in therapy, it's kind

760
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: of like it can be nothing. I can't because they

761
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: got nothing I know, but no, I love I love

762
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: doing like I have the I do headspace on there

763
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 1: and there's like a three minute guided Once times I

764
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,320
Speaker 1: do that, there's a balloon one usually have some anxiety,

765
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: but it's good. I need to do it more like

766
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: it's like the last time I was like, oh, I

767
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: haven't seen us in October. Thanks for calling me. I

768
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: need your energy though. I want to be like that positive,

769
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 1: that energetic about you know, and not just complacent. I'm not.

770
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 1: I wasn't calling because no, but I can be for

771
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 1: sure it's made great here. I didn't know that was.

772
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: I do believe that though, no, no, I really do

773
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:04,919
Speaker 1: think it will be a great year. Yeah, what are

774
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: you looking forward? I know we talked about this, but like,

775
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: how are you not going to be complacent? So I

776
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: think what I took the most from today is the

777
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: whole compassion thing. I want to just be more compassionate,

778
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: do things for others, not talk about other people, just

779
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 1: like who I want to be. I'm going to take that.

780
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: And I loved that that she said, start with who

781
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,959
Speaker 1: you want to be, because I think I think about

782
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 1: that a lot when I'm being somebody I don't want

783
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: to be UM, so I'm gonna start there, and that's

784
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 1: how I'm going to make it a good year, not

785
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 1: based on what happens in that year, but who I

786
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 1: become and who I am. That was really encouraging to

787
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 1: me when she said that this is one of the

788
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,479
Speaker 1: podcasts I'm definitely gonna listen back to. Yeah for sure,

789
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 1: because I want to go through all that again. Yes,

790
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: she's great, God, I love her. I'm just less everyone.

791
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 1: Let's just take that energy and go freaking crush. Yet,

792
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 1: I've got some updates on some things that we can

793
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: update the next next show. Okay, you know, because it's

794
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: like going into the New Year's like, like you said, uh,

795
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: with compassion yet not um not letting people in that

796
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: kind of way you down. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm there

797
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 1: for sure. Um all right, we'll see guys next week.

798
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: By