1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,200 Speaker 1: As some of you have seen, I have partnered with 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 1: the California Cryobank. In teaming up with them, my hope 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: is to share and normalize the different ways of bringing 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: children into the world. My conversation with Sidney Sharon, who 5 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: is an expert in this space from the California Cryobank, 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,280 Speaker 1: will do just that. I am proud of my partnership 7 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: with California Cryobank, and I hope you enjoy. Hello, my loves, 8 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: Welcome to the bonus episode of the Give Them Lalla Podcast. 9 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: I am so excited today because you guys know that 10 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: the only thing on my mind right now is babies 11 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,559 Speaker 1: and sperm. Bab babies and sperm and women. They go 12 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: hand and hand all three of those things when you 13 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: combine them. I have Sidney, who is representing the California 14 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,599 Speaker 1: Cryobank and the California Cryobank. If you guys have been 15 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: watching vander Pump Rules, they are who made all of 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: my baby making come true and really the reason why 17 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 1: I'm sitting here just over twenty weeks pregnant, sorry whoa 18 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: with my second daughter. So I'm so happy to have 19 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,400 Speaker 1: you here. Sidney. I'm gonna let you really drive this 20 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: bus because I may be sobbing and I'm just really 21 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: excited to have you here. So thank you for making 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: time for us. 23 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 2: Of course we're so excited for you. 24 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 3: Everybody at California Cryobank is team Laala and this pod 25 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 3: growing and I'm like, I've chills hearing you speak. So yeah, 26 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 3: I'm here representing California Cryobank. A little bit about me. 27 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 3: I've been here for with the with the company for 28 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 3: three years, but I'm also a California Cryobank mama. I 29 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 3: have three of my own beautiful donor conceived babies. I've done, 30 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 3: I've done what you've done. I've done the IUI, I 31 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: know what that's like. I did IVF on my last 32 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 3: so I know I know personally that walk and choosing 33 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 3: a donor and choosing the bank and the fertility clinic, 34 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 3: and it's a lot. 35 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: It is a lot, and very different than the first, 36 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: you know, conception of my daughter that was very like 37 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: cookie cutter and just like let's go back to the basic. Ye. 38 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: This experience was very different. I know most people wouldn't 39 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: think of Lala and go she seems like a woman 40 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: of God. But I prayed about this a lot and 41 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: I started this conversation about getting a donor when Ocean 42 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,359 Speaker 1: was literally eight months old, sitting in my apartment kitchen 43 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 1: with my mom, and we both were like, there's no 44 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: other version. And then just randomly, because this is how 45 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: the universe works, my friend and I won't say their names. 46 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll come out with their really amazing journey 47 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: at some point. But I was at my friend's show 48 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: and her friend comes out to me and she's like, 49 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: how are you doing? And I was like, I'm so good. 50 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: She asked about Ocean. She was like, we're so excited 51 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: to have kids. We just secured our donor and I 52 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: was like stop yep. I was like, where did you go? 53 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: And she said, California Cryobank. We were dealing. We've been 54 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: dealing with the most incredible staff. They have babied us 55 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: the entire way. They showed me their donor. He is 56 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: indeed hot. He was very good looking. I said, good 57 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: for you, girl, and I said, can you please put 58 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: me in touch with him? I really want to start 59 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: the process of securing my donor. Yeah. 60 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 3: I think we hear this a lot, the amount of 61 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 3: people that are connected to California Cryobank and I think 62 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 3: the name is a little misleading because we're not just 63 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: in California. We shipped to all fifty states in over 64 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 3: forty countries, so we're really an internationally known We are 65 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 3: the number one sperm. 66 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 2: Bank in the US. We are the place. We're number one. 67 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: So I was extremely thrilled the moment I heard your 68 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: guys's name. Met with Brian, who you all have seen 69 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: on Vanner Pump Rules. 70 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 2: He's magic, He's magic. 71 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: And then obviously I was doing my own research on 72 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: this side because I know other women who have gone 73 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: this route and used other banks. But I was like, this, 74 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: this is the place, this is my bank. 75 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 3: So how did how did I know? You said you 76 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 3: started thinking about this when ocean was eight months old. 77 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 3: How did you connect I want to use a donor? 78 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 3: How did you know you were ready? 79 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 2: How did you know? 80 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 3: Okay, now is the time? Was it that conversation when 81 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 3: were like, the universe is telling me something. 82 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 1: So for your first question, I did not have a 83 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: pleasant experience. Have not been having a pleasant experience having 84 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: a co parent. I do not like sharing. Some people 85 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: call that selfish. I say, walk a day in my 86 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: shoes and you will probably be feeling the exact same way, 87 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,919 Speaker 1: and I just knew that I wanted a baby to 88 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,840 Speaker 1: just be in my house all the time, you know, 89 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: the way that I grew up. I woke up on 90 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: Christmas morning with both of my parents and because I 91 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 1: just felt like, in this day and age, it's really 92 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty chance that it's going to work 93 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: out with your partner, and I'm willing to put my 94 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: heart on the line all day every day. What I'm 95 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 1: not willing to do is put my child on the 96 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: line and just toss up a coin and say, I 97 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 1: may be able to see you every day, but I 98 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: may have to share you on Christmas and your birthday 99 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: and every other holiday. It just doesn't work for me, yea. 100 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: So that was the reason behind saying And I also 101 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: loved being pregnant because there was absolutely talks about like, 102 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: well maybe I adopt and I give you a child 103 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,159 Speaker 1: a really beautiful life, and that's still on the table. 104 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: I want many children, but I really just enjoyed being 105 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: pregnant and was like I want to experience that moment again. 106 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: So the donor route was just like a no brainer. 107 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: We knew that that's what we were going to do. 108 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: The other part and knowing that the timing was right 109 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: was I knew that I wanted them to be close 110 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: in age this baby in ocean, and it just felt, 111 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: I believe in, just like my gut speaking to me, 112 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: although it has led me wrong in many occasions. With this, 113 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm like the stars just seem to align. The conversation 114 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 1: with my friend who placed California Cryo Bank in front 115 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: of me, the many conversations I had with Brian, and 116 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 1: then just the easiness of like finding my fertility specialist 117 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: and getting the sperm from point A to point B 118 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: and let us know when you're ovulating. Oh you are, 119 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: let's do it. It just was like it just felt 120 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: so effortless and right, and I just kind of let 121 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: the universe guide me. 122 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 2: Did you have any fears going into this personally? 123 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: No, I felt very, very very solid in my decision 124 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: to do this with a donor. 125 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 2: Yea. 126 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: My fears come from overthinking, and maybe I'm not overthinking. 127 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just a regular mom. When this baby comes 128 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: into the world, you know, she may be the type 129 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: who has a lot of questions, you know, and I'm 130 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: ready and willing to answer those questions. My biggest hope 131 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: is that my child doesn't look at me like I 132 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: robbed them of something, if that makes sense. Likely you 133 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: chose to have me with a donor because you didn't 134 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:39,559 Speaker 1: want to share me those questions. I fear a lot, yeah, 135 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: But I just hope that if those questions come up 136 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: in those moments, that I'll have the tools to, you know, 137 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: make my daughter feel special and loved and for her 138 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,239 Speaker 1: to know that like I wanted you so so badly, 139 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: so badly that like, no, I didn't want to freaking share. Well. 140 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 2: I think you said it so beautifully. 141 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 3: Was it last night's episode where you said, like love 142 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 3: is love, That's all it takes to make your family. 143 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 2: That's all you need. 144 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 3: And you stay honest and you stay open, and you 145 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 3: stay fluid. I mean, you're a mom. You know that 146 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,239 Speaker 3: we don't get a manual when our kids are born. 147 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 2: I'd love one. 148 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 3: I'd love one, even if it comes a little late, 149 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 3: but we really don't get one. And you have to 150 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 3: figure it out based on your kid, and each one's different, 151 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 3: no matter how they came into this world. Every kid 152 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 3: needs something different. And if you come across a manual, 153 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 3: let me know, I'll. 154 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: Hunt it to you. And I when I said that. 155 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: You know, for us, we live in Los Angeles, California, 156 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: a very progressive place. I travel to other places that 157 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: are very progressive, and for me, when I have people 158 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: who I look at and go, oh, we are just 159 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 1: not on the same page at all, They're like, well, 160 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: what about this baby not having a I'm like, well, 161 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: I know plenty of people who it's two moms, two dads, 162 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,440 Speaker 1: single moms and the dad's kind of not that great? 163 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 1: Are the moms really not that great? And you know what, 164 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,359 Speaker 1: We're just resilient and we roll with the punches. Yeah, 165 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 1: there's no sure thing I could go out and find 166 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: a father to have a baby with. There's no guarantee 167 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 1: that that's gonna be a perfect pretty picture. 168 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 3: No, you follow your heart, you follow your gut. Yes, 169 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 3: California Croyodbank is here to make that happen. 170 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: Amen. Amen. 171 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 2: So I think one of the. 172 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 3: Things that we get asked a lot and that we're 173 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 3: trying to figure out and navigate is this pursuing parenthood 174 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 3: on your own in terms of the vernacular. Is it 175 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 3: single motherhood by choice? Is it really a choice? I 176 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 3: think you actually have a very unique perspective that you 177 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 3: bring to this. I've spoken to other moms who said 178 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 3: it wasn't really a choice. My choice, if I had 179 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 3: my magic would be I'd have, you know, a partner, 180 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 3: and I'd. 181 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 2: Get to do this with him. So it wasn't really 182 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 2: a choice. 183 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,679 Speaker 3: And then I recently learned of this phrase of pursuing 184 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 3: parenthood on your own? What are you calling your journey? 185 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 3: What are you considering yourself? 186 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 2: Anything? Resonate? 187 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: Can you give me an example of what other people 188 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 1: are calling themselves? 189 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 2: Are you a single mother? Are you a single mother 190 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 2: by choice? Okay? Pursuing parenthood on your own? Is I 191 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:26,959 Speaker 2: think that? 192 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 1: I think with ocean It, I would be called a 193 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:36,319 Speaker 1: single parent, and with this baby, I would be pursuing 194 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 1: parenthood on my own because it's really all I want, 195 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: you know. I I literally actively when I'm out like dating, 196 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, this will be a great partnership. But if 197 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: you want children, I recommend you go find somebody to 198 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: do that with and I'll be here when you're ready. 199 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: If you will not live with me, we will not 200 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:03,439 Speaker 1: share children. So I think that that would best describe 201 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: me parenting with this child. 202 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome, love it. 203 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 3: I had to ask because it's one of our top 204 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 3: questions that either gets asked or that we are asked 205 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 3: about from our families who are doing it that way. 206 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 3: And I think it really you're bringing such a light 207 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 3: and empowerment to this conversation that I just wanted a 208 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 3: sneak peek. I love the question amazing what questions or concerns? 209 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 3: I know you just knew California cryobank was the one. 210 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 3: Did you have any questions or concerns? Did you look elsewhere? 211 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 2: Like? How did you know it? 212 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:39,959 Speaker 4: Was it? 213 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 3: Because your friend said, so, what was it when you 214 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 3: went to cryobank dot com that had you go, oh, no, 215 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 3: for sure, this is the place for me. 216 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: It wasn't just I think the biggest thing was that 217 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 1: there was a personal connection with my friend that came 218 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: to you guys. The other thing was not only you know, 219 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: you get to googling, and it did pop up very 220 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: often that you guys were the number one cryo bank 221 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: in the US, and it was like, well, that really 222 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: speaks to me. But then when I started dealing with 223 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 1: Brian and just the way I was being treated, I 224 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 1: didn't feel like, I think it's about what seventy five 225 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: thousand families that you guys have helped worldwide. I didn't 226 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: feel like just another part of the seventy five thousand. 227 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 1: I felt like I was one of one. And it 228 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: was just like him talking, and I know it's a 229 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: very strange thing for people when he started walking me 230 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: through like the donor pages and the catalog, and it 231 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: was like, you know, some people care about this rather 232 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: than this. You have to decide what you really really 233 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 1: care about. And I think that's where it's very fun. Yes, 234 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 1: you know, we had the donor party. I was like, 235 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: this is so fun. I'm like handing out and so 236 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: many people were but this guy, I think it was 237 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: my mother. This guy loves to cook. I'm like, we're 238 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,319 Speaker 1: not shopping for the. 239 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 2: Man, y'all. 240 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 1: Doesn't matter if he likes to cook. We can hope 241 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: that that comes through in the baby though. So I 242 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: appreciate you pointing out that the donor likes to cook. 243 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: But he had a way of making it feel like 244 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 1: I wasn't alone, you know, because I talk about this often. 245 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: The conception of ocean was very well thought out. It 246 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: was a conversation, a beautiful conversation that we are going 247 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 1: to start a family, me choosing this route that conversation 248 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: doesn't exist, So where do I turn? Well, I turned 249 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: to my mom, I turned to my brother, But then 250 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: the people who are on the other end, who are 251 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: actually facilitating this, I was also leaning in on. So 252 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: it felt very warm to me. 253 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,959 Speaker 3: I think that's one of the things that makes us 254 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 3: so special is our dedicated service client services team. I 255 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 3: always use the word magic. I don't know another word 256 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:04,559 Speaker 3: for Brad and his team at all, both personally and professionally. 257 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 3: I was a family with them before I started working here, 258 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 3: and they will hold your hand as little or as 259 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,679 Speaker 3: much as you want. Right, it is catered to you. 260 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 3: It is about you. It's not about everybody else. This 261 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 3: is what do you want? And figuring out what do 262 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 3: you want? 263 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 2: Where did you start? What were important to you, what 264 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,240 Speaker 2: wasn't important to you. 265 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: I would say that looks were the lowest on the 266 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: totem pole, in the sense of like, I wasn't walking 267 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: in being like I want a supermodel of a man. 268 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: I really wanted, humor I wanted and I didn't want 269 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: to see adult photos that made it too personal for me. 270 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 1: So the child's photos were great. And I also and 271 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 1: I know that genetics are fickle. You know, like two 272 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: kids could come from the exact same mom and dad 273 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: and look totally different. Like, I got that, but I 274 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: wanted to eliminate as much hardship as I bought. The 275 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 1: world is hard enough as it is. I don't need 276 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: to make it harder. So I did look at physical 277 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: appearance in the sense that I want this baby to 278 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: resemble the family. 279 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. 280 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: You know, they've already got to explain why there's not 281 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: a dad in the picture. I don't need them to 282 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: be like, and this is why I look different, which 283 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: could never come up. Yeah, this is the overthinking of 284 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: a mom. 285 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. 286 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 1: So I would say those and just speaking to me 287 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: like I knew. I knew that I had my donor 288 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: because the poeman song he had chosen in his profile 289 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: had to do with the ocean. His favorite animal was 290 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: a lion. He talked about things that I could relate to. 291 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: And I also not saying that intelligence was not important 292 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 1: to me, but I shocker did not go to Harvard. 293 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: And I'm like, if this, if the donor I choose 294 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: is like a brain surgeon and my child comes out 295 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 1: very smart, I'm not going to really be able to 296 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: keep up, you know, or incubate, incubate, the brilliant brain. 297 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't even know what to do with. 298 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 2: It, honestly, that's larious. 299 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 1: Those are the things I kind of looked at. And 300 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 1: the moment that this donor came into the picture, it 301 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: was wild because I had three that I was like, 302 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: really torn. But when I had my donor party, we 303 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: all were like, this is like a no brainer. Why 304 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: are we even talking about this anymore? We all say 305 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: yes to this one, and I was like, oh my gosh, 306 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 1: the stars have a line. 307 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 4: It was. 308 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 3: It was really cool watching and seeing those little tidbits 309 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 3: come out of our donor profiles and watching our families 310 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 3: pair up with these donors is such a cool experience, 311 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 3: and it's so different for everybody working with someone right now, 312 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 3: adult photos are almost a requirement for them. So we 313 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 3: also have these features where you can hear the donor's 314 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 3: voice I profiles. 315 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 1: Oh I heard the and the voice was hitten. 316 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 3: That's how I, my wife and I felt about our donor. 317 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 3: I was like, who's this? Me and my wife? 318 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 2: Who is this? 319 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:11,880 Speaker 1: Who is this? 320 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 3: But there's some people that don't want to listen to 321 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,880 Speaker 3: the voice because that makes it too personal. 322 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: See this is not one size fits all. 323 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely not. 324 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 3: And I think that also goes back to our client 325 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 3: services team. We know it's not one size fits all. 326 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 3: So what works for you is not going to work 327 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 3: for someone else, right. We work with families who have 328 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 3: multiple you know, like their sister will come to us 329 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 3: or their brother will come to us, and they don't 330 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 3: do the same thing, and they're related in the same family, 331 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 3: both needing donor sperm, and it's just it's so personalized 332 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 3: and individualized, and we try to cater to as many 333 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 3: of our families as possible. We want to be able 334 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 3: to help everybody, and we need a donor catalog that 335 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:56,720 Speaker 3: fits all of our families, the seventy five thousand plus worldwide. 336 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 3: We need that diversity because everybody is looking for something different. 337 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 2: Of course, it's it's it's just so juicy. 338 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 3: We had somebody who listened to all of the conversations 339 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 3: available from all of our donors. She listened to it 340 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 3: like it was a podcast. 341 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: Oh I love that. 342 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 2: I love that I had to share that here. 343 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 3: That's a genius and people are people are creative, and 344 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 3: that's how she like kind of like fell in love 345 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 3: with who this other person could be and like, would 346 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 3: she want to go get coffee with them and just 347 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 3: keep talking to them? 348 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,719 Speaker 2: And I'm like that, should I have done that? Did I? 349 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:32,959 Speaker 4: Did? 350 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 2: I do mine wrong? 351 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:34,679 Speaker 1: Not at all. 352 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,880 Speaker 3: Ons are perfect and beautiful and I would never change 353 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 3: what I did. But it's so cool listening to how 354 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 3: people have evolved over these years and figuring out what 355 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 3: they're that fit is right. So when you started this 356 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,400 Speaker 3: journey and you knew, okay, we're hit and play, did 357 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 3: you know what kind of procedure you were doing? Did 358 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 3: you have like if I had a magic wand I 359 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 3: would want it to go this way. 360 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 1: I I knew right off the bat that we were 361 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 1: doing IUI okay, and I knew that because I did 362 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 1: not have a hard time getting pregnant with Ocean. It 363 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: was actually very easy. And I know that that is 364 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: not everyone's story, and I feel very grateful and it 365 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: is not lost on me that that is not normal. 366 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 1: So we did IUI, and and my fertility specialists did 367 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: try to say, are you sure you don't want to 368 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 1: do IVF just for safety measures, and I said, let's 369 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,159 Speaker 1: try this and if it does not take the first time, 370 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: then then we can venture into what you're saying, because 371 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 1: I know you're the doctor and you've seen a lot 372 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 1: of cases, and I'm not trying to shit all over 373 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 1: what you're saying. I know you're the genius, but let's 374 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 1: just try it the first time, you know, no pressure. 375 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,440 Speaker 1: But I was prepared. I was prepared to do the 376 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: whole egg retrieval, create the embryos, and I was not 377 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: opposed to it. But I knew that we were going 378 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: the initial was going to. 379 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 2: Be iui okay, And that two week wait, what was 380 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 2: that like? 381 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: Going back? You just saying that the elephant went back 382 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 1: on my chest and I felt like I was going 383 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,440 Speaker 1: to vomit. In fact, I had thought of this entire 384 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: plan about where I was gonna find out. It was 385 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: gonna be in Palm Springs right before Christmas. And then 386 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,199 Speaker 1: it hit me like, it's not one hundred percent that 387 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: you're going to get a positive girl, so let's reel 388 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: it in. And I actually took it late at night 389 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: on December twenty second, while my little brother slept and 390 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: my mother cleaned up the kitchen because I wanted no pressure. Yeah, 391 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 1: the apartment was a bomb because we knew we were 392 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: going to be moving, and I took it right there, 393 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: and when it popped up double lines, I was like, 394 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 1: there's no way. In fact, I emptied the box, just 395 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 1: peeing on stick after stick because I'm like, there's no way. 396 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 1: My doctor told me, please don't feel defeated if it 397 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: doesn't take the first time, because I was like, Ocean 398 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: was super easy. I feel great about it, and he's like, okay, 399 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: but you're also older now, not much, but you are yep, 400 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: and it could take five to seven times, and I 401 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 1: don't want you to feel like we're not going to 402 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,359 Speaker 1: get you pregnant. I want you to keep the faith 403 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:20,159 Speaker 1: and keep the hope. And I was like, just I 404 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 1: just sat there and stared at it, and I'm a 405 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: weird Do I keep my peace sticks? I still have Oceans? 406 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 2: I love that you should put it in like a 407 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 2: shadow box. 408 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:28,159 Speaker 1: I should. 409 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Ocean, You're not the only one that share 410 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 3: that keeps them. 411 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,880 Speaker 1: I can't imagine that. I am no, Yeah, Ocean has 412 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 1: one piece stick. This baby girl has like twelve piece sticks. 413 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:44,360 Speaker 2: Because I'm like it just wow, that feeling of it worked. 414 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 3: Yeah for me. I had a split moment of like, wait, 415 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 3: is this what I want? What did I just commit 416 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 3: myself to OK. But I didn't have that moment, and 417 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 3: like ours, was very intentional. My wife and I had 418 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 3: to like make the choice of yes, we're ready, Yes 419 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,439 Speaker 3: this is our investment, this is our and then once 420 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 3: that baby takes their first breath, your life is changed forever. 421 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 3: And you know, my wife and I joke about it 422 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 3: all the time. We got married and not a whole 423 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 3: lot changed except my last name, and we started filing 424 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 3: taxes jointly. 425 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 2: Right, that's nothing changed. 426 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 3: That baby took her first breath. My life has never 427 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,160 Speaker 3: been the same and it will never be the same. 428 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 3: So you see those two pink lines. Oh, actually I 429 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 3: never peed on a stick. Oh, I was way too scared. 430 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 3: I didn't want a false positive. I didn't want a 431 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 3: false negative. I was like, do the blood test my blood, 432 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 3: let me know for sure. 433 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 2: Like you went straight to the gynecologist, you mean I. 434 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 3: I went straight to my fertility clinic. And I said, okay, 435 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 3: oh my god, that call Hi. 436 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 2: This is Sydney. 437 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 3: It's been fourteen days since you know the thing, and 438 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 3: I haven't got my you know what. It hasn't come yet. 439 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,920 Speaker 3: And I don't want to say it out loud because 440 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 3: I don't want to jinx it and they said, you're 441 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 3: not the only person that calls and says it like that, right. 442 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,520 Speaker 3: I didn't want to say that I didn't get my 443 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 3: period yet because I didn't. 444 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 1: Want you I want to call it x it right. 445 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 2: And they said, we'll order you a blood test and 446 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 2: we'll let you know later that day. 447 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,160 Speaker 1: It's no, it's wild. It's wild. And I that's why 448 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,600 Speaker 1: I took so many. And because it was the twenty 449 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 1: second we were leaving for Palm Springs for Christmas, I 450 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 1: had to wait to get into my fertility specialists when 451 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 1: we returned, and so I was freaking. I did not 452 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: take it seriously until that appointment. I was like, you 453 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: know what, I'm just gonna pretend. It's not like I 454 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 1: drink or anything. So it's not like I was getting 455 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: buck wild. It's like I'm always pregnant. So I'm just 456 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 1: gonna pretend like I'm not pregnant. And maybe it's right, 457 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,360 Speaker 1: maybe it's wrong, and we'll get to the fertility specialist 458 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,879 Speaker 1: and they'll give us a one hundred or not. 459 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 3: So the two week waight, was that elephant on your chest? 460 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 3: What did you do to get through it? And because 461 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 3: you had to wait from finding those two pink lines 462 00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 3: to the fertility doctor. 463 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 2: Did you tell anybody in those like a few days. 464 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: Week The first two weeks after I got the one hundred, 465 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 1: I was telling everybody I love that, everybody I could, 466 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 1: and I would tell people not to tell anyone else, 467 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: like it's a big secret, no one knows. Don't tell 468 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 1: anybody that I'm telling everybody. 469 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 470 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: No, the first two weeks it was only my family 471 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: Jessica knew, and then a couple of my best friends, 472 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: and that was really it. It's it's hard to keep 473 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,119 Speaker 1: something like that, especially because they say keep it through 474 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 1: the first trimester, just because it's you know, anything could happen, 475 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 1: anything could happen at any point in time. That's remained 476 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,399 Speaker 1: grateful always, But the first trimester is a little scary, 477 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: Yes it is, But I still told everybody. 478 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 2: Look, I'm in. 479 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 3: I'm in the belief that for good or for bad, 480 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 3: you want you want your community there. You want people 481 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,080 Speaker 3: to celebrate the wins, but you also don't want to 482 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 3: have to go up to people and be like, hey, 483 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 3: so this really terrible thing happened, because then they had 484 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 3: to have that moment of like, oh my god, something 485 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 3: might have awesome have happened, and now you're grieving something 486 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 3: and to just kind of allow people to be there 487 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 3: for you for the process, especially pursuing this on your own, 488 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 3: you need to kind of build that village and build 489 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 3: that support and have that community because you should be 490 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 3: able to lean on people. This shouldn't be all or nothing, 491 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 3: and it's exciting when you find out, and you should 492 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 3: celebrate the wins. 493 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. I really just like could not keep it to myself. 494 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,639 Speaker 1: I was like, this is amazing, Like I'm gonna have 495 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:39,880 Speaker 1: another baby, and for me, the double lines popped up, 496 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: and I was like, I thought I had a little 497 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,639 Speaker 1: more time. The doctor said five to seven, but omg, 498 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: and then the first heartbeat and in anytime, ocean would 499 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 1: melt down. I was like, what have I done? Yep, 500 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: Oh my god, yep. But then but then you see 501 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: the first profile picture and you're like, oh my gosh. 502 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 2: Giving me baby fever. 503 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: And I want to give everyone all the baby fever. 504 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 1: I am problem so freaking excited. 505 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 2: Do you think you'll have another Oh? 506 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, of course, we talked about it. 507 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, everything already. 508 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 1: Holding her hand. I'll be like, you got this girl, 509 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 1: But once you have three, what is one more? Truly 510 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 1: once you have four, though, what is one more? You 511 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 1: might as well have six. 512 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know what kind of car 513 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 2: you would use for what four? For more than four? Well, 514 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 2: I'm one of five, you're one. 515 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 5: Of five, and it's s uv van like all the 516 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 5: big cars. 517 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,200 Speaker 3: Well, you guys saw what I came in. My minivan, 518 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 3: my sexy minivan. Oh my god, the Christ listen those 519 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 3: doors open. My daughter is very independent. She likes to 520 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 3: open the door by herself. She'll never hit another car. 521 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: The mini van is fan. 522 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:04,000 Speaker 3: I am living in my peak era, my minivan. I'm 523 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 3: in the suburbs. There's nothing more than life. 524 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 2: So this is the k de la creb no penintended, crab, 525 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 2: no fun intended. 526 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 1: She said, Yes, welcome to the Given podcast. Yeah, we 527 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 1: did post on our podcast page for all the questions 528 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 1: in the world about this process about California, Cryobank. Just 529 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 1: do you want to read those? Yes, you got some 530 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 1: good ones. 531 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 5: The listeners our friends wrote in with a ton of questions, 532 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 5: so we can't ask them all but and you guys 533 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 5: kind of touched on some of these. But I'm just 534 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,120 Speaker 5: going to ask them to give Like, so you guys 535 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,360 Speaker 5: can give direct answers there for both of you. So, yeah, 536 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 5: first one that we have a lot of is what 537 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 5: information do you have access to about your donor? So 538 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 5: you touched on it, but like is there anything you 539 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 5: didn't mention? 540 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 3: You did a pretty good job of kind of discussing 541 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 3: what yours have. All of our donors are slightly different, 542 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 3: so there's not a blanket everybody has this. The things 543 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:10,120 Speaker 3: that are included is that extensive family medical history. You 544 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 3: get these cute we call them staff impressions, so people 545 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 3: who are doing the do the interviews with the donors, 546 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 3: the staff will kind of come up with a cute 547 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 3: little blurb and it just humanizes who these people are. 548 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 3: You get height, you get weight, you get eye color, 549 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 3: hair color, blood type. I think that family medical history 550 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 3: thing is a really big important one for a lot 551 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 3: of a lot of our families. 552 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,399 Speaker 2: It was for us. My donor had his essay t 553 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 2: score wow. Yeah. 554 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, you get a lot of information. Once you report 555 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 3: your pregnancy with us, you get a drive, like a 556 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 3: downloadable drive of all of the information. So any of 557 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,080 Speaker 3: the photos that your donor has submitted, you get access 558 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,440 Speaker 3: to all of those for keeps back in my day, 559 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 3: they would send you a jump drive. We've modernized since 560 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 3: then and now it's all just digital so anything. Once 561 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 3: you pick your donor and you report your pregnancy, you 562 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 3: get all of that information sent to you and you 563 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 3: can keep that in a keepsake for your future children 564 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 3: to have. 565 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, that staff impressions so cute. Was that kind of 566 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: put the bow on the whole package? 567 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 2: Yeah? 568 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it express yourself, the poems, the songs. We 569 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 3: have donors who give family recipes. We have really cool 570 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 3: we have really cool things. We have a DNA ancestry 571 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 3: for some of our donors. Mine had that, So for 572 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 3: anybody who has whatever your donor has, you will get 573 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 3: all of that to keep once you report your pregnancy. 574 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 3: It's kind of cool shopping on our on our site, 575 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 3: it's no, the filters are intense. 576 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,840 Speaker 1: No, it really is quite fun. 577 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 5: I was so into it, your mom was so we 578 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 5: were all so into it. 579 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: It was a game. You were so into. Yeah, you 580 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: know what I love to about that. 581 00:29:55,200 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 5: It's like there is some even if there's positive energy 582 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,719 Speaker 5: into the donating process, because it's not like the donor 583 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 5: shows up, does their thing and then gets out. 584 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 2: They're putting Like. 585 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 5: My favorite song like this beautiful energy into all of it. 586 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 1: Which I love. 587 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 3: It's it's a rigorous process. Yeah and yeah, are you 588 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 3: really have to show up? And it's more than you know, 589 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,800 Speaker 3: just getting paid and leaving, Like you said, it's really 590 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 3: we have we have the best donors. 591 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: These donors. It is a process. 592 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 5: Well, we have questions about the vetting. Okay, well let's 593 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 5: talk since Okay, so that's the ask. Yeah, So basically 594 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 5: just people asking how do you guys vet the sperm donors? 595 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,440 Speaker 3: Fair question, It's a good question, and it's a question 596 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 3: we get asked all the time. So the basic requirements 597 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 3: before you can even move on is you have to 598 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 3: be between nineteen and thirty eight years old. You need 599 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,640 Speaker 3: to be in good health. You need to have a 600 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 3: degree or relevant work experience, so we don't necessarily require 601 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 3: a college degree. And then you have to legally be 602 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 3: allowed to work in the US. You meet those four requires, 603 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 3: you move on to the next step. There is extensive 604 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,959 Speaker 3: medical family histories that you have to be able to 605 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 3: provide that we have to be able to vet. You 606 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 3: meet with a clinical psychologist. I think that one was 607 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 3: another big one for me personally. Choosing a sperm bank 608 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 3: is I wanted to know that these donors know exactly 609 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 3: what they are signing up for. 610 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 2: Anonymity is a thing of. 611 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 3: The past, so all of our donors since twenty eighteen 612 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 3: are considered ID disclosure donors. That means when your child 613 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 3: turns eighteen, if they want to get some qualifying information 614 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 3: on who this donor is, we will be able to 615 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 3: provide whatever information we have at that time, like their name, 616 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 3: their address, their phone number, so show yeah, it's We 617 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 3: do still have anonymous donors on our catalog, but they're 618 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 3: from before twenty eighteen. So that's another thing that all 619 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:56,440 Speaker 3: of our donors since then. They all have to understand, Okay, 620 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 3: what happens when you get that so called knock on 621 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,360 Speaker 3: your door? What does that mean to you? What if 622 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 3: you're in a relationship now, what if you're not in 623 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 3: one now and then you decide to get married and 624 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 3: this happens. Really understanding the breadth of what this donation 625 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 3: is blood work, like for months, they have to be 626 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 3: doing all this blood work again health reasons and safety, 627 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 3: So that's kind of the basics of it. Less than 628 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 3: one percent of all applicants who make it into our 629 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 3: donor catalog less than one percent make it. 630 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 1: That's wild because of our. 631 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 3: High standards and minimum donation requirements, so we also ask 632 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 3: that they don't donate to other banks. But we have 633 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 3: some pretty stringent processes in place, so less than one 634 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,360 Speaker 3: percent of applicants. 635 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. 636 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 5: I'm going to ask the question that has been asked 637 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 5: officially the most from our listeners. It is, which you 638 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 5: probably know, what's the overall cost of this journey? 639 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 1: Yeah? 640 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 2: So costs? 641 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 3: It depends on are you doing an at home insemination? 642 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 3: Are you going to do IUI or IVF, What state 643 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 3: do you live in, what country do you live in? 644 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 3: So all of those fees vary and range. So what 645 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,479 Speaker 3: we've done to hopefully make it easier for your audience 646 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 3: because I know that based on all these questions there's 647 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 3: a lot of people going, I want to do this, 648 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 3: I don't know where to start. We've created a promo 649 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 3: code on behalf of you guys called Mommy m O 650 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 3: mmy for a free Level three subscription to our donor catalog. 651 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 3: So when you go to our cryobank dot com and 652 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,120 Speaker 3: you create an account, it's free. You get our Level 653 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 3: one subscription with that it has minimal information on what 654 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 3: access you can get to our donors. Level three is 655 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,480 Speaker 3: our premiere, top tier access. You get absolutely everything. You 656 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 3: can see, all those photos, you can see all the 657 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 3: medical histories, and that's a really good place to start 658 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 3: to kind of start figuring out your vetting process. California 659 00:33:54,560 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 3: Cryobank we offer a program called Family Today, Family Tomorrow, 660 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 3: So based on a certain number of vials you buy, 661 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 3: we give free storage programs. We have a Vile buyback program. 662 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 3: We do have a partner when it comes to financial 663 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 3: help and partner so we've done what we can to 664 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 3: hopefully help provide a little bit of assistance on the 665 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 3: sperm side, but clinics. 666 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 2: And procedures kind of vary based on where you are. 667 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 1: And I want to with that code because you know, 668 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 1: I had a lot of people slide into my DM 669 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,480 Speaker 1: on the podcast page and really wanting to go this route. 670 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: And you know, kids are expensive even when you just 671 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,560 Speaker 1: conceive them. With your partner and myself in California, Cryobank 672 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,560 Speaker 1: really really want to help whoever is interested in going 673 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 1: this route. It's important for you guys to know if 674 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:53,399 Speaker 1: you use that promo code, Mommy, I'm not benefiting off 675 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,200 Speaker 1: of that. So I love that we're doing that. I 676 00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:01,880 Speaker 1: love the code mommy because I'm a mommy. Do we 677 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: have any other questions? 678 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,279 Speaker 5: We have a lot, but I know we're running out 679 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 5: of time, so let's just end on this one. 680 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,440 Speaker 2: Because it's been asked a few times. 681 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, La, La, I know you touched on this, but 682 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 5: how do you plan to talk to your daughters about 683 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 5: this when they are both old enough. 684 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to let them steer the ship. If they 685 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,719 Speaker 1: have the questions, I will answer them. I don't really know. 686 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: I can't plan for something. I always say that I'm 687 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,040 Speaker 1: going to cross bridges when I get to them. I 688 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 1: am notorious for trying to cross bridges before I get 689 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,120 Speaker 1: to them, and it leads me into a straight panic. 690 00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: And I find that when things happen in real time 691 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,240 Speaker 1: and I just speak from my heart, that's when everything 692 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: kind of remains smooth and we keep it moving and 693 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 1: everyone's happy. So if those questions ever come to fruition, 694 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 1: I wholeheartedly believe that I'm going to be able to 695 00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,960 Speaker 1: have those conversations in a productive way. I don't believe 696 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,359 Speaker 1: in keeping things from people. I think that does more 697 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,320 Speaker 1: harm than good. So if they're asking questions, like we're 698 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 1: breaking down the nitty gritty of everything. Yeah, but the 699 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,440 Speaker 1: most important thing for me is just letting them know 700 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 1: how love they are. And I know, just watching my 701 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,240 Speaker 1: daughter ocean, you know, it's it's a very unconventional life 702 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:24,959 Speaker 1: that she's growing up in. But I'm man, that kid 703 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 1: is just magical and thriving. So I'm really happy. 704 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,319 Speaker 5: We're so happy for this entire process, just being able 705 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,280 Speaker 5: to watch it the entire way and like this family 706 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,720 Speaker 5: growing on your terms. 707 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 2: It's beautiful. 708 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's beautiful. 709 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,279 Speaker 4: And thank you for making this session great experience for 710 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 4: her because it means a lot. With everything she goes through, 711 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:52,560 Speaker 4: this was finally a very beautiful and amazing experience for her, 712 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:53,319 Speaker 4: So thank you guys. 713 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, I'm trying to not get let my 714 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 3: emotions get the best of it. I know what it's 715 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 3: like to be a mom and you have the spotlight 716 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 3: and the pressure, and I can only imagine the kickback 717 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 3: sometimes that you might get from people you don't know 718 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 3: and you will never know, and what you're choosing is powerful, 719 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 3: and like they said, it's on your terms and we 720 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,680 Speaker 3: are here to help make if it's that much easier. 721 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,680 Speaker 3: We'll take it because we don't want you to go 722 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,799 Speaker 3: through this process without any We want you to have 723 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 3: it all and if we can help make that happen. 724 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,480 Speaker 1: I feel like true, like I feel like I do 725 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:35,360 Speaker 1: have it all. I'm really the happiest I've been in 726 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 1: a really long time. And I just I say that 727 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,560 Speaker 1: I stay in my reality, and my reality is very 728 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,799 Speaker 1: beautiful and once I enter that bubble of what is 729 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 1: the outside world, and like you said, people will never 730 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,839 Speaker 1: meet in my entire life as long as I stay 731 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:55,560 Speaker 1: out of that bubble and in reality. Yep, like we're 732 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: on and have been on cloud nine for quite some time. No, 733 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:03,239 Speaker 1: and I really really attribute that to you guys coming 734 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,240 Speaker 1: through and making my mom my dreams come true. 735 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 3: Well on that, I have two last questions for you. Yes, 736 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,680 Speaker 3: So the first, who's been? Who has been? 737 00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,160 Speaker 2: Or who have been your biggest supporters during this time? 738 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's so hard to even like say who, 739 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:24,920 Speaker 1: because I've had an overwhelming amount of support from my 740 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,759 Speaker 1: own community, but also like Mama's where like I said, 741 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 1: I kind of stay off of social media and things. 742 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 1: But my amazing brain slash assistant slash dear friend will 743 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 1: send me incredible messages from women. My mom has been 744 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,719 Speaker 1: absolutely amazing for someone who's sixty three, which does not 745 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,000 Speaker 1: sound old, but I've met sixty three year old who 746 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,239 Speaker 1: are not as progressive as my mother. She's been absolutely fantastic. 747 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,840 Speaker 1: My brother, just all of my friends. When I told 748 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,120 Speaker 1: my friends and family that I was using a donor, 749 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:02,480 Speaker 1: it was like telling them that I was like just 750 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,800 Speaker 1: one a million dollars, Like they were just so happy. 751 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: It wasn't like, are you sure you don't want to 752 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:14,400 Speaker 1: wait to meet someone, which is wild because I have 753 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,960 Speaker 1: had that from people who of course other people, but 754 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:22,160 Speaker 1: my community wasn't even wasn't a question, wasn't a thought, 755 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:23,720 Speaker 1: and they've been supportive ever since. 756 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 4: Yeah. 757 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, final question, Okay, what are your biggest takeaways from 758 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 3: this process that can help someone else pursuing parenthood on 759 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 3: their own. 760 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:38,640 Speaker 1: Oh? The biggest takeaway I want to say was actually 761 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:42,320 Speaker 1: how warm the experience was. I think because I've done both, 762 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,440 Speaker 1: I can kind of speak to both sides. I think 763 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,600 Speaker 1: at the very beginning, I was preparing myself for this 764 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 1: to be more of an isolating experience because you don't 765 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 1: have the other person there, and for me, it was 766 00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:59,560 Speaker 1: by choice to not have another person there, but just 767 00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 1: to look at it and go, wow, it's not as scientific. 768 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,120 Speaker 1: And maybe it's because of the way that I treated 769 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 1: it by having the donor party and by leaning into 770 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,799 Speaker 1: the California CRYODB and can be like, I'm gonna need 771 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:13,319 Speaker 1: you to hold my hand, maybe a little bit more 772 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,880 Speaker 1: than someone else may need you. I would say that 773 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,200 Speaker 1: was the most surprising thing, is like, oh, this experience 774 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:25,680 Speaker 1: is actually very fun. I love shopping, so to take 775 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,960 Speaker 1: all of it and then come out of it with 776 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,840 Speaker 1: like this beautiful baby that I'll be welcoming hopefully in 777 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:36,360 Speaker 1: Virgo season, I'm like, this is freaking awesome. Yeah, people 778 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,360 Speaker 1: should do this. In fact, I have friends who are like, 779 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,360 Speaker 1: you've got to figure it out, Like I'm doing this. 780 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a beautiful process and we're really excited for you. 781 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 3: Thank you, and uh yeah, we hope your listeners use 782 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,080 Speaker 3: promo code. Mommy, I too, mom. 783 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 1: We want to make all the mommy dreams come true. 784 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,520 Speaker 1: I know it's an intimidating and like you think about 785 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,880 Speaker 1: becoming a parent, and just like we talked about it, 786 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: it's intimidating and scary and hard and expensive to become 787 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,360 Speaker 1: a parent just in the normal world. So if we 788 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,399 Speaker 1: can alleviate some of the pressure and stresses, I hope 789 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 1: that we can. I'm so happy you came on. 790 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:14,400 Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. 791 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:15,880 Speaker 1: Of course it was a pleasure. 792 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 5: And Jess I wanted to mention there is a link 793 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,160 Speaker 5: in laws bio that'll take you, guys to that code 794 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,799 Speaker 5: page and to all of that if you. 795 00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 2: Want to explore more. 796 00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:28,520 Speaker 1: Yes, Instagram bio. That is Instagram bio La. Thank you 797 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,799 Speaker 1: Drisha Kurr Sidney. You're amazing. God bless you and your 798 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,680 Speaker 1: family and three babies. They can't wait for you to 799 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 1: bring in a fourth. 800 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,280 Speaker 2: Amen. 801 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:42,879 Speaker 1: You can go home and tell your wife and say, 802 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,799 Speaker 1: Lala and I had a deep rooted discussion and we've 803 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 1: decided on a four. 804 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's done. 805 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,319 Speaker 1: I love it. You guys, thank you for listening to 806 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,480 Speaker 1: another episode of the Give Them La La Bonus Podcast 807 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,720 Speaker 1: Episode I will catch you next week.