1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:05,600
Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:06,000
Speaker 1: and we.

3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:06,480
Speaker 2: Have some.

4
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,840
Speaker 1: Good story is coming up for you.

5
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:10,640
Speaker 3: That's right.

6
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

7
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: two minute ad break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

8
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,840
Speaker 2: My boyfriend refuses to be intimate with me because he

9
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,919
Speaker 2: believes it's a sin. It's worth it. Though both me

10
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,600
Speaker 2: twenty six female and my boyfriend twenty nine mail are

11
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,400
Speaker 2: Christian and have been dating for three years, we do

12
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:34,800
Speaker 2: and have always had spicy sleep up until yesterday Tuesday.

13
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Old Chaine eighty five

14
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,600
Speaker 2: oh six and if you want to submit your own stories,

15
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,920
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime suburt it. So

16
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,479
Speaker 2: you made the decision to stop having spicy sleep with

17
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,839
Speaker 2: me because he wanted to eliminate that sin from his life.

18
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,400
Speaker 2: I did not get a say, and me crying, actual

19
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:54,520
Speaker 2: mouth open, sobbing, hyperventilating, ruining my context. The entire time

20
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,520
Speaker 2: we talked, a six hour conversation did not change a thing.

21
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,520
Speaker 2: You said things like being with me in that way

22
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,120
Speaker 2: is root did an evil and a mistake, and that

23
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,039
Speaker 2: having spicy sleep with me is an act of violence

24
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,400
Speaker 2: against his own body whoa. He said that this decision

25
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,479
Speaker 2: has brought him a lot of peace. He was kind

26
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,759
Speaker 2: of really happy about it. He didn't get upset until

27
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,320
Speaker 2: he saw how it unlive me inside. I was and

28
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,720
Speaker 2: am devastated. My devastation comes from a lot of places,

29
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,360
Speaker 2: including the situation coming up out of the blue. One

30
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,400
Speaker 2: of the last things he said to me on Monday night,

31
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,600
Speaker 2: the day before all of this, was sir, you're gonna

32
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,640
Speaker 2: let me hit it tomorrow. Wait huh? Real big switch up?

33
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:33,560
Speaker 2: What real? Big switch m It was playful and not weird,

34
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,960
Speaker 2: although it may sound that way. I'm devastated because spicy

35
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,600
Speaker 2: sleep always made us feel so close and connected, and

36
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,720
Speaker 2: it was and is for everyone, a way to be

37
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,520
Speaker 2: vulnerable and intimate with your partner. The suddenness of this

38
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,760
Speaker 2: and the classification of that closeness and intimacy is evil

39
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:52,120
Speaker 2: and a mistake has left me feeling lonely, abandoned, rejected,

40
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,440
Speaker 2: and betrayed. I'm not sure if I'm the ale for

41
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,559
Speaker 2: having a really hard time with this. I just don't

42
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,560
Speaker 2: know what to do about it. People deserve to have

43
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,680
Speaker 2: their religious views respected. Well is their body autonomy? There's

44
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,080
Speaker 2: no rule that says he hass to have spicy sleep

45
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,919
Speaker 2: with me, and I wouldn't want it if it was forced.

46
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,400
Speaker 2: To know, it's a weird situation to be in, being

47
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,160
Speaker 2: that the woman is usually the one to put the

48
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,240
Speaker 2: brakes on a spicy sleepy. It's really about the idea

49
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,640
Speaker 2: that I had no choice in this, that anything I

50
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,560
Speaker 2: have to say or feel about it will not alter

51
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 2: the outcome and the loss of a special kind of love, intimacy, vulnerability, closeness.

52
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,760
Speaker 2: I don't know if I can move forward with it,

53
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,400
Speaker 2: and I can't tell if that makes me wrong or

54
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:31,920
Speaker 2: bad or unreasonable. Pausing really quick, No, no, it's not.

55
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,320
Speaker 2: He is allowed, of course, to make any decision in

56
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,320
Speaker 2: regards to his body. If anyone, at any point in

57
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:43,480
Speaker 2: a relationship says I no longer want to have spicy sleep,

58
00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:44,560
Speaker 2: totally fine.

59
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

60
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,639
Speaker 2: Also totally fine for the other person in that relationship

61
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,560
Speaker 2: is to say, actually, that's a really important part of

62
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,200
Speaker 2: our relationship. For me, I don't know if I can

63
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,520
Speaker 2: continue in this relationship. It's the kind of thing that's like,

64
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,079
Speaker 2: it's huge bummer. It doesn't mean that like one of

65
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,359
Speaker 2: you guys has to change. It just means us suddenly

66
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,480
Speaker 2: you are no longer compatible exactly. Yeah, yeah, And it's like,

67
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,399
Speaker 2: if he wants to make that decision, fine, sure, that's

68
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,880
Speaker 2: that's his choice. He cannot make you feel bad for

69
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,080
Speaker 2: being like, ooh, that's a really important part of the

70
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,440
Speaker 2: relationship for me. Yeah, I don't know if I can

71
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,640
Speaker 2: continue like that. Exactly. He says he's doing this because

72
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,000
Speaker 2: he loves me, that it's his job to leave me

73
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,560
Speaker 2: closer to christ and that he has no choice in

74
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,480
Speaker 2: the matter either. He's always said he wants a life

75
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 2: with me, and we have talked about engagement frequently. Lately,

76
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,880
Speaker 2: we've both been saving to be able to put a

77
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,959
Speaker 2: down payment on some land to build a home on.

78
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 2: Even during this conversation that we had, he made it

79
00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:33,680
Speaker 2: clear that he still wants to be with me and

80
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,880
Speaker 2: doesn't want me to leave him over this. I just

81
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,280
Speaker 2: I don't know how I can stay with how much

82
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,960
Speaker 2: it makes me feel alone, rejected, dirty, abandoned, and betrayed.

83
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,440
Speaker 2: Does that make me a bad Christian, a bad girlfriend,

84
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,840
Speaker 2: a bad potential wife. I have the feeling I may

85
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,160
Speaker 2: very well be the a whole. I am not entitled

86
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,840
Speaker 2: to any other person's body. It is just really painful

87
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,200
Speaker 2: to hear that being intimate with me is seen as

88
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,000
Speaker 2: an act of violence against his body. I only ever

89
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,560
Speaker 2: wanted to love him. I feel disgusted to even be

90
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,040
Speaker 2: in my own body or to even still want to

91
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,600
Speaker 2: have spicy sleep with him, based on how he views it. Now,

92
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,560
Speaker 2: if I am the able, please try to be nice

93
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 2: to me about it. I'm always interested in learning and

94
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 2: growing and becoming better. I'm just hurting really badly right now.

95
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,960
Speaker 2: Edit more context for the situation. He was going off,

96
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:19,960
Speaker 2: how homo spicy relations are wrong because the Bible says

97
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,640
Speaker 2: man shall not lay with man. Then I said, I

98
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,040
Speaker 2: think it's wild that this wasn't even in the Bible

99
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,560
Speaker 2: until nineteen forty six, but has always been explicit in

100
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,479
Speaker 2: pre marital spicy sleep being wrong. So why are you

101
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,599
Speaker 2: passing away on the related tale? And he said that

102
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,120
Speaker 2: he had actually been praying about us having pre marital

103
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,320
Speaker 2: spicy sleep, and that because I brought it up, it

104
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,080
Speaker 2: was divine intervention and an answer to a prayer, and said,

105
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,839
Speaker 2: spicy related intimacy is off the table now edit number two.

106
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 2: We talked in great detail about the way it made

107
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,360
Speaker 2: me feel. He was very calm and composed and treated

108
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,840
Speaker 2: me with a lot of love and compassion. However, he

109
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,520
Speaker 2: also said things like I was being delusional. You're not

110
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,919
Speaker 2: the victim. You're taking it too personally, and it's not

111
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,839
Speaker 2: about you. Just for more context, I guess that's not loving,

112
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,560
Speaker 2: that's not compassion. Yeah, he's blaming you. We're having very

113
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,080
Speaker 2: valid thoughts and feelings about wanting spicy sleep in your life.

114
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, relationship, right, I know. I think that's like

115
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,279
Speaker 4: the saddest part about it is that like he is

116
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,040
Speaker 4: suddenly having this relationship or this like realization of what

117
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,240
Speaker 4: he wants to do to feel better, and he's just

118
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,000
Speaker 4: projecting that on you on you like it's it's so

119
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,279
Speaker 4: not fair for you guys to both be like on

120
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 4: the same page about this thing that's like seen as

121
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,560
Speaker 4: sinful and also in some.

122
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,599
Speaker 2: Eyes, yeah, very consensual part of your relationship, it seems. Yeah.

123
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,480
Speaker 2: And then like all of a sudden, he's just like, no,

124
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,279
Speaker 2: I can't, that's bad and you should feel bad too

125
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,480
Speaker 2: for being that way, And it's like, who wha, whoa,

126
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,599
Speaker 2: We're on different tracks here, man, we can't all have

127
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,960
Speaker 2: the same realization at the same time. Exactly. He's having

128
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,239
Speaker 2: this huge like dump of religious guilts for some reason

129
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,039
Speaker 2: or another yeah, and is yeah, putting that on you

130
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,600
Speaker 2: is not your problem at all. And also that the

131
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,320
Speaker 2: wording of like, oh, you've committed like violence against my

132
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,960
Speaker 2: body guy is so aggressive, Like you had a consensual

133
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,919
Speaker 2: relationship that you now feel guilty for because of your religion.

134
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:04,840
Speaker 2: That's on you.

135
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,359
Speaker 4: And if this is like a consensual relationship and suddenly

136
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,520
Speaker 4: it's violence against your body, why is it not violence

137
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,440
Speaker 4: against her body too?

138
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,400
Speaker 2: Like why why is she the only one that's guilty.

139
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,880
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, you've tempted me, That's what he's like.

140
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it feels like the Eve to the Atom

141
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,880
Speaker 2: kind of temptations. So many things wrong with this update.

142
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,800
Speaker 2: I realized I didn't give you guys the best context

143
00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,760
Speaker 2: on the original post. Our relationship has only been fifty

144
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,279
Speaker 2: percent spicy sleep and fifty percent talking slash watching movies

145
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,159
Speaker 2: on the TV for the past six months. So taking

146
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,800
Speaker 2: away spicy sleep without saying he was going to supplement

147
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,400
Speaker 2: it with anything, Yeah, I had a big reaction in

148
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,320
Speaker 2: the six hour conversation we had. I remember, I kept saying,

149
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 2: but it's all we do in relationship to him taking

150
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,600
Speaker 2: away spicy sleep, I knew it was a pathetic thing

151
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,200
Speaker 2: for a relationship, and I'm embarrassed to even tell anyone

152
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,200
Speaker 2: about it. We've been on two dates in the last

153
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,480
Speaker 2: six months, which is on par for how frequently we

154
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:59,159
Speaker 2: would go on date me the healthiest of relationships. Maybe

155
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 2: this is just a good if Spicy Colley quit. Yeah,

156
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,440
Speaker 2: if spicy sleep is all you do and you never

157
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,680
Speaker 2: go on any dates, and now he's making you feel

158
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,240
Speaker 2: guilty for everything. So I took a couple of days

159
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,520
Speaker 2: of barely responding to him before I laid out my

160
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,360
Speaker 2: terms if we are to continue. During the time we

161
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,160
Speaker 2: barely spoke, he texted me a couple of times, saying

162
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,040
Speaker 2: how badly he wanted to work it out and that

163
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,120
Speaker 2: he wanted me to talk about my feelings with him.

164
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,120
Speaker 2: I told him that if we are to continue, I

165
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,080
Speaker 2: have four terms, non spicy related intimacy kissing, cuddling, and

166
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 2: holding hands, but also intentional intimacy exercises like eye gazing,

167
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,760
Speaker 2: going out on dates. He does tons of things with

168
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,840
Speaker 2: his family and friends from church, and I want to

169
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,160
Speaker 2: be included. I want to have dates like every other couple,

170
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:44,400
Speaker 2: both alone and with other people. Never use the Bible

171
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,680
Speaker 2: to control me, not what I eat, not what I wear,

172
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,800
Speaker 2: how I should think, how I should act. Checking me

173
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,480
Speaker 2: with the Bible is fine, but never an immediate demand

174
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,920
Speaker 2: for change. Get tested with the frequency of which we

175
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,640
Speaker 2: had spicy sleep and his absolute drive to f I

176
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,920
Speaker 2: just want to know when STD wasn't the reason, it

177
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,760
Speaker 2: would have always been a doubt in my mind, and

178
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,920
Speaker 2: I didn't want to have doubts moving forward. This was

179
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,880
Speaker 2: by far the riskiest ask, but a very important one,

180
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,960
Speaker 2: because that's a really I didn't even think about that,

181
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,800
Speaker 2: I mean neither. Yeah, it's like, maybe that's why he

182
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,120
Speaker 2: doesn't want to sleep with you. Maybe he agreed to

183
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,720
Speaker 2: the terms. What was pissed about the STD test? He

184
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,600
Speaker 2: said he would get one done today, but he's only

185
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,280
Speaker 2: texted me once today, so who knows? Which brings me

186
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,600
Speaker 2: to why I posted again. He is mad at me.

187
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 2: All he wanted was to work everything out and to

188
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,480
Speaker 2: talk before I stayed to my terms, But after he

189
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,600
Speaker 2: was short with me and noticeably angry. His replies got

190
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,840
Speaker 2: less frequent. Now he doesn't know what to do about

191
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,040
Speaker 2: a relationship. He's praying about it. He started devaluing me

192
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,480
Speaker 2: last night, saying he feels numb, that he's honestly over it.

193
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,360
Speaker 2: That the way I talked to him, looked at him

194
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,240
Speaker 2: and treated him or not where his wife would. He said,

195
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,320
Speaker 2: it's obvious that I don't respect him or love him,

196
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,720
Speaker 2: and that now he doesn't know what to do. I

197
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,160
Speaker 2: panic when he said this, and I started to try

198
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,800
Speaker 2: to talk to him about it. He responded way after

199
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 2: I went to bed with only sleep well talk tomorrow.

200
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,160
Speaker 2: Then this morning he said good morning, I love you,

201
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,880
Speaker 2: which was honestly not what I was expecting. I texted

202
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,040
Speaker 2: him back thirty minutes later, good morning, I love you,

203
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,600
Speaker 2: and he read that but never replied. Be for real,

204
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,440
Speaker 2: am I being manipulated? And if so, what the heck

205
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,240
Speaker 2: am I being manipulated into? Because I feel like I

206
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,839
Speaker 2: have no idea what's happening? Edit other information. As him

207
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,440
Speaker 2: as a person, he swears a lot. I do too,

208
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,760
Speaker 2: but that's also technically a sin, so why not stop

209
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,720
Speaker 2: that too. It took me five months to get him

210
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,920
Speaker 2: from saying the full N word with the hard R

211
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,839
Speaker 2: when referring to black people. Now he just calls them

212
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,520
Speaker 2: N words, like literally says N word in place of

213
00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,920
Speaker 2: the word in the sentence Oh believe him, Oh, oh

214
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,960
Speaker 2: you really buried the lead. That's that's a dude. Leave him.

215
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,160
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Oh I'm sorry. He's a good Christian. No,

216
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:47,480
Speaker 2: he's a he's a bigot. Yight, that's a that's a

217
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,800
Speaker 2: big turn, big big detail, big big detail to leave

218
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:56,880
Speaker 2: till the end. Yeah. Oh he's and just the three

219
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,839
Speaker 2: and one. Yeah. He made me watch the documentary What

220
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,400
Speaker 2: as a Woman, which was just effing, painfully stupid in

221
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,120
Speaker 2: my opinion. Out of the blue, he said that I

222
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,599
Speaker 2: had to believe pregnancy termination is wrong or he was

223
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,800
Speaker 2: going to end the relationship immediately. Why are you with

224
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,520
Speaker 2: this head? Why are you with this terrible, terrible man?

225
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,199
Speaker 2: After days of fighting about it, I lied and told

226
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 2: him what he wanted to hear. Why are we in

227
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,160
Speaker 2: a relationship with someone we have to lie to? I

228
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,920
Speaker 2: never get a pregnancy termination, so it wouldn't matter in

229
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,760
Speaker 2: our relationship. But I still very much believe that individuals

230
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,280
Speaker 2: who can get pregnant have the inherent right to determine

231
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,640
Speaker 2: whether they want to terminate or not. He has two

232
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,319
Speaker 2: sleeve tattoos and is also balding lol. Edit two. He

233
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,520
Speaker 2: found my original post. He's very mad at the title,

234
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,880
Speaker 2: but did not debate anything I said. Up me too,

235
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:42,040
Speaker 2: so I broke out with him. Woooo yes, great, that

236
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,520
Speaker 2: bit is trash. You guys were the only thing that

237
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,559
Speaker 2: allowed me to have the courage to do so. He

238
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,240
Speaker 2: didn't react and didn't really care. And the more I

239
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,480
Speaker 2: think about it, the more I truly believe he is

240
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:56,079
Speaker 2: self absorbed person. Talking about the DSM diagnosis, I was

241
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,560
Speaker 2: raised by my father, who was diagnosed with the same

242
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,840
Speaker 2: thing later in life when my parents were going through

243
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,679
Speaker 2: marriage counseling their divorce net. I think my upbringing had

244
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 2: a lot to do with how well all of my

245
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,120
Speaker 2: ex's tactics worked on me. Yeah, that makes sense. It

246
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,280
Speaker 2: was familiar to be with him because he reminded me

247
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 2: so much of my dad. I didn't claw it, though,

248
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 2: because he didn't do any of the things that my

249
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,480
Speaker 2: dad did. My ex took on the role of father,

250
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,320
Speaker 2: which he knew I craved. I wanted someone to fix

251
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 2: things for me, a rock, to rely on, someone to

252
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,040
Speaker 2: protect me and keep me safe. He played into all

253
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,079
Speaker 2: of this to hook me and keep me hooked. I

254
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,719
Speaker 2: so desperately wanted to feel taken care of that I

255
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,920
Speaker 2: was willing to sacrifice my individuality. His mask only started

256
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,319
Speaker 2: to slip when I started to fight for my individuality

257
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 2: and call out his ridiculousness. When I fought for it

258
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,800
Speaker 2: and called out is bs, he punished me by taking

259
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,959
Speaker 2: away spicy sleep. He knew it was important to me

260
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,679
Speaker 2: because it was the only way that him and I

261
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,320
Speaker 2: connected over anything meaningful. And if I was no longer

262
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,079
Speaker 2: going to boost his ego by ignoring his discrepancies and

263
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,640
Speaker 2: by being more afraid to lose him than to lose myself,

264
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,679
Speaker 2: than he was going to take something away from me too.

265
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,240
Speaker 2: There's a lot of cognitive dissonance that remains. At one point,

266
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:01,320
Speaker 2: there was nothing but love and admiration from him, reciption, communication,

267
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,040
Speaker 2: and desire to meet my needs. I realize now that

268
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,960
Speaker 2: all of that was transactional. I treat him like a god,

269
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,600
Speaker 2: and he gives me what I want to be loved, cherished, protected.

270
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 2: When I don't treat him like he turns the ground

271
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,160
Speaker 2: to gold as he walks on it. By having a complaint,

272
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 2: he shows me just how replaceable and meaningless I am

273
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,319
Speaker 2: to him. I still love him and I definitely miss him.

274
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,480
Speaker 2: I'm not sure why I love him or miss him,

275
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,400
Speaker 2: being that there wasn't a lot of substance in the

276
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,000
Speaker 2: relationship to begin with. I'm afraid to start over at

277
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:32,200
Speaker 2: my age twenty six female. Oh, girl, you are very young. Yeah,

278
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,000
Speaker 2: you're good, You are fine. Yeah. He made me believe

279
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,640
Speaker 2: that he was my last shot at being able to

280
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,079
Speaker 2: have a husband. Whoa girl, I mean, I'm assuming that

281
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 2: you live in a small town or somewhere in the south. Yeah,

282
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,200
Speaker 2: I'm growing up Christian. Yeah, I'm growing up religious too.

283
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:48,000
Speaker 4: You got time, Like you can have kids for so long,

284
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,160
Speaker 4: and like thirty five is like when people get a

285
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 4: little worried for like you know exactly, like health and

286
00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:53,120
Speaker 4: stuff like that.

287
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,760
Speaker 2: But like you still have kids at the time and

288
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,840
Speaker 2: past it and stuff. So you're good at twenty six, girl,

289
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,760
Speaker 2: you've got at least a decade, agreed, at least. Umm.

290
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,200
Speaker 2: He made me believe that he was my last shot

291
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,800
Speaker 2: at being able to have a husband and a family

292
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,120
Speaker 2: before I'm too old to conceive. When I was twenty five,

293
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,560
Speaker 2: he told me that women become exponentially more undesirable after

294
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:18,160
Speaker 2: twenty four. This man, Leonardo DiCaprio, HM, which is stuck

295
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,440
Speaker 2: with me for a year. That's girl, that's not true.

296
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,079
Speaker 2: I desperately want a family. I didn't have love in

297
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,160
Speaker 2: my childhood because my household was all about manipulation and control.

298
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,079
Speaker 2: I don't really know who I am without him. It

299
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,760
Speaker 2: does feel like I'm worthless now that I'm alone. That

300
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,200
Speaker 2: was hard to being able to accept the new identity

301
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,880
Speaker 2: of single. I'm moving forward, desperate to move on. I'm

302
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,960
Speaker 2: afraid to begin living a life again with no one

303
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,599
Speaker 2: to fall back on. Samhow during the relationship, I have

304
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,600
Speaker 2: isolated myself from my friends and family, So I really

305
00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,280
Speaker 2: am starting over alone now. I was complicit in all

306
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,600
Speaker 2: of it. I have lots of shame and embarrassment from

307
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,360
Speaker 2: the relationship that I allowed that for myself. But you're

308
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,760
Speaker 2: allowed to listen to full episodes of stories just like this.

309
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,160
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search

310
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,560
Speaker 2: a pokest story time. There is a little bit left

311
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,080
Speaker 2: to the story. Yeah, but do you have any final thoughts.

312
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,559
Speaker 2: I'm just glad that she's out of there.

313
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,200
Speaker 4: Me too, Glad that you're out of the opie, Glad

314
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,599
Speaker 4: that you're realizing all of this stuff, because all of

315
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,120
Speaker 4: these this like shame and guilt that he put on

316
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,360
Speaker 4: you so not true. Oh the fact that he said

317
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,320
Speaker 4: that thing about being twenty four when you turn twenty

318
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,680
Speaker 4: five it's like, are you so you're just telling me

319
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,800
Speaker 4: now that I'm undesirable about something that I cannot change,

320
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 4: which is my aging.

321
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,440
Speaker 2: Like what? And also twenty five is like so young.

322
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 4: Young, So it's like what, he's gonna still grow older

323
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,160
Speaker 4: and still won't day anyone under twenty four.

324
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,800
Speaker 2: Certainly I've got one year of desirability left. You can

325
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:43,160
Speaker 2: get on at it quickly. Dude. No, that's just that's crazy.

326
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 2: Glad she's out of there, she'll realize how much better

327
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,720
Speaker 2: off she is. Absolutely, absolutely, but there is a little

328
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,080
Speaker 2: bit left. He is a bigot, and I told him

329
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,600
Speaker 2: as much when I broke up with them. For me,

330
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 2: it is not an option to raise children in a

331
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,640
Speaker 2: home environment that I had. It ft me out for life,

332
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,920
Speaker 2: and I've and through years of therapy already. I knew

333
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,800
Speaker 2: something was up when I wrote my first post. That

334
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 2: situation was the first time is mask really slipped. Thank

335
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 2: you all so much for helping a stranger that needed it.

336
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,240
Speaker 2: All of you posted. I hope you get loads of

337
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,880
Speaker 2: good karma and all of the blessings. I am afraid

338
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,120
Speaker 2: to be alone, but you all helped me realize that

339
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 2: feeling lonely for a little while is the only option

340
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,720
Speaker 2: I have if I want to get out alive. Thank you,

341
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,480
Speaker 2: and I love you all. It is my sincere hope

342
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,440
Speaker 2: that each one of you also receives the help you

343
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 2: need from a stranger whenever you need it most. And

344
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,240
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story. My fiance cheated

345
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,840
Speaker 2: on me while I'm still grieving, so I ended our engagement.

346
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:40,040
Speaker 2: Yeah that's over. Yep. I, thirty female, broke up with

347
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,680
Speaker 2: my fiance, thirty male today. I don't know where to begin,

348
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 2: but I'm not hurting. I'm disappointed, frustrated, maybe even irritated.

349
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,000
Speaker 2: We had been together for three and a half years

350
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,560
Speaker 2: and it was a rough but incredible time. He taught

351
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,200
Speaker 2: me to trust, to love and open up. He showed

352
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,840
Speaker 2: me not all men were By the way, this comes

353
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 2: from Unfiltered Page V and if you want to say

354
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 2: met your own stories, good at the r slash okay

355
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,600
Speaker 2: storytime separate it. So, however, I have ADHD and I

356
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 2: was unmedicated at the time that we started dating. I

357
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,640
Speaker 2: didn't know how to handle being over threshold or how

358
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 2: to communicate or let myself feel emotions. I got help,

359
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,880
Speaker 2: was medicated and went to cognitive behavioral therapy. Things went

360
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 2: great until he mentioned a female friend that he had

361
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 2: never mentioned before. He would say things like, we've vibed

362
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 2: so well, we think the same. We talked for hours,

363
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:31,920
Speaker 2: which kind of bothered me. Yeah, talk for hours. Yeah,

364
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,960
Speaker 2: it's a little suspicious.

365
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,160
Speaker 4: Anyways, I asked to meet this girl, so we started

366
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 4: talking and she came to help us clear out a

367
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 4: hoarder's house. Okay, I'm talking biohazard level, you know what.

368
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,240
Speaker 4: She shows up in Daisy Duke's with her cheeks out

369
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 4: and a crop top.

370
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 2: YEP.

371
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,120
Speaker 4: I was uncomfortable. She faked nice, and when he got there,

372
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 4: I was ignored. They even left to do dump runs,

373
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,360
Speaker 4: leaving me alone. Then once she got my okay, she

374
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 4: had suddenly stopped communicating with me, so I told him

375
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,720
Speaker 4: that this made me uncomfortable. He started hanging with her

376
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,360
Speaker 4: behind my back and lying about it. He got caught

377
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 4: and we kind of worked through it.

378
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:06,639
Speaker 2: Now.

379
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,160
Speaker 4: Fast forward three years in and just over one month

380
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 4: after I lost to my dad. We battled that hard

381
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 4: and we took care of dad together.

382
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,399
Speaker 2: I'm a daddy's girl. We were always very close. He

383
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 2: goes to a ceremony, meets someone, and I get a

384
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 2: text at twelve forty am. I'm on my way home. Well,

385
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:22,879
Speaker 2: he lied.

386
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 4: He didn't come home and into bed until five a m.

387
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,120
Speaker 4: He spent all night in a car with another female.

388
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,560
Speaker 4: She massaged his hand. He gave her arm tickles and

389
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,639
Speaker 4: offered to tickle her back. That mortified me.

390
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 2: To me, that's cheating. I beg for back tickles.

391
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 4: It's something that I've had since childhood, something that my

392
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,240
Speaker 4: dad used to do when I couldn't sleep. He expressed

393
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,520
Speaker 4: how much she got him, and that she was on

394
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 4: the same wavelength and filled certain cups I don't with,

395
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,160
Speaker 4: spiritual and philosophical. He went on and on and said

396
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,119
Speaker 4: that he didn't want to lose this connection. So I

397
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 4: felt pressured into agreeing to open our relationship up so

398
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,200
Speaker 4: that he could explore it.

399
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 2: He happened, he did. We all went out one night

400
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 2: and they both went for a smoke in his carb

401
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 2: because it was freezing outside. I said I was okay

402
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,440
Speaker 2: with it, but begged them not to be long and

403
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 2: to not forget me.

404
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 4: They left me in that twenty four hour diner for

405
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 4: an hour, a freaking hour. I lost it, respectfully.

406
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 2: I went home after I gave them heck and he

407
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,000
Speaker 2: didn't come home for almost forty five minutes. I realized

408
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,040
Speaker 2: I was not going to be manipulated into this and

409
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,920
Speaker 2: told him that I'm done and that I was not

410
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 2: okay with his affair. He freaked out, blocked her and

411
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 2: chose me. Well, it's been five months since then, and

412
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 2: I couldn't let it go. You shouldn't. He didn't choose

413
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,120
Speaker 2: know you. He just got you know, scared that you're

414
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 2: gonna leave him like that? He Yeah, he freaking like

415
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 2: betrayed you already.

416
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, he wanted you there as safety for having someone

417
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,200
Speaker 4: when he's not getting booty called, and now that he

418
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 4: doesn't have his default, then he's he's scared.

419
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he doesn't get booty called every day. Yikes.

420
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,639
Speaker 2: After some serious soul searching, self love, and discovery, I

421
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 2: realized I'm worth more than that. I can't just let

422
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 2: it go or forgive him for what he has done,

423
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 2: especially when I was at my lowest. I was in

424
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,160
Speaker 2: a really bad place. I couldn't get out of bed,

425
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 2: I stopped eating, I was crying every day over my

426
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 2: dad passing, and this man that I loved so much

427
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 2: goes and lets himself have an emotional affair. He had

428
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 2: the balls to manipulate me into opening up our relationship

429
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 2: and tell me, well, you talked about doing this before too,

430
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 2: to which I replied, not till we were in a

431
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 2: better place. I was done. I was struggling to be

432
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 2: intimate with him and was honestly enjoying my time away

433
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 2: from him more than with him. Yesterday I brought up

434
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 2: that we needed counseling, that I can't let it go,

435
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 2: and that I one hundred percent can't and don't trust

436
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 2: him with women. He was wounded and became extra loving,

437
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 2: doing nice things for me, etc. This morning, he tried

438
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 2: waking me up with spicy sleep. Oh but that's no

439
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: consensual No, no, no, no, consensual no. I panicked instantly,

440
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 2: My heart began to beat out of my chest, and

441
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,639
Speaker 2: every muscle in my body became tense. It took me

442
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 2: thirty seconds to say please, don't, I can't do this,

443
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 2: to which he got up and stormed out. When he

444
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 2: came back, I said what the f was that. He

445
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 2: said he went for a smoke and that he was

446
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 2: upset because spicy sleep was one of the best ways

447
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 2: that we connected and that he wanted the end to

448
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 2: be the best versus it ending badly? What so is

449
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 2: he thinking like we're gonna end our relationships, so might

450
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 2: as well like sleep together at the end of it.

451
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 2: I have no idea, but like, that's so not okay,

452
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 2: so not okay at all levels. I knew by my

453
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,199
Speaker 2: reaction to him that I was checked out. He argued

454
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 2: that it's sad that I'm going to throw away three

455
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 2: years of an amazing relationship over one thing. I laughed,

456
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 2: actually laughed, and coldly replied, Yeah, that one thing was

457
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 2: you cheating on me one month after my dad passed away. Yeah,

458
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 2: that's so small. Maybe if it was before my dad

459
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 2: passed away, just maybe I could work through it. But

460
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 2: I can't, not right now, not when you stole my

461
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 2: grief from me. Anything can be one thing if you

462
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 2: kind of label it under an umbrella term. You know, mmm,

463
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 2: it's like, no, this has been going on for one month.

464
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 2: It's not one thing. Yeah, it's just one person, right right, You're.

465
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 4: Calling cheating one thing. Ye're going getting in the car

466
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 4: could be another thing. Ye driving to the house could

467
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 4: be another thing. Talking could be another thing.

468
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

469
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 4: It's like and even if it was one thing, then

470
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 4: why like sure, end it like, that's fine. I need

471
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 4: to focus on healing my heart from the loss of

472
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 4: my dad, and I can't do that when I'm fixated

473
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 4: on us. So my question is am I the a

474
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 4: hole for breaking up?

475
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 2: No? For this, absolutely not, because.

476
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 4: Of how many amazing times we had and how sad

477
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 4: and devastated he is over this.

478
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 2: He's been crying. I haven't cried once.

479
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 4: I feel so guilty and like a crappy person for

480
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 4: giving up on us. But I can't be with someone

481
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,880
Speaker 4: who carelessly hurts me when I'm already drowning in pain.

482
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 4: We also don't want the same things in life. I

483
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 4: hope this wasn't too crazy. I'm going on no sleep

484
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:51,160
Speaker 4: and ADHD, over threshold, overthinking brain and there are some comments,

485
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 4: but no, not the ahle.

486
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 2: He's terrible. He sucks. Yeah, does cheat it on you.

487
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: It does not matter what he's feeling. If you're like

488
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 2: a where that you don't want to be like manipulated

489
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 2: into this, then it's like that. That's a big way

490
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: that people manipulate is you get mad at them and

491
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,879
Speaker 2: then they're all like no, no, I'm so sad, and

492
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 2: then you're like, oh, I don't want to see him sad. Yeah,

493
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 2: and then you get back together and then it's like, well, no,

494
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,719
Speaker 2: because you are still upset. You were like, even if

495
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 2: you're not crying, he'd still be upset about this and

496
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 2: still have this as a reason to leave him. Exactly.

497
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 4: So. There are some comments, though comment number one says, no,

498
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 4: not the a hole. You do not need justification to

499
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 4: withdraw from a relationship that doesn't work for you. Here's

500
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 4: why it doesn't work for you. I can't be with

501
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 4: someone who carelessly hurts me. We also don't want the

502
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 4: same things in life. Just for a minute, did you

503
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 4: consider the possibility that your ex chose you because you

504
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 4: were vulnerable, strategically got you to trust him, and once

505
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 4: he felt confident with your love and trust, then he

506
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 4: did the bait and switch, revealing his shady, cheating side

507
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 4: in the hopes that he could gauge how much crap

508
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 4: you'd be willing to accept. Yeah, he may have tried

509
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 4: to manipulate you into another harmful relationship going forward. When

510
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 4: your partner's mask slip, pay attention on the positive side.

511
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 4: Your therapist sounds great and you are responding well to therapy.

512
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 4: Best of lug to a better future and OPI responds,

513
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 4: I never even closely thought of it this way. Now

514
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 4: I can't think of it in any other way. He

515
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 4: also said this to me context First, I want a baby.

516
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 2: I'm ready.

517
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 4: I'm a homeowner, financially stable, all on my own. He

518
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 4: didn't contribute a dime, and he said that he's not ready.

519
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 4: So after months of discussion, I realize I can have

520
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 4: a baby with or without him, and I told him this,

521
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 4: I have to do IVF anyway. He understood this, so

522
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 4: come yesterday he said the most ignorant thing ever. That

523
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,360
Speaker 4: shocks my sister and her husband so much and myself.

524
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,719
Speaker 2: Well, if we break up and say, in the future

525
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 2: find our ways back, I will not raise another man's child.

526
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 2: That's so funny, because you're not coming back. Doesn't matter

527
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 2: either way. Don't worry. You're never going to raise another

528
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 2: man's child. Uh with me? So I was like, why

529
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 2: the f not? We were about to foster fifteen year

530
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: old together, So why would me having a baby through

531
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 2: IVF on my own with the support of my sailing

532
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: be an issue? And he said, oh, don't you lied

533
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 2: to me and tell me you don't use someone else's

534
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 2: baby juice, or if you don't. Who knows what kind

535
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 2: of psycho donor you may use. I just stared in disbelief,

536
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 2: and I said, donor agencies are a thorough in their checks.

537
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: He said, I don't care. I refuse to raise another

538
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: man's child, so I won't help you raise it if

539
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 2: it's not mine. And I said, then we have no future.

540
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 2: He said, well we do. I just won't raise it.

541
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 2: It's like, oh my god, oh my god. Ah, like

542
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 2: talking at circles, like talking to a wall.

543
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is like trying to have a conversation, have

544
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 4: an argument with a frog, and they can't respond.

545
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 2: They like, they just can't understand you. They can rip

546
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: it all they want, but they're not making any sense.

547
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 2: No matter how hard you kiss them. They ain't turned

548
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 2: into a prince. Not not at all. No, no, no, yeah,

549
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: this is oh my god, oh my god. Guy's a nightmare. Absolutely,

550
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 2: And we do have an update, but into it because

551
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 2: I've got to it. My only thought is stay broken up. Yeah,

552
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 2: I just stay out of there.

553
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

554
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 2: So I found out recently that he unblocked and messaged

555
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 2: the woman that he had the affair with.

556
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 4: Shocking, not surprised. Just two days after I broke up

557
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 4: with him. Yeah, I was devoid of any other emotion

558
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 4: except anger.

559
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 2: I was also in the process of giving him our

560
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: dog for his three days off work, so I brought

561
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 2: it up. He literally just said, well, we're separated, so

562
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: why does it matter if I message her? But it's

563
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 2: like it only proves that he's shady and that he

564
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 2: had intentionally cheated. On a funny note, she not only

565
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 2: rejected him, but she kind of owned him with her rejection.

566
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 4: Then she sent me a screenshot to show me. That's

567
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 4: fun getting the girls to okay team up. He told

568
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 4: her that I made him block her and that we

569
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 4: dissolved our partnership. Lol, whatever that means.

570
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: He also gets mad at me when I tell the

571
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 2: truth about why I dumped him. He doesn't want people

572
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 2: to know that he cheated. You shouldn't have cheated, buddy.

573
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 4: Not her problem. He wants me to say that it's

574
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,880
Speaker 4: amicable that we dissolved it. I'm like, Nope, if I'm

575
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 4: asked why we broke up, I'm telling the truth. I'm

576
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 4: not lying to protect your butt. He was very angry

577
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 4: with me, but I just said to him, how you

578
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 4: react to your actions is not my problem. That's a

579
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 4: great life, freaking bars man that he ruined this and

580
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 4: threw it all away for an affair. And I don't

581
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 4: see why I have to sugarcoat it for his feelings.

582
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 4: He never considered my feelings anyways. Today he meant up

583
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 4: to pick up our dog, and he surprised my nephew,

584
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 4: who loves him. However, my nephew is extremely smart and

585
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 4: his thought process and understanding of things is that of

586
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 4: an adult.

587
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: Um.

588
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 4: And you know what I understand is that we've got

589
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 4: full episodes with more stories just like this one on Spotify.

590
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio Apple Podcast, one of your favorite podcast app is

591
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 2: It's true. Okay, story time, It's the truth. It's the truth. Yeah,

592
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 2: and there's a little bit more into this story. But

593
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 2: I want her to keep the dog, me too, don't him,

594
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 2: don't share that dog with him, want him to have

595
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: any custody of that dog. No custody. Brocs can't take

596
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 2: care of dogs. That's what they say, rhyme. So it's true. Yeah,

597
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 2: you know, too little, too little, But there's a little

598
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: bit more to the story. Let's read it, wrap it up.

599
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 2: My ex made a comment to me when I asked

600
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,239
Speaker 2: him to help my nephew and he said, isn't there

601
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 2: a magic word that you should say?

602
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 4: I rolled my eyes and went to do it myself.

603
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 4: My nephew then said, well, you didn't say please when

604
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 4: you hurt my aunts.

605
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 2: You with that other girl, so why does she have

606
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 2: to say please to you? Oh dude?

607
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 4: Owned?

608
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: Oh wowe and owned by a freaking nephew who I'm

609
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 2: going to. I don't know how, but I'm gonna guess

610
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 2: and hope he's like nine, Yeah, me too. I hope

611
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: that that would be great. Oh my gosh. My sister

612
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 2: and I started choking back laughter and my ex paled

613
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 2: and didn't say a word. He just sold, I'm sure

614
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 2: this won't be the last update.

615
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 4: And he's trying to win me back by trying to

616
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 4: get me jealous or reel me back in with random

617
00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 4: deeds in crap.

618
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 2: But that's the end of the story. Don't follow for it, No,

619
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 2: don't follow for it. Ah.

620
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 4: I'm kind of confused because they were engaged, they weren't

621
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 4: married yet, and they don't have kids, So I'm like,

622
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 4: why is she still in contact?

623
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah with the dog? Maybe for the dog, but

624
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 2: I don't know. Figure that out, man, I wanted being

625
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,880
Speaker 2: in contact Yeah, she's gotta be like the Nile girl

626
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: in Legally Blonde. Yeah, I'm taking the dog. I'm taking

627
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: the dog dumb ash. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. But it's

628
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 2: the end. Yeah, that is the end of that story.

629
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

630
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 2: Here.

631
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

632
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My wife wants my

633
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: daughter gone, so I gave her an ultimatum.

634
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 2: Do I want your wife gone? Yeah?

635
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: Hey, Reddit, I forty three male, have been with my

636
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: current wife, Amanda forty two female, for the past six

637
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 1: years and we have two daughters, Becca four and Eliza two,

638
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: while I have two kids from my previous marriage as well,

639
00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: Liam seventeen male and Sage fifteen. By the way, this

640
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: comes from user purpose of Doom and if you want

641
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

642
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: Okay storytime sub bred it trigger warning children boxing. The

643
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: divorce was less than amicable, and since my ex wife

644
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: had more money in a better paying job, she was

645
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: awarded primary custody, despite me fighting for it. For the

646
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: past eight years, I've only had my older kids every

647
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: other weekend and on Wednesdays. A few weeks ago, my

648
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: older kids asked if they could live with us full

649
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: time due to issues with their step dad. Liam especially

650
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: had come to blows with him a few times, and

651
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: even their mother thought it would be for the best.

652
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: I did talk to my wife about it, and I

653
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: know she wasn't happy, as she feels uncomfortable around my

654
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 1: older kids, although this is something she neglected to tell

655
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: me until we had our first child together. Things since

656
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: Liam and Sage moved in have been hard, and as

657
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: much as I'd love to get some family therapy, my

658
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: wife is against it and we're on a waiting list. Before,

659
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: when my kids would come over, my wife would take

660
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: our daughters to her parents a lot to give us space,

661
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: even though I never asked her to do it. Now,

662
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, I'm sure being a step parent

663
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: is difficult, but my kids are really good kids. They

664
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: have straight a's, they have lots of friends, they play sports,

665
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: and are incredibly respectful. I know I'm biased, but people

666
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: go out of their way to tell me these things.

667
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: So it's been terrible watching Amanda nitpick everything they do.

668
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: It's almost as if she's waiting for them to slip

669
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 1: up so she can send them back to their moms.

670
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: We had already gotten into an argument over the holidays

671
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: due to her trying to push them out of our traditions.

672
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 1: Our older daughter, Becca is going through a biting phase.

673
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: Her school wants her to get occupational therapy, and I've

674
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: been working with our insurance since Amanda doesn't like the

675
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: one at the school, but always it seems like there's

676
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: an endless wait list. So obviously the house is tense

677
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: and we've all been walking on eggshells. Then yesterday morning,

678
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 1: when I was making us some breakfast, we heard a

679
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: scream and Becca came into the kitchen crying, saying that

680
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: Sage hit her. Amanda ran into the den where Liam

681
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: and Sage were and started screaming at them to leave,

682
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: obviously pissed, but Sage told her she was sorry. She

683
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: had been done with the TV so had changed it

684
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: to one of the girls shows, and Becca got excited

685
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 1: and bit her. She said she didn't mean to slap

686
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: her and felt bad. Exactly it's a pain response like

687
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: she bit her, and she probably went, ah, yeah, also

688
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: like I got bit.

689
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, even if it was like a punch or

690
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 2: I don't know, even if there was actually like intent

691
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 2: behind it as long as it wasn't like they were

692
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 2: going at You don't tell a fourteen year old to

693
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 2: like get out of as to never leave, Like that's

694
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: a conversation where you're like, you know what you were like,

695
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: you parent them, you don't kick them out of the house.

696
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: So okay. I immediately calmed down after hearing that, because

697
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: I think anyone has been there, but Amanda didn't believe her.

698
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: Sage even had a bike mark. For God's sake, things

699
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: continued escalating and our girls were crying, and Amanda screamed

700
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: at both of my older kids to leave.

701
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: I would I'm sorry if someone was doing that to

702
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 2: my kids, I'd be like, don't speak to them that way.

703
00:31:59,520 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 2: It's true.

704
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 1: So it's like, this is where you need to be,

705
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 1: like in between them. Yet a no, you're way off

706
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: base here, that you're way out of line. These are

707
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: all of my children. Sage told her that she would

708
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: so she could calm down, and that pissed Amanda off

709
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: more at Sage is emotionally intelligent. Great Liam and Sage

710
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: left two friends and ended up spending the night there.

711
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: So for the past day, Amanda has been on one

712
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: saying I needed to pack their things and send them

713
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: back to my ex wife's house permanently. I can't keep

714
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: dealing with this bs. I told her this morning that

715
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: it was an accident and she needed to let it go,

716
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 1: but she's refusing, even threatening to call the police. She

717
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 1: said she could never be comfortable with her babies around

718
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: Sage anymore, and that she didn't feel safe. I laughed

719
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: because Amanda herself once hit beca for biting her. She

720
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: ended up taking the girls to her mom's and I

721
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: told my kids to come back. Amanda has been texting

722
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: me that she'll be back tomorrow and the kids needed

723
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: to be gone. I was ignoring her, but finally said

724
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: this was their home and if she was comfortable, she

725
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: could pack up and leave. My parents came over and

726
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: basically told me I wasn't wrong, but shouldn't have said

727
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 1: that she could leave. I know there are some things

728
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: you can take back, but at this point I almost

729
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: mean it. I would hate to deal with another divorce,

730
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: but Amanda has been so terrible to my older kids

731
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 1: these past few weeks. I honestly feel like she's become

732
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: a different person. And there's an edit to clarify. When

733
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: we had every other weekend plus Wednesday custody. My wife

734
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: would take the girls and her parents on Wednesdays only,

735
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: and I would take the youngest to dinner. Before we

736
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: had kids, she'd go to dinner, but our girls aren't

737
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: the best at restaurants. She would be here on weekends.

738
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: My son is not violent. His stepdad believed in violence

739
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: as a form of punishment, which I do not and

740
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: never did. But that's why they asked to live with me,

741
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: which is.

742
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: Another element of this peopling like, uh, absolutely not. They're

743
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 2: staying here.

744
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: Right because they don't feel safe there, and.

745
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 2: Now you know my stepmom is like making them feel

746
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 2: not safe here. It's that's terrible.

747
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: But a sage has gone from apologetic to fully devastated

748
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 1: about this. She offered to go back to her mom's

749
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 1: as long as Liam didn't have to, so I told

750
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: her that would never be necessary. She did not mean

751
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: to hit her sister, and Becca was incredibly upset about

752
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 1: biting her. We are working on it, but we are

753
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: a single income family and I cannot afford an occupational

754
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: therapist outside of my insurance, and I am probably going

755
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 1: to utilize the one at school though, despite what Amanda

756
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: has said, also our youngest was not planned, but things

757
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 1: seemed to be getting better, so we were excited. I

758
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: did get a little snip snap vasectomy after that, but

759
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: I love all my children and there's an update here. Edit.

760
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 1: Can everyone stop telling me to save text messages. I'm

761
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 1: not stupid, guys, I know that, and edit to I

762
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 1: do want to point something else out because I'm getting

763
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: attacked for it. I knew about Amanda's feelings after she

764
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 1: gave birth because we're a married couple, but my older

765
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: children did not. I even asked my kids if they

766
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: had felt unwelcome, and both emphatically have said that prior

767
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 1: to them moving in full time, they were under no

768
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 1: assumptions that Amanda felt anything but love for them. Oh.

769
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 2: I was trying to remember what the change was in

770
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 2: the past couple weeks, and it was that they moved

771
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 2: in full time.

772
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. They knew that when she had kids that they

773
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: would be her main focus since Liam and Sage mostly

774
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 1: lived at their moms, but didn't think her attitude towards

775
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,359
Speaker 1: them was off until they moved in. Yes, I did

776
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: emphasize they should be honest with me, and they said

777
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: they were, which is why everything that has been happening

778
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 1: lately is so devastating for them. All four of my

779
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 1: kids are okay with me, and Amanda is still at

780
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: her parents' house. My older two kids have told me

781
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,800
Speaker 1: some disturbing things that they've been feeling since moving in

782
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: full time. Took me a while to get it out

783
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 1: of them. They said they've been uneasy and it felt

784
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,879
Speaker 1: like if they put a single toe out of line,

785
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: they'd be forced to go back to their moms or

786
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,240
Speaker 1: be homeless. They've been trying to be good and perfect

787
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: and nice, and they're getting worn down by it. They

788
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 1: say they don't know what changed in Amanda, because she

789
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: used to love them and be kind to them, and

790
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: I don't have a good answer, but I told them

791
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: it wasn't their fault. My son said he's worried that

792
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:03,919
Speaker 1: she'll tell the younger ones lies about them or something else,

793
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 1: and they were uncomfortable being around the kids, even though

794
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: they loved them. My daughter again offered to move back

795
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: to her moms if Liam can stay, which broke my heart.

796
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,879
Speaker 1: Liam said they would live with my parents if they'd

797
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: have them, which hurt even more. I told them they

798
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: weren't going anywhere. They said they know how upset I

799
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: was after the divorce and don't want that. But I

800
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: told them repeatedly my marriage was not their problem to

801
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 1: worry about. Meanwhile, Amanda has been texting me non stop.

802
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: I've not been responding unless it was about Eliza and Becca.

803
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: She has said some incredibly cruel things about me, my

804
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 1: two older kids, and our relationship, basically telling me my

805
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 1: kids just want us to break up just like their stepdad,

806
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: and I shouldn't let them win.

807
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 2: Ma'am we're getting this from I just want to know

808
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:51,320
Speaker 2: it was from.

809
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: Where you get the audacity. I'd like to wherever you're

810
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: sourcing yours from, I'd like to get some I would text.

811
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't text her back, but if I

812
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 2: were to text back, and it'd be like, actually, they

813
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: want us to stay together.

814
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: I don't want. I don't want to be with them.

815
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: That's just a me problem with you now, Actually it's

816
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: a me problem.

817
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 2: Is a mean.

818
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 1: She called them my children spoiled and entitled and smart

819
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 1: alex who would ruin my life if I keep letting them.

820
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 1: I obviously ignored that. But between all this, she texted

821
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,760
Speaker 1: me a list that she wrote of her non negotiables

822
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 1: for her to move back in. They were all pretty deranged,

823
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: except one which did say she wanted cameras put up

824
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: in common areas, which I've already decided on and ordered.

825
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 1: But other than that, she demanded cutting Stage and Liam

826
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: out of the will as they will get money from

827
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: their mom, which is insane.

828
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 2: Also, I would like to it seems like single income household,

829
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 2: which like, why does she think she has any say

830
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: on where this money goes? She's not earning any of it.

831
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: And I think, again, this is just this really the

832
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: core of all this just feels like, well, these are

833
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: it's my kids versus those kids, and my kids have

834
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,839
Speaker 1: to win. So she demanded cutting them out of the will,

835
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: which is insane. And also it's not like we're talking

836
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: expecting to be able to leave much to anyone anyway.

837
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: The house is the one I had bought with my

838
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: ex wife. She wants to sell it and buy one

839
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 1: to start fresh. I want to point out that when

840
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: we got together, I told her I was definitely going

841
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 1: to be staying in this house until my kids went

842
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,399
Speaker 1: to college, since it's their childhood home and now it's

843
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: our girl's childhood home, so I won't be leaving they

844
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: would need to find somewhere else to live when they

845
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: turn eighteen. Also insane because she knows I think that's trashy,

846
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 1: and they turn eighteen in the middle of their senior years.

847
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: She did not want to have it to do anything

848
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: with my older kids, including family events, dinners, and vacations.

849
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: And yes, that would mean excluding my oldests from any

850
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: family vacations, pictures and all of that. She does not

851
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 1: want her our daughters around Sage or Liam. She wants

852
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: veto power over any extra time or money I'd be

853
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: spending on Sage and Liam to make sure things stay fair. Oh,

854
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: and probably the most deranged one of all was that

855
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: she wants half of the child support their mom is

856
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,760
Speaker 1: sending put into a retirement account in only her name divorce.

857
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: This woman is crazy, dude, did you just rolling out

858
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 1: a stupid town You think this guy's gonna do all

859
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: that after how you treated as kids?

860
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Is this like what she's asking for in

861
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 2: the divorce or is this her demands? This is just

862
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 2: her demand to be back.

863
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 1: In the house.

864
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 3: This is her coming back.

865
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what.

866
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,359
Speaker 3: You're like, Yeah, I can make these demands and he'll

867
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 3: he'll abide by them. Right.

868
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: I just can't. I can't even fathom being this completely

869
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 1: out of lif.

870
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 2: It's like if someone hits you with a baseball bat

871
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: and they leave and then they call you and they're like, hey.

872
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 3: I'm gonna need a new baseball bet.

873
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna need a new bit, Like, here are the

874
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 2: terms if you want me to come back, I need

875
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 2: a new basebell.

876
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 1: Yeah no, here's the terms if you want me to

877
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: come back after hitting you with the baseball bat.

878
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 2: One No helmets, Yeah yeah, no helmets, you can't run away. No.

879
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 1: Two zero protective gear whatsoever. Three glue all over the floors,

880
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: all of the floors except for my shoes. My shoes

881
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: are anti glue in no glue. Yeah yeah, that's what.

882
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 1: I need a new baseball bat.

883
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: All right? This is what this isy y.

884
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 1: Yea yea yea yeah, he need to hit you. It

885
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 1: was immature of me, but I just did the thing

886
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 1: to that text, and she sent some other bs text

887
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: to piss me off. So he just reacted to the

888
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 1: text message like with a little bubble, like didn't even respond.

889
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 2: Haha.

890
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: I talked to my father in law earlier today when

891
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: he picked up slash dropped off the younger girls from church.

892
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: He seemed annoyed with the whole situation and referred to

893
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: it as Amanda's little tantrum. Originally, the girls were going

894
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: to go home with them, but they threw a fit. Luckily,

895
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: I'm off work this week to be with them. The

896
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,720
Speaker 1: sad thing is that Sage and Liam have been avoiding

897
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 1: the younger girls, which is devastating for them. But I'm

898
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 1: trying to work on explaining everything right now. And by

899
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: the way, I'm going to explain right now that you

900
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: can listen to full episodes with stories just like this

901
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 1: on Spotify and iHeartRadio and Apple podcasts wherever you listen

902
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: to podcasts, just search okay story time, and there you

903
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 1: will find a proverbial El Dorado of story.

904
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 2: Magnificent.

905
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 3: Watch that's so good.

906
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 2: Okay, it's an amazing movie.

907
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 1: I love's not watching El Dorado would be incredible, of course, not.

908
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 3: The songs like I remember them yesterday.

909
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,240
Speaker 1: When to get that pose the guy.

910
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:07,439
Speaker 2: With there, Yeah, so good, freaking Elton John.

911
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 1: It was Elon John, right, I was out John John.

912
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 2: That was all Elton John.

913
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 1: I told John John.

914
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 3: She's like John.

915
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 2: It's Elton John.

916
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, Okay, we've gotten to Elton John. What do

917
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 1: we have to say about this story?

918
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 3: Elton John?

919
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: Nothing else? Divorce.

920
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,439
Speaker 1: So I did find a therapist for my kids this week.

921
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: It's out of pocket, but obviously I can't wait any longer.

922
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what Amanda is up to. She facetimed

923
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 1: the girls earlier, but I don't talk to her. I

924
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 1: don't know how fixable this is. I told her if

925
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: she wanted therapy, i'd set it up, and she was

926
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 1: emphatic that it was not necessary. I told her that

927
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: that was my non negotiable. So not a great update,

928
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: but it's nice to get feedback. I might not update

929
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,359
Speaker 1: much if things go the way I think they're going.

930
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: But I gotta do what I gotta do, and that

931
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: is the end. There there is Hey, it's John here.

932
00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. Put a quick

933
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: three minute add from our sponsors that keep the show going.

934
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 2: My unemployed husband has been neglectful of our marriage, so

935
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 2: I left him. Okay, am I the a hole if

936
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 2: I leave my husband while he's unemployed? Fair warning, this

937
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 2: is a long one. I apologize, but need some input.

938
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: Summary of a seven year relationship incoming I, twenty six female,

939
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 2: have been married to my husband, twenty eight male, for

940
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: four and a half years, in a relationship for seven

941
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 2: years total. While this relationship started great twenty seventeen, that

942
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 2: only lasted for about a year. We met on Tinder,

943
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 2: talked for two months, met in person, and immediately became exclusive.

944
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from preten distance through three

945
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 2: nine on the r slas Showa story time Separate It So.

946
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 2: I was nineteen in college and had never had a

947
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 2: serious boyfriend. He was twenty one, just left a four

948
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 2: year relationship where he had been living with her and

949
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 2: was living with his parents when we met at eight

950
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 2: months into the relationship. We had to move in together

951
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 2: due to my schooling, because financial stress and his living situation.

952
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: We moved in with the agreement that we would both

953
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 2: work and pay half of the bills. I thought this

954
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 2: was a great idea, as he had told me he

955
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 2: was paying for an apartment alone with his ex. This

956
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,959
Speaker 2: was a lie that I discovered years later. They lived

957
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 2: with her parents and he paid for food. I was

958
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 2: in school full time while working as many hours as

959
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 2: I could to pay my half. He was working a

960
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 2: fast food job part time and didn't look for other work.

961
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:17,320
Speaker 2: He was not in college and never attended. Twenty eighteen,

962
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,280
Speaker 2: after three months living together, we were thinking about getting engaged.

963
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 2: I bought the ring as he wasn't working as many

964
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 2: hours and couldn't afford it. Oh three months living together

965
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 2: not together. The ring wasn't outrageous in price, as I

966
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 2: couldn't afford much either. It was under one thousand dollars.

967
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 2: He promised he would make up buying my own ring

968
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 2: to me with the proposal. The ring sat in the

969
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 2: apartment for weeks, and I thought he was planning something

970
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,839
Speaker 2: special when one night he proposed in the living room

971
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 2: of our apartment no speech, could hardly remember my full name,

972
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,439
Speaker 2: and didn't get down on one knee. He's like, hey,

973
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 2: She's like.

974
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: What He's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there something there?

975
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: Is there something you want to tell me?

976
00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: Amy?

977
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 1: Mmmmmy, marm May Margaret, I'm Margaret Brown Smith. It's Smith. Sorry,

978
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: that's a tough one, so really really common last time, Amy,

979
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: Mary Brown, that's.

980
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 2: Will. Uh do you want to get married? I guess perfect.

981
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 2: You just sat beside me, stumbled over my name and

982
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: asked me to marry him. I said, yes, Oh girl,

983
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 2: Why i'd you say ye.

984
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 1: Why or why are we normalized saying no?

985
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 2: Do you realize saying no? At the time, I wasn't

986
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 2: disappointed with the proposal, as I truly loved him and

987
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: thought he was just too nervous to do it publicly.

988
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,720
Speaker 2: Twenty nineteen, a month after our engagement, he got fired.

989
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 2: With the craziness of losing his job, he forgot my

990
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 2: birthday and I thought it was an accident, but it

991
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 2: was a red flag.

992
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: That's that's not you don't just start forgetting important dates

993
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 1: because it's like, oh my god, got fired.

994
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 2: Awe For the remainder of my schooling, he told me

995
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: he was applying to several jobs with no luck securing one.

996
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 2: From January to August, I was in school, working two

997
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 2: part time jobs and paying all the bills alone while

998
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 2: he sat in the apartment and played video games. I

999
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 2: was still the one to do most of the cooking

1000
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 2: and cleaning unless I encouraged him to help me once

1001
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 2: I started. After I left college, we couldn't afford to

1002
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:26,320
Speaker 2: stay in the city we were in with only my income.

1003
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 2: We had to move back in with my parents for

1004
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 2: about three months. During that time, I was still the

1005
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: only one working to secure income and looking for a

1006
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 2: new apartment. I managed to secure us an apartment in

1007
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 2: a shared home in my hometown, and he was able

1008
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 2: to secure another fast food job. While I launched my

1009
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 2: own business and worked part time, he was also working

1010
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 2: and contributing to the household for the first time in

1011
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 2: almost a year. It was the first Christmas that we

1012
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 2: could both buy each other gifts and actually celebrate a

1013
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 2: holiday without financial stress. It was great and the first

1014
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 2: holiday that felt like we were a little family. At

1015
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,800
Speaker 2: the time, we had two cats and had just adopted

1016
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 2: a third as Christmas gift to each other.

1017
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: Y'all should not be having three cats. You can limited income.

1018
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 2: You can't afford that. You cannot afford that. We bought

1019
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,439
Speaker 2: his wedding band, and I purchased that one as well.

1020
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 2: It was more expensive than mine, and he lost it

1021
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 2: within a year of the wedding.

1022
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna take a real hot shot in the

1023
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 1: dark here and say it's completely in, one hundred percent

1024
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 1: beyond reasonable. It's almost like a requirement to make sure

1025
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,919
Speaker 1: that you are still alive that you divorced this man.

1026
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 2: Shortly after Christmas, I got extremely sick with a mystery

1027
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 2: illness that was never diagnosed, rapid weight loss, constant exhaustion,

1028
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 2: severe stomach and joint pains, and more that I won't

1029
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,280
Speaker 2: go into. I know, with his income alone, we couldn't

1030
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 2: pay bills, so I pushed through the pain and continued working.

1031
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,320
Speaker 2: This was also the same month the VID it. My

1032
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 2: work got reduced, but with him being in fast food,

1033
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 2: his shifts stayed the same. However, he started calling in

1034
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 2: constantly and missing multiple shifts a week. On my birthday

1035
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 2: that year, he was sick and I thought that was

1036
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 2: why he forgot to say Happy Birthday, until I reminded

1037
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 2: him he just doesn't know when your birthday is.

1038
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 3: And he doesn't care. Stop giving this guy credit.

1039
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 2: By February, he was unemployed again due to calling in.

1040
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 2: I was the only one working and we were a

1041
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:13,240
Speaker 2: month away from our wedding.

1042
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: Stop stop stop, don't marry children who are disguised as men.

1043
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: After yeah, that's it.

1044
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,959
Speaker 2: That's it. Period after he got fired, our wedding venue

1045
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 2: had to temporarily close due to VID and we had

1046
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 2: a makeshift wedding outdoors in winter weather with ten people

1047
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 2: in attendance. The wedding, mixed with the VID caused a

1048
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 2: lot of drama with his family and my own extended family,

1049
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,280
Speaker 2: and that caused even more at tension in our marriage.

1050
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 2: We tried to replan at our venue in twenty twenty one,

1051
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 2: but after all the family drama, it just wasn't worth it.

1052
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 2: I never got a real engagement, a real wedding, or

1053
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 2: a honeymoon. And girl, I'm sorry to say, what you

1054
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 2: settled for that? Yeah? I wondered, red flag after red flag,

1055
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 2: you were running through a sea of flags.

1056
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 1: Was that the family drama? I wonder, Yeah, that was

1057
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:06,720
Speaker 1: the family drama, your whole family being like stop, don't

1058
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 1: do it.

1059
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, when people show you who they are, believe him,

1060
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 2: Believe him because it's true, which I know isn't a

1061
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 2: massive deal. And at the time I was more than

1062
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 2: okay with it all because I had the love of

1063
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: my life by my side and we couldn't afford it.

1064
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 2: By May of twenty twenty, we were in the same

1065
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 2: financial position as our last apartment and again resorted to

1066
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 2: moving in with my parents. During this time, I had

1067
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 2: a small business that was bringing in quite a bit

1068
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 2: of money and working a part time job. He was

1069
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 2: unemployed from about February to June and then got a

1070
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 2: position part time.

1071
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: Why are we letting him do that?

1072
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 2: Why are we just like not, that's he's been.

1073
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: More money employed, Like that's the third most.

1074
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: Of your relationship. I managed to save up enough money

1075
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: and got us into another apartment in my hometown twenty

1076
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 2: twenty one. The apartment is huge, cost effective and a

1077
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 2: decent landlord to deal with. When we moved into the

1078
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 2: new place October twenty twenty, it felt like a fresh start.

1079
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: We were both employed, my business was taking off. We

1080
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 2: were tal talking about children, and then he started calling

1081
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 2: it again. Within a few months of being in the apartment,

1082
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 2: he lost another job.

1083
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: He's not let he's losing it. He's given him away,

1084
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 1: He's thrown them away.

1085
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 3: How many strikes are we giving this guy?

1086
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 2: Too many?

1087
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 3: Too many full on, like twenty seven batters and this

1088
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 3: is you can't.

1089
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 2: Even see him behind all those strikes. Yeah, he promised

1090
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 2: me he would have a new job within a month,

1091
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 2: and he'll lose that job in two months. My birthday

1092
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 2: passed again that year, and he forgot. He doesn't know

1093
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 2: your birthday. That's three. He doesn't know your birthday. It's

1094
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 2: not a forgetting if he never knew in the first

1095
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 2: place and used his unemployment as the reason for not

1096
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 2: doing anything. When I reminded him, he didn't get another

1097
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 2: job for a year.

1098
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 1: At this point, I almost don't blame him because it's like,

1099
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 1: for however long this is what is his years years,

1100
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 1: so it's like for years you learn that you can

1101
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: just like get away with this behavior and nothing has

1102
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 1: to change. You get a job for like two months,

1103
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: and then you're unemployed for six It's like, yeah, he's

1104
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: taking advantage of it.

1105
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 2: At a certain point, you have to stand up for yourself, right.

1106
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:05,359
Speaker 1: You have to be like stop it. Jus, Like, how

1107
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 1: does he keep losing because he's bad?

1108
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 3: He doesn't he doesn't show up. That was like the

1109
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 3: one thing.

1110
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 2: But Mike, he doesn't care about them. He knows that, oh,

1111
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: people support him. He doesn't care.

1112
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: So many places that are hungry for workers right now

1113
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 1: that that's essentially the only way you can get fired.

1114
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,919
Speaker 2: Well, well, just this was during the bit, but even

1115
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,399
Speaker 2: before that, he was losing your job. During all this time,

1116
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 2: I was still incredibly sick, losing weight and trying to

1117
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 2: keep motivated while being in and out of the hospital.

1118
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 2: We started to incur debt and I wasn't able to

1119
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 2: afford the rent alone. I had to rely on my

1120
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 2: parents a lot to save my butt, and I am

1121
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,720
Speaker 2: forever grateful for them. I had to get credit cards,

1122
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 2: which built more debt and in turn made the situation worse.

1123
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 2: While I cried and pleaded with him to apply for

1124
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 2: jobs anywhere to help us get out of the hole

1125
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 2: we were in, he was picky with applications and wouldn't

1126
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,439
Speaker 2: take any minimum wage jobs. With how much I was working,

1127
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 2: with how sick I was, I couldn't keep up with

1128
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 2: house tours. I asked him to at least keep the

1129
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 2: house clean while I worked to pay the bills and

1130
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 2: tried to He would do the dishes once after a

1131
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 2: fight broke out, but eventually I didn't have the energy

1132
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 2: in me to fight, and the apartment became a dump.

1133
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: It was impossible for me to keep up with It

1134
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 2: eventually got so bad I was embarrassed to ask my

1135
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 2: family members or friends for help, and it added more

1136
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 2: stress to the marriage and made me feel secluded from

1137
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 2: any kind of community. I was feeling incredibly alone and

1138
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 2: neglected by him, and made that clear. I asked for

1139
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:26,240
Speaker 2: more help, more attention, more affections. Someone event to every

1140
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 2: time I brought it up. I was told I was

1141
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 2: nagging him and he was trying them, trying to fail.

1142
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: This guy was truly built to be like a bad

1143
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,760
Speaker 1: husband in like the forties, terrible has been the forties.

1144
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 3: Why are you talking to me?

1145
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 2: He was like, why are you always nagging me? Woman?

1146
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,720
Speaker 2: I'll do it when I'm good and ready.

1147
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 1: But to be fair, that guy's probably at least making

1148
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,439
Speaker 1: a wages, probably freaking has a job. Guys at work.

1149
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 2: During this time, many fights broke out where I was

1150
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 2: told I was the reason he was unhappy and that

1151
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 2: if I would just dure up, maybe he'd be able

1152
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 2: to make me happy. This was the point where I

1153
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 2: couldn't take it anymore. I said very clear boundaries, told

1154
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 2: him I expected him to pull his weight, help clean,

1155
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 2: or at least get a part time job and treat

1156
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,800
Speaker 2: me kindly, or I would be leaving. This was the

1157
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 2: first of many times he cried, promised me he'd change,

1158
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 2: that he meant the world to him and he loved

1159
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 2: me more, and that he loved me enough to try more.

1160
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 2: The trying would happen. I do have to give him

1161
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 2: some credit, but within a week he would be back

1162
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 2: to playing video games all day, ignoring me when I

1163
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 2: spoke to him, or giving me annoyed. What this is

1164
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,919
Speaker 2: how he approaches jobs. He's probably works for like a week,

1165
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 2: and then he goes back to not working at all,

1166
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 2: and then they fire him.

1167
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what he just did. That's the blueprint

1168
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:41,399
Speaker 1: for like every what fourteen year old? Yeah, talk into

1169
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: the room, they're playing a game. You talk to them,

1170
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 1: they don't respond. You go hello, and they what what?

1171
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 2: A job was also not something he got until November

1172
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,919
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty two. From twenty twenty two to twenty

1173
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,800
Speaker 2: twenty three, he held down a part time job making

1174
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 2: minimum wage. It was good. We were able to pay

1175
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 2: all of our bills for a year, were struggling to

1176
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 2: afford food, and our animals were spoiled. However, he and

1177
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,920
Speaker 2: I were still having constant arguments about household chores, how

1178
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 2: he was treating me, and how often we were physically affectionate.

1179
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 2: In December of twenty twenty three, we got a marriage.

1180
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 2: Fix it, puppy, no, stop getting animals.

1181
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: Stop it.

1182
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 2: You're the ale for bringing animals into this.

1183
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,719
Speaker 3: You got to fix it. Cats, You got to fix it, puppy. Now,

1184
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 3: I really hope you don't get to the fix it kid.

1185
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 1: No, they're going to get to the fix it marriage,

1186
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 1: which is like the well they're already married, the final Uh,

1187
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 1: they're already married. No, they're going to do it again. No,

1188
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 1: they're gonna go We're gonna get married again, but this

1189
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 1: time it'll fix everything.

1190
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 2: I was smart enough to not have a fix it

1191
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 2: baby at the time. I thought he would prepare us

1192
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 2: for taking care of something with more needs. Yeah, like

1193
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:50,360
Speaker 2: you mean your husband. Yeah, I can't child. That requires

1194
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 2: again of every day, that requires patience and training. The

1195
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 2: week we got the pupp I had to travel for

1196
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 2: work for two nights. I called them to see the

1197
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 2: pup a few times and things seem fine. When I

1198
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 2: got home, he was irritated, and the first thing he

1199
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 2: said was, I think we need to get rid of

1200
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 2: the dog. It can't handle her. Doi he can't even

1201
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 2: handle himself.

1202
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: DOAI can't handle part time work at the bookstore? Yeah?

1203
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 2: He was probably working at it in and out and

1204
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 2: he was like it just ooh much work?

1205
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 3: Are good to it?

1206
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 1: Which is it is is elite at least probably in

1207
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 1: and out? Do you have to be good at your

1208
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,280
Speaker 1: job at in and out? But if you the internet

1209
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 1: managers make six figures.

1210
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 2: I was devastated that Pop is everything I ever wanted

1211
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 2: and more. She may be a handful, but she's mine.

1212
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 2: I told him he needed to learn to cope with

1213
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,239
Speaker 2: her being here. I would handle the training and he

1214
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 2: wouldn't have to deal with her often. To this day,

1215
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:41,919
Speaker 2: he still doesn't handle her well, and when he does,

1216
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,280
Speaker 2: he's annoyed at every little thing. This was just another

1217
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 2: sign to me that he could never handle a child.

1218
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 2: During this time, a divorce was discussed for the first time,

1219
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 2: and he convinced me again he'd try harder and change.

1220
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 1: This is giving me almost PTSD now pe for a

1221
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 1: relationship I've I never had oh p twenty twenty four.

1222
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: In January of this year, he quit his job. He

1223
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 2: claimed the workplace was unsafe and the staff was rude

1224
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:07,479
Speaker 2: and threatening. It was a grocery store. My birthday again,

1225
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:09,839
Speaker 2: was a week or so after his unemployment. He told

1226
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 2: me he was going to call in a reservation for dinner,

1227
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 2: but forgot and would make it up to me. That

1228
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 2: never happened. The reason I mentioned birthdays is because it's

1229
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 2: the easiest way to show you all the little things

1230
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,800
Speaker 2: about me that he couldn't remember. Every year for his birthday,

1231
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,239
Speaker 2: I would take him out to his favorite restaurant, buy

1232
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,800
Speaker 2: him three hundred to six hundred dollars worth of gifts,

1233
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 2: make him a cake at home, and plan some other

1234
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 2: fun activity.

1235
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: Here's mom, you were momming?

1236
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 2: Did he doesn't even remember your birthday?

1237
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 3: Oh?

1238
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:37,280
Speaker 1: My god?

1239
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 2: I simply just wanted a happy birthday without needing to

1240
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 2: remind him. Even now to then, our marriage has been

1241
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 2: filled with endless fights, things said by both of us

1242
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 2: that can never be taken back. Apparently they can, because

1243
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 2: you're still together, Resentment that has reached a boiling point,

1244
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 2: and one party myself wanting to leave and file for

1245
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 2: divorce while the other is in denial. I have made

1246
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,439
Speaker 2: it extremely clear that if his attitude towards me didn't change,

1247
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 2: and if he was still unemployed by the end of

1248
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,320
Speaker 2: the year, I'd be moving out and filing for divorce.

1249
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 2: He has never taken this as more than a threat.

1250
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 2: But I've always been serious. No, you haven't because you

1251
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 2: haven't divorced him. You have not been serious because you

1252
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 2: have brought this up multiple times and you're still here. Yeah,

1253
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: and that's why he doesn't take.

1254
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 1: It seriously, and you know what, And that's tough love

1255
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 1: is what that is, OPI. That's not letting him get

1256
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 1: away with him.

1257
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 2: No, he is absolutely the problem. But if you stay

1258
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 2: with a problem and do nothing about it, we can't

1259
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 2: help you.

1260
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 1: If you watch the leprosy crawl up your hand and

1261
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 1: your arm and at some point you're like, ooh, I'm

1262
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 1: gonna cut you off. I'm gonna cut it off if

1263
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 1: you don't quit it, and then it's like three years

1264
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: later and it's up to your neck. It's too late. Now.

1265
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 2: We have not been sharing a bedroom for a year.

1266
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 2: We haven't kissed or held hands in almost a year.

1267
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: And the only time I've told him I'm important is

1268
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 2: after I say I'm leaving. I love him deeply, or

1269
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 2: I loved him deeply. I wanted him to be the

1270
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 2: father of my children. A little part of me still

1271
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 2: does from what.

1272
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 1: What catalytic event created such a strong fixation of this guy?

1273
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 2: But how do I stay when I feel I've been

1274
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 2: used for a free ride while being belittled and underappreciated.

1275
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 2: I have plans to back up my things, three out

1276
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 2: of four of our pets and leave for good. I

1277
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 2: will be filing for divorce and feel the need to

1278
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 2: cut most of, if not all, the ties or I

1279
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 2: will be tempted to come back. I've left out a

1280
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 2: lot of wedding drama details and rude things said during

1281
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,919
Speaker 2: fights to keep it a little more anonymous. I feel

1282
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 2: absolutely sick to my stomach thinking about leaving, and I

1283
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:35,040
Speaker 2: never wanted to have to leave this way or at all,

1284
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 2: but I feel as though I have no other options

1285
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 2: as I've asked him to move out and he refuses.

1286
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 2: I asked him to try to get a job and

1287
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 2: show me he appreciates and loves me. He doesn't. He

1288
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 2: will be left with the apartment paid off up until

1289
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 2: January first, and all the bills will be paid by

1290
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 2: me as well before being transferred into his name. His

1291
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 2: pet will be left with lots of food and supplies

1292
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 2: by me to last until he can get a job.

1293
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 2: I feel like leaving is something I need to do

1294
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 2: to be happy, as I'm currently miserable and burnt out.

1295
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 2: But I still feel horrible for leaving this way. So

1296
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: am I the a hole for taking this long?

1297
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 1: Yes? Self?

1298
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 2: A hole, self, a whole self, a or a hole to.

1299
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 1: Nobody but your but yourself, your future self, this is.

1300
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 2: A man you would find on until thirty.

1301
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: Yes, noope, at nineteen, Sure this is a man at

1302
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 1: nineteen at twenty eight, I don't know, man, I don't

1303
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 1: know if the guy who can't hold down any job,

1304
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 1: or remember your birthday or do a single thoughtful thing

1305
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 1: for you is the guy that you should be married.

1306
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 2: Or have children with. Yeah, especially that anything really with

1307
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: There's an update I left, Yes, I am safe. Before

1308
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 2: I go into a small update, I just want to

1309
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 2: clarify a few things. To start with housing concerns. The

1310
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 2: apartment is on a month to month least. Luckily, both

1311
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 2: of our names are on the least and can easily

1312
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 2: be transferred over to him. I also saw a few

1313
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 2: people concerned about split assets. We were too broke throughout

1314
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 2: the entire marriage to acquire any assets well married. Therefore

1315
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 2: there were no assets to split, and only household items

1316
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 2: and pets. This wasn't a hasty decision. I did contact

1317
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 2: a lawyer months ago to find out my rights and

1318
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 2: the legalities. I can admit I waited far too long

1319
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 2: to make the choice to leave for good. Yeah, I

1320
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 2: did leave out of a lot of verbal that took

1321
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 2: place while with him, Although it's not acute and excuse

1322
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 2: for not leaving sooner. I do think it contributed to

1323
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 2: my delay in leaving. I was down to a point

1324
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 2: where I thought I couldn't do better, and now I

1325
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 2: know that isn't true. The last thing I want to

1326
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 2: address was the pets. When talking with the lawyer, I

1327
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 2: was advised to only take the pets that I purchased

1328
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 2: or adopted to avoid any issues with leaving. I followed

1329
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 2: his advice and took three out of four of the animals,

1330
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 2: leaving him with his adopted pet. I made sure to

1331
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 2: leave enough food and supplies to last two to four months,

1332
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 2: and left money for my more supplies and food if

1333
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,160
Speaker 2: needed while he looks for a source of income. So

1334
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 2: with that cleared up, i'll give a small update. It's

1335
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 2: only but a few days since I left the shared home,

1336
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 2: so I don't have a ton to update. However, I

1337
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 2: am safe and in a comfort place with my pets.

1338
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 2: We are all slowly adjusting to our new home and situation,

1339
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 2: and I think even the animals feel a weight has

1340
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 2: been lifted off of them. I know he's doing okay,

1341
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 2: as he hasn't stopped texting me to let me know

1342
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 2: how sorry he is and always now realize how much

1343
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 2: he's hurt me and cause me physical and mental distress.

1344
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 2: He's also sent images of how clean he's made the

1345
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:22,080
Speaker 2: apartment since I left. I mean, it's absolutely spotless now,

1346
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 2: but he couldn't lift a finger while I was there,

1347
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 2: tootle too late. I know this is all nothing more

1348
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,120
Speaker 2: than a tactic to try to get me to come back.

1349
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 2: I am not fooled by the act this time around,

1350
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 2: and I refuse to cave and go back on the

1351
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 2: clear boundaries I set when I left. When I left,

1352
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 2: my mom came with me to out get all my things,

1353
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 2: my animals, and tell him what was going to happen

1354
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 2: from that moment forward. But you know what's gonna happen

1355
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:47,439
Speaker 2: with you. You're gonna listen to full episodes. You better,

1356
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,480
Speaker 2: you better listen to full episodes with stories just like this.

1357
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 1: Well we'll find you.

1358
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify, Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and search pokest.

1359
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 1: Right time and will whisper them directly into your ears

1360
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 1: so you can't escape us.

1361
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left of the story

1362
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 2: to the final thoughts.

1363
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 1: Final thoughts on that bit I just said, is that

1364
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 1: we have approval from Homeland Security to break and enter

1365
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 1: into anyone's home. And on the story, thank god girl, Yeah,

1366
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 1: thank god, thank God, goodness, gracious, girly. Worth so much

1367
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 1: more than what that guy was telling you. And I

1368
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 1: don't know a thing about you, but from the sound

1369
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:29,640
Speaker 1: of it, it sounds like you've already got your hot

1370
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 1: girl like era together.

1371
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like, I'm in a new place, better, I'm safe, I'm.

1372
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: Good starting businesses and you know, buying, acquiring animals and

1373
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 1: taking care of timetables and schedules. Yeah, you're crushing it.

1374
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 1: Don't let this literal fool you into not thinking you're

1375
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 1: that girl.

1376
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:57,959
Speaker 2: You're that girl. You are. But there is a little

1377
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 2: bit more. He signed the separation agreement that I presented

1378
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 2: to him from the lawyer, and in the new year,

1379
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 2: I will be able to file the divorce. He hugged

1380
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 2: me goodbye, and it was honestly the most amicable I've

1381
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 2: seen him in years. I definitely am feeling a little

1382
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 2: lost and lonely, but I also feel so much lighter.

1383
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 2: I just want to say thank you everyone who gave

1384
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 2: me input and advice about this. The sweet comments really

1385
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 2: helped me understand my feelings about this whole situation and

1386
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 2: the tough love really made me smarten up and do

1387
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 2: what needed to be done, so thank you. I may

1388
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 2: be back with an update at some point. For now,

1389
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 2: I'm just going to try to rebuild my life, reconnect

1390
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 2: with old friends and family, spend time with my pets,

1391
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 2: go to therapy, and work on me.