Speaker 1: Episode two twenty is episode one fourteen, how to Buy Happiness.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity, rights, and liver with your life.
Speaker 1: Here your host Jen and Jill mm hmm, Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name
Speaker 1: is Jail, and today we are re airing a listener
Speaker 1: favorite and it is how to Buy Happiness. You thought
Speaker 1: it couldn't be bought, but you were wrong. If you've
Speaker 1: got enough money, you can be happy. And that's what
Speaker 1: we are here to say and preach, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: show you how to purchase your happiness. And that's why,
Speaker 1: probably why it was such a popular episode. Hot take.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants yeah, everybody wants to be happy, um, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna show you how to buy it. So this
Speaker 1: is a very fun episode. Spoiler alert, there's you know,
Speaker 1: a little sarcasm. But first let's share who. This episode
Speaker 1: is brought to you by Rebate on Miller White. Katie
Speaker 1: from our fergal Friends community on Facebook recently shared that
Speaker 1: while binge listening to the podcast, she came to our
Speaker 1: episode on roth Iras and heard our lightning round, which
Speaker 1: was our funny stories about iras, so she shared hers,
Speaker 1: and it was that she opened her first rath Ira
Speaker 1: with a dollar rebate she got back from a Miller
Speaker 1: Lte beer purchase, further hitting home or belief that you
Speaker 1: can start investing with literally any amount of money from
Speaker 1: almost anywhere the dollar Miller Lte rebate. We just want
Speaker 1: you to know how much beer you bought, Katie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how much beer? Did you buy? Much beer? And then
Speaker 1: how much beer will be bought in the future because
Speaker 1: of the roth Ira a investment. So good, Katie. So
Speaker 1: you're not actually sponsored by Miller White, but we're here
Speaker 1: for that rebait only the rebate, only the rebates specifically. Um.
Speaker 1: This episode is also kind of brought to you by
Speaker 1: Tuesday because if you will notice, it's not Friday, and
Speaker 1: we're very excited to share that from here on out
Speaker 1: you will be getting two episodes a week, not one.
Speaker 1: But does love a Bogo, Well, you're not even buying anything,
Speaker 1: You're just getting to for free every week. Yes, because
Speaker 1: why not. We're not busy with other things. We just
Speaker 1: want to keep talking with each other and then sharing
Speaker 1: it with you. Absolutely and again, this this Tuesday episode
Speaker 1: is kind of also brought to you by the iHeart
Speaker 1: Podcast Network because their partnership us being part of their
Speaker 1: network allows us to be able to do more of
Speaker 1: what we love of our favorite thing, which is bringing
Speaker 1: you the podcast for free, and it allows us to
Speaker 1: do less of what we don't like to do and
Speaker 1: still feed our families lots and lots of take out
Speaker 1: and lots and lots of champagne. So I'm still feeding
Speaker 1: my family rice and beans because it turns out it's
Speaker 1: really tasty. Oh wow, you're you're just doing rice and beans?
Speaker 1: Wow'rede check got lost in the mail? Um. Yeah, But
Speaker 1: so we appreciate you listening and tolerating the ads as
Speaker 1: we all do on podcasts because it allows us to
Speaker 1: bring you more of these. So thank you Tuesday, Thank
Speaker 1: you I Heart, Thank you rebates on Miller Lite. Thanks
Speaker 1: Tuesday so beautiful. Yes, uh so, if you are looking
Speaker 1: for even more frugal friends to queue up, if two
Speaker 1: episodes a week is not going to be enough for you,
Speaker 1: definitely turned back the clock, head up to episode two
Speaker 1: oh six, or head back to episode two oh six
Speaker 1: Building Holistic Wealth with Keisha Blair. That one was a
Speaker 1: great one. Talks a lot about what truly makes us
Speaker 1: happy and how to afford it. I love, love loved
Speaker 1: that episode and then also episode how to Approach and
Speaker 1: control emotional spending. We usually approach our spending with we
Speaker 1: we make impulse spends when we're stressed or we have
Speaker 1: negative emotions, but we talk a little bit about like
Speaker 1: kind of celebrating, like celebratory emotions or positive emotions are
Speaker 1: also kind of rewarded with spending. And so that is
Speaker 1: another one. Episodes two o six and real good ones
Speaker 1: to cue up after this one. So let's get back
Speaker 1: into this one really excited about this hot take on
Speaker 1: whether or not money can purchase happiness and just how
Speaker 1: to enjoy life more. Let's do it. Our first articles
Speaker 1: from Forbes and it's called the five Principles of Happy Money.
Speaker 1: So we're just going to go through those ones first,
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, it's yeah. So the first one is
Speaker 1: to buy experiences. Research shows that material things turn out
Speaker 1: to provide less happiness than experiential purchases, but for some reason,
Speaker 1: we we continue to buy things because when you buy something,
Speaker 1: you have it long term, and so we think, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy the shirt and I'm going to get
Speaker 1: to wear it over and over and over, and that
Speaker 1: is going to bring me happiness every time I wear it. Um,
Speaker 1: But the law diminishing returns, will, you know, remind us
Speaker 1: that it only will bring you happiness for so long.
Speaker 1: Whereas an experience, the the anticipation of it, the actual experience,
Speaker 1: and the memories associated with it, you carry those with
Speaker 1: you for much longer than the happiness that an item
Speaker 1: can bring those that you've shared those memories with as well.
Speaker 1: It's amazing how I can recall maybe one time of
Speaker 1: spending three hours with somebody, and it is it feels
Speaker 1: as though I spent a lot longer than that with
Speaker 1: with somebody, given whatever kind of circumstance or activity you're
Speaker 1: doing side by side. It's it's quite amazing how important
Speaker 1: experiences are and the memories that are created as a
Speaker 1: result of that versus just like what we can do
Speaker 1: with our things in isolation. Yeah, when I was paying
Speaker 1: off debt, I had a rule that I would never
Speaker 1: drink alone. So whether that was alcohol or coffee or whatever,
Speaker 1: I would never drink alone. And that was to save
Speaker 1: money because I love the experience of getting coffee with
Speaker 1: a friend or going to a bar. Um but alcohol
Speaker 1: and coffee tend to be expensive after you, you know,
Speaker 1: buy them a lot. So I gave myself freedom to
Speaker 1: enjoy those things, but only if I experienced them with someone.
Speaker 1: That's a helpful boundary line, especially when you're aiming at
Speaker 1: certain financial goals that could be And yeah, it aims
Speaker 1: at the experience of it and not just the thing
Speaker 1: that you're consuming. Yeah, I like that, And that kind
Speaker 1: of ties into number two on this list is make
Speaker 1: it a treat. And so the article argues that when
Speaker 1: something is always available, we're less inclined to appreciate that thing.
Speaker 1: This goes in line with growing up in an area
Speaker 1: and never having been to the local museums or even
Speaker 1: some of the local parks because it's just there. I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's like that's in my backyard. I just
Speaker 1: never go versus others who come to visit. It's like
Speaker 1: that happened to us all the time growing up outside Philly.
Speaker 1: People were like, I want to go see the Liberty
Speaker 1: bell Is. It's so amazing, Like I want to see
Speaker 1: the Betsy Ross House, I want to all these things.
Speaker 1: And we're just like, oh, yeah, Like I went there
Speaker 1: once on a field trip in elementary school. It's just there.
Speaker 1: You just don't think about it. Um. And so using
Speaker 1: that mentality, we can create things to be treats and
Speaker 1: to be exciting um. And so in the article they
Speaker 1: give this example of like they went on a vacation
Speaker 1: and they found this wine that they really liked, and
Speaker 1: then they had wine every single night for dinner. And
Speaker 1: then suddenly they didn't want wine anymore. It wasn't a treat.
Speaker 1: And so in some ways, kind of abstaining from a
Speaker 1: thing or a purchase or inactivity for a time that
Speaker 1: you typically enjoy can help to make that thing a
Speaker 1: treat and then you can, yeah, spend money on that thing,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't have to be all the time. We
Speaker 1: don't have to gorge ourselves on that thing. And and
Speaker 1: in in some ways that kind align with fruit frugal
Speaker 1: principles as well of yeah, by the things that you enjoy,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't need to be amassed in large quantities.
Speaker 1: Do it occasionally look forward to doing it. Well, that's
Speaker 1: one of the reasons that I love doing no spend challenges.
Speaker 1: When I was paying off debt, I had these habits
Speaker 1: built up and I didn't even realize them. Um, that
Speaker 1: I would just spend money without thinking, but abstaining from
Speaker 1: it for just a few weeks put things back into
Speaker 1: perspective for me. And so these things, once I could
Speaker 1: do them again, felt like treats. Oh my word, it's
Speaker 1: like what has happened with COVID nineteen and all that
Speaker 1: we have not had access to. Like just getting to
Speaker 1: gather with somebody outside feels like an enormous treat. Um.
Speaker 1: I know in our area even like restaurants outdoor restaurants
Speaker 1: just opened up, and so even being able to eat
Speaker 1: outside and and you see that, you see the benefit
Speaker 1: that that can have on your bank account, and then
Speaker 1: create Like I know for myself, I plan Eric's hearing
Speaker 1: this for the first time to not go out to
Speaker 1: eat as often as I did prior to all of
Speaker 1: this happening. I'm still going to get take out, don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, but going out to eat is quite
Speaker 1: an expense that I need to treat as a treat,
Speaker 1: pun intended, pun intended more than just like how I
Speaker 1: feed myself. For sure. It's just taking a step back
Speaker 1: every once in a while, um and and just re
Speaker 1: recalibrating and looking at things as they are intended to
Speaker 1: be and in the same like with turning coffee and
Speaker 1: bar you know, things into experiences that also turned it
Speaker 1: back into a treat for me. So I actually sought
Speaker 1: out people to the introvert in me, you know. So
Speaker 1: it was a way to maintain community because paying off
Speaker 1: debt can also be kind of isolating. Um. So it
Speaker 1: was a way for me to seek out community away
Speaker 1: for me to make these things into treats, so I
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was depriving myself. So that you know,
Speaker 1: the pendulum swung swung from all the way abstaining to
Speaker 1: all the way indulging. It's still kept it in balance
Speaker 1: and check, but saved me money and I was able
Speaker 1: to feel really excited every time I went out. It
Speaker 1: feels a bit gamified to me too in some ways.
Speaker 1: And setting up these boundary along with this for yourself, yeah,
Speaker 1: i'd be curious and feel free to engage with us
Speaker 1: on our focal Friends Facebook community group. Did I say
Speaker 1: that right? Chical friends community on Facebook? Yeah? Okay, uh.
Speaker 1: In in some of the ways that you have set
Speaker 1: up boundary lines for yourself in a way that maybe
Speaker 1: gamifies or make something into a treat or yeah, that'd
Speaker 1: that'd be fun. I know that we do these things
Speaker 1: at different times, like the no spend challenge or like
Speaker 1: what you know, the boundary lines that you've set up
Speaker 1: for yourself to drink coffee. I think that can help
Speaker 1: us in this journey to create some fun around what
Speaker 1: might typically be mundane or routine. Yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: a great idea. UM. The third is to buy time,
Speaker 1: outsource your dreaded tasks in order to have more time
Speaker 1: to follow your passions. UM. So if money is an issue,
Speaker 1: consider outsourcing things like cleaning the house so you can
Speaker 1: work more and earn more money to pay for the
Speaker 1: house being cleaned. And this I think is a huge
Speaker 1: mindset block for a lot of people. I'll say for
Speaker 1: me initially paying to outsourced dreaded tasks or um, I'll
Speaker 1: talk about this later, but to um, you know, pay
Speaker 1: for things so that I was able to earn more money.
Speaker 1: UM that I felt a lot of guilt about having
Speaker 1: to do that, UM, but reframing it to be about like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm buying time so that I can do more of
Speaker 1: the things I enjoy. I think it's a prioritizing issue too,
Speaker 1: And I noticed this in my own life where I
Speaker 1: know what my priorities are. I say that I know them,
Speaker 1: but then what I'm actually doing with my time is
Speaker 1: not that I get so caught up in the menial
Speaker 1: tasks that keep me from doing what I actually want
Speaker 1: to do. And I think that this is along those
Speaker 1: same lines of saying what do you actually want to
Speaker 1: put your time to? Then put your money towards the
Speaker 1: things that you don't want to be doing. And that's
Speaker 1: not to say, like, Okay, this is not for everybody
Speaker 1: to hire a house cleaner, like I'm sure that there
Speaker 1: could be a millionaire arguments against doing that. However, find
Speaker 1: out what that is. What are you spending your time
Speaker 1: on that is keeping you from doing the things that
Speaker 1: you want to be doing or the things that can
Speaker 1: help make you more money. And it doesn't even have
Speaker 1: to beat time consuming things. But if you'd rather be
Speaker 1: doing a side hustle than be doing your laundry, holy smokes,
Speaker 1: do your side hustle and take your laundry to the dragon.
Speaker 1: If your side hustle is more profitable at least, yeah,
Speaker 1: then it's worth it. I also and and so I
Speaker 1: think we talked about this in one of our early
Speaker 1: early episodes. In the archives. So I want to dig
Speaker 1: up this concept again because it's something that has really
Speaker 1: stuck with me and has shifted a lot of the
Speaker 1: way that I approach money and think about this specific topic.
Speaker 1: When Eric and I were in Uganda, UM we were
Speaker 1: building homes and setting up solar power and different things
Speaker 1: like that UM for an organization down there, and we
Speaker 1: when engaging with the local people there, we realized that
Speaker 1: so many had people cleaning their homes that they paid,
Speaker 1: people watching their children that they paid UM and they
Speaker 1: themselves were maybe not making in our in my mind,
Speaker 1: like a lot of money and yet and so I
Speaker 1: was talking with some people about that, and they were like, well,
Speaker 1: this is what we see as the right use of
Speaker 1: our money. That if I can afford to provide some
Speaker 1: sustenance to somebody else, then that is my responsive ability
Speaker 1: to do that, versus hoarding it all and saying I
Speaker 1: can do it all. I can watch my kids, I
Speaker 1: can clean the laundry, I can do the dishes, I
Speaker 1: can make the food, I can work, I can show
Speaker 1: for I can be on the p t A Like
Speaker 1: this is a mentality. This is such an individualistic mentality
Speaker 1: that can really be a detriment to our mental health,
Speaker 1: to our happiness as we're talking about um and and
Speaker 1: this intersects with a lot of other things that we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about on this list of like being generous.
Speaker 1: Not that I think paying somebody for their work is generous,
Speaker 1: but that idea that like, is better to give than
Speaker 1: to receive. And so if we are able to afford
Speaker 1: to give others a task, to give others a job
Speaker 1: and pay them for it, like, it's it's our responsibility
Speaker 1: at least the way. That's the way. That's something that
Speaker 1: I took from that culture. Uh, and that has really
Speaker 1: shifted the way that I view my money and the
Speaker 1: way that I engage with that because I think we
Speaker 1: feel like frugality means hoarding your money, doing everything to
Speaker 1: scrimp and save and scrounge. But frugality is just about
Speaker 1: widening the gap between what you spend and what you earn.
Speaker 1: Like that's what frugality is to us, is widening that
Speaker 1: gap so that you have more disposable income to do
Speaker 1: with the things that make you happy. And so like
Speaker 1: I love that concept. Yeah, And and it is happiness
Speaker 1: if you do choose to buy a house cleaner and
Speaker 1: come home and the dishes are done and you didn't
Speaker 1: know them. Yeah, that sounds good. UM. The fourth one
Speaker 1: on this list is pay now, consume later. So they're
Speaker 1: talking about paying up front for whatever cost it is.
Speaker 1: They're primarily talking about vacation and delaying the consumption for
Speaker 1: that UM, and you can buy more happiness even as
Speaker 1: you spend less on those things. UM. Delaying consumption allows
Speaker 1: us to reap the pleasure pleasures of even anticipation. And
Speaker 1: I love what's being talked about here. And this is
Speaker 1: actually UM a concept or even like a tool that
Speaker 1: I was handing out to people in the midst of
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen and managing anxiety and figuring out how how
Speaker 1: do we find purpose if maybe we are without work
Speaker 1: or we've experienced extreme disruption or transition in our lives.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that we found as clinicians
Speaker 1: was really helpful and is always really helpful, just kind
Speaker 1: of pulling on and amplifying this is we need something
Speaker 1: to look forward to, all of us. And really we're
Speaker 1: talking about hope, like we need hope. That is true
Speaker 1: across the board, but particularly when things are very uncertain,
Speaker 1: it is important to have things to look forward to
Speaker 1: or when things are very, very difficult, it's important to say,
Speaker 1: what can I set my sights on that helps me
Speaker 1: to pull up out of my immediate circumstances. And that
Speaker 1: is true regardless of whether or not there's a global
Speaker 1: pandemic happening. It is helpful for us to have something
Speaker 1: that we can set our sights on and say, this
Speaker 1: thing is coming. I wouldn't say, and neither does this
Speaker 1: article say that the anticipation is better than the thing itself,
Speaker 1: but it is still really helpful. You do also have
Speaker 1: to go and do that thing so that you can
Speaker 1: continue to perpetuate the idea that this is going to
Speaker 1: be fun, and that's what provides you the opportunity to
Speaker 1: look forward to it. Uh. But paying for your vacations
Speaker 1: ahead of time, planning in advance. They talk about how
Speaker 1: they stayed at like six different places and all they
Speaker 1: had to pay was like the incidentals yeah yeah, which
Speaker 1: they ended up getting back on their card. So almost
Speaker 1: like I was thinking about you when I was reading
Speaker 1: this article, like their own version of an all inclusive
Speaker 1: by having um prepaid all of these things. So I
Speaker 1: think that's another way to look at you, know, you know,
Speaker 1: whether that's Christmas shopping or vacation planning, or you name it.
Speaker 1: Something that can be down the road that you pay
Speaker 1: for now when you have the money. It can help.
Speaker 1: I think the main idea is to shift from um,
Speaker 1: consume now, pay later, which is how credit cards typically
Speaker 1: work UM, to something that is save, save, save, pay
Speaker 1: consume UM. So trying to shift the order in which
Speaker 1: you do things. UM. The fifth one is invest in others.
Speaker 1: So research has shown that spending money on others provides
Speaker 1: a bigger happiness boost than spending money on yourself. And
Speaker 1: they did this experiment in the book UM. Between the researchers,
Speaker 1: they gave money to a bunch of people, and the
Speaker 1: half that spent it on other people reported feeling better overall. UM.
Speaker 1: So investing in others is such a big way that
Speaker 1: we can use our money. UH for us. I have
Speaker 1: always said giving is more for us than it is
Speaker 1: for the people we are giving to. And I will
Speaker 1: stand by that giving is more for the giver. And
Speaker 1: so you don't need to be an angel like you
Speaker 1: don't need to be Oh yeah, there's always ulterior motives
Speaker 1: behind doing big things. Makes us feel good, but okay,
Speaker 1: makes other people feel good day, embrace it and do
Speaker 1: more of it. Yeah, I don't feel like you have
Speaker 1: to feel like a I don't know those angel investors
Speaker 1: or those people that give that are really good people.
Speaker 1: I'm a horrible person, so I don't even know what
Speaker 1: they're called. Don't even let them fool you. They're doing
Speaker 1: it because it makes them feel good. Yeah, just do
Speaker 1: more of what makes you feel good. And we know, right,
Speaker 1: we know now that that is investing in others. Research
Speaker 1: has shown that's what it is. Yes, well said, and
Speaker 1: we'll get more into that, even in this next article,
Speaker 1: which provides us with four tips for happy spending, and
Speaker 1: it comes from ink dot com, So we'll go through
Speaker 1: all four yes, and again it it's a repeat of
Speaker 1: the first article, but I think it's worth repeating because
Speaker 1: I think that there's something behind this. And so number
Speaker 1: one says, spend spend your money on extra time, hiring
Speaker 1: a housekeeper of virtual assists, sence, splurge for a grocery delivery,
Speaker 1: so they reference. So this is actually the science behind
Speaker 1: how spending can bring about some happiness. We don't want
Speaker 1: to just throw this concept of money doesn't buy happiness
Speaker 1: out the window when there could be some actual science
Speaker 1: behind saying, well, it can bring about some joy if
Speaker 1: we do it well. And so it referenced the study
Speaker 1: of Americans showing pretty definitely that people who value time
Speaker 1: over money are happier than those who don't. And so
Speaker 1: they're arguing, all right, then spend your money. I'm creating
Speaker 1: more time for yourself. Chances are yeah, you'll feel good
Speaker 1: about that. You won't regret that. I will say I
Speaker 1: don't always do grocery deliveries, or I don't always do
Speaker 1: the all the you know, the meal prep services. But
Speaker 1: when I do, oh my word, it's so much freedom,
Speaker 1: especially if I've budgeted for it. So please hear us
Speaker 1: that we are not talking about spending outside of your
Speaker 1: means to do these things. These are absolutely budgeted for things.
Speaker 1: But when we've done that and we see that we
Speaker 1: have maybe a little bit of discretionary income, what we
Speaker 1: might be spending on like stupid trips to target could
Speaker 1: actually be going towards these more intentional areas. That is,
Speaker 1: that's the goal with this, is to put it in
Speaker 1: your budget. Don't let mindless spending dictate how you spend
Speaker 1: your money. Essentially like, don't wake up and wonder where
Speaker 1: your money went. Make a budget, but be intentional with
Speaker 1: putting things that have been proven to increase happiness. Putting
Speaker 1: those things in your budget. Um. The second one is
Speaker 1: to spend your money on great experiences. UM. So, like
Speaker 1: I was saying before, just because physical thing the last
Speaker 1: longer doesn't mean they bring happiness for a longer period
Speaker 1: of time. So when you're creating your budget prior to
Speaker 1: prioritize at least one experience each month, I think that's
Speaker 1: not too much to you know, to spend on like
Speaker 1: one experience to look forward to every month and then
Speaker 1: really fun to do and you can, oh my gosh
Speaker 1: group on living Social yelp. There's so many ways to
Speaker 1: get experiences inexpensively, um, but budget in great experiences. And
Speaker 1: when you do that number three, spend it with and
Speaker 1: on someone that you care about. So psychologists believe, and
Speaker 1: this is referenced in the article that one reason experiences
Speaker 1: seem to make us happier than things is that we
Speaker 1: often share them with a friend or a partner or
Speaker 1: a family member. And so while doing free things with
Speaker 1: people you love is great, you should also budget for
Speaker 1: the cost of that, um. But not just experiences, but
Speaker 1: with other people can bring about connection with others. And
Speaker 1: I will say, and this is another um therapeutic tidbit.
Speaker 1: Play is so important and there's tons of studies on play.
Speaker 1: We've talked about it and books written about play, just
Speaker 1: the amazing hormones that it releases, and especially when we
Speaker 1: play side by side with other people, it bonds us
Speaker 1: to one another. UM, it helps us to have a
Speaker 1: more positive outlook on life. It increases our feelings of
Speaker 1: happiness and joy. And I could go on and on,
Speaker 1: but play is so important, and I think that that
Speaker 1: is also one of the things that happens with experiences.
Speaker 1: Usually when we're spending money on experiences, they're fun. They
Speaker 1: are our version of play. And when we invite other
Speaker 1: people into that, and when we're willing to spend on that,
Speaker 1: we don't always have to pay for another person, but
Speaker 1: invite them in. And if possible, if you've budgeted for it, yeah,
Speaker 1: pay for your friend to join you. And that will
Speaker 1: increase bonding and connection, which again increases our levels of
Speaker 1: our experience of happiness and joy and life giving things.
Speaker 1: So all of this, yeah, it is rooted in some
Speaker 1: some studies, some science, some psychology that these are some
Speaker 1: ways that we can intentionally spend money. Yeah, and to
Speaker 1: circle back to number one, if you are not finding
Speaker 1: that you have enough time to play or time to
Speaker 1: spend with people you care about or have experiences at
Speaker 1: least once a month, it maybe time to pay somebody
Speaker 1: to free up some of your time. That maybe time
Speaker 1: to really examine your budget, your work schedule, how much
Speaker 1: your side housing. Maybe you need to slow down your
Speaker 1: debt payoff um or your savings rate. It may be
Speaker 1: time to just meditate on it so that because you
Speaker 1: do not get this time back, like it's fun to say,
Speaker 1: I paid off, you know, seventy eight thousand dollars of
Speaker 1: debt in less than two years, but I don't get
Speaker 1: those two years back. So and there are things that
Speaker 1: I wish that I dine. I for the most part,
Speaker 1: I'm super happy, um, you know with how I balanced
Speaker 1: my debt payoff. But I still have some regrets. And
Speaker 1: so you don't get that time back. You have to
Speaker 1: be okay with however you lived it. It's reminding me
Speaker 1: of this concept that you presented Gen and episodes back
Speaker 1: about being your own CEO, like the CEO of your
Speaker 1: finances and kind of thinking. If a business were run
Speaker 1: that way would be super ineffective and inefficient if like
Speaker 1: the CEO couldn't actually get the things done that they
Speaker 1: needed to get done to move their business forward. Like
Speaker 1: once businesses reach a point where they need to hire
Speaker 1: new people, they need to recognize that, like, all right,
Speaker 1: we've reached a point of capacity where now we need
Speaker 1: to hire out some of the things that we do,
Speaker 1: or we need to bring on another employee. And yes,
Speaker 1: that's similar concept. If I'm realizing I don't have the
Speaker 1: time to do everything, then maybe it's an indicator that
Speaker 1: I've reached my capacity and my limitation and I need
Speaker 1: to bring someone else in to help. I just recently
Speaker 1: in my business, brought on a virtual assistant because I
Speaker 1: realized that my time was more valuable working on higher
Speaker 1: level projects than you know, the menial day. Today, we
Speaker 1: just outsourced the editing of our podcast. We did It's
Speaker 1: so so these are things that you hear about inside
Speaker 1: hustles and businesses. Um, but they are the same concepts
Speaker 1: that you should be applying to your own life to
Speaker 1: make it as effective as possible. Yeah, So the those
Speaker 1: are the ways, those are our tips for happy spending.
Speaker 1: Those are the ways we believe that you can spend happiest.
Speaker 1: And I mean, if it's nothing that makes me more happy,
Speaker 1: there's literally nothing that makes me more happy. Every week,
Speaker 1: then the bill of the week. That's right, it's time
Speaker 1: for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a
Speaker 1: baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you
Speaker 1: paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're
Speaker 1: happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's
Speaker 1: built buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of
Speaker 1: the week, Jill. It's Olivia calling from Denver, Colorado. I
Speaker 1: Bill the Week gives a little bit of a stretch,
Speaker 1: but just bear with me. My favorite bill is actually
Speaker 1: even two dollar bills that I use when feeling at
Speaker 1: my gooter with gas. I recently purchased a Harndon Metropolitan
Speaker 1: and because the scooter gets about a hundred miles to
Speaker 1: the gallons, it only requires um one gallon of gas.
Speaker 1: That's at a time. It can only hold one gallon
Speaker 1: of gas. So therefore, because of the price of gas
Speaker 1: right now, um, it only costs me about one or
Speaker 1: two dollar bills every time you need to pull up
Speaker 1: the tank. So there you have it. That's my favorite
Speaker 1: bill of the week. Um, have a great day, and
Speaker 1: thanks so much for what you to do. Olivia, Olivia,
Speaker 1: this should be illegal to call in, making a so
Speaker 1: jealous on so many levels. First of all, you live
Speaker 1: in Denver, Colorado. That's beautiful. Second of all, two dollar bills.
Speaker 1: You've got your hands on some two dollar bills. Those
Speaker 1: are amazing and I don't think we've ever had that.
Speaker 1: A Third, you have a scooter, which is super fun
Speaker 1: and cool. Fourth, you only need to spend two dollars
Speaker 1: to fill up your one tank of gas to get
Speaker 1: you all over town. Fifth, your name's Olivia. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Six how many can I get up to? I don't
Speaker 1: know where you're going. What was the name of that scooter.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at up Metropolitan, Metropolitan. I need to see
Speaker 1: it for myself. This was amazing. It didn't even require
Speaker 1: any bearing with you. That was all. I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm looking at driving off into happy freedom, my gosh,
Speaker 1: freedom from gas bills. If you have any adorable things
Speaker 1: that you want to call in about that have to
Speaker 1: do with a bill, or maybe require a bill or
Speaker 1: or something, um, please uh man. Frugal friends, podcast dot
Speaker 1: com slash Bill and we want to hear about them
Speaker 1: and we will celebrate with you. It's what we are
Speaker 1: best at celebrating people. It's amazing. No, it's time for
Speaker 1: that lightning. You have to My child is sleeping. I
Speaker 1: just remembered that. So we are going to share one change, UM,
Speaker 1: that we've each made to spend happier, and one change
Speaker 1: we need to make. So this is one thing we've done,
Speaker 1: and then one thing that we need to get better at.
Speaker 1: So UM. First one that I did, UM, and this
Speaker 1: was a big This was a big mind cluster cuss
Speaker 1: for me. UM, so is daycare. I had visions of
Speaker 1: my life of being a stay at home mom, um,
Speaker 1: work from home mom. I wanted to do it all,
Speaker 1: and then very quickly after the birth of my son, realized, like,
Speaker 1: that's not me. That's not my life, that's not my happiness.
Speaker 1: It's what I thought. Uh, it wasn't right, but that's
Speaker 1: just not me. So I thought it. But Um, when
Speaker 1: he was four months old, UM, I put him into
Speaker 1: a private in home daycare and part of me was
Speaker 1: sad that I felt like it was a failure UM
Speaker 1: because I couldn't mom hard enough. UM. But I realized
Speaker 1: I can make more money having by paying to put
Speaker 1: him in daycare. So I have been able to really
Speaker 1: grow my own business only because I have him in
Speaker 1: daycare for days a week. And to highlight to what
Speaker 1: you're describing for yourself as what you know is helpful
Speaker 1: to experience the different expressions of yourself, what what is
Speaker 1: helpful for your mental health, for your professional growth, for
Speaker 1: you being the best mom that you can be, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not at least what I'm hearing you say is
Speaker 1: it's not just about the money aspect, but also the
Speaker 1: ways that that impacts you holistically. And I think, I mean,
Speaker 1: this is such an important thing what you're describing, because
Speaker 1: there's also the barriers of mom guilt which is so real,
Speaker 1: totally smart um, and the different life choices that all
Speaker 1: moms make. And it does not mean that you love
Speaker 1: Kai any less because you're not a at home mom,
Speaker 1: like holy smokes, mom of the year. Actually I'm nominating
Speaker 1: you this is this means a lot because you saw
Speaker 1: me almost drop him on his head yesterday. No, but
Speaker 1: the thing I wanted to focus on was the fact
Speaker 1: that you had an amazing feat of strength and like uh, fastness,
Speaker 1: what's the word I'm looking for. Thank you in catching
Speaker 1: him like he did not fall. It was amazing. It
Speaker 1: was incredible to watch anyhow, not to mention that I
Speaker 1: it was my fault, but but also you you have
Speaker 1: chosen what has worked best for you, which is part time.
Speaker 1: Like guy's not in daycare seven No, no, child doesn't
Speaker 1: take care of twenty wur seven, but he's Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: it's a part time thing for you. And I think
Speaker 1: that I always am super encouraged to see people operating
Speaker 1: in their specific expressions of where their giftings lie and
Speaker 1: to be the best that they can be on all levels.
Speaker 1: And you've found that for yourself, and and I think
Speaker 1: it helps to give other people the freedom and permission
Speaker 1: to do that and not shame one another for what
Speaker 1: is chosen. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Um. So for me,
Speaker 1: something that I have shifted and has my goodness brought
Speaker 1: me so much happiness is giving gifts to other people. Um.
Speaker 1: This is something that we do budget for. And I
Speaker 1: will say it's something I've always desired to do, but
Speaker 1: finances for a long time, we're not there. Like I
Speaker 1: was so desirous of, Uh, even just small things like
Speaker 1: knowing it someone's birthday. It's probably my love language, I suppose,
Speaker 1: like wanting to give people things because I know it
Speaker 1: makes me feel good. Like I'm not Mother Theresa here. Um,
Speaker 1: that's who I was trying to think out. Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: But honestly, this is an unpopular opinion probably, but Mother
Speaker 1: Theresa felt good for doing the things that she did.
Speaker 1: You know she did so yeah anyhow, and just refusing
Speaker 1: to feel guilty about it. And because this does satisfy
Speaker 1: something for me, like I am able to go shopping
Speaker 1: pick up like all the cute things that I see
Speaker 1: at the store, but then give them to somebody else.
Speaker 1: So like I get to shop, I get to buy
Speaker 1: cute things, and then I give it to somebody else
Speaker 1: and it's just like win win win across the board. Um,
Speaker 1: and I I just I refused to feel that like
Speaker 1: shopping guilt for that because of the value that it
Speaker 1: places on other people and the fact that I have
Speaker 1: the money to do that I have allotted for it.
Speaker 1: So oh my gosh, here's something you should go to
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash raise and get a
Speaker 1: gift card for somebody. Yeah, I mean you get free
Speaker 1: of five three dollars by using our referral code and
Speaker 1: then give that to somebody my word, give it forward
Speaker 1: everybody in the forth and back and forth. Yeah, we'll
Speaker 1: post the link in there. That's set. Okay, that's right,
Speaker 1: that's done, is done. What she needs to My next thing,
Speaker 1: one chain that I want to make is to increase
Speaker 1: my giving. Um, I want to give more to more
Speaker 1: organizations doing work that I think is necessary. But more so,
Speaker 1: I want to give to more people in my community. Uh,
Speaker 1: like we need to feel connected right now. And I
Speaker 1: may not have a big income compared to some people,
Speaker 1: but it's big compared to others. And so I want
Speaker 1: to use what I've been blessed with to encourage others.
Speaker 1: And I have a I just made a YouTube video
Speaker 1: recently about like ways that you can give without having
Speaker 1: a lot of money and like to vote with your dollar.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that I remember really significantly
Speaker 1: when I was a broke college student is that I would, um,
Speaker 1: I went to go get gas several times at this
Speaker 1: gas station and there would be just twenty dollars on
Speaker 1: the pump, just prepaid, and so like as a broke
Speaker 1: college student, that made such a big impact having twenty
Speaker 1: in my tank, um, and so like it's stuff like that,
Speaker 1: Like I want to do that for people, um and
Speaker 1: I have, I've done it before, but like I want
Speaker 1: to be more intentional and not wondering, not stressing so
Speaker 1: much of like whether I give money to the person
Speaker 1: on the side of the road, like what are they
Speaker 1: going to do with it? Are they going to use
Speaker 1: it efficiently and effectively? Like who that pick cares? Like
Speaker 1: I've stopped caring about that that that cannot be Like
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you money and it's not like
Speaker 1: it's not up to me with what you're going to
Speaker 1: do with that, Like I don't have to, but like
Speaker 1: if I want to, I'm going to and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to second guess myself. Yeah. Absolutely. Also, uh so
Speaker 1: for me, you have a more altruistic goal in money
Speaker 1: you already have, You're already doing the altruistic for you whatever. No,
Speaker 1: you're no, you're better your okay. I want this is
Speaker 1: more like a perspective shift more than it is something
Speaker 1: that's like actually like this is already happening. I just
Speaker 1: want to change my perspective on it. So like ordering
Speaker 1: out and allowing myself to have a higher food budget
Speaker 1: guilt free. So I can feel so much comparison when
Speaker 1: I see people in the personal finance space talking about, Hello,
Speaker 1: is your grocery budget? What's everybody's food budget? I mean,
Speaker 1: it is one of our biggest areas of spending and
Speaker 1: where we want terrain and spending. So it's such a
Speaker 1: hot topic and people are talking about it all the time.
Speaker 1: Of Oh, for for a couple, I spend fifty dollars
Speaker 1: a month, and I'm just like, oh my word, I'm
Speaker 1: nowhere near that. But I am so beyond that amount
Speaker 1: of money. But yet I recognize where my life season
Speaker 1: is and how first of all, just like stressed and
Speaker 1: annoyed and frustrated, I get at why we have to
Speaker 1: eat three meals a day. I mean I've cut it
Speaker 1: down to two and some days down to one, but like,
Speaker 1: why you're so thin? That's sickening. It's just I'm so
Speaker 1: tired of thinking about food, And then every time I
Speaker 1: do think about food, then I just take it even
Speaker 1: further where I think I have to do this for
Speaker 1: the rest of my life, Like I'm already done with
Speaker 1: it in my thirties and I potentially have forty more
Speaker 1: years of needing to think about food every single day.
Speaker 1: It's like that, that's where it's at for me. Bad.
Speaker 1: It is. I like food, don't get me wrong, but
Speaker 1: to think about I've got to go grocery shopping. I've
Speaker 1: got a meal plant, I've got to prep it, I've
Speaker 1: got to cook it, I got to clean up after it.
Speaker 1: I gotta then think about what are we doing the
Speaker 1: next day. It's just like, oh my goodness, I can't
Speaker 1: on top of everything else that I'm doing. So anyhow,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is wanting to give myself the permission that, hey,
Speaker 1: my food budget is a lot higher, but I have
Speaker 1: budgeted for it, and and my food budget, to be fair,
Speaker 1: includes everything. It includes all my beverages, my eating out,
Speaker 1: my dining in, my groceries, it's everything. But yes, it
Speaker 1: is higher than fifty a month. It is higher than
Speaker 1: for yourself. Yeah, and I think I just need the
Speaker 1: permits I need to just experience the permission of this
Speaker 1: is what I've budgeted for, I have the money to
Speaker 1: do it. This is where my values are. This is
Speaker 1: what helps free up time for me to do the
Speaker 1: things that I want to do. This is how I'm
Speaker 1: going to feed myself at least for this season. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's much better than saying than you know, meal planning
Speaker 1: out seven dinners for the week, but always failing, you know,
Speaker 1: twice a week, and then you feel the guilt and
Speaker 1: instead just budget it in and let go of the guilt,
Speaker 1: give yourself great cycle I get into yea is I'll
Speaker 1: go and I'll get a ton of stuff from the
Speaker 1: grocery store, and then halfway through the week I don't
Speaker 1: have the capacity for it. So then I'm also ordering out.
Speaker 1: And then it's just like, well, this is ridiculous because
Speaker 1: now I have gone grocery shopping and I'm eating out,
Speaker 1: and that's where it's not okay, and it goes beyond.
Speaker 1: So and if this is somewhere that you're trying to
Speaker 1: rain in, So if you're more like me and you're
Speaker 1: just like I love to think about my next meal
Speaker 1: after my last meal, then then try and get creative,
Speaker 1: like with your budgets. So give yourself grace, go lowly. Um.
Speaker 1: But then maybe maybe next month you keep the same
Speaker 1: food budget, but you think about how you can work
Speaker 1: more creatively with it. So try to eat out, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, increase you're eating out without increasing your spending.
Speaker 1: So gamify it. There's nothing wrong with gamifying how you
Speaker 1: do frugality. And I'm still like, goodness, what when I
Speaker 1: say that what I'm doing is I'm picking up Chick
Speaker 1: fil A chicken fingers and I'm putting it on lettuce
Speaker 1: that I did buy from a grocery store. But that
Speaker 1: to be guilt free about it versus in my mind
Speaker 1: where all goes, I should have made that chicken myself.
Speaker 1: I should have gone to the meat market where I
Speaker 1: can get discounted chicken, and I should have done all
Speaker 1: like And I not right now, maybe eventually, but and
Speaker 1: and it shs with season because chick Fili chicken is
Speaker 1: good like, it's delicious. I learned that that one of
Speaker 1: their secrets is marinating their chicken and pickled juice. Still
Speaker 1: pickled juice. It's true. So if you need one more
Speaker 1: thing on your plate, um marinate your chicken. Don't pickle juice.
Speaker 1: If you if that's what brings you joy, well, we
Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed this rerun, and we wanted to give
Speaker 1: you a little update on our Lightning Round responses, which
Speaker 1: is a change you've made made to spend happier and
Speaker 1: one change you're going to make. So Jill, what's your update.
Speaker 1: I love listening back what this would have been about
Speaker 1: a year ago, maybe a little less than a year,
Speaker 1: a two years, year and a half. Yeah, math, and
Speaker 1: some of these things are still so true for me.
Speaker 1: But then some thing's yeah, I've seen growth in progress,
Speaker 1: which is exciting. So just a side note for anybody
Speaker 1: journal or document or have a way to look back
Speaker 1: on your life in some way, because there's real benefit
Speaker 1: and treasures hidden in that process. So yes, I still
Speaker 1: give gifts to people. They don't always look tangible. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's just in the form of buying food, which is
Speaker 1: tangible I suppose, or having experiences together. But also if
Speaker 1: I'm going to give something, it's usually gonna be a
Speaker 1: plant or a flower, and you all know that. It's
Speaker 1: then and I love that And that has definitely continued.
Speaker 1: And then this part about ordering food and my food
Speaker 1: budget being higher, Yes, I have experienced more and more
Speaker 1: grace and permission in that area towards myself. But one
Speaker 1: thing I've recently changed that has helped me a ton
Speaker 1: is I used to keep my line item of food
Speaker 1: in my budget as just one thing. So whether it
Speaker 1: was groceries or take out or restaurant. It was all
Speaker 1: clumped into just food, and that was one of the
Speaker 1: reasons that it felt so so high, but yet I
Speaker 1: couldn't seem to get it down to the spot that
Speaker 1: I thought was going to be the best place to
Speaker 1: have it at. And separating it out between groceries and
Speaker 1: restaurant slash take out just two different categories, aligning that
Speaker 1: with my values but also being realistic with I really
Speaker 1: don't want to spend more than X y Z on this,
Speaker 1: but yet we can still go out has really helped
Speaker 1: me a ton. And I recognize it's probably just a
Speaker 1: mindset or perspective shift thing, but pulling that apart has
Speaker 1: helped me to see really where I'm spending that maybe
Speaker 1: I don't want to be spending so much, or oh,
Speaker 1: this is okay because I feel good about this amount
Speaker 1: on groceries, and I feel good about this amount on
Speaker 1: restaurants and it feels like a treat. So I'm leaning
Speaker 1: into groceries and eating at home more. And for whatever
Speaker 1: reason for me, it has really helped to keep me
Speaker 1: right where I want to be and within my what
Speaker 1: I make each month. So that's been a helpful shift,
Speaker 1: so good. So I talked about daycare and how I
Speaker 1: had to relinquish the guilt that I could do it all,
Speaker 1: and I am. I am sitting pretty girl. You know.
Speaker 1: I love spending money on daycare. Now it's the thing
Speaker 1: when people ask what do you spend on without guilt?
Speaker 1: It's daycare for me because it has been not just
Speaker 1: good for me, but it has been so good for Kai,
Speaker 1: like he has flourished, learned so much. We are so
Speaker 1: thankful for Mrs Abelle at daycare. It is the best
Speaker 1: money that I spend every month. It's so great. And
Speaker 1: I can affirm that like just going with you to
Speaker 1: pick up Kai from Miss Isabel's and just he's so happy,
Speaker 1: all the other kids are so happy, and yeah, it's
Speaker 1: really great. So that is a that was a total
Speaker 1: that was a big stressor for me not being able
Speaker 1: to do it all. So that was that was that
Speaker 1: And he I think he had already been in daycare
Speaker 1: for a little while when we recorded this, So yeah,
Speaker 1: that that's been great. And then I'm still working on
Speaker 1: looking for opportunities to give I do I have Ever
Speaker 1: since the episode, I've been giving every month to organizations
Speaker 1: that I really believe in so I feel good about that.
Speaker 1: And I have found little places where I can give
Speaker 1: to people in my community, whether it's cash or just
Speaker 1: a little feel good gift or whatever. So yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been doing better with that, but like always could improve.
Speaker 1: So yeah, looking forward to even more growth, especially with
Speaker 1: these two episodes a week. Imagine the exponential growth we're
Speaker 1: all going to experience. I'm so excited. Oh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for listening. I hope that
Speaker 1: you will listen twice as much as you have been.
Speaker 1: And we just want to um congratulate one of our
Speaker 1: members in our private community or Frugal Friends Club, where
Speaker 1: we do monthly money challenges to help people save money
Speaker 1: and spend better. And so this one is from Debbie,
Speaker 1: who has been experiencing a lot of winds lately and
Speaker 1: so I just had to pull out a few. She says,
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful for this group. The last two months
Speaker 1: have been challenging, but the lessons I've learned and the
Speaker 1: changes I've made since starting to listen to the podcast
Speaker 1: and joining Frugal Friends Club provided firm support to navigate
Speaker 1: the challenges. The most powerful one is a mindset shift
Speaker 1: that setbacks and mistakes are not only okay therein fable
Speaker 1: with a newly adopted growth mindset, they're actually opportunities to
Speaker 1: continue to learn and grow. We were prepared for the
Speaker 1: challenges thanks to sinking funds in a health savings account,
Speaker 1: both tools I learned about through the podcast and Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends Club. We've had to pause our debt payoff plans
Speaker 1: for a little while, but I know this is a
Speaker 1: season which will pass. And Second, the concept of finding
Speaker 1: and creating my own path, Wow, she says in all caps. Uh.
Speaker 1: Instead of being dismayed and we're feeling guilty and afraid.
Speaker 1: When I look at our financial situation, I'm confident that
Speaker 1: I can put together a plan that works for me.
Speaker 1: I am equally confident that I can tweak that plan
Speaker 1: and even pivot when the need arises. Congratulations, Debby. This
Speaker 1: is so much that's so exciting to celebrate with you,
Speaker 1: all of these winds and this is just a snippet.
Speaker 1: This is like the iceberg of winds that you've been experiencing.
Speaker 1: It's amazing what you've set your hands in mind too. Absolutely, congrats, Debbie,
Speaker 1: So thank you for listening. If you want to check
Speaker 1: out our monthly challenge. Club had to Frugal Friends podcast
Speaker 1: dot com slash club to see what challenge we have
Speaker 1: coming up next. See y'all next week, I mean Friday.
Speaker 1: I have to change that. Frugal Friends is produced by
Speaker 1: Eric Sirian oh Man. Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun.
Speaker 1: I don't know how much of you can sing of that.
Speaker 1: That's it, That's all I'm gonna sing. Everyone knows I'm
Speaker 1: talking about gum and how much I love it, So
Speaker 1: why wouldn't I sing that? Yeah, it was in your
Speaker 1: episode where we talk all about you, and that's one
Speaker 1: of the things you. I think it's in every episode.
Speaker 1: And my goodness, if I could find a pack of
Speaker 1: gum named Bill or William, that would forever and always
Speaker 1: be my bill of the week. Yeah, consistent. At least
Speaker 1: I'm consistent with my bill of the week. It's my
Speaker 1: bill of the bill of my life. Yeah. Well, we
Speaker 1: all can't be you, Jen stop it, but we can
Speaker 1: listen to you two times a week.