Speaker 1: La la la La la la la la. Welcome to
Speaker 1: we know his parenting. I'm Peter McNerney, La La neel
Speaker 1: One horse, open sleigh or the fields we go. We're
Speaker 1: laughing all the way. I'm just I was one step
Speaker 1: away from full shock jock, one step all the way.
Speaker 1: It's a Monday night. It's the McNerney Newell household. So
Speaker 1: Brent his Christmas concert at school. Oh yes, I went.
Speaker 1: It was very exciting. He so if you're a longtime listening,
Speaker 1: you might recall at his pre K concert he really
Speaker 1: shipped the bed, you know, he got panicky and he
Speaker 1: started crying. You know, I mean that was like over
Speaker 1: a year ago. Like he had a successful concert after that.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I mean his person first graduation was
Speaker 1: successful and they were singing the concert. Obviously, I'm joking
Speaker 1: when I anyway, when I disparaged. He's recovered, Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: he in That performance was so shocking that he was
Speaker 1: overwhelmed by the attention and was the one kid in
Speaker 1: all pre K. He was just suddenly overwhelmed and crying.
Speaker 1: But he's recovered. He's loving it now. He gets King
Speaker 1: of the school. Yeah, he's sang five songs something about
Speaker 1: a Joe Billy Joe Johnny the Turkey song I've never
Speaker 1: heard of Up on the Housetop dradal Um, a really
Speaker 1: great kwanza song I've never heard before. So the quanzas
Speaker 1: thing is funny to me because I didn't know about
Speaker 1: the quanza song until this week. And last week I
Speaker 1: was picking him up from after school and we're walking
Speaker 1: out and he does this thing where he's at school.
Speaker 1: I see him, He's having the time of his life,
Speaker 1: and then as soon as we start to walk away
Speaker 1: from the building, his face drops and he tries to
Speaker 1: think of something to complain about because he's like hungry,
Speaker 1: and he's like, my mom's here, now I can be mad,
Speaker 1: and he does have to remind himself to be grumpy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he's like, all of a sudden, he pretends like
Speaker 1: his whole day was bad. So he like, we're walking
Speaker 1: out and this woman who worked at the school or
Speaker 1: something was also walking out, and he's like, you never
Speaker 1: let me celebrate Kwanza? Do you never let me? Asking
Speaker 1: you mother? And it was so funny because we've literally
Speaker 1: never discussed quanza with him ever, and I didn't know
Speaker 1: he was being taught about it, which obviously is fine,
Speaker 1: but it was like just completely news to me and
Speaker 1: I was like you never you literally never let me
Speaker 1: though quanza. He told me that Kuanza is way better
Speaker 1: seven days Kwanza, and it's got a better song. It
Speaker 1: looks cool from the song Oh Kwansa, oh Kwanza, oh Kanzaza.
Speaker 1: The choreography really sold the whole conference. He liked the choreography,
Speaker 1: which is like putting your one hand in the air
Speaker 1: at Kanza. The up on the up on the housetop
Speaker 1: choreography is the most involved. Uh and Britain is so funny.
Speaker 1: And there's a whole section where when you're like, oh
Speaker 1: ho ho, who wouldn't know? They do the wo ho
Speaker 1: ho all the kids turned straight profile to the right
Speaker 1: with their hands cupped to their mouth and they go,
Speaker 1: oh ho ho, who wouldn't know? And then they do
Speaker 1: a full one eight to go full profile to the
Speaker 1: left go And it was the one bit of choreography
Speaker 1: that was like striking, that's adorable. The rest of it's
Speaker 1: like just cutting your hands And like I never get
Speaker 1: tired of anyone's like school footage of kids singing. It's
Speaker 1: just like so funny. Um so that was the big thing.
Speaker 1: That was a big thing. That was such a big thing. Oh,
Speaker 1: we are, we are leaving tomorrow. We're recording on a
Speaker 1: Friday night. Remember when I said Monday night a second ago.
Speaker 1: That was a lie. And we've got some other recorded,
Speaker 1: prerecorded bits for you. Should we ensure those? Um no,
Speaker 1: not yet. That's that's gonna be the middle section of
Speaker 1: this episode where you get to listen to pure chaos
Speaker 1: as we've got some great stuff coming up for you
Speaker 1: later in the episode. You don't know that it might
Speaker 1: be garbage. I do know it's good. I just hope
Speaker 1: that you edit out the dead air of our children
Speaker 1: not talking. Well, that'll be completely determined by how much
Speaker 1: they leave me alone on the airplane tomorrow when I'm
Speaker 1: cutting this together. Oh so, when we are flying our
Speaker 1: two children halfway across the country, your plan is to
Speaker 1: be working while I supervised the children. Well, no, we're separate.
Speaker 1: You have one and I have one, So it depends
Speaker 1: which one I get and how much they lock into
Speaker 1: whatever headphones I plugged them into. What's our seat situation? Uh,
Speaker 1: there's work relatively close to each other, and there's two
Speaker 1: sets of two Okay, because otherwise it was one of
Speaker 1: us with two children, and I didn't think you'd want
Speaker 1: to do that. No, but one of my close friends
Speaker 1: just flew from New York to light did I already
Speaker 1: talking about this. She's just lying with two year old
Speaker 1: and I she did it, and I'm so impressed she's there. Yeah, bravo,
Speaker 1: good friend, Good job, my friend keep her identity secret
Speaker 1: because no one would want anyone to know that about her. Um.
Speaker 1: And we were watching a lot of Watchmen where it
Speaker 1: feels like we shouldn't talk about people's identities, right because
Speaker 1: all of our friends are secretly superheroes who are also
Speaker 1: secretly queer, who are also secretly a different race than
Speaker 1: you would expect them to be. The spoilers here our
Speaker 1: lives or the show we're watching. Um, sorry, those are
Speaker 1: spoilers about our lives. Fantastic Um so we Um. We
Speaker 1: had ice cream tonight and I regret it thoroughly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about it? The thing is, for
Speaker 1: some reason, we were in the car today and so
Speaker 1: my stomach was a little uneasy, so I just didn't
Speaker 1: feel like eating a lot of dinner. But then by
Speaker 1: the time our dessert arrived, I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe I will eat this. So I had a lot
Speaker 1: of room for it, even though my stomach was slightly upset,
Speaker 1: and I made it work. I didn't. The thing is,
Speaker 1: I stopped eating when I start to feel full. Oh
Speaker 1: how did how? I don't understand. I can't well, I
Speaker 1: don't know that I'm full because I've eaten so fast
Speaker 1: that I'm just like I have room for more, don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, Like aging has made my stomach
Speaker 1: more sensitive, where I feel a little bit more mindful
Speaker 1: of like how I'm going to hurt my body. Oh,
Speaker 1: I need I need to learn that. I'm I feel
Speaker 1: like a gross um, a gross jerk. Yeah, you are
Speaker 1: a gross jerk. Thank you. I feel like myself, is
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say. We did a thing around
Speaker 1: the dinner table tonight. We're Brett as usual was ranking
Speaker 1: all of us, and he was like, I love Maven
Speaker 1: and Daddy and Mommy, but I love Mommy the best.
Speaker 1: You know, he said, I love you, I love you Daddy,
Speaker 1: but Mommy, I like you the best. Yeah, And then
Speaker 1: he ranked us. What was the unit of measurement? It
Speaker 1: was he just gave you a hundred, Yeah, he gave
Speaker 1: me a hundred. I feel like there was a unit
Speaker 1: of measurement. But he gave you and may even each one,
Speaker 1: and he gave me a hundred. Oh no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he gave you a hundred. He gave Maven a hundred,
Speaker 1: and he gave me no that was me. Afterwards, First
Speaker 1: he gave Maven one, you one and hundred. And then
Speaker 1: I decided to rank everyone, and I said, I give
Speaker 1: Maven and Brand each a hundred, and I ranked you ninety. Now,
Speaker 1: oh after I had said I love Mommy the best also,
Speaker 1: and then you said that's not the case, it's not reciprocate.
Speaker 1: I just want to be honest. They came out of me,
Speaker 1: and they're slightly ahead of you. You know what, If
Speaker 1: I'm being honest, I love them more than you. I
Speaker 1: think that's fair. I have biologically programmed to love them
Speaker 1: more you. You came from who knows where. It's true.
Speaker 1: It's because very selfish. It's mathematical. I love them more
Speaker 1: than you because they're half me, and I love me
Speaker 1: more than anyone. Yeah, well that's what Brince said. He
Speaker 1: was like, mom, he was were you guys were like,
Speaker 1: we all love Mommy the best. Or something, and he
Speaker 1: was like and Mommy loves mommy. Um is that true?
Speaker 1: Do you love you the best? No? I don't think so, M,
Speaker 1: but I like that that's their perception of me. That's
Speaker 1: so funny. Um. So oh. The other thing is Brin
Speaker 1: how to play d Yes, that's the thing to think.
Speaker 1: Um who we won't name well, but we would say
Speaker 1: that two out of the four. They both have four
Speaker 1: letters and two out of the four. And he was
Speaker 1: at this this house and when I got there, him
Speaker 1: and this kid were like jumping all over the furniture
Speaker 1: and jumping all over each other and like hugging and
Speaker 1: um they kept being like yeah, yeah, duty, yeah, yeah, poopy,
Speaker 1: like just like classic, just trying to think of every
Speaker 1: like get every fart out before they left, and kept
Speaker 1: running around and like and the mom was like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe we haven't run anything into each other at
Speaker 1: the school and I was like, yeah, well, we're not
Speaker 1: really there Peter does the pickups and she's like no,
Speaker 1: but last year I was on the playground after school
Speaker 1: with him from pre K like every single day and
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, well, our daycare would pick him
Speaker 1: up from school and we never I never came here
Speaker 1: like and I had to explain her. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm literally the least involved parent in this whole school.
Speaker 1: And that's just every time I have to pick him
Speaker 1: up at regular girl here, Oh my gosh, amazing you Okay,
Speaker 1: you actually scared me. What's the matter? Did you were
Speaker 1: too load? We gotta put this little girl to bed?
Speaker 1: Did you have a bad dream? Yeah? Okay, baby, good
Speaker 1: night baby. Um, okay, Beth is pretty maybe into bed.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you could tell in that moment,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know what Beth was talking about. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe walked out behind me and I just looked over
Speaker 1: my shoulder and there was a tiny person right next
Speaker 1: to me, and that scared the living hell out of me.
Speaker 1: And she was crying and I was scared, and I
Speaker 1: gave her a terror face and it did not comfort her.
Speaker 1: And now I'm feeling lots of things, uh, and I
Speaker 1: feel bad, and uh, you all had to witness that.
Speaker 1: I hope I sounded like a good dad. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go pause and help out. And this next segment
Speaker 1: is called do you knows what they said? This is
Speaker 1: where we've got We've recorded some interviews with our children. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll just say that. Um. We recorded them in more
Speaker 1: than one way, and as always, they try to pull
Speaker 1: the whole thing down. So it's a mess. It's the disaster,
Speaker 1: but it's a little bit meandering. But there's some really
Speaker 1: interesting character work in there, I think. Um, I don't
Speaker 1: want to give too much away, but brit does play
Speaker 1: a lying guitar. Um, so please enjoy. And we do
Speaker 1: have a little cameo from Santa Claus. Oh yeah, spoilers,
Speaker 1: so buckle up, get ready. So Britain, can you tell
Speaker 1: us a little bit about the holidays? Well, Quanta is
Speaker 1: the famous one, the most famous one, yes, because I
Speaker 1: looked on the chart of the classroom and they had
Speaker 1: to go didn't label. The golden label means it's the
Speaker 1: most famous holiday. Yes, and the golden label is is silver.
Speaker 1: The golden label is silver. Okay, that's a designation that
Speaker 1: Kwanza house. Yes, after brain is Marty. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: be done. Okay, what are the other holidays? Christmas is
Speaker 1: not but I know it's Christmas is not a holiday? No, No,
Speaker 1: Christmas is not the famous Which one is the most
Speaker 1: famous holiday? Um? In December? Kwanza Okay, why is it
Speaker 1: the most famous because um, it has the Golden label
Speaker 1: on it. We've covered this. You're forgetting the golden label. Okay.
Speaker 1: So what are the other holidays? We've got Kwanza Christmas
Speaker 1: and Hanka Hanka and what is Hanukkah? It's it's a
Speaker 1: it's a holiday that this name is. Quanta is when
Speaker 1: you do call with some celebrate it. You just go
Speaker 1: with somebody. That's what quanza is and disco with it.
Speaker 1: The theme of Kanza is just go with it? Did
Speaker 1: you say disco? Disco with it? Disco with just go
Speaker 1: with it? Chers and that you're going with Maybe wants
Speaker 1: to say something. Maybe what is Quanza? My name is?
Speaker 1: She says, I don't know. Don't don't pull the mic down. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can pick you up. I don't stop pulling, stop
Speaker 1: pulling on it. Okay, okay, this this sound quality? What
Speaker 1: is Christmas? Are you talking to me, mommy? No? I
Speaker 1: said Maven. Okay, I don't know. What do we do
Speaker 1: on Christmas? Take a long? Take a long? Maybe what
Speaker 1: happens on Christmas night when you go to bed? I
Speaker 1: don't know who who comes on Christmas? Santa? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: when does he give presents. Yeah, like what kind of presents?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Like, what would be exciting if you
Speaker 1: walked down and he found a present? What would it be? Toys? Toys?
Speaker 1: What kind of toys or or something that you wanted
Speaker 1: for Christmas? Like, give an example, what would you man?
Speaker 1: What do you want for Christmas? What kind of presents? Brandon?
Speaker 1: What do you want for a Christmas? Piggy jail books
Speaker 1: that I don't even have Piggy and Gerald books. Piggy
Speaker 1: jail books? What the brand? Just fainted, just fainted in
Speaker 1: my arms. No, I didn't so shocked that no one
Speaker 1: knows what someone didn't know what a Piggy Gerald books? No?
Speaker 1: Do you want fake talking? Nathan? What do you want
Speaker 1: for Christmas? Un jocor toys like the ones you found
Speaker 1: in the closet? You really like those? Huh? Nic Maven?
Speaker 1: What did you find in the closet? Unicorn? For whom
Speaker 1: I shall well? The ones you found with her? Mattie right,
Speaker 1: your cousin, mm hmm um Brin? What else do you
Speaker 1: want for Christmas? A hot wheel? A hot wheel? It's
Speaker 1: a hot wheel? Is a is a toy with a
Speaker 1: car when you when you turn this John go in
Speaker 1: and there's a car track on it. Yeah, um, brand,
Speaker 1: will you tell everybody what Christmas is? Why do we
Speaker 1: celebrate Christmas? Because we want pleasents? Okay? Well, why do
Speaker 1: we have a tree? I don't, I don't we have
Speaker 1: a tree? Why do we get a tree for Christmas?
Speaker 1: Because those days we don't go to the neca? It
Speaker 1: was too high? Wait, daddy, what if we wait? You know,
Speaker 1: too hot? Why we would go for seven days? We
Speaker 1: want to be with our favory for a while. You
Speaker 1: know what I think we should do. I think let's
Speaker 1: interview these kids one at a time. All right, all right,
Speaker 1: we'll be right back. Okay, man, what kind of presents
Speaker 1: do you like the best? Mm hm h m hm.
Speaker 1: Didn't that have unicorn? John? Then unicorns on them? And
Speaker 1: and ponies? And what colors? Pink and red? Pink and
Speaker 1: red and gold for the hoofs? Gold for these? Are
Speaker 1: you still describing the unicorns that you saw in the
Speaker 1: closet that we're for Maddie for Christmas? Yeah? Okay, I
Speaker 1: still wanted to give them to her. You want to
Speaker 1: give them to her, but you you want to get
Speaker 1: some too for Christmas? That they're just like them, and
Speaker 1: I want the green one too, and then the one
Speaker 1: and the ones that I don't have that that don't
Speaker 1: look like the ponies that I have. Right, you already
Speaker 1: have almost those exact ponies, except your unicorns don't have
Speaker 1: sparkles on them. They don't, but you need the ones
Speaker 1: with the sparkles I want. Yeah. You also like sometimes dresses, right,
Speaker 1: what kind of dresses? One? Princess dresses? Did you just
Speaker 1: get a dressed in the mail this week? Mm hmm. No.
Speaker 1: You remember my friend Sam sent you a dress that
Speaker 1: was yellow and you put it on last night. Did
Speaker 1: you like it on? Try again? Do you want to
Speaker 1: try again? Well? Do you remember when you wanted to
Speaker 1: wear it to bed? And then we had to let
Speaker 1: you wear it to bed? And you put a shirt on, drawing,
Speaker 1: and we put a shirt under it so you wouldn't
Speaker 1: get a rush from the micra and I didn't get
Speaker 1: cold and you didn't get cold. And then when you
Speaker 1: woke up, you didn't want to take the dress off
Speaker 1: to go to school. Actually did wanted? You did want
Speaker 1: to take it off? Actually I didn't. You didn't. You
Speaker 1: were very mad, right, I wanted to keep Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you were yelling and kicking mm hmm, yeah, okay, I'm crying.
Speaker 1: You really love that dress, right, but you're going to
Speaker 1: get to wear it a lot, and I'm okay right now. Well,
Speaker 1: now it's about time again. So we're entering another disappointing
Speaker 1: dress era. Okay, she's leaving to get the dress. Who's this?
Speaker 1: Who am I talking to me? Who's me? Oh, Brett,
Speaker 1: it's you? Excuse me? I have a cough. Everyone has
Speaker 1: a cough? Hunt right now? Hunt? Who's that? Who talks
Speaker 1: like that? I don't know? Was that you saying? No,
Speaker 1: that's not you? Who is saying that? I don't know?
Speaker 1: All right, Well we're getting on an airplane. Who is
Speaker 1: saying that it's funny? Well, there's no one over here
Speaker 1: at this who? Okay, Brent, Next time that happens, I
Speaker 1: want you to look around and see who was talking? Okay.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, are you excited? Who was it? Did
Speaker 1: you see? I guess it's the guitars. The guitar has
Speaker 1: said that the guitars next to you. No, guitars. Are
Speaker 1: you excited to be alone for a week? No? Are
Speaker 1: you going to miss us guitars? Are you happy being guitars? No?
Speaker 1: What's your favorite thing to do? Guitars eat? What do
Speaker 1: you what does the guitar eat? Pep, Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: people brand? Did you hear that the guitars eat people? Brand?
Speaker 1: Asked the guitar as a question, Hey, no, no, into
Speaker 1: the microphone, asked the guitar as a question, Oh, into
Speaker 1: their ears? Okay, I'll repeat what you say. I think
Speaker 1: Brandon said, why do you eat people? Because we're people? Guitars?
Speaker 1: What what's the answer for? No reason? So you know
Speaker 1: it makes people really sad when they get eaten. Do
Speaker 1: you care that people get sad? Oh? Well, guitars just
Speaker 1: knocked the mic stand over? Yeah, because they're because they
Speaker 1: kicked it down. Okay, guitars, do not touch the microphone.
Speaker 1: It'll fall over it. It's heavy. Okay, yeah, okay, okay guitars. No, guitar,
Speaker 1: why are you so cranky? No? Okay, guitarist, where did
Speaker 1: you come from? No, that's not an answer to that question. No, guitars,
Speaker 1: do you like eating people? Um? Does that mean no?
Speaker 1: Or did you fart? That means yes? It means yes.
Speaker 1: So when a guitar says no, it means no. But
Speaker 1: when a guitar farts it means yes. No when we
Speaker 1: when we um chicken, then I means no. But if
Speaker 1: we go like I mean yes. If you say chicken,
Speaker 1: that means no, and you say it means yes. But
Speaker 1: you've been saying no a lot. What does no mean
Speaker 1: in guitar language? Chicken? Why have you been saying chicken
Speaker 1: over and over and over? Chicken? No, you just say no.
Speaker 1: Chicken here comes. Maybe she's dressed like a ballerina. Chicken.
Speaker 1: What are you saying no? And why were you saying
Speaker 1: chicken before? Because chicken? Because no? Okay, guitars, I have
Speaker 1: another question for you. Do like it when people play
Speaker 1: you play music on you? Chicken? Oh? You don't like it? Okay? Um?
Speaker 1: Would you rather play yourself? Or you just want to
Speaker 1: hang there on the wall and do nothing? Chicken? Mhmm.
Speaker 1: That wasn't really a yes or no question. Well, guitars,
Speaker 1: it was nice talking. Do you think I can talk
Speaker 1: to Britton now? Chicken? No, I can't talk to Brennon.
Speaker 1: Well I'm gonna talk to Brinton. What do you think
Speaker 1: they said no for you to talk to me. I
Speaker 1: know these these guitars are rude, right, I know, But
Speaker 1: I'm trying to listen to that. Okay, Brand, I think
Speaker 1: you should try talking to the guitars. Um, you're whispering
Speaker 1: to the guitars again. You want to know why they're
Speaker 1: not eating us, guitars. Why aren't you eating us chicken? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm done talking to these guitars. Maybe brand new topic. Okay,
Speaker 1: check in. Okay, guitars, we're not talking to you, Brand,
Speaker 1: We're going give a gutarge. You want to talk to
Speaker 1: the guitars. Is not the guitars. Who's talking now? I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I think it's the microphones. Whoa wait,
Speaker 1: the microphones are talking microphones? Do you mind that we
Speaker 1: speak into you? You don't mind? Well, that's good, Um,
Speaker 1: actually we do mind. Oh I'm sorry, but that's what
Speaker 1: you're good for going down. Guess what? Guess what this
Speaker 1: microphone did? What It put a speaker down. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put it back up. You mean the pop card. That's
Speaker 1: called a pop card. Wait, that's the thing that says road. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as a plug for road, microphone road a microphone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the company, the company. Why that's the company? Why
Speaker 1: did they make the word road? That's the name of
Speaker 1: the company. Actually a robot but I don't know where
Speaker 1: that robot is. I'm over on your pizza head. I
Speaker 1: don't have a head. Robot like doesn't know that people
Speaker 1: have regular heads. You actually have a blueberry pizza head.
Speaker 1: Why there's blueberry pizza on it? There's blueberry pizza all
Speaker 1: my head up? No, no, I'm gonna get the water.
Speaker 1: Did that robot just falling water and get electrocuted? Are
Speaker 1: you okay, Brad? Yes, they present music present. We have
Speaker 1: to go. We'll be back. Brand You heard the word
Speaker 1: presence and you ran away. Huh right, we have let's go.
Speaker 1: We have to go back. Santa? What are you doing here?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did you come to give us presents?
Speaker 1: What presents did you bring for mommy? So many? What?
Speaker 1: What presents? What kind of presence? I don't know, Santa?
Speaker 1: Did you forget the presence? Now? Where are they? There's
Speaker 1: another Santa here? There's too sick God to Santa's. Why
Speaker 1: don't we have to Santa's? Here comes a second Santa Claus,
Speaker 1: come here, Second Santa Claus. Second Santa Claus left Santa's.
Speaker 1: I think we're just being robbed. Yeah, that Santa just
Speaker 1: took our throat pillow and left the room. Um, what
Speaker 1: do you want for Christmas? Beth m M just hugs
Speaker 1: that I could do. There's there's so many people in
Speaker 1: the hallway right now talking and so many kids in
Speaker 1: the background, and I didn't put up the sound installation.
Speaker 1: You any of this usable, We'll find out. Stay tuned.
Speaker 1: This is a segment called Listeners Want to Knows. This
Speaker 1: is where we take some questions and comments from you guys.
Speaker 1: Cough relief is the subject line of this email from
Speaker 1: Jacob Hi. This is a spam. Oh my gosh, this
Speaker 1: is just an ad. Longtime listener, first time writer. I
Speaker 1: have really enjoyed getting to know you vicariously through your podcast.
Speaker 1: And while this podcast didn't didn't make us pregnant, I
Speaker 1: found you because we got pregnant. We have a really
Speaker 1: adorable thirteen month old and it's been so helpful listen
Speaker 1: to your podcast and hear stories about where Brendan Maven
Speaker 1: were when they were our daughter's age and where they
Speaker 1: are now. While we are really enjoying where we are,
Speaker 1: I know we have so much to look forward to
Speaker 1: in the next few years. Alone smiley face emoji. I
Speaker 1: have two things I wanted to share with you. First,
Speaker 1: I had a recurring dream for several months where you
Speaker 1: are hosting a live show in introducing a brand new,
Speaker 1: never before heard segment in which you could call listeners
Speaker 1: live and conduct impromptu interviews about their parenting. The segment
Speaker 1: is alternately alternatively called we Knows your number or or
Speaker 1: we knows You'll answer, neither of which helps at all
Speaker 1: with the creep factor. It would sort of be like
Speaker 1: we're Elizabeth Warren. Okay, I'm really not. I'm really not
Speaker 1: sure what the dream means, but it's amused me greatly,
Speaker 1: and I hope you might also find, uh find some amusement.
Speaker 1: We did, we have and in fact, Jacob, we have
Speaker 1: a big surprise for you work callowing you right now, Okay, hey,
Speaker 1: only do it in the style of Elizabeth Warren ringing, Hey, Glad,
Speaker 1: we're in this fight together. Jacob is not picking up.
Speaker 1: Oh Jacob, and hang up. You missed the opportunity I
Speaker 1: was calling you. This is not a good joke. Um. Second,
Speaker 1: I've had a chronic cough for several years while I
Speaker 1: was while I was in I mean, I'm in the
Speaker 1: moment where I can sort of feel like I relate,
Speaker 1: but I've only been only been two weeks. While I
Speaker 1: was in grad school in New Jersey, I briefly worked
Speaker 1: for a limousine company as a driver and had a
Speaker 1: passenger recommend a brand of cough drops called Fisherman Friends.
Speaker 1: I have those. We're a step ahead of you, a
Speaker 1: man man. We were just having this. Um They are
Speaker 1: essentially straight up men fall and a bit of acquired taste.
Speaker 1: But if you have to find anything that controls a
Speaker 1: cough as well as these do, I typically to find
Speaker 1: them in cvs A a a little white box. They do
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to treat the root cause or great at
Speaker 1: bringing temporary relief to a harsh and persistent cough. They're
Speaker 1: really powerful in like the sort of clearing out your sinus.
Speaker 1: This way they are it is. I I like that
Speaker 1: the brand is Listen, We're not pretty. There's nothing flashy.
Speaker 1: We're just gonna numb the ship out of your throat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like yeah, it gets up in your nose, like
Speaker 1: the smell of it. You you definitely don't want more
Speaker 1: than one. You're like, that's enough. It leaves my throat
Speaker 1: feeling like I've done enough to it. Um As for
Speaker 1: treating root causes. Several years ago, my doctor diagnosed me
Speaker 1: with acid reflux and prescribed an acid blocker. In addition
Speaker 1: to terrible heartburn, reflux can cause a person to develop
Speaker 1: a cough. The acid blocker helped tremendously with both symptoms,
Speaker 1: though I do still have occasional flare ups. Hope that's
Speaker 1: helpful and that you feel better. So and have you
Speaker 1: Holiday's Jacob. Someone was just telling me the same thing
Speaker 1: about acid reflex and I was like, we don't have
Speaker 1: it's only been like a week and a half. Like
Speaker 1: we all just had a cold that was annoying. It
Speaker 1: was just very cough based cold. It was never even
Speaker 1: really a full blown cold. It just went straight to
Speaker 1: the lungs. It was just like, yeah, you're all going
Speaker 1: to cough and then everyone's going to comment on your
Speaker 1: cough and it sounds bad. Yeah, but anty much pretty
Speaker 1: much over it, like I can. I did. At the
Speaker 1: story parts recording session on Thursday, we have a recurring joke.
Speaker 1: Whenever a character says something that gets it's supposed to
Speaker 1: be funny and gets no response, we leave a big
Speaker 1: blank and then we always record a person in the
Speaker 1: background just going like one distant cough to represent no
Speaker 1: one's laughing. And on Thursday I got to do it
Speaker 1: and I was like, my coughee is perfect for this
Speaker 1: right now. So we got the definitive version thanks to
Speaker 1: my lungs. Amazing. You see, things happen for a reason. Comedy, comedy, comedy.
Speaker 1: I thought you'd start singing with me, and maybe you'll
Speaker 1: start now. I'm not familiar with this song. It's called
Speaker 1: building a Cord. It's our two person barbershop chords. At
Speaker 1: where do you want me to come in? I am,
Speaker 1: I am Peter. You're just batching my note. You gotta
Speaker 1: build the cord, build a card by day. Dude. Wow,
Speaker 1: who knew our answer to this question would get so beautiful?
Speaker 1: That un down down down, dun dun, dun. All right,
Speaker 1: let's sleep these people. Let's leave these people alone. So, Beth,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put you on the spot. I gave you
Speaker 1: an early Christmas present. Yeah, did you like it? I
Speaker 1: did better than a normal president for me, normal president
Speaker 1: more practical. That's interesting because in my mind that you
Speaker 1: did a lot of research. Actually, I tried something that
Speaker 1: you hate that I'm interested in. That was that was
Speaker 1: the goal was for me to think about you and
Speaker 1: what mattered to you. I got bet some crystals. But
Speaker 1: of course it's just really fun to hear you man
Speaker 1: splain crystals. I wanted you to know that I thought
Speaker 1: about it because I didn't know if you would aesthetically
Speaker 1: like them, So I was like, I wanted to know
Speaker 1: that there's a many functional you really no. I like
Speaker 1: that you thought about it. Um. It's funny because you
Speaker 1: know we've we've obviously on the show shown that that's
Speaker 1: really my thing. But the second I'm like, okay, well
Speaker 1: I need to find a good a good version of
Speaker 1: this that you'll connect with, it just turned off that
Speaker 1: judgmental part of my brain and I'm like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is a good kind and I was I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: immediately just like I need one that's that's does better
Speaker 1: things than this one. And then I'm just flipped the
Speaker 1: switch and I'm like, this is fun. I like this.
Speaker 1: I'm on board. Um, so it was. I got it.
Speaker 1: Also got really scared going into the gym shop and
Speaker 1: talking to the gem guy. Um, but it was good.
Speaker 1: It was it was my last present. Of course, you
Speaker 1: finished everything. You were the the holiday present I wrapped
Speaker 1: to your presence, and I have shipped them to Chicago.
Speaker 1: Where we will be for you got all of the
Speaker 1: gift cards for the teachers and everything, and I want
Speaker 1: to say that I really appreciate it. Thank you. I
Speaker 1: got you um a special gift, Beth. I got your
Speaker 1: a tend other gift card to Dunkin Donuts. Oh, here's
Speaker 1: the extra one that you bought that there was no
Speaker 1: staff person to give to. I'm giving it back to you.
Speaker 1: I was only over by one. I'm just kidding. I
Speaker 1: gave all of them to them when I said, double
Speaker 1: up on him, like I would be really impressed if
Speaker 1: I came close to the correct number of people. I
Speaker 1: think we went way over. Yeah, I think we did too,
Speaker 1: But I was like, whoever ends up holding these gift
Speaker 1: cards at the end of the day, I'm happy I
Speaker 1: had Britain. There's one woman there that I really like.
Speaker 1: They're all really nice, but she's always the one that
Speaker 1: opens the door, and she's really seems like the adult there.
Speaker 1: And I gave the little bag of gift cards to
Speaker 1: Britain and I was like, will you go tell her
Speaker 1: like these are for all the after school teachers and
Speaker 1: he's like yeah, And he went up there and he
Speaker 1: did it really confidently and you see her like really
Speaker 1: be touched and gave him a big hug and then
Speaker 1: looked at me, came over and like gave me a
Speaker 1: big hug and kissed me on my cheek. She kissed, Oh,
Speaker 1: he kissed you on your cheek. No, she kissed me
Speaker 1: on my face what you know, like a side cheek
Speaker 1: to cheek. It was. It was nice, but I we
Speaker 1: did not have that relationship until that moment. Can I
Speaker 1: I have to retell something that happened this week that
Speaker 1: is related. So okay, First of all, if any of
Speaker 1: our family members who were seeing for Christmas in Chicago
Speaker 1: are listening, you need to stop listening right now because
Speaker 1: I'm going to reveal a Christmas surprise and I know
Speaker 1: you would hate to know that. Don't don't spoil it. Guys,
Speaker 1: we know that all of you listen every week. The
Speaker 1: second this comes out, if you will be in the
Speaker 1: Greater Chicago area during Christmas, you should just stop listening
Speaker 1: at this moment. Also, you're listening on Christmas Eve and
Speaker 1: I'm there, so I so. Our sister in law is
Speaker 1: bringing the new baby to Chicago, which we're very excited about.
Speaker 1: And you know she's a breastfeeding mom. She needs her food.
Speaker 1: She's from bos you, I wanted to send some meats
Speaker 1: to your parents home so she can have her home
Speaker 1: food that she enjoys. She's not really sweets person, She's
Speaker 1: a Bosnian meat person. She's a Bosnian meat person, you know,
Speaker 1: like cured meats and these Bosnian sausages that are called
Speaker 1: I'm going to completely forget the name. It's like something
Speaker 1: like a leppe or something, but that's wrong anyway or not.
Speaker 1: So I was like, and your parents are not snacks people.
Speaker 1: They don't keep food around, and a breastfeeding woman likes
Speaker 1: to graze. So I was like, I'm going to send
Speaker 1: her some meats as a surprise. And I found this
Speaker 1: place out of Cleveland. It seemed perfect. They can ship
Speaker 1: it like like frozen or whatever. So I'm setting. I
Speaker 1: planned this out, I find the place, I send it.
Speaker 1: I tech group text you and your mom to let
Speaker 1: her know that this package is coming. And I said, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm sending this package. It's addressed to sister in law,
Speaker 1: but it should probably get in the fridge soon, so
Speaker 1: I just want to give your heads up that's coming.
Speaker 1: And she said, okay, do you want me to hide
Speaker 1: it in the garage fridge, that you can wait to
Speaker 1: give it to her when you get here. And you,
Speaker 1: who didn't know this plan was happening until you had
Speaker 1: just received this text. I'm ready to defend myself. Keeping replied, yes,
Speaker 1: she should wait for us to get there before she
Speaker 1: opens the snack food. Um, I understand the criticism, but
Speaker 1: I will tell you my so. I didn't read the question.
Speaker 1: I didn't read the question. No, we'll all I was
Speaker 1: like reading quickly and my brain processed as it as
Speaker 1: is this a good place to hide things so people
Speaker 1: won't find it? And I was like yes, But the
Speaker 1: question was not that. The question was should we hide it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That so I didn't. Should she wait to eat this
Speaker 1: food until you guys arrived not what I was responding to.
Speaker 1: I didn't read carefully. Well. What it felt like was
Speaker 1: that I planned this thing for her to enjoy, and
Speaker 1: you were like, no, no, wait till I get there
Speaker 1: so I can hand it to her triumphantly. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I'm not I didn't think it through. But it wasn't
Speaker 1: that okay, But you're right, I do I do. My
Speaker 1: impulses just go definitive answer without processing the whole thing okay, um,
Speaker 1: I will say that gift. Um. I was like, boy,
Speaker 1: that's really thoughtful. That's that's where I could do better.
Speaker 1: Like Beth is, Beth is not only thought about. It's
Speaker 1: not like, well, we've learned over the last few year
Speaker 1: or two of having actual disposable income is that when
Speaker 1: I can get people something, food is a really good option.
Speaker 1: It's true like we had a we had a friend
Speaker 1: who just had um some things that happened to them,
Speaker 1: which I won't go into detail because I don't want
Speaker 1: to trigger anyone, but it's it's not horrible, but it's sad.
Speaker 1: So we I was like, should I sent her flowers?
Speaker 1: And then I found this um like meat and cheese
Speaker 1: thing from Brooklyn Larder, and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: a way better thing for someone who's like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well for me, I realized that this is something I
Speaker 1: thought before. But this actually led to the your present,
Speaker 1: which was I normally just go Christmas presents, how many
Speaker 1: do I need to get and for what people? And
Speaker 1: then I just think of it as a checklist, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, what is a gift that's like makes
Speaker 1: sense for that person as opposed to let me think
Speaker 1: about that person's situation, let me think about where they are,
Speaker 1: what they need, what what would be meaningful. And when
Speaker 1: I saw that you did that for our sister in lawn,
Speaker 1: I was like, that's real practical and you've actually thought
Speaker 1: about what they're going to be dealing with. Um, And
Speaker 1: I was like, that's the best. That's a good way
Speaker 1: to that's a better way to buy gifts. And it's
Speaker 1: not that hard. It's just it's just a mindset shift. Well,
Speaker 1: there's a weird thing I've noticed, and I feel like I,
Speaker 1: for some reason keep talking about this, but like now
Speaker 1: that our money situation is not dire, but we sound loaded. No,
Speaker 1: I mean, but just in general, like our finances have
Speaker 1: stabilized over the last couple of years, where I'm not like,
Speaker 1: you know, like if I ordered dinner, Like if I
Speaker 1: order food, I'm not like, wait, how much money is
Speaker 1: in our bank account? You know, things like that. Um. Anyway,
Speaker 1: since our life is like that and I have money
Speaker 1: to buy things, you're kind of it actually makes you
Speaker 1: more thoughtful about what you spend your money on because
Speaker 1: you can plan it out better. Like it seems, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I feel like when you don't have money
Speaker 1: you're actually just doing a lot of like knee jerk,
Speaker 1: like every thing is falling apart. I just have to
Speaker 1: deal with this thing now. It's not like you can't
Speaker 1: make like a solid plan like this week are I
Speaker 1: had to get I had to call a toe chart
Speaker 1: company to jump start our car for the second time
Speaker 1: in a month, and I was like it was annoying,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, clearly we need to get
Speaker 1: a new battery. I've never done this before. I'm just
Speaker 1: going to go get a new battery. And it was
Speaker 1: like annoying and time consuming, but it actually wasn't that
Speaker 1: stressful because I was like, whatever they're going to charge me,
Speaker 1: we'll be able to handle this. Yeah, we can buy
Speaker 1: a battery. Yeah. Anyway, Um that this is just me
Speaker 1: trying to sell financial stability. To listen, you guys tried,
Speaker 1: have you tried not being broken? It's pretty rad. Um.
Speaker 1: So the last thing we're leaving, you know, we're leaving tomorrow, um,
Speaker 1: and when we're gone, a bunch of people are going
Speaker 1: to come in here and make our bathroom much much cooler. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully it all goes a court into plane. Um. So yeah,
Speaker 1: next next time, we were so we recorded this early
Speaker 1: um for the first time ever. When we get back,
Speaker 1: we'll record our next episode in an airbnb because we
Speaker 1: won't be back in our place yet. I just thought,
Speaker 1: I just know you listeners, little teaser for you. We're
Speaker 1: gonna be worried not recording out of our apartment. We're
Speaker 1: gonna have to bring all of our sound installation blankets
Speaker 1: over to the air bad over there. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: actually we could hear. No, we have to bring our kids.
Speaker 1: I keep forgetting we have children. They are kind of
Speaker 1: a nuisance to life, really difficult, and you've got a schedule.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, you know what do we did it? This
Speaker 1: is it? Everyone, have the happiest of holidays in a
Speaker 1: happy new year. This has been We know his parenting.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to send his email, ask us a question,
Speaker 1: send us some advice to share. You can email us
Speaker 1: at we knows pot at gmail dot com, or you
Speaker 1: can leave us a voicemail at three four seven three
Speaker 1: eight four seven three nine six. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram,
Speaker 1: and Facebook and we knows pod rate reviews, subscribe, Tell
Speaker 1: your friend Okay, you're on gonna be at a holiday break.
Speaker 1: Tell your friends when you run into your cousin who
Speaker 1: has screaming children. Remind her your friends from high school podcast.
Speaker 1: They need this point, You need it. Tell them you
Speaker 1: have to listen to this podcast. Um and oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: we'll see you next time. Yeah, bye bye