1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: Hey, y'all. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 2: Is Laurena Rosa with the latest with Laurena Rosa on 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 2: Black Effects and I cannot wait to see you guys 4 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 2: at the fourth Annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. Okay, we're 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 2: coming back to Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, April twenty fifth 6 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 2: at Palman Yards and it's hosted by me alongside DJ 7 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 2: MV and charlottagnea God. We got drink chances of Noriega 8 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 2: and Djafing. We gotta keep it positive, Sweetye with My Girl, 9 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 2: Christopher N. 10 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:26,600 Speaker 3: Haslin. 11 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 2: We got Reality with the King with My Guide, then 12 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 2: my brother Carlos King, and y'all know he does reality 13 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 2: commentary like nobody can. 14 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 4: Now. 15 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 3: We also have Don't. 16 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 2: Call Me White Girl, the podcast I Love Mona and 17 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 2: Club five to twenty podcasts, along with the Grits and 18 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 2: Eggs podcast. 19 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 3: So this lineup sack Baby, turn up. 20 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 2: You're also gonna want to check out the panels that 21 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 2: we have lined up too, Feature and keV on stage, 22 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 2: Pika Sumpter, and John Hope Bryant just to name a few. 23 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 2: Of course, it's way bigger than podcast. We're bringing the 24 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 2: Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses, bus the food 25 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 2: truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. 26 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 3: Okay, listen, you don't want to miss this. 27 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,040 Speaker 2: Tap in and grab your ticket now at black Effect 28 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 2: dot Com Flash Podcast Festival. I'm a homegrow that knows 29 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: a little bit about everything and everybody. 30 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: You know, if you don't lie about that, right, Lauren 31 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: came in hot. 32 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 3: Hey, y'all, what's up. 33 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: It's Lauren Rosa and this is your daily dig on 34 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 2: all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of the 35 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 2: conversations that shake the room. 36 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 3: Baby. 37 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 2: So on this episode, we are getting to the listeners. 38 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: This is on the line with Lauren the Rosa. 39 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 2: We've done this before, but it was some time ago 40 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 2: and you guys loved it, so we are bringing it 41 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 2: back and here with me for this segment, we have Brandon. 42 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: Let's see, y'all game, think you can having me back? 43 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 3: You know your timeline here, you're the one who's taken. 44 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 3: I thought you could move on to have a guys, 45 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 3: Remember Brandon, I thought. 46 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: They ever remember me the first So you guys. 47 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 2: Will remember Brandon from him telling Michelle Obama so disrespectful 48 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: like that is actually like just even saying that, I 49 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 2: feel like I'm like this dishonoring the country. Well, okay, 50 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,399 Speaker 2: so we're going to get into it this episode. We 51 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,519 Speaker 2: want to talk about a few different things. I feel 52 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 2: like there's always these very healthy and sometimes unhealthy conversations 53 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: between men and women. And recently, my girl Ari Lennox 54 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 2: sat down with the Poor Mindes podcast. Everybody in the room, 55 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 2: I just love them. I love the Poor Mine podcast host. 56 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 2: I love Ari Lenox, So great combination, great conversation. But 57 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 2: they sat down and they talked a bit about how 58 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 2: when you're a woman with things, when you come to 59 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 2: the table with things, how men, Brandon, how y'all receive it? 60 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: Explain things though? You mean like assets success. 61 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 2: Well, we'll let we'll let We'll let the clip be playing, 62 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 2: so you guys take take a listen to this clip. 63 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 5: Oh, these invicious goals of mine that I've been able 64 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 5: to achieve, I thought that would be attractive and in 65 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,519 Speaker 5: me eating men and dating a lot of successful men, 66 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 5: none of them would ever ever talk about how exciting 67 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,799 Speaker 5: it is I have invested in properties, or would ever 68 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 5: even want to come to see my house. All my 69 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 5: accomplishments were minimized. Just realizing Wow, I think it deters them. 70 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 5: It does it intimidates them. 71 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 6: I agree with that because I used to feel that 72 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 6: way too, Like I used to think he gonna care 73 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 6: that I got my degree. 74 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 3: He don't care that. 75 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 6: We don't care that I got my own I paid 76 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 6: my own bills. No, men do not care about that. 77 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 6: I always say, just get rid of yr sheet because 78 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 6: they like girls without it. 79 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 7: It's so crazy, because it really is hard to find 80 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 7: a man that can just really support you and be 81 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 7: happy and be like. 82 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: Look at my girl. 83 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 7: Like you think that everybody wants to praise jay Z 84 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 7: and Beyonce, but a lot of y'all could not be 85 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 7: jay Z. 86 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 3: They're in the crowd cheering. 87 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 7: For her like yeah, I know, and y'all be pricey. 88 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, but y'all not Beyonce. 89 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 7: Okay, but you're not jay Z. 90 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: Either, woo. 91 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 2: So we are going to get into it. We have 92 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: a caller on the line. We solicited some calls. We 93 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 2: have a caller on the line, and we'll engage in 94 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 2: the conversation as well too. All right, and we want 95 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: to see you guys in the comments or on social 96 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 2: if you're listening. Laura L Rosa everywhere l O R 97 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 2: E N l O R O S a. So let's 98 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: get the caller on the line. 99 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 8: Hello, Hey, how are you? 100 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 4: Hey, how are you? 101 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 3: I'm doing good. I heard you want to talk to 102 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 3: me about some things I do. 103 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 8: Thank you for giving me the time of the day. 104 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 2: Yes, and Brandon's here as well. To our producer for 105 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 2: the segment. 106 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 8: I'm excited. 107 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, yes. 108 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 2: So you are now on the line with Laura l Rosa. 109 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,279 Speaker 2: This is a new segment that we're implementing within the podcast. 110 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 2: And you've been listening to the podcast. You're one of 111 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 2: the low riders. 112 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 8: I have, I have, I have been congratulations recently, but 113 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 8: I've been following you forever, but I've been tuning in 114 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:02,160 Speaker 8: to your podcast. Congratulations on your one year and at 115 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 8: Black Girl Power. 116 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 4: I love it, I love it. 117 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 3: Thank you well. 118 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 2: Look, speaking speaking of Black Girl Magic and Brown Girl 119 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 2: Grinds in Power, Ari Lennox sat down with the host 120 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 2: of the Poor Minds podcast and I had a conversation 121 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: about you know, just how it is having all that 122 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 2: power and when you come to the table dating with 123 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 2: all that power. I know you got a chance to 124 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: take a look at the clip, did you what did 125 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 2: you think about it? 126 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 3: Have you ever experienced that? 127 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 4: I did you know what I do? 128 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 8: Have an example, I was getting to know a gentleman 129 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 8: and everything was well. He didn't have anything negative to 130 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 8: say about me. We clicked, we had a great connection. 131 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 8: But he made a comment he was like, you don't 132 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 8: need me, and so that I'm like, I don't need you, 133 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 8: you know, And I didn't get it. But reflecting on 134 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 8: it in hindsight, I just feel like that can be 135 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 8: intimidating if you're doing your thing and I'm not falling 136 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 8: out of control by far, but I do have great 137 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 8: things going for myself. 138 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 4: I am determined, I'm making move. 139 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 8: Yes, that in itself can be intimidating to a guy. 140 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 8: You know what I'm saying, Just depending on their heads, 141 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 8: you know, had frame their their their way of thinking 142 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 8: and doing things and maneuvering if they don't. 143 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 4: Feel like they measure up for good enough. But yeah, 144 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 4: it just. 145 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,799 Speaker 8: Every guy is different. 146 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 4: Some men it's like, hey, you got to. 147 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 8: Bring to the table what I'm able to bring to 148 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 8: the table. It's all about an individual state of mind ultimately. 149 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 4: But yeah, that was my experience. 150 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 8: And he he did get married and had a baby recently, 151 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 8: and I'm like, okay. 152 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 3: Okay, I was going to add you need them, and. 153 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 4: That worked for him, but I don't. I was raised 154 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 4: not to need anyone. 155 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 3: So you got God. 156 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 8: So I'm very independent, but I am in my soft 157 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 8: girl era and I'm going to accomplish things and doing so. 158 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 8: I think it's unfortunate. But and you can miss out 159 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 8: on your blessing. I don't get it. 160 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: But this was just one day. 161 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 8: I'm still trying to this was maneuver through it. But 162 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 8: I thought that was that was something when I took 163 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 8: her look at the clip and I'm like, wow, you know, 164 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 8: even she is as successful as she is, she's struggling 165 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 8: with men that's on her level. 166 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 3: So you guys only went on one day. You guys 167 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 3: only went on one date. 168 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 8: No, we went on multiple dates and really got to 169 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 8: know each other. And I would say a good too much. 170 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 9: And okay, so Well made him say that, like he 171 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 9: saw what a car or a house or what made him? 172 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 9: Do you feel like God made him feel intimidated. 173 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 8: I have a live in a townhouse. Nothing immaculine, you know, nice. 174 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 8: I don't have a flashy car. You know, I'm not 175 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 8: dropping anything flasty. I don't know. And he was a 176 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 8: homeowner veteran. 177 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 4: Gentle assistance. 178 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 8: You know, he had great things going for himself. 179 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 4: He was a single. 180 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 8: Father of three, great dad. I have no idea. I mean, 181 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 8: he just folk positive things about me. He said it 182 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 8: wasn't it wasn't me. So that's why I said, it's 183 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 8: the state of mind. But it had to be something 184 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 8: that he saw that was like you know what this. 185 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 9: What was yourll interactions like were you like trying to 186 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 9: fix him or something or were you telling. 187 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: Him he needs to do this, this and this with 188 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: his life? Like what interactions? Nothing like that, Nothing like that. 189 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 8: I mean we would we would go to lunch, we 190 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 8: would do next, we would have great conversations. We would 191 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 8: be on the phone for hours. I your guess is 192 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 8: as good as mine. Like I said, he was a homeowner, 193 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 8: very responsible, He wasn't single fool, he wasn't single father 194 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 8: of three boys, very great with them, making moves on, 195 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 8: you know, on his own. 196 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 3: I have a question, what do you do for work? 197 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 4: Like what is. 198 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 8: So? I'm a certified nursing assistant and entrepreneur. So I 199 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 8: work for myself. I have a private client that I 200 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 8: work with and I do well with you know, with that, 201 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 8: and I have my mixed it up brand. But yeah, 202 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 8: I mean, I'm nothing over the top or crazy. 203 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 3: Were there ever? 204 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 2: So, because you're an entrepreneur and it seems like you're 205 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 2: very goal oriented, did you find yourself at any point ever? 206 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 3: Just naturally not? 207 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 2: Uh not depending on him for things like just small 208 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 2: things like needing your car washed. He's there even let 209 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 2: of them take the trash out going to him about 210 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 2: things that you need and help with Like, how how 211 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 2: good were you as saying I need help? 212 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 8: I never asked him for him, I never asked him 213 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 8: for any help. 214 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 1: I think that's the reason to leave though. 215 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 8: The only thing that I can think of, Lauren is 216 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 8: maybe like because he was a single father of three 217 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 8: and a homeowner, his money wasn't He did make that known. 218 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 8: His money wasn't where it needed to be. 219 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 2: Okay, hold on real quick, don't even continue. Can I 220 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 2: just say right here that yeah, and Brandy is the 221 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 2: man in the room. But so, what I've learned about 222 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 2: men is instead of just saying I'm not in a 223 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,559 Speaker 2: space to receive all of this right now, you guys 224 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 2: will want to stick around, will do the things, and 225 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 2: then it's like, now we're trying to figure out what 226 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 2: we did wrong when realistically, you guys are just not 227 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 2: good at being like not right now either for financi 228 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 2: especially if it's a financial reason. 229 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 9: I mean that our finances directly correlate to like our emotions, 230 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 9: your emotion. 231 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 1: Like a man out of nowhere, he just went broke. 232 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 9: I think we'll do our best in that situation, like 233 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 9: will continue to see if we can really handle it, 234 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 9: and if we can't, it's like I gotta cut tis 235 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,719 Speaker 9: Like if we can't, you know, keep up or we 236 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 9: feel like we're droughting in this situation because finances me, 237 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 9: I can't take you all as much as you would like. 238 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: Or you want to go on a trip, A dude. 239 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 9: Start an argument if you start bring up trips like 240 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 9: that A lot of that. 241 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 3: Phase of my life. 242 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm in a very good you know, my man 243 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 2: does very well for he takes very good care of me. 244 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: That's great. 245 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 3: But learning partnership is a thing. 246 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 2: And that's why I asked you that, Shamika, because like 247 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 2: I've always been, I didn't realize until I got with 248 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 2: a person who is like able to do and not 249 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,439 Speaker 2: even just financially, but just like because he's you know, 250 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 2: we're both in very good places in our career, and like, 251 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 2: even though we're so building, we're in spaces where like 252 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,520 Speaker 2: we can do for each other. 253 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 3: I'm not used to having that. 254 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 2: I'm used to being a person that does everything for 255 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 2: everybody in my businesses and work life. I literally had 256 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 2: to have a conversation recently where I was like, I 257 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 2: want you to know I don't know how to ask 258 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 2: you for help, so like when I say to you that, 259 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 2: like you know, I might get mad and be like 260 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 2: I don't need you, and it's like, no, I really do. 261 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 2: I'm just upset that I don't know how to tell 262 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,080 Speaker 2: you that and you don't just naturally know to like 263 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 2: see that in me. 264 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 3: And I was like, that's not fair. 265 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 2: So I had to have a conversation with him and 266 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,559 Speaker 2: be like, I don't even know how to tell you 267 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 2: I need you sometimes, so like I don't want because 268 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 2: he was like, well, am I supposed to like read 269 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 2: your mind? And I'm like, I don't want you to 270 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 2: read my mind. But like then I started thinking about it, 271 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, how can you even answer that? 272 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 3: Like I don't want you to read my mind? But 273 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 3: what Lauren, Like, it's either you do where you don't. 274 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 2: So I had to be real with myself and be like, okay, 275 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 2: because I've never seen a woman really rely on a man. 276 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 2: I've never had men in my life that I could 277 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 2: like fully, solely, one hundred percent rely on. But I'm 278 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 2: telling God like, Okay, I want a partner. I want 279 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 2: someone who's vision I can trust. I want to you know, 280 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 2: I'm telling God all that. Then this person is brought 281 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 2: into my life and I'm like, girl, you in your 282 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 2: own way, like you're it's like you're moving a gold 283 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 2: post and you're setting a like a a finish line 284 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 2: that he doesn't even know it is there. 285 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 9: But you know what, that's not your fault if you 286 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 9: had to do that, because whatever task needs to be done, 287 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 9: so you have to take that role. But I think 288 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 9: if you are a man that is fit to lead, 289 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,559 Speaker 9: you're gonna earn it regardless, you know what I mean. 290 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 9: So I don't think you should like, I don't think 291 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 9: you should have left. 292 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 1: You should make it. 293 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:25,079 Speaker 2: By the way, listen, if you think you lonely now, 294 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 2: you shouldn't be. 295 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,959 Speaker 4: That's just said to you. 296 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,079 Speaker 9: But I mean, if he was like fit to lead, 297 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 9: he would have, you know, eventually earned it naturally. Yeah 298 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 9: figured it out, well, yeah figured it out, you know, 299 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 9: But I was able to take out the trash. 300 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: He would do that on his own. 301 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 2: And just like you know, I use that as like 302 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 2: a surface level thing because I think sometimes with women 303 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 2: like you know, and taking it back to what ur 304 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,960 Speaker 2: Lenux said right like she was saying, how like she 305 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 2: keeps meeting men that she's so secure in herself that 306 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 2: they don't even like they don't like her because of it. 307 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: Sometimes you do meet men who are just jealous of 308 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 2: the women that they encounter. That is a thing for real, 309 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 2: Like that, Yeah happens. But I think sometimes if we 310 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 2: are looking deeper into it and looking at like where 311 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 2: both of us come in, I think everybody has these 312 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 2: insecurities around being wanted and needed, but. 313 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 3: None of us ever want to admit it. 314 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 9: We talk real quick though, because you think him approaching 315 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 9: and texting Arilenox and being on the phone and dating, 316 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 9: he didn't know who are Lennox was and he didn't expect. 317 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: It to have it. 318 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 2: Some let me tell you some some men get off 319 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 2: on I've conquered a woman like an Rilenox, and I 320 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 2: can make a woman like ri Lennox question herself and 321 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 2: women I like, I literally tell like like I have 322 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,320 Speaker 2: so many homegirls that are like like out here, Like 323 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 2: when I say like killing it, I mean killing it. 324 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 2: But there are men in their lives, and I'm like, 325 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 2: you don't see the pattern, like this man gets off 326 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 2: on making you feel like you are not who you 327 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: show up every day to the world to be. And 328 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 2: there are men because And I don't think that. It's 329 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 2: like all men are horrible, and that's why I think 330 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: men have their own insecurities. I think men have their 331 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 2: own trauma that makes that okay in their mind, and 332 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 2: it's not okay. I don't think no woman should stick 333 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 2: around for that vice versa two. I know women who 334 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 2: like they need to date men who are doing less 335 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 2: than them, and I was like, at one point I 336 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 2: thought I was gonna end up like that. 337 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 9: I think women think that all those accomplishments is going 338 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 9: to make her more attractive, and it doesn't. 339 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: I think men, let's get into that. 340 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 9: I don't think men care as long as you like 341 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 9: taking care of yourself, you're not like I guess leaning 342 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 9: us dry essentially, like I don't think men really care 343 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 9: about like. 344 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 2: I don't think y'all. Don't y'all way go find men 345 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 2: will go find a girl with nothing but one pair 346 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 2: of pennies. It will build y'all will just do anything. 347 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 9: Men literally do anything anything if she's a nice lady. 348 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 2: And because for a woman, because I think it's the stereotype, 349 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: because for a woman should because you can assess this too, 350 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 2: for a woman. If you are a woman that has 351 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 2: your job, you said, you know, you got your town home, 352 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 2: so you a homeowner, you got your car, You're comfortable 353 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 2: in your life. If you bring anybody that is other 354 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 2: than what you can equally doing for yourself, you hear 355 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 2: from friends family like they're confused why that you're even 356 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 2: dating that person. 357 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 8: A man doesn't get that. 358 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: I think of my point a little bit. 359 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 9: My point more is that men build attractive by their 360 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 9: success and money and stuff like that. And I think 361 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 9: for some reason women think it's the same for them, 362 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 9: but it's not. 363 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: I don't think men. 364 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 9: Care some dude obviously, but I don't think for the 365 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 9: most part, like we're looking for, So what are y'all 366 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 9: looking for? 367 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 3: Because when we say it's just the physical. 368 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 9: Thing, I'm not The physical is a big thing for men. 369 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 9: But like the companionship. Can I hang out with you 370 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 9: and really be. 371 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 3: So who you are as a person? 372 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we care much more about that. 373 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 2: Really, you've seen I'mika. 374 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 8: You still there, I'm here. 375 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 2: We just wanted to say thank you for calling in 376 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 2: and sharing your story and and you know, add into 377 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 2: the conversation. Did you have anything else that you wanted 378 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 2: to add? 379 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 3: Do you know? Just in what we were talking about. 380 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 8: So so yeah, I definitely brandon you. You highlighted them 381 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 8: things or you highlighted somethings, but ultimately, just be yourself 382 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,919 Speaker 8: when it comes to dating. The person that gets you 383 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 8: will get you, you know what I'm saying. And don't 384 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 8: let anybody you know, don't get try to get validation 385 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 8: from anyone, you know what I'm saying. The gentleman that 386 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,400 Speaker 8: I was talking about, guess what, he married a young 387 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 8: lady that worked with him. They had a baby together. 388 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 8: So what's for you is for you, and that's about it. 389 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 8: I love these healthy dialogues, yes, and seeing both aspects 390 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 8: of it from a man and a woman. And that's 391 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 8: the part of my brand as well, mix it up 392 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 8: my battle of the sexist game. So yeah, where can 393 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 8: people get your game? 394 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 2: And where can they follow your brand? Mix it up 395 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 2: for these conversations, and I know you said you do 396 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 2: events too. Where can they follow you to find out 397 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 2: more information? 398 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 9: Sure? 399 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:57,439 Speaker 8: So mix it up game time on Instagram, shameek A 400 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 8: licens on Instagram and the website is wa b W 401 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 8: dot mix it up game dot com. 402 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 3: Gotcha? 403 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 1: Ms are open? All right? 404 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 8: God has for me. God has for me. 405 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 4: I'm definitely I'm open. 406 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 8: And it's funny that we're speaking about sorry because she 407 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 8: was on on Instagram Live last week promoting for her 408 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 8: tour Vacancy. I think, is that what it is on Vacancy? 409 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 8: And I told her the album. Yes, I got to 410 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,919 Speaker 8: catch her when she comes to Atlanta or Charlotte. But 411 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 8: I told her, I said I can match make you 412 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 8: and she was like, what's the sign. I said, Libra. 413 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 8: She said, I can deal with a libra. They're liars, 414 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,439 Speaker 8: but I'll give it a role. So I'm putting that 415 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 8: out in the universe. Maybe I can help Miss Lennox 416 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 8: with her with her true love. So I'm open and yeah, 417 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,400 Speaker 8: I'll ask for the libras. 418 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,640 Speaker 1: Okay, thank you, Sheika, thank. 419 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,160 Speaker 6: Y'all so much. 420 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 4: I had a great time. 421 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 6: Thank you. 422 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 7: Later. 423 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 2: It's crazy though that we're at the age now where 424 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 2: like I think it's just like even if men can 425 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 2: go grab a woman with nothing and y'all love to 426 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 2: do that, that substance matters, like what I'm hearing from you, 427 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 2: even though I was like fake surprise, It do be 428 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 2: surprising though, like because there are a lot of men 429 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 2: who like substance does not matter. 430 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 3: It's all about the. 431 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 2: Look, and a lot of times are The next is 432 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 2: talking about experiencing men with things that don't like women 433 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 2: who come to the table with things. I'll try experiencing 434 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,199 Speaker 2: men with things who want to control you because of 435 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 2: those things. Like so many women operate from a place 436 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 2: of like I'm gonna show you I don't need you 437 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 2: because I don't want you to manipulate me. 438 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 3: It's sad. 439 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 2: It's not even like a thing of like the man 440 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 2: does and want you to have things or whatever. It's 441 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 2: like a defense like just in case you ever tried, 442 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 2: I'm gonna make sure I got my own and the 443 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 2: type of love that I always want to be in 444 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 2: an experience, especially like talking about marriage and stuff. I 445 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,120 Speaker 2: never want to feel like that, Yeah, like I never 446 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,159 Speaker 2: want to plan for like you know, let me go 447 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 2: build my bunker over here in case the war go 448 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 2: down over there, you know. 449 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 3: What I'm saying. 450 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 2: But like that happens too with like men that are 451 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 2: successful and that come with their own things as well. 452 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 9: And on the flip side, I have seen where like 453 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 9: very successful women do talk down on and I'm not 454 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 9: talking about all I had to get better about that, 455 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 9: they do talk down on a man that's not doing 456 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 9: as well as them. And obviously, like I said, it's 457 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 9: not all women, but I have seen those cases and 458 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 9: I feel like I can understand a man that doesn't want. 459 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: To be in that situation. 460 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 3: That's true. 461 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 2: And even I feel like too, like what I've had 462 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 2: to gather my lips to shut up and not happen 463 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 2: is I think sometimes when you're so used to being 464 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 2: like the person that everybody goes to for everything or 465 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 2: whatever ever, your attitude is so much like, but who's 466 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 2: gonna check me boo? And then you meet somebody that 467 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 2: like y'all should be, it's checks and balances across the board, 468 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,400 Speaker 2: and it just you know, you just have to learn 469 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 2: a whole new way of life vice versa. But it 470 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 2: sounds like an Ari situation. Whoever she was sitting down 471 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 2: with is a little toxic and I don't know why. 472 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 2: All right, I love you since every guy that is 473 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 2: just always so toxic, it sounds like it, she says. 474 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: She gets bored of the nice guys she did. Alright, 475 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: I know you're going to see that. 476 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 2: You're going to see this, right, And I know she 477 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,919 Speaker 2: was explaining more about the the guy that she had 478 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 2: talked about while she was on the Breakfast Club and 479 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 2: people were pissed off about her too, and that was 480 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:48,399 Speaker 2: a toxic situation as well. But very alright, when you 481 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 2: see this, what I had to learn was it's not 482 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,120 Speaker 2: about like good guy boring, bad guy not boring. It's 483 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 2: about like, all right, what am I attracted to? Why 484 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,640 Speaker 2: am I attracted to it? And what does that say 485 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 2: about myself? Because you can find somebody that like you 486 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 2: not gonna play around with and he don't have to 487 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 2: be super toxic either, Like what, No, that I'm just 488 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 2: because because I think a lot of women, especially the 489 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 2: younger you are, that's your mindset is like I want 490 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,120 Speaker 2: to run around with the bad guy, and it's like, no, 491 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 2: you can get you somebody that'll. 492 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 9: Situation need some you know, amount of that thrill. So 493 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 9: I would suggest just getting you a nice guy that 494 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,120 Speaker 9: can still fulfill some of that excitement. 495 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: I always want somehow. 496 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 2: But you know what I learned the time that I 497 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 2: was single, from my last relationship that I was in 498 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 2: for a super long time to like being by myself. 499 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 2: What I learned was that the need for that thrill, 500 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 2: or not even need for the thrill, because you can 501 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 2: have thrill. 502 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 3: In a person. 503 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,720 Speaker 2: If you're attracted to a person, things are going to 504 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 2: bring you through right that. I feel like we as 505 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,800 Speaker 2: when we met. When we say stuff like that, we 506 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 2: mask it as oh my god, I need that thrill 507 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 2: or I need him to be rough or I need this, 508 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 2: And it's like, no, you don't understand that you're worse 509 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 2: enough for someone to treat you good. You think that 510 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 2: that thrill, that excitement, there's something that it like brings 511 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,199 Speaker 2: in you, and it's a feeling that brings in you. 512 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 2: But like, to be honest, like when I started thinking 513 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,120 Speaker 2: back about like the people that I was dealing with 514 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 2: and why and the things that I like them for, 515 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 2: I'm like, dang, what do I think about myself? 516 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 9: So I've had this conversation with some female friends and 517 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 9: it seems like, especially when they hit like thirties, when 518 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,119 Speaker 9: they get more. 519 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: Mature, they more so want peace. 520 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 9: But what like I want to hear, like what your 521 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 9: point of view is, Like what kind of like changes 522 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 9: and what do you replace that what you're seeking for? 523 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 2: It doesn't when you meet the right person, it doesn't replace, 524 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,119 Speaker 2: like it's still there that whole, like you know, for me, 525 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 2: I definitely like I'm not for everybody, Like I need 526 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 2: somebody that's gonna, you know, get with me a little bit, 527 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,880 Speaker 2: you know, my mouth a little crazy. Sometimes I also 528 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 2: want somebody that, like, you know, I can take around 529 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 2: my family, my friends and you know where I'm from 530 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 2: and all that, and they're comfortable, so like cut from 531 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 2: a certain cloth. It's definitely like you know what I want. 532 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 2: But at the same time, like I thought, I remember 533 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,360 Speaker 2: being younger and thinking it was just like I thought 534 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 2: that it was so attractive that like I'm arguing and 535 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 2: I gotta you're cheating and you're it's like, okay, it's 536 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 2: the bad boy. 537 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 3: That is the stupidest thing ever, Like I it is. 538 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 9: But I get it also because some people come from 539 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 9: that world where it's like if you don't care, you're 540 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 9: quiet you yelling and showing some passion and some means 541 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:29,960 Speaker 9: you care. 542 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,680 Speaker 2: But yeah, if you were a person, y'all gonna yell 543 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,439 Speaker 2: about something and the yelling true, but the yelling can happen. 544 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 2: I don't want to yell about are you cheating on me? 545 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 2: I don't want to put my body safety at harm. 546 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 2: I don't want to raise my kids in the household 547 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 2: where they're used to seeing their dad treat me like, 548 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 2: you know ways that I don't want my daughters to 549 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 2: be treated like. It's so much things. Now that I 550 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 2: think about it, I'm like, yo, you that was crazy, 551 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 2: Like you thought that like that meant like that you 552 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,679 Speaker 2: had that man feeling a certain way. No, if you 553 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 2: really that man feeling a certain way, it wouldn't even 554 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 2: feel good to him to hurt you. Yeah, because the 555 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,639 Speaker 2: yelling and that, that's what I'm saying, Like that whole 556 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 2: passion and the thrill and like whatever, that's gonna come 557 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,479 Speaker 2: in so many other ways other than he treats you 558 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 2: horribly or he's putting his own life at risk trying 559 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,640 Speaker 2: to figure out certain things or whatever like that thrill 560 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,679 Speaker 2: comes so many things, my man, That thrill comes so 561 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 2: many different ways, and so many different like things once 562 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,120 Speaker 2: you really find and lock in with a person and wants. 563 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,120 Speaker 3: You emotionally mature. 564 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,920 Speaker 2: But like, man, I sometimes I think back even I 565 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 2: would watch old Breakfast Club segments when I was like single, 566 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 2: and I was like, just like not too long ago, 567 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 2: and I'd be sitting there like, oh, like what what 568 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 2: was my mind stay about myself at that time? 569 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:44,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. 570 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 9: I think it was you talking about it and maybe 571 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,879 Speaker 9: you could wrap it up with this, but you were 572 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 9: talking about how you accept good things, things. 573 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: Like you sorry. 574 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 9: You were talking about how you don't want to mess up, 575 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 9: like you have a good man. I'm talking about, Yeah, 576 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 9: I'm good man. How do you not like mess it up? 577 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 2: Because yeah, because because I'm so used to like bullshit. 578 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 2: And what I realize is everybody comes with their shit. 579 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 2: Like a good man doesn't mean he's a perfect man. 580 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 2: It just means he's a good man. His character is good. 581 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 2: I know he's gonna treat me good. I can trust that, 582 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 2: but I also have to trust it. So for me, 583 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 2: it was like and even now, like sometimes it's any 584 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 2: little thing, I'm like, oh nope, see that's why I 585 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 2: got my own and I'm trying to like really teach 586 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 2: myself to not be that way, because I feel like 587 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,679 Speaker 2: you you take away from your experience. Like it's like 588 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 2: if you're outside in the summertime ninety degrees, it's not 589 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 2: supposed to rain, but you're anticipating rain, so you outside, 590 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,719 Speaker 2: all bundled up hot, walk away, like you're not getting 591 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 2: to experience the full summer day. Like think about that, right, 592 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 2: because I'm really trying to explain like sometimes like the 593 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 2: place I put myself in mentally and I always have 594 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 2: to talk myself back off the ledge because even my 595 00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 2: crash out around it be like and it's like, oh, 596 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 2: you just did all of that, and it's like why. 597 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 2: So I think there are men in whom I know, 598 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 2: men who have experienced this too. But I think that's 599 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,199 Speaker 2: that's also something that like you realize not even as 600 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 2: you get older, just as you get away from certain 601 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,439 Speaker 2: things and you see people in like good situations, Like 602 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,239 Speaker 2: I always thought like I didn't know people who were 603 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 2: happily married for real, for real, like maybe only a 604 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 2: few of them. 605 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 3: But I know young people. 606 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,560 Speaker 2: I have like one, maybe two young couples that are 607 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 2: happily married too that I can think of right now. 608 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 2: Other than that, I you know, my friends that have kids, 609 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 2: like you know, it's not like you're married, you're happy, 610 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 2: and their kids are blessings. But like what I saw 611 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 2: wasn't what I wanted. So I just was doing what 612 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 2: I knew, you know what I mean. And then I realized, 613 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 2: I'm like, girl, you gonna you're never gonna enjoy that 614 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 2: summer day like this, and then you're gonna run that 615 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 2: man away, even though he not perfect too, You're gonna 616 00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 2: run him away. Like, I don't want to be the 617 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,560 Speaker 2: reason that, like I mess up something good if it's 618 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 2: not meant to be, it's not meant to be. 619 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 3: But I don't want to cause. 620 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 9: This issue I originally need to learn something I have 621 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 9: to learn with Like it's not being so comfortable like 622 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 9: arguing all the time, like trying to like talk it 623 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:11,680 Speaker 9: out more because I kind of grew up in the 624 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 9: househo where like my parents like would argue, but they're 625 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 9: really homies. They don't just it's like high school, yeah, 626 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 9: they were like at the end of the day, they're 627 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,360 Speaker 9: probably watching TV. So I always thought that was like 628 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 9: you could really argue all the time and still be 629 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 9: like that's it. But like some people just don't walk 630 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 9: you know, yeah, like you are a bring up because 631 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 9: where are you into? But like it was confused above, 632 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,160 Speaker 9: like some people it's just like that. 633 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,440 Speaker 3: So man, it's so much. 634 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 2: Y'll here that you gotta figure out relationships like so 635 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: much and. 636 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: There's no right answer. That's this constant learning. 637 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 2: No, and sometimes to be honest with you, I feel 638 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 2: like like what our Lenninx is talking about in the 639 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 2: dating phase, sometimes you experience stuff like that so you 640 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 2: can know what you don't want to experience again too, 641 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 2: So you know, everybody go through all right, girl, you're 642 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 2: gonna be good. You might need to just take some 643 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 2: time of like like just cleanse to yourself, like I 644 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 2: don't know. But this has been another episode of the 645 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 2: Latest with Laurada Rosa. We were on the line with 646 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 2: Lorda Rosa today talking. 647 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 3: All things men and you. 648 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 2: Know how they can't handle when you're bringing your own 649 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 2: table to the table. Great, let's see you in the 650 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,120 Speaker 2: next episode.