Speaker 1: I won't let my body outly outwit everything that I'm made.
Speaker 1: Don't won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning
Speaker 1: to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I
Speaker 1: feel free, I know who every part of me it's
Speaker 1: beautiful and then will always out with if you feel
Speaker 1: it with your hands and there she'll love to the
Speaker 1: food that. Let's say good day and did you and
Speaker 1: die out Happy Saturday outweigh fam. My expert guest for
Speaker 1: the next three weeks is Riley Laster, which Riley, you're
Speaker 1: a dietitian, but I know you as the person that
Speaker 1: makes me laugh on Instagram and gives me great anti
Speaker 1: diet culture competence, really humorous, funny, awesome way. And your handle, well,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll tell everybody else your handle in case
Speaker 1: they're not already calling it was just your at Riley
Speaker 1: Leicester R I L E Y l A s t
Speaker 1: E R. Welcome to the shop. Hello. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: just so excited to have you on. And when I
Speaker 1: first started following you on Instagram, I think someone had
Speaker 1: posted one of your funny videos and it resonated with
Speaker 1: me and I thought, oh, this is this is a
Speaker 1: great follow because I want that encouragement. I want that.
Speaker 1: I love that there's humor mixed in with it though
Speaker 1: it's not and when you're coming from someone that you
Speaker 1: have your own disordered getting disorder, and so I thought
Speaker 1: I was just following that, like you this, you were
Speaker 1: sharing some of your experience and then you know, making
Speaker 1: funny reels about it. Well then I go to your
Speaker 1: page and I realized you're a dietitian, and so then
Speaker 1: the light bulb went off. I said, Okay, I'm reaching
Speaker 1: out to her because I want her to come on
Speaker 1: and be a resident expert, a resident guest for three weeks.
Speaker 1: And so here we are, and I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: just getting like a getty girl sitting awesome on Zoo
Speaker 1: from this person that I only know from Instagram. But
Speaker 1: you know, since I mentioned that, you do have a
Speaker 1: personal story for week one, if you just be willing
Speaker 1: to share some of that, what the journey looked like
Speaker 1: for you and then how you got to the other
Speaker 1: side and where you a dietitian during it before, like
Speaker 1: give us some of those details and then you know
Speaker 1: that that story of hope. Because I feel like some
Speaker 1: people listening and you and I were talking before we recorded.
Speaker 1: Is when your knee deep in it, you just feel like, well,
Speaker 1: this is life, this is how we live, and my
Speaker 1: brain is always going to be thinking these crazy thoughts
Speaker 1: and there's the way and it's miserable, but oh well, yeah,
Speaker 1: what can I do about it? Yeah? Absolutely so. Um,
Speaker 1: my story with dieting is heavy and clanating, Like I
Speaker 1: was obsessed with it, you know, as most people did.
Speaker 1: In the early two TAN scirled Pinterest, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: every day, and I found a girl on there who
Speaker 1: was my age, and she was a clean eating blogger.
Speaker 1: She was on Tumbler. Actually I'm going to date myself
Speaker 1: a little bit Tumbler. I don't know if that exists anymore.
Speaker 1: But um, and she just she had a story that
Speaker 1: really it touched me. She had been self conscious about
Speaker 1: her white in high school. She was my age. She
Speaker 1: had really made strides in her mental health with what
Speaker 1: she ate, with how she worked out, and I thought
Speaker 1: I want to be like her. So at the time,
Speaker 1: it was kind of a perfect storm because I had
Speaker 1: had a actually had a friend passed away a couple
Speaker 1: of years before, and I dealt with some depression. I
Speaker 1: was in a relationship that wasn't great. And I was
Speaker 1: a little baby dietitian student. I had done a nutrition
Speaker 1: one hundred class. I knew just enough about nutrition to
Speaker 1: get myself up in trouble. I knew about calories and
Speaker 1: b M I and white stuff like that, and I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to try this clean eating thing
Speaker 1: because I want to look the part of being a dietitian.
Speaker 1: You know, dieticians aren't size ten, size twelve, there size
Speaker 1: zero two four, and they are, you know, cute, these
Speaker 1: cute little girls that run around and if you do
Speaker 1: trendy foods and stuff like that. And I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like I fit that part because you know, my family
Speaker 1: goes to eat fried catfish on the weekend, so we aren't,
Speaker 1: you know, those super food kind of people. But I
Speaker 1: really got into what she was selling. And I don't
Speaker 1: hold any ill will towards her. She was, you know,
Speaker 1: looking back, she was struggling like I was, and I
Speaker 1: kind of just became obsessed with it. I have that
Speaker 1: personality that I love to dig in, and I think
Speaker 1: that's a big personality type when it comes to disorder eating.
Speaker 1: When it comes to eating disporders, do you like to
Speaker 1: dig in do the research. I love numbers. I love
Speaker 1: to say this food has this many calories in it,
Speaker 1: and I know that I'm eating you know, half of it,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna lock it in a app that tells
Speaker 1: me what I need. I love that. I loved the
Speaker 1: whole structure. I love structure. And that's a big thing
Speaker 1: with um disordered eating is the control of it all.
Speaker 1: Your life can be totally falling apart outside of eating,
Speaker 1: but you really reach for that control. And that's something
Speaker 1: I do want to bring up. These diets are so
Speaker 1: geared towards your lifestyle when it's kind of falling apart. Honestly,
Speaker 1: my life was very messy, and clean eating was there
Speaker 1: to pick it up. And your life has fallen apart, well,
Speaker 1: here's twenty one day fix. You're a broken chill of
Speaker 1: a human being, Well you've got the whole dirty diet
Speaker 1: to help you. They really do kind of fill in
Speaker 1: the gap and prey on people who need help in
Speaker 1: other ways, probably mental health experts, but we seek control
Speaker 1: through food instead. And I really didn't know that I
Speaker 1: would be so obsessed with the clean eating hold the journey.
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved finding your recipe and trying
Speaker 1: to make it help healthy. I loved um seven in
Speaker 1: ingredients making it lower and fat, and you know, I'm
Speaker 1: telling my family this and they're like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: this is horrible. They hated it. Two things I want
Speaker 1: to throw in based on you know what you just said,
Speaker 1: like the you might need to work on something else.
Speaker 1: So why not just throw yourself into a twenty one
Speaker 1: day situation because for me, and I'm sure for others
Speaker 1: maybe I don't want to speak for you, but it
Speaker 1: numbs it out. It numbs out what you really to do,
Speaker 1: and so then that's just suppressing and then a big cycle,
Speaker 1: and so you might as well invest in getting help
Speaker 1: in that other areas that rely on it by any means.
Speaker 1: And then also the substituting to make things clean. Why
Speaker 1: we if I could have all the hours back on
Speaker 1: you know, Thanksgiving morning trying to make some gluten free,
Speaker 1: dairy free beacon whatever stuffing for my nobody would end
Speaker 1: up eating. Besides, like I would have a lot of
Speaker 1: time back. I made clean new Teller once and my
Speaker 1: boyfriend at the time was now my husband, who saw
Speaker 1: me through all of this. Bless his heart, as we
Speaker 1: say in the South, bless his heart. He was like,
Speaker 1: what is that brown liquid on the counter, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: new teller, duh, and he's like, no, it was horrible.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't even go down the garbage disposal. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it was. It was disgusting, but you could
Speaker 1: not tell me that because that was my like gateway
Speaker 1: of health. And I was losing weight. And as much
Speaker 1: as I was saying, um, it's all about health, this
Speaker 1: is just making me healthier, it was that I was
Speaker 1: losing weight for the first time ever and people were noticing.
Speaker 1: I was getting attention that I didn't even know I wanted.
Speaker 1: Because right now I'm like, oh my gosh, nobody looked
Speaker 1: at me ever. And that's how I feel like I
Speaker 1: was back then. But when people start giving you attention
Speaker 1: over something that you never thought I thought you would have,
Speaker 1: it felt good and it fed into it. That's why
Speaker 1: I never I never comment on anybody's white loss. And
Speaker 1: I know sometimes that can come across this road because
Speaker 1: it's not saying that you didn't work hard. It's saying
Speaker 1: that you have a big percent a chance to gain
Speaker 1: this back. You're most likely going to gain this way back.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to be the one that really
Speaker 1: praised you for it and has now given you anxiety
Speaker 1: when you gain it back, because my thoughts weren't I'm
Speaker 1: getting all this attention, but I know deep down I
Speaker 1: can't keep doing this when I gained all the way back,
Speaker 1: or people are gonna hate me, or people are not
Speaker 1: gonna be my friends, They're gonna be disgusted to go
Speaker 1: out with me because I didn't have self control to
Speaker 1: keep the weight off. And oh, those thoughts keep you
Speaker 1: so entrenched in diet culture, and it's just it's sad
Speaker 1: and it's heartbreaking because most of the people in your
Speaker 1: life don't care. They don't care how much you why,
Speaker 1: they love you no matter what. And I wish I
Speaker 1: could have really told myself back then, but you couldn't
Speaker 1: tell me anything. What was the light bulb moment for you?
Speaker 1: So you had that you were a baby dietitian and
Speaker 1: the thing tumbler, and then that spiraled into this clean
Speaker 1: eating obsession and clearly it was getting toxic and out
Speaker 1: of control. So what what snapped you back? Like pow?
Speaker 1: And it seems this though now your life is a
Speaker 1: one eight? What snapped you back like how? And it
Speaker 1: seems this though, Now your life is a one eight.
Speaker 1: So what took you there? I did the clean eating
Speaker 1: for three years, and most people, I'll say most dietitian
Speaker 1: accounts that I followed the do teach into debating, which
Speaker 1: is what I eventually got into. They tell about my
Speaker 1: clients hit rock bottom. I'm so stubborn. I hit rock
Speaker 1: bottom probably like seven times. I would you know, I
Speaker 1: can't do this for one more day, but white, I'm
Speaker 1: going to be and people I went to high school
Speaker 1: within a month, I'm gonna lose the weight or um gosh,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't able to wear those jeans anymore. Let me
Speaker 1: just give it one more good try. And I had
Speaker 1: so stubborn. I just kept hitting this rock bottom, but
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be rock bottom enough. I just could not
Speaker 1: get enough of I guess I just I have a
Speaker 1: tough time learning my lesson. So finally, I'll say it
Speaker 1: wasn't even from a sense of um desperation. It was
Speaker 1: more so may just saying I can do better than this.
Speaker 1: I want to have kids one day, and I want
Speaker 1: to be able to be a good role model, and
Speaker 1: this is not being a good role model. Also, I
Speaker 1: had been married a couple of years at this point,
Speaker 1: and I felt like I had never given my husband
Speaker 1: my you know, undivided attention. I was always we were
Speaker 1: out to eat, and I'm looking at the calories on
Speaker 1: my phone of what's on the menive, and I'm just
Speaker 1: I wanted to see, how can my relationships, but not
Speaker 1: just you know, my marriage, but my friendships, what can
Speaker 1: they look like outside of diet culture. That's the best
Speaker 1: decision I ever made, because even if you think it's
Speaker 1: not taking up your attention, it is. It absolutely is.
Speaker 1: Even if you think, oh, I've got a good handle
Speaker 1: on this, I'm not obsessed with dieting. You probably are
Speaker 1: more than you realize. And I didn't realize how much
Speaker 1: time it took up in my day to day. It's
Speaker 1: insane to think about now, but I really did put
Speaker 1: a lot of effort, because that's the type of person
Speaker 1: I am. I put a lot into what I'm working on,
Speaker 1: and for good or bad, and that's that's a lesson.
Speaker 1: I had to learn to put it into the right things.
Speaker 1: And So, what did your husband noticed or did he
Speaker 1: enjoy most about you making that transition into recovery. About
Speaker 1: a year after Hey looked at me, and I will
Speaker 1: never forget this. He said, my life sucked when you
Speaker 1: were eating right stakes I'm like, excuse me. He's like
Speaker 1: it was horrible. I'm like, but I was so thin,
Speaker 1: and he's like, I don't care about that. You were
Speaker 1: not you. Your personality was gone. I mean just a
Speaker 1: big quite honest. He's like, your butt was gone. I
Speaker 1: mean it was. It was awful. I'm like, really, like
Speaker 1: you noticed, because I mayn't come on, most men just
Speaker 1: don't notice stuff. So I'm thinking he doesn't even notice
Speaker 1: what's going on with me. This is not gonna make,
Speaker 1: you know, a difference to him, and it really did.
Speaker 1: Just date nights where we were actually talking versus me
Speaker 1: scrolling on my phone looking at you know, what can
Speaker 1: I eat at this restaurant? What do I need to
Speaker 1: meal prep for next week where I can maybe lose
Speaker 1: one pound? It just the mental energy I was putting
Speaker 1: into this, and it was nice that he noticed. I
Speaker 1: will say it was nice that he noticed a difference.
Speaker 1: I mean, it does free up so much space, because yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't realize when you're in it. But I'll just
Speaker 1: speak for someone that's out of it. Oh, you get
Speaker 1: so much brain space back and your world is no
Speaker 1: longer small. You get to variance different things with your
Speaker 1: loved ones, with your friends, you get to eat different food,
Speaker 1: You get to enjoy a weekend get away like a vacation,
Speaker 1: with having to find where you're going to go work
Speaker 1: out and figure out all the different places you can
Speaker 1: be more you know, breezy, You just go with the
Speaker 1: flow and enjoy what's happening instead of freaking out. It's
Speaker 1: not your fault. There's no shame or guilt. If you're
Speaker 1: feeling that right now like you are in it's it's
Speaker 1: it's a thing, and it's a it's a disorder, it's
Speaker 1: a disease. You just your eyes sometimes are blind to it.
Speaker 1: You don't even realize what it's happening. But then once
Speaker 1: that's lifted, you will start to feel that weight come
Speaker 1: off and you will it'll just and it doesn't happen overnight,
Speaker 1: but suddenly you'll I know, for me, I took a
Speaker 1: weekend to go visit a friend that I hadn't seen
Speaker 1: in a few years, and I know the last time
Speaker 1: I was with that friend it was very I had
Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety about the trap and then when
Speaker 1: I went in recovery. I went, had a great time,
Speaker 1: came home like there was no drama there and it
Speaker 1: was all in my head. And you know what's funny
Speaker 1: about that trip, that specific person is my mom made
Speaker 1: this dessert called cherry very on a cloud. Do you
Speaker 1: know what's oh it is? It's so good. So my mom,
Speaker 1: she was the only one that made it. She's she's
Speaker 1: since passed away. And you know, my friend, I knew
Speaker 1: that I love that recipe, and a few years ago
Speaker 1: when I went to visit her, she made it and
Speaker 1: I barely ate it because you didn't fit into my
Speaker 1: you know, but I didn't want food. But obviously she
Speaker 1: noticed I barely ate it. And I kid you not, Riley.
Speaker 1: Whenever I was getting ready to go back to visit her,
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, I wonder if she's gonna make a
Speaker 1: cloud in recovery now? And that's ready, Oh let's go.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. And I get there, she made me anything,
Speaker 1: and I kind of like, uh, you know, just casually,
Speaker 1: I kind of thought you were going to make a
Speaker 1: chair burry on cloud and she said, oh, shoot, I
Speaker 1: would have She goes, but I just never know what,
Speaker 1: you know, diet or whatever you're on. I don't want to.
Speaker 1: She's like, honestly, I didn't want to attempt you or
Speaker 1: do like she was being respected. She was, she didn't
Speaker 1: want to. It seemed like last time she messed with
Speaker 1: what I had going on, and that broke my heart
Speaker 1: as a friend. And so I apologized to her and
Speaker 1: asked for forgiveness, and you know, she looked at me
Speaker 1: and I won't forget this because I don't know that
Speaker 1: a lot of friends would respond this way. Some might
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I mean that's that was sucking me
Speaker 1: like that, and that's okay if you My sister and
Speaker 1: other friends have said up like your like your husband,
Speaker 1: my life stuck eating rice cakes. But she looked at
Speaker 1: me and she said, Amy, for years, you were always
Speaker 1: trying different things, And yeah, that's something that I knew
Speaker 1: about you, but I also liked a lot of other
Speaker 1: things about you too, So I just would ignore that.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, thank you past that because
Speaker 1: it was a because it is it's your whole life
Speaker 1: at some point. And yeah, it's so great when people
Speaker 1: can say past that, because a lot of times we
Speaker 1: can't say past that. We see the diet or we
Speaker 1: are on a diet, this is me. I post on
Speaker 1: Instagram a lot. Obviously. One thing I really try to
Speaker 1: convey is you are not your diet. You may be
Speaker 1: doing the keto, but you have so many more things
Speaker 1: about you that are you know, interesting. Stop just hiding
Speaker 1: your identity in your diet. Be you and remember those
Speaker 1: things about yourself. Because this diet is gonna come and go.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be on to another one. But the personality
Speaker 1: and the person you are, let that shine because diet
Speaker 1: culture will straight up dim you when it gets the chance.
Speaker 1: It will turn out your light. And uh, it's tough.
Speaker 1: It's tough when you say, a frien going through that too.
Speaker 1: For sure. I love the light that you are on Instagram,
Speaker 1: which will it'll lead us into you know, what we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about next week, So I encourage people
Speaker 1: to make sure to listen next Saturday because that's what
Speaker 1: we're going to break down, your social media present and
Speaker 1: your funny videos and just what that's been like for you.
Speaker 1: I'm so curious to talk about that. But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: people can go check you out on Instagram again. Your
Speaker 1: handle is that Riley Laster, and I love your bio
Speaker 1: Dietitian and big fan of intuitive eating. So thank you
Speaker 1: Riley for for joining us the next three weeks and
Speaker 1: for sharing a little bit of your story. And you know, honestly,
Speaker 1: just to your husband real quick, you can tell him
Speaker 1: rice cakes do suck like but also I'm still kind
Speaker 1: of enjoyed them. I don't eat them the same way
Speaker 1: I used to, but I still know if I have
Speaker 1: like a love hate relationship with them, because I mean,
Speaker 1: sometimes you slather some nut butter and on there and
Speaker 1: it's real good, or you'd use it to dipping hummus,
Speaker 1: and like, I'm a big fan of that. Would love
Speaker 1: to get the thin rice cakes, the really thin ones,
Speaker 1: and I put nanny. It's like a sandwich. You're cheating,
Speaker 1: like if you're in a herb. I just put manannaise
Speaker 1: on both sides and sea salt and then I get
Speaker 1: a slice of cheese, and I like, that's what I make. Really,
Speaker 1: I'm running out the door. So rice cakes are not evil,
Speaker 1: absolutely not. Unfortunately likely back in the day what he's
Speaker 1: speaking when we were probably literally eating a plain, dry,
Speaker 1: boring rice cake. Yes, food is so intentional. It's about
Speaker 1: how you use it, it really is. You can take
Speaker 1: the best things that tastes the best and make them terrible.
Speaker 1: I just want, you know, the rice cakes Yea of
Speaker 1: America coming after this. It's like, I don't know, because yeah,
Speaker 1: I love a crunch, so that's why it appealed to me.
Speaker 1: And then I took it down a dark road. All right. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you Riley, and we'll see you all next Saturday.
Speaker 1: By