Speaker 1: Start Up, start Up, Brooklyn, start Up, Brooklyn buys dot Up.
Speaker 1: They're making Noise dot Up show. Oh yeah, it's eighty
Speaker 1: six now, but people even know. We're talking about the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys podcast. One of us is healthy today, dude.
Speaker 1: You know me? I never get sick? Ever? How many
Speaker 1: is you know me? Bertie? Uh been a lot? And
Speaker 1: when did you ever know me to be under the weather,
Speaker 1: sleep late, call out sick for whatever. You're always the
Speaker 1: one that says, oh, I don't get sick, and everybody
Speaker 1: hates you for it. Yeah. There was at one time
Speaker 1: that I was hung over so badly and I did
Speaker 1: because d Yeah that one time. That was like ten
Speaker 1: years ago though a long time ago. Yeah. So I'm
Speaker 1: usually on my ship, but I can't kick this and
Speaker 1: I'm blaming it on my allergies. I am in a
Speaker 1: in an awful way right now. Um, I got my
Speaker 1: noses running. I feel pressure on my cheek bones in
Speaker 1: the front when I pressed like the sides of my noses.
Speaker 1: What my nose me to my lips? I thought you
Speaker 1: said you pressed the sides of your noses. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: an Italian, so I might I think I might have
Speaker 1: to you know, it's so freaking big. But look, look
Speaker 1: I'm pressing on it and I feel compression there. You
Speaker 1: know what you should do for that? What? Don't press
Speaker 1: that easier than does? But it's now causing my left
Speaker 1: moler on the top to hurt me a little bit.
Speaker 1: And but I checked my my temperature several times and
Speaker 1: I still oh my god, I used the rectal thermometer
Speaker 1: in my mouth, that's the problem. Yeah, No, I was
Speaker 1: five for all three times, so I don't have a fever.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. What do you think if you
Speaker 1: weren't drinking last night? What are you? What are you
Speaker 1: in the last few days? Because my everyone in my
Speaker 1: family has allergies but me, and they're all destroyed this week.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my wife's taken double whatever where it is
Speaker 1: she takes well, I took alive or whatever. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I went around the room asking people what I should
Speaker 1: take for this. I wouldn't even know. The first thing, Hike,
Speaker 1: don't come to me because you're all Sniffley and Snizy
Speaker 1: the room. By the way, speaking of Sniffley knows, we
Speaker 1: did a bit on the elvist Red Morning Show today,
Speaker 1: which today's Thursday, The ninth. Okay, So we were talking
Speaker 1: about dumb reasons you break up with people, and somebody
Speaker 1: texted in, I was dating a guy much taller than
Speaker 1: me and his nose was running and it ran out
Speaker 1: of his nose into mine, and so, okay, I would
Speaker 1: definitely break up with the person for that. But how
Speaker 1: what were you doing? How were you kissing where your
Speaker 1: nose nostrils were facing up? You know you're that's a
Speaker 1: little redundant. I apologize. Your nostrils are pointing up and
Speaker 1: his are down? Like what kind of crazy? Yeah, like
Speaker 1: I could see if it like it landed in her mouth,
Speaker 1: if she was upside down on the bed. Well, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Where they would doing like a sixty
Speaker 1: nine of the faces, Like what do you Her head
Speaker 1: could have been hanging off the bed and you but
Speaker 1: that wouldn't mean that I had to do then being
Speaker 1: tall her point, Why don't you're saying the reverse there?
Speaker 1: But know what she said was he was taller than me,
Speaker 1: and so I think maybe kissing, but not upping into
Speaker 1: our nose unless you like, go up. Was she snorting
Speaker 1: in at the time it dropped by? I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know that's gross. You know when your love
Speaker 1: your love and you you do things and you overlook things.
Speaker 1: But it's not it's not it's not funny. It's not
Speaker 1: funny at all. It's not funny. Oh, I do have
Speaker 1: a music story coming up. I can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 1: Those are the that's the commercial with the Booger family, right,
Speaker 1: the Green Boogers. Yeah. Yeah, So I am a bad
Speaker 1: sick person. I am. I am a baby when I'm sick.
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I'm the good time.
Speaker 1: I'm the worst. I'm like I can't do anything. And
Speaker 1: this robbing your girlfriend, like, go, suck it up, let's go.
Speaker 1: She doesn't see me when I'm sick. She's like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to deal with you because because when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, I would get babied and get coddled.
Speaker 1: Of course, Mommy, your mommy, my mom's Yeah, my mom
Speaker 1: is in the area. When I'm sick, I'll make you soup.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's my mom. I don't have that. So when
Speaker 1: i'm alone, I just sit there like my wife is
Speaker 1: very good to me. But when I'm sick, like, get
Speaker 1: over it. I I just because I because I go,
Speaker 1: I take care of the kids. I keep moving. I
Speaker 1: don't have the luxury that right. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be sexist, but it's usually but well, they're saying a
Speaker 1: complimentary way that they keep moving. That's fine. They're born
Speaker 1: that way. They can. They can handle all kinds of ship.
Speaker 1: We can't. The slightest. Oh my god, I'm convinced that
Speaker 1: it hits men differently. You are. Yeah, I think i'd
Speaker 1: like to. I think I think the flu to a
Speaker 1: man's biology, the testosterone interacts with the flu, making it
Speaker 1: much worse. I think when women get the flu, it's
Speaker 1: it's like a four on a one to ten, and
Speaker 1: they think it's what we have and they muscle through it.
Speaker 1: And I'm only saying that not to be offensive to women,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying it because you guys handle it like
Speaker 1: it's a four. And if it is at ten and
Speaker 1: you're handling like it's a four, God bless you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no pun intended. I just I feel like I've never
Speaker 1: seen even when my wife is really sick, she'll go
Speaker 1: all right, I gotta go, and she and she's fine,
Speaker 1: And like here I lay on the couch and I
Speaker 1: feel like someone kicked me in the face. The room
Speaker 1: is spinning. I get that pain over my eyes. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm attributing it to the pollen in the air and
Speaker 1: the trees and full bloom and all that not. They're
Speaker 1: not there yet. Um. You know. It was last summer,
Speaker 1: in the middle of July, after we came back from
Speaker 1: our two week break on this very podcast where I
Speaker 1: told you the story of what happened to me on
Speaker 1: the fourth of July where Robin and I and another
Speaker 1: couple went to the Jersey shore and that we were approached.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the swingers, swingers Aladro and his and his wife.
Speaker 1: I'll have you alla want you? Yeah, yeah, So, okay,
Speaker 1: remember that story. I don't know you if you listening
Speaker 1: to you heard me tell story. And they wanted to
Speaker 1: hook up with us, and the guy kept leaving and
Speaker 1: then he kept coming, doubling back and he's like I'm back,
Speaker 1: and then he was hitting you know, he's like, feel
Speaker 1: my wife's movies. Feel my wife's movies. In case you
Speaker 1: hadn't heard it, we're recapping slightly. Yeah, And so he
Speaker 1: wanted like the girls to touch each other and everything.
Speaker 1: So he was going to anniversary and we're gonna we
Speaker 1: want we want to take you to our penthouse down
Speaker 1: the street where we could all party all night and
Speaker 1: watched the sun comes. All right, so um, this one
Speaker 1: more day weekend, I was at the shore with Robin
Speaker 1: and the same couple, and we hadn't seen each other
Speaker 1: in a while, and in a while or since last year?
Speaker 1: Have you seen them since? Yea twice? Oh you never
Speaker 1: mentioned that. Yeah, we hung out a couple of times.
Speaker 1: You hung out, you know, he wants to bang your
Speaker 1: girlfriend and hung I would no, no, no, this is
Speaker 1: my friend, my friend Joe and his girlfriend and the swingers.
Speaker 1: No no, we never made friends with the swingers. As
Speaker 1: you looking forwards me and in four of us, it
Speaker 1: was the swinger night was Robin and I and my
Speaker 1: friend Joe and his girlfriend. And it was a third couple, right,
Speaker 1: and it was a third couple that we're hitting on.
Speaker 1: The third couple was not there this weekend? Well well, well,
Speaker 1: so Robin and I were out to dinner reminiscing with
Speaker 1: Joe and his girlfriend placed the Jersey Shore and Asbury
Speaker 1: Park called Brando's not a sponsor, and we were having
Speaker 1: Italian food and so after this, let's go to the
Speaker 1: rooftop of the Asbury Hotel, not a sponsor, and we're like, sure,
Speaker 1: let's go to the Asbury Hotel. And then Joe turns
Speaker 1: to me as like, how funny would it be if
Speaker 1: aldro and his wife were just where we left him
Speaker 1: on the fourth of July? And I said, you know,
Speaker 1: I said, this is a fifty fifty shot that that
Speaker 1: guy will be up there, because if you think about it, well,
Speaker 1: it's either he's there he's not. But there's a very
Speaker 1: good chance. He's a very good chance he will be
Speaker 1: there because that's his hanging, that's where that's his nest.
Speaker 1: You almost saw his hang. Well, I didn't want to
Speaker 1: see his hang. So sure enough we leave Brandos, we
Speaker 1: go to the rooftop. As been walking towards the back
Speaker 1: of the very hotel rooftop, there was Alejandro hitting on
Speaker 1: a couple of girls like you ladies are gorgeous, You're
Speaker 1: all gorgeous. I'm gonna buy you drinks, the same lines
Speaker 1: he used on us on the fourth of July. And
Speaker 1: Robin turns to me and she that's him, And then
Speaker 1: she goes to Joe. There he is, and we're all
Speaker 1: looking at each other like, holy sh it. The guy
Speaker 1: was there he was back because that's his haunt, that's
Speaker 1: where he goes. Yeah, so we uh, we avoided him.
Speaker 1: He didn't recognize us, but I just thought it was fun.
Speaker 1: He didn't recognize you. What a whore? He tried to
Speaker 1: sleep with you? Yeah, but you know what need people?
Speaker 1: He does that to every summer. I get it. You
Speaker 1: think that he takes time off. Did you have the
Speaker 1: conversation again with Robin? What conversation I have any conversation
Speaker 1: with her? Like so a year later, like she were
Speaker 1: willing to talk to a andro No d This guy
Speaker 1: is like looks like Pitbull on crack, like real crack,
Speaker 1: not psycho out of his mind, just just not Okay,
Speaker 1: he's ugly. Pit Bull ugly, that's what you're saying, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: ugly people just really burnt down. Pit Bull on crack
Speaker 1: probably still looks like Pitbull. I'm gonna be like, okay,
Speaker 1: Pitople on meth, it still probably looks like pit Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you're on meth, you got you got like half teeth,
Speaker 1: you know, teeth. I haven't done methsine third grade, so
Speaker 1: it's me up. It isn't yeah, oh my god. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So anyway, we'll move on, but I just would I
Speaker 1: wanted to bring it full. Sorry, you're gonna after we
Speaker 1: finished this podcast go back and edit all the no,
Speaker 1: you get what you pay for a right, Yeah, which
Speaker 1: if you guys paid ten cents of podcast, he would
Speaker 1: take those. You know, we should revisit that. Well. You
Speaker 1: know a bunch of people have tweeted me saying that
Speaker 1: they would pay ten cents an episode. Yeah, and people
Speaker 1: would tell tell me that they pay a quarter. You
Speaker 1: know what else? People have suggested on the text more
Speaker 1: tissues for the co hosts. There's that, and you know
Speaker 1: I have some in my back pocket. But they also
Speaker 1: suggested that we opened up a Brooklyn Boys merch store.
Speaker 1: And what would that look like? And I'm thinking, like
Speaker 1: I could totally see Slice for Life t shirts that
Speaker 1: that's right right up front. All you should jar your
Speaker 1: mom's tomato sauce with Brooklyn Boys tomato sauce, Marinara. Should
Speaker 1: we open a merch store right now? It's great? Should
Speaker 1: we open a merch store? I don't know, maybe I
Speaker 1: mean that's greedy. Well, if it's a real Brooklyn Boys,
Speaker 1: like a Brooklyn thing, we should open it up and
Speaker 1: then burn it down for insurance. Would people wear would
Speaker 1: people we'd steal the hub caps? Oh god, we would.
Speaker 1: Actually would people buy a Brooklyn Boys Slice for Life
Speaker 1: T shirt? If I believe they would, I would. What
Speaker 1: would that look like? Would it have pizza on it?
Speaker 1: Of course it would have PiZZ I think you'd have
Speaker 1: real pizza on it. I think it like a scratch
Speaker 1: And I think it asked that pizza stains needs to
Speaker 1: smell like pepperoni. Uh, talk to Alejandro about that, listen. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I would have T shirts. Um, I would
Speaker 1: have Brooklyn Boys baseball hats and maybe a Brooklyn Boys
Speaker 1: pizza cutter. Oh, one of those things. What about? What
Speaker 1: about for the women? They can't use a pizza cutter?
Speaker 1: They can't have a shirt, a baseball cap? What women
Speaker 1: don't with baseball caps? Is there anything sexier than a
Speaker 1: woman with her head through a ponytail? That's pretty, it's
Speaker 1: pretty sexy, But I think a lot of most women
Speaker 1: don't like. What are the general eyes reporting for duty?
Speaker 1: What about specific items for that women would use, Like
Speaker 1: an accessory that only a woman could use. I mean
Speaker 1: like a handbag, Brooklyn Boys handbag? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Stolen sap? Holder, what do you what do you mean
Speaker 1: like bedazzled flask? Bedazzled? Well, men don't want to bedazzled.
Speaker 1: We know men that would want to bedazzled flask. And
Speaker 1: why would women want a flask? We don't. We're not alcoholics,
Speaker 1: not that you're an alcoholsk somebody. We don't talk about alcohol.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be about this podcast, So it has to
Speaker 1: be something specific. FedEx package is Brooklyn boys on it?
Speaker 1: Do you like that? What about what about a fuck you?
Speaker 1: A oh f you Ape seventy seven shirt? I would
Speaker 1: wear that absolutely, I would wear that. We have no
Speaker 1: relevance in society, doesn't matter if some people don't mean
Speaker 1: you're at your local state fair and you wear the
Speaker 1: F you Ape seventy seven. If somebody knows that, comes
Speaker 1: comes over to you, if somebody comes over you. And
Speaker 1: if you had a shirt that said hashtag figot or
Speaker 1: or Sagel, hashtag spagel, that'd be that be tremendous with
Speaker 1: a picture of a bagel in a bag, like a
Speaker 1: bag of bagels and under it hashtag spagel. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: that you know, there's an instant bonding moment and then
Speaker 1: like you know, like a circle with a line through
Speaker 1: it over the bag, like say no to Spagel's. That'd
Speaker 1: be great. That's the shirt. Someone's gonna make that for
Speaker 1: me in a navy or a dark gray in an
Speaker 1: Excel bring it. I'm thinking, no, it would would I
Speaker 1: actually know what you know that that might actually we
Speaker 1: might have some boy Spagel's, Yeah pizza and Spagel's Pizza, Spagel's,
Speaker 1: ohs bagels frozen anyway, I don't know. This is all
Speaker 1: just all right. So, speaking of Brooklyn, I don't want
Speaker 1: Jersey promises on this podcast. I wanna, yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to combine Brooklyn with the Jersey Shore. So we we
Speaker 1: did a live show on Friday at Jenkinson's Boardwalk at
Speaker 1: Jenkinson's Point Pleasant Beach in right, yeah, all right. So
Speaker 1: it's a it's a massive it's a fairly large boardwalk
Speaker 1: with the carnival games and food and ride. You know,
Speaker 1: you know what we're talking about. If there was anywhere
Speaker 1: near at Ocean or a leave. You've been at the
Speaker 1: Iowa State Fair, but it's on a boardwalk all the time.
Speaker 1: But it's in the summer. So we were did the
Speaker 1: broadcast Friday and my wife says, oh, the kids want
Speaker 1: to go to the beach. Now, let's go to the beach.
Speaker 1: If you if you know anything about New Jersey, you
Speaker 1: look at a map, it's got, you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of hundred miles of coastline on whatever it is. And uh,
Speaker 1: they decided they want to go to the same beach
Speaker 1: we were out on Friday. I said, it's all these beaches.
Speaker 1: We want to go to Point Pleasant, we want go
Speaker 1: to the rides whatever. Not a sponsor. So we drive
Speaker 1: down on Sunday because it's not Memorial Day. Day is Monday.
Speaker 1: So we're like, go because you can't drive down there
Speaker 1: on down on Thursday or Friday and up on Monday
Speaker 1: because everyone's coming and going, We're going Sunday. We get
Speaker 1: there like five o'clock. The beach closes at five thirty.
Speaker 1: We figured we'll well, the lifeguards leave at five thirty,
Speaker 1: can still go on the ocean. We get there at
Speaker 1: five o'clock. It's mayhem. Can't find a parking space. Mayhem.
Speaker 1: Every street is a parking lot of cars trying to
Speaker 1: find parking. Half the street su permit parking only right.
Speaker 1: And so my wife is driving because it's her car.
Speaker 1: But you know, we're from Brooklyn. We like to give
Speaker 1: our advice point not so pleasant. Right. So at one
Speaker 1: point I went, hey, you should make it right here,
Speaker 1: and so she made the right and we got like
Speaker 1: nailed into traffic and no man's land. And I got
Speaker 1: it for like twenty minutes. Oh yeah, make a right,
Speaker 1: swap move, make a right. We could have made a left.
Speaker 1: You ought to make it right, Mr big shot in
Speaker 1: the passenger seat. That's like taking the wrong We're going
Speaker 1: down the wrong path and Dragon's and then you you die.
Speaker 1: Wow reference that's wow. Okay, by the path to the left. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So after about an hour, now you know I'm I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a Brooklyn driver. I'm an aggressive driver. I want
Speaker 1: the wheel. I'm like, hey, you want me to take
Speaker 1: the note? I got it. But she's getting upset and frustrated. Whatever. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we we we parked right by the hotel we stayed
Speaker 1: in across the street. It was a short block. It's
Speaker 1: two beautiful new homes with spiral staircases and giant decks
Speaker 1: in the back to look at the ocean. And the
Speaker 1: third piece of land on the corner is a construction site. Right,
Speaker 1: nothing's been building something we see someone pulling out. We
Speaker 1: quickly grabbed this. We make a crazy U turn. We
Speaker 1: grabbed the spot. It's a meter, okay, and the meters
Speaker 1: are still working on a frigging Sunday, and point pleasant
Speaker 1: you have to put money in the meter. Ridiculous. I
Speaker 1: mean they only have three months to make their entire
Speaker 1: year's work. Frigging sun Day, the Lord's Day, the matter
Speaker 1: memorial data line to day. They're on the clock, right,
Speaker 1: So first of all, f you for having meters on
Speaker 1: Sunday night. But okay, so we put the credit card
Speaker 1: in now Sundays my friend. So I'm in the cart,
Speaker 1: my wife and two of my kids. My oldest kid
Speaker 1: is with her boyfriend driving in his car. She's driving
Speaker 1: because she knows the area a little better. He doesn't
Speaker 1: want to drive around New Jersey. It's not from New Jersey, okay.
Speaker 1: So I know they don't have the skill set to
Speaker 1: fight for a spot the way a trained professional does.
Speaker 1: So I call him, where are you? Oh, we're like
Speaker 1: eight minutes away from where you are because we're tracking
Speaker 1: them on an app and they're stuck in in bumper
Speaker 1: to bumper street traffic trying away. Whose bright idea was
Speaker 1: it to go down the shore again from my wife,
Speaker 1: and we took two cars, which means you have to
Speaker 1: find two spots. Okay. So as we're parking in the
Speaker 1: spot with the meat with the meter and we're putting
Speaker 1: the money in this a driveway behind us, right behind
Speaker 1: our car whether whether one of the houses is and
Speaker 1: then about twenty ft behind our car is the next
Speaker 1: parking space. It's a metered park, metered spot. Two guys
Speaker 1: get in the car and they're pulling out. So we
Speaker 1: call my other daughter and I say, hey, get over.
Speaker 1: Here is a guy getting out. It's gonna take me
Speaker 1: ten minutes to get there because I'm traffic. Did you
Speaker 1: hold on? So first my daughter says, my middle daughter says,
Speaker 1: I'll get in the spot and stand there for her.
Speaker 1: That doesn't work, and maybe in small town America people like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's in the spot, let him go. No if you
Speaker 1: do that in the Northeast. So I got. I go
Speaker 1: into the window of the two guys in the car
Speaker 1: and I said, excuse me, yeah, what what I like
Speaker 1: the New Jersey attitude? I said, are you guys leaving? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I go, I'll give you ten bucks if you just
Speaker 1: sit here till my daughter gets here in like eight minutes.
Speaker 1: Don't leave because I figured parking was thirty. By the
Speaker 1: way that I mentioned that parking is thirty dollars. We
Speaker 1: get there at five thirty. The day's almost done and
Speaker 1: it's thirty. I saw. I'm figuring it's less money, not
Speaker 1: where The guy was like, not thirty. Now he could
Speaker 1: have been lying to me. He could have been right,
Speaker 1: he could have been ten. But so I told the guy,
Speaker 1: I'll give you ten bucks worth the ten bucks at
Speaker 1: that point, right, give me a ten bucks. The guy says, no,
Speaker 1: I gotta go ten bucks. Now, I gotta go. Now,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. I gotta go. So he pulls out,
Speaker 1: and my daughter's like, I'll stand here. I go. You
Speaker 1: cannot stand here this now this cars lined up the
Speaker 1: street right, they're lined up in both directions, but they're
Speaker 1: at a light now, so no one is coming towards
Speaker 1: where we are. They're all going in the opposite direction
Speaker 1: outside of the street. And they haven't noticed the spot yet.
Speaker 1: So I see the construction site and it's got you know, bricks,
Speaker 1: an outhouse, um and orange cone. Run. I grab an
Speaker 1: orange cone. I put it in the spot. Perfect Now
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, I'll explain why in Brooklyn we grew, people
Speaker 1: would keep extra cones in their trunk. That's right, in
Speaker 1: case of emergency, an emergency being you want to save
Speaker 1: a spot for somebody, Right, So I put the car,
Speaker 1: I put the cone in the spot, and I tell
Speaker 1: my daughter walk away, walk away, don't look at it,
Speaker 1: walk away, don't act like we did that. Walk away,
Speaker 1: and Dad, you can't do that. Oh, yes, she did,
Speaker 1: so she just she just mom, Dad put a spot,
Speaker 1: cone in the spot. So my wife looks. He goes,
Speaker 1: he's some Brooklyn. He's allowed, of course, as he starts laughing.
Speaker 1: How many cars passed and how much time passed it was?
Speaker 1: How many people? It was eleven minutes after you put
Speaker 1: the car in, eleven minutes before my daughter showed up,
Speaker 1: I would say thirty cars went by. They all looked
Speaker 1: and kept going. Not one of them thought it's the
Speaker 1: cone scam. Not one of them because they're not from Brooklyn, right.
Speaker 1: Plus it's right by a construction site. They must have figured.
Speaker 1: But why would there be a cone on a Sunday?
Speaker 1: Didn't make any sense? Yeah, but there was still there
Speaker 1: was there a dumpster by nearby. There was a car
Speaker 1: behind it and a driveway in front of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know your your eyes just see the entire
Speaker 1: scene and you're distracted. Okay, the whole place is under construction,
Speaker 1: right right right, I'm questioning that. So my daughter keeps
Speaker 1: looking to make sure it's the spots there. I go,
Speaker 1: stop looking. If you look the chick is up, people
Speaker 1: will know you're eyeing it like you did it. You
Speaker 1: don't know anything, you know not don't look, don't look.
Speaker 1: And so as my my daughter pulled up the block
Speaker 1: from the other side of the road, this is brilliant.
Speaker 1: I wait, I wait till she makes the U turn
Speaker 1: because I don't want to attention. She makes the U
Speaker 1: turn and just I pull the code out just as
Speaker 1: she pulls in. Got that spot already too late for
Speaker 1: anybody else, morally wrong, Brooklyn, completely brilliant, and it's a
Speaker 1: free spot. You don't have to pay anyone anything. Right now.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that where you're from, wherever you're listening from,
Speaker 1: you guys don't do it. I'm just saying I was
Speaker 1: taught that most people don't really live well that's island
Speaker 1: and cosmopolitan area. I'm just saying that, you know, if
Speaker 1: you're listening in a different part of the country. But
Speaker 1: you don't do that. Parking spots are I mean, you
Speaker 1: have big open lands. So I knew a guy in
Speaker 1: my old neighborhood. You know those police horses. It's like
Speaker 1: a piece of wooden and two legs. They don't say
Speaker 1: police on him, but then you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: It's the two A shaped legs and then a beam
Speaker 1: across the barricade. He had the three pot barricade he
Speaker 1: would put together and put in the spot in front
Speaker 1: of his house. He'd come home and have a spot.
Speaker 1: One guy on my block had an old couch. He
Speaker 1: would put the couch in the spot and then a
Speaker 1: garbage bag on it to make it look like it
Speaker 1: was gonna get picked up by the by the garbage company.
Speaker 1: I got something even better, but it was non garbage day,
Speaker 1: so that no one would move a couch to get
Speaker 1: a spot. We had. Big Bob was big Big Bob.
Speaker 1: Big Bob took an old junk junker of a car
Speaker 1: and bought it for the sheer purpose of leaving it
Speaker 1: permanently in the fucking spot so no one could ever
Speaker 1: park in front of his house. But then he couldn't
Speaker 1: park in front of his house. He didn't want it.
Speaker 1: His point was he didn't want anybody parking in the space.
Speaker 1: That's a whole other level of people with issues. It's like,
Speaker 1: you don't want not only do you not want people
Speaker 1: to take your spot, but now you don't want anyone
Speaker 1: parking in front of your house, regardless of who it is,
Speaker 1: and regardless of you either spot or not. So he
Speaker 1: bought this clunky green seventies car and he put a
Speaker 1: sign on it permanently that wrote that said car doesn't
Speaker 1: move to avoid tickets on alternate side. At some point
Speaker 1: you have to get a ticket for that. Nope, never did,
Speaker 1: never got That fucking car sat in his spot in
Speaker 1: front of his house for the better part of eleven years.
Speaker 1: I'm not even can. You can call my parents right
Speaker 1: now and they'll prove I mean, I'm just I'm not
Speaker 1: even joking with you, alright. Well, and my whole years,
Speaker 1: my years growing up in Brooklyn, this junkie car was
Speaker 1: sitting there, my mom and I By the way, people
Speaker 1: have my mom on next episode. People are asking for
Speaker 1: Mama Brod every one next episode. Uh, if she's available.
Speaker 1: The crazy car guy on My block used to sell cars, right,
Speaker 1: he would get them from from all over the country whatever,
Speaker 1: and he'd bring jelappy looking beat up cars. And if
Speaker 1: you needed a beat up car, you go to him.
Speaker 1: Right now, everybody knows in Brooklyn the cheapest place to
Speaker 1: car insurance that you can get on the East coast
Speaker 1: is Browood County, Florida. Well that's one of them. So
Speaker 1: people would go and rent like they buy a little
Speaker 1: piece of land like, and then they would register that
Speaker 1: car in Browood County, Florida. All the cars had Browood County,
Speaker 1: Florida plates. But what this guy would do, same thing
Speaker 1: to reserve spots because he needed he needed all four
Speaker 1: spots in front of the little apartment building he lived in.
Speaker 1: He would put old cars there. But he couldn't get
Speaker 1: a ticket because he would print license plates. He would
Speaker 1: get cardboard license plates printed that looked like metal plates,
Speaker 1: and he would put them on the car, or he
Speaker 1: put him in the window of the cars. He couldn't
Speaker 1: touch him and feel him, so the cops would come
Speaker 1: by and go, oh, he's got a license plate and now,
Speaker 1: and he would leave it there. Same thing. Car doesn't run,
Speaker 1: car won't move right, So he would have all four
Speaker 1: spots in front of the apartment building. Crazy car guy, brilliant, brilliant,
Speaker 1: but also psycho at the same time, because what problem
Speaker 1: do you have with sharing the fucking sidewalk with your
Speaker 1: fellow neighbors. Well, i'll tell you, you you know what we should.
Speaker 1: I don't want to, you know what, I'll tell the
Speaker 1: story even though what happened to my mother because I
Speaker 1: know she's busy today. So she she parks her car.
Speaker 1: She lives in an adult community, meaning you go through
Speaker 1: the gate, you tell that, you give the guy that
Speaker 1: the arm goes up, you go in the huge area
Speaker 1: and it's all for people over fifty years old, right,
Speaker 1: So it's all older people and all all Toyota cameras
Speaker 1: and whatever similar cars. And so she parks in a
Speaker 1: car part, which is basically like a garage with no door, right,
Speaker 1: And so it's a long building with a bunch. You
Speaker 1: get a spot, it has a roof and a sidewall
Speaker 1: and you just pull in. So they had to get
Speaker 1: you had they had to clean the car parts out,
Speaker 1: and they wanted to repave inside the car parts. So
Speaker 1: they put up a sign which I'm gonna post on
Speaker 1: Instagram at some point this week. It says car poard cleaning,
Speaker 1: no parking anywhere. How do you not park anywhere? You
Speaker 1: can't park anywhere? How does that make sense? You have
Speaker 1: to blow up your car. You have to park somewhere,
Speaker 1: the suggesting you put it in your own garage. No,
Speaker 1: it's as you don't know. You can't park in your
Speaker 1: car poard you you can't park anywhere. It says no
Speaker 1: parking anywhere, So that means you're parking on the street. No,
Speaker 1: that's that's awhere. No parking anywhere? But how far it
Speaker 1: is anywhere? But that's what I'm saying. How far is anywhere?
Speaker 1: Anywhere's everywhere? If you can't park anywhere, you have to
Speaker 1: keep driving your car. I would imagine you could park
Speaker 1: around the block. That's somewhere. I know it's somewhere, But
Speaker 1: that's that's not what the sign is saying that that's
Speaker 1: out of the range of anywhere? Does it No, does
Speaker 1: it say anywhere in the vicinity of this? Okay, show
Speaker 1: me the sign. Does it say anywhere? What does it say?
Speaker 1: It looks at the picture it's a floor sign. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's car part cleaning, right, no parking anywhere? Right? So
Speaker 1: to me, my interpretation, can you stand he's sitting in
Speaker 1: the car, the engine running anywhere, there's a car poord
Speaker 1: in that area, you can't park anywhere? Say in that
Speaker 1: area doesn't say don't park it anywhere. If I can't
Speaker 1: see that sign, then I could park there because you're somewhere.
Speaker 1: You're somewhere else. Right anyway anyway said park somewhere else anywhere,
Speaker 1: but well, somewhere else is vague too, then right, but
Speaker 1: somewhere else at least means not here. This doesn't say
Speaker 1: don't park here, just don't pluck anyone parking anywhere anywhere.
Speaker 1: So my mother she couldn't drive the car to your
Speaker 1: house and park there because the sign suggests that it
Speaker 1: can't park anywhere. My house is somewhere. That's what the
Speaker 1: sign says. Well, I mean, don't take the sign to literally, Brodie,
Speaker 1: I mean, but that's what the sign says. I know
Speaker 1: the sign says. The sign that says you have to
Speaker 1: have a membership card to get inside. Thank you, Tesla,
Speaker 1: A great car, by the way, you did park by
Speaker 1: the way that that's a that's a cover Tesla. That's
Speaker 1: a cover song. Can you park your test where a band?
Speaker 1: I think called load. I wrote the anyway, can you
Speaker 1: park your You're ruining the fucking joke. Can you park
Speaker 1: your test Barkley Tesla anywhere anywhere? Okay? So she parks
Speaker 1: around the corner because she didn't take the sign literally,
Speaker 1: because we had that conversation. She's like, I gotta plunk
Speaker 1: somewhere I go. The sign says you're in trouble. So
Speaker 1: she parks around the corner on the main street where
Speaker 1: all the people are parking. It's not a site out
Speaker 1: of mind, so I can't see your fucking sign of anywhere.
Speaker 1: So she parks on the main street and as a
Speaker 1: house it's an attached house because it's all old people
Speaker 1: with attached houses, and it's an attached house. She parks
Speaker 1: on the street. The woman doesn't own the street. It's
Speaker 1: not her parking space, it's the main street. Comes out
Speaker 1: and says, um, how long will you be leaving your
Speaker 1: car there? My mother says as long as it takes
Speaker 1: to clean out the car part because we can't park
Speaker 1: anywhere and I gotta park here. The woman says oh.
Speaker 1: So then she comes back a couple of days later
Speaker 1: to get something out of her car, and the woman
Speaker 1: comes out again and says, you need to move your car.
Speaker 1: My mother says why, She says, because I have the
Speaker 1: guy coming and he needs to have a spot. Mother says,
Speaker 1: what do you mean the guy? Who's the guy? Because
Speaker 1: I'm having a delivery and the guy needs to pull
Speaker 1: up there, so you're gonna eat the movie car. The
Speaker 1: guy that wrote the sign that you can't park anywhere.
Speaker 1: So my mother says, the whole street is empty. The
Speaker 1: guy can park in front of my mother and walk
Speaker 1: an extra foot and a half. People are so He's like, uh,
Speaker 1: if he charges me extra for parking away because you're
Speaker 1: so My mother is like, you know what, I'm staying here.
Speaker 1: My mother gave it to Brooklyn. She gave it the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn face, and she's like, I'm not moving my car
Speaker 1: and parking my car. Point, why are these people so petty?
Speaker 1: She didn't want to and I don't even know this
Speaker 1: woman has a car. It wasn't like the woman had
Speaker 1: her own car there. She didn't want in front of
Speaker 1: the house, which is technically the back of the house
Speaker 1: waste based on how the house. You don't feeling right now,
Speaker 1: because we talked about the Jersey Shore Jersey go Ahead
Speaker 1: was a parody song that you wrote a long time ago.
Speaker 1: Now Will Smith is in the film Aladdin. He's back now,
Speaker 1: and you wrote this song when Will Smith was I
Speaker 1: want to say song Miami. I'm going to Miami. But
Speaker 1: if you're gonna play this, I just want to First
Speaker 1: of all, it's long. It's okay, it's it's two minutes
Speaker 1: and twelve second, which is long now for parodies, which
Speaker 1: we gotta get I know, but we're gonna play all
Speaker 1: two and a half dat. We'll play a minute. They
Speaker 1: used to be thirty five cents for the Guarden State
Speaker 1: Parkway tokens every like five miles. It's all right, kay,
Speaker 1: the song is fro. We're good. Don't make it sound old.
Speaker 1: Twenty year old song. This was a big hit. This
Speaker 1: was such a big hit. A Prick radio station on
Speaker 1: the Jersey Shore uh Re sang it. Even if you
Speaker 1: can't relate, you could still laugh because let's just play
Speaker 1: a minute. You know, you might be listening to North
Speaker 1: Dakota right now, but I think you'll you'll I think
Speaker 1: you'll like this. I didn't my Game of Throne song.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, New Jersey bear My Beach bringing
Speaker 1: the heat ah ha ha. Can you'll smell that? Can
Speaker 1: you'll smell at God? The state? Ah? Here, I am
Speaker 1: in a place where you can't left turn, New Jersey,
Speaker 1: the place where Jack Handle turns every day in the
Speaker 1: shopping mall, everybody's shopping all day Newark and Wayne. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we spent a little something. By exit, third Team
Speaker 1: and Joey in the car driving down to eight States.
Speaker 1: We're feeling ill from the arthic kill. With the Jersey
Speaker 1: ladies past, they'd be like, can you see them with
Speaker 1: pages embraces, real blank faces. The show's my vacation lifting
Speaker 1: Secoccus and my Claire black whites. They all have big blood.
Speaker 1: Everybody goes to Springsteen's playing and every girl I know
Speaker 1: it's cracking, gumming, hairspraying. Every Friday night, I hang out
Speaker 1: and whole boat in the thirty five cents for the
Speaker 1: Garden State Coat, getting body in the state where the
Speaker 1: stink is on all night on the beach with my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Welcome Tim, Hi, I'm fetal, I'm from Jersey, going out
Speaker 1: to dinner Heaton Palmer jan all night with my girl,
Speaker 1: let my dodge named on. Welcome to New Jersey. I'm
Speaker 1: going to Yeah, that's Brody with his and uh our
Speaker 1: boy Spruce sang on it. That's not Spruce you've been
Speaker 1: working for. That's not Spruce. That's a guy who's black
Speaker 1: boy that not every black person is Spruce. You know
Speaker 1: what ship was Spruce? You even word Spruce writing comedy
Speaker 1: for twenty five years. Bruce is not a singer. That's
Speaker 1: that's Ralph. That sounds like Spruce to me. No, he
Speaker 1: did the jar Rule duets bits that I did years ago.
Speaker 1: Everyone thought my bad was a guy that sound what
Speaker 1: What made you think it was Spruce and not? Because
Speaker 1: Spruce has been your writing partner in that department for
Speaker 1: all those years. I right, right, I just assumed that
Speaker 1: was him. Really, why doesn't sound like him? I like
Speaker 1: him to me, so it sounds like a black person
Speaker 1: to you. Hey, this is Sebastian Manaskalkle and you're listening
Speaker 1: to the Brooklyn Boys podcast with Scary and Brody Brodie.
Speaker 1: I need your help on this. I'm really this is
Speaker 1: something that that got my goat. I tried to bring
Speaker 1: it up to Elvis earlier in the week and he
Speaker 1: wasn't as incensed as I was. But I think you
Speaker 1: maybe is this one of those where you you you
Speaker 1: you get very upset and and pumped up and then
Speaker 1: you go down. And then Elvis I was so mad.
Speaker 1: I can't believe people do this, and he looks at you, like,
Speaker 1: why you upset? I don't know. It was a story
Speaker 1: that took place. Then, By the way, Jan Brady is
Speaker 1: trending on Twitter right now as we record this, is
Speaker 1: she sick? No? I I got worried. You have? So
Speaker 1: when you go on Twitter, how you see a celebrity
Speaker 1: You're like, oh right, because like they don't have a
Speaker 1: new So Jan Brady was trending. But Eve Plumb, who
Speaker 1: played Jan Brady on The Brady Bunch, wasn't trending. So
Speaker 1: I thought too, people not know Eve Plumb is. But
Speaker 1: if Eve Plumb died, wouldn't they say Jan Brady plump?
Speaker 1: But why is she trending? It's a political thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: you have to look it up. But the point is
Speaker 1: she's trending, and just made me think of it because
Speaker 1: you said, is this story so um the bronx? Okay, clap, okay, clap,
Speaker 1: so the bronx. Uh, let's stake you there. There was
Speaker 1: a woman who so a woman owns a bodega walks
Speaker 1: into a bar. No, a woman owns a bodega, okay.
Speaker 1: And she had a tip can sitting on the inside
Speaker 1: of the plexiglass, the bulletproof glass. Yeah, but but the
Speaker 1: inside there's an opening for you to actually pay. But
Speaker 1: literally maybe a foot off to the side on the
Speaker 1: inside of the glass is this tip can. It's a
Speaker 1: giant can, like a coffee can. Okay. And now would
Speaker 1: people put money in it? It's behind then they have
Speaker 1: a separate can for the people. And then she she
Speaker 1: transfers the money at the end of the day to
Speaker 1: this other camp which she has on the counter on
Speaker 1: the counter, and the daughter was apparently she was saving
Speaker 1: for the daughter's college fund. And they showed this video
Speaker 1: surveillance of a guy reaching over, reaching in and grabbing
Speaker 1: the can and running off. Do you know what I
Speaker 1: didn't see the video. You have to crane his art,
Speaker 1: like you have to like Ben Downe away. She was
Speaker 1: like pretty much like in an over a little bit.
Speaker 1: He didn't take a hangar and grab the can was
Speaker 1: right there. Do you know much money he got away
Speaker 1: with in that fucking can? Four thousand dollars? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't tell Elvis that four thousand dollars. They were
Speaker 1: interviewed on the news and she said, I was saving
Speaker 1: up from my daughter's college fund and it took me
Speaker 1: about eight years to get that money. And the daughter
Speaker 1: then shows you the marks on the wood of where
Speaker 1: the counter that that's how long that can has been
Speaker 1: sitting there. Then you see the marks on the wood.
Speaker 1: All right, here's a dumb question. Who the fuck leaves
Speaker 1: four thousand dollars in a goddamn coffee can in arms
Speaker 1: length of anyone ever jumping in and grabbing it and
Speaker 1: running off? And how don't even last that long? What
Speaker 1: are you doing? You're googling the story? No, no, you
Speaker 1: don't believe four thousand dollars. Everyone should google the story.
Speaker 1: So here's what I'm thinking. No, there is no thought.
Speaker 1: You're not a fucking idiot, and you can deserve to
Speaker 1: get your mon I know you don't. You don't deserve
Speaker 1: to get your money stolen. It's just not surprising she did.
Speaker 1: You know. Look, if you leave your front door open
Speaker 1: by accident, you don't deserve to have someone come in
Speaker 1: your house and rob you. You don't you can go Well,
Speaker 1: that's stupid. So I feel sympathy for horror. No, I don't.
Speaker 1: At the same time, no, shimpathy. Look, think about it
Speaker 1: some more. If you save money for that long, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be an asshole. And it's fourth. First
Speaker 1: of all, four thousand dollars doesn't pay for most colleges. No,
Speaker 1: but she was saving for college. It's the principle. No.
Speaker 1: My point was that if they don't have four thousand,
Speaker 1: now they don't have anything college. That's crazy. Now here's
Speaker 1: a question playing devil's advocate. What if there was a
Speaker 1: couple of hundred dollars in the can they say four
Speaker 1: thousand dollars so people will start a funding But maybe
Speaker 1: they're doing a little Brooklyn Michael. Maybe this is this.
Speaker 1: They said there was four backing up a little bit.
Speaker 1: Well that's the only and then then you know what,
Speaker 1: they're even worse, like what numbers believable? Then if we
Speaker 1: say ten thousand, no one's gonna believe it. One thousand
Speaker 1: is not enough, then she really deserves it. Four thousand
Speaker 1: is as high as you can go without going to
Speaker 1: five thousand. Like five thousand seems like they were lying.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, you know what, there's no proof of anything. Now,
Speaker 1: they could say four thousand, they could have spend twenty
Speaker 1: thou but now but you know, now, could you see
Speaker 1: the guy's facing the video, Yeah, it's clear as day.
Speaker 1: You see him struggling. You see him hesitate because the
Speaker 1: person kept, you know, like looking back. I guess looking back,
Speaker 1: or they he said into the back of the store. Admittedly,
Speaker 1: you're a low life if you're stealing somebody's tip, can
Speaker 1: the thief you don't put it in? Will cover your face.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that criminals are the smartest people in
Speaker 1: the world, although if you watch Oceans eleven, you'd think
Speaker 1: that those guys would have probably put a mask on
Speaker 1: their face. But this guy, you know, that's the point is,
Speaker 1: how do you not empty the jar at the end
Speaker 1: of the night and just put it somewhere else. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you leaving it on the counter for
Speaker 1: seven years? You leave a coffee Canada four grand. We
Speaker 1: did a story about a guy in New Jersey. What
Speaker 1: pointed it too much? He worked at best Buy or
Speaker 1: some retail store. He got out of his car with
Speaker 1: the car running and the keys in the ignition he
Speaker 1: had to run in and get something he forgot, or
Speaker 1: he was on his day off to his pay check whatever.
Speaker 1: He ran in and came out his car was gone. Well,
Speaker 1: you left your car running with the keys in it.
Speaker 1: That guy, I'm gonna say, Okay, you deserve that. Okay,
Speaker 1: how is that any different from this person? Because that
Speaker 1: guy left the keys and the car running. If if
Speaker 1: she left it on a string swinging in the front door, maybe,
Speaker 1: but she. I mean, look, I don't if it gets
Speaker 1: in that can. I'm emptying that, you know me, I'm please.
Speaker 1: I would have had that in the bank. Are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? You know, I'm just gonna leave my life
Speaker 1: savings in the cash register. But I think I think
Speaker 1: there's a possibility that number got jacked up. I'm thinking
Speaker 1: so too, is that looking to play on the sympathy
Speaker 1: is a good people And I'm hoping I'm hoping it
Speaker 1: got jacked up because then but now she's not stupid.
Speaker 1: Now she's an asshole for jacking up the number. If
Speaker 1: she did that, yeah, now she's an asshole. Speaking of which,
Speaker 1: Gregg Tea's topic train this week. One of the topics
Speaker 1: was what was it? What do you steal? How much
Speaker 1: money are you making? This was the the thief not
Speaker 1: being a thief. This is what I brought this topic
Speaker 1: up to Elvis. So the topic on the top on
Speaker 1: Great TIA's topic train was how much you make in
Speaker 1: being a thief? Right? That seemed like a fun topic.
Speaker 1: A second is some self admitted thief couldn't show on
Speaker 1: the show. You heard the calls that couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1: People were texting in, Oh, the pistachio nuts and cashews
Speaker 1: are expensive, so uh I take the I take the
Speaker 1: label for um like raisins or something, and I have
Speaker 1: the guy it scans because raisins are a dollar a
Speaker 1: pound and the nuts are nine dollars a pound. And
Speaker 1: you know I'm on a budget. Well then eat the raisins.
Speaker 1: You're on a budget. You don't get to sound on
Speaker 1: a budget. So I'm gonna steal the nuts. So then
Speaker 1: that so that came in. Then some other person called
Speaker 1: in and was like, oh, yeah, I steal such and such.
Speaker 1: I uh I do the self checkout at the at
Speaker 1: the store. I pay for a third of it and
Speaker 1: throw the rest in the bag. And I was just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is terrible. We're promoting this end this topic. But
Speaker 1: not only a people their crooks. They brag about it. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I have this great scam. Look I put the orange
Speaker 1: cone in the street. I get it. That was that
Speaker 1: was probably wrong, right, But I wasn't stealing money from people.
Speaker 1: Don't do that either, that's yeah, it's just terrible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't want to yea, yeah, okay, some things that
Speaker 1: I do want to complain about for a second, feel free.
Speaker 1: I got a letter from my medical provider, one of them,
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to give the name. And it
Speaker 1: says to pay your bill, call this number. It's an
Speaker 1: eight hundred number, not a number, and it says when
Speaker 1: you call, enter your pin number right there and number.
Speaker 1: So I called them to complain about their invoice. And
Speaker 1: you know what the recording says, ship you know here
Speaker 1: called the number. Oh it's it's it's during hours the number. Okay,
Speaker 1: do this live, stling, We have a weird dialer. And
Speaker 1: thank you for colding American Medical. But I spent the
Speaker 1: middle dose. Yeah, if you've received a letter from us,
Speaker 1: please enter the pin number. I hang up American Medical.
Speaker 1: Listen to her. Okay, So American Medical was the company
Speaker 1: that called me, right, she goes, Hello, thank you for
Speaker 1: calling American Medical. First of all, you have a British accent.
Speaker 1: I got a problem with that. I know she could
Speaker 1: live here. Now, what are you telling me American Medical?
Speaker 1: I can't find someone with an American accent. A million
Speaker 1: people probably would be available in any more British based company.
Speaker 1: I don't they better not be with that name. The
Speaker 1: point is I called up. I called up specifically because
Speaker 1: I had nothing better to do with my life. This
Speaker 1: is the kind of life I had to call up
Speaker 1: and complain about their invoice that said pin number on it,
Speaker 1: and the voicemail says, enter your pin number. I hung up.
Speaker 1: I can't win. No, I can't win. Uh. Speaking of
Speaker 1: can't winning, I got a tweet from Derlas Rodriguez. She says,
Speaker 1: my daughters and I went for some fast food. Once.
Speaker 1: My fourteen year old and I saw this. We looked
Speaker 1: at each other and thought of David Brody. We are fans,
Speaker 1: and we're catching up. We're up to episode sixty two.
Speaker 1: We are listening in order God blessing, God bless you.
Speaker 1: They put a picture up from a certain archway fast
Speaker 1: food place arches and it says step one, choose a meal,
Speaker 1: Step two, choose a side. Step three, choose a drink.
Speaker 1: Your choices are organic apple juice, the sunny water white milk.
Speaker 1: They don't even have chocolate milk, just put milk. They
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you know it's milk. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna all right, all right, all right, I get
Speaker 1: another one. Oh yeah from Tissha snod Grass. What a
Speaker 1: great name. By the way, I have a few snot
Speaker 1: grasses in this tissue here, I bet you do. Oh mg,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn boys at David Browny. That's scary Jones. Look what
Speaker 1: my husband found at our local grocery store. It's a
Speaker 1: picture of a bag of rainbow bagels, and she puts
Speaker 1: it's a bag of rainbow Spagels bagels. So it's a
Speaker 1: bag of shitty rainbow bagels. This was one of my favorites.
Speaker 1: This is my favorite of the week. Wonderful, so it
Speaker 1: must be one wonderful ja Wand's what a great name.
Speaker 1: At David Brody McDonald's offering hashtag free dessert for pulling Forward.
Speaker 1: It's a coupon. On one side it says thank you
Speaker 1: for pulling forward with a picture of the drive through,
Speaker 1: and then the back it says one free dessert of
Speaker 1: your choice at participating McDonald's when you pull forward at
Speaker 1: the drive through a reward. Yes, that's okay, I'll pull
Speaker 1: forward for that. Yes, yes, all day. This microphone sounds tinny.
Speaker 1: By the way, how great is that McDonald's realizes it's
Speaker 1: a pain in the ass. What the actual ticket? It
Speaker 1: says one free dessert? You know what, that's awesome. I
Speaker 1: give that McDonald's credit more. McDonald's should fall in line. Wait,
Speaker 1: McDonald's a corporation, not a franchise, So isn't that a franchise.
Speaker 1: It's a corporation, But they're all franchise in the ship,
Speaker 1: so they don't. So that means it's up to each
Speaker 1: individual with Michael McDonald's right manma po Leasema, Policema, Policema police.
Speaker 1: You gotta come over to the side of the board
Speaker 1: because I don't even believe this is real and this
Speaker 1: is hilarious. We got an email at the Brooklyn Boys
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com from Joe Dingo. Joe, don't
Speaker 1: we pick a microphone on the second? You're gonna give
Speaker 1: the email address again because people keep asking for it.
Speaker 1: You can you know what? You could scroll backwards and
Speaker 1: scrub on the podcast now I know the Brooklyn Boys
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail. So what's the email address for the
Speaker 1: brookn Boys podcas the Broken Voice Podcast gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Joe Dingle writes from the Crab Shanty in City Island,
Speaker 1: which is uh the city. It's like an island off
Speaker 1: of the Bronx in New York, the same place where
Speaker 1: that tip jar was stolen with four thousand dollars in
Speaker 1: it not surprising that you'd see a sign like this
Speaker 1: at the Crab Shanty. It's a permanent sign of a restaurant.
Speaker 1: And Joe wrote, right, r, you had one job, never
Speaker 1: thought anyone could fuck this up? Brodie, Why don't you
Speaker 1: do the spelling of this fine Italian seafood place. That's
Speaker 1: a real sign, my friend. That is a permanent sign
Speaker 1: someone spent thousands of dollars on to put above their store.
Speaker 1: It's the name of the restaurant. No, no, it's not
Speaker 1: the name, it's a it's their slogan. It says fine
Speaker 1: Italian Seafood on the on the awning spells I t
Speaker 1: A l I l A n at talillan at talian. Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe that's a count you were unaware of. Maybe a teal.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm going to give the owner a pass that
Speaker 1: maybe that day that they put up the sign, he
Speaker 1: wasn't there. But I have to believe that hundreds of
Speaker 1: fucking people have now told him to sign has a
Speaker 1: spelling error on it. Hundreds have to be okay, and
Speaker 1: he hasn't done anything about it. All right, not getting political,
Speaker 1: But last week or the week before, the Boston Red
Speaker 1: Sox went to visit the White House, the world champion
Speaker 1: Boston Red Sox. By the way, the Patriots won the
Speaker 1: Super Bowl, the Red Sox won the World Series, and
Speaker 1: the Boston Bruins have a chance to win. I cannot
Speaker 1: stand New England. I mean with the team's great beautiful place,
Speaker 1: but there in the New England area. Yes, so the
Speaker 1: Red Sox, like the White Sox, spell their name s
Speaker 1: o X. Sure the White House sent out a letter
Speaker 1: welcoming the Boston red s O c K S. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That seems like that's a bad one. A bolt lease
Speaker 1: got more plea p no. I just like remember two
Speaker 1: episodes ago, I was ranting about how Target has a
Speaker 1: sign up that said, um no unpaid for merchandise in
Speaker 1: the and right now I got upset about that because
Speaker 1: you know, it's an unpaid merchandise, And I said, if
Speaker 1: it's unpaid, does that mean it works here and you
Speaker 1: don't pay it? So they sent me a picture of
Speaker 1: Low's bathroom and it says please do not take merchandise
Speaker 1: into restroom. That's exactly correct. That's the best way to
Speaker 1: say it, right, because once you pay for it, it's
Speaker 1: no longer merchandise, and unpaid merchandise means you're not paying
Speaker 1: it a salary. That's a problem. Rainbow sch Bagels love that. Hey,
Speaker 1: this is Sebastian Manascalcole, and you're listening to the Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Boys podcast with Brody and Scary meld talk. That sounds
Speaker 1: like it's time welcome. You've got mail, all right? A
Speaker 1: lot of people on the even is not even train.
Speaker 1: Jason Larson just discovering the podcast. Um, I don't even
Speaker 1: know what episode he's up to. He just wrote us,
Speaker 1: He wrote us, I can't even get into this. I
Speaker 1: want to read long emails. I love you, man, but
Speaker 1: maybe we should have put a place where we could
Speaker 1: post these, because this it's way too much. I mean,
Speaker 1: you're writing novels in these emails. All right, let's go
Speaker 1: over with that. To me, I want to read it
Speaker 1: it's free deserve, all right, I got a couple of
Speaker 1: all right, here's another free desserve when this is not
Speaker 1: as long as Ryan d Brooklyn Boys. Uh, just a
Speaker 1: warning he tends to ramble on. Sorry, stumbled upon the
Speaker 1: Elveston Rand in the Morning Show two years ago, and
Speaker 1: I hear radio stumbled upon the fifteen minute Morning Show
Speaker 1: and then the Brooklyn Boys podcast. I love you all
Speaker 1: been catching up slowly. I'm up on to episode number
Speaker 1: twenty two. You might have already coming in the day.
Speaker 1: It might have covered a situation like this already, but
Speaker 1: here it is having problems with a local fast food place.
Speaker 1: One has one that has spicy chicken sandwiches that are
Speaker 1: two for six bucks, and I usually want to through
Speaker 1: their app, and when I finished place in my letter,
Speaker 1: it charges it to my card. Problem comes in when
Speaker 1: I get to the drive through speaker. I let them
Speaker 1: know my order number. They have me pull to the window,
Speaker 1: and then when I'm at the window, they say to me,
Speaker 1: we are gonna make those fresh for you, so you'll
Speaker 1: need to pull around to the front. Lie when it's ready,
Speaker 1: we'll bring it out. I can't tell them. I can't
Speaker 1: tell them no because my card has already been charged,
Speaker 1: right because he already paid for it online. Sit there.
Speaker 1: So Uh, I have had this happened to me several
Speaker 1: times at different times throughout the day. The guy is
Speaker 1: the only on episode twenty two. You gotta forgive him.
Speaker 1: Uh even tried to hit the I'm here button on
Speaker 1: the app they could start making it anyway. I sent
Speaker 1: two emails to their corporate office with no reply back
Speaker 1: of these long weights. Then just last week, corporate guy
Speaker 1: on the phone acted like he did not care. When
Speaker 1: he called me back. All he said to me was, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll forward this on to the appropriate person and they'll
Speaker 1: call you back. So the person this guy was actually
Speaker 1: trying to rectify the long wait saying by complaining on
Speaker 1: email and got nowhere when they call them back. So
Speaker 1: far it's been three days no call back. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: piste off, right, What do you get here? I've worked
Speaker 1: for fast Food before, understand about drive to through times
Speaker 1: with food cost. I understand as a customer I should
Speaker 1: not have to wait that long for fast food. Help
Speaker 1: me get me my free dessert. That's from Ryan Nisbeth
Speaker 1: in Murryville. M O. What's m O? M Missouri? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So how did that? How do we help him? Uh,
Speaker 1: he's got two problems going on at once, one of
Speaker 1: which we've addressed at nausea, and that's the pull up
Speaker 1: to the front. But now he's getting bad customer service
Speaker 1: after he made the complaints to corporate. How do you
Speaker 1: handle that? Well? First of all, the first thing I
Speaker 1: did when that happened to me, which is where the
Speaker 1: rant came from, I asked to speak to the manager. Okay. Um.
Speaker 1: By the way, the fact that you didn't know Mo
Speaker 1: was Missouri is a little frightening to me. Um. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that because I thought, because I know that, well,
Speaker 1: there's there's Emmy. Emmy is Maine, I believe right, see,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know. But that should be m A.
Speaker 1: But that's Massachusetts Montana? What's Montana? Is it mt? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm guessing. All right, let's move on. So I
Speaker 1: called the manager. Then I called the regional manager, and
Speaker 1: that's how I got my coupons. By the Missouri should
Speaker 1: bem I? Okay, fuck you? Why is Michigan? Well there
Speaker 1: you go, But why is it Michigan MN? Why? Why
Speaker 1: should it be? Why should Missouri b m O? Why
Speaker 1: should Why should Michigan get the m I and not Missouri.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Suck you continue, you know I
Speaker 1: have a point. You might want to go in order
Speaker 1: of the became states. Check that out whatever, And I
Speaker 1: don't know, And then you don't tweet me. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I just I'll look it up if I care enough.
Speaker 1: So how do you get double Why? How do you do?
Speaker 1: Because I had the regional manager send me coupons, and
Speaker 1: then I called the customer service number and they sent
Speaker 1: me Why does this warrant double free dessert? Well, because
Speaker 1: they fucked him and didn't call him back for three days.
Speaker 1: That's rude. He gets something for their rudeness. They didn't
Speaker 1: call him back. Well I keep calling. Speaking of speaking
Speaker 1: of Taco Bell, by the way, you know I love
Speaker 1: Taco Bell. I complained about the drive to but I
Speaker 1: love them my favorite thing. As the ages come and go,
Speaker 1: as the eons pass, whatever, as the hands of time
Speaker 1: go by, there's always been a constant for me. They
Speaker 1: have specials that they all limited time only. Lava sauce.
Speaker 1: You get rid of my lava sauce. I want to
Speaker 1: kill somebody, but I always order no matter what I have.
Speaker 1: I order a MIXI melt no pico, which maxim melt
Speaker 1: no pico. Basically, what that is is a flower tortilla,
Speaker 1: a little little cheese, little streaded cheese. There little taco
Speaker 1: meat on top of that. And they like to put
Speaker 1: pico de gaio taco meat on my chest. You do.
Speaker 1: Pico de gaio is tomatoes and onion and cilantro basically,
Speaker 1: and maybe some lime juice. I'd no. I don't care.
Speaker 1: Different people make it different ways. I hate pico de gaio.
Speaker 1: I don't like onions, all right, But if you order
Speaker 1: it with tomato, okay whatever, you know, you know you're
Speaker 1: eating onions and so many foods that you already eat
Speaker 1: and I don't realize. I don't. Then there minced and
Speaker 1: I can't. There's so minced. But pico de gaio was
Speaker 1: like tomato onion. It's half and half. I can't stand it.
Speaker 1: So I ordered maximoult no peko again. That's my one
Speaker 1: sentence when it comes to Taco bell, one word, maximoult
Speaker 1: no peko. Okay, I drive in this week the taco
Speaker 1: bell as I often do. Uh, I don't see the
Speaker 1: maximout on the menu. They're getting maximount and no, Piko,
Speaker 1: we don't make the maximount anymore. What wow, is it
Speaker 1: limited time only item? Now? No, it's we don't make
Speaker 1: it anymore. It's like p F Chang's probably got too
Speaker 1: expensive to manangs. The double pan fried noodles my favorite,
Speaker 1: but they don't make them anymore. But if you ask
Speaker 1: for the reasons for them, or they the items that
Speaker 1: the ingredients that are in it cost too much to me.
Speaker 1: All contra, all the items in the in the food
Speaker 1: are still available in the restaurant. They still have the noodles,
Speaker 1: to meat, the shrimp, the chicken, whatever. So if you
Speaker 1: ask for it, they make it. So the guy says
Speaker 1: to me, we took it off the menu. Now. The
Speaker 1: beauty of Taco Bell unlike any other restaurant you go to,
Speaker 1: they have an assortment of ingredients, right, like, let's say,
Speaker 1: ten ingredients lettuce, tomato, onion, salad, cream, cheese, liquid, cheese, meat, chicken, rice. Right,
Speaker 1: they basically have ten things. Their entire menu is various
Speaker 1: combinations of those ten things. That's it. So it's not
Speaker 1: like that they don't serve it ingredient anymore. They had
Speaker 1: to pull it off unless it's less. You get like
Speaker 1: a uh Dorito's Locos taco where the taco is a
Speaker 1: special spicy shell and they don't carry it anymore. But
Speaker 1: other than that, every other burrito taco combo is the
Speaker 1: same basic ten things. Basically, it's for like the red strips.
Speaker 1: But you know what I'm saying. So I say, you
Speaker 1: can't make me a meximunt. You have to meat, cheese
Speaker 1: and peko, which I don't even want. So he says, yeah,
Speaker 1: Now I was pissed. How do you get rid of
Speaker 1: the mexim melt? He says, sir, you have to order
Speaker 1: a cheese roll up and add tonko meat. So I said,
Speaker 1: what is that a scam? Is that gonna cost me
Speaker 1: more than than the meximunt. Now he says, sir, Actually,
Speaker 1: if you don't have the peeko, it's cents less. I'm in.
Speaker 1: I'm winning now. I feel like I'm in a club.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a special club. Only I
Speaker 1: know the meximount on you guys listening now, No, like, hey,
Speaker 1: hey buddy, hey in the microphone, you and you in
Speaker 1: the little window there, give me a I want to
Speaker 1: cheese roll up and tackle meat right right, and I'm
Speaker 1: saving twenty five cents. I've been over paying twenty cents
Speaker 1: of Mexi Melt for twenty years. This is great. So
Speaker 1: I turned that front upside down. That's what I did.
Speaker 1: Good good. I like that. I was about to get
Speaker 1: free to know, I'm thinking about calling and complaining. Every
Speaker 1: time you go, you're winning, you're getting a quarter every time.
Speaker 1: I was thinking of call calling corporate and complaining they
Speaker 1: get rid of the MIXI melt and see if they
Speaker 1: give me free coupons. But I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna don't take advantage of the system. Right, Well,
Speaker 1: it's me. I tweeted at them twice, and I found
Speaker 1: other people complaining, and I tweeted Taco Bell and never
Speaker 1: even got back to me on social media, which I
Speaker 1: was upset about. At least say to me, well, you
Speaker 1: know you can order a cheesy roll up at Taco
Speaker 1: Meat and this you get your Mexi Melt, which they
Speaker 1: didn't say to me. They never got back to me.
Speaker 1: So I looked to see who else was complaining about
Speaker 1: the Mexic Melt. Yeah, now here's the thing. If you're
Speaker 1: gonna complain and you want the company to know, like
Speaker 1: I always say, don't tweet at celebrities is defensive. I
Speaker 1: actually helped a Twitter person add the company in because
Speaker 1: we wanted them to get help. What's the point of
Speaker 1: making I saw that that was a great tweet on
Speaker 1: your point, Yes, and I said to them same thing.
Speaker 1: It's a great company. I'm sure that's an awesome company.
Speaker 1: And we've advertised with them, and the person was having
Speaker 1: an issue with them, but they talked to you and
Speaker 1: me behind their back. No, no, no no, let them know.
Speaker 1: Let them know that you're you're upset in a nice way.
Speaker 1: Don't go off from them, but you gotta copy them
Speaker 1: in situation. So I found a bunch of people on
Speaker 1: Twitter complaining about the Meximol. But they would say, oh,
Speaker 1: Taco Bell the Meximo I'm so sad, or hashtag Taco
Speaker 1: Bell got rid of my mexim out. Well, unless Taco
Speaker 1: Bell is looking for hashtag Taco Bell, they're not gonna
Speaker 1: see it. They're not gonna see it. You gotta taco
Speaker 1: Oh another thing I want to complain about you guys,
Speaker 1: I love I love our followers on Twitter, but you
Speaker 1: got you can't they can't. They it's not up to
Speaker 1: me to click to see what the threat is. People
Speaker 1: go check out this link. Where's the link? I go,
Speaker 1: where's the link? Oh, it's up in the thread. I
Speaker 1: go look back six tweets, copy the link and send
Speaker 1: it to me in the tweet, or they or they
Speaker 1: tweet like nine of us on the Morning Show, and
Speaker 1: I go, yeah, what the article? What article? They don't
Speaker 1: they don't connect to it. They don't retweet with comment.
Speaker 1: If you retweet with comment, we'll see the tweet you're
Speaker 1: talking about, or if you copy the link. But do
Speaker 1: you just tweet me. I look at my Twitter and
Speaker 1: I go, oh, at David Brodie, there's nothing there. You're
Speaker 1: asking me now to think maybe I have to click
Speaker 1: on that. You don't need this heavy lifting. I have
Speaker 1: to click see conversation and then look all the way
Speaker 1: back to what you're talking about. Learn how to use Twitter. People. Um,
Speaker 1: Corey Johnson, Yeah, says um. First of all, she's not
Speaker 1: naming our names in any order. She loves us both.
Speaker 1: She says, So you fuck you. I listened in order
Speaker 1: like you're supposed to. Oh, she wrote suppose to supposed to. Yeah. Uh,
Speaker 1: now I'm all caught up. I got a few of
Speaker 1: my co workers into this podcast, and my neighbor. It's
Speaker 1: funny because now when we both come home from work
Speaker 1: on Thursdays we run into each other. One of us
Speaker 1: just starts laughing and we start talking about the episode
Speaker 1: Slice for Life. I got you guys a free a
Speaker 1: few more slices. Brodie, there's your free dessert from me.
Speaker 1: Uh Strie, I'm with you on the movie topic from
Speaker 1: episode eight five. I only like realistic movies as well.
Speaker 1: Never watch Star Wars Star trek Ory and that bullshit.
Speaker 1: My friend did. However, justistic movies are there, romance movies.
Speaker 1: Those aren't realistic. My girlfriend did, however, just get me
Speaker 1: started on watching Marvel movies for the first time because
Speaker 1: of everyone going crazy about this Avengers film. It's better
Speaker 1: than I thought, and I'm into it so far, but
Speaker 1: it's not considered to be any of my favorite movies
Speaker 1: of all time. Thank you, Corey Johnson. Cheryl. We talked
Speaker 1: about Cheryl from Charlotte'sville. She was very disappointed, but we
Speaker 1: had way too many guests. Yes in recent past. That
Speaker 1: was your feedback. Her subject line for last episode is
Speaker 1: she mad? Oh by the way, yeah, she says so.
Speaker 1: Episode eighty five was awesome and back to what y'all
Speaker 1: do great. Thank you for reading and responding to my email.
Speaker 1: I also appreciate you didn't chew up this slice and
Speaker 1: spit her out, because you all are the bomb dignity.
Speaker 1: I was sitting at the pool listening to the episode
Speaker 1: eighty five busting out laughing when you were ranting back
Speaker 1: and forth about Brodie's diet coke versus coke lte conundrum
Speaker 1: on the plane. Heard already asked me if I was happy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hell, yes, this is what makes y'all real.
Speaker 1: This math teacher totally feels there's enough space for both
Speaker 1: varieties or yes, they need to alert the client of
Speaker 1: the one they're serving by on this. Don't worry, scary.
Speaker 1: There are times when I'm totally on your side. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Thanks for another great episode. Another one slice for life
Speaker 1: Cheryl from Charlottesville so that so we won her back,
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's a lost cause I bet, I bet
Speaker 1: your Lydia. I'm beginning to think. Also, Paul friends up
Speaker 1: wants to know if we would just saw this sign
Speaker 1: for Sam's Chinese and it reminded me of the Salis
Speaker 1: Sally's pizza Sam. I feel like if I had a
Speaker 1: choice between Sam's Chinese or a place called China City
Speaker 1: or Golden Walk, I would not pick Sam's Chinese. What
Speaker 1: do you guys think? This is a restaurant in Burnt Hills,
Speaker 1: New York called called Sam's Chinese. That's from Paul. What
Speaker 1: do you think I have to agree with him? I
Speaker 1: see Sam's Chinese over fucking China City, China Cities, fucking generic.
Speaker 1: I feel like that could be in a city, no big,
Speaker 1: big buck store dishing out cheap ship. Maybe the guy's
Speaker 1: name is Sam and he's got a family that came
Speaker 1: from China. Yeah, that's his americanized name. Eating Scary Jones's
Speaker 1: eating at Sam's Chinese. So I googled Sam's Chinese and
Speaker 1: another choice came up, Sam Lee Kitchen. Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1: You're going there over Sam because his last name is Lee.
Speaker 1: You're going there? Well, yeah, Sam Lee? Okay, but we
Speaker 1: maybe Sam should put his last name in there. Chinese
Speaker 1: restaurant Asian. No, I'm looking at the hold on, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at the Sam. His menu was on Zomatoor. They
Speaker 1: have a price fixed early meal for Chinese food. Sam's Chinese.
Speaker 1: I get it, man, It's like Stacy's pizza. I get it,
Speaker 1: uh and then tasty. Chelsea A said, I started listening
Speaker 1: to your podcast last week. I'm on episode three already
Speaker 1: thanks to being able to listen to you guys at
Speaker 1: work all day binging, oh my God, and a car
Speaker 1: a long car ride home over the weekend. Funny episode
Speaker 1: twenty three about emailing or not emailing or tweeting in
Speaker 1: corrections on previous episodes. I got news for you, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: By the time you get to this one, you will
Speaker 1: have heard that at nausea and Brody says, don't tweet
Speaker 1: me all the time. Thank you for pronouncing the word
Speaker 1: texts as texts but not texas is right? That really
Speaker 1: grinds my gears. Maybe when I get to episodes to
Speaker 1: ninety I will hear this email. Yes, there you go. Okay,
Speaker 1: what don't clap at me? I got one one thing
Speaker 1: I got to talk about. By the way, you made
Speaker 1: me call out episode eight five. At the beginning of
Speaker 1: this episode, this is episode is it? People are gonna
Speaker 1: be so mad? Not at the beginning? Should we go
Speaker 1: back and read drop it? Yes, so by the time
Speaker 1: you get to this part of the episode. Just know
Speaker 1: that we re edited in the word eight. This won't
Speaker 1: make any sense. You should take this out. No, I'm
Speaker 1: not taking this out. You know, go back and change.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna paste over episode six.
Speaker 1: Well you just go I mean eighty six. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: You will, you will not have heard I just drop
Speaker 1: in because by the time you hear this, we've already
Speaker 1: edited the damn thing. You can say what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I under stard you're saying. I think you should just
Speaker 1: go and say five, six or yeah, or drop it
Speaker 1: on another track so it goes over it alright, Well,
Speaker 1: you know it's already fixed. You already know. Yeah, by
Speaker 1: the time you heard this, you already heard it. You
Speaker 1: don't tweet us. Yeah, if you didn't know, now you know,
Speaker 1: don't tweetus. That's another shirt we should have that don't
Speaker 1: tweet his shirt. I did promise the muse the next story.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to leave that for next episode because
Speaker 1: it's long. But I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you a story about people who working in a place
Speaker 1: real quick, who claim they know what they're talking about,
Speaker 1: and you trust them. You trust them because they're confident.
Speaker 1: So I went into Lows Home Improvement because Home Depot
Speaker 1: didn't have what I wanted. I went in the Lows
Speaker 1: and I started those Yeah, I know you don't have
Speaker 1: a home uh. And Lows has certain things for less
Speaker 1: money than the home Depot. And you gotta figure out
Speaker 1: what you need. So I needed I needed a certain
Speaker 1: length hose right that they didn't have a home deep.
Speaker 1: I got your hose. So I go into two Lows
Speaker 1: and I'm in the I'm I'm in the outside part
Speaker 1: of the gardening area. They have an outside side's the
Speaker 1: guy up on a ladder and I said, hey, um,
Speaker 1: where would I find the hoses and the water flow meters?
Speaker 1: There's a hose in this house. Sorry weed im hose? Okay,
Speaker 1: So he says to me, on the right, Mike, I
Speaker 1: love that this place has like fifty aisles narrow. He's like, boom,
Speaker 1: on the right. Great. So I go in. Guy knows
Speaker 1: his ship knows this it. Now, this is one of
Speaker 1: those stores the home Deep poniar me. The aisles start
Speaker 1: in the front and they go straight back. So that's it.
Speaker 1: It's like streets. I'll seven starts in the front goes
Speaker 1: all the way back. This lows has some some aisles
Speaker 1: that go sideways right, so it's like short ais short aisle,
Speaker 1: short as short ail, short aisle. The long ones go
Speaker 1: one way. The shorts is ridiculous. So I have to
Speaker 1: like look now sideways to find I find all seven.
Speaker 1: It's off to the side of thirty and never would
Speaker 1: have seen it. I find it like on the right side.
Speaker 1: So I go down the aisle. I don't see the hoses,
Speaker 1: Like all right, well it's a short aisle. Maybe he
Speaker 1: meant from the other direction. So I turned around. I
Speaker 1: go on the right side of that, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: look the other side. There's no hoses. Now I go
Speaker 1: the guy fucking lied to me, or he doesn't know
Speaker 1: he's talking about He didn't say. I think he's probably
Speaker 1: just finishing his shift too, and he's like, I'm out
Speaker 1: of here. I don't know what that I told that guy.
Speaker 1: Fuck him. He didn't say out of the stone are
Speaker 1: near twenty seven? He didn't say, it's like seven ish.
Speaker 1: He's a twenty seven. And as I'm walking away, he
Speaker 1: goes on the right side like bam, like you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm the fucking boss here. I know what because some
Speaker 1: guys that you go to home depot and they go
Speaker 1: it's in the third bay, second shelf, third bay, are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? And boom, there it is on the
Speaker 1: second shelf. They know every little they know every bolt
Speaker 1: is you go, boom. This guy's like twenty seven on
Speaker 1: the right. Motherfucker. He didn't say that, but he had
Speaker 1: in his eyes and like, oh, it's on twenty seven
Speaker 1: on the right. Now I'm going back and forth. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for it. So I find another guy like, excuse me,
Speaker 1: you know where the hoses are? He goes, oh, I
Speaker 1: think during uh oh, thanks man, because this guy told
Speaker 1: me twenty seven. But that's two miles away. Yeah. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, so I said, I'm go, hey, thank you,
Speaker 1: because you just said you just made my day. Thank you.
Speaker 1: So he walks away. I walked to twenty nine. Guess
Speaker 1: what's not there? The hoses. They're not twenty nine, they're
Speaker 1: not twenty seven. So now what Now I gotta go
Speaker 1: up and down like a snake, up and down these aisles.
Speaker 1: You should know it hoses all it's allowed of hoses.
Speaker 1: It's straight time. Everybody's buying hoses. Noyosa. Well, don't say
Speaker 1: on the right, tell me it's probably in the vicinity.
Speaker 1: The other guy, who knows I already got misinformation, should
Speaker 1: say to me, you know what, let's walk around and
Speaker 1: find it. He's like, no, brother, no, it's at twenty nine.
Speaker 1: I'm helping you out. You're not helping me out. The
Speaker 1: host six. At least give me the right direction. The
Speaker 1: second guy walked me further away from the hoses then
Speaker 1: they were. Actually and by the time you've got had wasted.
Speaker 1: At least give me a damn fitbit so I get
Speaker 1: credit for the walking. By the time I found the hoses,
Speaker 1: they didn't have the hose I wanted. Anyway, we're gonna
Speaker 1: start that over. I'm like, oh, wall hoses, hosesses? No,
Speaker 1: I wanted seventy. They didn't have any. Brody's misfortune problems
Speaker 1: are always compounded with you just know your job, or
Speaker 1: admit you don't know your job. Don't tell me, bro
Speaker 1: boom right side confident. Well, guess what, I walked back
Speaker 1: out to the gardening area. That guy's gone. He must
Speaker 1: have high tail, Like you said, his shift was over.
Speaker 1: Of course he got the funk out of it. Did
Speaker 1: speaking up getting the funk out of it it. I got
Speaker 1: no voice left. You know what you need to go
Speaker 1: and see your mom. Get some chicken soup from Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Bland Boys brock Brod