WEBVTT - #86 Brody Wants a Longer Hose 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:10.479 Start Up, start Up, Brooklyn, start Up, Brooklyn buys dot Up. 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:18.400 They're making Noise dot Up show. Oh yeah, it's eighty 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:20.759 six now, but people even know. We're talking about the 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:24.040 Brooklyn Boys podcast. One of us is healthy today, dude. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.240 You know me? I never get sick? Ever? How many 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.800 is you know me? Bertie? Uh been a lot? And 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:34.960 when did you ever know me to be under the weather, 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:38.760 sleep late, call out sick for whatever. You're always the 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:40.600 one that says, oh, I don't get sick, and everybody 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:42.160 hates you for it. Yeah. There was at one time 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.199 that I was hung over so badly and I did 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:48.919 because d Yeah that one time. That was like ten 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.120 years ago though a long time ago. Yeah. So I'm 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.760 usually on my ship, but I can't kick this and 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.480 I'm blaming it on my allergies. I am in a 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.560 in an awful way right now. Um, I got my 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:05.720 noses running. I feel pressure on my cheek bones in 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:08.200 the front when I pressed like the sides of my noses. 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:09.960 What my nose me to my lips? I thought you 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.920 said you pressed the sides of your noses. Well, I'm 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:15.040 an Italian, so I might I think I might have 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:19.000 to you know, it's so freaking big. But look, look 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.880 I'm pressing on it and I feel compression there. You 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:23.720 know what you should do for that? What? Don't press 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:27.440 that easier than does? But it's now causing my left 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:29.160 moler on the top to hurt me a little bit. 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:34.040 And but I checked my my temperature several times and 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:38.240 I still oh my god, I used the rectal thermometer 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:41.600 in my mouth, that's the problem. Yeah, No, I was 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:44.880 five for all three times, so I don't have a fever. 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:48.600 But I don't know. What do you think if you 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:50.600 weren't drinking last night? What are you? What are you 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:53.080 in the last few days? Because my everyone in my 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:57.080 family has allergies but me, and they're all destroyed this week. 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:00.360 Oh yeah, my wife's taken double whatever where it is 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:03.400 she takes well, I took alive or whatever. I don't know. 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:05.960 I went around the room asking people what I should 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:08.680 take for this. I wouldn't even know. The first thing, Hike, 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.560 don't come to me because you're all Sniffley and Snizy 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:14.080 the room. By the way, speaking of Sniffley knows, we 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:15.799 did a bit on the elvist Red Morning Show today, 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:20.919 which today's Thursday, The ninth. Okay, So we were talking 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.520 about dumb reasons you break up with people, and somebody 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.200 texted in, I was dating a guy much taller than 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.480 me and his nose was running and it ran out 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.280 of his nose into mine, and so, okay, I would 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:36.840 definitely break up with the person for that. But how 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:42.280 what were you doing? How were you kissing where your 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:47.760 nose nostrils were facing up? You know you're that's a 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.560 little redundant. I apologize. Your nostrils are pointing up and 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:54.800 his are down? Like what kind of crazy? Yeah, like 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:56.440 I could see if it like it landed in her mouth, 0:02:57.080 --> 0:02:59.000 if she was upside down on the bed. Well, that's 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:00.840 what I'm saying. Where they would doing like a sixty 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:03.840 nine of the faces, Like what do you Her head 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.720 could have been hanging off the bed and you but 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:08.400 that wouldn't mean that I had to do then being 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.639 tall her point, Why don't you're saying the reverse there? 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.560 But know what she said was he was taller than me, 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:19.119 and so I think maybe kissing, but not upping into 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.680 our nose unless you like, go up. Was she snorting 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:23.280 in at the time it dropped by? I don't know, 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:26.919 I don't know that's gross. You know when your love 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.160 your love and you you do things and you overlook things. 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:31.920 But it's not it's not it's not funny. It's not 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:34.480 funny at all. It's not funny. Oh, I do have 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:37.560 a music story coming up. I can't wait to hear this. 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:39.920 Those are the that's the commercial with the Booger family, right, 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.880 the Green Boogers. Yeah. Yeah, So I am a bad 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.280 sick person. I am. I am a baby when I'm sick. 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.600 I don't know about you, but I'm the good time. 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:53.200 I'm the worst. I'm like I can't do anything. And 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.640 this robbing your girlfriend, like, go, suck it up, let's go. 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:58.680 She doesn't see me when I'm sick. She's like, I 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:01.320 don't want to deal with you because because when I 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:04.600 was a kid, I would get babied and get coddled. 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:09.560 Of course, Mommy, your mommy, my mom's Yeah, my mom 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.640 is in the area. When I'm sick, I'll make you soup. 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:13.480 Yeah that's my mom. I don't have that. So when 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:16.440 i'm alone, I just sit there like my wife is 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:18.200 very good to me. But when I'm sick, like, get 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.160 over it. I I just because I because I go, 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:22.040 I take care of the kids. I keep moving. I 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:24.840 don't have the luxury that right. I don't want to 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:29.000 be sexist, but it's usually but well, they're saying a 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:31.360 complimentary way that they keep moving. That's fine. They're born 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:33.600 that way. They can. They can handle all kinds of ship. 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:42.080 We can't. The slightest. Oh my god, I'm convinced that 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:45.279 it hits men differently. You are. Yeah, I think i'd 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.240 like to. I think I think the flu to a 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:53.640 man's biology, the testosterone interacts with the flu, making it 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:57.280 much worse. I think when women get the flu, it's 0:04:57.320 --> 0:04:59.560 it's like a four on a one to ten, and 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:02.280 they think it's what we have and they muscle through it. 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:04.880 And I'm only saying that not to be offensive to women, 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:06.880 but I'm saying it because you guys handle it like 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.000 it's a four. And if it is at ten and 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.000 you're handling like it's a four, God bless you. Yeah, 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:14.640 no pun intended. I just I feel like I've never 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:16.680 seen even when my wife is really sick, she'll go 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:19.320 all right, I gotta go, and she and she's fine, 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:21.880 And like here I lay on the couch and I 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:23.600 feel like someone kicked me in the face. The room 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:26.239 is spinning. I get that pain over my eyes. Anyway, 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:29.080 I'm attributing it to the pollen in the air and 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:31.440 the trees and full bloom and all that not. They're 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:35.120 not there yet. Um. You know. It was last summer, 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:37.040 in the middle of July, after we came back from 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:40.120 our two week break on this very podcast where I 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:42.080 told you the story of what happened to me on 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:45.520 the fourth of July where Robin and I and another 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:49.520 couple went to the Jersey shore and that we were approached. 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:54.640 Oh yeah, the swingers, swingers Aladro and his and his wife. 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:59.680 I'll have you alla want you? Yeah, yeah, So, okay, 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:03.960 remember that story. I don't know you if you listening 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:07.000 to you heard me tell story. And they wanted to 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:08.880 hook up with us, and the guy kept leaving and 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.159 then he kept coming, doubling back and he's like I'm back, 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.280 and then he was hitting you know, he's like, feel 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:16.040 my wife's movies. Feel my wife's movies. In case you 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:18.960 hadn't heard it, we're recapping slightly. Yeah, And so he 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.320 wanted like the girls to touch each other and everything. 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:24.400 So he was going to anniversary and we're gonna we 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:27.039 want we want to take you to our penthouse down 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:30.000 the street where we could all party all night and 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:35.760 watched the sun comes. All right, so um, this one 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:38.000 more day weekend, I was at the shore with Robin 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:40.520 and the same couple, and we hadn't seen each other 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:43.680 in a while, and in a while or since last year? 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:46.080 Have you seen them since? Yea twice? Oh you never 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:48.359 mentioned that. Yeah, we hung out a couple of times. 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:50.600 You hung out, you know, he wants to bang your 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:52.440 girlfriend and hung I would no, no, no, this is 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.440 my friend, my friend Joe and his girlfriend and the swingers. 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:58.359 No no, we never made friends with the swingers. As 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.479 you looking forwards me and in four of us, it 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:05.680 was the swinger night was Robin and I and my 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:10.360 friend Joe and his girlfriend. And it was a third couple, right, 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.640 and it was a third couple that we're hitting on. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:18.440 The third couple was not there this weekend? Well well, well, 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.800 so Robin and I were out to dinner reminiscing with 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:26.000 Joe and his girlfriend placed the Jersey Shore and Asbury 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:29.360 Park called Brando's not a sponsor, and we were having 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.560 Italian food and so after this, let's go to the 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:36.640 rooftop of the Asbury Hotel, not a sponsor, and we're like, sure, 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.840 let's go to the Asbury Hotel. And then Joe turns 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:42.160 to me as like, how funny would it be if 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.760 aldro and his wife were just where we left him 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:46.680 on the fourth of July? And I said, you know, 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.720 I said, this is a fifty fifty shot that that 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.000 guy will be up there, because if you think about it, well, 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:54.840 it's either he's there he's not. But there's a very 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:57.200 good chance. He's a very good chance he will be 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:59.920 there because that's his hanging, that's where that's his nest. 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.800 You almost saw his hang. Well, I didn't want to 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:07.400 see his hang. So sure enough we leave Brandos, we 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:10.320 go to the rooftop. As been walking towards the back 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:15.440 of the very hotel rooftop, there was Alejandro hitting on 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.360 a couple of girls like you ladies are gorgeous, You're 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:20.880 all gorgeous. I'm gonna buy you drinks, the same lines 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.560 he used on us on the fourth of July. And 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.480 Robin turns to me and she that's him, And then 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.240 she goes to Joe. There he is, and we're all 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:32.199 looking at each other like, holy sh it. The guy 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.480 was there he was back because that's his haunt, that's 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.800 where he goes. Yeah, so we uh, we avoided him. 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:40.400 He didn't recognize us, but I just thought it was fun. 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:43.640 He didn't recognize you. What a whore? He tried to 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:45.560 sleep with you? Yeah, but you know what need people? 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:49.040 He does that to every summer. I get it. You 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:50.760 think that he takes time off. Did you have the 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:55.560 conversation again with Robin? What conversation I have any conversation 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.080 with her? Like so a year later, like she were 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.800 willing to talk to a andro No d This guy 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:05.560 is like looks like Pitbull on crack, like real crack, 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:09.120 not psycho out of his mind, just just not Okay, 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:13.080 he's ugly. Pit Bull ugly, that's what you're saying, right, Okay, 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.840 ugly people just really burnt down. Pit Bull on crack 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.000 probably still looks like Pitbull. I'm gonna be like, okay, 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.640 Pitople on meth, it still probably looks like pit Yeah. 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:22.920 If you're on meth, you got you got like half teeth, 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:24.840 you know, teeth. I haven't done methsine third grade, so 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.720 it's me up. It isn't yeah, oh my god. Anyway, 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:31.800 So anyway, we'll move on, but I just would I 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:33.760 wanted to bring it full. Sorry, you're gonna after we 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:36.640 finished this podcast go back and edit all the no, 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.720 you get what you pay for a right, Yeah, which 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:42.680 if you guys paid ten cents of podcast, he would 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.040 take those. You know, we should revisit that. Well. You 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.520 know a bunch of people have tweeted me saying that 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.200 they would pay ten cents an episode. Yeah, and people 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:51.959 would tell tell me that they pay a quarter. You 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:55.160 know what else? People have suggested on the text more 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:57.679 tissues for the co hosts. There's that, and you know 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.360 I have some in my back pocket. But they also 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:02.760 suggested that we opened up a Brooklyn Boys merch store. 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:04.720 And what would that look like? And I'm thinking, like 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.040 I could totally see Slice for Life t shirts that 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:09.640 that's right right up front. All you should jar your 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:14.080 mom's tomato sauce with Brooklyn Boys tomato sauce, Marinara. Should 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:17.760 we open a merch store right now? It's great? Should 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:20.600 we open a merch store? I don't know, maybe I 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:23.280 mean that's greedy. Well, if it's a real Brooklyn Boys, 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.800 like a Brooklyn thing, we should open it up and 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:29.880 then burn it down for insurance. Would people wear would 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:34.720 people we'd steal the hub caps? Oh god, we would. 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.280 Actually would people buy a Brooklyn Boys Slice for Life 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:41.120 T shirt? If I believe they would, I would. What 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.040 would that look like? Would it have pizza on it? 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:44.480 Of course it would have PiZZ I think you'd have 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:46.640 real pizza on it. I think it like a scratch 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:48.559 And I think it asked that pizza stains needs to 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:53.440 smell like pepperoni. Uh, talk to Alejandro about that, listen. Uh, 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:58.920 that's fine. I would have T shirts. Um, I would 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:05.560 have Brooklyn Boys baseball hats and maybe a Brooklyn Boys 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:09.520 pizza cutter. Oh, one of those things. What about? What 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.280 about for the women? They can't use a pizza cutter? 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.640 They can't have a shirt, a baseball cap? What women 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:18.199 don't with baseball caps? Is there anything sexier than a 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.280 woman with her head through a ponytail? That's pretty, it's 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:22.240 pretty sexy, But I think a lot of most women 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:25.400 don't like. What are the general eyes reporting for duty? 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.720 What about specific items for that women would use, Like 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:30.719 an accessory that only a woman could use. I mean 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.000 like a handbag, Brooklyn Boys handbag? What are you talking about? 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.040 Stolen sap? Holder, what do you what do you mean 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:42.640 like bedazzled flask? Bedazzled? Well, men don't want to bedazzled. 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.120 We know men that would want to bedazzled flask. And 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:48.120 why would women want a flask? We don't. We're not alcoholics, 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.400 not that you're an alcoholsk somebody. We don't talk about alcohol. 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.400 It's gotta be about this podcast, So it has to 0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:58.040 be something specific. FedEx package is Brooklyn boys on it? 0:11:58.240 --> 0:11:59.760 Do you like that? What about what about a fuck you? 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:03.080 A oh f you Ape seventy seven shirt? I would 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.280 wear that absolutely, I would wear that. We have no 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:09.319 relevance in society, doesn't matter if some people don't mean 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.560 you're at your local state fair and you wear the 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.840 F you Ape seventy seven. If somebody knows that, comes 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.000 comes over to you, if somebody comes over you. And 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:20.440 if you had a shirt that said hashtag figot or 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:25.719 or Sagel, hashtag spagel, that'd be that be tremendous with 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.800 a picture of a bagel in a bag, like a 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:33.040 bag of bagels and under it hashtag spagel. Yeah, so 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.800 that you know, there's an instant bonding moment and then 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:37.480 like you know, like a circle with a line through 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:41.120 it over the bag, like say no to Spagel's. That'd 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.839 be great. That's the shirt. Someone's gonna make that for 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.360 me in a navy or a dark gray in an 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:50.480 Excel bring it. I'm thinking, no, it would would I 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.440 actually know what you know that that might actually we 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:58.640 might have some boy Spagel's, Yeah pizza and Spagel's Pizza, Spagel's, 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:03.439 ohs bagels frozen anyway, I don't know. This is all 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:07.800 just all right. So, speaking of Brooklyn, I don't want 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.959 Jersey promises on this podcast. I wanna, yeah, I want 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:15.520 to combine Brooklyn with the Jersey Shore. So we we 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.600 did a live show on Friday at Jenkinson's Boardwalk at 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.319 Jenkinson's Point Pleasant Beach in right, yeah, all right. So 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.240 it's a it's a massive it's a fairly large boardwalk 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.840 with the carnival games and food and ride. You know, 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:30.840 you know what we're talking about. If there was anywhere 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:35.800 near at Ocean or a leave. You've been at the 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.120 Iowa State Fair, but it's on a boardwalk all the time. 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.240 But it's in the summer. So we were did the 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.280 broadcast Friday and my wife says, oh, the kids want 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.720 to go to the beach. Now, let's go to the beach. 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.360 If you if you know anything about New Jersey, you 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.600 look at a map, it's got, you know, a couple 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.880 of hundred miles of coastline on whatever it is. And uh, 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:55.800 they decided they want to go to the same beach 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:58.480 we were out on Friday. I said, it's all these beaches. 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:00.120 We want to go to Point Pleasant, we want go 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:03.680 to the rides whatever. Not a sponsor. So we drive 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.199 down on Sunday because it's not Memorial Day. Day is Monday. 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.400 So we're like, go because you can't drive down there 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.320 on down on Thursday or Friday and up on Monday 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.319 because everyone's coming and going, We're going Sunday. We get 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:16.920 there like five o'clock. The beach closes at five thirty. 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:19.680 We figured we'll well, the lifeguards leave at five thirty, 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.560 can still go on the ocean. We get there at 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:26.120 five o'clock. It's mayhem. Can't find a parking space. Mayhem. 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:29.360 Every street is a parking lot of cars trying to 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:33.200 find parking. Half the street su permit parking only right. 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:35.440 And so my wife is driving because it's her car. 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:37.840 But you know, we're from Brooklyn. We like to give 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:40.760 our advice point not so pleasant. Right. So at one 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:42.680 point I went, hey, you should make it right here, 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.640 and so she made the right and we got like 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:47.800 nailed into traffic and no man's land. And I got 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.000 it for like twenty minutes. Oh yeah, make a right, 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.960 swap move, make a right. We could have made a left. 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:54.920 You ought to make it right, Mr big shot in 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.600 the passenger seat. That's like taking the wrong We're going 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.280 down the wrong path and Dragon's and then you you die. 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:11.320 Wow reference that's wow. Okay, by the path to the left. Yeah, okay. 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:14.120 So after about an hour, now you know I'm I'm 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:16.680 I'm a Brooklyn driver. I'm an aggressive driver. I want 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:18.360 the wheel. I'm like, hey, you want me to take 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:22.320 the note? I got it. But she's getting upset and frustrated. Whatever. Anyway, 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:24.880 we we we parked right by the hotel we stayed 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:29.280 in across the street. It was a short block. It's 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:33.560 two beautiful new homes with spiral staircases and giant decks 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.360 in the back to look at the ocean. And the 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:40.080 third piece of land on the corner is a construction site. Right, 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:44.440 nothing's been building something we see someone pulling out. We 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.200 quickly grabbed this. We make a crazy U turn. We 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.720 grabbed the spot. It's a meter, okay, and the meters 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.160 are still working on a frigging Sunday, and point pleasant 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:55.960 you have to put money in the meter. Ridiculous. I 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.480 mean they only have three months to make their entire 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:01.800 year's work. Frigging sun Day, the Lord's Day, the matter 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.760 memorial data line to day. They're on the clock, right, 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:06.880 So first of all, f you for having meters on 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.400 Sunday night. But okay, so we put the credit card 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:13.680 in now Sundays my friend. So I'm in the cart, 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.280 my wife and two of my kids. My oldest kid 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.400 is with her boyfriend driving in his car. She's driving 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:21.280 because she knows the area a little better. He doesn't 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.400 want to drive around New Jersey. It's not from New Jersey, okay. 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:27.160 So I know they don't have the skill set to 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:30.400 fight for a spot the way a trained professional does. 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:34.200 So I call him, where are you? Oh, we're like 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.600 eight minutes away from where you are because we're tracking 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.000 them on an app and they're stuck in in bumper 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.560 to bumper street traffic trying away. Whose bright idea was 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:46.600 it to go down the shore again from my wife, 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:48.840 and we took two cars, which means you have to 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:52.720 find two spots. Okay. So as we're parking in the 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.680 spot with the meat with the meter and we're putting 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:59.200 the money in this a driveway behind us, right behind 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.760 our car whether whether one of the houses is and 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.280 then about twenty ft behind our car is the next 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:09.960 parking space. It's a metered park, metered spot. Two guys 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:11.960 get in the car and they're pulling out. So we 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:14.320 call my other daughter and I say, hey, get over. 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:17.080 Here is a guy getting out. It's gonna take me 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.280 ten minutes to get there because I'm traffic. Did you 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:23.760 hold on? So first my daughter says, my middle daughter says, 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.160 I'll get in the spot and stand there for her. 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:32.720 That doesn't work, and maybe in small town America people like, oh, 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:35.399 he's in the spot, let him go. No if you 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.520 do that in the Northeast. So I got. I go 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:40.280 into the window of the two guys in the car 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:43.720 and I said, excuse me, yeah, what what I like 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:47.440 the New Jersey attitude? I said, are you guys leaving? Yeah? 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:50.639 I go, I'll give you ten bucks if you just 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:52.919 sit here till my daughter gets here in like eight minutes. 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:57.240 Don't leave because I figured parking was thirty. By the 0:17:57.280 --> 0:18:00.320 way that I mentioned that parking is thirty dollars. We 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.280 get there at five thirty. The day's almost done and 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:06.639 it's thirty. I saw. I'm figuring it's less money, not 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:08.560 where The guy was like, not thirty. Now he could 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.280 have been lying to me. He could have been right, 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.080 he could have been ten. But so I told the guy, 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:14.760 I'll give you ten bucks worth the ten bucks at 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:18.080 that point, right, give me a ten bucks. The guy says, no, 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:22.000 I gotta go ten bucks. Now, I gotta go. Now, 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:26.040 I gotta go. I gotta go. So he pulls out, 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:28.520 and my daughter's like, I'll stand here. I go. You 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:31.879 cannot stand here this now this cars lined up the 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:36.000 street right, they're lined up in both directions, but they're 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:39.040 at a light now, so no one is coming towards 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.439 where we are. They're all going in the opposite direction 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.320 outside of the street. And they haven't noticed the spot yet. 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:49.040 So I see the construction site and it's got you know, bricks, 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:54.919 an outhouse, um and orange cone. Run. I grab an 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.480 orange cone. I put it in the spot. Perfect Now 0:18:57.520 --> 0:19:00.359 in Brooklyn, I'll explain why in Brooklyn we grew, people 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:02.680 would keep extra cones in their trunk. That's right, in 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:06.040 case of emergency, an emergency being you want to save 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.000 a spot for somebody, Right, So I put the car, 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:10.000 I put the cone in the spot, and I tell 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:11.960 my daughter walk away, walk away, don't look at it, 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.159 walk away, don't act like we did that. Walk away, 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.080 and Dad, you can't do that. Oh, yes, she did, 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.280 so she just she just mom, Dad put a spot, 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:21.640 cone in the spot. So my wife looks. He goes, 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:24.200 he's some Brooklyn. He's allowed, of course, as he starts laughing. 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.119 How many cars passed and how much time passed it was? 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:30.520 How many people? It was eleven minutes after you put 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:32.680 the car in, eleven minutes before my daughter showed up, 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.639 I would say thirty cars went by. They all looked 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.199 and kept going. Not one of them thought it's the 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:41.639 cone scam. Not one of them because they're not from Brooklyn, right. 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:45.080 Plus it's right by a construction site. They must have figured. 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:47.040 But why would there be a cone on a Sunday? 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.199 Didn't make any sense? Yeah, but there was still there 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:51.440 was there a dumpster by nearby. There was a car 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:53.640 behind it and a driveway in front of it. Yeah, 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:56.200 well you know your your eyes just see the entire 0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:59.360 scene and you're distracted. Okay, the whole place is under construction, 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:01.640 right right right, I'm questioning that. So my daughter keeps 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:03.320 looking to make sure it's the spots there. I go, 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:06.560 stop looking. If you look the chick is up, people 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:09.679 will know you're eyeing it like you did it. You 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:12.320 don't know anything, you know not don't look, don't look. 0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:15.600 And so as my my daughter pulled up the block 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:17.560 from the other side of the road, this is brilliant. 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:19.200 I wait, I wait till she makes the U turn 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.560 because I don't want to attention. She makes the U 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:24.600 turn and just I pull the code out just as 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:27.439