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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope

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Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it

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Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship

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Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so

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Speaker 1: much for joining me for session Therapy for Black Girls Podcast.

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Speaker 1: We'll get right into the episode after a word from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors. An awareness of Black Maternal Health Week, we're

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Speaker 1: collaborating with Natal, an award winning audio docuseries about having

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Speaker 1: a baby while black. This week, we're passing the mic

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Speaker 1: to black parents to share their own stories on their

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Speaker 1: own terms. It also highlights those caring for and advocating

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Speaker 1: on behalf of black rural families at every stage of

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Speaker 1: pregnancy and beyond. And this crossover with Natal parents storytellers

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Speaker 1: Sheila and Eric Brown, an Asia third Event and Sierra

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Speaker 1: hunter adjust to life postpartum and the powerful transformations they've undergone.

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Speaker 1: The episode also explores ancestral care practices passed down generations

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Speaker 1: and features a Georgia based selectation consultant and her journeys

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Speaker 1: of birthwork. Black Internal Health Week is a week of awareness, activism,

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Speaker 1: and community building intended to deepen the national conversation about

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Speaker 1: Black maternal health in the US and centered the voices

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Speaker 1: of Black mamas, women, families, and stakeholders. If something resonates

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Speaker 1: with you while enjoying this episode, please share with us

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Speaker 1: on social media using the hashtag TBG in session or

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Speaker 1: join us over in the sister circles to talk more

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Speaker 1: in depth about the episode. You can join us at

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Speaker 1: community dot therapy for Black Girls dot com. Here are

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Speaker 1: their stories you're listening to Chapter nine, Metamorphosis. We delight

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Speaker 1: in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the

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Speaker 1: changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. Maya Angelou.

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Speaker 1: There are certain rituals that Nigerian moms immediately asked her births,

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Speaker 1: you know, straight out of the hospital. They do they

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Speaker 1: need to do? They have to do so. Number one

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Speaker 1: ritro or tradition that I'd like to share with you

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Speaker 1: guys that Nigerian mothers do is the sitting on hot

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Speaker 1: water slash vaginals teeming. Okay. In Ethiopia, after you give birth,

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Speaker 1: you count forty days or eighty days. If it's a boy,

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Speaker 1: you count forty days, if it's a girl eighty days.

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Speaker 1: And when they get to that age, you celebrate. Your

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Speaker 1: family members and your friends would take care of you.

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Speaker 1: So they would wash your clothes, they would make your food,

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Speaker 1: they would bath your kid, they would do whatever you

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Speaker 1: need to do in order for you to relax and

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Speaker 1: for your body to heal. H All around the world

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Speaker 1: and across the Black diaspora, countries like Nigeria and Ethiopia

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Speaker 1: honor the period after birth a postpartum in their own ways.

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Speaker 1: As the Atlantic slave trade brought millions of Black people

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Speaker 1: to the US, African midwives, healers, and childbirth attendants aboard

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Speaker 1: those cargo ships also brought with them their traditions and

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Speaker 1: vast knowledge of the human body. The African American midwife

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Speaker 1: or granny midwife as are commonly referred to, would emerge

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Speaker 1: as a vitally important healthcare worker for enslaved people and

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Speaker 1: many poor women in the rural South. Next morning I

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Speaker 1: go to see had and hope they begin long, look

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Speaker 1: like everything's finely that and lo that baby and hell

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Speaker 1: their little things. You so yeah. See. Year As birth

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Speaker 1: moved into hospitals and the field of gynecology became more prominent,

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Speaker 1: in the early twentieth century, public health departments launched campaigns

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Speaker 1: to eliminate granny midwives. But midwives like Miss Mary Coley

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Speaker 1: of Albany, Georgia, who you just heard, they found ways

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Speaker 1: to maintain a foot in both worlds modern medicine and

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Speaker 1: folk killing practices. This delicate balance was supported by the

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Speaker 1: deep relationship these women had with the spirit world, as

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Speaker 1: many granny midwives believed their skills were ordained from God

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Speaker 1: and acquired through divine revelations. So as time went on,

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Speaker 1: those ancestral practices and beliefs about pregnancy and postpartum carried over,

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Speaker 1: ultimately making up the very core of the Southern tradition.

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Speaker 1: And we know that the Southern traditional practices come from Africa.

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Speaker 1: So when a new mom has her baby, the Southern

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Speaker 1: tradition is that this mom is fussed over. As historian

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Speaker 1: Kalina read Maxwell writes, postpartum rituals were an acknowledgment that

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Speaker 1: a new parent had been on a journey and had

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Speaker 1: now returned, and that return home required a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of care, attention, and fussing over by loved ones. Mom speaks,

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Speaker 1: should not touch the ground, She should have her feet up,

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Speaker 1: she should be rested. Um, she should not sit on

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Speaker 1: any cost surfaces for the first six months. She should

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Speaker 1: not be doing that. If she has to, there needs

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Speaker 1: to be a pillow place in between her and that surface.

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Speaker 1: There's a transformation that happened after birth, mentally, physically, emotionally,

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Speaker 1: in spiritual. It's inside out and back again. Postpartum, whether

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Speaker 1: after a healthy baby or after a loss. For many,

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Speaker 1: is a lifelong journey. September was a beautiful Sunday in Mississippi.

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Speaker 1: It was the day Sheila gave birth to a healthy

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Speaker 1: baby boy named e j and the comfort of her

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Speaker 1: own home. The next morning, his parents got up with

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Speaker 1: the other kids to give him breakfasts and stuff and

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Speaker 1: we left in a little bit. But also my sister

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Speaker 1: came back and my mom came over, and um, his

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Speaker 1: mom had cooked all of his food. So that's always

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Speaker 1: my favorite part um catfish. That's that's my favorite um

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Speaker 1: and sweet potatoes, so um there was that. You know,

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Speaker 1: we pretty much had a fish fry the next day.

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Speaker 1: Eric was also enjoyed being a new dad again after

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Speaker 1: Africa was I was kind of on a high. So

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Speaker 1: for those first few days, I was like excited to

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Speaker 1: cook breakfast and help the babies and help and you

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Speaker 1: know we had there was like festive atmosphere. So it

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Speaker 1: was all real cool and I was I was signed

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Speaker 1: up for it. I was ready. Everyone was keeping an

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Speaker 1: eye on Sheila, even her Instagram followers who were still

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Speaker 1: really interested in seeing what happened next. My mother in law,

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Speaker 1: his mom was like how you know, how you feeling?

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Speaker 1: You okay? And I was like I'm a little story.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay. Like his mom and my mom just went

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Speaker 1: back and forth like okay, don't you think maybe you

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Speaker 1: should go like lay down or something like you just

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Speaker 1: had a baby, you know, And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I guess I should go lay down, you know, like

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Speaker 1: I said there with everybody but something about them saying that,

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Speaker 1: And there was a midwife I think who messaged me

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Speaker 1: on Instagram was like are you resting? And I realized

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Speaker 1: like no, I'm not so I'm gonna go lay down.

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Speaker 1: And then I just kind of became more intentional about

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Speaker 1: trying to risk and recover and stay in bed in

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Speaker 1: the days following the birth of her son, Isaiah, and

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Speaker 1: Asia wished she could have just stayed home. Yeah, those

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Speaker 1: first two three days were so stressful, like, um, because

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Speaker 1: I had to come back for him to his jaundice

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Speaker 1: test wasn't right or something like that, and so I

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Speaker 1: had to come back, and walking through the hospital after

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Speaker 1: just giving birth, like I was like, I can't do this,

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to carry him. I couldn't carry him

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Speaker 1: in the car seat when I got the car, like

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Speaker 1: I was so weak still, so I had him on

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Speaker 1: a harness on my body and I still was like

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Speaker 1: wobbling through the hospital. It was the first winter of

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Speaker 1: the COVID nineteen crisis reactionary hospital policies, including who and

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Speaker 1: how many visitors patients were allowed to have, was constantly changing,

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Speaker 1: and Asia was confused about who could or couldn't be

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Speaker 1: there with her. So she didn't have anyone, not her

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Speaker 1: Dula Jasmine, not her support person Laurie, no one, And

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Speaker 1: like even some lady was like are you okay? And

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Speaker 1: I was like I'm just trying to get upstairs, and

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Speaker 1: she was like, oh man, can I help you and stuff?

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Speaker 1: But I didn't want to touch me as COVID and

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Speaker 1: so like I feel like they could have handled that

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Speaker 1: better or set that up differently. And Asia's on and

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Speaker 1: off again, Crush was back on again and very much

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Speaker 1: in the picture. Well, she wasn't able to be at

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Speaker 1: the birth. It just so happened that she lived down

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Speaker 1: the street from the hospital and aims, so it was

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Speaker 1: pretty easy for her to come scoop up in Asia

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Speaker 1: and the baby's ay. So I went there and I

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Speaker 1: just like she was like you okay, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you need to sit down for a minute. And then

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Speaker 1: I woke up like an hour and a half later,

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Speaker 1: Like I was like, I fell asleep at her house

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Speaker 1: and like and Isaiah was just like laying right there

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Speaker 1: and she was just like watching him, like she was like,

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Speaker 1: you went to sleep, and I didn't want to wake

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Speaker 1: you up. I thought you might have needed that sleep.

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Speaker 1: Cr could relate giving birth at home in Hawaii to

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Speaker 1: her daughter. Illinois had taken its toll. Well, first, you

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Speaker 1: can't really walk. You gotta hell, like you know, like

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Speaker 1: he're open, like I mean, I didn't rip or tear,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, like you just have to go back.

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Speaker 1: You do like um the staff, like you know, the

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Speaker 1: herbs and like every time you pee, like you spray

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Speaker 1: yourself with the herbs, and you know what, you want

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Speaker 1: to really care that and then it's just like you know,

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Speaker 1: keeping the baby's safe. CR's midwife came by a few

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Speaker 1: times to check on her, but CR still wasn't feeling her.

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Speaker 1: But that didn't really matter because CR had a whole

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Speaker 1: wealth of in sexual traditions to tap into, like an

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Speaker 1: herbal sits bath and even staying inside the house for

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Speaker 1: ten days after the baby arrives. Some women don't leave

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Speaker 1: for thirty forty days, some people from different places, like

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Speaker 1: like that's their culture, you don't leave for forty days,

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Speaker 1: and like who wasn't with They're like, girl, I can't

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Speaker 1: leave the house for forty days. My mom won't let me.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like it's okay, no, girl, I can't forty days,

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Speaker 1: like because it's their culture, you know, like like yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Sheila is one of those people. Growing up

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Speaker 1: in Mississippi, the forty day land period is and always

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Speaker 1: has been the norm. You know, in Mississippi, it's typical

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Speaker 1: for you to be expected to stay in the house

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Speaker 1: for six weeks, you know, and some people want you

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Speaker 1: to stay in bad for six weeks. So I try.

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Speaker 1: At this time, I was like, you know what, we

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Speaker 1: went through a lot. I'm gonna try to stay in

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Speaker 1: this bed as long as i can. Resting for this

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Speaker 1: long never what had happened in Arizona when her middle

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Speaker 1: children were born, but at home in Mississippi postpartum with

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Speaker 1: serious business and trust, they weren't playing around. They will

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Speaker 1: wrap you on the hand if they catch a newborn

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Speaker 1: baby out before six weeks. Somehow they know whether or

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Speaker 1: not it's six weeks. They do know. This rest period

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Speaker 1: was also a moment for Sheila to have time to herself,

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Speaker 1: to bond with e j and to appreciate the simple

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Speaker 1: things like holding and feeding him. That also meant excepting

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Speaker 1: a lot of help from eric Um, watching him do

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of stuff, and it was it was hard,

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Speaker 1: but that's what it looked like being trying to risk

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Speaker 1: and me spent a lot of time in the back

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Speaker 1: with e j Um nursing, just the first days of

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Speaker 1: nursing and dealing with engorgement and pumping and you know

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Speaker 1: Eric taking bags and putting them in the freezer. Um,

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Speaker 1: that's what most mostly with the first days exists of

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Speaker 1: nursing and pumping and just recovering over in aimes, the

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Speaker 1: doctors wanted to see Isaiah one last time to run

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Speaker 1: additional test. Stuck at the hospital for a second day

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Speaker 1: in a row, and Nation found a silver lining in

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Speaker 1: the situation if she had to be there. She was

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Speaker 1: happy that she could at least meet with the lactation specialists.

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Speaker 1: And she was a really sweet lady. Even though I

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Speaker 1: had to walk around the hospital with this baby on me,

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Speaker 1: she was really sweet, older lady and stuff. She was like,

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Speaker 1: you want me to carry him? I was like no,

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Speaker 1: But the next time she's like, let's get you a wheelchair.

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Speaker 1: And this visit was on top of all the other preps.

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Speaker 1: She's already done learning about breastfeeding essentials on her own

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Speaker 1: and alongside her dou la. So Jasmine did like this

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Speaker 1: powder point thing with me about breastfeeding and about other

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Speaker 1: uh ways to feed your child. Um. I told her

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Speaker 1: I went to breastfeedes, so then she recentered it around that.

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Speaker 1: And then I also took the breastfeeding classes with the hospital.

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Speaker 1: Those are also virtual, and so the next few days

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Speaker 1: were great. It was just cuddles and trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out the best way to Breastbee, make sure he got

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Speaker 1: enough milk and all that. While this wasn't crs first

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Speaker 1: time at the rodeo, trying to wean off one baby

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Speaker 1: in preparation for another still took some getting used to.

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Speaker 1: Then she she is exactly the same. They lashed on

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Speaker 1: and they don't believe like I had. When Lily Doyle

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Speaker 1: was in my room, like right before she was where

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Speaker 1: I kept talking to you like she would hold it.

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Speaker 1: She was like I just hold it like she'd fall asleep,

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Speaker 1: and she with my boob in her hand, and I'm

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Speaker 1: like after she stopped breastfeeding, and I finally told her like, hey,

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Speaker 1: like there's a new baby coming, like your dirty little

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Speaker 1: grubby hands from preschool cannot touch my cheechee because the

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Speaker 1: baby is going to be drinking it. And yeah, now

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Speaker 1: lady's attached to it, she's still breastfeeding. She has to

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Speaker 1: hold it in the same way hold it. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you could hold it like this. More from Natal After

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Speaker 1: the break, Ciara and Asia and Sheila All decided to

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Speaker 1: breastfeed or body feed just one of the many ways

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Speaker 1: that a parent can feed their baby. There are a

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Speaker 1: number of benefits associated with nursing. For one, it lowers

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Speaker 1: the risk of breast and ovarian cancer, diabetes, and high

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Speaker 1: blood pressure and breathing parents. For infants, the parents milk

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Speaker 1: gives them critical nutrients like calcium and potassium, plus essential

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Speaker 1: proteins and antibodies that build up their immunity. And nursing

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Speaker 1: skin to skin also creates a really special bonding experience

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Speaker 1: for parent and child. At about the US is one

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Speaker 1: of the lowest rate to breastfeeding among high income countries

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Speaker 1: end of all racial groups. When it comes to attempting

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Speaker 1: to breastfeed, Black women in the US have the lowest rate,

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Speaker 1: and there's a whole lot of reasons as to why.

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Speaker 1: According to the a c l U, black people are

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Speaker 1: less likely to have jobs that offer higher pay, greater flexibility,

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Speaker 1: and paid family leave benefits that are all associated with

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Speaker 1: longer continuation of breastfeeding. This is especially the case for

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Speaker 1: black families in rural areas, who already face limited access

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Speaker 1: to services like breastfeeding education and a longer commute to

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Speaker 1: even get to the places that do have the services.

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Speaker 1: And for centuries, black women were forced to serve as

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Speaker 1: wet nurses, breastfeeding and airing for their enslavers white infants

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Speaker 1: during and even after slavery, So there's not so distant.

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Speaker 1: History only creates more stigma, confusion, and a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of myths to debunk. Well, the number one is, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, my mom couldn't breastfeed, so I can't breastfeed either.

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Speaker 1: That's Crystal Star Flowers, who was affectionately known as Star.

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Speaker 1: She's a certified lactation counselor, yoga practitioner and a mother Invens, Georgia,

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Speaker 1: a small town of just outside of Augusta. Given the

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Speaker 1: town size, Star is a well known birthworker in the area.

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Speaker 1: She's dynamic, full of life, and in a category all

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Speaker 1: her own. They would probably call me, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: a yoga girl. I get a lot. But first, my

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Speaker 1: name is Crystal Star Flower, so it's already random. I

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Speaker 1: have so many aliases because no one believes in Barbie

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Speaker 1: is my nickname, so then that also makes me like

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Speaker 1: really no, unbelievable. Right. Then they meet me and I'm

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Speaker 1: all like Sunflowers and moons, So they're like, what is

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Speaker 1: going on with this girl? Star is clearly no stranger

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Speaker 1: to misconceptions. So when it comes to breastfeeding, she's literally

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Speaker 1: heard them all. My milk is spoiled. I couldn't breastfeed

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Speaker 1: are my boobs are too small? I can't hold my

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Speaker 1: baby like that, breastfeed my baby so long, that's gonna

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Speaker 1: spoil my baby. I tried, but it hurt real bad,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, I thought it was supposed to hurt.

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Speaker 1: The craziest one is, you know, my breastle for my

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Speaker 1: man and so my baby can't nurse on them. Even

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Speaker 1: from a young age, Star always knew she wanted to

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Speaker 1: help people and she had ideas about how she do that,

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Speaker 1: but becoming a birthworker never crossed her mind. Just like

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Speaker 1: so many before her, Star was called into this work.

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Speaker 1: My aha moment is happening every day. Every day I

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Speaker 1: have an AHA moment because being a birth worker. To

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Speaker 1: write that down and say that's what you are, I

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Speaker 1: would have never thought in a million years I would

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Speaker 1: be a birth worker. But that's who I am, and

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Speaker 1: that's who I was bred to be, from my grandparents

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Speaker 1: to my just everything about me born in Cairo, Georgia

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Speaker 1: and raised in Florida. Growing up, Star would come back

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Speaker 1: to her rents often to visit her grandparents. That precious

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Speaker 1: time being nurtured by them is one of her earliest

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Speaker 1: memories of seeing black folks caring and watching out for

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Speaker 1: their own. I think my grandmother's house was the doctor

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Speaker 1: for me. Um, That's just what it was. And my

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Speaker 1: grandmother was a pastor's wife and principal, so I saw

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Speaker 1: a really good healthy balance because as a principal, I

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Speaker 1: know she had books and would educate us. But then

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Speaker 1: her history is so strong in her family where her grandmother,

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Speaker 1: her mother, and her father, which were tobacco farmers. They

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Speaker 1: they literally wanted us to go to the country, be

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Speaker 1: with them, sit around your great grandparents, get to know

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Speaker 1: your people, enjoy the stories that they're telling. And that

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Speaker 1: was the thing that I liked the most. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I really like sitting down listen to what they did

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Speaker 1: way back then. It was so interesting to me. And

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Speaker 1: I think it's just was a calling. I can't even

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Speaker 1: I don't like the word calling, but it was just

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Speaker 1: a feeling, like I want to know. As puberty rolled around,

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Speaker 1: Star was encouraged to be curious about her body and

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Speaker 1: how it was changing. Well, my body, My body has

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Speaker 1: always given me problems um At a very early age,

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Speaker 1: fifth grade, I was known as Star with the breast,

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Speaker 1: so I developed breast really early. But I was very

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Speaker 1: fortunate because I had a mother and a father who

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Speaker 1: were not afraid to talk to me about my body.

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Speaker 1: And because my mother was raised to in a home

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Speaker 1: where you did not talk about that, she was very

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Speaker 1: open to talking to me about my body. That really

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Speaker 1: helped me cultivate a really good relationship with my body

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Speaker 1: and kind of helped me help my friends with their bodies.

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Speaker 1: And that's probably where it all started. Back in her

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Speaker 1: early twenties, Start was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Shortly thereafter,

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Speaker 1: she found out she was pregnant. Those two things together

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Speaker 1: were a lot to process in a short amount of time.

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Speaker 1: I went from brain tumor to pregnancy to a mother

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Speaker 1: within eight months, so it was never a time for

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Speaker 1: me one to grieve the tumor. I literally just jumped

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Speaker 1: into being pregnant. I didn't even want to be a

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Speaker 1: mom my first six months of being pregnant. I hid

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Speaker 1: it from the world. A month before her due date,

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Speaker 1: Star Wars rushed to the e R. Her cervix was

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Speaker 1: opening too early, so in order to prevent premature labor,

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Speaker 1: doctors told her she would need a cervical circluch, a

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Speaker 1: procedure to stitcher cervis back up. It was in this

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Speaker 1: moment that Star decided to completely change her mindset about

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Speaker 1: this pregnancy. One being a brain tumor mother that's having

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Speaker 1: a bay b and now having to go into surgery

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Speaker 1: to keep a baby. So on March twenty one, I

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Speaker 1: told myself, if I'm gonna be a mom, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be the best mom ever. And those words have anchored

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Speaker 1: me because I didn't choose parenting to be my style

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Speaker 1: of practicing, but that's what I decided to do because

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Speaker 1: it was what I was already doing. This was the sign,

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Speaker 1: the confirmation Crystal Star needed to keep moving forward. And

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Speaker 1: then I had my daughter, and from there people were

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Speaker 1: coming to me. I just literally had my baby. I'm breastfeeding.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling everybody about breastfeeding because while I was pregnant,

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Speaker 1: I was researching like a fool, like what about this?

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Speaker 1: What about this? I'm talking to my neurologists about this.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to the pediatric doctors about this. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to my O B g N like all of my doctors,

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Speaker 1: and I had a really good healthcare team, and as

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Speaker 1: I questioned, I gained knowledge, which then I just gave

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Speaker 1: away because that's what we do. As she continued to

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Speaker 1: share her pregnancy and breastfeeding experiences with families, where it

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Speaker 1: eventually got back to Folks Indicator Georgia, one of the

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Speaker 1: local wik Or Women, Infants and Children programs was looking

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Speaker 1: for engaging healthcare workers like Star. And I got a

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Speaker 1: phone call saying, hey, you want to work here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to work here. I didn't even really know

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Speaker 1: what the job was. I just know it's about mommy's

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Speaker 1: and breastfeeding. And once I started working there, the aha

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Speaker 1: slowly rolled in, like Wow, I get to do what

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Speaker 1: I love, talk to people, help people. This is not

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Speaker 1: even this is not real. And then the spirit just said, learned, Star,

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Speaker 1: learn all you can get, everything you can learn, and

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Speaker 1: this department you get it. And that's what I did.

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Speaker 1: And I went from there to Emory Hospital, same thing.

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Speaker 1: Learned start whether at a hospital and a clinic, we're

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Speaker 1: at home with clients. Start learned how to address new

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Speaker 1: parents feeding concerns everything from remedies for crack nipples and

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Speaker 1: slow infant weight gain to sharing advice on the best

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Speaker 1: waste of story milk and get a baby to latch

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Speaker 1: on today and rends. Star is still asking questions, still learning,

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Speaker 1: and still creating these aha moments with everyone she meets.

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Speaker 1: My business hard say, imagination builder. That's what I call myself.

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Speaker 1: I'm an imagination builder, and um, it's very different because

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Speaker 1: it's like, what what do you mean? But when people

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Speaker 1: begin to ask questions about what's an imagination builder, then

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Speaker 1: I can go into well, based on your you know,

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Speaker 1: breastfeeding goals or your health goes, I'm here to help

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Speaker 1: you imagine what you want and believe in it so

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Speaker 1: you can achieve it. And no two days are ever alike. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'll say first, I'm blessed because my daughter gets to

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Speaker 1: see all of this with me. So as soon as

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Speaker 1: we hit the ground, we wake up and she knows

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Speaker 1: what mommy does and she's like that same question, what

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Speaker 1: are we gonna do today, mommy? And um, I have

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Speaker 1: a calendar and I have people schedule right, so I

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Speaker 1: know nine o'clock is this person, twelve thirty is this

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Speaker 1: person yogurt seven. I help moms find solace in peace

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Speaker 1: in their journey of becoming who they need to be,

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Speaker 1: not only as a mother, but as a wife, a sister,

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Speaker 1: a daughter, a friend, a neighbor. And if that mother

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Speaker 1: has a family member or cousin or brother or husband

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Speaker 1: that they would like to introduce to their practice, I'm

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Speaker 1: willing to work with them as well, because I like

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Speaker 1: to work with the whole family and not exclude anyone.

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Speaker 1: Every conversation starts with her asking what do you want?

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's nursing, maybe it's formula, or maybe it's both.

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Speaker 1: The only gold Star has for her families is nourishment

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Speaker 1: and growth. So instead of a breast is best approach?

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Speaker 1: That is best? Is the bottom line. I'm coming into

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Speaker 1: it saying, hey, first and foremost, we want to feed

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Speaker 1: your baby. So what are we feeding the baby? And

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Speaker 1: we're talking about not feeding cabill serve and making your

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00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: own formula because that was my important thing. I knew

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Speaker 1: how much she wanted to be a natural and see

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Speaker 1: these words we live in natural mom. She wants to

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Speaker 1: be at this natural mom. So now she wants to

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Speaker 1: make this breast milk because what's on the shelf is

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Speaker 1: not good enough, So we talked about what's in formula,

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Speaker 1: how to make formula No matter if she's working with

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Speaker 1: extended family members, parents of multiples, or same sex couples,

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00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 1: Crystal Stars trauma and form care allows her to support

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Speaker 1: postpartum parents and the ways that heal and transform them

429
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 1: from the inside out. Yeah, in the space and in

430
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: the season, I am right now. I know that my

431
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 1: spirit is gonna take me whereever I need to go,

432
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 1: based on whoever needs me. And that's what I used

433
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: to keep me here and Rince Georgia first and foremost.

434
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: I let my spirit ground me and say, this is

435
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: where you are right now, and you're here for a reason.

436
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 1: More from Needle after the Break. Speaking of postpartum, one

437
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: resource that you definitely want to check out is Coddle.

438
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: Ruth Martin Gordon, a mother and birth worker based in Florida,

439
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: found it Coddle to share her postpartum struggles to empower others.

440
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 1: Along with this, Caddle offers a line of postpartum self

441
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: care covery products rooted in African, Asian and Caribbean traditions.

442
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: The hope is that through community and healing herbs, parents

443
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 1: can better navigate life postpartum. To shop and learn more,

444
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: visit caddle dot co. Have you ever heard the saying

445
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 1: she get it from her mama. If the answer is yes,

446
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: then you should definitely tune in to the award winning

447
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: hip hop inspired science podcasts In Those Genes. Hosted by

448
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: Dr Janina Jeff. The show uses genetics to uncover the

449
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: lost identities of African descended Americans through narrative storytelling, skits

450
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: and all your favorite beats. Their latest season explores long

451
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: held myths like the genetics of rhythm, athleticism and even

452
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: the notion that black don't crack. You can listen to

453
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: In Those Genes wherever you get your podcasts, now back

454
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: to the show. As beautiful as the Coup's cuddles and

455
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: new baby smells are, there's a reason postpartum is called

456
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: the fourth trimester. Postpartum is always hard for me. It's

457
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: a it's a lack of sleep thing. You know, you're

458
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: not getting much leap, and that's just that's just hard.

459
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: It's just hard to function and not get sleep, and

460
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: then this new person is depending on you. It's just hard,

461
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: and I never really know. It's just always that thing

462
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 1: that I just make it through. I just make it

463
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: through it. You know, I know what's in He'll be

464
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: sleeping on his own, will be fine, and that's usually

465
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: what I'm shooting to, Like, let me just get the

466
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: ten months where he can sleep on his own and

467
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: then I'll be fine. But that that thing came up again.

468
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 1: You know a lot of anxiety, like I said, watching

469
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: him do all of that stuff, and especially when when

470
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: he was working, I was mostly managing the home, so

471
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: one it felt like I felt like he was taking

472
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: over my job. So I had some you know like

473
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: control let like letting go of you know, me not

474
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: doing it. That was hard. Um. And then just again

475
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: watching him be it's like tired and not being able

476
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: to help. So that it was just it was hard,

477
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: I guess, um, yeah, just most anxiety. I would say

478
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: more than more than depression. It was more anxiety than depression.

479
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: Just feeling like I need to hurry up and be

480
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: able to help him. Sheila saw how much Eric was

481
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: doing around the house, everything from taking care of the

482
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: older for boys, to looking for a new job, to

483
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: caring for her and the baby e j. It was

484
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: a lot day by day. The afterbirth. Why that Eric

485
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: had initially felt was wearing off and wearing off quickly.

486
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: Maybe week four that's when the burnout started to sit in,

487
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was ready, you know, we

488
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 1: were slowly getting off our diet a little bit because

489
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: I was just it was a lot, you know, natural

490
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: Managing a natural lifestyle for yourself is a lot. Managing

491
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,959
Speaker 1: a natural lifestyle for five people under the age of

492
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: six is even harder. And doing that by yourself, but

493
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: not having her help at that time, that was extremely hard.

494
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: That was extremely difficult. Um for me. That was the

495
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: hardest part of the whole process. Um taking care of

496
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: her with the baby inside her and while going to

497
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: work and all that different stuff on the other side

498
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: of the country. That was hard. But waiting on her

499
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: hand and foot, and waiting on the baby, handing food

500
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: as much as she can't, and then taking care of

501
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 1: the other kids who do not understand what dad or

502
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: mom is going through, and they're excited they want to

503
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: be a part of things too, and I'm trying to

504
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: manage how they interact with their new brother, how they

505
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: interact with their mother because she needs rest et seteral,

506
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: and trying to keep them on schedule with homeschooling, and

507
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: trying to get a job myself or like re established

508
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: income so we can get out of here as fast

509
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: as possible, and like all of that stuff. That that

510
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: was a lot. That was a whole whole lot. I

511
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: think I've dealt with postpartum depression more this time than

512
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 1: maybe any time um, and it's something that I've experienced before.

513
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: So partners do deal with postpartum depression. Even if you

514
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: don't deal with it yourself, you're dealing with what your

515
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: partner is going through if they are dealing with it, well,

516
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: there's a good amount of research around maternal postpartum depression

517
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: and anxiety. Studies looking at paternal postpartum mood disorders are

518
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: much more limited in the journal Innovations and Clinical Neuroscience

519
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: estimated that postpartum depression affects at least to fathers. I

520
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: think this time was worse because there were so many

521
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: other things connected to it. So, like just a year earlier,

522
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:14,479
Speaker 1: I had withdrawn from mid school um and that was

523
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: a hurtful decision, and I don't think I took enough

524
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: time to process because med school was our income, so

525
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: I had to go get a job and I had

526
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,239
Speaker 1: to work over time at that job to you know,

527
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: make those ends meet. So you got that. Then I'm

528
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 1: back in my mom's house. Um, it put me through.

529
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: It put me through something that I think I'm only

530
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: just now coming out of. At least this time, they

531
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: weren't isolated in Arizona. They were back in Mississippi with

532
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: Eric's family, and as they found their way through the

533
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: low moments, Sheila and Eric had each other in their

534
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: entire village to lean on and that an Asia could

535
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: relate to. While she had decided not to co parent,

536
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: she wasn't alone in raising Isaiah. She had a whole

537
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: bunch of friends nearby, and that included Jasmine, who continued

538
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 1: to follow up with her for her wellness checks. I

539
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: was doing okay. I didn't have postpartum depression, and I

540
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: think deals mostly because like I was at already started

541
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: my medication, uh sometimes during the third trimester, and already

542
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 1: been talking to counselors and stuff. But like Jasmine asked

543
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,760
Speaker 1: still and making sure I was okay. That way, CRS

544
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 1: Duela was consistently checking into, dropping off hot soups and

545
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: tinctures to the house. She even brought over CRS encapsulated

546
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 1: placenta pills. Some studies show that safely digesting the placenta

547
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 1: can boost oxytocin levels, help stabilize moods, and even stimulate

548
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: milk production. If you think about the animals ether Place

549
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 1: Center right after their after birth, it's like all the

550
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 1: nutrients are in that placenta. It literally fed the baby

551
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: like everything that was in your body. And in the

552
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: hospital they take it. They don't throw it away because

553
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 1: it's magic. All that nutrients is in that placenta. It

554
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: just comes out of your body. Then they get rid

555
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: of it. Right, So as soon as you take that capsule,

556
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: that placenta capsules, you start lactating. The magical and spiritual

557
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: nature of the placenta. Cultures all over the world have

558
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 1: been known about this, including right here at home. For example,

559
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: the Goala Gichi people the coastal Carolina's trace their ancestry

560
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: back to western Central Africa, where the placenta is used

561
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: in a variety of ways. Now, typically the placenta's birth

562
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: right after the baby, but not always. For instance, in

563
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: Dola culture, if the placenta covers the baby's face at birth,

564
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: the elders use it to brew a t for the child.

565
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: To drink. They believe this reward off evil spirits. The

566
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: Gola Gichi aren't just going through the motions with these rituals. Fundamentally,

567
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: these rituals are about protecting the parent and infant as

568
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,879
Speaker 1: a hanging between the two worlds. And Asia's friends were

569
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: also protective of her, rallying around her, and they were

570
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: asking all the right questions. Like my friends, they were

571
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: still pretty sincere and pretty like concerned with like does

572
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 1: I Saiah need anything? Do you need anything? Um? Can

573
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: I run to the store for you? I know you

574
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: picky about your oranges, like because I don't order fruit

575
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: on the apps because I don't like the way to

576
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: store people pick it, and so like I have a

577
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 1: few friends that were like my fruit pickers and stuff,

578
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 1: and they were all being pretty helpful with that. Some

579
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: brought me meals and put it in my freezer, like

580
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: my de freezers in my garage, and so I opened

581
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,280
Speaker 1: the defreser, like because I leave the garage are unlicked,

582
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 1: but the door of my house is locked, and so

583
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: they would come in and drop it off and stuff,

584
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: and I feel like, did you leave the same here.

585
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: Crystal Star Flowers has also found deep solace and communal care,

586
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: something that she's learned from her work with the Atlanta

587
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: based breastfeeding organization Rose or reaching our Sisters Everywhere. I

588
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: was a black mom that also need the village because

589
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: no matter how smart you are, no matter what you know,

590
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: there's always something you don't know. And I had a

591
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: lot of feelings that I had to undo because I

592
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: had a brain tumor before I had a daughter. So

593
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 1: all of that undoing came through ROWS. I met a

594
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: bunch of people who were willing to listen to my

595
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 1: birth and story. While I was listening to everyone else's.

596
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: Somebody came and said, tell us about you, and that

597
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: that balance out my my giving. So as I was giving,

598
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 1: I was able to receive someone listening, which then helped

599
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: me even more, like, oh wow, this is what it

600
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: feels like. Oh you gotta go even hard to find

601
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 1: more women to talk to, find more women to tell

602
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: you what's going on. And there's a whole lot going

603
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: on beyond adjusting to a new body. There's new feelings,

604
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: new sounds, along with new fears and new joys. Parents

605
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: need the time and space to process at all, and

606
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: the Southern tradition provides just that, and yet so many

607
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: American families, rural and urban allie aren't afforded that chance.

608
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: Studies show that one in four new moms goes back

609
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: to work just ten days after childbirth, a big difference

610
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: from this six week recommendation by the American College of

611
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Despite the ample evidence pointing to the

612
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: overwhelming benefits of a national program, as of March, just

613
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: twenty three percent of American civilian workers have access to

614
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: paid family leave. The US remains the only high income

615
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: country in the world that does not mandate paid leave

616
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: for birthing non gestational or adoptive parents, and the consequences

617
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 1: have been disproportionately felt by the fifty seven percent of

618
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: black workers who lack access to any paid parental leave

619
00:38:46,320 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: and tend to live on the economic margins. The pandemic

620
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: has brutally upended life as we once knew it. There

621
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: isn't a going back, but only a going forward. The

622
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: social distancing, quarantining working from home, all of it has

623
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: revealed new possibilities for work life balance, including paid family leave.

624
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: On Capitol Hill, this fight has only intensified with champions

625
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 1: in Congress like Primela, Jaya Paul, and Corey Bush, along

626
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,959
Speaker 1: with US Senator Cursing Jella Brand of New York, all

627
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 1: of whom were parents themselves, still pushing for this critical

628
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 1: piece of legislation. So unlike any other time in recent memory,

629
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,840
Speaker 1: the pandemic has provided a glimpse into what a slower

630
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: pace might look like for people to fuss over themselves

631
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: and their loved ones. For in Asia, this time has

632
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 1: been the gift she's needed to adjust to it all

633
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 1: and fully embrace this beautiful new chapter of her life

634
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 1: and who she's becoming. I was using the bathroom while

635
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: I was holding him, and uh, and I was like,

636
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 1: in that moment, I was like, is this gonna be

637
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,919
Speaker 1: our life? Man Like, from this point on, I guess

638
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna get to the bathroom with total privacy.

639
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,240
Speaker 1: And he just kept looking at me. He just started

640
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 1: blinking his eyes at me, and I just like, I

641
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: think he understood me. And in that moment, I was

642
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, we're here, We're connected. Because like I

643
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: was trying to set him down on this thing, and

644
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: every time I sat him down he started crying. I

645
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: was like, I just really have to pee, and so

646
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: like I picked him up, and he was usually a

647
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 1: chill baby, like never cried, but whatever was going on

648
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 1: this day, he was just not having a good day.

649
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: And so like I picked him up and I was

650
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: holding him. Why I was just in the bathroom and

651
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: he was just staring in my eyes and I was

652
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god. So then I laid him down,

653
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 1: like I had this thing right on the floor waiting

654
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: and I was able to lay him down and like

655
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:44,919
Speaker 1: then I wash my hands and everything and I picked

656
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: them back up and he just felt right asleep. And

657
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: I was just like he totally heard me and understood,

658
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: like he knows it's gonna be us, and I was like,

659
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 1: some days it's gonna be stretchful, man, but it's just

660
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,919
Speaker 1: two of us. We got this, And like he calmed

661
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: right down, and I was like, this is my man. Okay. Cool.

662
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: Next on Natal, we head home for a final goodbye.

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00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: We hear from in Asia, Ciara, Sheila, Eric, and Moore

664
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 1: about the legacies they're building for their little ones exactly

665
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:19,879
Speaker 1: where they are a huge thank you to the Natal

666
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 1: team for sharing this episode with us. To check out

667
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: more of their incredible series, visit Natal stories dot com

668
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: and be sure to share this episode with two other

669
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: sisters in your circle. If you're looking for a therapist

670
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 1: in your area, be sure to check out our therapist

671
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 1: directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory.

672
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: And if you want to continue digging into this topic

673
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: or just be in community with other sisters, come on

674
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our

675
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,720
Speaker 1: cozy corner of the Internet design just for black women.

676
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: You can join us at community dot Therapy for Black

677
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: Girls dot com. Thank you all so much for joining

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00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: me again this week. I look forward to continue in

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00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real soon. Take it care