Speaker 1: Hello, what's man? How you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm doing good. How are you doing? What's your name?
Speaker 1: I'm all right, I'm I'm Casey. I. Uh. I had
Speaker 1: a dream the other night and it was it kind
Speaker 1: of shook me, you know, mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Do you want do you want to talk about it?
Speaker 2: What was the dream?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So I had this dream that like I was
Speaker 1: just like hanging out right and I sat down wrong
Speaker 1: and my balls like went up my butthole and like
Speaker 1: that doesn't sound so bad, but I was like freaking out.
Speaker 1: So I called the doctor and he uh. Like, I
Speaker 1: went to the doctor and he's like, this is stupid.
Speaker 1: Just fart him out right, So so I tried to
Speaker 1: fart him out and uh and I woke up and
Speaker 1: like I was like, legit, freaking out because like I
Speaker 1: thought my balls would share a up my butthole, but
Speaker 1: they weren't. That happened a couple of days ago. But uh,
Speaker 1: but now every time I wake up, I got to check,
Speaker 1: you know, my underneath the bits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like when you have a dream that you're
Speaker 2: falling and you wake up in the middle of your Yeah,
Speaker 2: your body react. Your body doesn't know the difference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: your body really did believe that your balls went up
Speaker 2: into your into your butthole, and you've been checking every night.
Speaker 2: When did you have the dream? You had it three
Speaker 2: nights ago?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like three nights ago. Like it Like I'm not
Speaker 1: like like having legit existential crises, but like it's just
Speaker 1: like a little check, you know, right when I wake up?
Speaker 2: Mmm? Have you ever what like if you were to
Speaker 2: gape your asshole and then push your balls up into it?
Speaker 2: How far deep do you think you could uh get?
Speaker 1: So? Mm? Because I'm a bigger boy, right, Like I'd
Speaker 1: have to like I have to like spread eagle in
Speaker 1: a warm room to get to max stretch and then
Speaker 1: like really try to uh try to get down there.
Speaker 1: I don't, like, I don't think it would work. Like
Speaker 1: this isn't like a logical fear, right, it is like
Speaker 1: like an irrational one, right, it does like theoretically it
Speaker 1: might be fun, but I don't think I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: it out.
Speaker 2: You think it might be fun? Have you ever had
Speaker 2: anything in your ass?
Speaker 1: I mean every once in a while, yeah, you know
Speaker 1: sometimes you sometimes you get to tickle to go around
Speaker 1: the back door. But like you think the shinter would
Speaker 1: like you know, on unpleasant squeeziness, on the on the
Speaker 1: delicate bits.
Speaker 2: What's your life like outside of this.
Speaker 1: Pretty unhappy? Like I'm I'm you know, suffering under capitalism,
Speaker 1: as we all do, but like, yeah, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of going through it.
Speaker 2: Do you think any of your general life unhappiness was
Speaker 2: manifested in this dream about your balls going into your asshole?
Speaker 1: Maybe? I don't know, Like I'm I'm in a like
Speaker 1: my my my wife and I are separating and it
Speaker 1: had nothing to do with the you know, the dream,
Speaker 1: but like I don't, like, I don't see a connection.
Speaker 1: But that's you know, subconscious that that's right. It's kind
Speaker 1: of the point of a subconscious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's tricky. It's like we don't understand it,
Speaker 2: but I do. I do think dreams tell us something
Speaker 2: about something, you know, they do tell us about like
Speaker 2: our subconscious fears. And I'm wondering if anything in your
Speaker 2: conscious life is like metaphor you know, like you could
Speaker 2: uh make an allegory of some kind that like your
Speaker 2: balls represents uh an interruption perhaps and your assholes represents
Speaker 2: your life.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't like I'm about to do something that
Speaker 1: that's going to cause you know a lot of this
Speaker 1: sorry distress, and it's trying to be like, hey man,
Speaker 1: don't put your balls up your butthole? Yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh wait, I like that. I like that. Wait, okay,
Speaker 2: hold on, this is this is this is actually an
Speaker 2: important distinction of what you just said. In this dream,
Speaker 2: do you does your do your balls accidentally go into
Speaker 2: your asshole? Or do you push them in there?
Speaker 1: No? I sat down long and it was an unintentional
Speaker 1: un like, this was not an intentional thing. This was
Speaker 1: like a oh fuck, I wait, why did that just happen?
Speaker 2: M So you weren't being careful doing something that you
Speaker 2: do all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then drastic on unpleasant consequences happened.
Speaker 2: Is that Could that be analogous to anything that you
Speaker 2: going like going on in your life?
Speaker 1: Maybe like I've I've been toasting for a couple of years,
Speaker 1: Like I'm doing good in my job and I'm doing
Speaker 1: good in like other areas, but I haven't really been
Speaker 1: pushing growth. So maybe that's.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's it interesting. What does growth look like
Speaker 2: to you?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I'm not one of those people
Speaker 1: that think you should always be trying to find something better,
Speaker 1: but like maybe I'm stuck in a rut like nine
Speaker 1: to five grind, you know, and uh and and I
Speaker 1: think that I can I can start re evaluating some
Speaker 1: things and and maybe look at like, Okay, well, what
Speaker 1: have I been gotten? What have I been getting complacent with?
Speaker 1: What am I What am I ignoring and saying I'll
Speaker 1: do it later, I'll do it later. That I'm you know,
Speaker 1: put my balls up my butt hole with that one?
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Do
Speaker 2: you have an example of something like that that you
Speaker 2: feel like you're putting your balls up your butt hole with?
Speaker 1: Like I don't really talk to my family all that much,
Speaker 1: like not that the you know, get anything bad or
Speaker 1: like we've got bad blood. Like I just don't reach out,
Speaker 1: Like I don't reach out with friends. I don't reach
Speaker 1: out with you know, anything. I just kind of coast
Speaker 1: and take what happens to me.
Speaker 2: Who do you want to reach out to?
Speaker 1: I don't even know, Like most of the people I
Speaker 1: know suck. Like maybe that's part of the problem.
Speaker 2: You're getting separated, right, Yeah, how long have you How
Speaker 2: long were you guys together?
Speaker 1: Like twenty years?
Speaker 2: Broy, Holy fucking shit, really, really, really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and it was it was like I was,
Speaker 1: I was putting up a lot of I was putting
Speaker 1: up with a lot of bullshit that I really shouldn't have,
Speaker 1: Like I got twenty years, Yeah, I was. I was
Speaker 1: the I got no self esteem because I kind of
Speaker 1: suck as a person guy in high school, Like, I
Speaker 1: was going through a lot of a lot of problems,
Speaker 1: and I I that parlayed into hey, someone generally nice
Speaker 1: and attractive is showing the attention and telling me that they,
Speaker 1: you know, enjoying my presence. So I'll put up with
Speaker 1: pretty much anything. And and now I'm I'm kind of
Speaker 1: sick of that.
Speaker 2: M Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, okay, I have a
Speaker 2: lot of questions for you. This is interesting. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: want to talk about this. So, yeah, what you're describing
Speaker 2: makes total fucking sense. When did you just when? Like, okay,
Speaker 2: how old were you when you guys got together? It
Speaker 2: was like high school college, seventeen.
Speaker 1: I was seventeen. This was long distance relationship, like over AOL.
Speaker 1: Because I'm i am back an old man and now
Speaker 1: I'm like thirty seven, and I'm like, wow, this uh
Speaker 1: just sucks.
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 1: Putting up with? This? Just like general, like I'll, i'll,
Speaker 1: I will put forth emotional energy and I will put
Speaker 1: forth like effort to make sure things go well, and
Speaker 1: it is just not reciprocated.
Speaker 2: How long when did you first notice that?
Speaker 1: About the third week of the relationship?
Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, seriously, when you were seventeen?
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, like, just because there's a bunch of really
Speaker 1: bad shit in it doesn't mean I deserve better, is
Speaker 1: what I was thinking.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I saw it a whole lot. I have
Speaker 2: a lot of questions for you, but I'm gonna interject.
Speaker 2: I saw a TikTok that said something like the only
Speaker 2: straight relationships that work are one where a man is
Speaker 2: obsessed with a woman that's a little mean to him.
Speaker 1: And I mean, go.
Speaker 3: Ahead, yeah, Like, okay, here here's.
Speaker 1: The thing, Like I am. I am one of the straits.
Speaker 1: I apologize to to any queers in the community, one
Speaker 1: of y'all. Uh but uh like, I think that what
Speaker 1: people think about when they think of like a dysfunctional
Speaker 1: straight relationship is often uh like like exaggerated to an extent.
Speaker 1: Like I think that a lot of the people that
Speaker 1: are talking about how their their husband is like kind
Speaker 1: of one of their extra kids, like they like, okay,
Speaker 1: has he been checked for like neurodivergence? Like could that
Speaker 1: be in? It? True? If they're complaining about how their
Speaker 1: their wife is you know, Naggie awful, you know typical,
Speaker 1: Oh my ball and chain, Like okay, well is she
Speaker 1: going through something right now? Like you know, like if
Speaker 1: it was it was a non straight relationship, we would
Speaker 1: be digging into why. But because of the straight relationship,
Speaker 1: the straights aren't.
Speaker 2: Okay ooh you know, okay, I I see what, I
Speaker 2: see what you mean because I see what you mean.
Speaker 2: Because yeah, in a straight relationship, there's a there's more
Speaker 2: like labels of like well you know that's happening because
Speaker 2: men are like this or women are like this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that that definitely feeds into toxics like gender stereotypes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because like we've done, we have gone to relationship therapy
Speaker 1: a couple of times, and like one of my therapists,
Speaker 1: the therapists was like, oh, well, clearly you're acting like
Speaker 1: this because you're a dude. I'm like the fuck, Like,
Speaker 1: what what are you talking about? She expect from her,
Speaker 1: but she would expect me to just be like, oh
Speaker 1: the guy tm mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Well I think Here's the thing, is I I I
Speaker 2: I think I think I probably think I think about
Speaker 2: gender roles in the same way that I think about, like, uh,
Speaker 2: a lot of things in life, which is like, you know,
Speaker 2: I kind of explore like there's the yin and yang
Speaker 2: of it, which is like I think it's like you
Speaker 2: have your you have your head in the sand. If
Speaker 2: you're gonna say that there is no generally observed differences
Speaker 2: between men and women, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 2: that you gotta that's pretty obvious.
Speaker 1: I attribute that to societal influence and prescribed like like
Speaker 1: what we internalize as what we should as X, y
Speaker 1: Z do or.
Speaker 2: Be totally and I And that's the that's to me,
Speaker 2: that's like the Okay, so we have I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: on a tangent real quick. I want I'm gonna go, Okay,
Speaker 2: we're gonna go on this philosophy tangent and then remind
Speaker 2: me that we need to get back to your life
Speaker 2: because I have lots of questions for you. But I
Speaker 2: believe that human beings are this weird thing that we possess, uh,
Speaker 2: like animalistic biology. And I think that there's a lot
Speaker 2: of traditional gender roles that are present in that animalistic biology.
Speaker 2: But then we also have this like bright human part
Speaker 2: of us that's like conscious and kind of evolves beyond that,
Speaker 2: and our brains are are the the wrestling of those
Speaker 2: two forces. And so I do I think that a
Speaker 2: lot of gender roles are like just like innately within
Speaker 2: us and within our biology, but like I don't know,
Speaker 2: so is like you know, murder and like other things
Speaker 2: and we and and the to to say that society
Speaker 2: is that a lot of gender roles are like conditioning
Speaker 2: of society. I think is us using our human our
Speaker 2: higher human brain to look at it and be like, hey,
Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't have to be like this. We're humans.
Speaker 2: We can create and build an the world as we want.
Speaker 1: I hard disagree. I think it is actually the opposite.
Speaker 1: I think that I think that biology and nature and
Speaker 1: all of that stuff like, bro, it's just chaos. Like
Speaker 1: cells don't know what the fuck is going on. Chromosomes
Speaker 1: have no idea what society is, you know, they have
Speaker 1: no fucking clue. But our monkey brains go all pattern recognition, right,
Speaker 1: and they try to find patterns that ain't there, and
Speaker 1: then they ascribe that to whatever it seems like we're finding,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So like people are people
Speaker 1: like me? You everybody have both x y and xx chromosomes,
Speaker 1: but it's like literally it's a spect So like my
Speaker 1: chromosomes are mostly x Y, so I'm male presenting, but
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of estrogen in me, you know, like
Speaker 1: it's still there. Yeah, So like genders aren't real, you know,
Speaker 1: like it's it's just a pattern that we're seeing that
Speaker 1: really ain't there.
Speaker 2: Hm hmmm.
Speaker 1: And like people are people, So like if I happen
Speaker 1: to be born at chick, like, I'd probably have a
Speaker 1: lot more habits that aligned to traditional femininity, but I wasn't.
Speaker 1: So I don't.
Speaker 2: But isn't it? But I guess, uh, aren't you if
Speaker 2: you're like born a man or you're born a woman,
Speaker 2: aren't don't you like innately? And then I mean obviously
Speaker 2: like uh everyone's uh, I don't really know. I think
Speaker 2: a lot about what it is that makes people the
Speaker 2: way that they are, And it's of course some combination
Speaker 2: of like who their parents are and like what's like
Speaker 2: in their like literal DNA and then silent conditioning, but
Speaker 2: like within your little DNA, if you're born a man,
Speaker 2: or you're born a woman, is like I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't.
Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, like have a lot of Yeah, like chemical
Speaker 1: processes have a lot of influence on like what you're
Speaker 1: going to tend more towards, right exactly. Like propaganda isn't
Speaker 1: just a thing that's intentional, you know, Like propaganda is
Speaker 1: a thing that like happens to everybody all the time.
Speaker 1: Every time anybody says anything, you are going to be
Speaker 1: influenced by that, whether you intentionally reject it and say no,
Speaker 1: fuck that guy, he's a Nazi, or if you're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that dude. You know that dude really knows where his
Speaker 1: towels at, and you accept that, like it's it's constantly happening,
Speaker 1: and especially when we're children, you know, like you you
Speaker 1: are told this is the way things are. You have
Speaker 1: no reason to like refute it because like you're your
Speaker 1: eight you know, you want to go play legos and shit.
Speaker 1: So if we raised a new group of children with
Speaker 1: like bonkers' gender roles, they're just gonna do it. And
Speaker 1: then they're gonna argue that it's biology. M you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, You've got a bunch of testosterone testosterone
Speaker 1: amps up what do you call it? Adrenaline? It makes
Speaker 1: you act slightly more aggressive. So things are gonna stay
Speaker 1: true generally. But then what we ascribed to that, to
Speaker 1: that is like hard propagandized.
Speaker 2: I I think, hold on, I want to make sure this.
Speaker 2: I'm we're gonna end this philosophy talk in one second.
Speaker 2: I want to get it back through your life. But
Speaker 2: I think it would make it would make sense to
Speaker 2: me that Yeah, yeah, gender roles and things like that
Speaker 2: are like as are our you know, as are like
Speaker 2: everything about the way that we do and things and
Speaker 2: think about things and see things are some combination of
Speaker 2: propaganda or societal conditioning and our DNA, so you know,
Speaker 2: like all like yeah, like all things. I'm like, like
Speaker 2: I am about a lot of things. I'm going to
Speaker 2: be annoyingly agnostic about this one. But okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Tradition.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so when you were seventeen three, see you were like,
Speaker 2: I don't like the way this woman is treating me.
Speaker 2: I don't like how I know it.
Speaker 1: It was more like, oh okay, that's the thing that's happening.
Speaker 2: Uh uh yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, okay. So yeah, so
Speaker 2: you have low self esteem. You're like, you know, a
Speaker 2: lady like you're at you're seventeen years old, You're like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, a lady that I am attracted to
Speaker 2: likes me. This is incredible, This is amazing. I I
Speaker 2: I will do everything in my fucking power and I
Speaker 2: will put up with anything to keep this going. And
Speaker 2: so if she does something that like crosses a boundary
Speaker 2: or you're like, I don't know about that, you're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's all, yeah, will Yeah, yeah that's all.
Speaker 1: I'll talk about it. Yeah oh well nope, never again
Speaker 1: by yep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, I know. I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: I get I get you, I get you, I get you.
Speaker 2: I've I've never heard of a situation where that lasted
Speaker 2: for twenty whole years though, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Like, I really hate this word, but like I think
Speaker 1: I was pre groomed into accepting like pretty much anything,
Speaker 1: because like my parents, like my parents really only talked
Speaker 1: to me when they had to. Yeah, So it was like,
Speaker 1: hey man, like you're getting bullied at school, like, oh well,
Speaker 1: do you like talk to the teacher about it? Not
Speaker 1: like hey man, let's get you. Let's figure out why
Speaker 1: that's happening. And get you, you know, some counseling or
Speaker 1: therapy and work on those issues, not like oh, hey man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you, and and like, oh, it's obvious
Speaker 1: you've got like eight thousand personality problems that you know.
Speaker 1: Even we are like, hey man, what what the fuck
Speaker 1: you got going on here? Yeah, nope, we're just gonna
Speaker 1: we're gonna hang out. Is nobody dead or pregnant? Everything's fine? Yep.
Speaker 1: So like I had no basis on yeah, like what
Speaker 1: I could expect out of other people.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're already you're already uh yeah, to use your word,
Speaker 2: you're already, like we can call it predisposed to this
Speaker 2: notion or actually I guess you're. Yeah, you're predisposed to
Speaker 2: a notion of what your relationships.
Speaker 1: That's better, that's a better way.
Speaker 2: You're predisposed to a notion of what relationships are like
Speaker 2: because of your parents and because of like you know,
Speaker 2: societal whatever. And so now when someone comes along and
Speaker 2: shows you the fucking gives you a crumb, you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm taking this crume. I'm taking this crumb to the bank.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna hold on to this crumb for twenty a year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, and like yeah, and so like that, there's
Speaker 1: there's definitely you know, good times and times that it's
Speaker 1: like oh wow, yeah, they're they're like really helping me.
Speaker 1: They're like really, you know, okay, good, we're making progress.
Speaker 1: This is good, this is getting better, this is getting better,
Speaker 1: and then it every goddamn time just goes immediately back
Speaker 1: to still fuck yourself.
Speaker 2: M hmm. You know, I've been thinking a lot about
Speaker 2: whether or not people can like change. I think they can.
Speaker 2: I don't know if everyone can, but I think they
Speaker 2: believe they can. It's weird, it's another it's another one
Speaker 2: of my like things I'm agnostic about. I haven't lived
Speaker 2: enough life to decide this, or maybe I have, and
Speaker 2: maybe this is more of a perspective thing, But it's like,
Speaker 2: to what to what degree do do you sit with
Speaker 2: someone and work on a thing versus X versus? Yeah,
Speaker 2: you got You're never gonna fucking it's always gonna be
Speaker 2: like I.
Speaker 1: See it the same way people see addiction, where it's
Speaker 1: like if if the other person does not have an
Speaker 1: internal motivation to make this change, changing for external motivation
Speaker 1: can only happen for so long before you're like, dude,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I don't even want to do this. I'm
Speaker 1: just not gonna yeah.
Speaker 2: I know you mean yeah now that what? What was it?
Speaker 2: After years?
Speaker 1: It was just eventually feeling better and better and being like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, no, I can I can hold my shit together.
Speaker 1: I can you know, do better and I can you know,
Speaker 1: I I am proving to myself that I can be
Speaker 1: a technically functioning adult, Like I should probably get some
Speaker 1: recognition for that, and I should probably get some effort
Speaker 1: coming back my way. And it didn't happen. And then
Speaker 1: that just for like six years, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: well you know what, Yeah, this ain't happening, like I'll
Speaker 1: I'll still no now we're now we're we're still living
Speaker 1: together for now. But like like I hate it, but
Speaker 1: like I'm still willing to try, like I do not
Speaker 1: have expectations, but like you know, oh.
Speaker 2: You're still You're stillilling to try. You're you're still willing
Speaker 2: to try to work it out with this girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's probably almost definitely not gonna happen. But
Speaker 1: like what why It is a complicated thing of like
Speaker 1: I it makes me feel bad, the idea of like
Speaker 1: I'm done because I don't want people done with me,
Speaker 1: so I will not do it to someone else, and
Speaker 1: that's probably a bad thing for me.
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't want people being like I'm done.
Speaker 1: Just being like, well, you suck. I'm done. I'm like,
Speaker 1: beat it, you suck.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm about to throw a insane therapy
Speaker 2: reframing on this. You want to explore something, Yeah, let's
Speaker 2: do it. Okay. What if? Okay, you don't want people
Speaker 2: saying to you, I'm giving up on you, right, and
Speaker 2: so that's why you don't want to give up on
Speaker 2: someone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what.
Speaker 2: If you are your best friend in the planet, maybe
Speaker 2: even you're only true friend in the world, not you specifically,
Speaker 2: but just every reason. And what if by continuing over
Speaker 2: and over again to let yourself get back into this,
Speaker 2: you are giving up on yourself, which you would never
Speaker 2: want someone to do to you. But you're doing it
Speaker 2: to yourself and you're your best friend.
Speaker 1: I have not yet internalized that message, Like I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm coming up around to.
Speaker 2: It, but you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, Like you gotta value yourself and I really don't,
Speaker 1: like I think I'm cool and all that, but like,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, I wouldn't be friends with me. I'm
Speaker 1: kind of annoying. Yeah, like I'm cool, but like sometimes
Speaker 1: i'm a lot so yeah, like I'm I'm I'm I'm
Speaker 1: getting there.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so oh it's five o'clock. I gotta complain in
Speaker 1: the D and D.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool? Well is there anything else you want to say?
Speaker 2: That people the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: All your teeth have different birthdays? All right? By later?
Speaker 2: Man, that was interesting. I have I have more thoughts
Speaker 2: on that, or do I? Or maybe I shared them all.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about that last night. I was thinking
Speaker 2: about the idea of like myself as my own best
Speaker 2: friend or like you're the only real I'm trying to
Speaker 2: think more about that shit about how I am my
Speaker 2: own best friend and and if I talked and I
Speaker 2: and I think about the way I talk to myself
Speaker 2: or view myself, and yeah, sometimes you uh you can
Speaker 2: really like talk to yourself or think of yourself as
Speaker 2: uh worse off in such a way that like if
Speaker 2: a part if your best friend said that to you
Speaker 2: or thought that of you, you wouldn't want to be friends
Speaker 2: with that person. They'd be a fucking asshole.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It's hard. It's hard to have. It's hard to have
Speaker 2: self esteem, and they really it does have to come
Speaker 2: from again, you know, as I agnostically, you know hold
Speaker 2: it comes from a little bit of within and a
Speaker 2: little bit of something outside of yourself. I don't know
Speaker 2: if one can truly, I mean, someone can. I know,
Speaker 2: I only I only have my own life experience. I
Speaker 2: don't think I can fully feel self esteem with that
Speaker 2: a little, you know, external validation. I don't think I
Speaker 2: could do the whole thing on internal validation. But I
Speaker 2: can't do the whole thing on external validation either, So
Speaker 2: you need a little bit of both. I hope that
Speaker 2: guys all right, man, he's better to go back into
Speaker 2: that relationship. I hope that guy will be all right. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's stick another call. Hello, Hi, what's your name?
Speaker 4: I'm Savannah. How are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm doing good, mainly because I drank a coffee before this,
Speaker 2: so I feel. Yeah, it's a cycle, but whatever, you know.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like I can't exist, and the other
Speaker 2: times I'm like, wait, I actually I think I can.
Speaker 2: And there's a lot of physical factors involved with that. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I don't want to keep talking about myself.
Speaker 2: What's up with you, Savannah? What's going on in your life?
Speaker 4: Hey, so I am currently changing jobs. I got a
Speaker 4: great opportunity at a very well paying job, and I'm
Speaker 4: really nervous about it.
Speaker 2: What is the opportunity.
Speaker 4: It'll be the it's like an emergency animal hospital. I've
Speaker 4: only ever worked in like general practice animal hospitals, so
Speaker 4: like vaccines, ear infections, stuff like that. But yeah, I
Speaker 4: got the opportunity to be a vet tech at an
Speaker 4: emergency hospital. And I don't think I'm smart enough, but
Speaker 4: I got the job.
Speaker 1: Sweet.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's another self esteem thing. Why don't you think
Speaker 2: you're smart enough?
Speaker 4: Well, I didn't go to college, of course. I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 4: By the way, I lost my last job because kind
Speaker 4: of in the realm that I wasn't picking up on
Speaker 4: things as easy as other people. But I have a
Speaker 4: lot of confidence. I'm very excited to start this. I
Speaker 4: like more emergency cases. Anyways, sounds kind of bad, but
Speaker 4: I like I like not like sick animals, but like
Speaker 4: I enjoy helping and seeing it.
Speaker 1: Kind of.
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Wait, so
Speaker 2: why do you have to be smart? Can't you just
Speaker 2: want to help animals.
Speaker 4: So that's actually the thing in that medicine. I have
Speaker 4: had two jobs that have told me that asked me
Speaker 4: if they're like, are you just in it for the animals?
Speaker 4: And that medicine isn't very well paying. So my response
Speaker 4: every time is like, yeah, absolutely, I'm here for the animals.
Speaker 4: And apparently that's the wrong answer.
Speaker 2: What is the right answer.
Speaker 4: For my From what I I can understand, the correct
Speaker 4: answer would be personal growth to make the company more money.
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't like that. I'm gonna get paid fifteen
Speaker 4: dollars an hour?
Speaker 2: So what's the Like? Is the veterinary health industry similar
Speaker 2: to the human American health industry?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's pretty similar. We of course have like
Speaker 4: a human medical world. I feel like you don't have
Speaker 4: to pay for things like right away, I don't know
Speaker 4: about you, my medical debt can just sit there, don't
Speaker 4: really care. But in veterinary medicine, of course we have
Speaker 4: to take the payment during this service. So yeah, it's
Speaker 4: it's pretty similar. It's like, I'm a the equivalent of
Speaker 4: being a pediatrician, because these people care a lot about
Speaker 4: their animals and they're.
Speaker 2: Very mean to us, they're a mean to you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean people are mean at any job. Really,
Speaker 4: can I kind of change the subject really fast?
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.
Speaker 4: I wanted to tell you a story. I've also been
Speaker 4: trying to call for about two months. I have been
Speaker 4: really excited and now I'm kind of nervous.
Speaker 2: We have not no cool cool, no, go ahead and
Speaker 2: go ahead.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So this is kind of just a silly story.
Speaker 4: So I grew up with a very liberal, very liberal family.
Speaker 4: I'd say they're very very left leaning. And when I
Speaker 4: was younger, of course my parents like smoked weed, and
Speaker 4: of course he didn't want me to know that they
Speaker 4: used to smoke cigarettes and everything like that, so I
Speaker 4: was kind of like, I just kind of assumed it
Speaker 4: was a cigarette. But my dad told me this great
Speaker 4: lie that I used now on my stepdaughter, and I
Speaker 4: think lying the children is okay for this reason. So
Speaker 4: whenever my dad got off work, he told me that
Speaker 4: he had to do paperwork, and again he worked on
Speaker 4: the farm. So whenever I was younger and he'd come
Speaker 4: in like weed, I have so ated it with working
Speaker 4: really hard. And whenever I was in high school, I
Speaker 4: remember smelling it like on somebody and I was like,
Speaker 4: did you just get back from the gym? Like, you know, sorry,
Speaker 4: I'm a little nervous right now. No, but yeah, So
Speaker 4: I associated the smell of weed with like sweat, and
Speaker 4: that was kind of like a little silly thing you
Speaker 4: can tell children that I genuinely believed until I was.
Speaker 2: Like eighteen, Oh, that when your dad smoked weed, he
Speaker 2: was just sweaty.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and he looked tired.
Speaker 2: You know, do you smoke weed?
Speaker 4: I do. Yeah, It's it's very I do it like
Speaker 4: before I go to bed. I'm not like a very
Speaker 4: social smoker by any means.
Speaker 2: So sorry, I'm only I'm only transitioning back because I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about the questions that I.
Speaker 1: Have for you.
Speaker 2: So you've got this job. You've got this job at
Speaker 2: this place. The way there's the job. You got the
Speaker 2: job at the place that wants you to say that
Speaker 2: you're in it for the money.
Speaker 4: I'm not sure. I haven't gotten to that point yet.
Speaker 4: I start Monday at it, And I mean every animal
Speaker 4: hospital kind of leans towards life. Who you want people
Speaker 4: that are passionate about animals, but then you kind of
Speaker 4: get into it and they're more worried about making money.
Speaker 4: Then which I can understand because it's a business setting.
Speaker 4: Like for example, one time, there was this dog that
Speaker 4: came in and I just I love the dog, I
Speaker 4: love the owner. And I sat there for about ten
Speaker 4: minutes in the room with them, and I'm just on
Speaker 4: the ground putting the dog, asking her questions, you know,
Speaker 4: like are they eating and drinking normally? No vomiting, diarrhea.
Speaker 4: And I got in trouble for that. I got called
Speaker 4: up to the office and said that I need to
Speaker 4: focus more on the client than the animal. And in
Speaker 4: my eyes, I wasn't doing anything wrong. But I guess
Speaker 4: in like management world, they're kind of just like, don't
Speaker 4: focus on the animals.
Speaker 2: Focus on the on the on the customer, Yeah.
Speaker 4: And try to get them to do as many vaccines,
Speaker 4: as many tests as we can do.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, they're turning you into like a fucking car
Speaker 2: mechanic of dogs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like a salesman and like I and like,
Speaker 4: of course I'm pro Like you know, if you come
Speaker 4: in with your pet, you know, and you're like they're
Speaker 4: they're vomiting and diarrhea, and you're like, okay, well we
Speaker 4: should run some tests. You know, if you say no,
Speaker 4: it's kind of like, well, then we're just treating sympematically.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: So I understand the need for some of that, but
Speaker 4: like sometimes, like we just got my old job. We
Speaker 4: just got Brebecco, which is a flea and tick injection
Speaker 4: that lasts for twelve months. It is seven hundred dollars,
Speaker 4: and I everyone there is being forced to try and
Speaker 4: push that compared to a flea pill that's thirty dollars
Speaker 4: a month. It's always made me really uncomfortable because I'm
Speaker 4: here for themimals, I'm not.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 4: If I wanted to work with humans, I would go
Speaker 4: work with humans. But I don't really like humans. I
Speaker 4: like animals.
Speaker 2: I don't. Uh. I don't think you need to have
Speaker 2: a like an inferiority complex about the job. And you
Speaker 2: can let you're here for the fucking animals, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't see why you say you're not, uh,
Speaker 2: you're not you're not smart enough. I mean that's what
Speaker 2: in that? In that? What the in that? What the
Speaker 2: industry needs is people give a shit about animals.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it's like, you know how some people
Speaker 4: are like books smart and some people are like quote
Speaker 4: unquote like street smart. Yeah, I think they expect me
Speaker 4: to be more instead of empathetic and caring and kind
Speaker 4: of like I don't know, I'm a woman, like a
Speaker 4: motherly figure. They instead of how having that emotional intelligence,
Speaker 4: they want you to have more of a like business intelligence,
Speaker 4: if that makes any sense. And I just don't feel comfortable,
Speaker 4: like yeah, I don't feel control selling things to people
Speaker 4: that they don't want. I do agree with, like the
Speaker 4: rabies vaccine, but like you know, if you're if your
Speaker 4: dog doesn't bored, why they need a flu vaccine. I
Speaker 4: haven't gone a flu vaccine need ten years. I probably should.
Speaker 4: But yeah, and at my so at my new job
Speaker 4: that I start, it costs a lot of money, you know,
Speaker 4: Like this is like it looks like an emergency room
Speaker 4: has like the little doors in the little driveway that
Speaker 4: you pull in if there's like a true emergency and
Speaker 4: they rush out and get the animal. And with that
Speaker 4: comes a lot of money. So I'm gonna have to
Speaker 4: be the person that looks an owner in the face
Speaker 4: and goes okay while you're total with fifteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: And I hate being that person. I because I don't
Speaker 4: know if you have any animals. Do you have any animals?
Speaker 2: No, I don't.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, yeah, I don't know. I've been in that situation.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: One good Like one thing is so one time these
Speaker 4: like two sixteen year olds found a dog on the
Speaker 4: side of the road, right, and so they do the
Speaker 4: right thing and they bring them to the nearest animal
Speaker 4: hospital and they say, hey, I've found this dog, and
Speaker 4: I've gone, oh my goodness, let's check for a microch
Speaker 4: And I'm sitting there, you know, giving the dog tree,
Speaker 4: you know, looking up the microchip, trying to see if
Speaker 4: we can find the owner. And pretty much if you
Speaker 4: can't find the owner, some places just recommend like them
Speaker 4: being euthanized and or turning them back loose on the streets.
Speaker 4: And I really hate that about that medicine. It doesn't
Speaker 4: and I don't want to scare an you want it
Speaker 4: that's listening or anything. But with my experience, they don't
Speaker 4: really care about the animals. They care more about money.
Speaker 3: Which.
Speaker 4: It's valid, but it's also not so I guess I'm
Speaker 4: kind of nervous to start a new job that costs
Speaker 4: way more money.
Speaker 2: You said the job costs way more money, Like, uh, oh,
Speaker 2: that you're providing a service that costs way more money
Speaker 2: than what you were previously doing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, Yeah, So, like the normal visit at my
Speaker 4: last job was around three hundred dollars, the average visit
Speaker 4: at my new job, I can assume as being a
Speaker 4: client there at one point being about a thousand of
Speaker 4: two thousand. And it's just hard.
Speaker 3: It's hard to.
Speaker 4: Have compassion for animals and also have to take care
Speaker 4: of the money.
Speaker 3: Side of it.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, mm hmm.
Speaker 4: It's just conflicting.
Speaker 2: I think that you're in a good position to compassionate
Speaker 2: to animals, which is what you want to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I guess if I were you, and I was
Speaker 2: in this job, and I was wondering if I was
Speaker 2: smart enough, I would just I guess, if what you're
Speaker 2: aligned on is is, you know, be compassionate to animals,
Speaker 2: I would just be like, Okay, well, how do I
Speaker 2: move in the direction of that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I really wish I could just work out of rescue
Speaker 4: or something, but I am a single woman that lives alone,
Speaker 4: so I sadly can't take anything less than like twenty
Speaker 4: dollars an hour, so that it feels like even my
Speaker 4: dream job isn't an option because of money I live.
Speaker 4: I mean, can I say what day I live in?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Sure, I live in South Carolina, So it's kind of
Speaker 4: it's not a very expensive place to live, but it
Speaker 4: it doesn't offer a lot of opportunity for growth unless
Speaker 4: you're like one good Southern boy.
Speaker 2: No, mm hmm yeah, yeah, yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think, sorry, I'm kind of switching around
Speaker 4: on topics, but I think I'm just in a very
Speaker 4: transitional point in my life, so I'm kind of questioning
Speaker 4: like my job and everything right now. Well, I got
Speaker 4: out of a very long relationship a few months ago,
Speaker 4: so I moved in by myself to my own little
Speaker 4: apartment and then starting a job that I feel like
Speaker 4: is way bigger than I am. She's given me a
Speaker 4: lot of anxiety.
Speaker 2: What's your name again?
Speaker 4: I'm Savannah, Savannah.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, if I sorry, go with me for a second, Savannah.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I If I don't have anything entirely
Speaker 2: productive to say in response to any of these things,
Speaker 2: it is okay.
Speaker 4: I'm just very excited to talk to you. It's been
Speaker 4: a it's been an interesting year, and I've been I've
Speaker 4: been trying to like talk to you for about two months.
Speaker 4: I'm excited that I'm like already here and I understand
Speaker 4: how it's kind of a niche situation, was a very
Speaker 4: niche job. But yeah, how I guess something maybe I
Speaker 4: could get advice on maybe is how how have you
Speaker 4: and the past dealt with a transitional period of your life.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look within myself. I'm gonna take a moment
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna look within myself to give you the
Speaker 2: most honest answer to that question that I feel comfortable sharing.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna take a moment to do that. What
Speaker 2: how do I normally deal with a transitional period in
Speaker 2: my life?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Mmm, I'm trying to think of last time I had
Speaker 2: strong transitional periods. M.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I usually deal with it by a lot of overthinking,
Speaker 2: a lot of comingup with plans of things I'm going
Speaker 2: to do. I'll come up with like twelve ideas of
Speaker 2: things I'm going to do in my head, and then
Speaker 2: I'll do one of them. That's how That's how I've been,
Speaker 2: That's how I've been able to ever do anything with
Speaker 2: my life. Is I'll come up with I'll say I'm
Speaker 2: going to do like ten things and I'll actually do
Speaker 2: one of them sometimes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and doing one of them is already such a
Speaker 4: big step.
Speaker 2: Weird.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just a weird place we put in. That's
Speaker 4: also my first time like living alone and doing all
Speaker 4: of those on my own, so I think that kind
Speaker 4: of adds to my anxiety on switching jobs and everything
Speaker 4: like that. This is the first time my life I've
Speaker 4: ever really had to deal with something like this. But
Speaker 4: I will say overall, I'm very happy I did get
Speaker 4: a really good job that'll makes me a lot of money.
Speaker 4: Leaving my partner was a hard decision, but it was
Speaker 4: a very smart one. And I'm just trying to figure
Speaker 4: out how to cope because I feel like sometimes I
Speaker 4: instead of coping, I just I either a overthink or
Speaker 4: I just throw all my problems underneath a rug and
Speaker 4: I try not think about it. And I think right
Speaker 4: now I'm overthinking.
Speaker 2: Savannah. Is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: No, thank you so much for having me. I hope
Speaker 4: to talk to you later whenever I'm not as nervous.
Speaker 4: But it's great talking to you. I hope you have
Speaker 4: a great day and Also, I plan on being you
Speaker 4: for Halloween.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be You're burying the lead, Savannah. Are you're
Speaker 2: gonna be me for Halloween?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I found you're like kind of your little costume.
Speaker 2: I think anyone, anyone can do it. It's sixty dollars
Speaker 2: on Amazon. Actually I think it's up. It's like one
Speaker 2: hundred or some shit.
Speaker 4: Now yeah, it's like I think I got it at
Speaker 4: eighty dollars. I'm waiting for it to drive and then
Speaker 4: I'm gonna corse paint my face green. I thought about
Speaker 4: walking around with a microphone. Huh, Like, is there anything
Speaker 4: you want to tell the people of the internet before
Speaker 4: you go?
Speaker 2: That's cool?
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 4: Fuck yeah hell yah, well, I hope you have a
Speaker 4: wonderful day.
Speaker 2: Thank you if you if you if you do do that,
Speaker 2: if you do do that, tag me in uh, if
Speaker 2: you make like Instagram pictures or some ship, tag.
Speaker 4: Me in that, yeah perfect, I will heck yeah, well,
Speaker 4: thank you. Thanks GK. You're amazing.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Savannah. Have the rest of the day, you too,
Speaker 2: Bye bye bye those Savannah. Yeah, I mean again, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was trying to I was really trying to reach
Speaker 2: into my uh brain, and and give an honest answer
Speaker 2: to that question, like how do I deal with change?
Speaker 1: Not?
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I don't know if we're
Speaker 2: I don't know if humans are wired to deal with change. Well,
Speaker 2: I mean some of us are. Some of us are
Speaker 2: really fucking good at it, but I think most of
Speaker 2: us are prone to overthinking. Hello, who what's up?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 3: Is this is this the podcast?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your name?
Speaker 3: Oh shit, I didn't think i'd actually dude, I'm Kevin.
Speaker 2: It's up, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin Kevin.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, dude, I've been listening. I'm not even
Speaker 3: kidding since I was in high school, dude, Like since
Speaker 3: I was sixteen before COVID.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: Wow, no shit, that's so cool man. I'm uh yeah,
Speaker 2: it's It's so cool that people are still here that
Speaker 2: have been here for a long time. I'm glad this
Speaker 2: is this is This is nice, man, This is this
Speaker 2: feels like a fucking nice little corner. I'm I'm man,
Speaker 2: still hanging out here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, I'm twenty two now. I'm like, dude, your
Speaker 3: your show has gotten me out of like some like
Speaker 3: rough patches.
Speaker 1: So cool.
Speaker 3: Wow, dude, this is so cool.
Speaker 2: Thanks man.
Speaker 1: How are you doing?
Speaker 3: How you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm happy to.
Speaker 2: How am I doing well? Uh? I don't know. I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about what you said just now and I'm trying
Speaker 2: to take it in and I appreciate it. I am
Speaker 2: a little flustered. I feel very I feel very present
Speaker 2: right now with like doing the show. Oh yeah, you
Speaker 2: know it's Uh, I've been thinking, you know, I've been
Speaker 2: thinking a lot about life, as I as I always
Speaker 2: tend to do. But I I'd like to be doing
Speaker 2: more experiencing life and less thinking about it. But it's
Speaker 2: so paradoxical. You know, you think too much and then
Speaker 2: you start to want to escape your own consciousness. Sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm doing okay, I'm doing good. How are you doing?
Speaker 2: How are you doing? Kevin? What's going on with you?
Speaker 1: Kevin?
Speaker 3: Ye know, I do like I've been kind of all
Speaker 3: over the place, Like this week. Yeah, I've been like
Speaker 3: really good. I've been like motivated, but also I'm like ruminating.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, I'm ruminating on the fact
Speaker 3: that like I feel kind of like isolated sometimes, but
Speaker 3: then like I'm hanging out with people and it's fun.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm all over the place. I actually
Speaker 3: I texted you at the beginning of your stream because
Speaker 3: I actually want to talk to you about This is
Speaker 3: gonna sound weird, but I think a lot of my
Speaker 3: problems are related to marching bands.
Speaker 2: Marching bands, yeah is this?
Speaker 1: Let me explain.
Speaker 3: So I'm a grad student and and my undergrad I
Speaker 3: joined a marching band and I was in that for
Speaker 3: four years, and like, oh, man, I feel like cringey
Speaker 3: saying this because like there's always such like a negative
Speaker 3: connotation for like doing this kind of stuff. But like, man,
Speaker 3: if I didn't do that in my undergrad I don't
Speaker 3: think I would have like connected with people as well
Speaker 3: as I did. Like I always listen and you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: you got to put yourself in these places to like
Speaker 3: hang out with people with similar interests. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: well I did that and it was simultaneously like one
Speaker 3: of the coolest experiences. And also like.
Speaker 1: He gave me, like trauma.
Speaker 2: How did I give you trauma?
Speaker 3: I guess I don't know, Like there there's some there's
Speaker 3: some like weird, not weird.
Speaker 1: I guess there was these like.
Speaker 3: I guess harassment or like constant like yelling, like it
Speaker 3: felt so much like a boot camp, and like I
Speaker 3: was constantly like getting screamed at on like a daily basis,
Speaker 3: and like there's a certain level of solidarity that like
Speaker 3: we faced because it kind of happened to all of
Speaker 3: us in the band.
Speaker 1: But it was also like.
Speaker 2: I don't know, h Like, have you ever seen that
Speaker 2: movie Whiplash?
Speaker 1: Dude?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is exactly like that.
Speaker 2: I'm not it was exact.
Speaker 3: It's exactly like like.
Speaker 2: You got whiplash, dude.
Speaker 3: I'm not even kidding. Like it was rough, and like
Speaker 3: it's affected me to such a subconscious level, Like I
Speaker 3: have fucking nightmares about it. It's insane, like out of
Speaker 3: all the things, Like it's just so ingrained that I
Speaker 3: get nightmares about it. Some people that like I hang
Speaker 3: out with and my girlfriend told me this too. They're like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, what what is going on with you?
Speaker 3: You're like like I fallen asleep and I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 3: I'm like playing my drums in my week like having
Speaker 3: these like night terrors.
Speaker 2: But was it ultimately a good experience for you? I
Speaker 2: mean you're twenty two, right, so you're out of college now.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like yeah, I met some of like the coolest
Speaker 3: people like I got invited to like gatherings. You know,
Speaker 3: I lived with these people. I'm going to live with
Speaker 3: one of my friends that I met there when we
Speaker 3: get our own apartment.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: You know, I've met people from fucking Hawaii, Iowa, you know,
Speaker 3: Wyoming that all came to this this band. I met
Speaker 3: people from Korea and like China that like came and
Speaker 3: played instruments with us, And there's this like they it
Speaker 3: connected us with a bunch of alumni too. So it's like,
Speaker 3: I know, I know a bunch of people and they're off.
Speaker 3: It's so cool. I loved it. I think think the
Speaker 3: friends that I made there are like hmm, such a
Speaker 3: solid group of people, you know, mm hmm. But I
Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know. It's it's weird seeing like
Speaker 3: such like a positive thing turn like really not great.
Speaker 3: Over like over the four years that I was in
Speaker 3: that group, I was like, man, I just kind of stucks.
Speaker 3: Like I've already made my friends. I already like I
Speaker 3: enjoyed playing my instrument, but like, I don't know, I
Speaker 3: kind of became a stet to even like show up
Speaker 3: to like practices and stuff.
Speaker 2: So what are you doing? What are you doing. Now
Speaker 2: do you graduate?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I graduated, and I'm going to grad school to
Speaker 3: be a school counselor Oh cool, like like a guidance counsel.
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 2: Do you still play in instruments?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I try to.
Speaker 3: The school I'm at doesn't have like the same music groups,
Speaker 3: and I want to like form my own band because
Speaker 3: I really like playing music, but like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: I haven't practiced in so long. I'm kind of not
Speaker 3: It's like I'm rusty, you know, mm hm hm hmmm, yeah.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you're doing a cool thing with your life.
Speaker 3: Man, Yeah, I think so, But like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: my new school doesn't have like the same kind of
Speaker 3: like sting for me to connect with people.
Speaker 2: So you wish there was more trauma bonding that you
Speaker 2: could do at the SEC.
Speaker 3: Not even trauma bonding. I think what it was is that,
Speaker 3: like we had these rehearsals, you know, three four days
Speaker 3: a week, sometimes five, so I'd be seeing these people
Speaker 3: majority of the week. Now I've found like a couple
Speaker 3: of cool things to do here. Like I'm a part
Speaker 3: of a like a tabletop board game club. Cool, but
Speaker 3: like they only meet once a week and you know,
Speaker 3: like I don't know if like I can go to
Speaker 3: all those meetings all the times because like sometimes they're
Speaker 3: during my classes. So it's just like I feel like
Speaker 3: I was spoiled for so long, you know, like being
Speaker 3: it forced into this friend experience that now that I'm
Speaker 3: outside of that, I like, I don't know, I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm not as lucky anymore.
Speaker 1: You're not as.
Speaker 3: Lucky, yeah, or like I'm not like as forced into
Speaker 3: hanging out with people.
Speaker 2: Well, well, yeah, that's that's a that's what happens when
Speaker 2: you kind of get older. But I mean there's infinite
Speaker 2: there's yeah, yeah, I mean there's ways that you can
Speaker 2: u put intension behind your life so that you're around
Speaker 2: more people.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's always, always, always ways that you can
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 3: I'm still like close to that old school, like like
Speaker 3: it's literally only like a forty or fifteen minute drive,
Speaker 3: So that's cool. So I actually go back and I
Speaker 3: visit my old friends that are still there, but like
Speaker 3: they're a lot younger than me now, so it's like
Speaker 3: it feels weird, like I don't like vibe with them
Speaker 3: as well. And then like I like the people in
Speaker 3: my classes. It's this very small program, you know, like
Speaker 3: there's literally only thirteen of us in the entire like
Speaker 3: class sighs. So like I chat with them, but I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't have a lot of the same interest as them.
Speaker 3: I don't think like they're they're really into like drinking
Speaker 3: and partying and like going out to bars and what's
Speaker 3: what what?
Speaker 2: What's What's it? What's city? Do you live in?
Speaker 1: Kevin? So?
Speaker 3: Actually I live on Long Island, Dude, I'm not far
Speaker 3: from you. Yeah, you like, I'm literally like twenty minutes
Speaker 3: from Queen's right now.
Speaker 2: Okay, listen, Kevin, I'm gonna I'm gonna just I'm gonna
Speaker 2: just throw this at you before we go, just to like,
Speaker 2: I mean you you know, man, listen, you listen to
Speaker 2: the fucking podcast. You know everything I'm gonna say, I'll say,
Speaker 2: I'll say it to you specifically if you're having issues
Speaker 2: finding people that you can really connect with, which everyone does,
Speaker 2: you know. I I I've had that issue and and
Speaker 2: and found creative ways to solve it many times in
Speaker 2: my life. And you gotta you gotta put some intention
Speaker 2: behind it. You know, you can't walk, you can't waft
Speaker 2: around in the grad school program, being like, I don't
Speaker 2: really know if I connect with any of these people.
Speaker 2: You gotta keep going. You have a lot of you
Speaker 2: have a lot of interest. You're gonna be a guidance
Speaker 2: counselor you like music. I'm sure you have fifty other
Speaker 2: things that you like or might like if you tried them.
Speaker 2: So you know, I don't, Yeah, Kevin, I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't have much to say to you that. I'm sure
Speaker 2: you haven't already heard me repeat you know one hundred times.
Speaker 2: But you should try to seek outside of your Yeah,
Speaker 2: of course, you don't have uh situations where you're forced
Speaker 2: to be around people. That's what As you get older,
Speaker 2: you get forced to do less and less things. You
Speaker 2: have to make your own decisions more and more and
Speaker 2: be more intentional about your life. So yeah, I would
Speaker 2: say that you just figure out what kind of spaces
Speaker 2: you want to be in and go be in them.
Speaker 2: You're in Long Island, You're twenty minutes from Queens. You're
Speaker 2: you live very close to New York City. Yeah, you're
Speaker 2: like an hour train ride away. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you I know you called maybe just to talk or
Speaker 2: I don't know if you wanted advice or kind of
Speaker 2: what the deal was. But uh, you know you already
Speaker 2: know what to do, man, Yeah, yeah, yeah, no good
Speaker 2: I I I just you're you're already you already know
Speaker 2: what to do. So you know, just get out there, man,
Speaker 2: Just get out up there and get out there. And
Speaker 2: then if you and then if you're lucky, you will
Speaker 2: find a bald man to throw chairs at you, because
Speaker 2: I know that's what you want, deeply.
Speaker 3: Dude, honestly, like that would be such a motivation that
Speaker 3: I think that would trigger some some de seated fing anger.
Speaker 2: Go hire, go hire a dominatrix. Go hire, hire hire
Speaker 2: a dominant, Hire a dominatrix to watch whiplash and then
Speaker 2: just do it at you, dude.
Speaker 3: Every time, like yeah, fucking slapping me when I'm trying
Speaker 3: to play.
Speaker 2: Kevin, is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: I think that you should totally.
Speaker 1: I don't know, hick ship play drums.
Speaker 3: It's a very cool anger management strategy. So if you
Speaker 3: don't know how, you should learn and you can literally
Speaker 3: use anything.
Speaker 1: So it's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Thanks for calling, Kevin.
Speaker 1: Thank you, have a great day, Have a.
Speaker 2: Good rest of your night, man.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 2: That was Kevin. Kevin's a nice boy. Yeah, I used
Speaker 2: to think. I used to think I wanted to play
Speaker 2: the drums because I would tap my pen on my
Speaker 2: desk a lot and in kind of trying to be uh,
Speaker 2: trying to be rhythmic, you know. That's all I had
Speaker 2: to say. That was the Therapy Echo podcast. That was
Speaker 2: today's podcast. I think that was a good podcast. We
Speaker 2: talked to who was the first guy. Oh, we talked
Speaker 2: to the guy who puts his balls in his ass.
Speaker 2: I really liked that one. We talked to the veterinary
Speaker 2: veterinary technician. We talked to Kevin the drummer.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't think I have anything to say that I
Speaker 2: haven't already said over the course of the podcast. So
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave you guys alone. I don't have anything
Speaker 2: to I don't Yeah, I don't have anything else to say.
Speaker 2: I don't need anything else to say. The sentence that's
Speaker 2: coming out of my mouth will be the last sentence
Speaker 2: that I say on this episode goes on the line
Speaker 2: taking your phone calls every night, neverc goes to and
Speaker 2: teaching you aloud to the memory of life is not
Speaker 2: really an expert