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Speaker 1: Hello, what's man? How you doing?

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Speaker 2: I'm doing good. How are you doing? What's your name?

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Speaker 1: I'm all right, I'm I'm Casey. I. Uh. I had

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Speaker 1: a dream the other night and it was it kind

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Speaker 1: of shook me, you know, mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Do you want do you want to talk about it?

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Speaker 2: What was the dream?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So I had this dream that like I was

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Speaker 1: just like hanging out right and I sat down wrong

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Speaker 1: and my balls like went up my butthole and like

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Speaker 1: that doesn't sound so bad, but I was like freaking out.

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Speaker 1: So I called the doctor and he uh. Like, I

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Speaker 1: went to the doctor and he's like, this is stupid.

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Speaker 1: Just fart him out right, So so I tried to

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Speaker 1: fart him out and uh and I woke up and

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Speaker 1: like I was like, legit, freaking out because like I

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Speaker 1: thought my balls would share a up my butthole, but

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Speaker 1: they weren't. That happened a couple of days ago. But uh,

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Speaker 1: but now every time I wake up, I got to check,

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Speaker 1: you know, my underneath the bits.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like when you have a dream that you're

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Speaker 2: falling and you wake up in the middle of your Yeah,

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Speaker 2: your body react. Your body doesn't know the difference. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: your body really did believe that your balls went up

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Speaker 2: into your into your butthole, and you've been checking every night.

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Speaker 2: When did you have the dream? You had it three

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Speaker 2: nights ago?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like three nights ago. Like it Like I'm not

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Speaker 1: like like having legit existential crises, but like it's just

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Speaker 1: like a little check, you know, right when I wake up?

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Speaker 2: Mmm? Have you ever what like if you were to

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Speaker 2: gape your asshole and then push your balls up into it?

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Speaker 2: How far deep do you think you could uh get?

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Speaker 1: So? Mm? Because I'm a bigger boy, right, Like I'd

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Speaker 1: have to like I have to like spread eagle in

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Speaker 1: a warm room to get to max stretch and then

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Speaker 1: like really try to uh try to get down there.

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Speaker 1: I don't, like, I don't think it would work. Like

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Speaker 1: this isn't like a logical fear, right, it is like

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Speaker 1: like an irrational one, right, it does like theoretically it

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Speaker 1: might be fun, but I don't think I'm gonna try

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Speaker 1: it out.

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Speaker 2: You think it might be fun? Have you ever had

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Speaker 2: anything in your ass?

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Speaker 1: I mean every once in a while, yeah, you know

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Speaker 1: sometimes you sometimes you get to tickle to go around

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Speaker 1: the back door. But like you think the shinter would

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Speaker 1: like you know, on unpleasant squeeziness, on the on the

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Speaker 1: delicate bits.

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Speaker 2: What's your life like outside of this.

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Speaker 1: Pretty unhappy? Like I'm I'm you know, suffering under capitalism,

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Speaker 1: as we all do, but like, yeah, you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of going through it.

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Speaker 2: Do you think any of your general life unhappiness was

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Speaker 2: manifested in this dream about your balls going into your asshole?

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Speaker 1: Maybe? I don't know, Like I'm I'm in a like

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Speaker 1: my my my wife and I are separating and it

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Speaker 1: had nothing to do with the you know, the dream,

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Speaker 1: but like I don't, like, I don't see a connection.

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Speaker 1: But that's you know, subconscious that that's right. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of the point of a subconscious.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's tricky. It's like we don't understand it,

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Speaker 2: but I do. I do think dreams tell us something

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Speaker 2: about something, you know, they do tell us about like

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Speaker 2: our subconscious fears. And I'm wondering if anything in your

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Speaker 2: conscious life is like metaphor you know, like you could

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Speaker 2: uh make an allegory of some kind that like your

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Speaker 2: balls represents uh an interruption perhaps and your assholes represents

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Speaker 2: your life.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't like I'm about to do something that

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Speaker 1: that's going to cause you know a lot of this

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Speaker 1: sorry distress, and it's trying to be like, hey man,

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Speaker 1: don't put your balls up your butthole? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh wait, I like that. I like that. Wait, okay,

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Speaker 2: hold on, this is this is this is actually an

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Speaker 2: important distinction of what you just said. In this dream,

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Speaker 2: do you does your do your balls accidentally go into

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Speaker 2: your asshole? Or do you push them in there?

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Speaker 1: No? I sat down long and it was an unintentional

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Speaker 1: un like, this was not an intentional thing. This was

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Speaker 1: like a oh fuck, I wait, why did that just happen?

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Speaker 2: M So you weren't being careful doing something that you

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Speaker 2: do all the time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then drastic on unpleasant consequences happened.

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Speaker 2: Is that Could that be analogous to anything that you

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Speaker 2: going like going on in your life?

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Speaker 1: Maybe like I've I've been toasting for a couple of years,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm doing good in my job and I'm doing

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Speaker 1: good in like other areas, but I haven't really been

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Speaker 1: pushing growth. So maybe that's.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's it interesting. What does growth look like

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Speaker 2: to you?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I'm not one of those people

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Speaker 1: that think you should always be trying to find something better,

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Speaker 1: but like maybe I'm stuck in a rut like nine

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Speaker 1: to five grind, you know, and uh and and I

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Speaker 1: think that I can I can start re evaluating some

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Speaker 1: things and and maybe look at like, Okay, well, what

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Speaker 1: have I been gotten? What have I been getting complacent with?

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Speaker 1: What am I What am I ignoring and saying I'll

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Speaker 1: do it later, I'll do it later. That I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: put my balls up my butt hole with that one?

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Do

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Speaker 2: you have an example of something like that that you

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Speaker 2: feel like you're putting your balls up your butt hole with?

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Speaker 1: Like I don't really talk to my family all that much,

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Speaker 1: like not that the you know, get anything bad or

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Speaker 1: like we've got bad blood. Like I just don't reach out,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't reach out with friends. I don't reach

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Speaker 1: out with you know, anything. I just kind of coast

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Speaker 1: and take what happens to me.

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Speaker 2: Who do you want to reach out to?

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Speaker 1: I don't even know, Like most of the people I

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Speaker 1: know suck. Like maybe that's part of the problem.

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Speaker 2: You're getting separated, right, Yeah, how long have you How

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Speaker 2: long were you guys together?

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Speaker 1: Like twenty years?

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Speaker 2: Broy, Holy fucking shit, really, really, really.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and it was it was like I was,

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Speaker 1: I was putting up a lot of I was putting

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Speaker 1: up with a lot of bullshit that I really shouldn't have,

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Speaker 1: Like I got twenty years, Yeah, I was. I was

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Speaker 1: the I got no self esteem because I kind of

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Speaker 1: suck as a person guy in high school, Like, I

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Speaker 1: was going through a lot of a lot of problems,

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Speaker 1: and I I that parlayed into hey, someone generally nice

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Speaker 1: and attractive is showing the attention and telling me that they,

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Speaker 1: you know, enjoying my presence. So I'll put up with

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Speaker 1: pretty much anything. And and now I'm I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: sick of that.

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Speaker 2: M Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, okay, I have a

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Speaker 2: lot of questions for you. This is interesting. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: want to talk about this. So, yeah, what you're describing

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Speaker 2: makes total fucking sense. When did you just when? Like, okay,

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Speaker 2: how old were you when you guys got together? It

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Speaker 2: was like high school college, seventeen.

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Speaker 1: I was seventeen. This was long distance relationship, like over AOL.

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Speaker 1: Because I'm i am back an old man and now

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Speaker 1: I'm like thirty seven, and I'm like, wow, this uh

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Speaker 1: just sucks.

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Speaker 2: What is this?

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Speaker 1: Putting up with? This? Just like general, like I'll, i'll,

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Speaker 1: I will put forth emotional energy and I will put

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Speaker 1: forth like effort to make sure things go well, and

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Speaker 1: it is just not reciprocated.

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Speaker 2: How long when did you first notice that?

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Speaker 1: About the third week of the relationship?

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Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, seriously, when you were seventeen?

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, like, just because there's a bunch of really

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Speaker 1: bad shit in it doesn't mean I deserve better, is

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Speaker 1: what I was thinking.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, I saw it a whole lot. I have

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Speaker 2: a lot of questions for you, but I'm gonna interject.

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Speaker 2: I saw a TikTok that said something like the only

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Speaker 2: straight relationships that work are one where a man is

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Speaker 2: obsessed with a woman that's a little mean to him.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, go.

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Speaker 3: Ahead, yeah, Like, okay, here here's.

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Speaker 1: The thing, Like I am. I am one of the straits.

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Speaker 1: I apologize to to any queers in the community, one

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Speaker 1: of y'all. Uh but uh like, I think that what

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Speaker 1: people think about when they think of like a dysfunctional

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Speaker 1: straight relationship is often uh like like exaggerated to an extent.

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Speaker 1: Like I think that a lot of the people that

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Speaker 1: are talking about how their their husband is like kind

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Speaker 1: of one of their extra kids, like they like, okay,

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Speaker 1: has he been checked for like neurodivergence? Like could that

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Speaker 1: be in? It? True? If they're complaining about how their

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Speaker 1: their wife is you know, Naggie awful, you know typical,

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Speaker 1: Oh my ball and chain, Like okay, well is she

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Speaker 1: going through something right now? Like you know, like if

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Speaker 1: it was it was a non straight relationship, we would

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Speaker 1: be digging into why. But because of the straight relationship,

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Speaker 1: the straights aren't.

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Speaker 2: Okay ooh you know, okay, I I see what, I

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Speaker 2: see what you mean because I see what you mean.

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Speaker 2: Because yeah, in a straight relationship, there's a there's more

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Speaker 2: like labels of like well you know that's happening because

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Speaker 2: men are like this or women are like this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and that that definitely feeds into toxics like gender stereotypes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because like we've done, we have gone to relationship therapy

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Speaker 1: a couple of times, and like one of my therapists,

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Speaker 1: the therapists was like, oh, well, clearly you're acting like

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Speaker 1: this because you're a dude. I'm like the fuck, Like,

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Speaker 1: what what are you talking about? She expect from her,

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Speaker 1: but she would expect me to just be like, oh

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Speaker 1: the guy tm mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Well I think Here's the thing, is I I I

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Speaker 2: I think I think I probably think I think about

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Speaker 2: gender roles in the same way that I think about, like, uh,

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Speaker 2: a lot of things in life, which is like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I kind of explore like there's the yin and yang

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Speaker 2: of it, which is like I think it's like you

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Speaker 2: have your you have your head in the sand. If

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Speaker 2: you're gonna say that there is no generally observed differences

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Speaker 2: between men and women, you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 2: that you gotta that's pretty obvious.

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Speaker 1: I attribute that to societal influence and prescribed like like

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Speaker 1: what we internalize as what we should as X, y

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Speaker 1: Z do or.

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Speaker 2: Be totally and I And that's the that's to me,

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Speaker 2: that's like the Okay, so we have I'm gonna go

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Speaker 2: on a tangent real quick. I want I'm gonna go, Okay,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna go on this philosophy tangent and then remind

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Speaker 2: me that we need to get back to your life

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Speaker 2: because I have lots of questions for you. But I

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Speaker 2: believe that human beings are this weird thing that we possess, uh,

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Speaker 2: like animalistic biology. And I think that there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of traditional gender roles that are present in that animalistic biology.

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Speaker 2: But then we also have this like bright human part

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Speaker 2: of us that's like conscious and kind of evolves beyond that,

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Speaker 2: and our brains are are the the wrestling of those

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Speaker 2: two forces. And so I do I think that a

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Speaker 2: lot of gender roles are like just like innately within

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Speaker 2: us and within our biology, but like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: so is like you know, murder and like other things

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Speaker 2: and we and and the to to say that society

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Speaker 2: is that a lot of gender roles are like conditioning

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Speaker 2: of society. I think is us using our human our

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Speaker 2: higher human brain to look at it and be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't have to be like this. We're humans.

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Speaker 2: We can create and build an the world as we want.

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Speaker 1: I hard disagree. I think it is actually the opposite.

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Speaker 1: I think that I think that biology and nature and

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Speaker 1: all of that stuff like, bro, it's just chaos. Like

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Speaker 1: cells don't know what the fuck is going on. Chromosomes

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Speaker 1: have no idea what society is, you know, they have

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Speaker 1: no fucking clue. But our monkey brains go all pattern recognition, right,

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Speaker 1: and they try to find patterns that ain't there, and

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Speaker 1: then they ascribe that to whatever it seems like we're finding,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So like people are people

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Speaker 1: like me? You everybody have both x y and xx chromosomes,

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Speaker 1: but it's like literally it's a spect So like my

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Speaker 1: chromosomes are mostly x Y, so I'm male presenting, but

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Speaker 1: there's a bunch of estrogen in me, you know, like

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Speaker 1: it's still there. Yeah, So like genders aren't real, you know,

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Speaker 1: like it's it's just a pattern that we're seeing that

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Speaker 1: really ain't there.

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Speaker 2: Hm hmmm.

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Speaker 1: And like people are people, So like if I happen

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Speaker 1: to be born at chick, like, I'd probably have a

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Speaker 1: lot more habits that aligned to traditional femininity, but I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: So I don't.

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Speaker 2: But isn't it? But I guess, uh, aren't you if

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Speaker 2: you're like born a man or you're born a woman,

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Speaker 2: aren't don't you like innately? And then I mean obviously

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Speaker 2: like uh everyone's uh, I don't really know. I think

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Speaker 2: a lot about what it is that makes people the

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Speaker 2: way that they are, And it's of course some combination

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Speaker 2: of like who their parents are and like what's like

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Speaker 2: in their like literal DNA and then silent conditioning, but

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Speaker 2: like within your little DNA, if you're born a man,

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Speaker 2: or you're born a woman, is like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I don't, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, like have a lot of Yeah, like chemical

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Speaker 1: processes have a lot of influence on like what you're

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Speaker 1: going to tend more towards, right exactly. Like propaganda isn't

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Speaker 1: just a thing that's intentional, you know, Like propaganda is

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Speaker 1: a thing that like happens to everybody all the time.

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Speaker 1: Every time anybody says anything, you are going to be

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Speaker 1: influenced by that, whether you intentionally reject it and say no,

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Speaker 1: fuck that guy, he's a Nazi, or if you're like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that dude. You know that dude really knows where his

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Speaker 1: towels at, and you accept that, like it's it's constantly happening,

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Speaker 1: and especially when we're children, you know, like you you

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Speaker 1: are told this is the way things are. You have

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Speaker 1: no reason to like refute it because like you're your

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Speaker 1: eight you know, you want to go play legos and shit.

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Speaker 1: So if we raised a new group of children with

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Speaker 1: like bonkers' gender roles, they're just gonna do it. And

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Speaker 1: then they're gonna argue that it's biology. M you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, You've got a bunch of testosterone testosterone

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Speaker 1: amps up what do you call it? Adrenaline? It makes

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Speaker 1: you act slightly more aggressive. So things are gonna stay

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Speaker 1: true generally. But then what we ascribed to that, to

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Speaker 1: that is like hard propagandized.

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Speaker 2: I I think, hold on, I want to make sure this.

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Speaker 2: I'm we're gonna end this philosophy talk in one second.

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Speaker 2: I want to get it back through your life. But

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Speaker 2: I think it would make it would make sense to

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Speaker 2: me that Yeah, yeah, gender roles and things like that

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Speaker 2: are like as are our you know, as are like

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Speaker 2: everything about the way that we do and things and

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Speaker 2: think about things and see things are some combination of

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Speaker 2: propaganda or societal conditioning and our DNA, so you know,

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Speaker 2: like all like yeah, like all things. I'm like, like

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Speaker 2: I am about a lot of things. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: be annoyingly agnostic about this one. But okay, okay, okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: Tradition.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so when you were seventeen three, see you were like,

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Speaker 2: I don't like the way this woman is treating me.

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Speaker 2: I don't like how I know it.

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Speaker 1: It was more like, oh okay, that's the thing that's happening.

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Speaker 2: Uh uh yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, okay. So yeah, so

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Speaker 2: you have low self esteem. You're like, you know, a

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Speaker 2: lady like you're at you're seventeen years old, You're like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, a lady that I am attracted to

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Speaker 2: likes me. This is incredible, This is amazing. I I

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Speaker 2: I will do everything in my fucking power and I

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Speaker 2: will put up with anything to keep this going. And

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Speaker 2: so if she does something that like crosses a boundary

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Speaker 2: or you're like, I don't know about that, you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's all, yeah, will Yeah, yeah that's all.

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Speaker 1: I'll talk about it. Yeah oh well nope, never again

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Speaker 1: by yep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, I know. I know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: I get I get you, I get you, I get you.

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Speaker 2: I've I've never heard of a situation where that lasted

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Speaker 2: for twenty whole years though, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Like, I really hate this word, but like I think

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Speaker 1: I was pre groomed into accepting like pretty much anything,

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Speaker 1: because like my parents, like my parents really only talked

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Speaker 1: to me when they had to. Yeah, So it was like,

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Speaker 1: hey man, like you're getting bullied at school, like, oh well,

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Speaker 1: do you like talk to the teacher about it? Not

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Speaker 1: like hey man, let's get you. Let's figure out why

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Speaker 1: that's happening. And get you, you know, some counseling or

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Speaker 1: therapy and work on those issues, not like oh, hey man,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you, and and like, oh, it's obvious

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Speaker 1: you've got like eight thousand personality problems that you know.

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Speaker 1: Even we are like, hey man, what what the fuck

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Speaker 1: you got going on here? Yeah, nope, we're just gonna

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Speaker 1: we're gonna hang out. Is nobody dead or pregnant? Everything's fine? Yep.

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Speaker 1: So like I had no basis on yeah, like what

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Speaker 1: I could expect out of other people.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you're already you're already uh yeah, to use your word,

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Speaker 2: you're already, like we can call it predisposed to this

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Speaker 2: notion or actually I guess you're. Yeah, you're predisposed to

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Speaker 2: a notion of what your relationships.

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Speaker 1: That's better, that's a better way.

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Speaker 2: You're predisposed to a notion of what relationships are like

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Speaker 2: because of your parents and because of like you know,

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Speaker 2: societal whatever. And so now when someone comes along and

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Speaker 2: shows you the fucking gives you a crumb, you're like,

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Speaker 2: I'm taking this crume. I'm taking this crumb to the bank.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna hold on to this crumb for twenty a year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, and like yeah, and so like that, there's

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Speaker 1: there's definitely you know, good times and times that it's

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Speaker 1: like oh wow, yeah, they're they're like really helping me.

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Speaker 1: They're like really, you know, okay, good, we're making progress.

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Speaker 1: This is good, this is getting better, this is getting better,

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Speaker 1: and then it every goddamn time just goes immediately back

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Speaker 1: to still fuck yourself.

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Speaker 2: M hmm. You know, I've been thinking a lot about

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Speaker 2: whether or not people can like change. I think they can.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if everyone can, but I think they

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Speaker 2: believe they can. It's weird, it's another it's another one

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Speaker 2: of my like things I'm agnostic about. I haven't lived

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Speaker 2: enough life to decide this, or maybe I have, and

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Speaker 2: maybe this is more of a perspective thing, But it's like,

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Speaker 2: to what to what degree do do you sit with

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Speaker 2: someone and work on a thing versus X versus? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you got You're never gonna fucking it's always gonna be

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Speaker 2: like I.

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Speaker 1: See it the same way people see addiction, where it's

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Speaker 1: like if if the other person does not have an

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Speaker 1: internal motivation to make this change, changing for external motivation

358
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Speaker 1: can only happen for so long before you're like, dude,

359
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 1: I didn't. I don't even want to do this. I'm

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Speaker 1: just not gonna yeah.

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Speaker 2: I know you mean yeah now that what? What was it?

362
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Speaker 2: After years?

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Speaker 1: It was just eventually feeling better and better and being like,

364
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Speaker 1: oh wait, no, I can I can hold my shit together.

365
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 1: I can you know, do better and I can you know,

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Speaker 1: I I am proving to myself that I can be

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Speaker 1: a technically functioning adult, Like I should probably get some

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Speaker 1: recognition for that, and I should probably get some effort

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Speaker 1: coming back my way. And it didn't happen. And then

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Speaker 1: that just for like six years, and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: well you know what, Yeah, this ain't happening, like I'll

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Speaker 1: I'll still no now we're now we're we're still living

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Speaker 1: together for now. But like like I hate it, but

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Speaker 1: like I'm still willing to try, like I do not

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Speaker 1: have expectations, but like you know, oh.

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Speaker 2: You're still You're stillilling to try. You're you're still willing

377
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Speaker 2: to try to work it out with this girl.

378
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's probably almost definitely not gonna happen. But

379
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Speaker 1: like what why It is a complicated thing of like

380
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Speaker 1: I it makes me feel bad, the idea of like

381
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Speaker 1: I'm done because I don't want people done with me,

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Speaker 1: so I will not do it to someone else, and

383
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Speaker 1: that's probably a bad thing for me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you don't want people being like I'm done.

385
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Speaker 1: Just being like, well, you suck. I'm done. I'm like,

386
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Speaker 1: beat it, you suck.

387
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm about to throw a insane therapy

388
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 2: reframing on this. You want to explore something, Yeah, let's

389
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 2: do it. Okay. What if? Okay, you don't want people

390
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 2: saying to you, I'm giving up on you, right, and

391
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: so that's why you don't want to give up on

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Speaker 2: someone else.

393
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what.

394
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Speaker 2: If you are your best friend in the planet, maybe

395
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Speaker 2: even you're only true friend in the world, not you specifically,

396
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 2: but just every reason. And what if by continuing over

397
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 2: and over again to let yourself get back into this,

398
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 2: you are giving up on yourself, which you would never

399
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 2: want someone to do to you. But you're doing it

400
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 2: to yourself and you're your best friend.

401
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: I have not yet internalized that message, Like I feel

402
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: like I'm coming up around to.

403
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 2: It, but you get what I'm saying.

404
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, Like you gotta value yourself and I really don't,

405
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: like I think I'm cool and all that, but like,

406
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, I wouldn't be friends with me. I'm

407
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: kind of annoying. Yeah, like I'm cool, but like sometimes

408
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: i'm a lot so yeah, like I'm I'm I'm I'm

409
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: getting there.

410
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 2: Yeah it's hard.

411
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, so oh it's five o'clock. I gotta complain in

412
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 1: the D and D.

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00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 2: Okay, cool? Well is there anything else you want to say?

414
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:41,719
Speaker 2: That people the computer before we go?

415
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 1: All your teeth have different birthdays? All right? By later?

416
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 2: Man, that was interesting. I have I have more thoughts

417
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 2: on that, or do I? Or maybe I shared them all.

418
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,360
Speaker 2: I was thinking about that last night. I was thinking

419
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 2: about the idea of like myself as my own best

420
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 2: friend or like you're the only real I'm trying to

421
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 2: think more about that shit about how I am my

422
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 2: own best friend and and if I talked and I

423
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 2: and I think about the way I talk to myself

424
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 2: or view myself, and yeah, sometimes you uh you can

425
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 2: really like talk to yourself or think of yourself as

426
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 2: uh worse off in such a way that like if

427
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 2: a part if your best friend said that to you

428
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 2: or thought that of you, you wouldn't want to be friends

429
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 2: with that person. They'd be a fucking asshole.

430
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Speaker 3: You know.

431
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 2: It's hard. It's hard to have. It's hard to have

432
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 2: self esteem, and they really it does have to come

433
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: from again, you know, as I agnostically, you know hold

434
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 2: it comes from a little bit of within and a

435
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 2: little bit of something outside of yourself. I don't know

436
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: if one can truly, I mean, someone can. I know,

437
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: I only I only have my own life experience. I

438
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: don't think I can fully feel self esteem with that

439
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 2: a little, you know, external validation. I don't think I

440
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 2: could do the whole thing on internal validation. But I

441
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 2: can't do the whole thing on external validation either, So

442
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: you need a little bit of both. I hope that

443
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 2: guys all right, man, he's better to go back into

444
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 2: that relationship. I hope that guy will be all right. Okay,

445
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 2: let's stick another call. Hello, Hi, what's your name?

446
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 4: I'm Savannah. How are you doing?

447
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: I'm doing good, mainly because I drank a coffee before this,

448
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: so I feel. Yeah, it's a cycle, but whatever, you know.

449
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like I can't exist, and the other

450
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 2: times I'm like, wait, I actually I think I can.

451
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: And there's a lot of physical factors involved with that. Anyway,

452
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I don't want to keep talking about myself.

453
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 2: What's up with you, Savannah? What's going on in your life?

454
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 4: Hey, so I am currently changing jobs. I got a

455
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 4: great opportunity at a very well paying job, and I'm

456
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 4: really nervous about it.

457
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: What is the opportunity.

458
00:30:54,800 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 4: It'll be the it's like an emergency animal hospital. I've

459
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 4: only ever worked in like general practice animal hospitals, so

460
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 4: like vaccines, ear infections, stuff like that. But yeah, I

461
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 4: got the opportunity to be a vet tech at an

462
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 4: emergency hospital. And I don't think I'm smart enough, but

463
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 4: I got the job.

464
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: Sweet.

465
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: Okay, it's another self esteem thing. Why don't you think

466
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 2: you're smart enough?

467
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 4: Well, I didn't go to college, of course. I'm twenty seven.

468
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 4: By the way, I lost my last job because kind

469
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 4: of in the realm that I wasn't picking up on

470
00:31:54,440 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 4: things as easy as other people. But I have a

471
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 4: lot of confidence. I'm very excited to start this. I

472
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 4: like more emergency cases. Anyways, sounds kind of bad, but

473
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 4: I like I like not like sick animals, but like

474
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 4: I enjoy helping and seeing it.

475
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: Kind of.

476
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Wait, so

477
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 2: why do you have to be smart? Can't you just

478
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 2: want to help animals.

479
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 4: So that's actually the thing in that medicine. I have

480
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:40,239
Speaker 4: had two jobs that have told me that asked me

481
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 4: if they're like, are you just in it for the animals?

482
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 4: And that medicine isn't very well paying. So my response

483
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 4: every time is like, yeah, absolutely, I'm here for the animals.

484
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 4: And apparently that's the wrong answer.

485
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: What is the right answer.

486
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 4: For my From what I I can understand, the correct

487
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 4: answer would be personal growth to make the company more money.

488
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy.

489
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't like that. I'm gonna get paid fifteen

490
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 4: dollars an hour?

491
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 2: So what's the Like? Is the veterinary health industry similar

492
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 2: to the human American health industry?

493
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's pretty similar. We of course have like

494
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 4: a human medical world. I feel like you don't have

495
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 4: to pay for things like right away, I don't know

496
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 4: about you, my medical debt can just sit there, don't

497
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 4: really care. But in veterinary medicine, of course we have

498
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 4: to take the payment during this service. So yeah, it's

499
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 4: it's pretty similar. It's like, I'm a the equivalent of

500
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 4: being a pediatrician, because these people care a lot about

501
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 4: their animals and they're.

502
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 2: Very mean to us, they're a mean to you.

503
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean people are mean at any job. Really,

504
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,240
Speaker 4: can I kind of change the subject really fast?

505
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.

506
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 4: I wanted to tell you a story. I've also been

507
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 4: trying to call for about two months. I have been

508
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 4: really excited and now I'm kind of nervous.

509
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 2: We have not no cool cool, no, go ahead and

510
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 2: go ahead.

511
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 4: Yeah. So this is kind of just a silly story.

512
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:04,240
Speaker 4: So I grew up with a very liberal, very liberal family.

513
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 4: I'd say they're very very left leaning. And when I

514
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 4: was younger, of course my parents like smoked weed, and

515
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 4: of course he didn't want me to know that they

516
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 4: used to smoke cigarettes and everything like that, so I

517
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 4: was kind of like, I just kind of assumed it

518
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 4: was a cigarette. But my dad told me this great

519
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 4: lie that I used now on my stepdaughter, and I

520
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:43,839
Speaker 4: think lying the children is okay for this reason. So

521
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 4: whenever my dad got off work, he told me that

522
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 4: he had to do paperwork, and again he worked on

523
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 4: the farm. So whenever I was younger and he'd come

524
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 4: in like weed, I have so ated it with working

525
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 4: really hard. And whenever I was in high school, I

526
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 4: remember smelling it like on somebody and I was like,

527
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 4: did you just get back from the gym? Like, you know, sorry,

528
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 4: I'm a little nervous right now. No, but yeah, So

529
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 4: I associated the smell of weed with like sweat, and

530
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 4: that was kind of like a little silly thing you

531
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 4: can tell children that I genuinely believed until I was.

532
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 2: Like eighteen, Oh, that when your dad smoked weed, he

533
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 2: was just sweaty.

534
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and he looked tired.

535
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 2: You know, do you smoke weed?

536
00:36:54,280 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 4: I do. Yeah, It's it's very I do it like

537
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 4: before I go to bed. I'm not like a very

538
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 4: social smoker by any means.

539
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: So sorry, I'm only I'm only transitioning back because I'm

540
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 2: thinking about the questions that I.

541
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: Have for you.

542
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: So you've got this job. You've got this job at

543
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 2: this place. The way there's the job. You got the

544
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 2: job at the place that wants you to say that

545
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 2: you're in it for the money.

546
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: I'm not sure. I haven't gotten to that point yet.

547
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 4: I start Monday at it, And I mean every animal

548
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 4: hospital kind of leans towards life. Who you want people

549
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 4: that are passionate about animals, but then you kind of

550
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 4: get into it and they're more worried about making money.

551
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,800
Speaker 4: Then which I can understand because it's a business setting.

552
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 4: Like for example, one time, there was this dog that

553
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 4: came in and I just I love the dog, I

554
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 4: love the owner. And I sat there for about ten

555
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 4: minutes in the room with them, and I'm just on

556
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,359
Speaker 4: the ground putting the dog, asking her questions, you know,

557
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 4: like are they eating and drinking normally? No vomiting, diarrhea.

558
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 4: And I got in trouble for that. I got called

559
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 4: up to the office and said that I need to

560
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 4: focus more on the client than the animal. And in

561
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,720
Speaker 4: my eyes, I wasn't doing anything wrong. But I guess

562
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:44,439
Speaker 4: in like management world, they're kind of just like, don't

563
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 4: focus on the animals.

564
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 2: Focus on the on the on the customer, Yeah.

565
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 4: And try to get them to do as many vaccines,

566
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 4: as many tests as we can do.

567
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 2: Oh shit, they're turning you into like a fucking car

568
00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 2: mechanic of dogs.

569
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like a salesman and like I and like,

570
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 4: of course I'm pro Like you know, if you come

571
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 4: in with your pet, you know, and you're like they're

572
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 4: they're vomiting and diarrhea, and you're like, okay, well we

573
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 4: should run some tests. You know, if you say no,

574
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 4: it's kind of like, well, then we're just treating sympematically.

575
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 3: You know.

576
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 4: So I understand the need for some of that, but

577
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 4: like sometimes, like we just got my old job. We

578
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 4: just got Brebecco, which is a flea and tick injection

579
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 4: that lasts for twelve months. It is seven hundred dollars,

580
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 4: and I everyone there is being forced to try and

581
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 4: push that compared to a flea pill that's thirty dollars

582
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 4: a month. It's always made me really uncomfortable because I'm

583
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 4: here for themimals, I'm not.

584
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 3: I don't.

585
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 4: If I wanted to work with humans, I would go

586
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 4: work with humans. But I don't really like humans. I

587
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 4: like animals.

588
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 2: I don't. Uh. I don't think you need to have

589
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 2: a like an inferiority complex about the job. And you

590
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 2: can let you're here for the fucking animals, you know,

591
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't see why you say you're not, uh,

592
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 2: you're not you're not smart enough. I mean that's what

593
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 2: in that? In that? What the in that? What the

594
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 2: industry needs is people give a shit about animals.

595
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,760
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it's like, you know how some people

596
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 4: are like books smart and some people are like quote

597
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 4: unquote like street smart. Yeah, I think they expect me

598
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 4: to be more instead of empathetic and caring and kind

599
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 4: of like I don't know, I'm a woman, like a

600
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 4: motherly figure. They instead of how having that emotional intelligence,

601
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 4: they want you to have more of a like business intelligence,

602
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,240
Speaker 4: if that makes any sense. And I just don't feel comfortable,

603
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:17,280
Speaker 4: like yeah, I don't feel control selling things to people

604
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 4: that they don't want. I do agree with, like the

605
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 4: rabies vaccine, but like you know, if you're if your

606
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 4: dog doesn't bored, why they need a flu vaccine. I

607
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 4: haven't gone a flu vaccine need ten years. I probably should.

608
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:37,479
Speaker 4: But yeah, and at my so at my new job

609
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 4: that I start, it costs a lot of money, you know,

610
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 4: Like this is like it looks like an emergency room

611
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 4: has like the little doors in the little driveway that

612
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 4: you pull in if there's like a true emergency and

613
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 4: they rush out and get the animal. And with that

614
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 4: comes a lot of money. So I'm gonna have to

615
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 4: be the person that looks an owner in the face

616
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:11,240
Speaker 4: and goes okay while you're total with fifteen thousand dollars.

617
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 4: And I hate being that person. I because I don't

618
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 4: know if you have any animals. Do you have any animals?

619
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 2: No, I don't.

620
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, yeah, I don't know. I've been in that situation.

621
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 1: Okay.

622
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:38,720
Speaker 4: One good Like one thing is so one time these

623
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 4: like two sixteen year olds found a dog on the

624
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 4: side of the road, right, and so they do the

625
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 4: right thing and they bring them to the nearest animal

626
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 4: hospital and they say, hey, I've found this dog, and

627
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 4: I've gone, oh my goodness, let's check for a microch

628
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 4: And I'm sitting there, you know, giving the dog tree,

629
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 4: you know, looking up the microchip, trying to see if

630
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 4: we can find the owner. And pretty much if you

631
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 4: can't find the owner, some places just recommend like them

632
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 4: being euthanized and or turning them back loose on the streets.

633
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 4: And I really hate that about that medicine. It doesn't

634
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 4: and I don't want to scare an you want it

635
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:33,399
Speaker 4: that's listening or anything. But with my experience, they don't

636
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 4: really care about the animals. They care more about money.

637
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 3: Which.

638
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 4: It's valid, but it's also not so I guess I'm

639
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 4: kind of nervous to start a new job that costs

640
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 4: way more money.

641
00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 2: You said the job costs way more money, Like, uh, oh,

642
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,399
Speaker 2: that you're providing a service that costs way more money

643
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 2: than what you were previously doing.

644
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, Yeah, So, like the normal visit at my

645
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 4: last job was around three hundred dollars, the average visit

646
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 4: at my new job, I can assume as being a

647
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 4: client there at one point being about a thousand of

648
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 4: two thousand. And it's just hard.

649
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 3: It's hard to.

650
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 4: Have compassion for animals and also have to take care

651
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 4: of the money.

652
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 3: Side of it.

653
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, mm hmm.

654
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 4: It's just conflicting.

655
00:44:52,160 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 2: I think that you're in a good position to compassionate

656
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 2: to animals, which is what you want to do.

657
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 3: Yeah.

658
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 2: So I guess if I were you, and I was

659
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 2: in this job, and I was wondering if I was

660
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 2: smart enough, I would just I guess, if what you're

661
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 2: aligned on is is, you know, be compassionate to animals,

662
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 2: I would just be like, Okay, well, how do I

663
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 2: move in the direction of that?

664
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: Yeah?

665
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 4: I really wish I could just work out of rescue

666
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 4: or something, but I am a single woman that lives alone,

667
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 4: so I sadly can't take anything less than like twenty

668
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 4: dollars an hour, so that it feels like even my

669
00:45:52,840 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 4: dream job isn't an option because of money I live.

670
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 4: I mean, can I say what day I live in?

671
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 1: Yeah?

672
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 4: Sure, I live in South Carolina, So it's kind of

673
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 4: it's not a very expensive place to live, but it

674
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:27,280
Speaker 4: it doesn't offer a lot of opportunity for growth unless

675
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 4: you're like one good Southern boy.

676
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:41,280
Speaker 2: No, mm hmm yeah, yeah, yeah, that's tough.

677
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think, sorry, I'm kind of switching around

678
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 4: on topics, but I think I'm just in a very

679
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 4: transitional point in my life, so I'm kind of questioning

680
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 4: like my job and everything right now. Well, I got

681
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 4: out of a very long relationship a few months ago,

682
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,359
Speaker 4: so I moved in by myself to my own little

683
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 4: apartment and then starting a job that I feel like

684
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 4: is way bigger than I am. She's given me a

685
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 4: lot of anxiety.

686
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 2: What's your name again?

687
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 4: I'm Savannah, Savannah.

688
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, if I sorry, go with me for a second, Savannah.

689
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I If I don't have anything entirely

690
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 2: productive to say in response to any of these things,

691
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 2: it is okay.

692
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 4: I'm just very excited to talk to you. It's been

693
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 4: a it's been an interesting year, and I've been I've

694
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,439
Speaker 4: been trying to like talk to you for about two months.

695
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 4: I'm excited that I'm like already here and I understand

696
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 4: how it's kind of a niche situation, was a very

697
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 4: niche job. But yeah, how I guess something maybe I

698
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 4: could get advice on maybe is how how have you

699
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 4: and the past dealt with a transitional period of your life.

700
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look within myself. I'm gonna take a moment

701
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna look within myself to give you the

702
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 2: most honest answer to that question that I feel comfortable sharing.

703
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna take a moment to do that. What

704
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,319
Speaker 2: how do I normally deal with a transitional period in

705
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 2: my life?

706
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 1: Yeah?

707
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 2: Mmm, I'm trying to think of last time I had

708
00:48:55,520 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: strong transitional periods. M.

709
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

710
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 2: I usually deal with it by a lot of overthinking,

711
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 2: a lot of comingup with plans of things I'm going

712
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 2: to do. I'll come up with like twelve ideas of

713
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 2: things I'm going to do in my head, and then

714
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 2: I'll do one of them. That's how That's how I've been,

715
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 2: That's how I've been able to ever do anything with

716
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 2: my life. Is I'll come up with I'll say I'm

717
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 2: going to do like ten things and I'll actually do

718
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 2: one of them sometimes.

719
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, and doing one of them is already such a

720
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 4: big step.

721
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 2: Weird.

722
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just a weird place we put in. That's

723
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 4: also my first time like living alone and doing all

724
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 4: of those on my own, so I think that kind

725
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 4: of adds to my anxiety on switching jobs and everything

726
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 4: like that. This is the first time my life I've

727
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 4: ever really had to deal with something like this. But

728
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 4: I will say overall, I'm very happy I did get

729
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 4: a really good job that'll makes me a lot of money.

730
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 4: Leaving my partner was a hard decision, but it was

731
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 4: a very smart one. And I'm just trying to figure

732
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 4: out how to cope because I feel like sometimes I

733
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 4: instead of coping, I just I either a overthink or

734
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 4: I just throw all my problems underneath a rug and

735
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 4: I try not think about it. And I think right

736
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 4: now I'm overthinking.

737
00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 2: Savannah. Is there anything else you want to say to

738
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?

739
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 4: No, thank you so much for having me. I hope

740
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:13,400
Speaker 4: to talk to you later whenever I'm not as nervous.

741
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,239
Speaker 4: But it's great talking to you. I hope you have

742
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 4: a great day and Also, I plan on being you

743
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 4: for Halloween.

744
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 2: You're gonna be You're burying the lead, Savannah. Are you're

745
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 2: gonna be me for Halloween?

746
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 4: Yeah? I found you're like kind of your little costume.

747
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 2: I think anyone, anyone can do it. It's sixty dollars

748
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,880
Speaker 2: on Amazon. Actually I think it's up. It's like one

749
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 2: hundred or some shit.

750
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 4: Now yeah, it's like I think I got it at

751
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 4: eighty dollars. I'm waiting for it to drive and then

752
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 4: I'm gonna corse paint my face green. I thought about

753
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 4: walking around with a microphone. Huh, Like, is there anything

754
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 4: you want to tell the people of the internet before

755
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:57,359
Speaker 4: you go?

756
00:51:58,080 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 2: That's cool?

757
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

758
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 4: Fuck yeah hell yah, well, I hope you have a

759
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 4: wonderful day.

760
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 2: Thank you if you if you if you do do that,

761
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 2: if you do do that, tag me in uh, if

762
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 2: you make like Instagram pictures or some ship, tag.

763
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 4: Me in that, yeah perfect, I will heck yeah, well,

764
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 4: thank you. Thanks GK. You're amazing.

765
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 2: Thank you, Savannah. Have the rest of the day, you too,

766
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 2: Bye bye bye those Savannah. Yeah, I mean again, Yeah,

767
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,719
Speaker 2: I was trying to I was really trying to reach

768
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: into my uh brain, and and give an honest answer

769
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 2: to that question, like how do I deal with change?

770
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 1: Not?

771
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I don't know if we're

772
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if humans are wired to deal with change. Well,

773
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 2: I mean some of us are. Some of us are

774
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 2: really fucking good at it, but I think most of

775
00:52:55,520 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 2: us are prone to overthinking. Hello, who what's up?

776
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 1: Wait?

777
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 3: Is this is this the podcast?

778
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: Oh?

779
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your name?

780
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 3: Oh shit, I didn't think i'd actually dude, I'm Kevin.

781
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 2: It's up, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin Kevin.

782
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,319
Speaker 3: Oh my god, dude, I've been listening. I'm not even

783
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,640
Speaker 3: kidding since I was in high school, dude, Like since

784
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 3: I was sixteen before COVID.

785
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:24,839
Speaker 1: Man.

786
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 2: Wow, no shit, that's so cool man. I'm uh yeah,

787
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 2: it's It's so cool that people are still here that

788
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 2: have been here for a long time. I'm glad this

789
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: is this is This is nice, man, This is this

790
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 2: feels like a fucking nice little corner. I'm I'm man,

791
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:42,399
Speaker 2: still hanging out here.

792
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, I'm twenty two now. I'm like, dude, your

793
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 3: your show has gotten me out of like some like

794
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:53,800
Speaker 3: rough patches.

795
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 1: So cool.

796
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 3: Wow, dude, this is so cool.

797
00:53:57,960 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 2: Thanks man.

798
00:53:58,800 --> 00:53:59,399
Speaker 1: How are you doing?

799
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 3: How you doing?

800
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm happy to.

801
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 2: How am I doing well? Uh? I don't know. I'm

802
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 2: thinking about what you said just now and I'm trying

803
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 2: to take it in and I appreciate it. I am

804
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 2: a little flustered. I feel very I feel very present

805
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 2: right now with like doing the show. Oh yeah, you

806
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 2: know it's Uh, I've been thinking, you know, I've been

807
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,720
Speaker 2: thinking a lot about life, as I as I always

808
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 2: tend to do. But I I'd like to be doing

809
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 2: more experiencing life and less thinking about it. But it's

810
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 2: so paradoxical. You know, you think too much and then

811
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 2: you start to want to escape your own consciousness. Sorry,

812
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 2: I'm doing okay, I'm doing good. How are you doing?

813
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 2: How are you doing? Kevin? What's going on with you?

814
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 1: Kevin?

815
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 3: Ye know, I do like I've been kind of all

816
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 3: over the place, Like this week. Yeah, I've been like

817
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 3: really good. I've been like motivated, but also I'm like ruminating.

818
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, I'm ruminating on the fact

819
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 3: that like I feel kind of like isolated sometimes, but

820
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 3: then like I'm hanging out with people and it's fun.

821
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm all over the place. I actually

822
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:35,440
Speaker 3: I texted you at the beginning of your stream because

823
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 3: I actually want to talk to you about This is

824
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 3: gonna sound weird, but I think a lot of my

825
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 3: problems are related to marching bands.

826
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 2: Marching bands, yeah is this?

827
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 1: Let me explain.

828
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 3: So I'm a grad student and and my undergrad I

829
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 3: joined a marching band and I was in that for

830
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 3: four years, and like, oh, man, I feel like cringey

831
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,840
Speaker 3: saying this because like there's always such like a negative

832
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 3: connotation for like doing this kind of stuff. But like, man,

833
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 3: if I didn't do that in my undergrad I don't

834
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 3: think I would have like connected with people as well

835
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 3: as I did. Like I always listen and you're like, oh,

836
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,680
Speaker 3: you got to put yourself in these places to like

837
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 3: hang out with people with similar interests. I'm like, yeah,

838
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 3: well I did that and it was simultaneously like one

839
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 3: of the coolest experiences. And also like.

840
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 1: He gave me, like trauma.

841
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 2: How did I give you trauma?

842
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 3: I guess I don't know, Like there there's some there's

843
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 3: some like weird, not weird.

844
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: I guess there was these like.

845
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 3: I guess harassment or like constant like yelling, like it

846
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 3: felt so much like a boot camp, and like I

847
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 3: was constantly like getting screamed at on like a daily basis,

848
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 3: and like there's a certain level of solidarity that like

849
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 3: we faced because it kind of happened to all of

850
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 3: us in the band.

851
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 1: But it was also like.

852
00:57:53,640 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 2: I don't know, h Like, have you ever seen that

853
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 2: movie Whiplash?

854
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 1: Dude?

855
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is exactly like that.

856
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 2: I'm not it was exact.

857
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 3: It's exactly like like.

858
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 2: You got whiplash, dude.

859
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 3: I'm not even kidding. Like it was rough, and like

860
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 3: it's affected me to such a subconscious level, Like I

861
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 3: have fucking nightmares about it. It's insane, like out of

862
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 3: all the things, Like it's just so ingrained that I

863
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 3: get nightmares about it. Some people that like I hang

864
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 3: out with and my girlfriend told me this too. They're like,

865
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 3: oh my god, what what is going on with you?

866
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 3: You're like like I fallen asleep and I'm not even kidding.

867
00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:01,600
Speaker 3: I'm like playing my drums in my week like having

868
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 3: these like night terrors.

869
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 2: But was it ultimately a good experience for you? I

870
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 2: mean you're twenty two, right, so you're out of college now.

871
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:08,479
Speaker 1: Yeah.

872
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like yeah, I met some of like the coolest

873
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 3: people like I got invited to like gatherings. You know,

874
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 3: I lived with these people. I'm going to live with

875
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 3: one of my friends that I met there when we

876
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:28,000
Speaker 3: get our own apartment.

877
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 1: Uh.

878
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 3: You know, I've met people from fucking Hawaii, Iowa, you know,

879
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 3: Wyoming that all came to this this band. I met

880
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 3: people from Korea and like China that like came and

881
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 3: played instruments with us, And there's this like they it

882
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 3: connected us with a bunch of alumni too. So it's like,

883
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:57,479
Speaker 3: I know, I know a bunch of people and they're off.

884
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 3: It's so cool. I loved it. I think think the

885
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:05,440
Speaker 3: friends that I made there are like hmm, such a

886
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 3: solid group of people, you know, mm hmm. But I

887
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know. It's it's weird seeing like

888
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 3: such like a positive thing turn like really not great.

889
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,600
Speaker 3: Over like over the four years that I was in

890
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 3: that group, I was like, man, I just kind of stucks.

891
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 3: Like I've already made my friends. I already like I

892
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 3: enjoyed playing my instrument, but like, I don't know, I

893
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 3: kind of became a stet to even like show up

894
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 3: to like practices and stuff.

895
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 2: So what are you doing? What are you doing. Now

896
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 2: do you graduate?

897
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:55,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I graduated, and I'm going to grad school to

898
01:00:55,360 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 3: be a school counselor Oh cool, like like a guidance counsel.

899
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 1: Cool.

900
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 2: Do you still play in instruments?

901
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

902
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: I try to.

903
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 3: The school I'm at doesn't have like the same music groups,

904
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:15,439
Speaker 3: and I want to like form my own band because

905
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 3: I really like playing music, but like, I don't know,

906
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 3: I haven't practiced in so long. I'm kind of not

907
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 3: It's like I'm rusty, you know, mm hm hm hmmm, yeah.

908
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

909
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 2: It sounds like you're doing a cool thing with your life.

910
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 3: Man, Yeah, I think so, But like, I don't know,

911
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 3: my new school doesn't have like the same kind of

912
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 3: like sting for me to connect with people.

913
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 2: So you wish there was more trauma bonding that you

914
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 2: could do at the SEC.

915
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:12,040
Speaker 3: Not even trauma bonding. I think what it was is that,

916
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 3: like we had these rehearsals, you know, three four days

917
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 3: a week, sometimes five, so I'd be seeing these people

918
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:24,880
Speaker 3: majority of the week. Now I've found like a couple

919
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:26,960
Speaker 3: of cool things to do here. Like I'm a part

920
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 3: of a like a tabletop board game club. Cool, but

921
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 3: like they only meet once a week and you know,

922
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 3: like I don't know if like I can go to

923
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 3: all those meetings all the times because like sometimes they're

924
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 3: during my classes. So it's just like I feel like

925
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 3: I was spoiled for so long, you know, like being

926
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 3: it forced into this friend experience that now that I'm

927
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 3: outside of that, I like, I don't know, I feel

928
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 3: like I'm not as lucky anymore.

929
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:12,919
Speaker 1: You're not as.

930
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 3: Lucky, yeah, or like I'm not like as forced into

931
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,080
Speaker 3: hanging out with people.

932
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 2: Well, well, yeah, that's that's a that's what happens when

933
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 2: you kind of get older. But I mean there's infinite

934
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 2: there's yeah, yeah, I mean there's ways that you can

935
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 2: u put intension behind your life so that you're around

936
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 2: more people.

937
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 1: That's true.

938
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,480
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's always, always, always ways that you can

939
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:43,800
Speaker 2: do that.

940
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 3: I'm still like close to that old school, like like

941
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 3: it's literally only like a forty or fifteen minute drive,

942
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 3: So that's cool. So I actually go back and I

943
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:04,800
Speaker 3: visit my old friends that are still there, but like

944
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 3: they're a lot younger than me now, so it's like

945
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 3: it feels weird, like I don't like vibe with them

946
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:15,640
Speaker 3: as well. And then like I like the people in

947
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 3: my classes. It's this very small program, you know, like

948
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 3: there's literally only thirteen of us in the entire like

949
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 3: class sighs. So like I chat with them, but I don't.

950
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 3: I don't have a lot of the same interest as them.

951
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 3: I don't think like they're they're really into like drinking

952
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:41,959
Speaker 3: and partying and like going out to bars and what's

953
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 3: what what?

954
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 2: What's What's it? What's city? Do you live in?

955
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:45,520
Speaker 1: Kevin? So?

956
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:47,960
Speaker 3: Actually I live on Long Island, Dude, I'm not far

957
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:54,479
Speaker 3: from you. Yeah, you like, I'm literally like twenty minutes

958
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:55,479
Speaker 3: from Queen's right now.

959
01:04:55,680 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 2: Okay, listen, Kevin, I'm gonna I'm gonna just I'm gonna

960
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:05,400
Speaker 2: just throw this at you before we go, just to like,

961
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 2: I mean you you know, man, listen, you listen to

962
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 2: the fucking podcast. You know everything I'm gonna say, I'll say,

963
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 2: I'll say it to you specifically if you're having issues

964
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:19,440
Speaker 2: finding people that you can really connect with, which everyone does,

965
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 2: you know. I I I've had that issue and and

966
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,440
Speaker 2: and found creative ways to solve it many times in

967
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 2: my life. And you gotta you gotta put some intention

968
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:34,000
Speaker 2: behind it. You know, you can't walk, you can't waft

969
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 2: around in the grad school program, being like, I don't

970
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:39,439
Speaker 2: really know if I connect with any of these people.

971
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:42,000
Speaker 2: You gotta keep going. You have a lot of you

972
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 2: have a lot of interest. You're gonna be a guidance

973
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:47,400
Speaker 2: counselor you like music. I'm sure you have fifty other

974
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 2: things that you like or might like if you tried them.

975
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 2: So you know, I don't, Yeah, Kevin, I don't. I

976
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:55,560
Speaker 2: don't have much to say to you that. I'm sure

977
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 2: you haven't already heard me repeat you know one hundred times.

978
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:05,080
Speaker 2: But you should try to seek outside of your Yeah,

979
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 2: of course, you don't have uh situations where you're forced

980
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 2: to be around people. That's what As you get older,

981
01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 2: you get forced to do less and less things. You

982
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,240
Speaker 2: have to make your own decisions more and more and

983
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:25,280
Speaker 2: be more intentional about your life. So yeah, I would

984
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 2: say that you just figure out what kind of spaces

985
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 2: you want to be in and go be in them.

986
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:33,000
Speaker 2: You're in Long Island, You're twenty minutes from Queens. You're

987
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 2: you live very close to New York City. Yeah, you're

988
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 2: like an hour train ride away. I don't know if

989
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:44,680
Speaker 2: you I know you called maybe just to talk or

990
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 2: I don't know if you wanted advice or kind of

991
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:50,640
Speaker 2: what the deal was. But uh, you know you already

992
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:53,520
Speaker 2: know what to do, man, Yeah, yeah, yeah, no good

993
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 2: I I I just you're you're already you already know

994
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 2: what to do. So you know, just get out there, man,

995
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,200
Speaker 2: Just get out up there and get out there. And

996
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:03,680
Speaker 2: then if you and then if you're lucky, you will

997
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:06,280
Speaker 2: find a bald man to throw chairs at you, because

998
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:08,800
Speaker 2: I know that's what you want, deeply.

999
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 3: Dude, honestly, like that would be such a motivation that

1000
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 3: I think that would trigger some some de seated fing anger.

1001
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 2: Go hire, go hire a dominatrix. Go hire, hire hire

1002
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:29,360
Speaker 2: a dominant, Hire a dominatrix to watch whiplash and then

1003
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 2: just do it at you, dude.

1004
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 3: Every time, like yeah, fucking slapping me when I'm trying

1005
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 3: to play.

1006
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 2: Kevin, is there anything else you want to say to

1007
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?

1008
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:44,560
Speaker 1: Uh?

1009
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:50,200
Speaker 3: I think that you should totally.

1010
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:55,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, hick ship play drums.

1011
01:07:55,920 --> 01:08:00,280
Speaker 3: It's a very cool anger management strategy. So if you

1012
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,480
Speaker 3: don't know how, you should learn and you can literally

1013
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:04,080
Speaker 3: use anything.

1014
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 1: So it's pretty cool.

1015
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 2: Thanks for calling, Kevin.

1016
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,400
Speaker 1: Thank you, have a great day, Have a.

1017
01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 2: Good rest of your night, man.

1018
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:17,360
Speaker 3: Thanks.

1019
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:24,800
Speaker 2: That was Kevin. Kevin's a nice boy. Yeah, I used

1020
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 2: to think. I used to think I wanted to play

1021
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:29,479
Speaker 2: the drums because I would tap my pen on my

1022
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 2: desk a lot and in kind of trying to be uh,

1023
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 2: trying to be rhythmic, you know. That's all I had

1024
01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:48,320
Speaker 2: to say. That was the Therapy Echo podcast. That was

1025
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:51,880
Speaker 2: today's podcast. I think that was a good podcast. We

1026
01:08:51,960 --> 01:08:56,320
Speaker 2: talked to who was the first guy. Oh, we talked

1027
01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:58,120
Speaker 2: to the guy who puts his balls in his ass.

1028
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:02,719
Speaker 2: I really liked that one. We talked to the veterinary

1029
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 2: veterinary technician. We talked to Kevin the drummer.

1030
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:10,000
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1031
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 2: I don't think I have anything to say that I

1032
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:14,519
Speaker 2: haven't already said over the course of the podcast. So

1033
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:21,840
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave you guys alone. I don't have anything

1034
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,200
Speaker 2: to I don't Yeah, I don't have anything else to say.

1035
01:09:24,479 --> 01:09:28,840
Speaker 2: I don't need anything else to say. The sentence that's

1036
01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:32,360
Speaker 2: coming out of my mouth will be the last sentence

1037
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:38,240
Speaker 2: that I say on this episode goes on the line

1038
01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:42,080
Speaker 2: taking your phone calls every night, neverc goes to and

1039
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:45,840
Speaker 2: teaching you aloud to the memory of life is not

1040
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:47,440
Speaker 2: really an expert