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Speaker 1: Hey, this is aam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 2: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: My husband abandoned me for his ex and now he

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Speaker 3: wants my property.

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Speaker 2: You don't get that.

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Speaker 3: So I am thirty five female and my husband is

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Speaker 3: thirty nine male. We have been married for five years.

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Speaker 3: Before marrying me, he was with his high school sweetheart

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Speaker 3: for a decade. Apparently they had compatibility issues and then

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Speaker 3: lost contact. Now his ex has kidney failure and is

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Speaker 3: on dialysis and has come to our city for treatment,

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Speaker 3: and according to my husband, she contacted him through a

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Speaker 3: mutual friend. By the way, this comes from am I

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Speaker 3: being weird? And if you want to see make your

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Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 3: I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily,

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 3: what we would do, so let us know what you

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Speaker 3: would do the comments. As Opie says, now, my husband

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Speaker 3: wants to help her very politely, I asked my husband,

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Speaker 3: does she not have her own people that can help

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Speaker 3: and nurse her? Why contact him all of a sudden

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Speaker 3: after years. My husband was pissed and said how could

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Speaker 3: I be so petty and immature regarding a patient asking

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Speaker 3: such stupid questions, and that he expected better from me.

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Speaker 3: Then I said, if the situation is so dire, then

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Speaker 3: let's get her a place in our flat in another locality.

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Speaker 3: And if he was so adamant, then let's finance her

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Speaker 3: nursing facility. What is the need to get personally involved

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Speaker 3: like a nurse, I said, I do not want to

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Speaker 3: get involved in personally nursing his ex or in her

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Speaker 3: medical recovery process, nor do I want to go see

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Speaker 3: her in the hospital with him. My husband said he

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Speaker 3: was just disappointed in me, that I was showing jealousy

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Speaker 3: over a long ended relationship and could not show maturity

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Speaker 3: even with a patient. So am I the a hole?

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Speaker 3: And we do have an update. I tried to have

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Speaker 3: another conversation with my husband and my parents are soon

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Speaker 3: visiting my house, but I don't think we've made any progress.

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Speaker 3: I talked pretty politely that it is very unfair to

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Speaker 3: me and my boys, I have two three year old twins,

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Speaker 3: that he is willing to be an emotional support tool

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Speaker 3: to an ex and is so heck been on being

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Speaker 3: at her side. Caring about acquaintances is a different thing,

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Speaker 3: but offering things like being an emotional support tool or

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Speaker 3: a caretaker should be exclusive to one's spouse. Offering it

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Speaker 3: to any third party, even if it's a platonic female friend,

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Speaker 3: will be the foundation of an emotional affair, let alone

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Speaker 3: offering it to an ex. You're a little insecure now.

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Speaker 3: He told me that it is tragic that I don't

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Speaker 3: trust him even after being together for nine years. We

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Speaker 3: dated for four years and have been married for five,

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Speaker 3: and accused me of having an affair. He said it

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Speaker 3: is natural for people to care about their loved ones

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Speaker 3: and acquaintances, especially when they are sick, and being an

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Speaker 3: emotional support tool, being a caretaker, or being at someone's

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Speaker 3: side is the bare minimum one can do and does

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Speaker 3: not automatically translate into an emotional affair. He said, it

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Speaker 3: is sad that I am so narrow minded that I

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Speaker 3: am taking offense at him being personally involved with his ex. Ideally,

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Speaker 3: he said, I should have volunteered to help his ex

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Speaker 3: visited her, consoled her, and shown some empathy instead of

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Speaker 3: being an insecure person. I said, I'm not negating the

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Speaker 3: fact that we should help a sick person, and we

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Speaker 3: get nurses and doctors involved and assist financially, but you

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Speaker 3: offering emotional intimacy to her does not go down my throat.

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Speaker 3: He once again said, tossing just money to a sick

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Speaker 3: person is so cold hearted on your part, and a

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Speaker 3: patient needs to see that people are available for her,

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Speaker 3: to which I said, I'm not obliged to be available

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Speaker 3: for her, nor are you. Nobody will blame you for

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Speaker 3: not taking responsibility for your ex's life troubles. He cut

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Speaker 3: me in between and said what a selfish take that was,

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Speaker 3: and that he would be selfish to not respond properly

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Speaker 3: to a person asking for help. Then one of my

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Speaker 3: twins woke up and our conversation ended. We have an

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Speaker 3: update too. A lot has happened and I feel kind

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Speaker 3: of numb and dumb. So, as most of you expected,

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Speaker 3: my husband and I are getting divorced. What I was

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Speaker 3: not expecting that, Yeah, his ex, who has kidney failure

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Speaker 3: and his on dialysis, did not reach out only because

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Speaker 3: she needed help. She reached out because she wanted him back.

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Speaker 3: Her illness is real, but her intentions were not. She

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Speaker 3: eventually admitted that to me directly, and she was quite

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Speaker 3: blatant in this regard. Maybe her illness has made her

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Speaker 3: irritable and scornful, but that is how it was. Right now,

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Speaker 3: I feel strangely calm. It is not unexpected, but I

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Speaker 3: am still unable to process that a man can leave

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Speaker 3: a relationship of a decade with two kids. We dated

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Speaker 3: for four years, have been married for five, and have

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Speaker 3: two twins who are three years old, like this, with

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Speaker 3: a zero visible regret. My parents are with me, helping

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Speaker 3: me stay steady for my twin boys, who just turned three.

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Speaker 3: They are too young to understand what is happening, but

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Speaker 3: they keep me grounded. After everything came to light, my

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Speaker 3: husband admitted that she was the one who ended their

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Speaker 3: relationship years ago because she thought he lacked a drive

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Speaker 3: and stability. He never really got over her. Seeing her again, fragile,

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Speaker 3: vulnerable and remorseful reopened old feelings he had never dealt with,

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Speaker 3: And in my mind, I was like, knucklehead, you could

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Speaker 3: have admitted it from day one instead of gaslighting me.

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Speaker 3: But I guess I was just speechless there. I actually

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Speaker 3: met her by coincidence. Three days ago. My husband had

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Speaker 3: been visiting the hospital frequently, and one afternoon he forgot

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Speaker 3: his insurance file, which also contained some of our joint

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Speaker 3: investment papers. Since I was disentangling things from him in

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Speaker 3: the background while waiting for my parents to come and

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Speaker 3: give my marriage a last chance, I had gone to

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Speaker 3: collect it from the administrative office at the dialysis unit.

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Speaker 3: The dialysis unit was tucked in a quieter wing separated

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Speaker 3: from the outpatient block. Outside the renal chamber, the waiting

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Speaker 3: area was attached. I was standing there waiting for the

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Speaker 3: administrative officer to bring out the insurance file when she

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Speaker 3: appeared with a nurse. She recognized me right away, and

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Speaker 3: before I could even introduce myself, she told the nurse

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Speaker 3: to give us room for a moment. The nurse was

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Speaker 3: hesitant to leave an immunocompromised person, but she insisted on

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Speaker 3: a couple of minutes of privacy. Then she asked me,

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Speaker 3: you are husband's name wife, right. I swear to God

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Speaker 3: I had not met this woman once, so I don't

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Speaker 3: know how she recognized me in a glance. I said yeah,

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Speaker 3: and she asked me to sit down for a moment.

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Speaker 3: Then she said, I was planning to bring this up

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Speaker 3: gradually to you, but it's better we met here, I

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Speaker 3: guess today or tomorrow. You have to know this. There

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Speaker 3: isn't any use going around the bush, so I will

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Speaker 3: come straight to the point. I know you probably think

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Speaker 3: I'm intruding, but I never stopped loving him. I was like,

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Speaker 3: what the actual f No way this is real. In reality,

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Speaker 3: she was married to another man for a while, who

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Speaker 3: I guess passed in some accident, so it is not

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Speaker 3: like she was some cinematic protagonist spending her life singly

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Speaker 3: pining for my knucklehead of a husband as she was sounding.

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Speaker 3: I was the one who ended things, and I regret

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Speaker 3: it deeply. I just want to be with him again,

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Speaker 3: even if it's only for whatever time I have left.

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Speaker 3: I swear to Almighty sitting above seven heavens. I am

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Speaker 3: not exaggerating a single word. These were her exact words.

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Speaker 3: I left the file counter without saying anything. In the

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Speaker 3: side corridor near the elevator lobby, I would have burst

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Speaker 3: into violent sobs had nurses and other people not been

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Speaker 3: moving there too. When I got home and told my

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Speaker 3: husband what had happened. He did not deny it. He

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Speaker 3: said he could not help how he felt, and that

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Speaker 3: being around her made him realize he still loved her.

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Speaker 3: At this point, I did not think I had anything

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Speaker 3: else to say. I am now a single mother of

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Speaker 3: twin boys, and honestly I am fine. I earn much

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Speaker 3: more than my husband, and the house wheel is entirely

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Speaker 3: my property. The apartment is in the Southern Academic District,

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Speaker 3: not far from the old university campus where I teach.

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Speaker 3: It is a three bedroom flat on the fourth floor

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Speaker 3: of a quiet residential block. I bought it seven years

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Speaker 3: ago when I was promoted to associate professor, using my

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Speaker 3: savings and part of a research grant I had received

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Speaker 3: for curriculum development. When this all came to light, I

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Speaker 3: asked him to leave, and he did. It was not

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Speaker 3: a dramatic fight. I told him calmly that if his

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Speaker 3: heart was to go with her, that is where he

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Speaker 3: should go. There is no legal obstacle in it. He

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Speaker 3: had contributed little to the mortgage or maintenance, and the

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Speaker 3: property was always mine. He did try to bring up

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Speaker 3: that we are intertwined on other financial fronts, and honestly,

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Speaker 3: even if it is partial entanglement. What complicates things now

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Speaker 3: are the shared investments and educational funds we set up

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Speaker 3: for a twin boys. Well, Opie's got such better radar

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Speaker 3: then I would have ever had.

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Speaker 1: For real, so good.

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Speaker 2: Like, I mean, I guess I'm still probably would have

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Speaker 2: gone without the like just name calling and stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I guess titles being thrown out there of like emotional affair. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I mean, oh, she was right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, sure certainly also would have been on my guard,

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Speaker 3: but she was way more ready for this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It makes me wonder too if like other things were

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Speaker 3: just already going wrong.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that she was like curious, Yeah yeah, because she like, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know, you're just a poor victim cut in the

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Speaker 2: middle of all of this rama here. You're just like

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Speaker 2: that that other woman in a in a rom com.

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Speaker 3: Classic rom com.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately. Yeah, so sad, so sad.

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Speaker 3: We have a little bit left. We have a joint

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Speaker 3: mutual fund account, a children's saving bond, and a small

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Speaker 3: commercial investment in a co working space near the railway junction.

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Speaker 3: The co working space investment is another area of dispute.

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Speaker 3: Although the capital came from me, The business registration lists

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Speaker 3: both our names for tax convenience, which was his idea.

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Speaker 3: Only now he is attempting to claim half the profits

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Speaker 3: from the currently cycle. My lawyer has filed for a

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Speaker 3: forensic accounting review to prove the monetary trail originates from

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Speaker 3: my personal savings. This is looking exhausting in theory only.

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Speaker 3: And there are a few more entanglements that will be

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Speaker 3: too much to type. And not to forget the legal

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Speaker 3: proceedings of divorce, which we have not started yet, and

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Speaker 3: not to forget custody stuff. And that is the end

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Speaker 3: of that story.

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Speaker 2: My husband demanded that I forget my late husband, so

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Speaker 2: I decided to leave.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, good for you.

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Speaker 2: My thirty five female first husband, John passed away very

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Speaker 2: suddenly six years ago. We were together for eight years

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Speaker 2: and happily married for four. We never had children. Three

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Speaker 2: years after he passed away, I met my current husband,

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Speaker 2: Ned and we hit it off immediately. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Throwaway nine five six two three five seven,

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the hour slash Okay storytime Separated and I'm Angie,

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Speaker 2: I'm Carlyn, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully.

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Speaker 2: We'll have all the answers, we just know what we

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Speaker 2: would do in this situation, so let us know what

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Speaker 2: you would do in the comments. So ope, He says.

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Speaker 2: We got married last year and everything has been great,

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Speaker 2: save for one recurring argument. Ned hates that I still

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Speaker 2: have sentimental items for my first marriage. I've tried to

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Speaker 2: be sensitive to his feelings because I don't want him

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Speaker 2: to think that I just settled for him because John

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Speaker 2: passed away. I don't want to make him feel like

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Speaker 2: I want him to compete, or that I'm measuring his

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Speaker 2: worth using John as a yardstick. Ever since the first

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Speaker 2: time he expressed his discomfort with this, I do not

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Speaker 2: bring John up around him, and I keep the things

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Speaker 2: out of sight. I keep my wedding photos, other photos,

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Speaker 2: wedding tape, home videos, gifts from John, and his old

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Speaker 2: record collection in two large chests and basement. The rest

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Speaker 2: of his things I gave away to his brother and nephews.

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Speaker 2: I have looked at them maybe thrice in the last

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Speaker 2: two years, and usually at his family's requests. I don't

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Speaker 2: want to throw them out or give them away, because

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Speaker 2: they signify an important part of my life. Even if

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Speaker 2: I'm in love with another man now, I'm still very

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Speaker 2: close with John's family. Every year, on John's birthday, we

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Speaker 2: have a family reunion where we remember him. We eat, drink,

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Speaker 2: tell funny stories, lave and his most unflattering photos, watch

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Speaker 2: home videos, including mine, play his favorite songs, and generally

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Speaker 2: have a good time. It hasn't been a sad affair

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Speaker 2: for at least three years now. John's family is very

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Speaker 2: welcoming and have expressed interest in meeting net. He declined

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Speaker 2: because he felt uncomfortable. I understand why, but they are

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Speaker 2: also my family. He doesn't want to attend family events

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Speaker 2: like the reunion, birthdays, or weddings, and I never force him,

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Speaker 2: even though it does hurt my feelings that he wants

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Speaker 2: to shut out my whole family. Yesterday, he found some

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Speaker 2: old books of John's that I had forgotten to remove

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Speaker 2: from our library and accused me of leaving them there

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Speaker 2: to spite him instead of putting them in the basement,

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Speaker 2: so that I don't love him, and that he knows

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Speaker 2: that I wish John was still alive. I told him

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Speaker 2: that I do love him, and that he was being

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Speaker 2: unfair because I can't very well say I'm glad he's

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Speaker 2: passed away. He told me that if I want to

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Speaker 2: prove that I love him. I should throw out all

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Speaker 2: my mementos because John and I I've never had kids

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Speaker 2: to pass them on to, and that I can go

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Speaker 2: to family things except the birthday celebration. I have tried

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Speaker 2: to explain that I can't simply forget eight years of

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Speaker 2: my life, and that it's unfair for him to expect

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Speaker 2: me to say that I'm glad that I was widowed,

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Speaker 2: but he refuses to speak to me until they do

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Speaker 2: what he wants. My God, I'm extremely hurt, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like I'm not being unreasonable. But now I'm wondering

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Speaker 2: if maybe I am the A hole. He wants me

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Speaker 2: to throw out all the items, but I don't. Am

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Speaker 2: I the A hole? And there are some comments delete it,

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Speaker 2: says Divo RCEE. He is being manipulative, bordering on gaslighting.

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Speaker 2: If I have the term right, run this is so

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Speaker 2: beyond wrong.

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Speaker 4: Not the A hole, Giant, not the A hole, Opie says.

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Speaker 2: I can understand how this all screams red flags, and

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Speaker 2: it will probably make me sound super naive if I

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Speaker 2: try to defend this behavior by emphasizing his gentler traits,

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Speaker 2: So I won't. I just want to try to fix

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Speaker 2: it first. As all, I'll definitely have to ask myself

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Speaker 2: if I'm okay with giving in for his sake or

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Speaker 2: consider divorce if he refuses to compromise or go to

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Speaker 2: couple's therapy. I hope this doesn't make me come across

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Speaker 2: as weak, because I just want to give us a

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Speaker 2: fair shot at being happy together. Thank you for your perspective. Nonetheless,

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Speaker 2: another commentary says, not the a hole. Oh, for f's sake,

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Speaker 2: I'm in Ned's position. My wife was married before her

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Speaker 2: husband passed away four years later. I met her. Two

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Speaker 2: years after that, we were married. Some guy my age

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Speaker 2: is no longer in the world, and that's how I

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Speaker 2: got to be married. For me to be jealous of

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Speaker 2: a passed away guy would be pathetic as well as pointless.

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Speaker 2: It's not like he's competing with me for her affection.

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Speaker 2: Ned is a peepyhead, and Opie says, thank you so

293
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Speaker 2: much for this. I was genuinely beginning to feel like

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Speaker 2: there was something that I wasn't getting and I'm so

295
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,280
Speaker 2: tired of explaining the same thing over and over again.

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Speaker 2: I've told him that exact thing, that I'm not comparing

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Speaker 2: them or making him compete with a passed away man,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know how else to explain this to him.

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Speaker 2: Flow Prag says, not the a hole. Please do not

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Speaker 2: give it into his demands and throw away your memories.

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Speaker 2: You'll regret it immensely. Opie says, I'm so sure I'll

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Speaker 2: regret it if I do. I'm now thinking of maybe

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Speaker 2: taking the chests down to John's parents' house and storing

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Speaker 2: them there. I know they would be willing to take

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Speaker 2: care of them for me. I just don't want to

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Speaker 2: look like a pushover if I've not done anything wrong.

307
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Speaker 2: And I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one

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Speaker 2: making compromises because you are. You definitely are. And we

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Speaker 2: do have an update from the next day.

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Speaker 3: God, get rid of this man totally.

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Speaker 2: It's such a controlling move, like the fact that, like

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Speaker 2: if this was something that was your choice of like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is how I'm gonna move on raway this stuff.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna distance myself from those family events. Sure, sure,

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Speaker 2: but you like having to explain to his to John's

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Speaker 2: family of being like, no, I can't do this because

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Speaker 2: my husband doesn't want me to.

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Speaker 3: Being forced.

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Speaker 2: You're being forced, ridiculous it's absolutely not your choice. And

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Speaker 2: then someday, if Ned decides to leave you for some reason,

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Speaker 2: then you're gonna You're gonna be left with this semess

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Speaker 2: that he's me. But we do have an update the

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Speaker 2: next day. I never thought he would try I had

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00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 2: to tamper with my things, but I also didn't think

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00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 2: he would ever behave like this when I married him.

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Speaker 2: I would like to clear up a few things first.

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Speaker 2: I've had a few hostile comments and dms saying that

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Speaker 2: I've been trying to make him uncomfortable by asking him

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Speaker 2: to family things, forcing my idea of normal on Ned,

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Speaker 2: and even quote forced him to be in a polyamorous

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Speaker 2: relationship with a ghost. I don't see how because I

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Speaker 2: changed my name, I go out of my way to

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Speaker 2: not mention or do anything related to John, for save

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Speaker 2: for the one day a year when we have the reunion.

335
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Speaker 2: I even used to celebrate mine in John's anniversaries and

336
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,520
Speaker 2: wore his ring, but I stopped doing that before Ned

337
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 2: and I met. I don't even mention the traditions we

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Speaker 2: had out of respect. I do miss him sometimes, but

339
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 2: I'm not pining, and I don't verbalize it. Except my

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Speaker 2: therapist therapy helped me immensely here, and I'm working my hardest.

341
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 2: I didn't try to make Ned come to the birthday

342
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Speaker 2: reunions with me. I only suggested the reunion after he

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Speaker 2: accused me of spending it pining for John. I wanted

344
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Speaker 2: him to see that that's not true. I did ask

345
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,960
Speaker 2: him to come to John's brother's wedding with me and

346
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Speaker 2: my nephew's birthday, and he said no, both times, signing

347
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 2: the same reasons. My therapist helped me frame some points

348
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,560
Speaker 2: to tell Ned that we needed couple's therapy. John's brother

349
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 2: Tom came over and helped me move my stuff so

350
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Speaker 2: we could take them to his parents' storage. Tomorrow. Ned

351
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,200
Speaker 2: finally came out of the den and lost his mind

352
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,080
Speaker 2: when I told him that therapy is non negotiable. He

353
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,679
Speaker 2: tried to stop us from moving the stuff a few times,

354
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 2: accused me of violating his trust by asking for help,

355
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 2: and that Tom in my relationship is inappropriate because we're

356
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 2: not related anymore. He claims he asked me to get

357
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,680
Speaker 2: rid of the stuff in the chests, but the actual

358
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,719
Speaker 2: chests belong to us both, and that I have no

359
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,879
Speaker 2: right to take them away, that I am being manipulative

360
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 2: by not trusting him with my stuff. He didn't give

361
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Speaker 2: me an answer regarding his therapy. Honestly, I just let

362
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 2: Tom do most of the shielding at that point because

363
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 2: I'm tired of repeating the same thing, and I felt

364
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 2: so spent that I just couldn't find it in me

365
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 2: to shout over him to be hurt. I was able

366
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 2: to get some things together, and now I'm currently at Thom's.

367
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,440
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful to him and his wife are breaking

368
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 2: quarantine for me now. I am just trying to manage

369
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 2: my anxiety, at least until I can talk to my

370
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,199
Speaker 2: therapist again. I know everyone wants me to say that

371
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,159
Speaker 2: I'm definitely going to divorce him, but I need a

372
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,359
Speaker 2: moment to collect and process. I promise. I'm thinking about

373
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 2: how to take care of myself and keeping the separation

374
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 2: and divorce in mind. I went from being giddy with

375
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 2: love to being frustrated but hopeful this morning, to considering

376
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:32,120
Speaker 2: divorce in the evening. He's blowing up all our phones now,

377
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 2: but I'm very tired and I just want to sleep.

378
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 2: And there is a second update. But oh my gosh, gosh,

379
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 2: totally understandable that you just need space and you're still

380
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 2: considering divorce, but you just need like to reflect on everything.

381
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:46,560
Speaker 2: That's so understandable.

382
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 4: But yeah, hopefully this really just puts him in a

383
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 4: new light and shows you like that.

384
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,440
Speaker 1: You know, his.

385
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 2: Accusing you of being manipulative is crazy because you literally

386
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 2: didn't even if someone was, like even if what Nedda

387
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 2: is saying is true, and it's like, no, I just

388
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 2: wanted you to get rid of the stuff, Like those

389
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,439
Speaker 2: chests mean something to me. I want those chests something

390
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 2: like that. Then Opie like getting rid of the things

391
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,879
Speaker 2: or Opie just bringing the whole chests away is in

392
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,360
Speaker 2: no way manipulative, Like there's no way you can spin

393
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,879
Speaker 2: that someone getting rid of a chest of stuff is

394
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,520
Speaker 2: not manipulative at all.

395
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 3: Ever, I'm also just like it's manipul Like it's terrible

396
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 3: if she keeps it there, it's terrible if she gets

397
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 3: rid of it.

398
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you want her to do? Yeah, like

399
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 2: it's such as you have so many you're moving the

400
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,160
Speaker 2: goalpost with how you want her to handle this.

401
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 3: Right, she's already gotten rid of everything, Yeah that she

402
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 3: has of his Yeah, exactly what go to therapy?

403
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:48,359
Speaker 1: Dude?

404
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,360
Speaker 2: I agree, no negotiable yeah, Like, you're bringing up these

405
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,360
Speaker 2: rules of how she has to deal with this, and

406
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 2: that is absolutely not okay. You're just accusing her giving

407
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,719
Speaker 2: her demands and you're not telling her, like, hey, how

408
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 2: do you I feel about this? Yeah, but we do

409
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 2: have a second update. A few people have contacted me

410
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 2: to let me know that my post is being shared

411
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 2: on social media and that a relationship website has written

412
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 2: a story on it. I am a little disappointed, but honestly,

413
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,440
Speaker 2: it's not the worst thing to have in these past

414
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 2: few days. I'm mentally preparing for the possibility that it

415
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 2: will get back to Ned and likely cause more attention.

416
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 2: Just updating to let everyone know that I'm aware and

417
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 2: we do have a third update. I want to write

418
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 2: this down at least to hold me accountable to my decision.

419
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,199
Speaker 2: I spoke to Ned a few hours ago for the

420
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 2: first time since I left the house. He was very

421
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,399
Speaker 2: angry and lashing out. Initially I planned on having a

422
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,680
Speaker 2: face to face, but given the content of his messages

423
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 2: to myself and my family when I left, I chose

424
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 2: to do so over zoom. I didn't want to ask

425
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,639
Speaker 2: anyone else to chaperone because I'm honestly still embarrassed by

426
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 2: the events earlier this week. There was a lot of

427
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 2: alternation between crying, yelling, and begging, and somehow he eventually

428
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 2: agreed to try marriage counseling and individual therapy. I explained

429
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 2: to him that I don't ever expect him to spend

430
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,879
Speaker 2: time with my family if he doesn't want to, but

431
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,439
Speaker 2: would he be willing to that they are my family

432
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 2: even if we share no blood or existing relationship by marriage.

433
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 2: I explained that I have known them since I was

434
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 2: barely eighteen before there was even a John and I,

435
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 2: and that they have been my people for a decade

436
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 2: and a half. I explained that I would happily try

437
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 2: to foster the same relationship with his siblings were he

438
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 2: to ever get back on speaking terms with him. I'm

439
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 2: really hopeful that this is heading towards divorce.

440
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am glad that marriage counseling was mentioned. Yes,

441
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 3: I don't see it working. It is so against therapy

442
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 3: to begin with. Yeah, and hey, I'll stay slightly hopeful

443
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 3: for you, but I don't like hear your current husbands.

444
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 2: I don't like him at all. I won't stay hopeful

445
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 2: for you in your.

446
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know I've changed for my minde. Yeah, you're

447
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 3: still riding.

448
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 2: I think absolutely. I think the fact that when you

449
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 2: initially brought up therapy and said it was no negotiable,

450
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 2: he like blew up right, and then now after so

451
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 2: much back and forth of crying and anger and stuff,

452
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 2: now he's finally agreeing to it, like he just doesn't

453
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 2: have to get there. Yeah, he's definitely just doing that

454
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 2: to like get you to stop or get you to

455
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 2: stay or something, and he's not going to keep with

456
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 2: it at all. But there is a little bit more

457
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: to the story this. He refused to budge on. He

458
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: said he will never be okay with my relationship with

459
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 2: my family and that he will not refer to them

460
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 2: as such because what I was apparently describing was close friendships.

461
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 2: I won't bore you with other details because after that answer,

462
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: I don't know who or what I'm even fighting to

463
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 2: hold on to. I'm slowly accepting the fact that I

464
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 2: will be putting away more wedding photos soon. I can't

465
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 2: believe it hasn't even been a year. And that's the

466
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 2: end of this story.

467
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 4: We're going on to the next one.

468
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 3: My marriage spiraled in under a year, and now I'm

469
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 3: leaving my husband.

470
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 2: Maybe that's what needs to happen, and.

471
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 3: We do have a trigger warning for substance use and booze.

472
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 3: I twenty six female, have been married to my husband,

473
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 3: thirty one male for less than six months. We dated

474
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: for over five years before that. I met him during college,

475
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 3: which I attended in a different state, about twelve hours

476
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 3: from my family. By the way, this comes from Time

477
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,959
Speaker 3: Animator seventy two to seventy seven and if you want

478
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 3: usubmit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

479
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 3: storytime subreddit. I'm Carlen, I'm anngie, and we're here to

480
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 3: give good advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers.

481
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 3: We only know what we would do, So let us

482
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says,

483
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 3: I have a couple of extremely toxic family members, but

484
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 3: the rest of them I am very close to and

485
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 3: it has been hard being away from them for the

486
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 3: almost ten years since I left for college. In the

487
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 3: years I have been away from home, I have not

488
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 3: really made any friends, so I have no support system

489
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 3: outside of my husband and his family and friends. A

490
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 3: few months ago, we agreed to move in with my

491
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 3: husband's parents to save up for a home, and also

492
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 3: to assist with his mother's health condition. She had a

493
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 3: massive surgery and has had trouble in the past. Following

494
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 3: doctor's orders, I have been helping with everything from chores

495
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 3: and cooking to medication management and appointments. We plan to

496
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 3: stay for about a year and then purchase a home nearby.

497
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 3: Living with my husband and his family has brought to

498
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 3: light some serious communication issues within the family. My husband

499
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 3: has no real boundaries when it comes to his family,

500
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 3: and it has become clear why he has not been

501
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 3: able to achieve any of his goals, mainly home ownership

502
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 3: and children, since he is constantly providing logistical and financial

503
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 3: support to his parents and adult brother who struggles with

504
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 3: regular use and is constantly enabled by his family. I

505
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 3: will give one example. His parents failed to communicate until

506
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 3: about two weeks before his mother would lose her insurance

507
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 3: through her employer because she has yet to return to work.

508
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 3: My husband intends to pay for her insurance indefinitely, along

509
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 3: with the expenses of her care. He also got upset

510
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 3: when I expressed confusion and essentially dared me to voice

511
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 3: a problem with this, and he has accused me of

512
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 3: not prioritizing his family in the past, so the conversation

513
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 3: is over before it starts. I have felt unappreciated, but

514
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 3: I did not really complain until I discovered that my

515
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 3: husband may have cheated on me. I am not sure

516
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: of the extent. I found some messages and he admitted

517
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 3: to paying for our phone spicy sleep and I have

518
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 3: a bad feeling, but it is about all the evidence

519
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 3: I have. Each of these incidents was when he was

520
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 3: really wasted. He will not confirm or deny anything in

521
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 3: a believable way. He shuts down and gets defensive whenever

522
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 3: I try to talk to him, so that kind of

523
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 3: gives me my answer. I still feel paranoid and crazy

524
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 3: all the time. This made me realize that I would

525
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 3: like a stronger support system in order to continue this relationship.

526
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 3: I asked if we could move halfway between our families

527
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 3: to make the trip to see my family easier on me.

528
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 3: To be clear, I gave a timeline of a year

529
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 3: or so so we could make proper arrangements regarding our jobs,

530
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 3: living situation, and of course, his family. He says no

531
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 3: because his family needs him and he is unwilling to

532
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 3: quit his job. He has a good job, and he

533
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 3: has worked really hard for the position he's in. I

534
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 3: also asked if we could attend couples counseling, but he

535
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 3: said no because he does not trust therapists. We have

536
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 3: had this conversation multiple times with essentially the same outcome.

537
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,719
Speaker 3: I do not consider myself to be a stupid person,

538
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 3: and I can usually recognize red flags, but clearly not

539
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 3: since this is not.

540
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 4: Who I thought I married.

541
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 3: I always thought I could trust my husband and he

542
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 3: would respect my needs, but I am realizing he may

543
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: not care about me as much as I care about him.

544
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 3: He says that he is working on a plan and

545
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 3: that he is committed to us staying together, but it

546
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 3: does not seem that way. I am looking for jobs

547
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 3: near my family, but my finances and everything I owe

548
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 3: are wrapped up with this person, and every conversation we

549
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 3: have had is unproductive at best and toxic at worst.

550
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 3: I've told him more than once that I am thinking

551
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: about moving by myself since I really need to be

552
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 3: close to my family, and he freaks out every time.

553
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 3: I am terrified that if I keep pushing, he is

554
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 3: going to freak out and I will be homeless without

555
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 3: a plan.

556
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 1: I know his.

557
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 3: Parents are going to lose it when they find out

558
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 3: as well. It is also really hard to apply for

559
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 3: jobs because it means that I am giving up on

560
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 3: my marriage that I have been super committed to. How

561
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 3: do I get him to at the very least let

562
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 3: me go if he will not compromise, instead of insisting

563
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 3: that we will work out and then ignoring the problem

564
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 3: and do I wait for the year to see if

565
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 3: things get better or leave as soon as possible. Any

566
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 3: advice is appreciated. This has been really hard on me.

567
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 2: I feel like a year is a long time to

568
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 2: see things through. Yeah.

569
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 3: I feel like if you genuinely can't even voice your

570
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 3: opinions anymore. Yeah, it seems like as soon as you

571
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 3: guys got married, everything just like changed, Like he was

572
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 3: like I have.

573
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 4: Her now, like I'm married to like got here locked

574
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 4: in right.

575
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think if you can't voice your opinions in

576
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: the relationship is just kind of over right, Like that's

577
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: like what are you what are you a prisoner?

578
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 3: Like you can't you can't have any thoughts?

579
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like huh no, it's a little weird to me.

580
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, you know, maybe see you through for

581
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 2: like a couple of months or something, if you really

582
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 2: want to, if if you want things to change, but

583
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 2: like it's not gonna take a year for things to

584
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: change that much. Like that's a big issues.

585
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 3: Very very big ones. Yeah, we have an edit. I

586
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 3: just wanted to clear some things up that I may

587
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: have misconstrewed or overlooked. Our finances are separate except for.

588
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: A few bills.

589
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 3: I have a job, I make decent money, and I

590
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 3: have savings a couple thousand. But it is a start.

591
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: He does what he wants with his money. I do

592
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: what I want with mine. I do not really care

593
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 3: what he does his money. But when our plan was

594
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 3: to save money and move, then I see him giving

595
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: large amounts to his parents. I get confused. While there's

596
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 3: no communication, I know I can leave for a lot

597
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 3: of reasons. I do not want to move in with

598
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 3: family unless it is an absolute emergency. I would prefer

599
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 3: to get a job and an apartment near them, which

600
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 3: will take time, at least a few months. I am

601
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 3: planning and trying to work up the nerves to leave.

602
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 3: I guess my main concern is that he will not

603
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 3: address any of these problems. He thinks we are fine

604
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 3: and if I suggest divorce. It is going to be messy.

605
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 3: I fear he thinks our issues are still that she

606
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 3: lost trust and she misses her family. I live in

607
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 3: a crazy world where we only have problems because I complain.

608
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 3: I am trying to confirm if I am doing the

609
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 3: right thing, and how I can lessen the blow for

610
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 3: when the inevitable happens and he makes us really hard

611
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 3: by saying I left him and blindsided him and essentially

612
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 3: throws a tantrum into the bitter end. My father in

613
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 3: law retired a few months ago. He retired early. I

614
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: do not know why no one communicates and in my opinion,

615
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 3: does not hold weight. I know it seems lazy that

616
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 3: I am lacking context, but I am just as confused

617
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: as you are.

618
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

619
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 3: I did not see any signs before. I was fine

620
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 3: with this lifestyle and did not complain until I found

621
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 3: out about the possible cheating that changed my perception. I

622
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 3: am also extremely careful about not getting pregnant. We are

623
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 3: barely having any spicy sleep anyway. After the cheating, we

624
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 3: have an update. I am leaving. I was still a

625
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 3: little in denial when I first posted, and I am

626
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 3: still doubting myself a lot. But I found the gram

627
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 3: dms with him messaging a girl on there, flirting and

628
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 3: exchanging pictures. I also found messages of him buying substances

629
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 3: on numerous occasions.

630
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: Wow.

631
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 3: He has also been binge drinking a lot. I found

632
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 3: weien a wrap is when we first moved in. We

633
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 3: do not use them, and he spent over an hour

634
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 3: in VIP with a spicy dancer and danced around telling

635
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 3: me what he did with her. Still no direct answer

636
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 3: other than nothing. I have a consultation with an attorney

637
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 3: this week to see about an annulment. I am not

638
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 3: sure if I will be eligible based on the rules

639
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: in my state, but I am going to try to

640
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 3: go for the quickest option. I have stopped trying to

641
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 3: fix the relationship. I asked a few times about the

642
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 3: couple's counseling. Again he still says no. He said that

643
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 3: he was trying to make it work between us by

644
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 3: finding a way to move. I told him that he

645
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 3: will not do it, so just drop the subject and

646
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 3: I will get over it. He acknowledged that I will

647
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 3: not be happy if we do not move, but he

648
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 3: has been a little nicer to me since He also

649
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 3: promised to drink less, and he has not been been

650
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 3: drinking as much. I think he feels that this is

651
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 3: adequate to fix the relationship. Final thoughts, Angie.

652
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 2: We're just we're getting there. Yeah, glad or even who

653
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: you found all of these reasons. This builds it up.

654
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 2: It's finally giving that pushon.

655
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: I'm so happy he cheated so much, so much, grouse.

656
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

657
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 3: Otherwise we do not talk much at all. I just

658
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 3: try to focus on myself. His parents seem to be

659
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 3: on to me. I am trying my best to pretend

660
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 3: like everything is okay, even though I am doing a

661
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 3: worse job lately. I am applying for jobs and should

662
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 3: be ready to move in with family back home in

663
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 3: a month or so. I plan to have family come

664
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 3: down and help me load up and then tell him

665
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: when I am ready to go. If anyone has any

666
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 3: advice on how I can have this conversation with him,

667
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: that is what I am most scared of, since he

668
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 3: has downplayed everything and will continue to do so. This

669
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 3: is so hard and I feel so isolated. But I

670
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 3: feel like I am making the right choice and that

671
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 3: is the end of that story.

672
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam.

673
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

674
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 5: minutes bads from our sponsors. My mother abandoned me for

675
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 5: years and now she wants me back.

676
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: Ooh, too little, too late.

677
00:32:59,360 --> 00:32:59,719
Speaker 3: Mom.

678
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 5: My mom fifty two female and dad fifty four male,

679
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 5: had a pretty messy divorce when I seventeen female was

680
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 5: about six. My mom had cheated and my dad was

681
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 5: really upset because he loved her. After the divorce, my

682
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 5: mom basically gave up all custody of me. She had

683
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 5: visitation rights but never used them and never tried to

684
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 5: contact me, despite my dad keeping an open line of communication.

685
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from user Alternative d Or

686
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 5: eighty one ninety eight, And if you want to submit

687
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 5: your own stories, go.

688
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: To the our slashing Okay story.

689
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 2: I'm Subbert and I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and.

690
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 5: We're already give you a little bit of good of

691
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 5: bass goofley, But we don't have all the answers.

692
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: We're just a couple. We're just gonna be a big

693
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: bunch of goofball.

694
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 5: So if you would do anything differently, why don't you

695
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 5: just let us know in the comments. My dad met

696
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 5: Donna fifty two female when I was seven, I noticed

697
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 5: him paying more attention to his appearance and looking much happier.

698
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 5: I officially met Donna like two months before turning eight.

699
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 5: I did not really like her at first because the

700
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 5: wounds from my mom were still fresh, but she was

701
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 5: very patient with me. She let me know right away

702
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 5: that she would not try to take my mother's role

703
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 5: and would understand my distance as long as I was polite,

704
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 5: and I was.

705
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: Then they announced that they would get married when I

706
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 1: was eight.

707
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 5: Donna let me be a part of her wedding, and

708
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 5: I did not throw a fit or anything because my

709
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 5: dad was happy. Not long after their honeymoon, Donna was expecting.

710
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 5: What This is where I think our relationships started to change.

711
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 5: She let me be a part of her pregnancy the

712
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 5: whole way. She asked me for ideas on the nursery, paint, colors, toys.

713
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 5: She even wanted me to help name my future half sibling.

714
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 5: I started getting much closer to her, and it really

715
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 5: helped me cope with my mom's absence. Donna ended up

716
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 5: having triplet boys, and she even took.

717
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 1: One of my name ideas for one of my brothers.

718
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 5: Despite what some people think of their half siblings, Donna's

719
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 5: and my dad's kids really felt like they were my brothers.

720
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: She didn't even let her parents see the.

721
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 5: Triplets before I did. The boys are nine now, and

722
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 5: I love them with every fiber of my being. They

723
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 5: are all so cute and sweet with their own personalities.

724
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 5: Donna and I are really close now, and I even

725
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 5: asked if I could call her mom when I was fourteen.

726
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 5: This is where everything goes downhill. When I turned fifteen,

727
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 5: my mom came back into the picture. She suddenly wanted

728
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 5: to see me and actually took my dad to court

729
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 5: to get custody.

730
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 1: For some reason.

731
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 5: The judge took pity on her and gave her fifty

732
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 5: to fifty custody. My mom had remarried to Jim and

733
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 5: they also have four kids together, two of which are

734
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,760
Speaker 5: from Jim's previous marriage. I guess my mom thought everything

735
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 5: would be okay with us, but let's.

736
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: Just say we do not get along.

737
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 5: I'll admit I did act like a witch sometimes at

738
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 5: her house. Jim also thought that I should treat him

739
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 5: like a father, which did not go over well. And

740
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 5: they all thought that I would treat my half siblings

741
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 5: like actual siblings, and I do not. I just don't

742
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 5: feel the same way about them as I do the triplets, and.

743
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: Actually I know why. They're all huge brats.

744
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 5: They cry constantly, even more than the triplets did as babies,

745
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 5: and they're asking always to play with me, even when

746
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 5: I have school, where Mom gets mad at me if

747
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 5: I don't want to, so I always just stay in

748
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 5: my room, which is the basement when I am there

749
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 5: now under the issue. I was at my mom's house

750
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 5: two weeks ago for the weekend and was about to

751
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 5: go back to my dad's. My dad came to pick

752
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 5: me up with one of the triplets because he had

753
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 5: a stomach ache. I had taken him out of his

754
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 5: booster seat and was playing with him a little before

755
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,959
Speaker 5: I got into the car. Apparently one of my half

756
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 5: sisters saw that and was inconsolable to my mom. She

757
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 5: called me a couple hours later to yell at me

758
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 5: about it.

759
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: She basically said, do you not love your siblings too?

760
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 5: And I told her, no, I do not love the

761
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 5: siblings that you have with your new husband, the kids

762
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,240
Speaker 5: that you have with your new husband after you abandoned

763
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 5: me my entire life.

764
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: No, I don't. I don't really care for them.

765
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 2: This is not one of those situations where it's like, oh,

766
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 2: in your family, you kind of love them. It's like, well,

767
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 2: your family, so you gotta not like leave.

768
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 5: Maybe if you were in my family, you would have

769
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 5: been here instead of just suing my father for custody

770
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 5: when I was fifteen. She hung up after saying that

771
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 5: she and I would talk about it next time I

772
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 5: was there. I was there last weekend and she and

773
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 5: Jim were yelling at me about it. She asked me

774
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 5: again if I loved her kids and Jim, and I

775
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 5: told her no, they are annoying and I do not

776
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 5: care for them. She started crying and asked if I

777
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 5: loved her, and I told her I don't really and.

778
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 1: Said, why would I care about you?

779
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 5: You left me for seven years before you decided you

780
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 5: wanted a relationship. I'm pretty sure you only wanted me

781
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 5: back so you didn't have to pay child support for me.

782
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 5: I asked my dad about that, and he said my

783
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 5: mom was told to pay a couple hundred.

784
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: After that line, there was more screaming and crying, so

785
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: I just went back to my dad's house.

786
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 5: My mom and Jim have been crying to me since.

787
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 5: So am I the a hole for telling my mom

788
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 5: why I don't like her and her kids. If you

789
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 5: don't like your kids not really feeling like they have

790
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 5: a connection to you, don't abandon them for almost a decade, exactly.

791
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 2: And I mean, if you don't want to hear that

792
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 2: your kids don't love you, don't ask them if they

793
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 2: love you. You're opening yourself up to all the answers.

794
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 2: I don't know what you expected.

795
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 5: You're crying to a teenager, being like, oh, but you're

796
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 5: not giving me the response I won.

797
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 2: That's not right. I'm your mom, Yeah, exactly.

798
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: And this man is your fuck. I mean he's not.

799
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 1: He's Jim. He's just Jim, but should be your dad.

800
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you lost all rights to that argument.

801
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 5: Comment from Jemethis says, not the ahole, and you're seventeen.

802
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,800
Speaker 5: A court can't force you to see her, so stop going.

803
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 5: Opie replies, I think I will at this point. I

804
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 5: was just going because my dad and Donna want me

805
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 5: to have a relationship with her. Comment to replies, sit

806
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,919
Speaker 5: them down and explain how you feel. They probably thought

807
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 5: it was right for you to at least try. But

808
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 5: Donna slash Mom was amazing to you, and you knew

809
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,760
Speaker 5: your brothers from conception. You all built a family together

810
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 5: your bio mom. You had just been picked up and

811
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 5: expected to be dropped into a ready made family. It

812
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 5: does not work like that, Opie says, I probably will.

813
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 5: They're out right now taking my brother to the doctors,

814
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 5: but I'll try to talk to them as soon as

815
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 5: they get the chance to. Another comment says, you're not

816
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 5: the a hole, but I'm so happy your dad was

817
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 5: a good dad and Donna was a step mom that

818
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 5: never overstepped, but also maybe did you a part of

819
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 5: her family. I'm happy for you that you have them

820
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 5: and your siblings. Oh P says they really are the

821
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 5: best parents. Some of my extended family was mad that

822
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 5: he moved on so quickly, but I know he really

823
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 5: needed someone in that dark time. Plus I have the

824
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 5: best brothers in the world and a new mom. Another

825
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 5: comment says, not the ahole. Expecting a child you abandoned

826
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 5: to just suddenly start loving you like nothing happened is

827
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 5: absurd enough. Expecting you to treat a stranger you met

828
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 5: at fifteen years old as a father figure is beyond laughable.

829
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 5: Oh P says, The funny thing is is she tried

830
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 5: those exact same words. When she was talking about Donna,

831
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 5: she said that I couldn't love her so much because

832
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 5: she's just a stranger and I'm your mother. Sorry, mom,

833
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 5: but I've literally known Donna longer than I've known you.

834
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 1: Update.

835
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 5: I got to call a couple minutes ago from my mom.

836
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 5: She basically said she's going to go to court again

837
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 5: to try and fight my dad for full custody of me. Like, sure,

838
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 5: the courts are going to give you full custody of

839
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 5: your seventeen year old daughter that you did not see

840
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 5: for about nine years. I'm seriously debating on just not

841
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 5: going again for the weekend. I'll talk to my dad

842
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 5: about stopping visitation, but one commenter brought up how it

843
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 5: might be a little risky, so I'll ask if we

844
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 5: could talk to a lawyer about it. I also have

845
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 5: not had a chance to talk with my dad and

846
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 5: Donna about not going over there.

847
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 1: I don't understand.

848
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 5: I don't think if you show up to the court

849
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 5: during this process and go I don't want to go

850
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,399
Speaker 5: to my mom's I don't want anything to do with them.

851
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: I don't think the court would go well. You don't

852
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: get a say in that, Missy.

853
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 2: Time to go to your mom's house, and if you

854
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: don't go, you're gonna be police escorted.

855
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 5: My dad is also a child of divorce, but in

856
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 5: his case, his mom never let him have a relationship

857
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 5: with his father after the divorce. I think that's why

858
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 5: he wants me and my mom to talk. I'll talk

859
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,280
Speaker 5: to them about this when I have a chance.

860
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: We got a little, but we got another update. You

861
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 1: don't like your mom's she abandoned you for nine years.

862
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 5: She's definitely not going about it the right way. She's saying,

863
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 5: I'm gonna get full cussy of you. She's literally acting

864
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:51,959
Speaker 5: like a little petulant child, yeah, over her own abandonment

865
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 5: of you.

866
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 1: She's acting like you ran away from home for nine years,

867
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 1: exactly like that's not what happened. Update number two. I

868
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: kind of forgot about this and now I'm prepping for college.

869
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: An update on mom.

870
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 5: Of course, nothing happened with the lawyer junk, and I

871
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 5: honestly don't know what she expected. But I decided that

872
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 5: I was going to stop visitation. As much as I

873
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,760
Speaker 5: wish my relationship with her worked out, I just needed

874
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 5: to understand that despite her having me, she was never

875
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 5: really my mom, But that does not matter anymore. I

876
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 5: got Donna dad, and that is all that matters to me. Also,

877
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 5: I'm eighteen now, so she can't really enforce it. And

878
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,479
Speaker 5: I know some people said to block her, but I

879
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 5: did not have to because she blocked me. I still

880
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 5: did block her back, just to make sure. So this

881
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 5: is the end with my mom and step family and

882
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 5: net is the end of that story.

883
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: Well screw that, mom.

884
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, what a.

885
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 2: Little loser lady loser.

886
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,240
Speaker 4: I say that you're all guilty with loser lady offenses.

887
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 1: We're gonna send you over at a losing lady island. Yes,

888
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 1: I live with who have who have a played? Scott O'Hara,

889
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: who have a wee? U saying playing that? I don't know?

890
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,799
Speaker 4: Well ya hey, but who is who is to give

891
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 4: credit to for the uh?

892
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 1: I've got it. I've got it right now? What is it?

893
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 2: The Atlantic trans Transatlantic accent? Thanks Carly. I saw like

894
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 2: a video of it the other day, meaning like a

895
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: month ago.

896
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,240
Speaker 1: It was canea, Oh it was yeah, Cabinet.

897
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 2: BA Cavaneta's me. I think that was your first guest. Yeah,

898
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 2: and that's the end of this story.

899
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 1: We're gonna go on to the next one.

900
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,720
Speaker 2: My family disrespected my wife. Now she might leave.

901
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 3: You should go with her.

902
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 2: My wife is the most amazing person I've ever met.

903
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 2: We've been together for fifteen years and married for eight.

904
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 2: She's kind, warm, nurturing, and comes from a large family

905
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 2: that's got its quirks, but we all get along well.

906
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from it no Application fourteen

907
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 2: fifty nine And if you want to submit your own stories,

908
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime. Supredit and I'm Angie.

909
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice Googly.

910
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

911
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 2: what we would do in the situation, So let us

912
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. My parents

913
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 2: love her, and so does my middle brother and his wife.

914
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 2: My extended family does too, But starting a couple of

915
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 2: years ago, my wife began having tension with my youngest

916
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 2: brother and his wife, and it's gotten to a breaking point.

917
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 2: I'm the oldest of three brothers. We're all in our

918
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 2: thirties and all married. My youngest brother had a rough

919
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 2: go of life. He got into trouble a lot as

920
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 2: a kid and got tossed out of more than one school.

921
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: Oh wow, it's been hard for him to hold down

922
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 2: a job, but he's been trying to make a better

923
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 2: life for himself for some time. We were all surprised

924
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 2: and happy when a very successful woman took a liking

925
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 2: to him, and they are now married with a daughter.

926
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 2: From what I can gather, the tension started escalating and

927
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 2: my parents invited all of us to stay at their

928
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 2: beach house for a few weeks. My youngest brother's wife

929
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: was not happy with his childhood room because there was

930
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: no tub in the bathroom for their daughter, who was

931
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 2: one at the time. She was not comfortable using a

932
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 2: travel tub that my middle brother's wife used for their

933
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 2: baby and two year old son. My mom told me

934
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,359
Speaker 2: and my wife to switch rooms with my youngest brother

935
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 2: because my childhood room is the only one with the

936
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: tub in the bathroom. My wife was not happy, mostly

937
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 2: because we had purchased a special bed for my room.

938
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,400
Speaker 2: She's six foot and I'm six fours, so we need

939
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 2: a longer bed, and my brother's room has low angled

940
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 2: ceilings and separate twin beds. I wasn't particularly happy about

941
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 2: it either. We hit our heads and had back pain

942
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: from the short beds. Admittedly, it wasn't great. Apparently, one night,

943
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 2: when my wife tried to make a joke about missing

944
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 2: my room because of our feet hanging off the twin beds,

945
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 2: my youngest brother's wife said something along the lines of, well,

946
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 2: you don't have kids, so you don't understand why we

947
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:24,399
Speaker 2: need the tub?

948
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 3: Can you not take the one year old to somebody

949
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: else's room? And yeah, the tub? I feel like, are

950
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: they going to really care that a one year old

951
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 3: was bathed in their tub?

952
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: Yeah?

953
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, well, sorry, you don't understand because you're short.

954
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 3: Right, the bath still exists.

955
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 2: I'm tall, Yeah, exactly, Like we both have separate problems,

956
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 2: can't we understand both. I remember my wife being upset

957
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: about the comment at the time, but I guess I

958
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 2: didn't realize how upsetting it was to her. We'd agreed

959
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,760
Speaker 2: before we were married that we both wanted to maximize

960
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 2: our savings and investments so that when the time came

961
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 2: to have kids, she could either scale her work hours

962
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: dramatically or quit altogether. And we want to comfortably be

963
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 2: able to afford a nanny. We agreed upon a number

964
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: we wanted to hit, and we're nearly there. In our

965
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 2: last progress conversation, we agreed next year is the year

966
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: to start trying, and.

967
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,320
Speaker 4: As far as I could tell, we were both excited

968
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 4: about it.

969
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 2: But I guess in the meantime, my brother and his

970
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 2: wife have been making a lot of mean comments to

971
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 2: my wife about how she has no value as a

972
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 2: woman because she is not a mone god. I'm sorry,

973
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 2: do we live in gone with the wind? What? What

974
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 2: is going on here? You have no value as a

975
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,399
Speaker 2: woman because you are not a.

976
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,479
Speaker 3: Sane I'd be like, cool, get out of the tall bed.

977
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so you're goal. You're literally saying that all

978
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,439
Speaker 2: you can do as a woman, like all you have

979
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,959
Speaker 2: provided to this world is like kids. It's like, yeah,

980
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 2: that's that's pretty cool. But yeah, I know it's not

981
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 2: like simple, but it's like so that you.

982
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 3: Are than that though to you as a human.

983
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally, it's like, okay, go and live in the

984
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,879
Speaker 2: Handmaid's Tale of if you'd like, come on. I think

985
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: my wife is being her usual gracious self and letting

986
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 2: the comments roll off her back for a while. That

987
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 2: changed last summer, when my brother and his family stayed

988
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 2: in our summer rental with us for a week. We

989
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 2: had a party one evening, and some friends saw my

990
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 2: wasted brother rock the deck railing until it broke. My

991
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 2: wife and I had to pay for the repairs, and

992
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 2: in her unhappiness about the situation, everything he and his

993
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 2: wife had said to her came out. All kinds of

994
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 2: things about how my wife is a least liked wife

995
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 2: in the family, which is not true. She's my dad's

996
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 2: favorite of all of us, boys included, for sure, and

997
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 2: how embarrassed she must feel to not have kids yet

998
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 2: her age. She's thirty four. I didn't hear any of

999
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: this directly, but was able to corroborate most of it

1000
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 2: from my friends and my middle brother and his wife.

1001
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 2: I know my youngest brother can be an insecure wiener

1002
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: in his worst moments, but I didn't realize his wife

1003
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,360
Speaker 2: was in on it too. His wife isn't a super

1004
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 2: warm person in my experience, but I thought we all

1005
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 2: got along. What's really sad is that my wife and

1006
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 2: my brother seemingly got along great for years. She and

1007
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,439
Speaker 2: I drove him to college drop off together one year,

1008
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 2: and the three of us had such a blast. I'm

1009
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,720
Speaker 2: not sure what changed after the summer visit. My wife

1010
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 2: had enough she no longer wanted to hang out with

1011
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 2: my youngest bro or his wife except for family gathering.

1012
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 2: My wife remains very supportive of me seeing them. My

1013
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 2: dad was estranged from one of his brothers until that

1014
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 2: brother passed away, and I really don't want that to

1015
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,399
Speaker 2: happen with my little brother. So I see my brother

1016
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 2: and his wife on my own or with my middle

1017
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 2: brother and his wife, mostly sometimes with my parents. Last year,

1018
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 2: we bought a house and invited everyone to spend Christmas

1019
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 2: with us. My youngest brother and his wife initially declined,

1020
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 2: so we invited friends to take that room. Then they

1021
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 2: changed their minds the week of Christmas too, yes, so

1022
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 2: we had to ask our friends if they would stay

1023
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 2: in a hotel instead that we would pay for.

1024
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,319
Speaker 3: No. No, sorry, those rooms are actually already taken, but

1025
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:48,800
Speaker 3: there was a pretty good hotel.

1026
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,280
Speaker 2: Sorry, we're fully booked.

1027
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:51,280
Speaker 3: We're so booked.

1028
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 2: We're so booked.

1029
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 4: You're either gonna have to like pay us or something.

1030
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 3: Do you want to sleep in the tub? I heard that, Yeah,

1031
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 3: I heard that they're pretty cool.

1032
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 2: The friends decided not to come, which was fine until

1033
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 2: Christmas Eve morning, when my brother and his wife changed

1034
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 2: back to no. Oh, my God, their daughter was sick.

1035
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,840
Speaker 2: My wife was understandably upset after that. She told me

1036
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 2: that she wanted a nice long break from having to

1037
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,919
Speaker 2: interact with them at all. A couple of weeks ago,

1038
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 2: my mom told me that my youngest brother's wife got

1039
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 2: a job offer in the UK, where she's from originally,

1040
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 2: and that they are going to move there at the

1041
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 2: end of the year. So my mom really wants to

1042
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 2: have this Christmas at their beach house with all of

1043
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 2: us before the move. My mom is somewhat aware of

1044
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,879
Speaker 2: the tension, but I think, like all of us, she's

1045
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 2: so happy that my brother managed to straighten himself out

1046
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 2: enough to attract a bread winning wife and start a

1047
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,880
Speaker 2: family that he could do no wrong in her eyes.

1048
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 2: When I told my wife about the Christmas invite, she

1049
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 2: got really upset, crying, visibly distressed like I've never seen her.

1050
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 2: We've always spent Christmas with my family, but I agreed

1051
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 2: that we could do something else. When I called Mom

1052
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: to tell her, she asked if i'd fly out just

1053
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,240
Speaker 2: for Christmas. Eve so low. When I ran that idea

1054
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 2: by my wife, we got into a huge fight like

1055
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: we've never had before. We rarely fight. It all She

1056
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,479
Speaker 2: was already mad because she is going on a girl's

1057
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 2: trip next month for a week, and I told her

1058
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 2: that I was thinking of my youngest brother and his

1059
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 2: family to visit me at our summer rental while she's away.

1060
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 2: That did not sit well with her either. Basically, my

1061
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 2: wife said that she doesn't feel like I have her back,

1062
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 2: which is not true. I've spoken to my brother about

1063
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 2: his unacceptable treatment of my wife, and if I see

1064
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 2: him or his wife insult my wife in front of me,

1065
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 2: I tell them to knock it off immediately. I know

1066
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 2: my parents have spoken with them as well, probably more

1067
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 2: from a peacemaking perspective. My wife is normally a very calm,

1068
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: level headed person, but she gets agitated now whenever my

1069
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 2: family comes up. I know my brother and his wife

1070
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 2: are the issue. Everyone I know loves my wife. While

1071
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 2: my brother has struggled with people periodically. He tries his

1072
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 2: best and is always trying to get better, but I

1073
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 2: admit he falls short a lot. When I suggested to

1074
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 2: my wife that the mean comments would stop once we

1075
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 2: start our family, she blew up at me again. I've

1076
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: asked my wife if she wants to start trying for

1077
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 2: children now, and she says no, she'd rather stick to

1078
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 2: our financial plan. Oh wow, this is changing things big time.

1079
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 3: Because of a bathtub and some twin bit dude.

1080
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 2: I asked her if she'd be happier if I was

1081
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,919
Speaker 2: talking to my brother, and she says no, she gets

1082
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,479
Speaker 2: how important the relationship is to me. I'm worried because

1083
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 2: in her last conversation about Christmas, my wife said something

1084
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 2: that she's never said before. She said maybe she should

1085
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 2: leave my family because she knows how important they are

1086
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 2: to me, and she doesn't want to cause any problems

1087
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:23,280
Speaker 2: between me and my brother. There's more to this story,

1088
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 2: but that's that must be so hard for OPI to hear. Yeah,

1089
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 2: I'm sure because it's yeah, because she's not like doing

1090
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,760
Speaker 2: it maliciously obviously, like she's not like, oh my gosh,

1091
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 2: you're not standing up for me, you need to do better,

1092
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 2: like I'm leaving you. It's just she's just feeling so guilty.

1093
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 3: And this is just like I feel so bad that

1094
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 3: she feels guilty, because it's like she feels guilty because

1095
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 3: she wanted a normal bed, treated right nicely, and to

1096
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,359
Speaker 3: not be told that she's like not worthy because she's

1097
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,240
Speaker 3: not a mother.

1098
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 2: Like yeah, exactly. It's like there's so many things, and

1099
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 2: it's like she's so nice because she understands that she

1100
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 2: can't tell him what to do, right, And I think

1101
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 2: that's just that's just so heavy on her. Obviously, she

1102
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 2: didn't say divorce outright, but I know that that's what

1103
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,799
Speaker 2: she meant. We smoothed things out for the time being,

1104
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 2: but I know this is not over. I know I

1105
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 2: need to talk to my family about this more strongly,

1106
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 2: but I truly do not want to cut them off.

1107
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 2: I also don't want to put my parents in and

1108
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 2: choose us or them situation, because I have a feeling

1109
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 2: that they choose their granddaughter. Has anyone been in a

1110
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 2: similar spot and worked it out? I can't be the

1111
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 2: only one with a mouthy, insecure sibling, can I? And

1112
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 2: that's the end of that stuff? Wow, dude, Well, personally, no,

1113
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:33,760
Speaker 2: I've not been in that situation.

1114
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 3: I don't have siblings.

1115
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,359
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, it's it's hard because it's like

1116
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 2: the only thing I can suggest is just more conversation,

1117
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 2: but it seems like they've they've had so much conversation already,

1118
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, so it's like, obviously that's not working.

1119
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 3: But maybe I like, maybe not cutting full contact, but

1120
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 3: some slight distance just to like feel and and his

1121
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 3: wife like gain back like her own self again a

1122
00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 3: little bit.

1123
00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1124
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:03,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder how heated his conversations with the family guy.

1125
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:05,879
Speaker 2: I don't know if we mentioned he did. Those conversations

1126
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 2: got already. But wonder if there's like a way to

1127
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 2: talk again, but just have a more of like a

1128
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 2: heart to heart kind of thing, which is like guys like,

1129
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:15,800
Speaker 2: let's like, what do you actually through about her? Like,

1130
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 2: let's have a calm conversation. And that's the end of

1131
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 2: this story. We're going on to the next one.

1132
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story.

1133
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,240
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors.

1134
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 6: My sister tried to ruin my wedding and now she

1135
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 6: pretends nothing happened.

1136
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 1: You can't get away with that.

1137
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 6: My wedding was last December twenty twenty four. I have

1138
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 6: been with my now husband for ten years. I am

1139
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 6: thirty one female and my husband is thirty three male.

1140
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 6: We planned the wedding for just under a year and

1141
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 6: got married at our workplace. By the way, this comes

1142
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 6: from Awkward Figures seventy nine to eighty and if you

1143
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 6: want to spit your own stories, go to the r

1144
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 6: slash Okay story time severed it.

1145
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie.

1146
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 6: I'm We're here to give good advice, goofily, but we

1147
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,360
Speaker 6: don't have all the answers.

1148
00:52:58,640 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 3: We only know what do we do.

1149
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:01,720
Speaker 6: So let us know what you would do in the commons.

1150
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 6: It was a beautiful barn wedding with accommodation about twelve

1151
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 6: rooms and separate house for the bridal party and glamping

1152
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 6: pod accommodation that could be booked separately. It was a

1153
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 6: small wedding with less than fifty people through the day,

1154
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 6: mainly family, with a handful of work friends and close friends.

1155
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:21,760
Speaker 6: We only had about five kids and they were immediate

1156
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 6: family and in the wedding party. It was a DIY wedding,

1157
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 6: lots of stress, mainly on me for decor and organizing

1158
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,880
Speaker 6: vendors while I'm studying for a degree.

1159
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 1: I was so.

1160
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 6: Excited important info. My husband and I work at the

1161
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 6: wedding venue, so obviously we know the rules inside and out.

1162
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 2: Dogs are allowed.

1163
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 6: But we made it very clear that only our dog

1164
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 6: and my dad's dog, who is ten years old and

1165
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 6: who I bought for my dad when I still lived

1166
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 6: at home, were allowed to come. I said this as

1167
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 6: soon as we booked the venue. Because I have two

1168
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 6: sisters and one brother, and my husband has a sister.

1169
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,440
Speaker 6: Out of them, all three of our siblings have dogs.

1170
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:00,320
Speaker 6: My sister Liz and my husband's sister Sarah both asked

1171
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 6: to bring their dogs. I said sorry, but I did

1172
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 6: not want the stress of five dogs running around my

1173
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 6: big day. It would be too chaotic, and I did

1174
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 6: not want to be worrying about my dog. He's rubbish

1175
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 6: with other dogs at times. He's been to different trainers,

1176
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 6: but nothing has really worked. He either loves them or

1177
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 6: hates them. Honestly, I just didn't want the stress. And

1178
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,879
Speaker 6: I also had a surprise plan for me, which could

1179
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 6: become an issue if there were other dogs around. Everyone

1180
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 6: seems to be fine with this and had organized dog sitters,

1181
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 6: or so I thought. Five days before the wedding, Liz

1182
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 6: messages me asking if she can bring her dogs. Tried

1183
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 6: to be very forceful with her opinions and pushed her

1184
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 6: thoughts about my traditional wedding it was not traditional. At

1185
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 6: one point, she tried to supply the buffet as a

1186
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 6: wedding gift, and thank goodness, I had secretly booked and

1187
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 6: paid for the Indian buffet myself because she had her

1188
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 6: asked me, and I knew she would have tried to

1189
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 6: control even that. She basically told me that if her

1190
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 6: dog cannot come, then our family cannot come because she

1191
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:58,720
Speaker 6: cannot afford a dog sitter.

1192
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,399
Speaker 2: How does that work? Do you just have to stay

1193
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 2: home all the time? Then are you never allowed to

1194
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 2: go anywhere ever?

1195
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,479
Speaker 6: She also said she would leave him in the room

1196
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 6: and walk him throughout the day. I said no. I

1197
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 6: did speak to my husband, and he is very kind

1198
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 6: and caring and laid back, but he put his foot

1199
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 6: down and said.

1200
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:13,879
Speaker 1: No as well.

1201
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 6: Y'all had a lot of time to figure that out.

1202
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:20,240
Speaker 6: Gotta figure it out, dude. Liz actually had her brother

1203
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 6: in law's brother lined up to let the dog out

1204
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 6: and feed him, but she didn't want to leave him overnight,

1205
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 6: which is fair. I don't think that you should leave

1206
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 6: a dog alone overnight, not a cat. Cats are much

1207
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 6: more independent. I came up with many solutions. She does

1208
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 6: not drink, so she could leave after the ceremony. She

1209
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 6: still had not paid for her room. I had covered

1210
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 6: it to hold the room. She then said none of

1211
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 6: her kids wanted to come either if she could not come,

1212
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 6: and I knew that wasn't true because her youngest was

1213
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 6: a flower girl and so excited the girls and asked

1214
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 6: to come with her grant. Day before the wedding, I

1215
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 6: was scrambling to set up the barn and do a

1216
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 6: barn and do run throughs. My brother picked up the girls.

1217
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 6: The oldest never came, which is fine, because what teenager

1218
00:55:59,560 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 6: wants to come.

1219
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 2: I'm alone.

1220
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 6: Everyone arrived, my husband's family, my family from New Zealand

1221
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,759
Speaker 6: and England, and then Liz texts saying her husband needs

1222
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,359
Speaker 6: to drop off stuff for the girls. I said yes,

1223
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,359
Speaker 6: and I asked if she was sure she didn't want

1224
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 6: to come because I was doing the seating plan. She

1225
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 6: still said no. An hour goes by and I have

1226
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 6: been working NonStop, and who walks in Liz with the

1227
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 6: dog off the lead running around. She ends up arguing

1228
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 6: with Aunties. I see my dad's dog off the lead too,

1229
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 6: and I run out to grab her and Liz shouts

1230
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 6: at me. I go back inside because I'm trying to

1231
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 6: talk to my humanist person marrying me. Liz does not

1232
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 6: come speak to me or apologize for anything.

1233
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 3: She said.

1234
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,840
Speaker 6: She called me a selfish brat. Said, I am pathetic

1235
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 6: that I do not understand how the world works.

1236
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:48,320
Speaker 4: She was cruel.

1237
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 6: I am the youngest by eight years. She is the

1238
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 6: middle sister, and her oldest sister is eleven years older

1239
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 6: than me. I have always been responsible. I looked after

1240
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:00,160
Speaker 6: all her kids and my oldest sister's kids are the

1241
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 6: years when I was a teen, Whenever I was told to,

1242
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,720
Speaker 6: I'm always the one who loans the money or shows

1243
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 6: up when they need something.

1244
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 2: Always.

1245
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,400
Speaker 6: I saw my dad's dog off the lead, which should

1246
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 6: not happen. Dogs should always be on a lead at

1247
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 6: my workplace, and I knew she only came to cause

1248
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 6: true reuble. I hid and cried because I couldn't handle

1249
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 6: the atmosphere and the gas lighting.

1250
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 3: Is this the day of your wedding?

1251
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 2: I believe it is. Oh my goodness.

1252
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 6: My brother saw me crying and heard Liz attacking his partner,

1253
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 6: and he completely lost it on Liz. He told her

1254
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:35,440
Speaker 6: to leave and reminded her she made her decision. He

1255
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 6: and his partner helped me so much, sat with me,

1256
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 6: helped me make a plan.

1257
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 2: Morning of the.

1258
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 6: Wedding, I was calm. I walked down the aisle to

1259
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 6: Young and Beautiful by Lonna del Rey, and it was perfect.

1260
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 6: After the ceremony, we did photos and my best man

1261
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 6: and dad disappeared with the dogs. And then a baby

1262
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,400
Speaker 6: Highland cow appeared. Oh my gosh, are you guys in

1263
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 6: like Scotland?

1264
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 2: Lucky?

1265
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 6: What are you Scotland right now?

1266
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: Oh?

1267
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 2: Lucky? I love them.

1268
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 6: I got to feed it and cuddle it and take pictures.

1269
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 6: During dinner, I noticed we were missing four people because

1270
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 6: Liz took her daughter and her husband did not stay either.

1271
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 6: My grandpa canceled the night before because he was unwell,

1272
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 6: which cannot be helped. Later I found out Liz had

1273
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 6: been messaging my older sister asking what dress to wear

1274
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 6: to my wedding, and sent pictures of a dress basically

1275
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 6: identical to my bride'smaid dresses. My older sister showed up

1276
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 6: my brother and he had words. I think if she

1277
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,480
Speaker 6: had come, she would have tried to cause a scene.

1278
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,840
Speaker 6: There is a little bit left to the story. Any

1279
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 6: final thoughts.

1280
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 2: I feel like we should just be like yo, Liz.

1281
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess the way yo Liz, So we'd

1282
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: be like yo Liz. What's the freaking deal, Liz girl,

1283
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 2: If you don't want to be at my wedding and

1284
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 2: are at my wedding acting like this and bring me

1285
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 2: my wedding and stuff, maybe you shouldn't be at my wedding.

1286
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 2: I wanted you there, but then he started acting crazy.

1287
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't like you. I don't like your dog. Yeah,

1288
00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 6: I don't like your dress. Well I do like your dress,

1289
00:58:59,400 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 6: but only in my bread.

1290
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly, And that's it by liz Bie Liss.

1291
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: Gonna be really weird for you to be a bridesmaid

1292
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 2: to us and then sitting in the crowd.

1293
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 6: Yeah the good you feel pretty silly?

1294
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 2: Fold your king?

1295
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 6: Should I have just given in? Now a year later,

1296
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 6: she has not apologized and our relationship is basically gone.

1297
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 6: She messages me like nothing happened, but I don't trust her.

1298
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 6: I was hurt. I always just did as I was

1299
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 6: told and never stood up for myself. Don't know if

1300
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 6: I'll ever get over it. One common asks as she

1301
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 6: wanted to be the center of attention, like when you

1302
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 6: guys were kids and growing up, and Opie says, she's

1303
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 6: eight years older, so I never really noticed it before.

1304
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 6: When I became a teen, she had my nephew, and

1305
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 6: I looked after him a lot. Then she gained a

1306
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 6: lot of weight. She's always been it's her way or

1307
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 6: no way, if that makes sense. I always thought she

1308
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 6: was bipolar because she would just scream at me to

1309
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 6: do stuff, and I was very sensitive, so I would

1310
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 6: cry and that would piss her off more. She recently

1311
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 6: had a gastric bypass than mummy makeover, and after that

1312
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,560
Speaker 6: she started on me about my weight and appearance. But

1313
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 6: the woman hasn't changed her lifestyle, just can't eat much

1314
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 6: and now is on a weight loss diet. She and

1315
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 6: my mom came to my dress fitting and.

1316
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:03,080
Speaker 1: It was horrible.

1317
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 3: That dressed is nothing for you. You can see all your

1318
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 3: lumps and bumps.

1319
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 6: My best friend knew what they were like, but even

1320
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 6: she was shocked and angry. I have distance myself and

1321
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 6: don't go out of my way to speak to her.

1322
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 6: But my dad got upset about how the family is

1323
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,200
Speaker 6: breaking apart. So I'm civil and always nice, and Opie

1324
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 6: says she's got main character syndrome. Not sure why I

1325
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 6: struggle with enforcing boundaries. They always make me feel like

1326
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 6: a small child again, even though I'm thirty one, Not

1327
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 6: gonna lie. She's done so much shady stuff to me

1328
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 6: and other family members. I wouldn't be surprised if she

1329
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 6: is self absorbed, but who knows what's going on inside

1330
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:40,480
Speaker 6: her brain? And that is the end of that story.

1331
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean like she wrecked.

1332
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 6: That relationship and it sucks, but not much that you

1333
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 6: can do.

1334
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's very unfortunate that she's just like an

1335
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:53,200
Speaker 2: awful person, sucks, so insecure in taking her insecurities out

1336
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 2: on you.