Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, guys, it's your girl, am mad at
Speaker 1: la Nega as usual, yell starving. You already know the
Speaker 1: routine you're listening to exactly a mode of production of
Speaker 1: my heart. Thank you so much for tuning in as
Speaker 1: you dual every Thursday. You guys know that I'm here.
Speaker 1: I have been teasing everyone on my social media platform
Speaker 1: at exactly a mata, just giving you guys a little
Speaker 1: heads up of what the topics will be. So, something
Speaker 1: that was very controversial was something that I posted on Instagram.
Speaker 1: And if you follow me at l N you'll get it.
Speaker 1: You'll get to see me post every so often things
Speaker 1: that I find controversial and interesting. But before I get
Speaker 1: to that, subscribe. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and share
Speaker 1: this podcast with all your friends and family. Leave a comment,
Speaker 1: good or bad, new Porta. I'll be right there to
Speaker 1: read it. And if I have to curse your ass out,
Speaker 1: I'll do that too. And if I have to show
Speaker 1: you some love, I'll do that too. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much for hearing me talk shit every Thursday. That's
Speaker 1: why today I wanted to talk about something, a song
Speaker 1: and a zone. I felt it in my heart. I
Speaker 1: felt it in my spirit. I was on the Instagram
Speaker 1: or whatever whatever, and don't say I saw this girl
Speaker 1: that posted something. I was like, oh my god, let
Speaker 1: me repost and put on my page. And it was
Speaker 1: this pregnant girl, or rather better, this pregnant woman on
Speaker 1: her knee proposing to a man. And don't say it
Speaker 1: was a part of me. Obviously, now that you know
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, I was like, oh my god, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I would ever even without me being pregnant.
Speaker 1: But okay, I don't know if I would ever be
Speaker 1: in a situation where I'm like, oh my god, you're
Speaker 1: the love of my life with a lot of what whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna, you know, get my fat ass on
Speaker 1: this knee, and first of all, I have to go
Speaker 1: to the store. You're gone, and I'm gonna spend my money.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna spend my money on you whatever, if you're
Speaker 1: a good man and you deserve it. I don't have
Speaker 1: I'm not stingy. I'll spend the money, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get on one knee and I'm gonna be like the
Speaker 1: lot of my life whatever whatever. Since you haven't asked
Speaker 1: me to marry you then let me ask you, okay,
Speaker 1: like better. At the same time, then the other feminist
Speaker 1: side of me is like, that's fucking right, bitch, take
Speaker 1: control of the situation. And that's your man and you
Speaker 1: want to secure that. And he hasn't told you how
Speaker 1: he felt about you. Marry his assmy that and I said,
Speaker 1: we're making it happen. I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 1: That's say your minds, you belong to me. Your mother
Speaker 1: gave birth to you so that I could have you.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it's like, well they really don't.
Speaker 1: They don't. But if he hasn't proposed to you, me, huh,
Speaker 1: it's either because he's not ready because he's financially maybe
Speaker 1: not ready, or stable because he's still working around with
Speaker 1: his side bitch and he's trying to figure it out,
Speaker 1: is the truth, because he's not secure about how he
Speaker 1: feels about you. He may like you, but he may
Speaker 1: not feel that you're wifing material because you may be
Speaker 1: the one that you're lingering around in the meantime, you know,
Speaker 1: you cook in the meantime he figures out the one
Speaker 1: that he really wants. All this other stuff because when
Speaker 1: a man really wants you. This is how I think.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't think nobody's
Speaker 1: wanted me that bad yet because I'm still single. But anyway,
Speaker 1: this is the story. He would have been put a
Speaker 1: ring on it. Like Beyonce said, anyways, I felt this
Speaker 1: post to my heart. I don't know if there's any
Speaker 1: other women out there that can relate to me, you know,
Speaker 1: because I have mixed emotions. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: should be like, go you go girl, Look at you
Speaker 1: taking control of the situation and marrying that man. You know,
Speaker 1: pregnant and you're on your knee, or without even being pregnant,
Speaker 1: you know, you went out there and your this is
Speaker 1: your man. Or should I be like, bit if you
Speaker 1: don't get your ass up from this damn floor right now? Okay?
Speaker 1: They and everything? No, no, no, no, no, so forth
Speaker 1: that that's the way to day. I had to bring
Speaker 1: in my producer, my friend me buy me. I'm eago
Speaker 1: me gonna buy my everything, Alex to help me out
Speaker 1: with this topic because I don't know how I feel
Speaker 1: about it today. Your Alice, how you doing? I'm doing excellent.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get to the litty gritty. I
Speaker 1: want to get down on my knees and and hope
Speaker 1: that this is the best episode. No pun intended, because
Speaker 1: you know the women getting under the episode. No. And besides,
Speaker 1: shouldn't you be having these conversations beforehand, like we know
Speaker 1: how to insinuate, like you know, baby, you know I'd
Speaker 1: really like to get married, you know, formalize this, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah whatever. Hint hint that means, dude, she's ready
Speaker 1: for it, proposed better if he doesn't do it, then, Alex,
Speaker 1: how would you feel of a girl gets down on
Speaker 1: her knee. Well, I'll tell you what um just really quickly.
Speaker 1: We're also going to introduce Arlene. She's another ware being
Speaker 1: here with Yes, yes, Arlene's she is hiding ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: but she is here with us. In her beautiful HD voice.
Speaker 1: I'm here because I'm listening. I'm I'm absorbing this topic
Speaker 1: because I'm a little nervous to get involved with this conversation.
Speaker 1: I just think it's good because now we have two
Speaker 1: female perspectives and then there's me. Uh and and you
Speaker 1: know what if if if a girl were to get
Speaker 1: down on one knee and proposed to me Honestly, I
Speaker 1: would kind of feel like like not less of a man,
Speaker 1: like I don't know. To me, that would just mean like, damn,
Speaker 1: you love me that much? Maybe maybe maybe because it
Speaker 1: could go two ways, right, maybe she's ready right now
Speaker 1: and I am too, but I'm kind of taking a
Speaker 1: little bit longer. Right. But if she were to express
Speaker 1: her love to me at first amount of like that,
Speaker 1: that shows me, Oh my god, I'm her, I'm her
Speaker 1: day one. She wants me here, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But that's just my mentality because there's other dudes that
Speaker 1: will just be like, oh god, I'm not ready for
Speaker 1: those or like like, well, well if you go through
Speaker 1: the whole process of going to the Walmart and buying
Speaker 1: a ring, but you better only get that ring from
Speaker 1: the damn Walmart because if you go to the game
Speaker 1: bougies store to get a ring, I'm a beach asked better. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: you go get the ring, put it on lay away,
Speaker 1: and then you finally get to ring, you give it
Speaker 1: to your man. You do this whole production, and if
Speaker 1: you're gonna do it, please do this privately. Don't do
Speaker 1: this publicly because be like no, or I'm not ready yet,
Speaker 1: or if he pulls you up from the floor without
Speaker 1: even saying no, if he just yanks your arm like bitch,
Speaker 1: get up? But does that? Doesn't that go to way
Speaker 1: to uh? And this is a question for both of you, right, So,
Speaker 1: like I get down and proposed to either or lean
Speaker 1: or you a matter and you guys can easily pretty
Speaker 1: much do the same thing. Guys will do it in
Speaker 1: a public setting in the middle of f COD in
Speaker 1: disney Land, So you don't say no, you know, like,
Speaker 1: what do you do? I think the craziest part about
Speaker 1: this post is that she's pregnant, and based on the
Speaker 1: image there at the beach, she's gone above and beyond
Speaker 1: for this guy. I mean, I hope that she yes,
Speaker 1: she was planning it, but that she kind of hinted
Speaker 1: that this was going to go down so that the
Speaker 1: guy wasn't completely taken aback. But I think that's the
Speaker 1: most important aspect. That she's pregnant. So for me, I
Speaker 1: want to know where is this guy at mentally? Is
Speaker 1: he not ready to be with her or is he
Speaker 1: not ready to step up for the family because the
Speaker 1: baby is here? No, the most important part, that's the
Speaker 1: most important part is that he's trashed. You know why,
Speaker 1: because if I see my baby mother, my girlfriend of
Speaker 1: my friends, the woman that i'm with, the woman that
Speaker 1: I busted in here and now she's over here pregnant
Speaker 1: on her knee, I would automatically say, yes, what do
Speaker 1: you know how heavy the stomach is to do all
Speaker 1: that sacrifice to even get on a knee and you're
Speaker 1: just gonna stand there that get smiling, that you're holding
Speaker 1: her hand. See that. You know he waited both of them,
Speaker 1: the pictures and everything so he could feel like oh,
Speaker 1: and then the stories later. I remember that time your
Speaker 1: mother took me to the beach and she was pregnant.
Speaker 1: She got on her knees and she asked, she asked
Speaker 1: me to marry her. I don't know that is a
Speaker 1: beautiful story written in a Disney one day. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now,
Speaker 1: so get ready for that. And now, would you if
Speaker 1: you is it? Is it a play on on on
Speaker 1: stuff that has happened in in in our personal lives
Speaker 1: that makes us feel this way. There's the saying, you
Speaker 1: know a lot of times, with all due respect, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that this is a case on the girl
Speaker 1: and the picture that I posted on the Instagram. No,
Speaker 1: but a lot of times women feel going, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to secure this man and I'm gonna get pregnant.
Speaker 1: If I get pregnant, he's not gonna leave me, or
Speaker 1: he's gonna be stuck with And then when you see
Speaker 1: that that doesn't work out, she's like, I'm desperate. Let me,
Speaker 1: let me get on one knee and ask him to
Speaker 1: marry me whatever, and they'll say you're trying to I feel,
Speaker 1: first of all men and women, we have natural instincts
Speaker 1: for us as women were natural nurturers. We want to
Speaker 1: have a household, we nest, we we expect, you know,
Speaker 1: we we want all those beautiful things. Men man, I
Speaker 1: feel that they want the same things later on in
Speaker 1: life when they mature, when they have more experience. But
Speaker 1: for the most part, they're not necessarily nurtures like women were.
Speaker 1: Just build naturally. This different. That's why we balance each
Speaker 1: other out. We both can't be the same. So you
Speaker 1: can't force things. You know, you can't force a man
Speaker 1: to love you. You can't force a man to want
Speaker 1: to marry you. You can't force he may say yes,
Speaker 1: porpena because he feels bad. He may say yes out
Speaker 1: of pressure, he may say yes out of many things,
Speaker 1: But how will you everybody know? Is this honestly what
Speaker 1: he really wanted to do, he really wanted to commit
Speaker 1: to me? Or did I force him into committing with
Speaker 1: me because I'm pregnant on one knee putting him a
Speaker 1: ring Like, I think it's a lot of pressure. I
Speaker 1: think it's something that should happen between both of you guys,
Speaker 1: you know, whenever you're ready. And I also think that
Speaker 1: as a woman, I feel a little bit more um
Speaker 1: sensitive to this topic because one, I'm pregnant, so I
Speaker 1: can understand the situation, and and to because of society,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure that in other cultures things is different,
Speaker 1: but because of society, society has taught us, even from
Speaker 1: a little girl watching Disney movies, that you know, Prince Charming,
Speaker 1: if they'll although they have to ask you, you're the lady,
Speaker 1: this is not That's why I have mixed emotions because
Speaker 1: there's a part of me that feels like maybe it's okay,
Speaker 1: Maybe there really isn't anything wrong, Like if I'm ready
Speaker 1: and I feel it in my heart to want to
Speaker 1: ask you to marry me. What's the problem? But society
Speaker 1: puts so much pressure and you feel like, damn, I
Speaker 1: I shouldn't ask. Well, this is not the right thing
Speaker 1: to you. Again, maybe that's what it is. What do
Speaker 1: you think, Earlie? I agree, I'm I'm all about breaking
Speaker 1: gender norms. I the issue for me isn't that the
Speaker 1: woman is asking or the man is asking. What what
Speaker 1: I'm all about it? I if I was in a
Speaker 1: if I was in her situation, I really wanted to
Speaker 1: lock this guy down. I don't think I would mind
Speaker 1: asking him to marry me. But I agree with you
Speaker 1: that society right now, I mean, as far as the patriarchy,
Speaker 1: we are still upholding that the dynamics between men and
Speaker 1: women are still very much at play, and so for me,
Speaker 1: and this is how I live my life personally. I
Speaker 1: always have that in my mind, the different dynamics between
Speaker 1: a man and a woman, and how no matter what
Speaker 1: the situation is, we're always going to be seen differently.
Speaker 1: I hope to break those barriers down the road if
Speaker 1: I ever have children one day. But the reality is
Speaker 1: still the reality. Society is still very much the way
Speaker 1: it is, and the and we uphold the patriarchy, whether
Speaker 1: we like it or not. Yeah, for sure, I totally
Speaker 1: agree with you. Um and not only that, but and
Speaker 1: then here's something else is different if if you really
Speaker 1: want to break it down and grow into a lot
Speaker 1: of details, I think culture is also an issue, like
Speaker 1: not an issue, but it is a factor culturally. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure where the girl from the picture was. To me,
Speaker 1: she looked African American, like an African American couple. But
Speaker 1: it could have been a Jamaican couple. It could have
Speaker 1: been Uh, it could have been anybody. They could have
Speaker 1: been Dominican. I don't know, because I based off the picture.
Speaker 1: I can't tell. Patom tom bian Is also looked at
Speaker 1: me im. They'll say asking for you know, to a
Speaker 1: guy who has an actor, So you know, culturally, I
Speaker 1: feel like them being the American community is a little
Speaker 1: bit more open minded when it comes to those things.
Speaker 1: The Latino community perhaps isn't as open minded into asking
Speaker 1: men for marriage like women asking men for marriage. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what. Here's here's a hot
Speaker 1: take for you baby. Here, here's a hot take for
Speaker 1: your for your crowd here that listens to exactly amount.
Speaker 1: Aren't we the prize as well as as men. Can't
Speaker 1: we be the prize? Or no? I mean is that
Speaker 1: if you are good man, Yes, you will be a
Speaker 1: prize if you are a good Yeah, those are rare. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you are a prize to your mother because she gave
Speaker 1: birth to you. No, no, no, no, no no no no
Speaker 1: no no. It is true. Men, there's some men that
Speaker 1: mean prize. I must admit I am and ring no everything,
Speaker 1: because you see them sacrifice for their for their home.
Speaker 1: You see them put in the work for you. I
Speaker 1: know a lot of men that have even um taking
Speaker 1: the father role of those children that their fathers decided
Speaker 1: to abandon. Like I am, I gonna get him on knee,
Speaker 1: but you want to marry me? Okay, let's go. You know,
Speaker 1: I get it. Bet, It's okay. The man is the prize. Ladies, ladies,
Speaker 1: let me know how you feel abou this. Do you
Speaker 1: think that men are also the price? That men also
Speaker 1: deserved to be given a ring? I'd be like you
Speaker 1: should have put a ring on it. Tell me how
Speaker 1: you feel about it, because go to exactly a Mata
Speaker 1: on Instagram and on Twitter. I want to read your comments. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know what's funny that sparked a
Speaker 1: lot of memes online where it showed pregnant women, um,
Speaker 1: you know, chopping wood outside while their man where it
Speaker 1: was inside like relaxing like they did the genderal difference, right,
Speaker 1: So instead of the women being pregnant inside hanging out
Speaker 1: or doing like certain things that you know women do
Speaker 1: when they're pregnant taking care of themselves, it was the
Speaker 1: man doing it inside the house and the woman coming
Speaker 1: home from work with a pregnant belly chopping wood outside
Speaker 1: with a pregnant belly, doing all kinds of crazy stuff
Speaker 1: outdoorsy stuff as if they were the men. It's pretty funny.
Speaker 1: I think they that that. People kind of spun it
Speaker 1: and play with it, but um to kind of like
Speaker 1: move the conversation along. Now you mentioned being pregnant, uh,
Speaker 1: and and you know and having no ring on your
Speaker 1: finger and whatnot. What's your personal like take? Now you're
Speaker 1: about to have these two beautiful angels and you you're single. Yeah,
Speaker 1: one's going to mingle. Yeah, what's your what's your take
Speaker 1: for yourself going through this entire pregnancy? You've done this
Speaker 1: on your own? If you're okay talking about this, like
Speaker 1: I don't know I'm talking about it is what it
Speaker 1: is men that I won't give too many details, right
Speaker 1: because I always promised myself that I would never talk
Speaker 1: in any other different matter about the father of my
Speaker 1: child or the situation or whatever, because like sometimes you'll
Speaker 1: be talking ship like this, some of them, I would
Speaker 1: never and then next thing, you know, you guys are
Speaker 1: holding hands and walking on the beach and falling in love.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think that that's what's gonna happen, but
Speaker 1: I'm just saying. And I never want my kids to
Speaker 1: be like you know, um, thanks to the Internet, things
Speaker 1: they've recorded and you'll always be able to hear it
Speaker 1: and then or see it, um. And I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: my kids to be like, oh, you were there talking
Speaker 1: about you know, my father and like that. No better.
Speaker 1: What I will say is it has been. It has
Speaker 1: been very hard for me. I I I felt, mean,
Speaker 1: there's no guide book, like I always say on how
Speaker 1: to live your life, right, there's no guide book. You
Speaker 1: figure ship out as you live. I felt like I
Speaker 1: funked up. I messed up. I messed up because I
Speaker 1: waited for so long, because I wanted my fairy tale,
Speaker 1: my fairy tale, was to get married first, do everything
Speaker 1: by the book, by a home, then the children and
Speaker 1: the baby carriage. It doesn't mean but um, it didn't
Speaker 1: happen like that. And I also understand that sometimes things
Speaker 1: don't have to happen in that order. I'm still young.
Speaker 1: Things don't have to happen in the in that order.
Speaker 1: I I love him for giving me my blessings, for
Speaker 1: giving me my children. Um, and then that's it, decent, tomink.
Speaker 1: You know, God gives you what he knows that you
Speaker 1: can handle, even if you feel that you can't. You know,
Speaker 1: God gave me not one but two because he felt
Speaker 1: that I can handle it, and I am doing my
Speaker 1: best to figure it out. Did I wish I had
Speaker 1: a ring right now? Yes? Did I wish? And it's
Speaker 1: not even about the ring. The ring is just the
Speaker 1: moral of the story. Did I wish that I had
Speaker 1: a husband, a fiancee, a father figure at this moment came,
Speaker 1: you know, rub my, Tommy, and go through this process
Speaker 1: and be right next to me while I'm pushing my
Speaker 1: babies out. Yes, would it happen in that way? Probably not,
Speaker 1: or at this point not. But that's okay, you know,
Speaker 1: that's okay. And I finally came to accept and understand that.
Speaker 1: It took me a long time. It took me depression.
Speaker 1: I've gone through depression so much that I even started
Speaker 1: taking therapy. You know, things that I don't make public
Speaker 1: because people are ready to judge you. I had. My
Speaker 1: depression got so bad, even with hormones and everything, I
Speaker 1: ended up having to take therapy because the depression was
Speaker 1: killing me of knowing that I have to do this
Speaker 1: by myself, like I didn't do my babies by myself.
Speaker 1: But um, God said, mean it's perfect. Maybe later on
Speaker 1: in life things will change, but in the meantime, it's hard.
Speaker 1: So I can understand how this girl, you know, decided
Speaker 1: to propose to this man. Maybe she's trying to secure
Speaker 1: that father figure, she's trying to secure that husband, that support.
Speaker 1: Because we're talking a lot of ship, but we're not
Speaker 1: in her shoes. We don't know exactly how she felt,
Speaker 1: what she was going through, what he's done for her
Speaker 1: um or what the case may be. So yeah, you're
Speaker 1: you're you're completely correct, And um, I know, Arlene. We
Speaker 1: had a we reached out on social media correct and
Speaker 1: we had a bunch of our amazing listeners throw some
Speaker 1: questions our away. Right. They were very active on social
Speaker 1: media with this post, and they had a lot to say. Uh.
Speaker 1: Mr Sells eight one seven said, if a man is
Speaker 1: that caught up in himself, he's says he's suspicious. Well,
Speaker 1: like you mentioned a matter, we don't know this guy's situation.
Speaker 1: For all we know, this is someone who is a
Speaker 1: great person in this woman's life, and that's why she's
Speaker 1: going above and beyond for him. But as you mentioned,
Speaker 1: typically generalizing, that's not the case. So we really hope
Speaker 1: that that guy is legit modeling at all. Tender said,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm traditional on this one. We definitely talked
Speaker 1: about that. Shout out to all the traditional girls. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're into the tradition, me too, Shout out to them.
Speaker 1: And by the way, let's let's change this top. Well,
Speaker 1: let's just change the perspective for two seconds. What about
Speaker 1: if he had asked her in the past and she
Speaker 1: said no, Yeah, that's a big that's you never know.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe he asked and she wasn't ready, or she
Speaker 1: said no and now she felt like, damn, this is
Speaker 1: the right time to do it. There's many ways, there's
Speaker 1: many sides to the stories. We don't know what happened.
Speaker 1: He sure looks surprised in the photo. He was like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness. Okay, honey cat J said, hell Na,
Speaker 1: if you want to do that, cool, but I ain't
Speaker 1: into it. The real soaking upset, d upset. All you
Speaker 1: need is loyalty. The rest is bullshit. The ring, the marriage,
Speaker 1: the gifts, all overrated, the field. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: kind of like a little bit of your answer, Like
Speaker 1: I know you want the love and the fairy tale
Speaker 1: because you you have spoken about it, but you're also
Speaker 1: hard body, Like, hey, listen, you show me that you're
Speaker 1: here from me and do the right thing and you
Speaker 1: know things will come right, because I think I felt
Speaker 1: that from you in the past. Yeah, I'll rock with you.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll roll with me. I too in my life.
Speaker 1: I want the ring because I want the pictures. I
Speaker 1: want the dress, I want the cake, I want them ma,
Speaker 1: I want the party with the friends. Yeah, okay, that's it.
Speaker 1: But there's something about that paper. When you sign that paper,
Speaker 1: I don't know what happens, but I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people have been together for a very long time,
Speaker 1: eighteen years together. Fat though. Oh that's gonny to go
Speaker 1: get married divorced in a year. I don't know why
Speaker 1: that happens. So realistically, do you have to get married
Speaker 1: legally in order to have a successful relationship? No, do
Speaker 1: you have to. The ring just makes you feel, come, okay,
Speaker 1: we're serious about each other. This is legit. We're really
Speaker 1: trying to like, you're for me and I'm for you,
Speaker 1: and we're rocking. And also for every other bitch out
Speaker 1: there that's gonna see you at the gym, it's gonna
Speaker 1: see you around at the supermarket. Look at that ring.
Speaker 1: You see that ring, that means he's taken. Don't talk
Speaker 1: to my man. That's what that means to us. And
Speaker 1: and also for women, for women, I also think there's
Speaker 1: also between women and women cattiness. If you see this ring,
Speaker 1: you know, wom my man like, my man gat me
Speaker 1: this ring. If your ring looks you know, if you're
Speaker 1: rings just to look a little crunchy and crusty on
Speaker 1: the sides and stuff like that. We know your man
Speaker 1: ain't gotta like that, but he tried. So the point
Speaker 1: is the ring is just like that statement, gonna get
Speaker 1: that stamp. Yeah, the loyalty just be a good man.
Speaker 1: Be a good wife. I mean, be a good woman
Speaker 1: to your man. The ring is just the thing, But
Speaker 1: is it like a thousand percent guaranteed that you're gonna
Speaker 1: have a sucipeful relationship because you have a ring you
Speaker 1: got married? Not necessarily. The interesting thing, Amnna, is that
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, single motherhood has actually been surging. More
Speaker 1: people want to explore um being a mother or being
Speaker 1: a parent. I mean there's people that are adopting as well.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that that those numbers went up
Speaker 1: during the pandemic? Is it because people were like, I'm
Speaker 1: not messing around times wasting? I'm like, why do you
Speaker 1: think people have been trying to do this single motherhood thing?
Speaker 1: Because the people are dying? You don't know what's happening.
Speaker 1: Are you not watching a new we're funding apart? But
Speaker 1: I would have thought the opposite. I would have thought
Speaker 1: the options because we're having that, people would be more scared. No,
Speaker 1: we're having the pandemic babies. Haven't you seen them? Yo?
Speaker 1: You give birth to them and then like in a
Speaker 1: week they start talking and everything. They're like They're like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, the pandemic babies are different. These days. Um,
Speaker 1: they're smart, they're smart. They're walking there like wobbling already,
Speaker 1: like in two days. I'm like, either me or what's
Speaker 1: what's going on with the children. What I will say
Speaker 1: is I think that the pandemic really showed Doues that
Speaker 1: you're here today and you could be gone, you could
Speaker 1: be gone tomorrow. A lot of times we keep waiting
Speaker 1: for the opportunity, waiting for the day, waiting for this moment.
Speaker 1: You create the moment. The moment is whenever you decide
Speaker 1: that the moment is there. There's no perfect time to
Speaker 1: have children, there's no perfect time to get married, there's
Speaker 1: no perfect time to get your degree, there's no there's
Speaker 1: no perfect time. Because you're here today, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean it doesn't mean that you're just gonna die because
Speaker 1: of COVID or because the pandemic or what's happening. You
Speaker 1: can go outside right now, you know, get my listeners.
Speaker 1: A car comes boom. Yeah, it's a wrap. Everything that
Speaker 1: you have planned for next week is done, is over.
Speaker 1: So I feel that a lot of people decided, you
Speaker 1: know what, whether I get married or I don't get
Speaker 1: married with I have a man, I don't have a man,
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. If I want to
Speaker 1: be a mother, if I want to experience that feeling,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do it. Whether it is that I
Speaker 1: have to adopt or just get banged by someone and
Speaker 1: just have a baby on my own, have your baby
Speaker 1: on your own. You can still be an amazing mother
Speaker 1: as a single mother, you could be an amazing father.
Speaker 1: Shout out to all the other single fathers out there
Speaker 1: putting in that work, because we never really talked about
Speaker 1: you guys. We never really talked about you guys. And
Speaker 1: you guys deserve props too. If you're out there being
Speaker 1: a single father and putting in that work, you deserve
Speaker 1: it as well. But that's what I think, Alice, what
Speaker 1: do you think? Yeah? I I behind you on on
Speaker 1: on that on that end there when especially with the
Speaker 1: whether you're a single parent uh male or female uh
Speaker 1: And and the pandemic has has also brought a lot
Speaker 1: of more people together as well, with you know, seeing
Speaker 1: loved ones pass away, friends pass away, and having that
Speaker 1: much more time at home. I know, for me it
Speaker 1: was a godsend to be able to spend more time
Speaker 1: with my little one and just being able to see
Speaker 1: her grow. I know, there was a lot of bad
Speaker 1: things happening throughout that one year, But for me, I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I like, you said, I became the
Speaker 1: hunter gatherer protector and this is what I want to do.
Speaker 1: I want to see my little one you or grow
Speaker 1: and and just and just whatever you have. But you
Speaker 1: know what, I wanted to ask you something now that
Speaker 1: you almost at the tail end of your pregnancy, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have, Yeah, you're gonna have these these two kids
Speaker 1: running around the house, pulling microphones, kicking computers and all
Speaker 1: that good stuff, because you know, give us some tips
Speaker 1: for for for any single um female that's out there
Speaker 1: who's about to um you know, give birth or have
Speaker 1: a kid already, might have an infant, even a male
Speaker 1: who might be alone with their infant. Can you, you know,
Speaker 1: let's give them some tips. What do you what do
Speaker 1: you think is building a support system? One of them like,
Speaker 1: because they do say it takes a village to raise
Speaker 1: a child, right, building a support system is very important.
Speaker 1: My support system is my mother. Thank god I have
Speaker 1: my mother, and I won't lie. During this process, I
Speaker 1: realized that I had UM, I have really good friends.
Speaker 1: And sometimes because they said the friends that are always
Speaker 1: around you. They don't be the ones if are the
Speaker 1: ones that you never call, the ones that are random
Speaker 1: as hell, that actually showed up to be like, if
Speaker 1: you need me, I'm here, that have shown me more
Speaker 1: support than those friends that I've gone to the club with,
Speaker 1: hung out with a come to my house and eat
Speaker 1: my refrigerator up. It's not it's not those, it's the
Speaker 1: other ones that understood or connected with the fact that
Speaker 1: during this process. So definitely having a support system is important.
Speaker 1: Your support system doesn't have to be big. You don't
Speaker 1: have to have the ka oh, the whole village. Oh
Speaker 1: a man. If you have one or two people that
Speaker 1: really rock at you solid, that's all that you need.
Speaker 1: And um and yeah, I think it's important, especially in
Speaker 1: my in my case, if you're having more than one,
Speaker 1: if you're having two or three kids, four kids all
Speaker 1: at once, girl, you need that supporting system. And all
Speaker 1: that was important. That mental health. I'm not gonna get
Speaker 1: into details, but guys, it is so important your mental health.
Speaker 1: You know, if you need to take some time away
Speaker 1: from everything, do it. Your audio is going through so
Speaker 1: many different things you need time to process. Your body
Speaker 1: is changing, your boobs, are hurting. My ass is getting bigger.
Speaker 1: I'm checking for stretch marks every day. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: feeling depressed and then I'm happy, and then I'm sad,
Speaker 1: and then I'm cold, then I'm hot. I don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on. You need time for yourself. Um and
Speaker 1: being with friends makes you feel good good and being
Speaker 1: alone makes you feel good good. And if you feel
Speaker 1: that you need help, don't feel embarrassed. If you feel
Speaker 1: like I need to see a therapist, I need to
Speaker 1: talk to a professional. I needn't talk to somebody that
Speaker 1: can help me understand my body, my situation, and my feelings.
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid of doing that. I'm foco. What about
Speaker 1: considering a birthing partner if you don't have, if you're
Speaker 1: not in a relationship, who's going to be in the
Speaker 1: room with you to hold your hand and say exactly
Speaker 1: a birthning partner? In my perfect world? Originally I really
Speaker 1: wished that I could have had my mom to my
Speaker 1: right side and you know, my man to the left side,
Speaker 1: And that was my dream. I visualized looking there right
Speaker 1: into the left and the two people that I love
Speaker 1: the most would be there to support me. However, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna look to the right. I want to look
Speaker 1: to the right. I'm gonna have my mother right there.
Speaker 1: They gave birth to me, and she's gonna watch me
Speaker 1: give birth to her grandchildren, and we're gonna rock solid.
Speaker 1: And then again COVID. COVID came. So now the in
Speaker 1: the hospital they only let you have one person. And
Speaker 1: you're lucky now because before, in the middle of the
Speaker 1: middle of pandemic, these women had to give birth soda
Speaker 1: by themselves, seeing nobody in there, no father, no mother.
Speaker 1: You have to see them from the window. But I
Speaker 1: swear that you can at least have one person now
Speaker 1: because me, I would have had a whole camera crew
Speaker 1: everything I want. I want to record the whole experience,
Speaker 1: the whole moment where the camera's lighting fat. Oh, it's
Speaker 1: not gonna happen that way. I and then to kind
Speaker 1: of like wrap it up before we get out of here. UM.
Speaker 1: I believe that part of the support system is also
Speaker 1: connecting with other single parents right who who do have
Speaker 1: um the kidids. And I don't know if I believe
Speaker 1: you're you're gonna have your mom helping you with the
Speaker 1: kids they're at home, but also you're gonna be taking
Speaker 1: your kids out. You're gonna go to parks, you're gonna
Speaker 1: go and walk, You're gonna do certain things, right, So
Speaker 1: those things you'll see other parents, And I think it's
Speaker 1: a good good thing for parents to kind of, like
Speaker 1: as a parent myself, to kind of like interact with others,
Speaker 1: and you know, for you to also get some type
Speaker 1: of feedback, you know, maybe help, you know, because there's
Speaker 1: also nosy people out there. We know this, but you know,
Speaker 1: to kind of like collaborate with other people, you know,
Speaker 1: like we need that, you know, we're human, we need
Speaker 1: that one on one connection with others. So, you know,
Speaker 1: I believe that connecting with other single parents might help
Speaker 1: as well. I think that that's definitely important to connect
Speaker 1: with other single parents. But at the same time, also
Speaker 1: understand that everybody's experienced and everybody's journey is different. Just
Speaker 1: because something worked for one parent doesn't mean it's gonna
Speaker 1: work for you. And just because you see one parent,
Speaker 1: you know, thriving at being a single mother and all
Speaker 1: she's looking on happy. You know, she gave birth and
Speaker 1: like a week later she has six hacks and her
Speaker 1: body is perfect. No, no, no, none of that pressure
Speaker 1: be there to support each other, but don't be there
Speaker 1: unconsciously to compete. I think that that's important. I'm being
Speaker 1: that's perfect. So that's great advice. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this episode has been so good. I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful for this conversation. They'll be writing on my Instagram, UM,
Speaker 1: and they be giving their opinions because sometimes out of
Speaker 1: those things we come up with really good topics that
Speaker 1: can actually be very helpful, educational, and impactful for my listeners.
Speaker 1: And that's what I really care about at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, to continue to figure outways to inspire,
Speaker 1: motivate you guys. UM. And if there's any questions, if
Speaker 1: there's any suggestions, if there's any advice that you would
Speaker 1: like to give me give us, feel free to go
Speaker 1: to exactly a Mada on Instagram and on Twitter. We're
Speaker 1: always there to check it out. I want to thank
Speaker 1: alex ARLENEA for always supporting my show, for being here,
Speaker 1: for being part of the show behind the scenes, in
Speaker 1: front of the scene, even if Arlen is not ready
Speaker 1: to show her family's face at this moment, I thank
Speaker 1: you so much. And for all those single mothers out there, UM,
Speaker 1: if you're pregnant without a rain. Girl, you got this.
Speaker 1: If you're a single mother, I am so proud of you.
Speaker 1: If you're a single father, my most highest respect to you.
Speaker 1: You're doing an amazing job. Um we need more people
Speaker 1: like you. Without being said, thank you everyone for joining
Speaker 1: and remember to follow. Like I said before, exactly a
Speaker 1: Mata on Instagram and Twitter. Also go check out Michael
Speaker 1: Cuda podcast on Instagram and you can also watch the
Speaker 1: podcast on my YouTube channel at Adela a l N
Speaker 1: or just right on the search bar exactly a Mata
Speaker 1: You can watch all the episodes and all which is
Speaker 1: really good. This has been a production of I Heearts
Speaker 1: Michael Tuda podcast Network. For more podcast from my Heart,
Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite. It's a girl a Madela
Speaker 1: Negra and this was exactly a made Yeah h