WEBVTT - Pregnant with No Ring 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:07.800 Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, guys, it's your girl, am mad at 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:10.399 la Nega as usual, yell starving. You already know the 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:13.640 routine you're listening to exactly a mode of production of 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:16.680 my heart. Thank you so much for tuning in as 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:19.000 you dual every Thursday. You guys know that I'm here. 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.960 I have been teasing everyone on my social media platform 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:24.439 at exactly a mata, just giving you guys a little 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:28.040 heads up of what the topics will be. So, something 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.960 that was very controversial was something that I posted on Instagram. 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:37.080 And if you follow me at l N you'll get it. 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:39.920 You'll get to see me post every so often things 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:42.560 that I find controversial and interesting. But before I get 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:46.280 to that, subscribe. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and share 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:50.240 this podcast with all your friends and family. Leave a comment, 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.440 good or bad, new Porta. I'll be right there to 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:54.480 read it. And if I have to curse your ass out, 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:56.600 I'll do that too. And if I have to show 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.560 you some love, I'll do that too. So thank you 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.640 so much for hearing me talk shit every Thursday. That's 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:07.640 why today I wanted to talk about something, a song 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:11.000 and a zone. I felt it in my heart. I 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.160 felt it in my spirit. I was on the Instagram 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:15.880 or whatever whatever, and don't say I saw this girl 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:17.560 that posted something. I was like, oh my god, let 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:19.679 me repost and put on my page. And it was 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:23.840 this pregnant girl, or rather better, this pregnant woman on 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:28.720 her knee proposing to a man. And don't say it 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:30.480 was a part of me. Obviously, now that you know 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:32.760 I'm pregnant, I was like, oh my god, I don't 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.920 know if I would ever even without me being pregnant. 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:37.440 But okay, I don't know if I would ever be 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.160 in a situation where I'm like, oh my god, you're 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:41.880 the love of my life with a lot of what whatever. 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.120 I'm just gonna, you know, get my fat ass on 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.560 this knee, and first of all, I have to go 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.680 to the store. You're gone, and I'm gonna spend my money. 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:52.680 I'm gonna spend my money on you whatever, if you're 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:54.000 a good man and you deserve it. I don't have 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.600 I'm not stingy. I'll spend the money, but I'm gonna 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:02.040 get on one knee and I'm gonna be like the 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:04.720 lot of my life whatever whatever. Since you haven't asked 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.440 me to marry you then let me ask you, okay, 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:11.120 like better. At the same time, then the other feminist 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:14.280 side of me is like, that's fucking right, bitch, take 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:17.280 control of the situation. And that's your man and you 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:19.120 want to secure that. And he hasn't told you how 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:24.799 he felt about you. Marry his assmy that and I said, 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:26.720 we're making it happen. I don't want to hear it. 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.440 That's say your minds, you belong to me. Your mother 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:31.200 gave birth to you so that I could have you. 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:35.600 But at the same time, it's like, well they really don't. 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:44.880 They don't. But if he hasn't proposed to you, me, huh, 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:47.919 it's either because he's not ready because he's financially maybe 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:51.519 not ready, or stable because he's still working around with 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:53.200 his side bitch and he's trying to figure it out, 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.240 is the truth, because he's not secure about how he 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.040 feels about you. He may like you, but he may 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:01.120 not feel that you're wifing material because you may be 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:04.400 the one that you're lingering around in the meantime, you know, 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:07.280 you cook in the meantime he figures out the one 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:09.960 that he really wants. All this other stuff because when 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.280 a man really wants you. This is how I think. 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.720 I don't know. I don't know. I don't think nobody's 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:16.680 wanted me that bad yet because I'm still single. But anyway, 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:18.480 this is the story. He would have been put a 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:22.760 ring on it. Like Beyonce said, anyways, I felt this 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.480 post to my heart. I don't know if there's any 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.080 other women out there that can relate to me, you know, 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.600 because I have mixed emotions. I don't know if I 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.240 should be like, go you go girl, Look at you 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:37.280 taking control of the situation and marrying that man. You know, 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:40.560 pregnant and you're on your knee, or without even being pregnant, 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:42.880 you know, you went out there and your this is 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:45.160 your man. Or should I be like, bit if you 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:49.040 don't get your ass up from this damn floor right now? Okay? 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:59.040 They and everything? No, no, no, no, no, so forth 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.600 that that's the way to day. I had to bring 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:05.480 in my producer, my friend me buy me. I'm eago 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:10.320 me gonna buy my everything, Alex to help me out 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.720 with this topic because I don't know how I feel 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:16.040 about it today. Your Alice, how you doing? I'm doing excellent. 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:19.720 I can't wait to get to the litty gritty. I 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:21.560 want to get down on my knees and and hope 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:23.960 that this is the best episode. No pun intended, because 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:28.800 you know the women getting under the episode. No. And besides, 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:34.120 shouldn't you be having these conversations beforehand, like we know 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:37.000 how to insinuate, like you know, baby, you know I'd 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:40.280 really like to get married, you know, formalize this, blah 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:45.600 blah blah whatever. Hint hint that means, dude, she's ready 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:50.840 for it, proposed better if he doesn't do it, then, Alex, 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:52.440 how would you feel of a girl gets down on 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.719 her knee. Well, I'll tell you what um just really quickly. 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.360 We're also going to introduce Arlene. She's another ware being 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:03.440 here with Yes, yes, Arlene's she is hiding ladies and gentlemen, 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:07.159 but she is here with us. In her beautiful HD voice. 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:10.880 I'm here because I'm listening. I'm I'm absorbing this topic 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:13.960 because I'm a little nervous to get involved with this conversation. 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.080 I just think it's good because now we have two 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.359 female perspectives and then there's me. Uh and and you 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:22.760 know what if if if a girl were to get 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:27.159 down on one knee and proposed to me Honestly, I 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:32.039 would kind of feel like like not less of a man, 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:34.160 like I don't know. To me, that would just mean like, damn, 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:37.280 you love me that much? Maybe maybe maybe because it 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.680 could go two ways, right, maybe she's ready right now 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.400 and I am too, but I'm kind of taking a 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:45.960 little bit longer. Right. But if she were to express 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.160 her love to me at first amount of like that, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.320 that shows me, Oh my god, I'm her, I'm her 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:54.679 day one. She wants me here, you know what I'm saying. 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.279 But that's just my mentality because there's other dudes that 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.560 will just be like, oh god, I'm not ready for 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:07.440 those or like like, well, well if you go through 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.440 the whole process of going to the Walmart and buying 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:12.480 a ring, but you better only get that ring from 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:14.800 the damn Walmart because if you go to the game 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:19.520 bougies store to get a ring, I'm a beach asked better. Okay, fine, 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:23.320 you go get the ring, put it on lay away, 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.400 and then you finally get to ring, you give it 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.560 to your man. You do this whole production, and if 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.520 you're gonna do it, please do this privately. Don't do 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:38.279 this publicly because be like no, or I'm not ready yet, 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.599 or if he pulls you up from the floor without 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:42.880 even saying no, if he just yanks your arm like bitch, 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:47.120 get up? But does that? Doesn't that go to way 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.760 to uh? And this is a question for both of you, right, So, 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.880 like I get down and proposed to either or lean 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:55.520 or you a matter and you guys can easily pretty 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:57.599 much do the same thing. Guys will do it in 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:00.080 a public setting in the middle of f COD in 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.440 disney Land, So you don't say no, you know, like, 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:05.960 what do you do? I think the craziest part about 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:10.200 this post is that she's pregnant, and based on the 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.880 image there at the beach, she's gone above and beyond 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:18.000 for this guy. I mean, I hope that she yes, 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.280 she was planning it, but that she kind of hinted 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:21.840 that this was going to go down so that the 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:26.200 guy wasn't completely taken aback. But I think that's the 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:28.880 most important aspect. That she's pregnant. So for me, I 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:32.760 want to know where is this guy at mentally? Is 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:34.440 he not ready to be with her or is he 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.720 not ready to step up for the family because the 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:41.120 baby is here? No, the most important part, that's the 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.080 most important part is that he's trashed. You know why, 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:48.440 because if I see my baby mother, my girlfriend of 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.800 my friends, the woman that i'm with, the woman that 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:53.360 I busted in here and now she's over here pregnant 0:07:53.680 --> 0:08:01.160 on her knee, I would automatically say, yes, what do 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.880 you know how heavy the stomach is to do all 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.560 that sacrifice to even get on a knee and you're 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:08.720 just gonna stand there that get smiling, that you're holding 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:14.400 her hand. See that. You know he waited both of them, 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:17.480 the pictures and everything so he could feel like oh, 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.520 and then the stories later. I remember that time your 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:22.720 mother took me to the beach and she was pregnant. 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.240 She got on her knees and she asked, she asked 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.360 me to marry her. I don't know that is a 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:30.760 beautiful story written in a Disney one day. I'm gonna 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:32.880 tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now, 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.560 so get ready for that. And now, would you if 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:40.320 you is it? Is it a play on on on 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.640 stuff that has happened in in in our personal lives 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:49.560 that makes us feel this way. There's the saying, you 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.240 know a lot of times, with all due respect, I'm 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:53.600 not saying that this is a case on the girl 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.280 and the picture that I posted on the Instagram. No, 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.000 but a lot of times women feel going, Okay, I'm 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:59.960 going to secure this man and I'm gonna get pregnant. 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:01.599 If I get pregnant, he's not gonna leave me, or 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:03.880 he's gonna be stuck with And then when you see 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.840 that that doesn't work out, she's like, I'm desperate. Let me, 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:08.520 let me get on one knee and ask him to 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:12.000 marry me whatever, and they'll say you're trying to I feel, 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.439 first of all men and women, we have natural instincts 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.440 for us as women were natural nurturers. We want to 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:21.800 have a household, we nest, we we expect, you know, 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:26.319 we we want all those beautiful things. Men man, I 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:28.720 feel that they want the same things later on in 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:31.920 life when they mature, when they have more experience. But 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.960 for the most part, they're not necessarily nurtures like women were. 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:39.440 Just build naturally. This different. That's why we balance each 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:42.679 other out. We both can't be the same. So you 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:45.839 can't force things. You know, you can't force a man 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:47.840 to love you. You can't force a man to want 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:50.280 to marry you. You can't force he may say yes, 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:53.719 porpena because he feels bad. He may say yes out 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:55.760 of pressure, he may say yes out of many things, 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:58.800 But how will you everybody know? Is this honestly what 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.160 he really wanted to do, he really wanted to commit 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:04.000 to me? Or did I force him into committing with 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:07.280 me because I'm pregnant on one knee putting him a 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.280 ring Like, I think it's a lot of pressure. I 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.400 think it's something that should happen between both of you guys, 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:13.439 you know, whenever you're ready. And I also think that 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.679 as a woman, I feel a little bit more um 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:18.800 sensitive to this topic because one, I'm pregnant, so I 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:24.000 can understand the situation, and and to because of society, 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.120 because I'm sure that in other cultures things is different, 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:30.040 but because of society, society has taught us, even from 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:34.000 a little girl watching Disney movies, that you know, Prince Charming, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.520 if they'll although they have to ask you, you're the lady, 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.800 this is not That's why I have mixed emotions because 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:42.400 there's a part of me that feels like maybe it's okay, 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.880 Maybe there really isn't anything wrong, Like if I'm ready 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:46.800 and I feel it in my heart to want to 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:50.760 ask you to marry me. What's the problem? But society 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.800 puts so much pressure and you feel like, damn, I 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:55.640 I shouldn't ask. Well, this is not the right thing 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.000 to you. Again, maybe that's what it is. What do 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:01.400 you think, Earlie? I agree, I'm I'm all about breaking 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.240 gender norms. I the issue for me isn't that the 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.319 woman is asking or the man is asking. What what 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.120 I'm all about it? I if I was in a 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.440 if I was in her situation, I really wanted to 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.720 lock this guy down. I don't think I would mind 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:17.560 asking him to marry me. But I agree with you 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:21.079 that society right now, I mean, as far as the patriarchy, 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:24.280 we are still upholding that the dynamics between men and 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.840 women are still very much at play, and so for me, 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.240 and this is how I live my life personally. I 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.439 always have that in my mind, the different dynamics between 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:36.240 a man and a woman, and how no matter what 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:39.200 the situation is, we're always going to be seen differently. 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.680 I hope to break those barriers down the road if 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.079 I ever have children one day. But the reality is 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.280 still the reality. Society is still very much the way 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.000 it is, and the and we uphold the patriarchy, whether 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:58.640 we like it or not. Yeah, for sure, I totally 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.520 agree with you. Um and not only that, but and 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.320 then here's something else is different if if you really 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:06.839 want to break it down and grow into a lot 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:10.440 of details, I think culture is also an issue, like 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:13.880 not an issue, but it is a factor culturally. I'm 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.360 not sure where the girl from the picture was. To me, 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:18.960 she looked African American, like an African American couple. But 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:20.880 it could have been a Jamaican couple. It could have 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:23.640 been Uh, it could have been anybody. They could have 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.760 been Dominican. I don't know, because I based off the picture. 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:30.880 I can't tell. Patom tom bian Is also looked at 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:37.600 me im. They'll say asking for you know, to a 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:41.040 guy who has an actor, So you know, culturally, I 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:44.000 feel like them being the American community is a little 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:47.000 bit more open minded when it comes to those things. 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.920 The Latino community perhaps isn't as open minded into asking 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:55.160 men for marriage like women asking men for marriage. I 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.760 don't know, I don't know what. Here's here's a hot 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.920 take for you baby. Here, here's a hot take for 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.400 your for your crowd here that listens to exactly amount. 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:06.320 Aren't we the prize as well as as men. Can't 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.559 we be the prize? Or no? I mean is that 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:12.240 if you are good man, Yes, you will be a 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:15.800 prize if you are a good Yeah, those are rare. Yeah, 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.240 you are a prize to your mother because she gave 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:23.080 birth to you. No, no, no, no, no no no no 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:27.079 no no. It is true. Men, there's some men that 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:33.400 mean prize. I must admit I am and ring no everything, 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.840 because you see them sacrifice for their for their home. 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.000 You see them put in the work for you. I 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:41.200 know a lot of men that have even um taking 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:44.960 the father role of those children that their fathers decided 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:50.600 to abandon. Like I am, I gonna get him on knee, 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.720 but you want to marry me? Okay, let's go. You know, 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:58.839 I get it. Bet, It's okay. The man is the prize. Ladies, ladies, 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:00.480 let me know how you feel abou this. Do you 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.800 think that men are also the price? That men also 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.000 deserved to be given a ring? I'd be like you 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.000 should have put a ring on it. Tell me how 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:10.480 you feel about it, because go to exactly a Mata 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.199 on Instagram and on Twitter. I want to read your comments. Um, 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.040 I don't know, you know what's funny that sparked a 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:21.160 lot of memes online where it showed pregnant women, um, 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:25.040 you know, chopping wood outside while their man where it 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:30.040 was inside like relaxing like they did the genderal difference, right, 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.640 So instead of the women being pregnant inside hanging out 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:34.960 or doing like certain things that you know women do 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:37.480 when they're pregnant taking care of themselves, it was the 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:40.200 man doing it inside the house and the woman coming 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:43.520 home from work with a pregnant belly chopping wood outside 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.320 with a pregnant belly, doing all kinds of crazy stuff 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:50.000 outdoorsy stuff as if they were the men. It's pretty funny. 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.120 I think they that that. People kind of spun it 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:53.920 and play with it, but um to kind of like 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:57.920 move the conversation along. Now you mentioned being pregnant, uh, 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.240 and and you know and having no ring on your 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.920 finger and whatnot. What's your personal like take? Now you're 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:10.320 about to have these two beautiful angels and you you're single. Yeah, 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.920 one's going to mingle. Yeah, what's your what's your take 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:18.600 for yourself going through this entire pregnancy? You've done this 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.520 on your own? If you're okay talking about this, like 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.240 I don't know I'm talking about it is what it 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:26.200 is men that I won't give too many details, right 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.480 because I always promised myself that I would never talk 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.320 in any other different matter about the father of my 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:37.560 child or the situation or whatever, because like sometimes you'll 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:40.280 be talking ship like this, some of them, I would 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:42.000 never and then next thing, you know, you guys are 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:43.920 holding hands and walking on the beach and falling in love. 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:46.160 Like I don't think that that's what's gonna happen, but 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.360 I'm just saying. And I never want my kids to 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.640 be like you know, um, thanks to the Internet, things 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.720 they've recorded and you'll always be able to hear it 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.480 and then or see it, um. And I wouldn't want 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.120 my kids to be like, oh, you were there talking 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.240 about you know, my father and like that. No better. 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:06.520 What I will say is it has been. It has 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:11.360 been very hard for me. I I I felt, mean, 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:13.440 there's no guide book, like I always say on how 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:15.760 to live your life, right, there's no guide book. You 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:18.680 figure ship out as you live. I felt like I 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:22.920 funked up. I messed up. I messed up because I 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.600 waited for so long, because I wanted my fairy tale, 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.400 my fairy tale, was to get married first, do everything 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.440 by the book, by a home, then the children and 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.760 the baby carriage. It doesn't mean but um, it didn't 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:37.240 happen like that. And I also understand that sometimes things 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:40.040 don't have to happen in that order. I'm still young. 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:42.640 Things don't have to happen in the in that order. 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:46.880 I I love him for giving me my blessings, for 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:52.640 giving me my children. Um, and then that's it, decent, tomink. 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.000 You know, God gives you what he knows that you 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:58.360 can handle, even if you feel that you can't. You know, 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.760 God gave me not one but two because he felt 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.080 that I can handle it, and I am doing my 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:05.800 best to figure it out. Did I wish I had 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:09.040 a ring right now? Yes? Did I wish? And it's 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:10.720 not even about the ring. The ring is just the 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.399 moral of the story. Did I wish that I had 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:18.360 a husband, a fiancee, a father figure at this moment came, 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:21.000 you know, rub my, Tommy, and go through this process 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.520 and be right next to me while I'm pushing my 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:27.720 babies out. Yes, would it happen in that way? Probably not, 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:32.399 or at this point not. But that's okay, you know, 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:36.600 that's okay. And I finally came to accept and understand that. 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.159 It took me a long time. It took me depression. 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:42.919 I've gone through depression so much that I even started 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.600 taking therapy. You know, things that I don't make public 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.679 because people are ready to judge you. I had. My 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:51.639 depression got so bad, even with hormones and everything, I 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.320 ended up having to take therapy because the depression was 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:55.639 killing me of knowing that I have to do this 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.000 by myself, like I didn't do my babies by myself. 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:01.240 But um, God said, mean it's perfect. Maybe later on 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:03.520 in life things will change, but in the meantime, it's hard. 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:07.280 So I can understand how this girl, you know, decided 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:10.240 to propose to this man. Maybe she's trying to secure 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:13.440 that father figure, she's trying to secure that husband, that support. 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:16.399 Because we're talking a lot of ship, but we're not 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:18.400 in her shoes. We don't know exactly how she felt, 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.280 what she was going through, what he's done for her 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:24.440 um or what the case may be. So yeah, you're 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.679 you're you're completely correct, And um, I know, Arlene. We 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:31.080 had a we reached out on social media correct and 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.520 we had a bunch of our amazing listeners throw some 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:37.879 questions our away. Right. They were very active on social 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:40.760 media with this post, and they had a lot to say. Uh. 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.879 Mr Sells eight one seven said, if a man is 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:51.280 that caught up in himself, he's says he's suspicious. Well, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.640 like you mentioned a matter, we don't know this guy's situation. 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.359 For all we know, this is someone who is a 0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:58.520 great person in this woman's life, and that's why she's 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.480 going above and beyond for him. But as you mentioned, 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:05.040 typically generalizing, that's not the case. So we really hope 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:09.120 that that guy is legit modeling at all. Tender said, 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:13.280 I can't. I'm traditional on this one. We definitely talked 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:22.240 about that. Shout out to all the traditional girls. You know, 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.760 if you're into the tradition, me too, Shout out to them. 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:27.800 And by the way, let's let's change this top. Well, 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:30.760 let's just change the perspective for two seconds. What about 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:32.760 if he had asked her in the past and she 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:36.600 said no, Yeah, that's a big that's you never know. 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:39.840 Maybe maybe he asked and she wasn't ready, or she 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.080 said no and now she felt like, damn, this is 0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:44.000 the right time to do it. There's many ways, there's 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:46.280 many sides to the stories. We don't know what happened. 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:48.840 He sure looks surprised in the photo. He was like, 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:55.280 oh my goodness. Okay, honey cat J said, hell Na, 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:57.440 if you want to do that, cool, but I ain't 0:19:57.480 --> 0:20:02.280 into it. The real soaking upset, d upset. All you 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.480 need is loyalty. The rest is bullshit. The ring, the marriage, 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:09.200 the gifts, all overrated, the field. I feel like that's 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:10.959 kind of like a little bit of your answer, Like 0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:13.200 I know you want the love and the fairy tale 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:15.200 because you you have spoken about it, but you're also 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:17.760 hard body, Like, hey, listen, you show me that you're 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:20.040 here from me and do the right thing and you 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:22.080 know things will come right, because I think I felt 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:24.400 that from you in the past. Yeah, I'll rock with you. 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.119 You know, I'll roll with me. I too in my life. 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:29.399 I want the ring because I want the pictures. I 0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:32.000 want the dress, I want the cake, I want them ma, 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.200 I want the party with the friends. Yeah, okay, that's it. 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:40.400 But there's something about that paper. When you sign that paper, 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.280 I don't know what happens, but I know a lot 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:43.960 of people have been together for a very long time, 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:47.320 eighteen years together. Fat though. Oh that's gonny to go 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:50.040 get married divorced in a year. I don't know why 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:53.560 that happens. So realistically, do you have to get married 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:57.639 legally in order to have a successful relationship? No, do 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:01.400 you have to. The ring just makes you feel, come, okay, 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.400 we're serious about each other. This is legit. We're really 0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:06.479