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Speaker 2: The crown is yours. I love every day clicks up

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Speaker 2: the Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 1: All Done Morning, everybody is dj n V, Jess Hilarious,

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Speaker 1: Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club. Laura La

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Speaker 1: Rosa is here as well, and we got a special

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Speaker 1: guest in the building, the Legend.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back. I am blessed.

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Speaker 1: How you I'm doing amazing.

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Speaker 3: All of this young energy. I'll take it on it.

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Speaker 2: I was born in nineteen seventy eight. If I'm young,

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Speaker 2: do you thank you?

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Speaker 3: Seventy eight? I got abroad it, I bought seven.

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Speaker 2: You never stopped working.

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Speaker 4: No, you're here today because you got a new show,

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Speaker 4: The Inside Fix. But you just put out a book

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Speaker 4: Spiritual Hygiene and December.

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Speaker 2: Why can't you ever keep still well?

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Speaker 3: Because I don't want to grow roots, want to grow roots?

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Speaker 3: You know, roots are not not helpful. God, it's good,

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Speaker 3: you know, don't We need it?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 3: We need the work, so we need the energy. So

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Speaker 3: I'm out here. I'm out here. I could be on

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Speaker 3: the poll, but this is so much more beneficial.

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Speaker 2: Let's see the first episode hilarious.

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Speaker 1: So for people that don't know, it's almost like, where

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Speaker 1: are they now?

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Speaker 3: Where are we now? Not them? Yes, where are we now?

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Speaker 1: Break down the show?

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Speaker 3: Yeah. What I did was we went back into some

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Speaker 3: of our highest rated shows with the most of them, huh,

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Speaker 3: the most I know. I'm a mean machine. And we

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Speaker 3: looked at those shows for issues that are going on today,

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Speaker 3: because the way we deal with stuff today is very

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Speaker 3: different than we did twelve years ago. Twelve years ago,

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Speaker 3: these six women had a problem and they pulled their

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Speaker 3: their copy down off the internet. Today, you know, that

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Speaker 3: would be ig I T Facebook, they would be canceled,

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Speaker 3: and so how we deal with it today? But the

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Speaker 3: issue of breakdown among women is just as prevalent today

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Speaker 3: as it was back then. So how do we deal

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Speaker 3: with that? How do we address that? So that's what

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Speaker 3: we're doing. We're going back into the shows and looking

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Speaker 3: at how to take those issues and apply them.

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Speaker 1: I love how you did it.

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Speaker 4: Why did you find that more appealing than revisiting I mean,

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Speaker 4: why did you decide to revisit older stories instead of

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Speaker 4: helping new families?

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Speaker 3: Because I'm old, I'm old and season, you know, because

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Speaker 3: we just keep reinventing stuff and we don't even really

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Speaker 3: get all the juice out of what we got. We

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Speaker 3: didn't get all the juice out of fix my life.

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Speaker 3: That's why we can go back in and do it

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Speaker 3: again today. The things that are applicable back then, I

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Speaker 3: did shows with mothers and daughters, and now you have

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Speaker 3: mothers divorcing or daughters divorcing, mothers, children not speaking to parents.

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Speaker 3: That wasn't going on back then. So yeah, and also

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Speaker 3: to let people know that sometimes you don't even know

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Speaker 3: what you're looking at, because people looked at that and

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Speaker 3: got into the characters and the people, but they were

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Speaker 3: looking at a whole nother thing, just like in the

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Speaker 3: world today, we don't really know what we're looking at.

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Speaker 2: Expound on that we don't really know.

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Speaker 3: We're trying to get me shot. Do I look so,

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Speaker 3: Molly and.

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Speaker 2: I DMX could have lived to be on this show.

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Speaker 3: He wasn't ready. I think he was willing, but he

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Speaker 3: wasn't ready, And you got to be both. Can't be

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Speaker 3: just ready and not willing or willing. He wasn't He

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Speaker 3: wasn't ready. You also talk about lady balls, lady ball

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Speaker 3: who yes, okay, now, but we gotta understand that lady

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Speaker 3: balls and testicles are different. Okay, because testical You see

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Speaker 3: what you see now, The hair you see on testicles

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Speaker 3: is real.

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Speaker 1: Get defended.

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Speaker 3: You see a lot of women, because of the the

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Speaker 3: way we are conditioned and programmed and educated, take on

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Speaker 3: masculine qualities, you know, and and they think it's powerful.

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Speaker 3: But feminine power is very different than masculine power. Feminine

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Speaker 3: power is assertive, masculine power is aggressive. Feminine power is directive,

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Speaker 3: it's nurturing, it's nourishing, it's clear, and masculine power is

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Speaker 3: often domineering and controlling and directive as opposed to collaborative. So,

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Speaker 3: lady balls, you know a lot of men today want

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Speaker 3: to be the boss and they want to be the

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Speaker 3: diva and have no leadership skills whatsoever. Lady balls are

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Speaker 3: how a powerful woman lives in, moves and stands in

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Speaker 3: her power in a way that nurtures, nourishes, supports, heels,

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Speaker 3: grows other people. It's not testicles. Testicles are aggressive. They

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Speaker 3: got here and sometimes they smell. Don't ask me.

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Speaker 5: I know, you know.

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Speaker 2: And it's interesting.

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Speaker 4: In one of the episodes, you point out that women

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Speaker 4: don't know the distinction between assertiveness and aggression.

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Speaker 2: How do you advise women to create a distinction between

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Speaker 2: the two.

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Speaker 3: Well, lead with your heart and not with your head.

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Speaker 3: Lead with your heart. That's that's ladyballs. Lady balls don't

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Speaker 3: come from the crotch, They come from the heart.

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Speaker 1: Did you come up with the certain lady balls?

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Speaker 2: Did you come up?

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Speaker 3: I said it for so long, but then when I

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Speaker 3: went to buy the trademarket, people have said that, but

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Speaker 3: I spell mind differently, and nobody else has a deck

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Speaker 3: of cards. My team created a deck of cards so

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Speaker 3: you can pull your lady ball card. Talking about balls,

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Speaker 3: mister Willie doesn't have to show up.

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Speaker 6: What do you say to women who have like because

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Speaker 6: a lot of women shy away from leading with their

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Speaker 6: heart because they're called to emotional or they they're scared

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Speaker 6: to be vulnerable and make decisions based off of emotion

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Speaker 6: because they think that they're not thinking clearly.

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Speaker 3: Why do you think the heart is about emotion?

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Speaker 6: That's what most people would relate heartfelt decisions too. When

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Speaker 6: it comes to women, well, who men? Yes, men, because

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Speaker 6: most women are so far out.

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Speaker 3: Of their heart they don't even know what the heart does.

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Speaker 3: The truth is that the mind was created to be

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Speaker 3: a slave of the heart, but we've made the heart

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Speaker 3: a slave of the mind or the intellect. Heart centered,

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Speaker 3: is grounded, It's clarity and again, nourishing, nurturing, edifying. It's progressive.

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Speaker 3: The heart is progressive. The mind gets stuck in the loop.

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Speaker 3: That's why we have therapy. Don't nobody go to nothing

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Speaker 3: to try to get their heart fixed. They trying to

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Speaker 3: fix their head. The heart doesn't get stuck in the loop.

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Speaker 3: The heart remains open because the heart is where God speaks.

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Speaker 3: God doesn't speak in the intellect. God speaks in the heart.

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Speaker 6: When did you realize how to best use your Lady Balls?

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Speaker 6: Because I saw you talk about you know, when you

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Speaker 6: were raising your kids, you were being the father and

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Speaker 6: you weren't the mother. You weren't the most nurturing. So

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Speaker 6: when did you realize how to lean into that?

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Speaker 3: I think when I lost my first daughter and I

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Speaker 3: had to raise her daughter m and I looked at

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Speaker 3: all the mistakes I had made, and I didn't want

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Speaker 3: to be continue to be a father, and so I

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Speaker 3: got a chance to be a grandma doing a mom's job.

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Speaker 3: So that was really really helpful for me. The other

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Speaker 3: thing is that you know, I'm a student of a

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Speaker 3: course of miracles, and a course of miracles says I

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Speaker 3: must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace.

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Speaker 3: So it comes a moment when we make a choice

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Speaker 3: or decision, but we wrestle with it. We're not at

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Speaker 3: peace with it. And Ladyballs allows you to be assertive

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Speaker 3: and clear grounded and peaceful. A lot of decisions I

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Speaker 3: make with my head leave me in doubt and flux

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Speaker 3: and craziness. But when I really do decide with my

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Speaker 3: heart and I'm at peace, that makes sense. Yeah. So

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Speaker 3: I think that's how I learned how to use Lady

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Speaker 3: Ball's grandmother.

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Speaker 1: You give yourself grace, though, because when you talk about.

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Speaker 3: It, absolutely I give myself a lot of grace. And

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Speaker 3: when I say, like I was a horrible mother, which

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Speaker 3: I say in my book, or when I say I

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Speaker 3: made a lot of mistakes with my son, with my children,

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Speaker 3: it's from a learning, not from the condemnation. I don't

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Speaker 3: judge it. You know, my kids chose me. I was

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Speaker 3: just trying to get some nookie. They decided they wanted

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Speaker 3: they decided they wanted to be born. So here they come,

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Speaker 3: intruding in my nude, in the citious activity. They chose me.

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Speaker 3: So they came to learn too. So we're teaching each other.

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Speaker 3: Grace is very important, even.

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Speaker 5: With your your past, because your new show is you

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Speaker 5: know the inside fix.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 7: So you said you chose to go back and you

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Speaker 7: know to previous cases. Right, do you feel at any

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Speaker 7: time back then you got it wrong?

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Speaker 3: Or you mean, oh no, absolutely not not there. You

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Speaker 3: know why I prayed about every show, and that work

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Speaker 3: was my ministry that was led by spirit. One of

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Speaker 3: the reasons we're doing the inside fix is because back

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Speaker 3: then I did the work. Now I want people to

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Speaker 3: do the work. Every single show comes with a worksheet.

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Speaker 3: Had a television show give you homework? No, so that

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Speaker 3: you can look at the show and say, where is

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Speaker 3: this in my life? How do I do this? Where

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Speaker 3: have I done this? Where is this going on? Download

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Speaker 3: the work free? Free? Don't we like free? Free worksheet?

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Speaker 3: So I did the work, then now you do the work.

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Speaker 4: I want to ask you a question about what you

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Speaker 4: said about women having masculine qualities. Masculine qualities but no

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Speaker 4: leadership of ability.

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Speaker 3: They want to be the boss and the diva, but

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Speaker 3: they don't have leadership tendencies, leadership training, leadership, not even qualities,

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Speaker 3: because you can have leadership qualities, but you have to

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Speaker 3: have The leader has to have a heart. We see

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Speaker 3: what it looks like when a leader doesn't have a heart.

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Speaker 3: Let me, I don't look Somali.

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Speaker 2: Is that something you can learn or is that something

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Speaker 2: that has to be in you already?

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Speaker 3: Well? I think that leaders are born, but they definitely

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Speaker 3: have to be trained. Some people say leaders are trained.

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Speaker 3: They're not born. I believe leaders are born. Some people

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Speaker 3: just rise into it. But there's certain qualities and characteristics

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Speaker 3: that an effective leader needs. And the one thing is

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Speaker 3: heart for people. Another thing is a vision. Leadership isn't

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Speaker 3: just about ordering people around and telling them what to do.

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Speaker 3: A leader has to have a vision and then you

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Speaker 3: get people to buy into the vision and you lead

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Speaker 3: them in that vision in a way that's whole and

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Speaker 3: healthy for everybody.

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Speaker 2: Know, you'ret in corporate America all the time.

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Speaker 4: A lot of people in leadership roles and leadership positions,

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Speaker 4: but they're not actually leader.

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Speaker 3: No vision. They're controllers, they're demagogues, they're bullies, they're all

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Speaker 3: sorts of things. And whenever money is the only thing

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Speaker 3: that leads you, you're going to have a problem.

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Speaker 1: What would you say to somebody who was, like say,

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Speaker 1: in a workplace or in a relationshiphip that wants that

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Speaker 1: work relationship or real relationship to work.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: One of the exercises you did on the first episode,

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Speaker 1: which was from what twenty fourteen I Love It was

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Speaker 1: you brought everybody to a department store and you made

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Speaker 1: everybody shop for each other. You buy this person outfit,

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Speaker 1: you buy this person. Yeah, and then when you did,

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Speaker 1: you said, well, why did you buy that person at?

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Speaker 1: How do you look at them? So what would you

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Speaker 1: advise for a couple or even somebody working to do

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Speaker 1: to try to fix it because you can't be there

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Speaker 1: or they can't afford you.

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Speaker 3: Well, they can read my book because in spiritual hygiene,

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Speaker 3: spiritual hygiene for relationships, spiritual hygiene for parenting, and spiritual

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Speaker 3: hygiene for the workplace. Here's the thing in any relationship.

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Speaker 3: Three things. Number one tell the truth. One of the

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Speaker 3: reasons our relationships are dying and drying up is because

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Speaker 3: we lie about everything. We lie about what we feel,

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Speaker 3: we lie about what we want. Sometimes it's not a

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Speaker 3: conscious lie, it's a lie driven by fear. The fear

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Speaker 3: of losing, the fear of being harmed. So we don't

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Speaker 3: want to be vulnerable. But in order for anything to

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Speaker 3: grow and thrive, you gotta have some truth. The other

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Speaker 3: thing is accountability. All the stuff that we're not seeing

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Speaker 3: in the world today, tell it to be accountable. Don't

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Speaker 3: blame and project own your stuff, own it and be

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Speaker 3: accountable for every choice, every word, every action, and know

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Speaker 3: what you're bringing to the table, particularly in the workplace,

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Speaker 3: people go to work to make money. People go to

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Speaker 3: work to you know, very few people go to work

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Speaker 3: to serve. So what do you bring into the table

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Speaker 3: that you want something in return? Give me, give me,

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Speaker 3: give me, give me, give me. What are you bringing

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Speaker 3: to the table? So I think that if we did

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Speaker 3: that in relationships, if we did that in the workplace,

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Speaker 3: we'd have a lot more respect than honor. For if

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Speaker 3: I can't believe that you your grandmother didn't die again

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Speaker 3: for the third time at me because you only died once,

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Speaker 3: you know, where do you do somebody in the face

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Speaker 3: and believe that what they're telling you is the truth,

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Speaker 3: that they're not trying to take you down or get

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Speaker 3: something from you?

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Speaker 2: Or it's can we stay? I want to stay here?

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Speaker 4: With the spiritual hygiene, first of all, I love to

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Speaker 4: tite a little book. What is spiritual hygiene and how

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Speaker 4: do people tend to it?

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Speaker 3: It's the daily, daily commitment and practice of clearing your mind,

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Speaker 3: of cleaning your heart, of strengthening your spirit. It's not

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Speaker 3: a one time thing, it's a practice. Your spirit has

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Speaker 3: to be maintained like your teeth. You know, are people

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Speaker 3: brush their teeth every day and go years without an

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Speaker 3: examination of their own thoughts, they got fungus in the mind.

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Speaker 3: Many people are emotionally constipated, still bad about mad about

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Speaker 3: something that happened in fifty six. How do you clean

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Speaker 3: that up? You brush your hair, you wash your hohuha,

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Speaker 3: you know, but you don't clean your spirit, your heart,

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Speaker 3: your mind. So spiritual hygiene is the daily practice of

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Speaker 3: clearing your mind, your heart, your soul, your inner life,

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Speaker 3: so that your outer life can have a different appearance.

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Speaker 2: So what about the people who pray?

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Speaker 4: They go to therapy, they meditate, they sage, but they

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Speaker 4: still stay toxic, Like, what's the prayer?

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Speaker 3: What is the prayer? Most people beg they don't pray,

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Speaker 3: you know, and all of that is good, But what's

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Speaker 3: your relationship? What is your relationship with God's souls, creative

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Speaker 3: spirit of your understanding? What is your relationship? God doesn't

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Speaker 3: want your you know, tides and service only. What is

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Speaker 3: the relationship? And most people, many people, I won't say most,

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Speaker 3: I'll say many. Many people learn the function and the

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Speaker 3: doing of the prayer, but they don't have the presence

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Speaker 3: in the prayer. They don't have the relationship with the

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Speaker 3: very thing they're praying too why I didn't. I grew

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Speaker 3: up in the church. You know, I'll tell you a

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Speaker 3: real funny story. They were trying to baptize me. I

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Speaker 3: must have been five or six in the Apostolic church.

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Speaker 3: You know that's everything's a sin. Yes, rolling your lip

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Speaker 3: is a sin. Anyway, they're getting ready to baptize me,

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Speaker 3: and you know, they dunk you down in the water

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Speaker 3: and stuff, and they say to me, will you take

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Speaker 3: do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and save you?

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Speaker 3: Now this is way back when, and that's how old

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Speaker 3: I am. When Jesus was still on the cross with

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Speaker 3: the little droplets of blood on his hands, I me,

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Speaker 3: the brilliant child. I look up and not say who him?

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Speaker 3: He can't help know I got beat until tomorrow. You

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Speaker 3: can't help me because you know he's died off the cross.

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Speaker 3: Now you don't see it. But we were fed religion,

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Speaker 3: we were told what to do. We weren't taught to

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Speaker 3: build a relationship. And it took me a long time

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Speaker 3: to know that it wasn't about the doing of it.

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Speaker 3: It was about the being in relationship, in the presence,

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Speaker 3: being present in the prayer, being still and knowing.

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Speaker 2: When did you learn to pray and big.

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Speaker 3: When the beggan wasn't working, I just got tired of begging.

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Speaker 3: And then I said, Okay, what am I doing wrong?

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Speaker 3: I'm begging and you're not paying attention, and this is

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Speaker 3: not the way God is supposed to respond. When I

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Speaker 3: learned two things, how to be still and how to

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Speaker 3: know how to be still within my mind, my heart

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Speaker 3: spiritual hygiene, and how to know when I was in

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Speaker 3: the presence, not when I was reaching out, but when

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Speaker 3: I was turning in, And that was it for me

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Speaker 3: instead of going out going.

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Speaker 2: We see a lot of.

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Speaker 7: What are some of the preventative measures that you take

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Speaker 7: so you can you can actually grow grow up with

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Speaker 7: these things, like like good spiritual hygiene, because a lot

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Speaker 7: of people would agree that bad spiritual hygiene is everywhere,

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Speaker 7: every waywhere. But if people knew how to you know, simple, simple,

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Speaker 7: you know what I'm saying, Like how seven minutes three

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Speaker 7: times a day for twenty one consecutive days, shut your mouth,

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Speaker 7: turn off everything, be still seven minutes three times a

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Speaker 7: day for twenty one days. You know, many people would

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Speaker 7: rather use their front teeth and shut their mouth and

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Speaker 7: get off the phone. That's right, Just to be still

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Speaker 7: because in the stillness, everything's going to rise to the surface.

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Speaker 7: You can journal it out, you can speak it out.

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Speaker 7: You just become aware of it.

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Speaker 3: Because the first step, the first foundational principle of spiritual hygiene,

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Speaker 3: is self awareness. People don't know that their armpits think.

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Speaker 3: They don't know that they talk too loud. They don't

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Speaker 3: know that. You know, people don't know nothing about theirself

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Speaker 3: because they're looking for everybody else to tell them self awareness.

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Speaker 3: Start there, seven minutes, three times a day, every day,

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Speaker 3: for twenty one consecutive days. It'll take you somewhere.

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Speaker 4: Why do you think people are more committed to physical

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Speaker 4: hygiene the spiritual hygiene because the spirit controls everything.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, but again, most of us were religiousized. We

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Speaker 3: weren't spiritualized, and so we want to intellectualize the spirit

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Speaker 3: as opposed to spiritualize in the intellect to go in

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Speaker 3: there and get that up. And so we we we

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Speaker 3: don't like everything else we're taught it's a doing. Hm.

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Speaker 3: We know how to do spiritual things? Do we know

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Speaker 3: how to be in the presence of spirit? You know

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Speaker 3: how to do that? And it's frightening. And the thing

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Speaker 3: that frightens us more than anything else. I think in

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Speaker 3: my years of working with people, it is their own

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Speaker 3: spiritual power that I am ness. You know, we are

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Speaker 3: an eachness and the allness of God, and that eachness

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Speaker 3: is powerful. And people are so convinced that they're unworthy

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Speaker 3: and less than till they have a difficult time embracing

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Speaker 3: and stepping into the power and the greatness.

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Speaker 4: I wonder why, Like my daughter asked me that my

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Speaker 4: daughter said to me, and my daughter said, Daddy, why

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Speaker 4: do we pray but we don't go to church?

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Speaker 2: And I said, because we are Jehoa.

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Speaker 4: We believe in spirit, not really like you know, going

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Speaker 4: to church to me as a religious practice, But we

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Speaker 4: are people that believe in the spirit.

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Speaker 3: But can I ask you a question, is it? Are

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Speaker 3: you open to another possibility? Praying is going to church?

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Speaker 3: Praying is going to church. You're going in the temple. No,

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Speaker 3: you're not. That you are a temple, that you are

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Speaker 3: the temple of God. So praying is going to church.

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Speaker 3: Tell her that next time, WI, this is church.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely.

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Speaker 3: My uh, I'm grandmother ring now I'm raising my great grandson.

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Speaker 3: That's why I look so young and fabulous. And and

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Speaker 3: we pray at night before we go to bed. So

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Speaker 3: one day he said, uh, yeah, yay, that's what he

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Speaker 3: calls me. Yeah, yeah, Exactly who is it that I'm

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Speaker 3: praying to? And I said, you're higher self your I

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Speaker 3: am that that thing that people call God. But it's

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Speaker 3: not out there, it's in here. He said, where where

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Speaker 3: is it? I said, it's in your heart, it's in

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Speaker 3: your soul, it's in your DNA, it's in your bone mouth.

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Speaker 3: So you know, that's how I'm teaching him. Nobody taught

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Speaker 3: me that. They taught me the guy up on the

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Speaker 3: cross with the little droplets of blood. And when I

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Speaker 3: said to them, you know him, he can't help me,

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Speaker 3: how's he gonna help me? And I got beat? Ooh

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Speaker 3: that was I just remember, I'm being traumatized right now.

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Speaker 3: I'm having trauma memory.

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Speaker 6: But in moments like that, right with your great grandson,

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Speaker 6: because then he'll grow up, he'll go through life. But

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Speaker 6: you talk about in your book, like even like ancestral

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Speaker 6: trauma being a part of things that you got to

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Speaker 6: like cleanse from. When you're young, you don't even know

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Speaker 6: what you're feeling. Even sometimes when you're grown, if you

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Speaker 6: don't have certain experiences or pay attention. So how do

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Speaker 6: you keep cleansing your spirit or yourself, because at each

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Speaker 6: level of life things hit you different.

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Speaker 3: Well, he is a motionly literate he will be an

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Speaker 3: emotionally literate black man. Because I recognized I was raising

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Speaker 3: somebody's father and somebody's husband. I wanted him to be

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Speaker 3: emotionally literate. I wasn't raised that way. So he knows

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Speaker 3: the distinction between frustration and anxiety. He knows when he's sad,

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Speaker 3: he knows when he's happy, he knows when he's frustrated.

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Speaker 3: Why because I taught him how to do that. Most

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Speaker 3: of us are, many adults are emotionally illiterate. We know happy, sad, good, bad, right, wrong.

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Speaker 3: We don't know frustration, disappointment, exhilaration, bliss. Some of us

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Speaker 3: don't even know peace or joy. So it's up to

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Speaker 3: you do your work. That's your spiritual hygiene. In those

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Speaker 3: seven minutes, three times a day, for twenty one consecutive days,

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Speaker 3: call forth joy. What does joy feel like in my body?

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Speaker 3: What does peace feel like in my body? What does

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Speaker 3: we're in my body? Is disappointment? The body is a

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Speaker 3: living organism. Talk to it. It will respond. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you know in this generation. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I feel like which one?

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Speaker 3: Because I spend many.

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Speaker 1: This generation. I would say from I would say maybe

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Speaker 1: from ten to twenty five. Let's talk there, Okay. I

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Speaker 1: feel like sometimes talking hard to them. It's they don't

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Speaker 1: understand it, nor do they get it right. It feels

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Speaker 1: they feel a lot differently. When I see some of

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Speaker 1: your past shows and your new shows. You talk hard

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Speaker 1: to people, you talk real to people. Do you feel

435
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: like the new generation is too emotional or too soft

436
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 1: when it comes to seeing things at face value?

437
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 6: Think you can add us in there too. The people

438
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 6: in their thirties too. I think you can add us

439
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 6: in that.

440
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 3: Well, you know what, because nobody told them the truth.

441
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 3: They talked at them, not with them. Talk with somebody.

442
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 3: The greatest skiff we have is a conversation. Most people

443
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 3: don't know how to have one. But when you're going

444
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 3: into somebody telling them what they did wrong, what's wrong

445
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 3: with them, asking them why they do that? Come here, baby,

446
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 3: come in, sit right here, put that down, stop it,

447
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 3: you know, be present. One of the reasons in young

448
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 3: people today, and I would say ten and up are

449
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 3: so emotionally disconnected is because nobody's present with them. They

450
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 3: sit in the back of the car, on the device,

451
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 3: looking at the back of someone's head who's on the device.

452
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 3: Many of them don't eat at a table. They don't

453
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 3: know how to set a table. They eat out of

454
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 3: a styrofoam box, on their lap or in a car.

455
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 3: So some of the things that kept us grounded and

456
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 3: human and connected, we've given them out. You know, a

457
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 3: lot of them can't cook. I've met a twenty three

458
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,719
Speaker 3: year old who he can't cook. I said, well, how

459
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 3: do you eat? Uber eats? What is not a recipe?

460
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 2: Right, But it's like that.

461
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: Not on my watch, you be human resources. Not on

462
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: my watch, you teach it, you be at the principal's office.

463
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,120
Speaker 1: But those are the things that my teacher said.

464
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 3: I wouldn't do that to a ten year old. I

465
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 3: wouldn't do that to the I did that to those

466
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 3: disrespectful women because I those were my lady balls. Let

467
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 3: me set this standard right here. Not on my watch.

468
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 3: People will say that. They don't say the next part,

469
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 3: will you disrespect another woman? They don't say that part.

470
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 3: They just get on the Not on my way, am

471
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 3: I putting all these little greasy fingers.

472
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 2: Okay, don't worry about don't even worry about. Don't worry

473
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 2: about I don't even worry about it.

474
00:27:52,240 --> 00:28:02,120
Speaker 3: They're not smiling, but we I wouldn't talk to them

475
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 3: like that. You know, those women were conscious and intentional

476
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: in their maliciousness, and I was not going to accommodate it.

477
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to tell the truth in this way,

478
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,399
Speaker 3: and sometimes it has to be cold water in your face.

479
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes it just has.

480
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 4: To be who holds you accountable, when when your hygiene

481
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 4: is off, when when your spiritual hygiene is I'll.

482
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 3: Have a whole team of people. They oh, hell yeah,

483
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 3: this is how they say it. Mama, I don't mean

484
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 3: no harm or what I've taught them to do is

485
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 3: to ask me for a hall pass. Because I'm the

486
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 3: elder in the circle. You know, I have a whole school.

487
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 3: I have a whole school. I have students, I have graduates,

488
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 3: I have ministers, coaches, and so I say, listen, don't

489
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 3: let me die. If you see me running out in

490
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: traffic with you know, toilet paper on my shoe, don't

491
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 3: let me die. Tell me the truth. So they'll ask

492
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 3: me for a hall pass. You know, when a hall pass,

493
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 3: you could go anywhere. I did, Mama need a hall

494
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 3: pass Okay, let me get the brown liquor, get it,

495
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 3: and then they'll tell me the truth. And because they

496
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 3: love me, I can hear it. And it's nothing worse

497
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 3: than to treat somebody how to be and then they

498
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 3: correct you when you ain't being that way. I love it.

499
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 4: How do we tell the difference between protecting our peace

500
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 4: and avoiding accountability?

501
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 3: Ah? Good question, Yeah, integrity to tell the truth about it.

502
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 3: Tell the truth because you know when you're avoiding, or

503
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 3: you know when you're afraid, or you know when you're

504
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 3: denying or projecting. You know, you know, I don't have

505
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 3: to ask you, you know, tell the truth about it.

506
00:29:55,440 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 3: And protecting your peace or creating a boundary looks and

507
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 3: feels very different than erecting a wall. And sometimes people

508
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 3: erect walls and call it a boundary. No. No, A

509
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,239
Speaker 3: boundary is built to keep you safe as you let

510
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: other people in. If your wall is up, you're holding

511
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 3: people out. You can create a boundary. This is what

512
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 3: I need you to do because I want to be

513
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 3: peaceful in our connection. That's a boundary. Well, this is

514
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 3: what I'm gonna ask you not to do so we

515
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 3: can be peaceful in our connection. That's a boundary. No,

516
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 3: you can't come up in here with that. That's a wall.

517
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 3: That's a wall.

518
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 6: I saw you just sit down with Oprah and you

519
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 6: talked about your decision not to go to your daughter's funeral. Yeah,

520
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 6: and you kind of put up your boundaries just because

521
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 6: of some of the things that was happening within your family, well.

522
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 3: Not to family with one particular grandson, her youngest son,

523
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 3: who was just out of his mind. And I know

524
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 3: it was grief, but I wasn't gonna put myself jeopardy.

525
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to disrespect

526
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 3: his mother by disrespecting her mother. And I didn't know

527
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 3: what he might do, but I was a trigger for him.

528
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 3: I knew I was a trigger for him, and I

529
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 3: had to tell the truth about that.

530
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: How difficult was that for you?

531
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 3: Well, once I made the decision, because I made it

532
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 3: from a place of love and care, I was okay

533
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 3: with it. So I didn't have to go to the funeral.

534
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 3: I went the day before and I had my own

535
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 3: thing with her. She was still gonna be dead the

536
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 3: next day. I didn't have to be there. You understand

537
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 3: the things that we do out of tradition out of

538
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 3: habit that we don't even want to do. I'm not

539
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 3: doing that. I'm too old and I don't have wrinkles yet,

540
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 3: so I don't want wrinkles.

541
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 2: I don't, do you know what I mean?

542
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 4: For the same reason that you just said, right like,

543
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 4: I want to remember the person the last time I

544
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 4: saw him. I don't want to remember him in the casket.

545
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 4: Do you feel like funerals are necessary for the grieving process.

546
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 3: If we, as people of color, we're doing our traditional

547
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 3: burial rights. Oh yes, I think it's very necessary to

548
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 3: lay that spirit to rest, to make sure that we're

549
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: lifting that spirit and light. That's a very different thing.

550
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 3: Burial rights are very different than a funeral. Can I

551
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 3: tell you something. This is gonna sound totally disgusting, but

552
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it. Okay, I bought my casket. My

553
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 3: casket is bought. It's on not on layaway, lay away.

554
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 3: I'm playing it off, but it's bought. Let me tell

555
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 3: you why I bought.

556
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 1: My two me and my wife we bought.

557
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 5: I was you bought it?

558
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: And was it like twenty seven hundred dollars twenty eight

559
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 3: hundred dollars.

560
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: More than that?

561
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, I did.

562
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: But the reason I did because I didn't want that.

563
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 2: I didn't.

564
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 1: That's one thing I didn't want my kids to have

565
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 1: to worry think about.

566
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 3: I didn't either. And also when I I had to

567
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 3: bury my daughter and they charged me ten thousand dollars

568
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 3: for a casket, and I discovered that from the manufacture

569
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 3: it was twenty three hundred. I said, let me go

570
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 3: down here and get me a casket. So I went

571
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 3: down and bought my casket and paid for it exactly

572
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,959
Speaker 3: what I want. And when I'm not here anymore, all

573
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 3: they have to do is call, they'll deliver it in

574
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 3: twenty four hours.

575
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it in will to get cremated.

576
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 4: You cremated and throw my ashes somewhere because you gotta

577
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 4: think about it in one hundred years be arounded.

578
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 3: That is you. Yeah, I can understand that. I don't

579
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 3: particularly want to be cremated.

580
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 6: How did your family feel about that? Like your wife

581
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 6: and your kids.

582
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,479
Speaker 7: My thing is like, if you buy a casket too early, right,

583
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 7: and then you know what, if you're skinny when you buy,

584
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 7: then you die big.

585
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 5: It's like, damn, you still have to pay for them?

586
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 3: Then no, you they'll just take a little of the

587
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 3: padding out. But I want to go back to you

588
00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 3: with this funeral, because the funeral is it really should

589
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 3: be a celebration of the life, and it's turned into

590
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 3: this whole money making thing and it's the hole in

591
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 3: the ground. It's fifteen hundred dollars or more. Now. So

592
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: what I say is, if we're going to celebrate the

593
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,280
Speaker 3: person's life, and if we're going to do the rights.

594
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 3: For example, in my lineage and my tradition as a Uropa,

595
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 3: we once the person makes transition, we do a nine

596
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 3: day prayer process, a forty day prayer process, and in

597
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 3: a one year prayer process to make sure that spirit

598
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 3: is lifted and elevated. As a as a two slaky

599
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 3: Cherokee or I walk in the nation of the Lakota people,

600
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 3: they plan their funeral and they are cremated, many of them.

601
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 3: They don't go into ground. They go back to the

602
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 3: earth and they're singing and dance. There's a whole celebration

603
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 3: that doesn't have And we do have food because I

604
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 3: will say that funeral chicken is some of the best chicken.

605
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 3: And so if we're going to do that, then let's

606
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 3: do that. But just to sit around and weep, and

607
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 3: you know, make ourselves crazy, and so many people get

608
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 3: stuck in the morning bad spiritual hygiene. Grieving is natural,

609
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 3: and I talk about grieving as a teacher and an

610
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 3: initiation in the book Morning is Bad Spiritual Hygiene, Morning

611
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 3: says that there's regret, there's remorse. That morning is the

612
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 3: process of because this happened, or I lost this, or

613
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 3: this person isn't here, this part of me can no

614
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 3: longer go on. Like when I lost my first daughter,

615
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 3: I lost my mind. But with my second daughter, I

616
00:35:55,280 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 3: didn't have the same feeling heaviness, and I didn't have

617
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 3: that because I knew it was coming and I was

618
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 3: prepared for it. And I can remember the days when

619
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 3: I felt bad about feeling good. People think, because someone dies,

620
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 3: you gotta feel bad, And I would catch myself feeling

621
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: bad about feeling good. Bad spiritual hygiene. That's mourning. Feeling

622
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 3: bad and believing that your life can't go on, or

623
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 3: you have resent or you resentment or remorse, or because

624
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 3: this happened, you can't do that, or you should have

625
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,720
Speaker 3: done this. That's mourning.

626
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 2: Think that part of the grief process, though.

627
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,760
Speaker 3: It is a part of the process, but it happens

628
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 3: organically and it passes. You know, it takes different amount

629
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: of time for everybody. But when I'll never love again,

630
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: my life is over. I'm going out need some worms.

631
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 3: That's mourning. That's a different thing.

632
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 4: You talk about unresolved grief living in the body the

633
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 4: same way bacteria lives in the mouth.

634
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: What's the daily practice to clean it up?

635
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 3: Acknowledgy, acknowledging. You know, when you feel it, ask and again.

636
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 3: Building that relationship with the body. Part of spiritual hygiene

637
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 3: is somatic. You know, like we have a body, there's

638
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 3: a distinction between the physical body and the somatic body.

639
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 3: The somatic body is the energy and the feeling in

640
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 3: the body. So we'll walk around and we know we

641
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 3: have a physical body. Oh this pain, that leg, that,

642
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 3: But what is the feeling in there? Okay, your knee

643
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 3: is hurting? Okay, what's happened to me? What are you

644
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 3: doing here? So part of grief has to be somatic,

645
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 3: and people will grieve and get in the bed and

646
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 3: stay there. You can be in the bed, but then

647
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 3: get up and stretch, get up and move. Where is

648
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 3: the grief in your body? You know, the grief for

649
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 3: my babies, my daughters. It's in my heart and where

650
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: it used to be in the center, now it's just

651
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 3: around the edges, and sometimes it comes up. My oldest

652
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 3: daughter died on Christmas Day, so I've turned Christmas into

653
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 3: a whole thing. It was her favorite holiday. So Christmas

654
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 3: for me is not a day of morning. It's all

655
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 3: we haven't for I will have a tree if I

656
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 3: got to go out and cut it down myself, you know,

657
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 3: because that grief is there, but it's there in celebration,

658
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 3: not in mourning and remorse. So get in the body

659
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:34,479
Speaker 3: where's everybody has grief about loss of something, something didn't

660
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 3: go right? But do you are you in relationship with it?

661
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,839
Speaker 3: Where is it? So it'll show up and now you'll

662
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 3: be cussing out the uber driver. No, that maybe grief

663
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 3: that was unexpressed and it's in the body. Get in

664
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 3: there and find out where it is.

665
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,839
Speaker 7: Have you ever had a case right where you say

666
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 7: these people won't needy more than me. I don't think

667
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,919
Speaker 7: I can't you know what I'm saying, Like, like after

668
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 7: you've helped them and they went on, did you ever say,

669
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 7: like I need to check on these.

670
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 5: People or maybe they need something far beyond what I

671
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 5: can do.

672
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 3: My own self.

673
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry.

674
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 3: See it's hard to answer that question because I don't

675
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 3: have cases. I have assignments. Gotcha, have you?

676
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 2: Assignment never been too great? You ever said you know

677
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 2: what you need to.

678
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 3: Jesus, it has felt that way. And then when I

679
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: get still and go within and to get the same

680
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 3: guidance that sent the people to me is the guidance

681
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,240
Speaker 3: I get to find out what to do, it always

682
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: works out because I'm not attached to the outcome. I'm

683
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 3: really not. I'm really not attached to the outcome. I'm

684
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 3: sending to do what I do, and I do what

685
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 3: I do. What you do when it is your business.

686
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 3: You know, you've seen the show. There were some people

687
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,439
Speaker 3: who fought me all the way. The poor little child

688
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 3: that ran out and left, and didn't you know she

689
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 3: wanted to beat me up. She told me she was

690
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 3: gonna cut me, and I was like, my son was

691
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 3: there and he would have cut her, and that would

692
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 3: have just went the whole thing.

693
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 5: So I figured.

694
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 3: To just let her go. I've had guests walk out

695
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 3: OUTTHEA from Love and Hip Hop and she left. I

696
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 3: had another couple, Uh, they said they didn't trust me,

697
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 3: I left. You don't trust me. I'm out. There's nothing

698
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 3: we're gonna do here. I'm not attached to the outcome.

699
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: I'm attached to the process.

700
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 5: I think.

701
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 7: I think your work has gotten us attached to the

702
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 7: outcome so far, too many times I've seen. And that's

703
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 7: also why I loved watching a show as well, because

704
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 7: I really love you a person. Oh, let me shopping shopping,

705
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 7: it's this lovely bout your not cover my lady balls.

706
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 3: It did developments. I got all the number of times

707
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 3: I went upstairs and forgot what I was doing, and I, yeah,

708
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 3: that's a dh.

709
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, color got you left right up there.

710
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 3: That's all right.

711
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 7: But the reason why I asked her is because Kevin

712
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,280
Speaker 7: McCall I was watching that. That's something that I remembered.

713
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 7: And I had no idea that he had had.

714
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 5: All we saw.

715
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 7: All we see is Kevin's antics then and now right.

716
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 7: But I had no idea that it was attached to

717
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 7: his upbringing. You know, you had it, you were You

718
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 7: got him to reveal some things about his upbringing, that

719
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 7: his mom she wasn't the best mom, and how she

720
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 7: was there not trying to take accountability either, and that's why.

721
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 7: And when he'll go do her for a while, then

722
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 7: it will come back and it's more antics. And that

723
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 7: made me think of I'm like, damn, well, I need

724
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,879
Speaker 7: to call y'all to see and talk to him again,

725
00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 7: you know what I mean, Like, that's why I asked you.

726
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 7: You ever after helping somebody say, look, they need something

727
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 7: far more than me or do are you attached to

728
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 7: the alchemist?

729
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 3: I'm not. And he got what he came to get.

730
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,280
Speaker 3: It's up to him to use it. That's his spiritual hygiene.

731
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 3: Like you go to the dentist, they fill your cavity.

732
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 3: But if you now then go eat fifty five pounds

733
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 3: of gummy bears, or when you have a temporary filling

734
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 3: and you're trying to you know, eat popcorn, that's a problem.

735
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 3: So in the same way with God source creator, he

736
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,399
Speaker 3: can only do so much. It can only do so much,

737
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 3: and then the rest of it is on us. That's

738
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 3: why it's the inside fix. We could only do so much.

739
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 3: Kevin got and every single one of my guests that

740
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 3: was on that show, you know, I'm so grateful to

741
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 3: them because the show really wasn't for them. The show

742
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 3: was for the viewers, and I told them that I

743
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 3: would tell them that I want to be real clear,

744
00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 3: this ain't even about you. You were chosen, left guided

745
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 3: to be a demonstration, and how you show up it's

746
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 3: not only going to help you, it's going to help

747
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 3: the fews. We told you that.

748
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 6: I remember you did the you had the really big

749
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 6: daddy list daughter segments that you would do and you

750
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 6: would talk about the uns like the things that they

751
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 6: need to like or the words they need to know,

752
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,360
Speaker 6: like Daddy's gone, and just the reality of like moving

753
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 6: forward from and I remember that my trigger. But I

754
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:25,879
Speaker 6: used to watch the show because me and my dad

755
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 6: at that time, it was like early on in us

756
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 6: trying to figure out, Okay, he's new back into my life,

757
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 6: how do I feel? Do I have questions? And I

758
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 6: got to a point where I was like, all right,

759
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 6: you weren't here. Here's where my life is. Like I

760
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 6: don't want to be a victim or like a product

761
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 6: of that.

762
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure she understands.

763
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 6: But you're a serious Your series helped me though, because

764
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 6: my mom was one of those people that was like

765
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 6: very like she just acts like it didn't happen. You

766
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 6: were you acknowledged that it happened, but you didn't let

767
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 6: people live in it. So it helped me to realize, like, Okay,

768
00:43:57,880 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 6: what are we going to do here, Like what are

769
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 6: we going to do with the relationship or what are

770
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 6: we gonna do with yourself? And how you feel about that?

771
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 6: And if it's not accepted from him or responded to

772
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 6: him the way you want, you just you can only

773
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 6: control yourself, yeah.

774
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 3: Because you get to choose and he gets to choose.

775
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 3: And sometimes the shame of it, the guilt of it,

776
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 3: A lot of dads, moms, people can't show up. Husbands

777
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 3: who cheat come back and they can never get it together,

778
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 3: or wives because did you know wives were cheating?

779
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 2: Yes, black men don't cheat, but boy, what women's.

780
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 3: Exactly? Yeah. But you know, my my hope, my prayer,

781
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 3: and I appreciate so many people are so excited about

782
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 3: the show, about the book, and may my legacy be

783
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 3: if nothing else, that I gave people skills and tools

784
00:44:54,239 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 3: to take responsibility for themselves because the world we're in

785
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 3: right now, the mess that we're in, is because we

786
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 3: were anticipating somebody else doing for us what we needed

787
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 3: to do for ourselves, and so we got to do

788
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 3: the work. You have to do your work.

789
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 2: Accountability is a hard concept for a lot of people

790
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: to grasp.

791
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 3: Awareness, accountability, and integrity. Integrity where your mind, your heart,

792
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 3: and what you do are all aligned. Very often people

793
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 3: think one thing, feels something and do something else. Get

794
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 3: an integrity, line it up and be willing to piss

795
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 3: people off to maintain your own integrity. Honor yourself. Don't

796
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 3: dim your light. Don't set yourself on fire to keep

797
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 3: other people warm. Don't dim your light like that. Take

798
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 3: responsibility and embrace everybody in the process.

799
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:04,799
Speaker 2: I got a couple more questions. You always say healing

800
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 2: isn't pretty.

801
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 4: Why do people romanticize spirituality but reject the mess that's

802
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 4: required to actually.

803
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 3: Evolve, intellectualizing the spirit like people think spiritual people shouldn't

804
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 3: get angry. I'm from Brooklyn. I don't get angry. I

805
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 3: get pissed the f off, and I'm coming for you. Okay,

806
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 3: I'm all right, you know what I'm talking about. I

807
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 3: grew up with the bodega on the corner. Okay, So

808
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:38,359
Speaker 3: I just don't do that. I'm responsible for myself when

809
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 3: I do it, If I do it, and I don't

810
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 3: stay stuck there, and that's not going to become an

811
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 3: identity for me. Let me see you abuse a child,

812
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 3: I'm coming for you, all guns drawn, cussing like a

813
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 3: sailor and hit you in your head, punch you right

814
00:46:54,560 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: in your throat, disrespect the woman in my press. I'm

815
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 3: coming for you, you know. So, even though I'm a

816
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 3: deeply spiritual person, there's sometimes when you have to again

817
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 3: throw cold water in somebody's face. But people want to

818
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 3: intellectualize spirituality. Oh, you have to be kind and loving, yes,

819
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 3: you do all that, but sometimes you are human and

820
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 3: it's okay. In terms of it being healing. Not being

821
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 3: pretty is because most of us are not aware of

822
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 3: the depth of healing that is required. We're not aware.

823
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: We think it's just if he would behave or if

824
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 3: they would come back, or if they would say I'm sorry,

825
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 3: that it would be okay. It's so much deeper than

826
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 3: so much deeper, and most people are afraid to go in.

827
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 3: And when I say most people, I'm not generalizing. I'm

828
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 3: speaking about it in terms of the years that I've

829
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,759
Speaker 3: been doing this work and what I've seen, what I've

830
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 3: seen want to go with that, don't want to look

831
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 3: it with that don't want to do the spiritual hygiene.

832
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 4: No, no, no, is there a difference between being spiritually

833
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 4: spiritually clean and being spiritually sterile? And what I mean

834
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 4: by that, can we ever oversanitize ourselves out of just

835
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 4: human connection?

836
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 3: Not that I don't know. Spiritually clean, you you're still

837
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 3: among everybody. If you're not connected, then you're not spiritual

838
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 3: at all. Because the deepest part of spirituality is connected.

839
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 3: So I don't know about spiritually sterile. Let me write

840
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 3: that down, because you know, I forget.

841
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 4: Some people try to, like you said, they try to

842
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 4: set so many boundaries, and they intellectualized spirituality to think

843
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,759
Speaker 4: that they got to be away from people and be

844
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 4: apart from people.

845
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: That to me, that's not but some of them do.

846
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 3: I mean, look at the monks. Some of them, that's

847
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 3: their mission, that's their ministry, that's what they do. They

848
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 3: go out there. I'm not on that committee. I'm not

849
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 3: on that committee. I'm I'm on the people committee. But

850
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 3: but spiritually sterile, I don't know. That's a good Thank

851
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 3: you for that. That'll be my next book.

852
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 2: I love spiritual hygiene. Mana.

853
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 4: There's a rapper named Dgola and he had a song,

854
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 4: and I call it a Negro spiritual call.

855
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 2: Ain't gonna let up.

856
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 4: And in the song he said, nigga, get yourself together,

857
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 4: go get your brain a bath, go to church, start listening,

858
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 4: get on the right path.

859
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 2: Spiritual hygiene.

860
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm really for me. The greatest thing

861
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:40,959
Speaker 3: was to see how far I've come, because I wasn't

862
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 3: spiritually clean. I wasn't And to see how far I've

863
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 3: come and look at the experiences that I've had, the divorce,

864
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: the death of my partner, my my losing two daughters,

865
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 3: you know, all of it, all of it. And to

866
00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 3: see how far I've come. You know, you can't all

867
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 3: off the floor. So I was on the floor. So

868
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,879
Speaker 3: to see how far I've come from how far down

869
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:14,479
Speaker 3: I was, it's humbling. It's really humbling because millions didn't

870
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:14,800
Speaker 3: make it.

871
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: I know that defin make you question your own mortality.

872
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 3: Well, I've decided I'm going to stay here till I'm

873
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 3: one hundred and two, and I'll still be walking in

874
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 3: my low heels. I got on low heels now because

875
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 3: I do believe we get to choose, I really do.

876
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 3: I said onundred and one, Yeah, I'm gonna do one

877
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 3: hundred and two and I'm gonna go to bed and

878
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 3: I'm just not gonna wake up. I just have to

879
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 3: remember to put on panties because I don't want I

880
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 3: don't want like my son to come in and see

881
00:50:51,280 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 3: my us because I think that would kill him if

882
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 3: he's my mama who has hanging out. So I just

883
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,320
Speaker 3: have to remember, I'm just going to go to sleep.

884
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 3: I'm not doing the suffering and the sickness. Like you know,

885
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 3: when I stuck into my regular physical doctor. I have

886
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 3: other doctors that I go to because at my age,

887
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 3: they they want something to be wrong with me. I

888
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 3: don't take a pill for nothing. I don't have high

889
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 3: blood pressure. I don't have uh the concuss the bunkus,

890
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:37,840
Speaker 3: who's naa? My blood pressure is normal, you know, I

891
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 3: don't have any of it.

892
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 2: That's not real. I'm about to take my doctor like.

893
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 3: Anything, and so they don't believe me. So the only

894
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:51,800
Speaker 3: thing they could think to tell me was where you

895
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 3: are obese? They told obese, you're twenty pounds over the

896
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 3: what the white I'm supposed to be. But you know,

897
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 3: my butt is the size of white. Boys want for

898
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:09,280
Speaker 3: my whole body to be so I'm not worried about that, okay,

899
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 3: But so I'm just not going to do all of

900
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 3: that sickness stuff and I'm not going to live up

901
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 3: to the standards that they set for me. Like they

902
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 3: wanted to do these weird things to me.

903
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:23,479
Speaker 5: And I said, well, why are.

904
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 3: We doing that? They said, because people your aging I

905
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:27,800
Speaker 3: don't have. They don't have nothing to do with me.

906
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 3: I anything do with me. I'm not doing that. You

907
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 3: are not sticking that up there now, not doing no.

908
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 3: I've done though, Okay, yeah, because my daughter died of

909
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 3: colon cancer. So I take but other things, other things,

910
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 3: I'm not doing it.

911
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 2: And this queen is seventy two by the way, for

912
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 2: anybody wondering.

913
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 3: But I have a relationship with my body. And you know,

914
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 3: God is so merciful because I'm a virgo. I'm a

915
00:52:55,760 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 3: hypochondriac me too, you two both. Every little thing you know,

916
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 3: a headache is a brain too. Oh.

917
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,839
Speaker 2: I can see somebody else somebody die from right now.

918
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 2: So we go back and be like, hey, I gotta

919
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,319
Speaker 2: go to doctor. I called him this week.

920
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 4: I said, hey, I just got scared from head to toe.

921
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,919
Speaker 4: I said, the doctor doing brain and that I said

922
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:18,800
Speaker 4: my appointment.

923
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 3: Right, So you understand what I'm saying. So God didn't

924
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,280
Speaker 3: give me any of that. Because I wanted to survive.

925
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,800
Speaker 3: I would live in the doctors. I'd have a box

926
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 3: in the corner by the stove in the doctor's office.

927
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 3: So I don't have that. But you know, people want

928
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 3: you to line up with what they think you should be,

929
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 3: what you even as a spiritual person. You know, for years,

930
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 3: and I say this, I've been doing this work since

931
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 3: nineteen eighty eight. Okay, for years, I was a demon.

932
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 3: I was all sorts of things. They would not let

933
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 3: me in a pulpit in the church. And then when

934
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,840
Speaker 3: my books started selling and people would come and the

935
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 3: offering plate would be bigger than I became welcome. Why

936
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 3: because I didn't do it the way they did it.

937
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 3: But that's not how God told me to do. I

938
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 3: don't have to answer to you when I get wherever

939
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 3: I'm going. If I have to answer to anybody, it

940
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 3: won't be you. So I had to follow my purpose,

941
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 3: my mission.

942
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 5: My Lucke, have you been able to find that love

943
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 5: that works for you?

944
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 4: Yeah?

945
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,959
Speaker 7: I remember in an earlier episode of I ele Fixed

946
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 7: My Life, he was saying, you stayed with a man

947
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 7: for fourteen years, but then you left him because you

948
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,360
Speaker 7: didn't want to have to teach thirteen. I'm sorry to

949
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 7: teach somebody how to love you right well, you know,

950
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 7: because I.

951
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 3: Right after that I left that relationship. He passed, and

952
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 3: right after that I got my great grandson. So I've

953
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 3: been grandmothering him now and I want to be fully

954
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 3: present for him. Gotcha, this is a kid who doesn't

955
00:54:56,400 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 3: have his mom or his dad, his grandmother, my daughter

956
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 3: was raising him. She's gone. So now he's with me.

957
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 3: And so I made a conscious choice right now that

958
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 3: I don't want to say that's my man, because but

959
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 3: he has my heart because the three hearts that were

960
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 3: closest to him he lost. I don't want him to

961
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 3: have to compete for my heart. So right now he's

962
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:26,360
Speaker 3: my focus. He's eight now, so I you know, hopefully

963
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 3: everything will still be working in order and man by

964
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 3: the time he's ten. And then, you know, because even

965
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 3: to date, I don't want to bring because people coming

966
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 3: in the hot out of his life has a totally

967
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,959
Speaker 3: different meaning. His mom's gone, his dad's gone, his grandma's gone.

968
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,839
Speaker 3: So I'm dating somebody for three months and then they're gone.

969
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 3: What does that do to him? So I'm consciously parenting

970
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 3: in a way that I didn't do it. Like it

971
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 3: So I'm I'm but girl, I got there's some eye

972
00:55:59,400 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 3: candy out.

973
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,320
Speaker 6: A lot of people be exhausted by outside the streets,

974
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 6: be exhausting some people. Huh, A lot of people be

975
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,879
Speaker 6: exhausted by the dating life. Right now, you're looking forward

976
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 6: to getting back.

977
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 3: But I want to create what I want and call him.

978
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 3: I know what he looks like.

979
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 6: I'm not.

980
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 3: I'm not doing this, uh, you know, on the line

981
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 3: speed dating kind of stuff. I'm gonna sit right in

982
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 3: my home and I'm gonna let my lady balls hang

983
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 3: out and I'm gonna meditate. Call him it and he

984
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 3: gonna show up.

985
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: What about the spiritually transmitted diseases? Though?

986
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:36,799
Speaker 4: Spir trying to get some pepe and then he doesn't

987
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 4: put all his negative spiritual No no, no, no, no no.

988
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:46,280
Speaker 3: No, he can't because my qualifications or what I desire

989
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 3: in a partner. Number one, I want to make sure

990
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,720
Speaker 3: he has a good relationship with his mother and his children.

991
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,280
Speaker 3: That's number one. Because if you can't be in relationship

992
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 3: with your mama, yama means great mother. I don't have

993
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 3: a hands in hell. You got to be a relationship

994
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 3: with your mom. You got to be a relationship with

995
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 3: your kids. And I don't care how old he is.

996
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 3: Although I'm going younger, I gotta go a little younger. Okay,

997
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 3: you want energy because and and also because my experiences

998
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 3: a lot of brothers in my age category. Yeah, I

999
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 3: can't do the blue field.

1000
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 2: It's the older other. Right now, I'll put that bluetoo

1001
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 2: on you right now.

1002
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 3: No, you will not take your blue cho down in

1003
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 3: the basement. You get out of here. I am not

1004
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 3: on the blue choo committee.

1005
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 6: Are you looking at like.

1006
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 3: That's robbery? Okay? My son is fifty five. I just

1007
00:57:56,600 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 3: was asking I think for seventy I can do sixty eight.

1008
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 3: You know what what I said? Could he have babysat

1009
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 3: my son? See if he's sixty eight, he would have

1010
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 3: been thirteen. He could have watched my ten year old. Gotcha,

1011
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 3: that's how I'm doing.

1012
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 2: That?

1013
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:18,919
Speaker 3: Is that good? That's a good man, man?

1014
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 1: What a young boys gonna put it on?

1015
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 3: You? Listen? I had one roll up on me in

1016
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 3: the gas station, and I was so out of it

1017
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 3: I didn't and when I recogniz I said, are you

1018
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 3: Are you hitting on me? He said, yes, ma'am. I am.

1019
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 3: I said how old are you? He said thirty seven?

1020
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 3: I said, boy, police, I got bras older than you.

1021
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:47,240
Speaker 3: He said, I would like to see it. I couldn't

1022
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 3: stop laughing. Oh yes, he said, I would love to

1023
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 3: see it. Yeah. Boy, you wouldn't even recognize he wouldn't

1024
00:58:56,600 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 3: even know what it was. But yeah, you.

1025
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 2: We appreciate. Thank you man. I'm glad that God created you.

1026
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 3: Thank you, and I'm glad you're here. And I'm really

1027
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 3: really happy about you going to Netflix.

1028
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 2: January twenty this year.

1029
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 3: Yes, well I should have waited.

1030
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 2: Juary.

1031
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 3: You're going to Netflix January twenty six. I'm going to

1032
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 3: the MGM Theater in in my first public appearance in

1033
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:36,400
Speaker 3: since twenty nineteen. That I'm at the MGM Theater at

1034
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 3: in d C. January twenty fifth, nineteen.

1035
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, wow, that's amazing.

1036
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 3: Can they get tickets? Go to the MGM Theater thing there.

1037
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:55,960
Speaker 3: I'm so excited, Thank you, said he took a break degree. No,

1038
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:00,040
Speaker 3: I just you know, it's COVID, and then I I

1039
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 3: wasn't on the show, and then I was grandmother ing,

1040
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 3: and then I just you know, I've done little things

1041
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 3: here and there, but me on the stage doing Oh

1042
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 3: I haven't done that since twenty night time.

1043
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: Get your tickets. Also, the inside fixed from me is

1044
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,440
Speaker 1: on the seventeenth of this month.

1045
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 3: And thank you for joining us, Thank you for having me.

1046
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 3: I really got fun and I can I say this.

1047
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 3: First of all, you are absolutely gorgeous.

1048
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 5: Thank you know that, right, Yes, ma'am.

1049
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 3: Don't let Charlamade tell you anything.

1050
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 1: Okay, he tells the Lauren too well, she knows she's

1051
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:33,439
Speaker 1: the baby girl.

1052
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 3: She's just a cutey little funking. That was the part

1053
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 3: of Don't Bother.

1054
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 6: We were calm, I mean, and it's the MGM National

1055
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 6: Harbor website.

1056
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 3: Your ticket you can go. And let me say this,

1057
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 3: I am so proud of you. Thank you really as

1058
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 3: an og, I am so proud of you and the

1059
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 3: way that you present. I mean, sometimes you all do

1060
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 3: a little controversial, but that's okay. I'm I'm o G.

1061
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 3: But I can do this, My little ones, keep me

1062
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 3: up today. Continue to represent yourselves and us in this

1063
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:26,880
Speaker 3: really powerful, productive way. I was so excited when I

1064
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 3: heard about Netflix. Good, so just continue to do it, okay,

1065
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:39,600
Speaker 3: every day

1066
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:42,439
Speaker 2: Breakfast Glove