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Speaker 1: I got Hella drunk at Steph's wedding and definitely was

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Speaker 1: repeating myself, repeating stories.

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Speaker 2: I remember that, yes you did.

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Speaker 3: You were like, why did you change dresses? Like loved

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Speaker 3: your wedding dress, and I was like, thank you so much,

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Speaker 3: while I wanted to wear this one because blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: And then five minutes, five minutes later, what did you

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Speaker 3: change dresses?

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Speaker 2: Why did you change dresses?

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Speaker 3: I was like, she's wasted.

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Speaker 1: It was at the end of the night, folks. It

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Speaker 1: was like eleven pm. Yeah, it was at the end

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Speaker 1: of the night.

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Speaker 4: And More Better, More Better, got a little bit more better.

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Speaker 1: More.

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Speaker 3: Hi. Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stopped

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Speaker 3: pretending to have it all together and embrace the journey

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Speaker 3: of becoming a little more better every day.

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Speaker 1: Or at least trying to. That's Stephanie Beatrice. That that's

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Speaker 1: Stephanie Beatrice. That's I I almost repeat it. That's Mulsa Fumaro.

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Speaker 1: My brain is a fucking sieve right now.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: Your name is Stephanie Beatrice, and my name is Melissa.

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Speaker 2: And your name is Musli Fan.

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Speaker 3: I honestly feel like my brain is like a thing

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Speaker 3: of flower and you just like put it in a

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Speaker 3: sifter and like shake it and nothing is. Everything's going

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Speaker 3: through nothing sting.

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Speaker 1: They're going through like a phase of brain fog, you

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Speaker 1: feel maybe I.

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Speaker 3: Don't know, it feels like I've I've gotten stupider since

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Speaker 3: I had a kid. I'm not sure. I mean, they

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Speaker 3: do say your brain, like the functionality of your brain

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Speaker 3: changes after pregnancy, during pregnancy and stuff. I haven't looked

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Speaker 3: into it that much because ding dong.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, but it also could be like hormones.

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Speaker 2: It could be like, yeah, you're not You're not dumber,

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Speaker 2: You're not.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I've had my hormones checked. I've had them checked.

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Speaker 3: They seem fine. I've had them checked same, they'll check again.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I just don't think my periods are normal. Here we're

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Speaker 3: gonna talk about perimenopause for a moment. The episode's not

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Speaker 3: about it, but maybe we should do one. My periods

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Speaker 3: are normal, Like, they're totally normal. They're the same way

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Speaker 3: that they've been since I got my period when I

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Speaker 3: was young. Like, yeah, and I know that that's a

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Speaker 3: big sign. That can be a big sign.

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Speaker 1: Got to be something I think also at our age

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Speaker 1: when it's like the very very very early early phase

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Speaker 1: about peri perimenopause. I think they're still like the science

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Speaker 1: is still out, like they're still learning, because all I

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Speaker 1: know is so I had the opposite. I had like

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Speaker 1: periods that were not sorry listener if this is TMI,

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Speaker 1: but also get over it. If this is TMI at

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Speaker 1: this point, now give me another part. Right, you're right, right,

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Speaker 1: we're irregular. So I went back on the pill and

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Speaker 1: it did not help that situation. But what it did

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Speaker 1: help because I was getting a little bit of estrogen again,

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Speaker 1: was I felt clearer in my head. I felt happier,

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Speaker 1: I felt less rage I felt and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: like I was maybe going through some stuff that I

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Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily clocking.

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Speaker 2: And I feel better.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm looking into adding creatine maybe to my

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Speaker 1: routine because there's all these like brain benefits. It's like

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Speaker 1: good for.

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Speaker 3: I thought creatin was just for working out.

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Speaker 1: How they're learning now that for women, especially in our forties,

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Speaker 1: it can be really beneficial for your brain. So yes,

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Speaker 1: it's really crucial for like workout, recovery and all of that.

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Speaker 1: But they're like finding all this brain stuff with it,

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Speaker 1: and women are reporting like feeling less foggy, feeling clear,

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Speaker 1: feeling sharper, like their brain coming back online. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just ordered some creatine for women. I'll send you

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Speaker 1: a link, Okay, And.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, right if.

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Speaker 1: It helps, because I definitely have days like that where

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel like a dumb dumb I mean,

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Speaker 1: you saw it last night when we talked and we

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Speaker 1: were like working on a thing, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, and your brain was firing.

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Speaker 2: Well that's so you.

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Speaker 3: But I mean just saying, when it comes to work

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Speaker 3: my brain, yeah, yeah, when it it's everything else, I'm

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Speaker 3: like tulips. Yeah, it's very it's not it's not Firron.

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Speaker 2: What have you done lately?

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Speaker 3: Is you're more better this week?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yes, a nice, nice day. Both felt that. Trance.

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Speaker 3: I went horseback riding. Agaay, I went horseback riding. I've

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Speaker 3: gone twice this week. My lessons are going really well,

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Speaker 3: it's amazing. Today I picked up this book, well, my

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Speaker 3: mom got it for me. It's called Think How to

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Speaker 3: Think Like a Horse, And I've been reading it like

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Speaker 3: little little Chunk by Chunk.

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Speaker 2: I like I said, it was really.

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Speaker 3: Chunk by chunk and something in there that I thought

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Speaker 3: was cool was you know, their their ears are like

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Speaker 3: constantly moving around and like monitoring for sound. They can

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Speaker 3: turn them almost all the way around, right, So some

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Speaker 3: horses really respond well to a sort of like light

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Speaker 3: murmuring the whole time you're writing them. And that's what

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Speaker 3: I did today. I was like looking forward doing all

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Speaker 3: this stuff that I was trying to do. But also

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Speaker 3: I was like, Mac, you're so handsome. You're such a

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Speaker 3: good boy. You know you can't go over there, Mac,

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Speaker 3: You've got to stay with me right here, so we're

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Speaker 3: going to stick. Can get off the rail a little bit, Mac, Okay,

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Speaker 3: thanks buddy, And like I just kept talking to him,

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Speaker 3: and I also kept telling him how handsome he is

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Speaker 3: because he's kind of a workhorse, Like, yeah, I think

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Speaker 3: he's seventeen, eighteen years old. He's been around for a

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Speaker 3: long time to be like a.

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Speaker 2: Like a western show.

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Speaker 3: Horse, and he's really smart. But he also like does

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Speaker 3: whatever he wants unless you kind of tell him, like, man,

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Speaker 3: you gotta work with me, but he I think he doesn't.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if he always gets like because he's

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Speaker 3: so strong willed. I don't know that people are always

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Speaker 3: like you're so pretty, and I think he hears it.

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Speaker 3: Here's other people saying like that about some of the

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Speaker 3: other horses, and so I was like, you're a handsome devil, mac,

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Speaker 3: You're a handsome devil. And then as soon as I

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Speaker 3: started calling him a handsome devil, he was like, yeah, bitch,

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Speaker 3: it's really cool.

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Speaker 2: It was cool. It was cool. That is so cool.

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Speaker 3: It was something about and you know, like he doesn't

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Speaker 3: necessarily understand English, like obviously, like some animals can, like

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Speaker 3: but figure out commands and like sounds, but he knew.

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Speaker 1: What I was trying to He could read the energy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he could read the energy. Oh my god, that's beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, that was cool. Oh that's so cool.

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Speaker 3: I think that's what I'm gonna call him from now

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Speaker 3: on because he is handsled. But he's like a little

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Speaker 3: bit yeah, yes, he's like, I'm not going on to there, bitch,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna fucking trot, I'm gonna canter. How do

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Speaker 3: you feel about that?

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Speaker 2: I feel about that?

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Speaker 3: I was like, ah, yeah, what about you.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've had a little bit of a chaotic

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Speaker 1: week and my anxiety spiked this week, and I've talked

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Speaker 1: about my anxiety a little bit before, and I'm very

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Speaker 1: fortunate that my journey with anxiety, I have the type

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Speaker 1: anxiety that, for the most part, is manageable, but when

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Speaker 1: it spikes, it spikes. And it spiked this week, and

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Speaker 1: so I just I recognized it and I could feel

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Speaker 1: it in my body and I knew what it was.

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Speaker 1: And then I just was tried to be more intentional

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Speaker 1: about doing breathing exercises that I know work for me,

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Speaker 1: asking myself the questions of like, what is it the

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Speaker 1: root of this, What is the thing that's making you

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Speaker 1: feel the most anxious, what are you processing?

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Speaker 2: What are your fears right?

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Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of anxiety can be like

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Speaker 1: fear of the unknown. I talked to friends. I talked

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Speaker 1: to you about it a little bit last night. My

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Speaker 1: friend Mark, who's such a good friend. Shout out Mark Lawson,

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Speaker 1: We've been friends such a long time, had a friend connection.

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Speaker 1: He called me out of the blue yesterday and he's like,

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Speaker 1: I just thought of you, and I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: call and see how you are.

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Speaker 3: I love.

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Speaker 1: I love when that happened, and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, Mark, I yeah, I'm like spiraling. And we

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Speaker 1: had like a really good conversation about it, and it

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Speaker 1: really helped. I talked to David, you know, I like

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Speaker 1: just went through my little checklist that you know, this

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Speaker 1: has been like ten years that I've really worked on it.

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 1: I think early days of Brooklyn was like I had

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Speaker 1: a series of like wake up calls to like my

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Speaker 1: anxiety being something I needed to work on. Do you

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Speaker 1: remember an award show very early on that you me

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Speaker 1: and Terry were presenting and I messed up and I

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Speaker 1: broke down off stage after that was like one really

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Speaker 1: early breakdown because I was like that was not a

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Speaker 1: normal reaction to a little flub on stage. Like I

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Speaker 1: was like shaking and crying off stage after that happened,

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Speaker 1: and so and then like little little moments like that

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Speaker 1: that just I really hunkered down and worked on it.

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Speaker 1: And it's you know, it's still a work in progress.

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Speaker 1: It's still a thing I try to get more better at.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, just trying to like ground myself in the

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Speaker 1: present and try to be nice to myself too, and

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Speaker 1: like tell myself, this is, you have a normal reason

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Speaker 1: for your anxiety spiking right now, and you just you know,

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Speaker 1: I like couldn't when I get anxious, like I have

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Speaker 1: had trouble eating. I couldn't I couldn't really eat last night,

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Speaker 1: but I sort of just made myself some like chick

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Speaker 1: that I had made for the kids, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: just have some chicken, just have some protein, just like

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Speaker 1: put something yummy on it and just like hat. And

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Speaker 1: I didn't think about it when I was eating it,

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Speaker 1: just put it. And I did feel better after I

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Speaker 1: had it because probably my blood sugar had like dropped,

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Speaker 1: but I was already anxious and couldn't feel it, you know,

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Speaker 1: like all the things. It's like it's like your your

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Speaker 1: bodies like do your body and your mind are doing

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Speaker 1: crazy things. And it's hard sometimes to pinpoint because you

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Speaker 1: just feel anxious.

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Speaker 2: You know. It's not like, oh my blood sugar is well,

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Speaker 2: I have to eat.

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Speaker 1: It's like you're just anxious and so but I knew

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Speaker 1: enough time had passed since I last ate that I

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Speaker 1: needed to eat something. So it's just yeah, so just

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Speaker 1: like that's that's been my main more better this week

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Speaker 1: is just managing managing anxiety.

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Speaker 2: My little devil friend that lives with me.

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Speaker 3: I tell you what I wished my anxiety maybe not

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Speaker 3: eat well, eat the house down.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's different for everyone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I just I think because so much of

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Speaker 1: it for me lives in my gut. Like if I

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Speaker 1: burp during this recording, it's because it always goes to

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Speaker 1: my gut. And I've actually met other actors who have

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Speaker 1: the same issue that told me that they take like

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Speaker 1: gas X before something that's going to make them anxious,

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Speaker 1: like if it's interviewed.

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Speaker 3: So funny, or I used to just let a rip.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, the way I've I've been so burpy

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Speaker 1: or farty, like right before a press thing or having

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Speaker 1: to like present on stage, Like I mean, that's been

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Speaker 1: that's gotten better over the years.

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Speaker 2: I think with experience and practice. Again, it's like immersion

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Speaker 2: therapy works.

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Speaker 3: Yeah kind of we.

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Speaker 1: Didn't, you know, it can can like our you know,

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Speaker 1: my experience with that stuff was like I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a choice, but it did, you know. The repetition of

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Speaker 1: doing those things that would make me send me into

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Speaker 1: a panic sometimes definitely lessened over the years with repeat exposure. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I still, Yeah, today, I'm like bloated and burpie

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Speaker 1: and because it's all lists. So I think that's what

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Speaker 1: makes me like not eat is because I just have

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Speaker 1: the like weird ball in my stomach, like my stomach

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Speaker 1: feels full almost like yeah, it's weird.

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Speaker 2: But for other people, it's Have you ever.

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Speaker 3: Talked it's it's.

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Speaker 2: It's different for everyone different anybody.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever talked to anybody about being on it

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Speaker 3: as needed pill for anxiety, like some kind of drug

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Speaker 3: that might help you with it.

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Speaker 2: I haven't.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely, I've had casual conversations with I weirdly have

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Speaker 1: a lot of friends who are therapists about it. But

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Speaker 1: I think for me, these phases have always been short

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Speaker 1: lived enough and not completely disruptive to my life to

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Speaker 1: a point, you know what I mean, where I'm open

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Speaker 1: to it if it ever gets worse or progresses. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: And I have friends who have you know, it can

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Speaker 1: be tricky going on and off anxiety meds because they

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Speaker 1: know they need to build up and you know there's

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Speaker 1: a and then you need to lean off and there's

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Speaker 1: there's a there is a system there. But I've That's

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Speaker 1: why I say, like, I'm very fortunate. I'm very lucky

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Speaker 1: that the anxiety I have sort of tends to ebb

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Speaker 1: and flow, and I've been able to manage the spikes

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Speaker 1: and they usually don't last too long, if.

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Speaker 2: That makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So I think that's why I've never gone for the

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Speaker 1: medication route. But again, if it ever got worse, if

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Speaker 1: it ever, you know, yeah, I thought about it when

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Speaker 1: I after I was pregnant with Axel, because I had

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Speaker 1: my first panic attacks while I was pregnant. But I

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Speaker 1: think they were mostly hormone like induced because they made

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Speaker 1: they can't they kind of. I think it was just

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Speaker 1: and they went that went away.

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Speaker 2: I had.

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Speaker 1: I only had one small panic attack when I was

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Speaker 1: first time I was on location. First time I was

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Speaker 1: like away from my family for a long time, and

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Speaker 1: I know what the trigger was, and it was just

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Speaker 1: it was a new situation. It was the first time

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Speaker 1: I was doing that. And I haven't had one since,

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Speaker 1: thank god. Because they're scary and big love to anyone

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Speaker 1: listening that goes through them. They're awful.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Mean again, they open to the medication route of course,

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Speaker 1: just haven't gotten to that place quite yet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think for a long time I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: I need to figure out how to handle this by myself. Sure, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I need to figure out you know, essentially, like some

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Speaker 3: of the stuff you're talking about, like why can't I

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Speaker 3: breathe through it? Why can't I Why does this happen

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Speaker 3: to me? What's wrong with me? Like I've got to

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Speaker 3: figure this out because this is debilitating, you know that

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Speaker 3: kind of stuff. And then I think when somebody told me, like,

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Speaker 3: you don't have to feel that way, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: And and it's been a little bit of like, uh,

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Speaker 3: you know, I tried a medication. It worked. I liked it,

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Speaker 3: but it was like a psychiatrist was like, well, maybe

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Speaker 3: you know this one really mellows you out but doesn't

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Speaker 3: really let you like, I don't know that you're necessarily

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Speaker 3: thinking about all the reasons that right, the anxiety is

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Speaker 3: coming on because you're so mellowed out by it. And

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Speaker 3: I was like, read me, and then we changed then

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Speaker 3: we changed it to one that like she was like

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Speaker 3: this one. I was like, I don't know, like sometimes

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Speaker 3: performance anxiety helps me, Like I don't want that to

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Speaker 3: go way, like I want to be sharp. And she's

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Speaker 3: like the thing that I'm gonna prescribe you is a

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Speaker 3: lot of athletes take it. All it does is lower

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Speaker 3: your you're it does like I'm not a doctor. I'm

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Speaker 3: not a doctor, guys, but I guess it like helps

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Speaker 3: your body not feel like right fight or flight, you know,

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Speaker 3: like like that sort of like oh fucked panic. It

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Speaker 3: just kind of like yeah, yeah, it takes the edge

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Speaker 3: of panic away so that your brain can kind of go,

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Speaker 3: so that your brain without the panic can say, why

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Speaker 3: am I paniking? What is this about? What's the root

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Speaker 3: of this? Like oh yeah, okay, yeah, that's why you

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Speaker 3: feel anxious? Like is that something you can do something

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Speaker 3: about right this second? Yeah, you got to write it

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Speaker 3: down on the list or whatever the fuck it is.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, anyway, if you want to talk about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we just talked about that for a long time because

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Speaker 3: it was very interesting. Sorry we find each other interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry not, we like each other more better. What

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Speaker 2: are we talking about today?

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Speaker 3: We're talking about This was a weird one for me.

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Speaker 3: We're talking about nostalgia. I don't know what. When I

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Speaker 3: think about nostalgia, I think about like ephemera like stuff

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Speaker 3: that I say, right, word, I love that word. Uh.

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Speaker 3: I think about like the feeling that I get thinking

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Speaker 3: back to something when I'm like holding something in my hands,

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Speaker 3: or when I'm talking about a memory. But I don't know,

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Speaker 3: like I'm not I don't know what do you think

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Speaker 3: about when you think about nostalgia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 1: When I saw this topic, I was a little bit like, huh,

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, am I.

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Speaker 2: A nostalgic person? I think I am.

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Speaker 1: I'm married to someone who's very nostalgic, and sometimes he

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Speaker 1: gets really caught up in this nostalgia like a little

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Speaker 1: too much, like struggles with it sometimes, like what do

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Speaker 1: you like, like really wistfully looking to the past, or

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Speaker 1: like holding some regrets, although he says ever since he

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Speaker 1: had children, he's struggled a lot less with it. He's like,

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Speaker 1: because every moment, every single thing that I've done and

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Speaker 1: been through, led me to these exact two boys, and

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Speaker 1: if anything was different, it wouldn't be them, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so I think having children's let him let go

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Speaker 1: of a lot of that. But yeah, I do think

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Speaker 1: I'm a nassa. I love like when I see my

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Speaker 1: college friends, I love talking.

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Speaker 2: About like the old days.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if you saw on like the

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Speaker 1: post we did where I was talking about being a dancer,

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Speaker 1: and all my like dancer friends from college like commented

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Speaker 1: on the post and we had like a little back

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Speaker 1: in forth, Kiki, and it was so cute and it

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Speaker 1: made me so happy. So like I recognize that when

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Speaker 1: those moments happen and I get like so happy, like

356
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Speaker 1: it's like a it's a unique kind of like feeling

357
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Speaker 1: of just like oh, like I love going back and

358
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Speaker 1: thinking about those days or even Brooklyn. Like the other day,

359
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Speaker 1: I freaking watched one of our blooper reels on YouTube

360
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 1: because I was I was missing every Did they release

361
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: the blohow there's still just season one in season two,

362
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 1: so listeners, if you ever want to pressure Universal, they

363
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:42,199
Speaker 1: do have the bluebers from every season in a in

364
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Speaker 1: a lock box somewhere.

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Speaker 2: And a vault.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's something I want from time to time that

367
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Speaker 1: I do because it's like a good little montage of

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Speaker 1: like just the silly fun we used to have and

369
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Speaker 1: just watching everyone like break and crack up. It's like, yeah,

370
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 1: when I miss you guys, sometimes I watch those.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, is that sad?

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00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 3: I know it's not sad. It just makes me like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I think I avoid stuff like that because

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Speaker 3: I don't want to feel sad, Like I don't want

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Speaker 3: to feel I don't want to feel.

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Speaker 2: Nostalgia can definitely make you feel fit sad.

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Speaker 3: I think it always makes me feel sad almost always.

378
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Speaker 3: It makes me like, like if we're talking about nostalgia,

379
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Speaker 3: like in a like positive memories, right or or like that,

380
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 3: like the example of that, I looked through our book

381
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 3: that you made us for the last season, Melisa made

382
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Speaker 3: us this beautiful scrap book with all these photos and

383
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Speaker 3: all these memories of like not just the last season,

384
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Speaker 3: all the seasons, I feel like, and it made me sad,

385
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 3: Like I was like, oh, look look at my jawline,

386
00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 3: look at my all.

387
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 2: Like, look at my aligious jawlines.

388
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 3: Stephanie Beatrice stick legs and those pants, babe, like look

389
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 3: my hair, you know. And that's me speaking self observabh.

390
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,640
Speaker 2: I've definitely had that too.

391
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 1: I look at photos when in my teens or twenties

392
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Speaker 1: when I was like really struggling with body issue stuff

393
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 1: and eating stuff, and I look back, and I do

394
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Speaker 1: I get sad because I'm like, girl, you.

395
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Speaker 2: Were so hot and you didn't enjoy it and you

396
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 2: didn't know. That's why there's a phrase beauty is wasted

397
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 2: on the youth.

398
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Speaker 1: You were just like me into yourself, like look at

399
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,679
Speaker 1: your fucking muscles, look at your you know, you're so

400
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: fit and strong and like you look great.

401
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 4: Ugh.

402
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,680
Speaker 2: But I think that's everyone.

403
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think yeah, I think that there's nostalgia that

404
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 1: can definitely trigger sadness, and then there's nostalgia that I

405
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 1: don't know, can like, I don't know for me, sometimes

406
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 1: spark like some joy or just like a reminder of

407
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: like this ride has been pretty good so far, this

408
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: ride has been a good ride.

409
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's true. I mean it's not like I'm

410
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 3: just like, oh, I'm gonna burn this book. I mean

411
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 3: I put it back on the shelf and was like, oh, yeah,

412
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 3: you know, there's a there's a real feeling of oh yeah, nostalgia.

413
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 3: I don't know what that is. What is that feeling?

414
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: Do you feel like there's anything Well, we talked about

415
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 1: like photos and stuff. Are there any other like kind

416
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: of nostalgia triggers like for you, Like is it like.

417
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,719
Speaker 2: Smells or songs or foods or stuff? Stuff?

418
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 3: Stuff? Literally? I have a box up there and I

419
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 3: thought about getting it down and looking through it, but

420
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 3: I was like, if I look through that fucking box

421
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 3: on this podcast, I'll cry, And you know what, producers,

422
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna give that to it. Okay, get the

423
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 3: box at the box. But like I do feel, I

424
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 3: do feel, you know, I've save a lot of papery stuff,

425
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 3: like I'll save you know, the past from Comic Con

426
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 3: when we premiered there for Twisted Metal. I'll save notebooks

427
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 3: that are filled with little notes about whatever. I think.

428
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 3: I found a notebook the other day. I'm looking over

429
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 3: here because I keep them over here, but I found

430
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 3: a notebook where I was drawing how I wanted our

431
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 3: house that we live in right now to look like

432
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,959
Speaker 3: when we were first thinking about buying it, I was like,

433
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 3: how could I like sketch out. I used to do

434
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 3: that all the time when I was a kid. I

435
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 3: would sketch out like how I wanted the house to look,

436
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 3: and I found it. I have a piece of paper

437
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 3: that was part of a menu where when Brad and

438
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 3: I were first married, we were sitting at a bar

439
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 3: in New York City, and you know, we were like

440
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 3: two cocktails and I was like, so, what do you

441
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 3: want our dream house to have and be like? And

442
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 3: we wrote all these like yes, we want this, we

443
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 3: want this one, want this one with this one, with this,

444
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 3: and then we had another side. It was like, I

445
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 3: can't have this you can't have this, can't it can't

446
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 3: be right on the street, you know, stuff like that,

447
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: And I have that piece of.

448
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 2: Paper up there and did you manifest much? Like how

449
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 2: did it?

450
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 3: That's amazing, Like a lot of it was like happened.

451
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 3: I was like, I want a bedroom that's like just

452
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: a sanctuary, Like I don't want stuff in there. I

453
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 3: don't want to look at stuff. I just wanted to

454
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 3: be like hotel. You almost thank y'all. I wanted to

455
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 3: just be like a hotel, which is also why I

456
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,120
Speaker 3: get mad when there's like stuff everywhere, which is why

457
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 3: I have my ephemera in a box in my shoulds,

458
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,719
Speaker 3: you know. Like but like look, even stuff like this,

459
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 3: it's like like Jin drew me that I think this

460
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 3: was gin I can't remember, but like this is one

461
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 3: of the first strawings of Mirabell and it's like, yeah,

462
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 3: it's so uh. It hangs in my office and it's

463
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 3: so important to me. But also it makes me like, yeah,

464
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 3: this was so long ago. It was like almost five

465
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 3: years ago.

466
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 5: Now more better, better, So.

467
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think Nasula's kind of a double edged sword

468
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 3: for me. It always feels like I want to go

469
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 3: down that road, but it hurts me sometimes at the

470
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 3: same time, does it.

471
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:21,719
Speaker 1: Hurt because you can't go back to that experience or

472
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: feeling and you miss it, or like, what do you

473
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 1: think it is about it that makes you feel sad?

474
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 3: It's like time passing. The idea of time passing makes

475
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 3: me feel sad, like this feeling that like there's no

476
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 3: you can't stop it. It's just like it's gonna happen

477
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 3: no matter what. Like I remember, I think it was

478
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 3: Andy saying something about he was like, it's like because

479
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,360
Speaker 3: we were talking about kids, and he was like, it's

480
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 3: like future nostalgia, Like you're looking at them playing or

481
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 3: doing whatever it is, and you get nostalgic in the

482
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 3: present moment for the moment that you are also in

483
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 3: you're thinking you're projecting yourself into the future and going like,

484
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 3: oh my god, that this moment is so fleeting. And

485
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 3: like when I look at ephemera or like I look

486
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 3: at things, and you know, like for me, I attach

487
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 3: meaning to almost everything around me. I always have like

488
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,199
Speaker 3: I just look at stuff and I'm like, oh, you know,

489
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 3: and yet I surround myself with the ephemera, so like

490
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 3: I must like it in some kind of way. I

491
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 3: must like, I must like it. Yeah, I don't know, man,

492
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 3: it's just the way I Am. I'm holding up my

493
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:47,640
Speaker 3: copy of Just the Way I Am by Dolly Parton Stupid.

494
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: Is there a.

495
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 1: Time in your life that you feel like you're the

496
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: most nostalgic for or that like m that like really

497
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 1: makes you go like, like, let's say like more positive

498
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: nostlogialis like, oh, like that was such a good time.

499
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm I like again, It's that one's

500
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 3: a hard one because it's like everything is like tinged

501
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: with loss right, and like I don't know if that's

502
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 3: because of like like I said, time passing or grief

503
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 3: or whatever. If you turn in for comedy podcasts, turn

504
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 3: this one off, babe, because sometimes we really do like

505
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 3: to go deep. Yeah, I don't know.

506
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

507
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 3: Like I mean, I'll say this, I'm not the one

508
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 3: experience that there's two. I've had two experiences and they

509
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 3: are so rope. They are so like duh, getting married

510
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 3: and having ross and like those moments like I don't

511
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 3: feel like oh, I feel more like, oh, I remember

512
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 3: so much from those days. So when I think about

513
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: the nostalgia, like when I think about those days, I

514
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 3: can like put myself right back in there, and it's

515
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 3: like a memory. That's like it feels like a keepsake

516
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 3: in the way that some of the other keepsakes I

517
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 3: have feel, you know, it's like full of meaning, like

518
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: I can relive I can relive Ros's my labor with Ros,

519
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 3: like I could relive it crystal Like I remember everything. Yeah, yeah,

520
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 3: from the drugs to the fucking rubber chicken they put

521
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 3: in me to dilate me. I can't remember what that thing.

522
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: You remember that though, because I do trip out, you do,

523
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: so I remember, yeah, I remember how I how I

524
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: thought about the pain. I remember how I talked about it.

525
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: I remember what I said in the moment. Because I

526
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: don't like my epidural work. I fully felt the ring

527
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: of fire, and I was like in the middle of it,

528
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: yelling in the delivery room.

529
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, ring of fire, Oh, in the

530
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: ring of fire. It really feels like a ring of fire.

531
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 2: It's a circle of fire. I feel it.

532
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, some sweet girls checking in at the desk being like,

533
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 3: this is my what's the ring a fire?

534
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 4: Oh?

535
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: My god? Uh, I remember, I remember, like the wave

536
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 3: of like utter like there is no escape from this feeling.

537
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 3: There is no getting outside of your but you are

538
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 3: in your motherfucking body, babe.

539
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 2: Most and in that moment, yes.

540
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 3: Yes, and.

541
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 4: So is shit.

542
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 3: Like I had a lot of thoughts about like all right, buddy,

543
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 3: like like a lot of like team team playing. It

544
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 3: was like a lot of talking her, a lot of

545
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 3: like inside but I was very quiet, like I didn't

546
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 3: yell or scream. I barely talked. It was a lot

547
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 3: of like putting my head on the cold metal of

548
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 3: the hospital bed, like I remember the feeling of the

549
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 3: cold metal of the hospital bed. I remember Brad pulling

550
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 3: out a sandwich out of a backpack and I was like,

551
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 3: don't eat that sandwich in here and kill you. I

552
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 3: will kill you. He was like, but I'm hungry. I

553
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 3: was like, go to the bathroom, eat over the twenty side.

554
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 3: I don't care. Get out of here. You can't get

555
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 3: you can't be eating a delicious sandwich when I'm in

556
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 3: like waves of radiating pain. And then my wedding, my

557
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 3: wedding to Brad. I also remember my wedding time, and

558
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 3: I am nostalgic for that day because like that was

559
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 3: such a fun.

560
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 2: Your wedding was so fine.

561
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 3: That it was such a fun day, like everybody had

562
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 3: a great time.

563
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: I remember three corners of your wedding. The last quarter.

564
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: I was a little booted, let's be honest.

565
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, there were five bars.

566
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 2: There were five bars, no line.

567
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: Every ill drunk it steph sweating and definitely was repeating

568
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 1: myself repeating stories.

569
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 2: I remember that, yes you did.

570
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 3: You were like why did you change dresses? Like loved

571
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 3: your wedding dress and I was like, thank you so much,

572
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 3: while I wanted to wear this one because blah blah blah,

573
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 3: and five minutes what did you change dresses?

574
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 2: Why did you change dresses? I was like, she's wasted.

575
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: It was at the end of the night, folks. It

576
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: was like eleven pm. Yeah, it was at the end

577
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: of the night. I remember there was like that little area.

578
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: We found that little guys, it was like a clubhouse.

579
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, like us and all the Brooklyn people. Right or

580
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: did you.

581
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: See the Yeah, did you ever see the charcuterie board?

582
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: That was like right, No, I missed a lot of things.

583
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,239
Speaker 1: I missed some rooms. You missed the coffee room. I

584
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: missed I think the portrait room. Because we found that

585
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: little area and we we shacked up there for like

586
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: an hour here so well because I also was close

587
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: to the food. Yeah, it was close to the food tracks.

588
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

589
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: We were drinking and eating and it was so fun.

590
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: It was so fun.

591
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have I have like joyful nostalgia for that.

592
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 3: And I just thought of another one. Every Christmas, I

593
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 3: have like joyfulness, and that is it's both things. It's

594
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 3: the thought of Christmas and the energy it brings and

595
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 3: the memories of old Christmases before and I always think

596
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: of the happy memories. I block out the shitty ones

597
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 3: and like all the stuff, like every single literally every

598
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 3: single ornament on my tree, and there were a lot

599
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 3: of ornaments. I could tell you where it's from, who

600
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 3: gave it to me, if I bought it myself, what

601
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 3: year it was. Yeah, all of that is like nostologic

602
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 3: to me.

603
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

604
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 3: Nerd time, the nerd time, nerd time, nerd time.

605
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: Well, before we wrap up, I do want to get

606
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: into some nerd time because I thought there were some

607
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: really interesting stuff here. That isis are lovely, isis put

608
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: together for us, So I thought this was interesting. The

609
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: first one was how nostalgia works, and there was this

610
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: little section about music.

611
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: Music for me, can be really nostalgic.

612
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 1: Like if I hear Lauren Hill, I hear Biggie, I

613
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 1: hear No Doubt, I am in my childhood bedroom again,

614
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: I am singing in the mirror, I'm maybe crying, and

615
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: I just like feel those little feelings like bubble up.

616
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: So experts theorize that music from this period of our lives,

617
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: that sort of adolescence teen years is most strongly associated

618
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 1: with emotional memories due to properties of the adolescent brain.

619
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: The neural activity activated by a song we like, which

620
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: causes the release of feel good chemicals like dopamine, is

621
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: activated to a greater extent between the ages of twelve

622
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: and twenty two, And I think that's true for all

623
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: of us, Like, that's the music from twelve to twenty

624
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 1: two that is the most powerful for us. That extra

625
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: intense reaction becomes associated with the events and emotions going

626
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: on while the song plays, and the emotions going on

627
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: while the song plays are extra intense too, a result

628
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 1: of all those raging hormones at work in the brain.

629
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 1: So also, if you have a child around age twelve

630
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: and they're like, you don't understand when you're like, why

631
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: are you listening to that song, that's what's going on

632
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: in their brain.

633
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think music is a big one for me.

634
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 3: That really tells me that, like, I really need to

635
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 3: pay attention when Roz starts listening to music like in

636
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 3: her preteens and through her like just to get like

637
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,359
Speaker 3: a sense of like who she is and how she's

638
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 3: connecting to music and stuff like that, because that could

639
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 3: be like a touchdown.

640
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:47,720
Speaker 2: A hundred person.

641
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:52,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're like and also influence her, like, yes, listen

642
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 3: to this because this is Yes.

643
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: We're in the beginnings of that with Enzo, who's not

644
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: twelve yet but close and and boy loves hip hop,

645
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: so yay. Some of it is trash. I make him,

646
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 1: but I make him listen to a lot of nineties

647
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 1: hip hop. I recently introduced him to Arrested Development and yeah,

648
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: he really likes.

649
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 2: Every day people people everywhere.

650
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 3: Yeah cute.

651
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, he does not protest when I put that on.

652
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 3: That's very cute. I'm going to look up my library

653
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 3: list of like the songs that were Is it my

654
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:34,919
Speaker 3: nineties road trip thing?

655
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 1: No? But wait while you look with for that, say

656
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 1: what you just said about Touchstone. I noticed he connects

657
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: to some pretty deep lyrics like yeah and storyteller and

658
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 1: just like and he has he's always you know, he's yeah,

659
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: he's he's got a rich sort of inner emotional life,

660
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 1: and so it's just like, I don't know, nice to

661
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: know that that's still there, you know, like he's a

662
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: deep feeler.

663
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, like yeah, I like the song is kind of sad, dude,

664
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 2: and he's like.

665
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:18,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why when let me just tell you. When

666
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 3: Brad was like, do you want to go see Incubus

667
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: at the Hollywood Bowl, I was like, ink you Like

668
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: I laughed so much. I was like, incubists, come on.

669
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 3: But also I wasn't really allowed to listen to music

670
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: in the house, Like we didn't have a stereo. We

671
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 3: didn't have music in our house really until probably I

672
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 3: was seventeen and my parents finally oh and then it

673
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 3: was a lot of Latin music. And I had a

674
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 3: little radio I think until I was ten and then

675
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 3: it broke and then so it was really just like

676
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 3: the stations in the car. So I didn't always know

677
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 3: who was singing what because it was back before the

678
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 3: song would pop up on the thing, right, So unless

679
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 3: the DJ told you what the song was as the

680
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 3: play was going, and I listened to a lot of

681
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 3: alternative music, and I had no idea that these songs

682
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 3: that I connected to so deeply were incubus until I

683
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 3: was at the Hollywood Bowl bawling my eyes out, scream

684
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 3: singing the fucking lyrics out loud, like h wish you

685
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 3: were he Like. I was like, oh, this went dad

686
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 3: Like it was very intense. It was so intense, and

687
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 3: I just didn't even know, right, Like, I didn't know

688
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 3: that that was part of my nostalgia, because you know,

689
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 3: I don't I choose what I listened to now in

690
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 3: the car, right and most of the time now I

691
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 3: listened I still listened to nostalgic music, though it's more

692
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 3: like prime country, like all these country songs from the

693
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,919
Speaker 3: early nineties that I listened to in the car. There's

694
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 3: literally a station on Serious called Prime Country, and I

695
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 3: do love it.

696
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:09,879
Speaker 1: I listened to nine days hip hop playlists on Spotify.

697
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, more, better, more. I mean, what's a song from

698
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 3: your like high school era, high school or early college.

699
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, it just takes you back from.

700
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: Oh Man, oh Man, pretty much any song from the

701
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: Miseducation of Lauren Hill, that album I used to listen

702
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: to so much like literally every zion and like it's

703
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: just all of them. Don't speak by no doubt is

704
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: one don't speak. I remember christ singing in my room.

705
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really too bad about her.

706
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, sad. And then lastly, I just want to read

707
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: some of these bullet points from this other article called

708
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 1: five tips to transform nostalgia from yearning to Hope, and

709
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: I think, Okay, I didn't really get I think this

710
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 1: is good for people who, yeah, like nostalgia makes them

711
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: feel like sad.

712
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,439
Speaker 2: I sent this article to my husband as well.

713
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: So the first three things that lists is uh, what

714
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: like can sort of come with nostalgia, And the first

715
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: one is fear. Hiding underneath the covers of nostalgia is fear.

716
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 1: We can fear loss, for example, missing the physical that

717
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 1: in your face love we felt when we were kids,

718
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: like your pain or suffering, or you know, the time

719
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:52,760
Speaker 1: is moving quickly you talked about.

720
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 2: That death death number two.

721
00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 1: Beliefs about lack nostalgia wouldn't exist if we felt love, health,

722
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 1: and prosperity were abundant. This emotion shines a spotlight on

723
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 1: deep seated beliefs that we have about the world in ourselves.

724
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: If we feel unlovable or believe we'll never be loved again,

725
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,399
Speaker 1: we will pine for a time when we did feel love.

726
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 2: And then the third one is guilt.

727
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: A secondary emotion that comes on the heels of nostalgia

728
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 1: is often guilt. When I mentioned my son's age out

729
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: in the world, a common response is often a wistful sigh. Wow,

730
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:29,280
Speaker 1: it goes by fast, and I always feel an immediate

731
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: tensing in my body in a wave of guilt. Am

732
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 1: I appreciating this time enough? Am I capturing enough photos

733
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 1: and videos? I've felt this When people like my endzo

734
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: is about.

735
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 3: To be I just get mad.

736
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 2: I'm like guilt.

737
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: Wait a make it about you, right, I know, yeah,

738
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: don't tell me we're going through a rough time right

739
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 1: now with the kids.

740
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 3: Let me love it, let me live it. Okay, yeah.

741
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: So suggestions for processing nostalgia is one step into the

742
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 1: present moment when we yearn for a different time or

743
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 1: whishing ourselves out of the present moment. Feeling disconnected from

744
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 1: the present moment is a hallmark of many mental health conditions,

745
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: including dispression anxiety. To get back into the present, take

746
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 1: a moment to get centered and try activating your senses.

747
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 1: Number two, ask yourself probing questions. When a pang of

748
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,879
Speaker 1: nostalgia hits, analyze it. Ask yourself, what do I fear

749
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: in this moment? Where am I perceiving a lack? Put

750
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 1: the paper away for a little bit and come back

751
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: to it. How valid are those thoughts? Are you sure

752
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: you'll never feel loved again? Often our beliefs are driving

753
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 1: us to feel bad. What beliefs do these fears uncover?

754
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 1: Number three, release the guilt easier so than done. Nostalgia

755
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 1: driven guilt is self critical thinking and feeling. Create an

756
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: exercise to help release it. Does guilt inform any changes

757
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: you'd like to make in your life now? For example,

758
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 1: are there people whom you want to apologize or with

759
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: whom you'd like to spend more time with?

760
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 3: I don't ever want to apologize for any of my behavior.

761
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: For this is I think my favorite one and one

762
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,879
Speaker 1: that I think I do when I feel like sad.

763
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: When I'm in nostalgia and I'm feeling sad, connect with gratitude.

764
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: Think of three things for which you're grateful for right now?

765
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 1: What is going well with your life? What do you appreciate?

766
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: And I would add to that like a gratitude for

767
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 1: that time that happened. I was gonna say, like, like

768
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: for the thing that happened, you know, like I will

769
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:34,280
Speaker 1: get really nostalgic about like my yeah child, my college

770
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 1: days or yeah when my kids were littler, or like

771
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 1: our time on Brooklyn, And if I start to feel

772
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: myself like sinking into sadness, I try to redirect and

773
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: just be like, oh my god, but thank god it happened,

774
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: Like how lucky am I that that happened that I

775
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: had that time?

776
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 2: Like it was so beautiful you.

777
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 1: And then the last one is use nostalgia to uncover

778
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: your desires. When you investigate your nostalgia, you get a

779
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: sense of what you want more in your life. If

780
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: you miss cuddles with your children when they were young,

781
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 1: look for new ways to get love and cuddles into

782
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: your life. Perhaps you can give your friends hugs when

783
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: you see them, or consider adopting an animal or volunteering

784
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: at a shelter dog.

785
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 2: When you reimagine your.

786
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: Nostalgia as something you desire in the present, you can

787
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 1: look for opportunities to fulfill those wishes.

788
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 3: That is so rude, ah, how drag drag me I

789
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 3: do feel dragged because, like I avoid nostalgia mostly because

790
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 3: I mean, like I said, I surround myself with it

791
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 3: and simultaneously avoid it at the same time. But I

792
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 3: love slash Heye, what do I What do I want

793
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 3: from that?

794
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 4: Like?

795
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 3: What is my desire wrapped up in there?

796
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

797
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 3: Because like if I'm wistful for something that happened, what

798
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 3: is it that I want to happen in my future

799
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:57,840
Speaker 3: that is? Yeah, you know?

800
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 2: Or do I feel like honestly.

801
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 3: It's probably my eyes surround myself with this funny yeah,

802
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 3: because I'm like, I liked this, I want more. Yeah,

803
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 3: Like it's a really interesting take. I like that a lot. Ooh,

804
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 3: I like that.

805
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,320
Speaker 2: I like that I did too.

806
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 3: More better. That's my big takeaway from today, not like

807
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 3: yeah yeah that and the gratitude too.

808
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 1: I think I think those two really hit for me

809
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 1: as well, like grounding it in gratitude and like, I'm

810
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: surprised the article didn't say, like gratitude for the thing

811
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,280
Speaker 1: that you're feeling nostalgic about.

812
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 2: It was like it was like, you know, be grateful

813
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:35,800
Speaker 2: in the president.

814
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, like, be grateful for the thing that's

815
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: making you, you know, especially if it's a positive experience,

816
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 1: which I think. Yeah, I don't think negative experiences make

817
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 1: us feel nostalgic necessarily.

818
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 2: I'm not nostalgic for nine to eleven.

819
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 3: Some nostalgic can be No, God was.

820
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 2: Sorry I went dark? I really did.

821
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 3: I know there's nothing darker. I mean, there's things that

822
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,760
Speaker 3: are darker, the things that are darker, but sadly.

823
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 1: And yeah, and I really yeah, I do really like

824
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 1: that last tip of like, is it making me feel

825
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,359
Speaker 1: sad or wistful because I wish I had that that

826
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: thing or that feeling or that experience somehow in my

827
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: present life?

828
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 2: And can I can I do anything about that? Yeah? Yeah,

829
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: Sometimes the answers the answers yes.

830
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 3: Sometimes it might be yes.

831
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's yes. Yeah.

832
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,919
Speaker 3: I do feel a little more better about nostalgias.

833
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 2: I'm glad. Yeah you came into this. I don't want

834
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 2: to talk about nostalgia still.

835
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 3: I still feel a little that way, but I like,

836
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 3: I feel a little more better about it. What about you?

837
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do, I yeah, I I I kind of

838
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: like nostalgia, but I like these sort of tips of

839
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: how to keep it hopeful and positive.

840
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 2: And not yearning and sad And yeah, yeah, all right.

841
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 3: That's sounding like a Charlie XCX.

842
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

843
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way, did you see it?

844
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 3: Now? What wuthering? I?

845
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: Oh no, I haven't seen it yet. I'm gonna I

846
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: know it's top of the list. I'm I'm way behind

847
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: in my.

848
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 3: I don't know if it should be top okay, but

849
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,839
Speaker 3: it should be on the list. It's on the list

850
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 3: as like there's as a cultural phenomenon. Okay, guys, why

851
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 3: don't you write us in and let us know if

852
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 3: Melissa should see Yeah, I spuit a hole on the

853
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 3: sosh or should she just wait until it comes to

854
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 3: her TV and then watch it at home it's on

855
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 3: her couch. She let us know if you've seen it.

856
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: Okay, Well we did it.

857
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 3: That's it for today.

858
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 2: Yeah you next time.

859
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 3: Thanks for being here, guys, see you next time. More

860
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 3: Better Dude, you have something you'd like to be more

861
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 3: better at that you want us to talk about in

862
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 3: a future episode.

863
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

864
00:46:58,600 --> 00:46:59,720
Speaker 1: one of our tips and tricks?

865
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 3: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter Pod at

866
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 3: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

867
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 3: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better

868
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 3: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and

869
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 3: iHeartMedia's Mikultura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz, and

870
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 3: Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by ISIS Madrid and

871
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 3: Sophie Spencer Zebos.

872
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:25,359
Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Fumero, along

873
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: with Wilmar Valderama and Leo Klem at w V Sound

874
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:29,720
Speaker 1: and ISIS Madrid.

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Speaker 3: This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by

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Speaker 3: Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and

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Speaker 3: Hello Boy. Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and

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Speaker 3: photography by David Avolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

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Speaker 3: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

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Speaker 2: To your favorite shows.

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Speaker 3: See you next week, suck us Bye,