Speaker 1: I leave, then I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us.
Speaker 2: Time and a German alaye.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 2: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it? Re scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do your need ride.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris? Welcome? Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Christopher Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Lynn Kilgariff.
Speaker 3: Well we went a little longer with our names this time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so good.
Speaker 3: Usually I go by Chris Fairbanks. There's a legal reason
Speaker 3: I don't go by Christopher. But today I thought, tonight
Speaker 3: I thought today, and tonight I thought I'd fly by
Speaker 3: the seat of my pants.
Speaker 1: Have you been thinking about this all day?
Speaker 3: About coming out as Christopher? Today and tonight, I've been
Speaker 3: wearing certain outfits and dancing around with the idea of
Speaker 3: coming out as Christopher. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how's it feel?
Speaker 3: It feels good.
Speaker 4: I feel free.
Speaker 1: I like your polka shirt.
Speaker 3: I feel transparent. No, there's another actor in town named
Speaker 3: Christopher Fairbanks who right when I moved to al he
Speaker 3: came to my show at MBAR and he said, hey,
Speaker 3: we have a problem.
Speaker 1: Ha ah, you said race to the TV, motherfucker.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had already won. He's been on Hunter.
Speaker 1: Oh shit. So he's eighty two years old, he's.
Speaker 3: In his fifties. He's a tall, bald man. I guess
Speaker 3: i'd handsome. Of course, sure, he's a Fairbanks. Why wouldn't
Speaker 3: he be?
Speaker 1: He a Fairbanks? Does he have bad joints too?
Speaker 3: I guess he deserves from living a longer life. Mine's
Speaker 3: just a gift from God. But uh yeah, I am
Speaker 3: going back to being Chris Fairbanks. And this is Do
Speaker 3: you need a ride?
Speaker 1: It's better, it's more casual, thank you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be all you know, formal.
Speaker 1: You don't own a restaurant.
Speaker 3: I don't own a cumber bun.
Speaker 1: You don't own it. You don't own it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. My name, My name isn't who I am? Well,
Speaker 3: actually quite literally, it is.
Speaker 2: It is, and it is for everybody. It Still we
Speaker 2: could say other things, have those be true?
Speaker 3: How are you doing?
Speaker 1: There's a couple of Christophers for you right now?
Speaker 4: Look at the girl.
Speaker 3: Look at the look at the gams on. That guy's
Speaker 3: got some big old but he's got it. He's got
Speaker 3: a curvy. That guy is a I just like the guy.
Speaker 3: The way that guy was shaped is that? Does that
Speaker 3: sound weird for me to say?
Speaker 1: Not at all? I mean it's hard. It was hard
Speaker 1: to deny he's wearing shorts. It's march.
Speaker 3: I was looking at the guy with the Every once
Speaker 3: in a while you see a man men men carry
Speaker 3: uh extra weight in different ways than women oftentimes, but
Speaker 3: occasionally occasionally you'll see a man with a big round
Speaker 3: woman ass, and I love it. One of those guys,
Speaker 3: he had pockets of fat everywhere one would have muscle,
Speaker 3: so he had like big pecks but then a big,
Speaker 3: big bubble. But sh and uh, I don't know. He
Speaker 3: just looked like a special breed.
Speaker 2: Of like a Saint Bernard type or one that would
Speaker 2: save you from the river.
Speaker 3: Yeah, with a little barrel around.
Speaker 1: That's a good dog. Should you drive back by, let's
Speaker 1: cat call him dog?
Speaker 3: Call him?
Speaker 1: Oh man, what's going on with you today?
Speaker 3: I had a massage on my in my entire body,
Speaker 3: full body massage. She said, you have the tightest hips
Speaker 3: of anyone any age. Oh that I've ever massage. I
Speaker 3: think that's what she said. There was a language barrier,
Speaker 3: but I she was very helpful. But now I'm in
Speaker 3: a lot of pain.
Speaker 1: Because of she shook it all out.
Speaker 3: I just don't realize I have our threats because it
Speaker 3: comes and goes. But when once you get rubbed down,
Speaker 3: man painful. Yeah, I'm in a lot of pain now,
Speaker 3: but it's a I feel like i'd let out toxins
Speaker 3: or whatever that he must say about massage and yoga.
Speaker 3: I really think there is something to that. I was
Speaker 3: storing a lot in my hips.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you got the tightest hips in town,
Speaker 2: you're going to pay somehow.
Speaker 1: Yeah for all you got to that's worth it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you're storing all your stress and your hips,
Speaker 3: but where do you store your will to live? That's
Speaker 3: what she said. At one point. I thought that was
Speaker 3: a little over.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a challenge. Yeah, were you gonna it?
Speaker 1: Was it gonna be a kill bill situation where suddenly
Speaker 1: you had to fight her I.
Speaker 3: Just or just for no reason at all, put on
Speaker 3: a yellow unit hard.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that would help your hips? Yeah, that
Speaker 2: would open that shit up.
Speaker 3: Open up the pussy wagons.
Speaker 2: Gave it loose one time listeners and viewers, I like
Speaker 2: to say viewers, one time viewers. Chris Fermicks and I
Speaker 2: can't remember what we were doing. We were not recording.
Speaker 2: We were driving somewhere together and whatever I was telling
Speaker 2: you about. At the end of my thought, you just
Speaker 2: yelled keep it loose at the top. And it's to
Speaker 2: this day one of the funniest things that I've ever heard,
Speaker 2: keep it loose. It was like your advice to me
Speaker 2: for my life, and it's very, very true and good advice.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna text Chris Garcia.
Speaker 2: Chris Garcia from San Francisco, I am a nor haller.
Speaker 3: That's a Tignataro joke. That's not my joke.
Speaker 1: That's not a joke.
Speaker 3: It's it's a joke because it's a non jokes. That's
Speaker 3: a rhyme.
Speaker 1: It's dumb favorite kind. It's anything with aids.
Speaker 3: The only yeah, me too, me too. I'm gonna pretend
Speaker 3: I never said it.
Speaker 1: Oh me too. Sorry.
Speaker 3: The only reason I did say it was because it
Speaker 3: was probably just a reflex it was it was it's
Speaker 3: a joke that it was a dumb joke, that I
Speaker 3: had with an old roommate, and we used to say
Speaker 3: it all the time between each other, and then every
Speaker 3: once in a while, you say those things out loud
Speaker 3: during a podcast.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: Now I want to read start recording every time I
Speaker 3: say the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: I want to I judged you. Let me just tell
Speaker 1: you this.
Speaker 2: I had an extreme case of vulnerability hangover after our
Speaker 2: last podcast that we did, well, not our last one,
Speaker 2: the one we did with Georgia hard Stark.
Speaker 1: Was that our last one? Yeah, that was the one before.
Speaker 1: But we talked.
Speaker 2: We talked about very vulnerable things on that podcast. We
Speaker 2: were talking about vulnerability in general. Then we both told
Speaker 2: very vulnerable stories.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I was cringing for a seventy two hours after
Speaker 2: my story of almost being pansed in high school because
Speaker 2: I didn't in my memory. When I got home, I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I didn't tell that on the podcast.
Speaker 2: I told that like when we were like then, I
Speaker 2: was like, no, I recorded that for all time, Like
Speaker 2: every part of that story.
Speaker 3: Was isn't that funny? How this is forever me saying's
Speaker 3: the dumbest joke in history, which I've now repeated, that
Speaker 3: will someone can anyone that's ready to like, well, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna I'm going to look through social media to get
Speaker 3: upset about something today.
Speaker 1: That's there.
Speaker 3: This is gonna do it.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be in a file, could be a dusty
Speaker 2: one in the way in the back of the filing cabinet,
Speaker 2: but it's going to be there.
Speaker 3: My brother struggle with AIDS in that very city.
Speaker 4: And for you to.
Speaker 1: Flippantly say stay twos.
Speaker 3: And it doesn't even rhyme, it's a non joke.
Speaker 2: She'll say, that's me, right, you're talking about me, Yes,
Speaker 2: you you.
Speaker 3: I noticed that you leave a lot of negative comments
Speaker 3: on our podcast, and I know that I.
Speaker 1: Just wants to toughen up. It's kind of a great
Speaker 1: Sini thing doing.
Speaker 3: For us, isn't he?
Speaker 4: What's he?
Speaker 3: A balancing act?
Speaker 1: That was that movie where the dad was a big asshole.
Speaker 3: He said, Uh, he's coming out. Oh isn't that San
Speaker 3: Francisco of him? Look at me with all the offense.
Speaker 3: Jabbin left and yeah, I'm really pushing some buttons.
Speaker 2: Okay, there's a grammar school on this site, in a
Speaker 2: Korean church on this side.
Speaker 3: You know, it took me years to realize grammar school
Speaker 3: was another word for elementary school, and that is an
Speaker 3: inspector Crusoe looking man. Shit, he's behind us. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: he just hadn't come out yet, he said coming out,
Speaker 3: which is that's when I made a confusing joke. But
Speaker 3: he will come out.
Speaker 2: And I'm rolling my window down because it's it's just
Speaker 2: like summertime hot.
Speaker 3: Today is awful.
Speaker 1: It's crazy.
Speaker 3: It's a muggy enjoy some of the outdoor the sights
Speaker 3: and sounds of our visual podcast.
Speaker 1: It smells beautiful, it'll smell like.
Speaker 3: Pe Sometimes I do watch our podcast like you'll watch
Speaker 3: it and I look at the SoundCloud.
Speaker 1: You just stare at that thing there he is.
Speaker 3: Look at his collegiate shirt. There he is California Berkeley
Speaker 3: his shirt.
Speaker 1: Hi friend, Hello Chris.
Speaker 3: Chris Garcia entering the vehicle, entering the two thousand and
Speaker 3: eight going on the other side because he's a professional.
Speaker 1: Hi, Chris Garcia, how are you good?
Speaker 3: Of course, thank you for needing one. It's good to
Speaker 3: see you. There's a little microphone right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chris Garcia. Where's your show tonight?
Speaker 4: My show is at Stories in Echo Park. It's called
Speaker 4: Good Heroin.
Speaker 3: Have you ever done the Good Heroin Show? It's very
Speaker 3: It's one of these shows where you're gonna be like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, how do they get all these people
Speaker 3: to show up? It's kind of like that Best Fish
Speaker 3: Taco show where it's just off the charts, off the chains. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's off the charts. And that's more like the medical
Speaker 3: industry version of off the chats. You're off the charts
Speaker 3: here with your cholesterol and then you're gonna love it.
Speaker 3: And the last that was the last great time I've
Speaker 3: had doing stand up comedy is a good Heroin show.
Speaker 3: You should do it, Karen.
Speaker 1: I was invited to do it and then I had
Speaker 1: to cancel.
Speaker 3: Oh, they aren't gonna like that.
Speaker 2: That's kind of my thing and the comedy shows around town.
Speaker 2: So I say yes and then I don't come.
Speaker 3: How do you feel, Chris when you have to cancel?
Speaker 1: Does it?
Speaker 3: Do you anguish over it?
Speaker 4: Like I do? I feel guilty?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, they're seeing guilt.
Speaker 4: That's my security blanket.
Speaker 1: Yeah, guilted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always. I always cloak myself in a nice
Speaker 3: quilt of guilt. Quilt of guilt.
Speaker 1: It's this is Matt Ingebretson's show.
Speaker 3: Matt inga beets say, Matt ingebret Sin's.
Speaker 5: Name and David Ross, I can't do a British.
Speaker 2: Actually did Heroin and then they named the show good Heroin.
Speaker 3: Oh really he did? Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: He was like a almost a Heroin addict. Who is
Speaker 1: this David Ross?
Speaker 4: Oh? Really? He smoked it in college?
Speaker 3: Well, I mean once.
Speaker 5: I think he did it a while, and he did
Speaker 5: it so much that he had a final to do
Speaker 5: and it was soccer. All he had to do is
Speaker 5: show up and play soccer for this final and decided
Speaker 5: not to do it, so he just did Heroin instead,
Speaker 5: and because of that he graduated with less of a
Speaker 5: than a three point zero.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's I mean. I jokingly smoked crack once, but
Speaker 3: that's because me and my friend knew it was funny.
Speaker 3: We're like, this is hilarious. We're smoking crack, let's laugh
Speaker 3: about it. How was it really lame? Really lame? Never
Speaker 3: would do it again? Felt very bad for several days after.
Speaker 1: Was it like a crazy high.
Speaker 3: We just had come across? No, not for me, man.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's because you know, I don't have any voids
Speaker 3: that need to be filled since I'm spiritually I can't
Speaker 3: even come up with a lie.
Speaker 1: Oh no, the chills ever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it is. Thanks. Yeah, Sometimes
Speaker 3: caring has to put things into perspective.
Speaker 1: Chris, what's the craziest drug you've ever done?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the biggest, heaviest.
Speaker 5: I'm not, well, I'm not a crazy drug person, but
Speaker 5: I did.
Speaker 3: But I mean, it's okay, you're in a safe place.
Speaker 5: I did acid one time in college and I was like,
Speaker 5: I'd just broken up with my long distance girlfriend and
Speaker 5: it was the night before finals and I had like
Speaker 5: multiple finals, and I didn't know. I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: it's just probably last like half an hour or something
Speaker 5: like weed. And I did the eye dropper kind like
Speaker 5: vizine kind, and I.
Speaker 4: Did like three or four drops in each eyeball.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 5: And I ended up writing an eight page hate mail
Speaker 5: to Jennifer Lopez.
Speaker 4: And I stayed up all night. I thought I was
Speaker 4: a piece of gum.
Speaker 5: I put speakers on like the other side of my head,
Speaker 5: and I listened to a What's that song like jim
Speaker 5: nople d Number six, like Eric's Oh, and then I
Speaker 5: just cried and I felt the music come out of me.
Speaker 5: And then I missed my finals except for one.
Speaker 4: I went to the final and I slept oh no, okay.
Speaker 5: And I was in Berkeley and I was walking down
Speaker 5: Telegraph Avenue and I had my first day of work
Speaker 5: at Ned's Den, like the bookstore, and my job was
Speaker 5: like I was supposed to scrape off the stickers off
Speaker 5: used books. And I just walked in and then just
Speaker 5: walked out and I bumped into a parking meter and barfed. Oh,
Speaker 5: and I was like, I guess I should go to
Speaker 5: my final.
Speaker 3: Wait, is this another this is another story about doing
Speaker 3: drugs this morning?
Speaker 4: No, this is the next morning. This is the night before.
Speaker 3: It's a parallel story though, yes, yes, cross and his final.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 5: I was like school related, man. And then I walked
Speaker 5: through campus. I there's this part of campus that there's
Speaker 5: like biology.
Speaker 4: There's a biology building.
Speaker 5: There's all these white vans and I walked between these
Speaker 5: two and I saw like a little people couple, like
Speaker 5: a midget couple holding hands.
Speaker 4: And I screamed because I was like in this weird.
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm sorry, oh god, no, never mind. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Fairbanks moment was like.
Speaker 5: And then I fell asleep in the bushes, like outside
Speaker 5: of my class. And then I talked to my teacher.
Speaker 5: He was like a Nobel, not a little well laureate,
Speaker 5: but he was like a MacArthur scholar, this guy named
Speaker 5: Tom Gunn who was like this amazing British or Scottish
Speaker 5: from the UK. It is this amazing poetry teacher and poet.
Speaker 5: And I told him. I was like, sorry, I did
Speaker 5: acid for the first time and I have nothing in
Speaker 5: my brain, like I have whole thing left. And he
Speaker 5: was like, well, in the sixties I wrote a book
Speaker 5: about acid.
Speaker 4: Do you want to talk about it? And he took
Speaker 4: me out for a beer.
Speaker 5: It was like the first time I ever went to
Speaker 5: a bar and we talked about acid and how it
Speaker 5: makes you feel the infinity. I have a grasp of
Speaker 5: the like infinite present moment. And then he was like,
Speaker 5: don't worry about your final that was that was pretty cool.
Speaker 5: That was a good talk. Just maybe just turn in,
Speaker 5: just turn something in about this experience by the beginning
Speaker 5: of next semester. And so I wrote about my experience
Speaker 5: and then he set me notes on it and his book,
Speaker 5: and in the book he wrote, two Christian model students,
Speaker 5: that's so great for doing.
Speaker 1: Drugs, for doing drugs, that's because you went to Berkeley.
Speaker 4: That is so it's like the most Berkeley experience.
Speaker 1: It's totally But here's the thing, I can't.
Speaker 2: I'm still very nervous about three drops in each eye.
Speaker 1: That is so intense.
Speaker 3: That's that's beyond getting like, you know, funneling vodka and
Speaker 3: your anus, isn't that Did I just make that up?
Speaker 3: Didn't you do that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really I was.
Speaker 5: I missed all of my finals and I had to
Speaker 5: explain it to my teachers, and none of them are
Speaker 5: cool about except for tom Gunn.
Speaker 1: Tom gun I'm going to read a book of his.
Speaker 5: He's really cool. And then I had like withdraw from
Speaker 5: pretty much. It was like I wasted my semester. Some
Speaker 5: a couple of teachers let me turn in my just
Speaker 5: like okay, you're sick. But it really kind of messed
Speaker 5: me up for like a week or two. And oh
Speaker 5: I saw I remember, I saw Rice. I went to
Speaker 5: the sink and I saw Rice on a spoon and
Speaker 5: I started crying on control toy for like twenty minutes
Speaker 5: because it ruined my world.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I love the part where you thought
Speaker 3: you were gum.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I thought I was.
Speaker 5: I was sitting on a bean bag and then I
Speaker 5: thought I was like, oh yeah, I'm a bean bag too,
Speaker 5: or I'm.
Speaker 4: Just like a piece of gum.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 5: But I actually did acid for the second time, like
Speaker 5: fifteen years later. It was like this summer, and I
Speaker 5: was like, Okay, maybe my brain wasn't formed right at
Speaker 5: the time. And I wasn't like I don't know, I
Speaker 5: was just a kid. I didn't know how to take
Speaker 5: this stuff. And I went camping with my friends and
Speaker 5: took it. And I walked into the woods by myself,
Speaker 5: and I was like, this is my comeback. And I
Speaker 5: stared at the trees and I saw like, you know,
Speaker 5: like a pit bull's face in a.
Speaker 4: Tree, and it looked like maybe like a wolf.
Speaker 5: It's just you know, in the tree bark it just
Speaker 5: like it just you know, it was hallucinating recording artists.
Speaker 1: In the woods.
Speaker 4: Mister worldwide.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 5: And I got frustrated with the acid not being strong enough,
Speaker 5: and I started yelling at it, and my friends like
Speaker 5: heard me from like a couple of camp grounds and
Speaker 5: I was like, that's all you've got, That's all I
Speaker 5: was scared of. And I was having this crazy like
Speaker 5: battle with being high on acid. And being like it frustrated.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like, I'm frustrated this and then I
Speaker 4: was maybe. I was like, this is what I was
Speaker 4: scared of fifteen years ago.
Speaker 5: This is this is what made me drop out of
Speaker 5: school almost.
Speaker 3: That's amazing to me and night. To me, acid is
Speaker 3: a very heavy drug because I base it on how
Speaker 3: you feel afterwards. Because the time I took it, it was
Speaker 3: the same thing. Someone had dripped it into it, dripped
Speaker 3: it onto sugar cubes, and I was like, sugar cubes.
Speaker 3: I'm not I'm not afraid to eat no sugar cubes
Speaker 3: and ate like four of them. This was long. It
Speaker 3: was a long time ago in my snowboarding days and
Speaker 3: I danced and had fun for like two days. It
Speaker 3: was the best feeling I'd ever had. But then in
Speaker 3: the days afterwards, I could feel every joint cracking my spot.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'm very poisoned my whole body.
Speaker 3: I did you experience that, like your joints cracking?
Speaker 4: And well, I was like I felt like flu sick
Speaker 4: for like a week or two.
Speaker 3: Okay, I felt Yeah, boy, drugs are no good. Huh.
Speaker 1: They're crazy.
Speaker 3: I mean they opened your eye, but they also opened
Speaker 3: your immune system to a lot of undesirables.
Speaker 2: I always felt like more should happen. We had I
Speaker 2: did acid once and we had a Christmas party and
Speaker 2: so I had to host a party on est But
Speaker 2: it actually was the most fun thing ever and everyone
Speaker 2: told me like that was the best party and you
Speaker 2: were the best hostess, and I had I decided it
Speaker 2: like we did it like you know noon. So by
Speaker 2: the time the party, we were it was like third
Speaker 2: Wave by the time the party started, right, but we
Speaker 2: had decided. I decided I was gonna wear this outfit,
Speaker 2: and like you know how girls have this much more
Speaker 2: than guys, but you buy outfits sometimes just randomly are like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'll never wear this, but I have
Speaker 2: to buy it.
Speaker 1: Right, So I had this.
Speaker 2: I had a like a it wasn't late text, but
Speaker 2: it was like this weird plastic dress that this zipped
Speaker 2: up the front. And I decided I was finally gonna
Speaker 2: wear the plastic dress that was silver and then this
Speaker 2: weird like fifties kind of see through blouse underneath it.
Speaker 1: But it was December.
Speaker 2: It was a Christmas party, so I was freezing, like
Speaker 2: literally my lips were blue. But I didn't know, so
Speaker 2: I was like, hey, what welcome people thought I had
Speaker 2: blue lips.
Speaker 3: Describing Jane Fond as costume in some specific movie Barbarella. Yes,
Speaker 3: thank you continue that was kind of it.
Speaker 1: It was just stupid.
Speaker 2: And then basically everybody, by the time the whole party
Speaker 2: was over and all the people that did acid together
Speaker 2: just stayed at my house and like passed out on
Speaker 2: the living room floor and everyone fell asleep, and I
Speaker 2: was laying there and I had spinning Goofy and Mickey
Speaker 2: Mouse's in my eyes, so like I couldn't go to sleep.
Speaker 2: Part of the yeah, it was like part of the
Speaker 2: acid trip. But it was like I was just seeing
Speaker 2: like these very commercial cartoon things just spinning and circuit.
Speaker 3: Did they tell you you would You're gonna see Disney characters?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: Oh god no, that was.
Speaker 2: Just a bonus for me personally. Wow, that's like how
Speaker 2: lame my brain is. It was just like, here's the
Speaker 2: thing you got sold when you were eight.
Speaker 3: Well, it's a piece, it's a safe place, I suppose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess so, I don't know. I think as
Speaker 1: it's kind of dumb.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's all yeah, I like the organic natural yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, and things that last, like you said, you thought
Speaker 2: it was gonna last half an hour, like pot, like
Speaker 2: the idea.
Speaker 1: It just lasts too long, all those drugs do.
Speaker 3: It's crazy.
Speaker 4: It's too long.
Speaker 1: It's too long.
Speaker 4: Four hours max.
Speaker 1: Right, a movie and some pizza, that's all you need.
Speaker 3: That's terrific. I love it. But I've never done Heroin.
Speaker 3: It's a bad one. That's the one that everyone knows
Speaker 3: you're not supposed to do.
Speaker 1: It's just too scary. It's not worth it.
Speaker 3: It isn't worth it. I don't care how great it feels.
Speaker 3: Someone could say it feels like your whole body is orgasming, orgasming,
Speaker 3: and I'd say, I don't care.
Speaker 1: Man, Well, no, that feels like.
Speaker 4: The exact opposite of that. So what's the point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like moments later.
Speaker 2: When you're well, yeah, it makes your life feel the opposite.
Speaker 2: That's you're we're not supposed to live that way. No,
Speaker 2: we're supposed to, you know, we're supposed to buck up
Speaker 2: and live in the real world.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: You have orgasms every once in a while with your
Speaker 2: husband or wife.
Speaker 3: Yes, under the eyes of God.
Speaker 1: In between beds, sleeping separately, we.
Speaker 3: Scoot them together on weekends and.
Speaker 1: Then kiss lightly and leave each other alone.
Speaker 3: Light to mid heavy.
Speaker 1: Petting Saturday nights only.
Speaker 3: Come on, keep it in the weekend.
Speaker 1: Don't get greedy, Chris. What else is going on?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you spill your guts, Chris.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm so. I get a little nervous on
Speaker 5: podcasts because.
Speaker 4: I usually just go to like revealing too much about myself. No,
Speaker 4: all we do, which is that buttle when I was seven?
Speaker 3: That's real. I was just talking about a seven year
Speaker 3: old butthole before you got it. Yeah. No, I'm just
Speaker 3: saying we before you got in, we were talking about
Speaker 3: how we just blurt and we think it's between each
Speaker 3: other and then we realize thousands, sometimes six or seven thousand. Brag.
Speaker 3: But you're on a very popular podcast, very popular. Originally
Speaker 3: Karen and I were going to do a podcast about
Speaker 3: Alzheimer's because both our moms have Alzheimer's. And then I
Speaker 3: and your and your dad and you have that story.
Speaker 3: I think you did a show when I was in
Speaker 3: San Francisco, and that's when you did a show that
Speaker 3: can you tell me about that show that kind of
Speaker 3: got you on like this American Life and Mark Marrin's
Speaker 3: podcast and everything. Wasn't it one show that kind of
Speaker 3: it was?
Speaker 4: I guess it was part of Yeah, it was kind
Speaker 4: of based on that set.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 4: It was my last big show before leaving San Francisco.
Speaker 5: I had done comedy for like eight years, seven years
Speaker 5: or something, and I was headlining the punchline. It was
Speaker 5: a kind of big deal and part of the reason
Speaker 5: I'm I mean, I moved down to help take care
Speaker 5: of my dad.
Speaker 4: You know, he's got Alzheimer's and stuff, and.
Speaker 5: Started getting really bad, and I just started decided to
Speaker 5: like pour my heart out at the show, and I
Speaker 5: just talked about it and how difficult it was, and
Speaker 5: but it was funny, like I I cried like half
Speaker 5: of the time on stage. His first time, I was
Speaker 5: like crying, but also like cracking jokes about it. And
Speaker 5: it felt like the first time I ever really did
Speaker 5: stand up right.
Speaker 4: I was just like so honest and.
Speaker 3: Like and he was saying that it. People are gonna,
Speaker 3: of course, draw parallels because it's kind of like what
Speaker 3: Tick did when she would talked about and she wasn't
Speaker 3: didn't really plan to get emotional that talked about having
Speaker 3: breast cancer on stage it was around that time, and
Speaker 3: it was kind of a similar reaction, wouldn't you say, where, Well, here's.
Speaker 5: This amazing and it's like her, that's her story and
Speaker 5: her moment, her coming out. I was talking about my
Speaker 5: dad and like it's like different, but is similar in
Speaker 5: the way that it was like, whoa, where did this?
Speaker 4: This came out of the blue?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And it was, and I think it was probably you know,
Speaker 5: some people thought it was special.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And you I remember because afterwards, because I was
Speaker 3: in town bravely doing jokes about my balls and you
Speaker 3: and then we all met at that bar where a
Speaker 3: lot of fixed gear guys hang out and play billiards
Speaker 3: and uh, and you you did have this feeling or
Speaker 3: this look on your face that you were you were
Speaker 3: very excited about what had just happened. Yeah, And I
Speaker 3: was just kind of overhearing it. But then I remember
Speaker 3: it turned into a lot of things, right, didn't It
Speaker 3: turned into an appearance on.
Speaker 5: Well it was crazy because I mean, there was a
Speaker 5: couple of really wild things about it. It was the
Speaker 5: first time my therapist ever saw me do comedy. And
Speaker 5: when I showed up to the club known as There,
Speaker 5: except for he was sitting in the very front row,
Speaker 5: and I've been.
Speaker 4: Seeing him for two years, and he could he doesn't
Speaker 4: know anything about my standing.
Speaker 5: I mean, he knows that I stand up, but he
Speaker 5: doesn't know if I'm good or anything, right, he just
Speaker 5: knows behind the scenes.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh shit, I'm really nervous, so.
Speaker 3: I got would make me very nervous.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was freaking out.
Speaker 5: And he's like a ballbuster too. He's like this seventy
Speaker 5: year old. He's like this little gay Italian man that
Speaker 5: was like he grew up in the Bronx and he's
Speaker 5: kind of socialized Jewish and he's like you would just
Speaker 5: be like.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, listen to yourself. Why don't you just
Speaker 4: how about this?
Speaker 5: How about we just record this one time and then
Speaker 5: you don't have to come anymore. I'll just listen to
Speaker 5: the same tape every week because you aren't learning anything.
Speaker 5: Just give me one hundred and fifty bucks every week
Speaker 5: and just don't fucking come in anymore. I loved him
Speaker 5: because it was you. I it was It's the type
Speaker 5: of person I need, you know, rather than someone that
Speaker 5: just sitting there and listening. I get frustrated that this
Speaker 5: guy was awesome and I was like, oh, man, I
Speaker 5: gotta knock it out of the park.
Speaker 4: For this guy now.
Speaker 5: And then I go outside and Bobcat Coolthway's there because
Speaker 5: I asked him to do the show and he happened
Speaker 5: to be in town Ray Buddi's and next to Bobcat
Speaker 5: is Robin william and I was like, oh my god, Hi,
Speaker 5: how are you? Jokingly I was like, do you want
Speaker 5: to do some time? He's like yeah, sure, And I
Speaker 5: was like, now Robin Williams is here, and the one
Speaker 5: I had met him once before at comedy Day and
Speaker 5: I was really drunk and he was backstage, and I
Speaker 5: was so drunk that I was like kind of cocky
Speaker 5: and his he used to live next door to Alley
Speaker 5: Wong's sister, and so I was like, hey, Robin, we
Speaker 5: have a mutual friends, you know, Alleywong's sister, and she
Speaker 5: keeps complaining that she has to sweep your arm hair
Speaker 5: out of her driveway. And then he was like and
Speaker 5: just turned around, and I was like, oh.
Speaker 4: Like a wasted asshole. And then I knew he didn't
Speaker 4: remember who I.
Speaker 3: Was, but joker just went about his arm hair.
Speaker 4: He and so I was like, oh, nervous. I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: well he right, he doesn't remember, but it's just it's
Speaker 4: Rob Williams. And so I was like, Bobcat, my therapist
Speaker 4: is here. And Rob Williams is like, oh shit, He's like,
Speaker 4: what are you gonna do? He's like, that's crazy. And
Speaker 4: then we hung out in the green room.
Speaker 5: He was really nice, and I was like, oh, this
Speaker 5: is really crazy. It's my last show in talent, it's
Speaker 5: my first time headlining the punchline.
Speaker 3: That was right before you moved to to La, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was my big going away show and I
Speaker 5: wanted to do it big so I wouldn't ever come back,
Speaker 5: right right, And so I was like, okay, I'm not
Speaker 5: going to.
Speaker 4: Make a fool out of myself and move back one day.
Speaker 4: I have to. Like that's why I was like, had
Speaker 4: Bobcats and other people want and stuff.
Speaker 5: And then I went on stage and I you know,
Speaker 5: did my jokes, my standard jokes, and then I just
Speaker 5: started really opening up fell my dad and it was
Speaker 5: really it felt really beautiful, and it felt like really
Speaker 5: the first time I was like, oh, this is this
Speaker 5: is comedy right here, this is you know, it's just
Speaker 5: not gags and is like this is this is what
Speaker 5: is really funny.
Speaker 4: It's like, you know, my.
Speaker 5: Dad like trying to get it on with my mom
Speaker 5: and then stopping himself and being like I can't do this.
Speaker 4: I have a wife and two kids, and.
Speaker 5: Like him trying to cheat on her with her and
Speaker 5: all this stuff that is like really unique to my life.
Speaker 3: But yeah, that's the best joke ever. But it actually happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it happened.
Speaker 5: And then I got off stage and I was like,
Speaker 5: I was like, it felt crazy because I just cried
Speaker 5: in front of like a packed house and stuff, and
Speaker 5: Ron Williams is just standing in the hallway and he
Speaker 5: just was like he gave me a hug and he
Speaker 5: was like that was I think he was like that's
Speaker 5: hilarious and beautiful and from the heart and like I
Speaker 5: still get shivers and yeah, I think about it and
Speaker 5: it was like this hearing that from him at that moment,
Speaker 5: it was like one of the greatest experiences of my
Speaker 5: whole life. And then I think some you know, some
Speaker 5: people were there that were like, hey, put me in
Speaker 5: contact with like the people at this American Life and
Speaker 5: then Marin or something or WTF. Yeah, and then I
Speaker 5: did WTF.
Speaker 4: And it was like a live one and it was
Speaker 4: really fun. Yeah, so cool, and that helped me get
Speaker 4: this American life.
Speaker 3: Oh that's great.
Speaker 1: How many people?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but I was just gonna say, it's that
Speaker 2: thing of like I'm sure thirty percent of the people
Speaker 2: that were in the audience had somebody in their family that.
Speaker 1: Had to Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2: Like it's that kind of thing where you think it's
Speaker 2: so it's only happening to you, and actually it's happening
Speaker 2: to a shit ton of people every day. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I always assume it's happening to older people, like the
Speaker 3: age with my dad, with my dad, when it was
Speaker 3: happening with my dad and his mom had it also
Speaker 3: known as my grandmother, but uh, that's more common. But
Speaker 3: when it's I always think that because we're young people,
Speaker 3: the three.
Speaker 4: Of us, it's.
Speaker 3: Traditionally you know people, you would think we wouldn't have
Speaker 3: to deal with this for another fifteen twenty years. But
Speaker 3: there is a lot of people being affected. I think
Speaker 3: more and more. Yeah, it's like people are getting it younger.
Speaker 3: I think, don't you guys think am I just making
Speaker 3: that up?
Speaker 4: I think my dad.
Speaker 5: Got it like sixty five just like pretty young. I
Speaker 5: feel like like early onset.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom started showing signs at fifty nine.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's bizarre. But in how long how much
Speaker 3: time has passed? Like six seven years?
Speaker 5: Like it wasn't so bad at first, and they actually
Speaker 5: thought they misdiagnosed him and thought he was just like depressed, right,
Speaker 5: like guys that like like newly retired people, like older
Speaker 5: guys just feel useless or something and they're kind of
Speaker 5: bummed out and subdued. So then they were like, oh,
Speaker 5: he doesn't have it, and then he started, you know,
Speaker 5: getting forgetful and aggressive.
Speaker 3: And the only way they can ever because they can't
Speaker 3: really diagnose it. There's such a spectrum of all this
Speaker 3: dementia and just behavioral stuff that is under the same umbrella.
Speaker 3: It's like they don't know it's Alzheimer's until you do
Speaker 3: specific things like your actions help diagnose it.
Speaker 4: I guess it's cruel. It's such a crazy disease.
Speaker 5: It's like anything, I don't know, you could be forgetful,
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 4: There's just so many different.
Speaker 5: Ways it like attacks you almost you know, like and
Speaker 5: it's hard to tell.
Speaker 4: What it is.
Speaker 5: Like, Oh, maybe he's just forgetful, maybe he's cranky, he's depressed,
Speaker 5: maybe he's irritable. Maybe I don't know, he's getting old
Speaker 5: and he just got loopy.
Speaker 3: But then something happens where you know for sure that's
Speaker 3: what it is, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, for my dad, it was when I was I
Speaker 5: was in San Francisco and my mom called me at
Speaker 5: like six pm. My parents live down here in LA
Speaker 5: and she was like, hey, so your dad is missing.
Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, okay, and she's like, he's
Speaker 5: been missing since seven o'clock in the morning. I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: what the fuck mind you you're telling me now at
Speaker 5: like six pm, Like, did you call the cops? And
Speaker 5: since she's like a little Latina lady that doesn't call
Speaker 5: the cops, she's like, no, why would I call the cops?
Speaker 5: And then I called the cops and it was and
Speaker 5: then they were like, oh, well, you know, someone's got
Speaker 5: to be missing for twenty four hours before they're missing
Speaker 5: considered missing. And I was like, he has Alzheimer's. He
Speaker 5: could be under a fucking bus right now, You've got
Speaker 5: to look for him, right and it and then they
Speaker 5: might they found my dad in south central LA he
Speaker 5: took the bus from Redondo Beach to South Central, LA
Speaker 5: and he waved down a cop and was like, I
Speaker 5: need help, and then they drove them back home. That's interesting,
Speaker 5: but that's for me when the first time, I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: she like this is real.
Speaker 3: Yeah. My mom got on a bus once in Spokane
Speaker 3: and took it across town. But had she not been
Speaker 3: telling people she had murdered someone, which my mom never
Speaker 3: murdered anyone. Well, that's what caused someone to call the police,
Speaker 3: and then they contacted my sister. She's like, I killed somebody.
Speaker 3: You know when you have I have a reoccurring dreams
Speaker 3: where I'm like I killed somebody and I forgot about it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I ever have that, I don't know why. And
Speaker 3: then you wake up and it's like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: did I really kill somebody in my twenties. Of course
Speaker 3: I didn't, because in my dream I killed them ice
Speaker 3: sitting in a chair, and that we were on water
Speaker 3: and they drowned. That's not really even murdered. That's just
Speaker 3: a precarious situation.
Speaker 4: It's not yet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but I yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: It's it's that thing where they start to slip into
Speaker 2: that like dream world. My mom used to do a
Speaker 2: lot of like she you could tell she wasn't asking
Speaker 2: questions that she really wanted to ask because she didn't
Speaker 2: want to freak anybody out. But then like one time
Speaker 2: we were sitting there and she just turned the me
Speaker 2: and she goes, who are those people? And like she
Speaker 2: was seeing people in the room with us, and there
Speaker 2: it was just trying eye. So there would be you know,
Speaker 2: there's always that. Like that's why it's such a fucking
Speaker 2: hideous disease is because it's degrading and it's it's you know,
Speaker 2: like it makes crazy. You know, someone going crazy is
Speaker 2: just so dehumanizing. But then also it's so scary for
Speaker 2: the people that are there with the people.
Speaker 1: It's just like it's.
Speaker 2: Just like a really long, boring horror movie that you
Speaker 2: can't get out of.
Speaker 5: And it's like it's dangerous for the care like your
Speaker 5: their caretakers or whoever they live with. Like for my
Speaker 5: dad would just like constantly walk in the middle of night.
Speaker 5: He'd like grab a knife and think someone was like
Speaker 5: trying to break in, and he would like become violent
Speaker 5: and like break things. It's like it's yeah, I mean,
Speaker 5: it's the worst for the person that has it, but
Speaker 5: it's really.
Speaker 3: Got it's interesting to hear your stories. And then because
Speaker 3: there's similar my mom, Yeah, walking around out side with
Speaker 3: no shirt, just in her bra holding a hammer, but
Speaker 3: not threatening people. She just happened to have been hanging pictures.
Speaker 1: And then I thought it was like the last thing
Speaker 1: in her he I'll.
Speaker 3: Go outside before I put on a shirt, and so
Speaker 3: it's such a it's it's such an interesting I wonder
Speaker 3: how similar those situations are and.
Speaker 2: If the well, that's it, you know, they get the
Speaker 2: sundowners thing, where like they walk at night when the
Speaker 2: sun goes down, they start to get really restless.
Speaker 1: My dad got a call from our neighbor once.
Speaker 2: And it was a woman who told my dad that
Speaker 2: the day before she had found my mom walking downtown
Speaker 2: and so she gave her a ride home. And my
Speaker 2: dad had been taking a nap and just thinking that
Speaker 2: my mom was in the house with him.
Speaker 1: And so he didn't even know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he didn't even know what happened until she called
Speaker 2: and said, I just realized you should probably know this,
Speaker 2: and this is you know, this is a thing. But
Speaker 2: it was just my mom like in a in a robe,
Speaker 2: walking around downtown in our town.
Speaker 3: In a row.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just walking around and thank god our neighbor drove by.
Speaker 2: Like who knows what would have happened, but like our
Speaker 2: neighbor drove by and said, Patter, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? And she she like was
Speaker 1: aware enough to go, yeah, I do. I need to
Speaker 1: ride home.
Speaker 3: That's what's so devastating about because I see a lot
Speaker 3: of homeless people, and you know, it's safe to assume
Speaker 3: that a lot of homeless people are mentally ill, more
Speaker 3: than half of them, Yeah, but a lot of them.
Speaker 3: I'll see a woman and you can just tell by
Speaker 3: looking at her that she is a mom, and you
Speaker 3: can tell sometimes, like it sounds dumb, but I'll look
Speaker 3: at like a homeless person's shoes and it's like, wait,
Speaker 3: you've only been homeless for like a week and you're
Speaker 3: carrying a lampshade, and I it's that could have been
Speaker 3: anyone's parent. That's just someone that didn't get a call.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: Because they didn't. And then someone's like, oh, my mom's
Speaker 3: missing and maybe maybe she's just downtown in skid Row.
Speaker 3: I'm doing a bad job of like describing that, but.
Speaker 5: No, but I've become like really since it or like
Speaker 5: a tune of that. Like just a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 5: I saw some just old guy standing in front of
Speaker 5: Walgreens staring at the door, right, and I went to
Speaker 5: Trader Joe's and I came back out and he was
Speaker 5: still there, and I was I just hello, Siah, okay,
Speaker 5: like yeah, how are you?
Speaker 4: Like, what's your name? Like talk to him for a second.
Speaker 4: He's like, oh, oh yeah, nothing, I'm okay, Like okay,
Speaker 4: but I was like that could be right, you know, that.
Speaker 3: Was a yeah, yeah, it's sad.
Speaker 5: Sorry, it feels nice to like, you know, we do
Speaker 5: these shows and stuff and afterwards you find out that
Speaker 5: other you don't feel still alone because other people. You know,
Speaker 5: my mom has, my dad has, my grandpa died from
Speaker 5: it and all this stuff, and then to bring light
Speaker 5: to it is like it's humanizing this terrible, dehumanizing disease again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it is.
Speaker 5: Funny, Like my mom recently there was my dad was
Speaker 5: like there's this other small my mom's really short, and
Speaker 5: there's this new lady in his he's in a home now,
Speaker 5: and there's this new patient who's this small Japanese lady
Speaker 5: who has my mom's same name, Hannah, and my dad
Speaker 5: was like just started holding her hand and being sweet
Speaker 5: to her, and my mom would come visit and my
Speaker 5: dad would be like, who's this bitch? Like to my mom,
Speaker 5: like get out here? Would you please leave us alone?
Speaker 5: And my mom would be like they've been married for
Speaker 5: fifty years, they were high school sweethearts. My mom lost
Speaker 5: her virginity to my dad, oh like and she's like,
Speaker 5: what the heck fuck, and she's like getting super frustrated.
Speaker 5: And then like maybe like six months later, my mom's like, hey,
Speaker 5: that lady a lady Anna died and I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: that's terrible, and my mom was like that's what that
Speaker 5: bitch gets.
Speaker 4: But I was like, oh shit, Like that's just funny.
Speaker 5: And I know my mom doesn't really mean, she's just
Speaker 5: cracking a joke, but it's like, ah, that's a good one.
Speaker 4: It's like the darkest.
Speaker 2: Well it's because it gets to me, it's like ten
Speaker 2: times funnier. Like my sister and I have like cried
Speaker 2: laughing over the darkest shit because you're not you shouldn't
Speaker 2: be laughing at it, and then it just that makes it.
Speaker 1: Like one time my mom came downstairs and she.
Speaker 2: Was just wearing a fleece zip up and no pants
Speaker 2: and a pair of sunglasses, and.
Speaker 1: She came into the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Like, my mom's was especially painful for us because she
Speaker 2: she stayed herself in these certain ways and then these
Speaker 2: other ways. She was so different, right, so she would
Speaker 2: every once in a while you'd get a flash of
Speaker 2: her old personality. So, like she came down and she
Speaker 2: was just staying there with their sunglasses on, and then
Speaker 2: my sister like, hey, Mom, what's up, and she's like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, and like kind of like super like
Speaker 2: we were dorks and she was the coolest person ever,
Speaker 2: and we like could not stop laughing. It's just like
Speaker 2: she always grabbed sunglasses. Everywhere she went. She grabbed and
Speaker 2: put on sunglasses when they weren't hers. It was just that,
Speaker 2: oh she put them. That's what she wanted. She wanted
Speaker 2: to have sunglasses on. Oh okay, it so it was
Speaker 2: it just added that extra kind of like almost internet feel.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's so great. Yeah, it's interesting how because I
Speaker 3: feel like my mom was just kind of trapped in
Speaker 3: the shell of a person that used to be her
Speaker 3: because she can't talk anymore, can't eat on her own.
Speaker 3: But she makes facial expressions and looks at things and
Speaker 3: then turns to talk shit about them or make fun
Speaker 3: of someone's because my mom would just make fun of people.
Speaker 3: That's where I got it. And uh she but she
Speaker 3: nothing comes out. But I'm like, oh, I know you're
Speaker 3: being funny right now, and so I just laugh even
Speaker 3: though the joke never came out. She's just like, I know,
Speaker 3: she's making a look on her face and get a
Speaker 3: load of uh, funny bridges over here, like not that
Speaker 3: she would use that word whatever, but but but so
Speaker 3: it's they're still there. So you have to just hold
Speaker 3: on to these little reminders, you know.
Speaker 4: That's the whole thing that makes it like work.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm going.
Speaker 3: To go after that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I hate her so much.
Speaker 3: Oh she was on a little scooter, a scooter.
Speaker 2: And I was just trying to take a left turn. Yeah, wait,
Speaker 2: what's what time's your show?
Speaker 4: Chris?
Speaker 1: It's we better go there.
Speaker 3: He's not going to be first. He's a heavy hitter.
Speaker 3: It's a loose show. Hey, Chris, I mean we've had this.
Speaker 3: I think this has still been funny this whole time.
Speaker 3: But I was excited for us.
Speaker 1: The whole time.
Speaker 3: I mean, I liked it. My transition into getting you
Speaker 3: to talk about it, I've been so awkward this whole time.
Speaker 5: No, I was hoping that we were talking. We would
Speaker 5: talk because we have it's so nice to, you know,
Speaker 5: talk to the people.
Speaker 3: And I've just out in the streets or in our
Speaker 3: personal life have wanted to talk to you about this,
Speaker 3: So why not record it and try it out for
Speaker 3: the first time in front of a bunch of people.
Speaker 3: But not to change the subject. But the show you're
Speaker 3: gonna do is going to be very fun and you're
Speaker 3: about to have a very good time. I promise.
Speaker 1: What this is saying is no crying.
Speaker 3: Please, yeah, yeah, do your best dick jokes.
Speaker 5: It does feel sometimes I would like I was like, okay,
Speaker 5: I feel like talking about my dad, and I'll do it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you good sports bar right now. They're gonna
Speaker 3: love it. This crowd. It's behind a bookstore, so something
Speaker 3: about passing a bunch of books people adjust their brain.
Speaker 3: I think a little. They're like, uh, it's just a
Speaker 3: good it's a smart audience. Maybe I was there in
Speaker 3: a good night but I was blown away by how
Speaker 3: nice this audience that you're about to experience.
Speaker 1: So it is it over there? Do you guys know
Speaker 1: what it is?
Speaker 4: That next light? It's the block after that next light.
Speaker 4: But I think if you just.
Speaker 6: Make a left of that light, but to the right,
Speaker 6: correct to the left, we're gonna take Here's we're going
Speaker 6: to take a right, and then once we're on this street,
Speaker 6: which the sunset will be on our left.
Speaker 3: I just made it more confusing by adding words, Yeah,
Speaker 3: we actually take a left here, and then we'll do
Speaker 3: the sneak attack in the alley because that's where the
Speaker 3: performing actually happens. And then there's some nice urban wall
Speaker 3: murals that I I like to call them urban wall
Speaker 3: murals rather than graffiti because there's a negative connotation with that.
Speaker 3: Really Yeah, and I call the tramp stamp tattoo and
Speaker 3: I call them the lower back piece. Don't you still
Speaker 3: have butterfly reggae lyrics?
Speaker 1: I have a salmon. I don't know why. I was drunk.
Speaker 2: Things got really dark in the nineties and I wanted
Speaker 2: to commemorate it.
Speaker 1: With a fish.
Speaker 3: I have a tattoo of a band aid on my ankle,
Speaker 3: so real. Yeah, you've never seen it.
Speaker 1: Feel better.
Speaker 3: It's right there. Never seen it just looks. I mean
Speaker 3: it's kind of it's shaded, so it looks like a
Speaker 3: corn dog or a severed human peanut.
Speaker 1: But it's a band aid tattoos.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I uh, I think it's right.
Speaker 5: Have a tattoo of a Pablo Picasso is sketching on
Speaker 5: my arm?
Speaker 3: Oh really?
Speaker 5: So I think nine to eleven had just happened, and
Speaker 5: George Bush was being all weird and I was like, yeah, Picasso.
Speaker 4: It gets warmed. Grnic is too big.
Speaker 5: To get this little bullplight scene. I have to see that,
Speaker 5: and it's I had no hair on my shoulder when
Speaker 5: I got it.
Speaker 4: Now it's like covered in hair.
Speaker 3: That show is I can just pull in.
Speaker 1: Here, I think. So yeah, what about check cashing payday love?
Speaker 3: Oh? Well, people want to do that round the clock.
Speaker 1: Ah oh this is perfect.
Speaker 3: Look at this rear entry.
Speaker 1: Off Chris. Are you getting married right?
Speaker 4: Yeah? In October?
Speaker 1: In October? How's that going?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 4: Fun planning it and stuff.
Speaker 5: We're gonna get married in Joshua Tree.
Speaker 4: And uh it was funny. My mom in a really
Speaker 4: Catholic and traditional and she's.
Speaker 3: Like, so, what church is like a Joshua Tree in
Speaker 3: the Church of the Desert.
Speaker 4: Yeah, who's gonna be who's going to be the pastorns
Speaker 4: Alex Cole Wacamedian.
Speaker 3: Friend is Alex Cole gonna officiate?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gonna officiate. And she's like, oh, your Jewish
Speaker 4: friend is like is he a rabbi?
Speaker 5: He's like, I don't want to talk about it, mom,
Speaker 5: it's gonna be outside. It's gonna be okay.
Speaker 3: Oh that's great. That's refreshing to hear someone's parents still
Speaker 3: being religious. But that's just where I come from. No
Speaker 3: one's religious in Montana.
Speaker 4: Oh I's holding it down for everybody.
Speaker 1: Oh good, good, good, good lady. Is she doing good?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, she's doing She started going to therapy.
Speaker 5: My sister and I were like, hey, you gotta go
Speaker 5: to therapy, and which is hard Latin people. It's like,
Speaker 5: I'm not going to tell a white person my secrets, right,
Speaker 5: I tell God my secrets and that's it. Yeah, And
Speaker 5: they're like, okay, well, you should still go to therapy.
Speaker 5: And she's been going and she's been uh, she's been
Speaker 5: doing really well. And she yeah, you know, my dad
Speaker 5: just have like a birthday and those holidays are always tough.
Speaker 5: But she was like in good spirits and my dad
Speaker 5: tried to blow out the balloon, trying to.
Speaker 4: Beat the candle. But we're like, oh, let's have it
Speaker 4: was fun, like it's sweet.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so she's doing she's she's a real tough lady.
Speaker 5: And my dad used to handle a lot of the
Speaker 5: stuff before he got sick, and she's just knocked it
Speaker 5: out of the park and she's like taking care of
Speaker 5: stuff and oh, that's great. She lost her car key
Speaker 5: recently and she went to like some shady guy in
Speaker 5: her neighborhood to get a new key made. And the
Speaker 5: guy was like, it's it's like he made the key
Speaker 5: and it was like it's a hundred bucks and she's like,
Speaker 5: I don't have a hundred bucks, Like give me your watch,
Speaker 5: and then she was like, I'll fucking call the cops
Speaker 5: right now, motherfucker.
Speaker 4: And she like went off on him.
Speaker 3: Oh that's great.
Speaker 5: And also she thought he was ripping them off. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and she's like that and it's like, oh no, those
Speaker 5: keys are actually one hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 5: But she's like standing up for he like stuff like
Speaker 5: this little lady had never done. She's like become a real.
Speaker 3: Tough atrong thing to do.
Speaker 1: Boundaries.
Speaker 3: It's got an alarm on it and stuff, and it's
Speaker 3: an expensive key. But yeah, saying give me your watches. Yeah,
Speaker 3: she deserved that. Good for It's great, that's awesome. Well
Speaker 3: do you want to do your comedy concert? Ryan Singer?
Speaker 4: Oh, it's that beautiful hair.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's got a nice head of hair. Who else
Speaker 3: can he's got real.
Speaker 4: Uh Matt far from Atlanta.
Speaker 3: I don't know her.
Speaker 4: Wow, good guy, funny guy.
Speaker 3: Excuse me singer.
Speaker 4: Have you heard Singer's latest podcast where he does DMT
Speaker 4: with Shane Moss. No, they do DMT like Ryan does
Speaker 4: it for the first time in Shane's an expert and
Speaker 4: walks him through it. And then Shane does it and
Speaker 4: he's done it so much that he's like totally talking
Speaker 4: through his experience.
Speaker 3: He's like whoa Oh. I thought Shane Moss was like
Speaker 3: a sober guy.
Speaker 4: Now he was.
Speaker 5: And then I guess he does zyahwuaska or No, he
Speaker 5: does like DMT and stuff, but I don't.
Speaker 1: Think he drinks is DMT like ayahuasca.
Speaker 4: I think it's like the cliff note, it's like the
Speaker 4: fifteen minute version.
Speaker 3: Oh well, ayahuasca I've been told by some people you
Speaker 3: like have to go and be guided through by a shaman,
Speaker 3: then being a yurt and all this stuff and there.
Speaker 3: You can't just go out and take it and go
Speaker 3: out to a show or something. You have to like
Speaker 3: an experience because everyone kind of sees the same is
Speaker 3: visited by a guide. And I'm interested in doing it myself.
Speaker 1: I have a shaman I can put you in touch.
Speaker 3: With do you have?
Speaker 1: I swear to God?
Speaker 3: Well, I have a sherpa and I know that you were.
Speaker 1: Going to go to Yeah, we can do like we've
Speaker 1: been talking about.
Speaker 3: I also, I'll give you a chicken shwarma if you
Speaker 3: let me use your and you have that what's a
Speaker 3: fourth word that? It's so fun to play.
Speaker 2: I could do a kind of a swing reference if
Speaker 2: you have no if you had no boundaries, no standards whatsoever.
Speaker 3: When did I ever, of course, don't have a new boundaries? Boundaries?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, do.
Speaker 1: You ever do bounderies? It's the best drug.
Speaker 2: It's like DMT mixed with ayahuasca and three drops of it.
Speaker 3: Makes you act like a hyper dog.
Speaker 2: Wait you guys, I'm loving this because look it's like
Speaker 2: a little there's like a little green room out in
Speaker 2: this alley and we're just looking at it, Yeah, from
Speaker 2: the car the gate, like we can just watch as
Speaker 2: comedians kind of Hi, how are you together?
Speaker 4: Ye?
Speaker 3: Comedians just acting like dudes together.
Speaker 2: Look at those dudes just duting around for the love
Speaker 2: of comedy.
Speaker 3: Just patting each other on the back, already being so supportive.
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of backpack.
Speaker 3: A lot of backpackers. Maybe they need a sharp you know.
Speaker 3: I don't think that there's that kind of supportive that
Speaker 3: if that was a group of lawyers we were just
Speaker 3: looking at.
Speaker 2: I'm not going there and just start slapping people on
Speaker 2: the back even if they don't know me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean nothing against lawyers, but fuck them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: This is the funnest part of the show, Chris, is
Speaker 3: that while you're doing comedy, there's people in these apartments
Speaker 3: that I just assume one of them would end up
Speaker 3: being a sniper. I was horrified, and I said, just
Speaker 3: some sniper up there, surrounded by cats. And then everyone
Speaker 3: looked up and sure enough, there's a shadowy figure of
Speaker 3: someone surrounded by cats and the whole I mean, there
Speaker 3: was no I could have planned that, but I think
Speaker 3: it made me have one of my favorite concerts of
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 1: So use your space, use what you see, use your space.
Speaker 3: Here's some tips, Chris, the unsolicited advice going into this show.
Speaker 3: I use the stage.
Speaker 1: Cat them on the back.
Speaker 3: Yes, everyone you're coming, like even the audience walk through,
Speaker 3: pat their back, feel it out, experience. It's tangible, awesome.
Speaker 3: Oh look at them.
Speaker 4: Yea car.
Speaker 3: It's hot in here.
Speaker 1: It's really hot.
Speaker 3: Hey, Chris, thanks for being on. Do you need a ride?
Speaker 4: Oh? Thanks so much. This is really fun and.
Speaker 3: Thanks for talking about the things we talked about.
Speaker 4: I love I love every second of it.
Speaker 3: I did too, it was pretty great. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: Do you have anything you want to plug?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I guess every Monday in Echo Park at the Little
Speaker 4: Joy Bar, have my show the business.
Speaker 3: The business. I've done the business.
Speaker 4: And it's great, great, come back and do it again.
Speaker 4: But it's every Monday.
Speaker 3: And what's your Twitter?
Speaker 4: Oh, it's underscore, Chris Garcia.
Speaker 3: It's important to get that, you know, get a couple
Speaker 3: of followers. Thank you for being on the show. You've
Speaker 3: been listening to. Do you Need a ride? D y
Speaker 3: n A. R.