Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of Ieheart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Are we on a air? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're on an air. Guess what's y'all share? Girl? Just
Speaker 1: hilarious and welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode?
Speaker 1: What and Why I will be fixing your mess? Now?
Speaker 1: We don't have any voice memos today. People starting to
Speaker 1: get caught up because the people that they be hitting
Speaker 1: us about be listening to y'all. So people have been
Speaker 1: getting snatched up left and right, Like I heard you
Speaker 1: telling just our business thinking that she could fix our
Speaker 1: shit whole time. You know what I'm saying. I had
Speaker 1: some people writing me right and say, oh my such
Speaker 1: and such had wrote you or sent you a voice memo,
Speaker 1: but they didn't tell you the whole story. And so
Speaker 1: now I gotta tell you, but that person never sent it.
Speaker 1: That was only one person that did that. Then I
Speaker 1: had another person that, uh said that their husband had
Speaker 1: wrote me. It wasn't even a voice memo. They just
Speaker 1: knew their story and how their significant other type. Damn
Speaker 1: Ain't that some private eye detective shit. I know that's right,
Speaker 1: I know that's right. So I think that's why we
Speaker 1: haven't been getting a lot of voice memos. However, we're
Speaker 1: gonna jump into this reading right here. Jess, please fix
Speaker 1: my mess. The backstory is so long, I don't even
Speaker 1: know where to start, but the short version is, I've
Speaker 1: been this guy's mistress for about ten years. God damn.
Speaker 1: He has a girlfriend pretty much his wife, no kids together,
Speaker 1: but they both have kids from different relationships. It's clear
Speaker 1: that he's never going to leave her, and I've always
Speaker 1: known that whatever. Fine, No, the fuck, it's not whatever. Fine, girl.
Speaker 1: I like him and maybe even love him so much
Speaker 1: that I'm willing to be his ride or die mistress.
Speaker 1: It's so many things wrong with that ride or die mistress.
Speaker 1: It's bad enough that you already a mistress, then you
Speaker 1: his ride or die. When the fuck are we gonna
Speaker 1: stop making ourselves available in this accessible to a man
Speaker 1: ride or die? No, I don't even care that. It's
Speaker 1: just the saying words whole power, and I honestly hate that.
Speaker 1: I've never used that term for myself, not as a teenager,
Speaker 1: not as a woman in my twenties, and now I'm
Speaker 1: in my thirties. I don't think I ever wanted to
Speaker 1: be a nigga's riddle, die, I'm telling you, uh huh,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm continuing. So she says, I'm so crazy
Speaker 1: about him. I even moved into the same building as him,
Speaker 1: which his girlfriend also lives in with him. I mean,
Speaker 1: will due. I literally live over top of him. So
Speaker 1: lately he's been busy at work and has not been
Speaker 1: giving me any attention, which is off to me because
Speaker 1: he always makes time for me. Paranoia got the best
Speaker 1: of me, and thoughts of him possibly seeing someone else
Speaker 1: came to mind. Well, how many other people he got
Speaker 1: time to see? If he lived with his girlfriend and
Speaker 1: his other girlfriend live over top of him, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Maybe he might be seeing someone else. Girl, He might
Speaker 1: be seeing his girlfriend, that's what the fuck happened, And
Speaker 1: she may have found out about your little ass, and
Speaker 1: so he need to take the attention off of y'all
Speaker 1: real quick, cause shit getting hot. You don't understand now
Speaker 1: if it is somebody else, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: What does that make you number two? Or number three?
Speaker 1: What does that? I mean You're not number one? Now, listen,
Speaker 1: you don't have a problem with that. Be that as
Speaker 1: it may. I'm here to tell you that's some bullshit.
Speaker 1: That's wrong. I don't know how old you are. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing in your life right now,
Speaker 1: but I mean, I can't even say that you're a
Speaker 1: young woman. I know you've given ten years of a
Speaker 1: one sided relationship to a man. And the reason why
Speaker 1: I say it's one sided because I bet he's your
Speaker 1: only one, but you're not his only one, and you don't.
Speaker 1: I hate to talk to other women like this, but
Speaker 1: wake your ass up. Do you know you're so valuable,
Speaker 1: You're so beautiful, you deserve to be the only woman
Speaker 1: a man is with. Do you not know that you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I need you to wake up here.
Speaker 1: I would love to know how old you or I
Speaker 1: would love for you to write me some more and
Speaker 1: give me some more information about you, because baby, I
Speaker 1: feel very very sorry. Actually I am very very upset
Speaker 1: with you. I don't feel sorry for you, though, because
Speaker 1: you willingly gave this nigga ten years of your life.
Speaker 1: You willingly did that. I hope you ain't in your forties.
Speaker 1: I hope you ain't in your thirties. Baby. I hope
Speaker 1: you're not older than twenty five. That's what I really,
Speaker 1: really fucking hope and I hope this ain'ts some old
Speaker 1: last man who got money, because I hear this story
Speaker 1: all too often. Baby, you can go get your own money,
Speaker 1: or you can go get you somebody your age with
Speaker 1: some other fucking money, or you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And it's so many, so many opportunities of love for
Speaker 1: you in life. And you and you're sharing willingly, sharing
Speaker 1: a man with one, maybe two other women. That's some
Speaker 1: crazy shit you live in. All y'all live in the
Speaker 1: same building with Natara Peter and a mana going to
Speaker 1: fuck on what is going on? I know you better
Speaker 1: not get pregnant, and I know you better not ever
Speaker 1: think about knocking on ay motherfucking door because guess what,
Speaker 1: who ain't gonna leave her? Okay, she lived with the nigga.
Speaker 1: She the closest to the nigger than you. You still
Speaker 1: live by yourself, so there's still hope. Because he ain't
Speaker 1: living with you. You need to move out that goddamn building.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that, But I'm also tell you this.
Speaker 1: I guarantee you if you leave this man alone, he'll
Speaker 1: come crawling. He'll come crawling, and you gotta be strong
Speaker 1: enough to say no. See, he's used to you chasing
Speaker 1: and chasing and chasing and chasing. That's why he put
Speaker 1: you on the back burner for whenever it's convenient for
Speaker 1: him to talk to you, for him to deal with
Speaker 1: you ten years. Girl, please leave that motherfucker alone and
Speaker 1: still stay in the same building. If you can't, just
Speaker 1: up and leave. So I say, still stay in the building,
Speaker 1: but start dealing with somebody else, Start having another nigga.
Speaker 1: Come over there, girl, what the fuck? Get your mind
Speaker 1: off that shit. That man is downstairs, not worrying about
Speaker 1: you one bit until he sees you, until he lays
Speaker 1: his eyes on you, and he's probably scared to death
Speaker 1: every fucking night that you're gonna not go on the
Speaker 1: fucking door, you know what I'm saying. But that ain't
Speaker 1: gonna do shit, and ain't gonna do shit. She probably
Speaker 1: she probably will be mad at him, but she ain't
Speaker 1: gonna go nowhere. You just told me he ain't never
Speaker 1: leaving her. You think she leaving him? And do you
Speaker 1: think you the first person that he cheated with. She
Speaker 1: probably already know he cheated, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Or he's cheating, so you gotta be smarter than her.
Speaker 1: You gotta be smarter than him. Get the fuck about
Speaker 1: the situation, Update me and give me some more meat
Speaker 1: on the bones. Let me know what you end up
Speaker 1: coming up with, a girl. Let me know what you
Speaker 1: come up with. I can't believe that if you love me,
Speaker 1: you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Move it on. Hi there, Jess, please fix my mess.
Speaker 1: I took a break from dating, and I decided to
Speaker 1: cut my family completely off the beginning of this year.
Speaker 1: I realized that I was carrying this childhood trauma for
Speaker 1: twenty years and put it past me. When I cut
Speaker 1: my family off, m I finally came to terms that
Speaker 1: my mom will never sincerely apologize for choosing a sick
Speaker 1: man over her daughter, and my siblings picking sides. Lately,
Speaker 1: I've been smiling a lot more social and the word
Speaker 1: no has become my favorite word to say. I know
Speaker 1: what that feel like, boll. I am in full control
Speaker 1: of not letting anybody disturb my peace. I know that's right.
Speaker 1: The minute I've recognized a red flag, that person is
Speaker 1: getting dropped with no more warnings. Now I am ready
Speaker 1: to start dating, but I feel like I won't be
Speaker 1: taken seriously, since I am not close with my family,
Speaker 1: do you think a man will still want a relationship
Speaker 1: with me if the chances of meeting my family is
Speaker 1: very slim? Thanks in advance. All right, well, baby girl,
Speaker 1: It all depends on how bad your family issues has
Speaker 1: affected you. How have they affected you. It seems like
Speaker 1: it's a lot of family trauma there, because if you
Speaker 1: had to cut your family completely off, who maybe it
Speaker 1: was very unhealthy for you and mentally unhealthy for you
Speaker 1: as well, because you're not supposed to surround yourself with
Speaker 1: anything but positivity and love, even if there is hardly
Speaker 1: any around you. You have to create that space for
Speaker 1: you to feel safe and to have a peace of mind.
Speaker 1: If your family was interfering with that or contributing to
Speaker 1: the wrong side of it and or even to your
Speaker 1: well being, then I am all for your decision. But
Speaker 1: family is family, you know what I'm saying. So I'm
Speaker 1: never vouching for you to completely cut them off forever,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Sometimes things just you just
Speaker 1: have to y'all have to get to the bottom of things.
Speaker 1: And you know you didn't mention that you will never
Speaker 1: You feel like you'll never get an apology from your mother.
Speaker 1: It's therapy, something that you guys talked about. Do you
Speaker 1: not want to do therapy? Are you not ready? You
Speaker 1: know a lot of people force therapy on people, and
Speaker 1: people just have to go when they feel the time
Speaker 1: is right for them, because a lot of people still
Speaker 1: don't understand what therapy really is and how it can
Speaker 1: actually help you more than hurt you, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, and more than exposing yourself. You really may
Speaker 1: just may just needed somebody to talk to, to hear
Speaker 1: you out and to sort things out for you' That's
Speaker 1: what therapy is, help you cope, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Not in a negative way now, Yes I do to
Speaker 1: answer your question, Yes, I certainly do believe that you
Speaker 1: can still find love with a good man who you
Speaker 1: can explain this to a man with an open mind,
Speaker 1: a man who is going to be patient enough for
Speaker 1: you to explain this shit. Finally, whenever you get the chance.
Speaker 1: You know, you don't just let anybody into your business.
Speaker 1: That's something that you just don't go around saying. Or
Speaker 1: I'll cut my family off because of the d and
Speaker 1: because this happened, and that happened. I don't want them
Speaker 1: to drive you away, and they make me different, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to drive you away because of something
Speaker 1: my family is making me feel and how they're making
Speaker 1: me act, and you know I act a certain way
Speaker 1: because I'm not comfortable around them, or that. You know,
Speaker 1: all of that stuff can be talked about because it's
Speaker 1: not really solely about your family when you're dating unless
Speaker 1: you are a person of tradition where you want to
Speaker 1: get married. You want to bring them home to mom
Speaker 1: and pop. You want to you know, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you have siblings, but you know you want to
Speaker 1: bring them around your grandparents. You want you want your
Speaker 1: man to meet your cousins and you know, your uncle
Speaker 1: and your aunts and stuff like that. If you are
Speaker 1: a person of tradition for a family tradition more specifically,
Speaker 1: I do understand. I understand that. But yes, yeah, just understand.
Speaker 1: When you date, you don't date for your family. Okay.
Speaker 1: And in this story and the fact that you ask me,
Speaker 1: that tells me that you must have feel that you
Speaker 1: lost a relationship due to your family problems. You must
Speaker 1: have gone through something with a family with family and
Speaker 1: a boyfriend or something like that. But yes, baby, all
Speaker 1: hope is not lost for you because you're taking a
Speaker 1: break away from your family, you know what I mean. Now,
Speaker 1: you said completely off, you cut them completely off. But
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say a break. You know, we all
Speaker 1: need each other. Girl. The world is so fucking nuts
Speaker 1: and crazy right now. You have to at least give
Speaker 1: grace to loved ones. I'm not saying be stupid and
Speaker 1: let anybody do anything to you. I'm not saying you
Speaker 1: should willingly take disrespect, no, but just give them grace
Speaker 1: enough because people do change, and it starts with them
Speaker 1: noticing that there was a problem that they could have created.
Speaker 1: You know, the first part is accountability on both ends.
Speaker 1: So yes, yes, because I felt like this was a
Speaker 1: two part story. You told me a lot that I
Speaker 1: want to help you fix with your family, and then
Speaker 1: you told me some with dating. But yes, I think
Speaker 1: you can. But you just update me and keep me
Speaker 1: in the loop and everything, because I really want to
Speaker 1: see you going to date, girl, And I see you
Speaker 1: going to date that's kind of creepy, but I want
Speaker 1: to know that you will get out here. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, There's nothing wrong with that. Like I said,
Speaker 1: just make sure you keep all communication open, be honest,
Speaker 1: and if you get serious with somebody, then that's when
Speaker 1: you start thinking about sitting down with that person, telling
Speaker 1: them all of this information, and hopefully they will still
Speaker 1: love you for you. I don't see a reason why
Speaker 1: man will get up and leave because you and your
Speaker 1: family ain't saying out to aye. You fucking with me
Speaker 1: or you're fucking with my family, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Although there is a bigger picture, yes, weddings and all that,
Speaker 1: but cross that bridge when y'all get there. You gotta
Speaker 1: get past this first. So yes, girl, keep me updated,
Speaker 1: let me know, Hold up, hold up, I know this
Speaker 1: shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds
Speaker 1: of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. This
Speaker 1: is a smooth episode. And then everybody know how to
Speaker 1: spell and y'all doing good? All right, last story. Then
Speaker 1: I'm getting up out of here. I got a show
Speaker 1: at TSU. Y'all at Tennessee State University tonight, y'all? All right?
Speaker 1: All right, dad homecoming, yay, yay, all right. Last one, Jesz,
Speaker 1: I need you to help me fix my mess. Shaking
Speaker 1: my motherfucking head. I have been in an on and
Speaker 1: off relationship with my baby daddy for the past ten years.
Speaker 1: Everybody got this ten word today. In those ten years
Speaker 1: of long on and offs, he has also been with
Speaker 1: one of his baby mothers, who he's been involved with
Speaker 1: for fifteen plus years. Damn, we both have known about
Speaker 1: each other and dealt with it accordingly. Long story short,
Speaker 1: me and him went through a rough patch for about
Speaker 1: a year where we wasn't involved with each other. No fucking,
Speaker 1: no chilling, just straight parenting. Not gonna lie. In that time,
Speaker 1: I did the most. I mean, hey, I was single,
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to act, and I was heartbroken
Speaker 1: and did things I wasn't proud of. Hoh well, aha,
Speaker 1: I see what you did that, she said, hoh well, okay,
Speaker 1: so you went and lived your life. Okay. He was
Speaker 1: a little hot girl. Real quick, I understand, I get
Speaker 1: the translation. Well, fast forward. He got into some legal
Speaker 1: trouble with that same baby mother and the first person
Speaker 1: he called was me, of course, And what did I do?
Speaker 1: Drop everything and ran to him. I mean, because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I still love this man.
Speaker 1: Fast forward to the present. He hold up, did she
Speaker 1: end the damn that? Yall? That's how she ended it?
Speaker 1: How you gonna get me all excited for the damn
Speaker 1: story and then stop right there, damn you. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's some bullshit. I think she did this shit on purpose,
Speaker 1: because how the fuck well, I'm about to give you
Speaker 1: advice from where you began the story until now, and
Speaker 1: then you can give me the second part, because I'm
Speaker 1: damn sure gonna write you back and ask you what
Speaker 1: the fuck is he doing now in the present, because
Speaker 1: you fast forward to the present and then said he
Speaker 1: and then stopped like he caught you about to tell
Speaker 1: me his business or something, and said, bitch, give me
Speaker 1: the phone. Shit. All right. So you've been on and
Speaker 1: off with your baby daddy for the past ten years,
Speaker 1: all right, But he also been dealing with one of
Speaker 1: his other baby mothers, who obviously their child is older.
Speaker 1: You said he been dealing with her for fifteen plus years.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if that if he had
Speaker 1: a baby with you before her, But you come second.
Speaker 1: It's basically what you're telling me. You've never been first,
Speaker 1: is what you also are telling me, because he's never
Speaker 1: left her alone. If it's been fifteen years for her
Speaker 1: and ten years for you, you was the other woman.
Speaker 1: You know, and then she could still be the other
Speaker 1: woman as well. Shit, because what if it's a bitch
Speaker 1: that y'all ain't find out about yet that he been
Speaker 1: around for twenty You know what I'm saying, that you
Speaker 1: just never know. You said, y'all went through a rough
Speaker 1: patch for about a year. Y'all ain't fuck, y'all ain't
Speaker 1: do nothing but just cole parent. And you said that's
Speaker 1: when you did the most because you was heartbroken and
Speaker 1: all of that shit. And then you was basically out
Speaker 1: here on your sexy red shit. You know, you ain't
Speaker 1: say you was the raw dog queen, but you out
Speaker 1: here skiing is what you admitted. And it's all right.
Speaker 1: A lot of women have that phase in their lives.
Speaker 1: It could be before love, after love, all their lives.
Speaker 1: It don't matter, you know what I'm saying. So something
Speaker 1: you did say that I did not like. I want
Speaker 1: women to stop fucking doing. Is reducing themselves. This reminds
Speaker 1: me of what I just said to the girl with
Speaker 1: the first story. This is again you diminishing yourself. You know,
Speaker 1: you are allowing a man to have more than one woman.
Speaker 1: And what I mean by allowing him because you can't
Speaker 1: make him choose you and only you. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, He dealing with y'all for convenience. Like when
Speaker 1: it comes to his convenience, he probably beefing with the
Speaker 1: other bib mother. So that's why he fucking called you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he beefing with her. Shit. Yeah, of course he gonna
Speaker 1: call you. And if he was beefing with you and
Speaker 1: he got into some legal trouble behind you, he would
Speaker 1: call her. Do you not see? Sister, Sister Tya and Tamara?
Speaker 1: Do you not see? That's what y'all are in his eyes,
Speaker 1: twin baby Mama, because y'all both do the same shit
Speaker 1: for him. That's exactly what y'all are. And that's some bullshit.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it takes for me to repeat your mess
Speaker 1: back to you for you to fix it your damn self.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. I know, he your baby daddy. You won't
Speaker 1: always have to deal with him being around, in him
Speaker 1: being in your life because he is the father of
Speaker 1: your child or children, you know what I'm saying. However,
Speaker 1: he's never going to choose only you. I don't care
Speaker 1: how many kids you lay down and have with him.
Speaker 1: He's not gonna ever only choose you. You know why,
Speaker 1: because you're never going to demand that. You don't demand
Speaker 1: that respect from him. You just sat here and told
Speaker 1: me that you and the other baby mother knew that
Speaker 1: he was dealing with both of y'all at the same time.
Speaker 1: Y'all just both accepted it and handled him accordingly. That
Speaker 1: basically mean y'all went along with it. That's all probably
Speaker 1: gave him a little bit of lip and a little
Speaker 1: bit of tantrum, and you know, did whatever y'all thought
Speaker 1: was gonna hurt his feelings. But baby, if y'all still
Speaker 1: at the end of the day laying down with him
Speaker 1: and still jumping when he's say, jump, or doing things
Speaker 1: for him, or sleeping with him when it's convenient or whatever,
Speaker 1: or when you know he's mad and beefing with the
Speaker 1: other one, that's when he over there with you. You know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. All three of y'all may as well
Speaker 1: be in a polyamorous relationship. You know, I know you're
Speaker 1: not attracted to her. I don't know, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just say that. But that polyamorous thing was literally just me,
Speaker 1: you know, being sarcastic. But that's what that is. You
Speaker 1: already know. I mean, well, It's an open relationship, ain't it, y'all?
Speaker 1: Just both still mad about each other. When you feel
Speaker 1: that he favors her more, you get upset. You just
Speaker 1: said you do the fucking most, and you go out
Speaker 1: and you start hoing, you know what I mean. Common
Speaker 1: denominator is him. Get rid of him, Learn how to
Speaker 1: co parent without co fucking him. Learn how to co
Speaker 1: parent without still being his doormat. Learn how to do that.
Speaker 1: A lot of women do this shit too often, you know,
Speaker 1: more often than not. I can't stand it. Know you're
Speaker 1: fucking worth and that's so cliche, but I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: stop saying it to women, because you need to know.
Speaker 1: If you don't know, do shit to increase and to
Speaker 1: promote self love for yourself. You need to love yourself.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying you hate yourself, but you damn sure
Speaker 1: don't love yourself more than you love that man. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you that because you dropped everything and ran
Speaker 1: and he called you because he needed you, Because he
Speaker 1: needed you, that's probably the only time he call you
Speaker 1: when he needs you for something. And yes, it feels
Speaker 1: good to be needed. It feels good until you need
Speaker 1: the same motherfucker. That needed you. You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It feels good into a motherfucker keep needing you and
Speaker 1: you're not getting anything back, not even love and honesty
Speaker 1: like that type of shit, you know what I'm saying, Loyalty, faithfulness,
Speaker 1: all of that shit, Compliments, back rubs and talking about
Speaker 1: no judgment. He makes you feel good. It's only you
Speaker 1: and him when you all together, it's only about you.
Speaker 1: It's about you when y'all ain't together. That's what the
Speaker 1: fuck you want. That's what every woman wants. I don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck who turns their head away and who
Speaker 1: driving in a car listening to this shit right now
Speaker 1: disagreeing with me. Every woman want that. I'm not a man,
Speaker 1: so I can't speak for them. But listen, everyone want
Speaker 1: that shit, whether you want it from another woman or
Speaker 1: from a man, or from a group of people. That's
Speaker 1: what the fuck you want a group of people at
Speaker 1: one time, you know what I'm saying. Because everybody like
Speaker 1: different shit. They got different purposes. But everybody wants to
Speaker 1: be loved. That's one thing we all have in common.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to be loved. Okay, so I think you
Speaker 1: should pay attention to who you are. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, because another man could be making you the
Speaker 1: happiest woman that you've ever been, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: and you could be making the right man the happiest
Speaker 1: man that he's ever been. So update me, girl. I
Speaker 1: need to know what the fast forward was looking like.
Speaker 1: I need to know what today is looking like, so
Speaker 1: I can give you further advice if you come back,
Speaker 1: if you come back, because sometimes I fix somebody mess
Speaker 1: and I gave it to him to blunt and they'd
Speaker 1: be like, fuck Jess, I ain't talking back guard, but
Speaker 1: that's the risk that you run when you let me
Speaker 1: all in your busines this. I'm not in your business
Speaker 1: just to tell everybody what the fuck you're going through.
Speaker 1: I'm literally here to help fix your mess. We just
Speaker 1: got listeners because I'm telling you ain't the only one
Speaker 1: going through what you sent me. So that's why we
Speaker 1: do this shit. That's why people listen. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. But guess what. We've come to the end
Speaker 1: of this episode, and I know y'all gonna be looking
Speaker 1: forward to the next week's one because that's when we'll
Speaker 1: be able to pick up with his last story left off. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: so in my deepest paying voice next week, y'all Can't
Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
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