WEBVTT - Never Number One 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of Ieheart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:16.840 and the Black Effects. Are we on a air? Yeah, 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:18.720 we're on an air. Guess what's y'all share? Girl? Just 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:22.360 hilarious and welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode? 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:25.239 What and Why I will be fixing your mess? Now? 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:29.960 We don't have any voice memos today. People starting to 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:32.880 get caught up because the people that they be hitting 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:36.199 us about be listening to y'all. So people have been 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:38.360 getting snatched up left and right, Like I heard you 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:41.400 telling just our business thinking that she could fix our 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:44.040 shit whole time. You know what I'm saying. I had 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:48.040 some people writing me right and say, oh my such 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:51.360 and such had wrote you or sent you a voice memo, 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:53.840 but they didn't tell you the whole story. And so 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.120 now I gotta tell you, but that person never sent it. 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:58.600 That was only one person that did that. Then I 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:02.360 had another person that, uh said that their husband had 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:05.680 wrote me. It wasn't even a voice memo. They just 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:09.520 knew their story and how their significant other type. Damn 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:13.280 Ain't that some private eye detective shit. I know that's right, 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:15.280 I know that's right. So I think that's why we 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:17.160 haven't been getting a lot of voice memos. However, we're 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.319 gonna jump into this reading right here. Jess, please fix 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:22.959 my mess. The backstory is so long, I don't even 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:25.640 know where to start, but the short version is, I've 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:28.399 been this guy's mistress for about ten years. God damn. 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.880 He has a girlfriend pretty much his wife, no kids together, 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.360 but they both have kids from different relationships. It's clear 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.480 that he's never going to leave her, and I've always 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:43.880 known that whatever. Fine, No, the fuck, it's not whatever. Fine, girl. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.280 I like him and maybe even love him so much 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:48.840 that I'm willing to be his ride or die mistress. 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:52.720 It's so many things wrong with that ride or die mistress. 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:55.680 It's bad enough that you already a mistress, then you 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.280 his ride or die. When the fuck are we gonna 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:03.280 stop making ourselves available in this accessible to a man 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:08.000 ride or die? No, I don't even care that. It's 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:13.320 just the saying words whole power, and I honestly hate that. 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:16.320 I've never used that term for myself, not as a teenager, 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:18.600 not as a woman in my twenties, and now I'm 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:20.280 in my thirties. I don't think I ever wanted to 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.720 be a nigga's riddle, die, I'm telling you, uh huh, 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:26.639 all right, I'm continuing. So she says, I'm so crazy 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.280 about him. I even moved into the same building as him, 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:32.920 which his girlfriend also lives in with him. I mean, 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.080 will due. I literally live over top of him. So 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:38.200 lately he's been busy at work and has not been 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.160 giving me any attention, which is off to me because 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:44.239 he always makes time for me. Paranoia got the best 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:47.240 of me, and thoughts of him possibly seeing someone else 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.240 came to mind. Well, how many other people he got 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.840 time to see? If he lived with his girlfriend and 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.560 his other girlfriend live over top of him, what the fuck? 0:02:56.520 --> 0:03:01.280 Maybe he might be seeing someone else. Girl, He might 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:04.160 be seeing his girlfriend, that's what the fuck happened, And 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.480 she may have found out about your little ass, and 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:08.600 so he need to take the attention off of y'all 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.320 real quick, cause shit getting hot. You don't understand now 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:14.600 if it is somebody else, what are you gonna do? 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:17.760 What does that make you number two? Or number three? 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.600 What does that? I mean You're not number one? Now, listen, 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:23.799 you don't have a problem with that. Be that as 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.200 it may. I'm here to tell you that's some bullshit. 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.160 That's wrong. I don't know how old you are. I 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:31.080 don't know what you're doing in your life right now, 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.080 but I mean, I can't even say that you're a 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:37.480 young woman. I know you've given ten years of a 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.360 one sided relationship to a man. And the reason why 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.760 I say it's one sided because I bet he's your 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:47.800 only one, but you're not his only one, and you don't. 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:51.800 I hate to talk to other women like this, but 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:55.800 wake your ass up. Do you know you're so valuable, 0:03:55.840 --> 0:03:59.280 You're so beautiful, you deserve to be the only woman 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:03.520 a man is with. Do you not know that you 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:05.760 know what I'm saying. I need you to wake up here. 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:07.280 I would love to know how old you or I 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:09.400 would love for you to write me some more and 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:11.400 give me some more information about you, because baby, I 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:16.960 feel very very sorry. Actually I am very very upset 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:20.560 with you. I don't feel sorry for you, though, because 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.240 you willingly gave this nigga ten years of your life. 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.520 You willingly did that. I hope you ain't in your forties. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:28.840 I hope you ain't in your thirties. Baby. I hope 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.840 you're not older than twenty five. That's what I really, 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.560 really fucking hope and I hope this ain'ts some old 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:38.159 last man who got money, because I hear this story 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.200 all too often. Baby, you can go get your own money, 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:41.880 or you can go get you somebody your age with 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:44.080 some other fucking money, or you know what I'm saying. 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:48.120 And it's so many, so many opportunities of love for 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:52.880 you in life. And you and you're sharing willingly, sharing 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:57.919 a man with one, maybe two other women. That's some 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.599 crazy shit you live in. All y'all live in the 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:03.200 same building with Natara Peter and a mana going to 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:05.560 fuck on what is going on? I know you better 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:07.480 not get pregnant, and I know you better not ever 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:09.880 think about knocking on ay motherfucking door because guess what, 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:14.359 who ain't gonna leave her? Okay, she lived with the nigga. 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:16.719 She the closest to the nigger than you. You still 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:19.640 live by yourself, so there's still hope. Because he ain't 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.960 living with you. You need to move out that goddamn building. 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:25.279 I'll tell you that, But I'm also tell you this. 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:29.160 I guarantee you if you leave this man alone, he'll 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:31.840 come crawling. He'll come crawling, and you gotta be strong 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.279 enough to say no. See, he's used to you chasing 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:36.560 and chasing and chasing and chasing. That's why he put 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:38.960 you on the back burner for whenever it's convenient for 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:40.800 him to talk to you, for him to deal with 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:46.200 you ten years. Girl, please leave that motherfucker alone and 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:48.120 still stay in the same building. If you can't, just 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:50.960 up and leave. So I say, still stay in the building, 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.200 but start dealing with somebody else, Start having another nigga. 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:55.919 Come over there, girl, what the fuck? Get your mind 0:05:55.920 --> 0:05:58.320 off that shit. That man is downstairs, not worrying about 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.960 you one bit until he sees you, until he lays 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:04.200 his eyes on you, and he's probably scared to death 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.919 every fucking night that you're gonna not go on the 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:09.599 fucking door, you know what I'm saying. But that ain't 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.160 gonna do shit, and ain't gonna do shit. She probably 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:14.200 she probably will be mad at him, but she ain't 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.280 gonna go nowhere. You just told me he ain't never 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.279 leaving her. You think she leaving him? And do you 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:20.120 think you the first person that he cheated with. She 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:22.679 probably already know he cheated, you know what I'm saying. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.360 Or he's cheating, so you gotta be smarter than her. 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.640 You gotta be smarter than him. Get the fuck about 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:31.960 the situation, Update me and give me some more meat 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:33.760 on the bones. Let me know what you end up 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:35.800 coming up with, a girl. Let me know what you 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:39.200 come up with. I can't believe that if you love me, 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:41.880 you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:46.800 Move it on. Hi there, Jess, please fix my mess. 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.000 I took a break from dating, and I decided to 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.880 cut my family completely off the beginning of this year. 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:54.880 I realized that I was carrying this childhood trauma for 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.240 twenty years and put it past me. When I cut 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:00.760 my family off, m I finally came to terms that 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:04.520 my mom will never sincerely apologize for choosing a sick 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:09.080 man over her daughter, and my siblings picking sides. Lately, 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:12.000 I've been smiling a lot more social and the word 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.920 no has become my favorite word to say. I know 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.000 what that feel like, boll. I am in full control 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:21.280 of not letting anybody disturb my peace. I know that's right. 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:24.920 The minute I've recognized a red flag, that person is 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:27.840 getting dropped with no more warnings. Now I am ready 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:29.800 to start dating, but I feel like I won't be 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:32.560 taken seriously, since I am not close with my family, 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.240 do you think a man will still want a relationship 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:37.960 with me if the chances of meeting my family is 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:43.000 very slim? Thanks in advance. All right, well, baby girl, 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:47.240 It all depends on how bad your family issues has 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:52.960 affected you. How have they affected you. It seems like 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.680 it's a lot of family trauma there, because if you 0:07:56.720 --> 0:08:01.200 had to cut your family completely off, who maybe it 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.960 was very unhealthy for you and mentally unhealthy for you 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:07.920 as well, because you're not supposed to surround yourself with 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:11.560 anything but positivity and love, even if there is hardly 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:13.800 any around you. You have to create that space for 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.440 you to feel safe and to have a peace of mind. 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:21.000 If your family was interfering with that or contributing to 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.800 the wrong side of it and or even to your 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.360 well being, then I am all for your decision. But 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.880 family is family, you know what I'm saying. So I'm 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:34.640 never vouching for you to completely cut them off forever, 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.720 you know what I mean. Sometimes things just you just 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:40.560 have to y'all have to get to the bottom of things. 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:42.400 And you know you didn't mention that you will never 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.240 You feel like you'll never get an apology from your mother. 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.200 It's therapy, something that you guys talked about. Do you 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:50.640 not want to do therapy? Are you not ready? You 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:52.800 know a lot of people force therapy on people, and 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.080 people just have to go when they feel the time 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:57.240 is right for them, because a lot of people still 0:08:57.280 --> 0:09:00.240 don't understand what therapy really is and how it can 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.040 actually help you more than hurt you, you know what 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:07.120 I'm saying, and more than exposing yourself. You really may 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:10.680 just may just needed somebody to talk to, to hear 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.640 you out and to sort things out for you' That's 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:17.120 what therapy is, help you cope, you know what I'm saying. 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:21.400 Not in a negative way now, Yes I do to 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:24.440 answer your question, Yes, I certainly do believe that you 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.840 can still find love with a good man who you 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:30.480 can explain this to a man with an open mind, 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:33.160 a man who is going to be patient enough for 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:37.520 you to explain this shit. Finally, whenever you get the chance. 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:40.240 You know, you don't just let anybody into your business. 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:42.959 That's something that you just don't go around saying. Or 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:45.400 I'll cut my family off because of the d and 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.560 because this happened, and that happened. I don't want them 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:51.560 to drive you away, and they make me different, and 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:53.600 I don't want to drive you away because of something 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.240 my family is making me feel and how they're making 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:58.480 me act, and you know I act a certain way 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.520 because I'm not comfortable around them, or that. You know, 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.280 all of that stuff can be talked about because it's 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:08.360 not really solely about your family when you're dating unless 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.439 you are a person of tradition where you want to 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.280 get married. You want to bring them home to mom 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.079 and pop. You want to you know, I don't know 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:16.679 if you have siblings, but you know you want to 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:19.240 bring them around your grandparents. You want you want your 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.320 man to meet your cousins and you know, your uncle 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:23.839 and your aunts and stuff like that. If you are 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:27.720 a person of tradition for a family tradition more specifically, 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:32.160 I do understand. I understand that. But yes, yeah, just understand. 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.880 When you date, you don't date for your family. Okay. 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.360 And in this story and the fact that you ask me, 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:42.000 that tells me that you must have feel that you 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:46.400 lost a relationship due to your family problems. You must 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:49.240 have gone through something with a family with family and 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:53.760 a boyfriend or something like that. But yes, baby, all 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:56.640 hope is not lost for you because you're taking a 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:58.520 break away from your family, you know what I mean. Now, 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.320 you said completely off, you cut them completely off. But 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:04.040 I'm just gonna say a break. You know, we all 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.920 need each other. Girl. The world is so fucking nuts 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:10.240 and crazy right now. You have to at least give 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:14.199 grace to loved ones. I'm not saying be stupid and 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.439 let anybody do anything to you. I'm not saying you 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:20.120 should willingly take disrespect, no, but just give them grace 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:23.920 enough because people do change, and it starts with them 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:28.200 noticing that there was a problem that they could have created. 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:31.640 You know, the first part is accountability on both ends. 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.040 So yes, yes, because I felt like this was a 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:36.680 two part story. You told me a lot that I 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:38.480 want to help you fix with your family, and then 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.880 you told me some with dating. But yes, I think 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:43.840 you can. But you just update me and keep me 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.040 in the loop and everything, because I really want to 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:48.960 see you going to date, girl, And I see you 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:50.920 going to date that's kind of creepy, but I want 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.160 to know that you will get out here. You know 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.120 what I'm saying, There's nothing wrong with that. Like I said, 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.640 just make sure you keep all communication open, be honest, 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.439 and if you get serious with somebody, then that's when 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.640 you start thinking about sitting down with that person, telling 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.440 them all of this information, and hopefully they will still 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:08.840 love you for you. I don't see a reason why 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:10.679 man will get up and leave because you and your 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:12.480 family ain't saying out to aye. You fucking with me 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:14.520 or you're fucking with my family, you know what I mean. 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:17.320 Although there is a bigger picture, yes, weddings and all that, 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:20.720 but cross that bridge when y'all get there. You gotta 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:24.040 get past this first. So yes, girl, keep me updated, 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:26.160 let me know, Hold up, hold up, I know this 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.640 shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.199 of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. This 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:34.480 is a smooth episode. And then everybody know how to 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:38.840 spell and y'all doing good? All right, last story. Then 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:40.360 I'm getting up out of here. I got a show 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:45.160 at TSU. Y'all at Tennessee State University tonight, y'all? All right? 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:50.319 All right, dad homecoming, yay, yay, all right. Last one, Jesz, 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:52.760 I need you to help me fix my mess. Shaking 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.920 my motherfucking head. I have been in an on and 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:58.760 off relationship with my baby daddy for the past ten years. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.920 Everybody got this ten word today. In those ten years 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:05.000 of long on and offs, he has also been with 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.520 one of his baby mothers, who he's been involved with 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:11.559 for fifteen plus years. Damn, we both have known about 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:16.520 each other and dealt with it accordingly. Long story short, 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.120 me and him went through a rough patch for about 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:22.200 a year where we wasn't involved with each other. No fucking, 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:26.319 no chilling, just straight parenting. Not gonna lie. In that time, 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.840 I did the most. I mean, hey, I was single, 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.280 I didn't know how to act, and I was heartbroken 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.880 and did things I wasn't proud of. Hoh well, aha, 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.480 I see what you did that, she said, hoh well, okay, 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:42.800 so you went and lived your life. Okay. He was 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.480 a little hot girl. Real quick, I understand, I get 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:49.040 the translation. Well, fast forward. He got into some legal 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.360 trouble with that same baby mother and the first person 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:54.160 he called was me, of course, And what did I do? 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.200 Drop everything and ran to him. I mean, because at 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:58.960 the end of the day, I still love this man. 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:04.520 Fast forward to the present. He hold up, did she 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.160 end the damn that? Yall? That's how she ended it? 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:10.480 How you gonna get me all excited for the damn 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:13.560 story and then stop right there, damn you. Oh my god, 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.280 that's some bullshit. I think she did this shit on purpose, 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.640 because how the fuck well, I'm about to give you 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:24.480 advice from where you began the story until now, and 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:26.280 then you can give me the second part, because I'm 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.440 damn sure gonna write you back and ask you what 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:30.720 the fuck is he doing now in the present, because 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:32.760 you fast forward to the present and then said he 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.280 and then stopped like he caught you about to tell 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:36.960 me his business or something, and said, bitch, give me 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:40.000 the phone. Shit. All right. So you've been on and 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.240 off with your baby daddy for the past ten years, 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:45.880 all right, But he also been dealing with one of 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:49.840 his other baby mothers, who obviously their child is older. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.160 You said he been dealing with her for fifteen plus years. 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.000 I mean, I don't know if that if he had 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.440 a baby with you before her, But you come second. 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.400 It's basically what you're telling me. You've never been first, 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.960 is what you also are telling me, because he's never 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.600 left her alone. If it's been fifteen years for her 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:10.160 and ten years for you, you was the other woman. 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.800 You know, and then she could still be the other 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:15.880 woman as well. Shit, because what if it's a bitch 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.160 that y'all ain't find out about yet that he been 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.200 around for twenty You know what I'm saying, that you 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:23.920 just never know. You said, y'all went through a rough 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.120 patch for about a year. Y'all ain't fuck, y'all ain't 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.760 do nothing but just cole parent. And you said that's 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:30.640 when you did the most because you was heartbroken and 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:32.760 all of that shit. And then you was basically out 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.720 here on your sexy red shit. You know, you ain't 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:38.400 say you was the raw dog queen, but you out 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.560 here skiing is what you admitted. And it's all right. 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:43.880 A lot of women have that phase in their lives. 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:46.160 It could be before love, after love, all their lives. 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.320 It don't matter, you know what I'm saying. So something 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.280 you did say that I did not like. I want 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:57.080 women to stop fucking doing. Is reducing themselves. This reminds 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.120 me of what I just said to the girl with 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:05.000 the first story. This is again you diminishing yourself. You know, 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:11.000 you are allowing a man to have more than one woman. 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.960 And what I mean by allowing him because you can't 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.560 make him choose you and only you. You know what 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:19.960 I'm saying, He dealing with y'all for convenience. Like when 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.360 it comes to his convenience, he probably beefing with the 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.120 other bib mother. So that's why he fucking called you. Yeah, 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.360 he beefing with her. Shit. Yeah, of course he gonna 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.960 call you. And if he was beefing with you and 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:33.360 he got into some legal trouble behind you, he would 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.920 call her. Do you not see? Sister, Sister Tya and Tamara? 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.320 Do you not see? That's what y'all are in his eyes, 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:43.520 twin baby Mama, because y'all both do the same shit 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:48.240 for him. That's exactly what y'all are. And that's some bullshit. 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:52.120 And sometimes it takes for me to repeat your mess 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:55.200 back to you for you to fix it your damn self. 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.920 That's crazy. I know, he your baby daddy. You won't 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.920 always have to deal with him being around, in him 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:06.280 being in your life because he is the father of 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.360 your child or children, you know what I'm saying. However, 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:13.840 he's never going to choose only you. I don't care 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.719 how many kids you lay down and have with him. 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:19.239 He's not gonna ever only choose you. You know why, 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.680 because you're never going to demand that. You don't demand 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.359 that respect from him. You just sat here and told 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:28.000 me that you and the other baby mother knew that 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:29.680 he was dealing with both of y'all at the same time. 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:33.080 Y'all just both accepted it and handled him accordingly. That 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.840 basically mean y'all went along with it. That's all probably 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:37.640 gave him a little bit of lip and a little 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.320 bit of tantrum, and you know, did whatever y'all thought 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.720 was gonna hurt his feelings. But baby, if y'all still 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.240 at the end of the day laying down with him 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:49.520 and still jumping when he's say, jump, or doing things 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:52.320 for him, or sleeping with him when it's convenient or whatever, 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:55.080 or when you know he's mad and beefing with the 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:58.159 other one, that's when he over there with you. You know, 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:01.560 it doesn't matter. All three of y'all may as well 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:04.520 be in a polyamorous relationship. You know, I know you're 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:06.600 not attracted to her. I don't know, but I'm gonna 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:10.600 just say that. But that polyamorous thing was literally just me, 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:14.000 you know, being sarcastic. But that's what that is. You 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:16.560 already know. I mean, well, It's an open relationship, ain't it, y'all? 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.120 Just both still mad about each other. When you feel 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:21.159 that he favors her more, you get upset. You just 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:22.760 said you do the fucking most, and you go out 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:25.600 and you start hoing, you know what I mean. Common 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.679 denominator is him. Get rid of him, Learn how to 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:32.560 co parent without co fucking him. Learn how to co 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:36.240 parent without still being his doormat. Learn how to do that. 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:39.879 A lot of women do this shit too often, you know, 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:42.800 more often than not. I can't stand it. Know you're 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:46.720 fucking worth and that's so cliche, but I'm never gonna 0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:48.960 stop saying it to women, because you need to know. 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.119 If you don't know, do shit to increase and to 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.359 promote self love for yourself. You need to love yourself. 0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:58.920 I'm not saying you hate yourself, but you damn sure 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.520 don't love yourself more than you love that man. I'm 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.440 gonna tell you that because you dropped everything and ran 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.480 and he called you because he needed you, Because he 0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:10.000 needed you, that's probably the only time he call you 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.760 when he needs you for something. And yes, it feels 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:16.960 good to be needed. It feels good until you need 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:20.080 the same motherfucker. That needed you. You understand what I'm saying. 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.399 It feels good into a motherfucker keep needing you and 0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:27.600 you're not getting anything back, not even love and honesty 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:33.400 like that type of shit, you know what I'm saying, Loyalty, faithfulness, 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:37.320 all of that shit, Compliments, back rubs and talking about 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:40.199 no judgment. He makes you feel good. It's only you 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:43.000 and him when you all together, it's only about you. 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:46.679 It's about you when y'all ain't together. That's what the 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:48.720 fuck you want. That's what every woman wants. I don't 0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:51.400 give a fuck who turns their head away and who 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:53.680 driving in a car listening to this shit right now 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:56.760 disagreeing with me. Every woman want that. I'm not a man, 0:19:56.800 --> 0:20:00.480 so I can't speak for them. But listen, everyone want 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:02.960 that shit, whether you want it from another woman or 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:04.879 from a man, or from a group of people. That's 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:07.040 what the fuck you want a group of people at 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.720 one time, you know what I'm saying. Because everybody like 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.280 different shit. They got different purposes. But everybody wants to 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:16.040 be loved. That's one thing we all have in common. 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:21.960 Everybody wants to be loved. Okay, so I think you 0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:24.600 should pay attention to who you are. You know what 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:27.520